The Newspaper Wolf
Tuesday, I was waiting outside school.
My day wasn't bad in any way except for the sore paws I had from playing piano in music class, but I was proud of myself for practicing that much for my coming exams. In fact, everyone in my class found themselves worried for such evaluations, except me. My sucess wasn't because I was an ace at it, but more inclined to my good luck.
Earlier in the day one of my classmates named Clay asked me to be his tutor for both Spanish and Music classes and I agreed. Clay was a shy but cheerful wolf who most of the time got good grades in everything. He looked like most of the wolves (including me) in the school, yet he had a distintive nickname: the newspaper wolf. The cause of such naming was the newspaper he always carried around.
Of course, rumors about it got spread fairly quick.
Some thought he was poor and so he helped his family selling some copies of it. Other group said that he was addict to reading it. Also there was a rumor at the one I laughed a lot: He had a fetish for the paper!
The poor wolf was the funny topic every now and then with everyone adressing his nickname. I was in that group at first but over time began to feel pity for the young canine and for decency learned to call him by his name. After that we became almost like friends.
"Hey, Josh!" someone startled me of my thoughts.
"What's up, Clay?" I greeted the grey wolf that stood at my side. "Had a good day?"
"Yes" he said with a smile "I apologize for making you wait"
"No worries" I replied " Do the plans remain unchanged?"
"Yes, but with a small change" said Clay. "You see, today is my birthday and mom asked me to take..."
"Oh, that's great!" I interrupted as I hugged him. "Happy birthday!"
I felt his arms getting rigid between mine so I got back quickly.
"Sorry if I offended you" I said ashamed.
"Don't worry..." I noticed a redish color beneath the fur of his face. "I was saying that mom wanted me to bring a friend to celebrate, but as I got no friends I..."
"I'll gladly celebrate with you"
He smiled again and then guided me towards a white car that was parked near the exit of the school. He opened one of the doors and took a place beside me on the back seats. There he introduced me to the female wolf that was on the pilot seat: his mother.
The car engine started and crossed various squares before stopping in front of an old house located at a small neighborhood. All along the trip I remained silent to show education.
"Welcome to my house, Josh" said Clay "Mom we're going to study in my room"
Clay's mother turned the car on again and drove down the street.
"My mom has two jobs" explained my host on the way upstairs, "she only gets time to pick me up in school"
"Do you live alone?" I asked as we entered Clay's room.
"Yes. My parents got divorced and my big brother is dead"
"Oh, I'm sorry." I said but he smiled to my reaction.
"Don't worry, he's allright" he said looking at his bed "Can we sit?"
"What do you mean?" We sat and he got out a newspaper from his backpack.
"Do you know why I always carry this?" I shook my head as he searched something in the middle page. "See this person over here?"
He pointed to one small photo on the corner with his claw. It was the page for showing disappeared people with the date of four years in the past. The picture showed a wolf that resembled Clay's appearance in all ways.
"Your brother?"
"Yes. He went missing four years ago" he said staring at the picture. "I loved my big brother more than anything."
The young wolf let some sobs out and I hugged him by instinct, this time he accepted my gesture. I didn't knew him very well but he was gaining my compassion and care.
"My mother says that my brother died" Clay's voice began to shake and tears flowed from his eyes. "I know he is alive, that's why I search for him every day"
"But you..."
"Every day I ask people if they have seen him around... with no luck" he continued "that's why I bring this newspaper with me; the only photo I have from him..."
Now I understood the mystery, his pain, his lone suffering. And yet he had to cope up with the daily pranks of everyone in school. Clay only wanted his brother back, I could understand his point, but why he told everything to me?
"Josh, I feel so lonely and you're the only one who treats me well like my brother" Clay showed me his teary blue eyes "Josh, could you...?"
"Clay, I understand your pain right now..." I was still holding him in my arms "but I can't replace your brother"
"But Josh... I beg you" he held me closer.
"I'm sorry, but I can't" I felt my voice growing weaker " I can't do it"
"Please, please..." Clay cried louder.
I felt scared and as I couldn't find an easy exit to the situation I started to cry, too.
"Josh, once more... please, remain at my side" he asked me trying to grab my paw but I let go.
"Clay, I can't be your brother..." and then I ran off the house leaving him alone.
Wednesday was terrible. The still image of Clay crying didn't left my mind. I wanted to apologize, to say I was sorry for being so rude, and maybe... maybe to tell him that I could stay with him him as the lover he wanted, but I didn't saw him in school.
Then I made up some courage and made the resolution to visit him to tell him that I was sorry and to admit that... well, I was in love with him, that I wanted to be his everything after all.
I walked for around twenty minutes until I found Clay's house.
Panting I knocked on the door three times and waited. Clay's mother opened and looked at me. She had wet marks all over her face and looked full of wearyness.
"Excuse me, is Clay in home?" I asked desperately.
"My son... is dead" said the female with a string of voice as she handed me one piece of crumbled paper.
I unfloded it and read in my mind while my eyes revived my feelings of sadness and a knot was formed in my throat:
My beloved Josh:
I'm really sorry for everything. I'm sorry for making you feel hurt, for falling in love with someone as wonderful as you.
I've made my mind and it's no worth living like this. I've lost my brother and now I've lost you, my new hope for being happy. I thank you for everything.
I just want to ask for something. Search for my brother and tell him that I never gave up on seraching him. Also please take of my mother which I also loved very deeply.
Don't forget that I loved you, and keep loving you when all this ends. No one will remember me, but you will... I know that that you will remember me. Too late, but you will remember me.
Wrote:
The newspaper wolf
The note ended there. I looked behind it but there was nothing. Nothing...
"Where's Clay?" I asked with the little strenght I had.
"Didn't you read? He's dead!" yelled the female with a sorrowful voice.
"You're lying... you're lying" I said. And then entered the house. "Clay? Where are you?"
But I only heard the echoes of my weak voice. It couldn't be real. Clay couldn't had commited... suicide. His mother was lying. She was lying... I knew it.
Then an idea got to my mind. "Yes! It's brilliant!" I thought running upstairs. I entered to the room of my dear wolf and searched his belongings for the old newspaper. I found it under some books at the desk of my beloved.
I searched for the photo of the wolf on the middle page. "There you are, my everything" I whispered to the wolf in the picture. I ripped the page and ran outside. The female wolf was still there, crying.
"Don't worry, mom" I told her wipping her tears "I'm going to find my brother... the Clay that we love so much"
She looked at me for a moment and began to scream as some of the neighbors came near to see what was happening. But I left them there. They could take care of my mother. After all she was very strong.
In that moment all that I cared of is to find Clay, to tell him I loved him... I had photo of him, it was only to ask around the town.
It was only to ask, and if one day didn't brought me results there was always a tomorrow.
"Don't worry, Clay" I said to myself "One day I'll find you."