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1. The Descent

Marc pulled out and promptly fell over. Keurin sat, on all fours, staring at the headboard in front of him, thoroughly unsatisfied.

"You know," Keurin began in a half-joke, "I think that's the first time I've been hatefucked."

"Sorry," Marc replied, the word coming out as short and as fast as a gunshot.

"No, it's just... something on your mind there, champ?" Keurin slid onto his stomach. He rolled on his side and propped his head up on his hand.

"Nope," was Marc's final reply before he turned away from the dragon.

Sheesh, Keurin thought, staring at the back of Marc's head. His eyes trailed down the huskywolf's bare back to his rump, following Marc's tail as it flicked to and fro. Leave a guy hangin' why don't you...?

He gently lay on his back and finished the job himself, ignoring when the huskywolf scoffed and rolled away from him.

The next day, Marc was gone before Keurin woke up. The dragon looked at the clock, it was just past seven in the morning.

"He doesn't have class this early... but I gotta get ready..." Keurin murmured aloud as he arose, grabbed his towel, and hit the showers.

The warm water - the icy water chilled him to the bone, passing right through his fur like quicksilver, making him jump so high that his head almost hit the ceiling. He scowled at the shower head as if it had anything to do with it. He knew; he knew that Marc had taken an extra-long shower... almost as if he purposely wanted to leave the dragon with no hot water. By the time he finished washing he was shivering heavily, pruned and wrinkly, everything drawn up to embarrassing proportions.

After that, he went to his job as a teacher's assistant at a nearby academy for gifted children. Marc wouldn't return any of his calls or texts, but it was finals week - Keurin thought - so perhaps that was normal. The day dragged on painfully slow, highlighted only by the children and their ever cheerful demeanors; their Yes sir's and No sir's; every one of them turning in their homework on time, always perfect scores; almost making Keurin wonder why they even needed a teacher - sometimes they even corrected him!

When school let out, Keurin walked home slowly, looking down at his phone almost constantly as he hoped he would see a text message or a call from Marc. No such luck. He sighed and tucked his phone into his pocket as he walked up the stairs to their apartment and let himself in. Marc was sitting at the computer. He closed out of the window he was viewing as Keurin entered, but the dragon could have sworn he saw what appeared to be a real estate website...

"How was class?" the dragon asked, dropping his laptop bag into the recliner and slipping behind Marc, bending over to hug him from behind, resting his head on the man's shoulder. Marc sighed softly and reached up to pat Keurin's hand before gently shrugging him off.

"That good, huh?" the dragon said with a playful giggle.

Marc hopped up and went into the bedroom. Keurin could hear the bathroom door shut, and then the shower turn on.

"What the hell," he began, standing up and crossing his arms, "Is his problem?"

_ "I love you, Marc," Keurin had begun, fumbling with his hands as he turned his gaze away from the huskywolf, looking into the fire that lit the room just enough. "I've loved you since the moment I met you..."_

Marc took a two hour shower, once again draining the hot water heater. Keurin sat at the computer. He did indeed see a real estate browser earlier. He hated to invade on Marc's privacy like that... but this was only another in a long series of odd moments with his fiancé that spanned months now, and it never ceased to surprise him. He sighed and closed out the browser and brought up the draft of the book he was working on, the one that would become Toby's alleged favorite so many years later. It was almost completed; all it needed was a conclusion...

The dragon managed to pull his eyes away from his text processor to look at the clock. It was nearly four in the morning. He groaned, rubbed his forehead with his hand and stood up, almost losing balance as he did so. He had skipped dinner, and as far as he knew, so did Marc. If the huskywolf had ventured out of the bedroom, he had done so rather quietly and didn't even bother to offer Keurin anything or let him know he was writing into the wee hours of the morning.

Classes must really be getting to him... the dragon thought, but knew otherwise. He stumbled into the kitchen and forced down a few pieces of toast and some juice. What's with the apartment listing? Does he want to move? We're already as close to his college as we can get...

He stumbled into the bedroom, where Marc was sitting awake on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing... not unless the wall before him was extremely interesting and Keurin just couldn't tell because of his exhaustion.

_ "I love you too, Keurin," Marc had replied, taking the dragon in his arms and pulling him close. He pressed his lips against the other's closing his eyes and groaning softly as the feeling of being kissed for the first time overtook him, setting his teeth on edge, warming his blood, sparking in his nerves._

"You okay, Marc?" Keurin asked. He sat down next to the huskywolf and looked at him. He wasn't sure, but he might have seen tears welling up in the man's eyes. Keurin touched his shoulder gently; the muscle seemed to tense up and grow rock hard, as if it was trying to tell Keurin that his hand wasn't welcome there.

"I'm fine," he replied.

"No, you're not. If you think I'm going to believe that you're okay, you must think I'm pretty naïve. Please, tell me what's wrong. Is it college? Do you want me to help you study for your finals?"

"No. You're too busy writing your book. Make any progress?"

"I..." Keurin sighed. He wrung his hands in his lap, looking down at the floor. "No, I didn't. Nothing seems to come out right. I can't seem to end things."

"Well..." the huskywolf murmured. "I guess I'll have to end it."

"Marc... I can't imagine seeing myself with anyone else but you. You've made my life worth living; you've given me hope for something I never thought I would ever experience: true love. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you, or if I had never met you... Will you marry me?"

_ "Yes... yes, Keurin, yes!"_

Keurin had an insane feeling of weightlessness for half of a second before something clamped around his legs, hauling him upwards. He somehow managed to keep a hold on his phone as he was hoisted back onto the balcony.

"He'll have to call you back," Keurin's rescuer said and hung up the phone. He placed it in his back pocket and crossed his arms, looking down at the dazed dragon. "What the fuck are you doing, you little fool!"

"...Marc...?" Keurin said dazedly, the man before him appearing to be the huskywolf, but that mirage dissipating as he blinked the tears away.

"Who? Look I don't know what the hell is going on, but you're fuckin' lucky I got here; someone downstairs complained that there was some yelling and screaming up here so I had to come check it out; and what do you think I find? My newest tenant about to jump ship and throw himself over the goddamn ledge! Are you high, boy? Or are you just stupid?"

"...Troy?" Keurin said as he came back to his senses.

"Yeah, Troy; care to explain what the hell you're doing?"

"I... I don't know; I was thinking of my ex-boyfriend and how it all ended and I just... I don't know; I didn't even know I was falling... I just... I don't know."

Troy scowled. "Okay, look, your queer ex isn't worth killing yourself over? Now pick your ass up and come inside. God damn. Do you have a coffee pot?"

The dragon climbed to his feet, casting a glance over the balcony. Had he really almost fell over? Was he that close to dying?

"Hello?" Troy snapped his fingers in front of Keurin's face. "Coffee pot."

"It's uh... above the sink... you're staying?"

"I can't just leave you here where you might decide to take a walk off the top of the building, can I? God, boy, get a damn hold of yourself."

Troy dragged Keurin inside and shoved him down on the couch. He was clearly tipsy and extremely aggravated that he now had to babysit the queer dragon. As the coffee steeped and the alluring aroma filled the apartment, he fell onto the couch next to Keurin, the weight of his fall almost popping Keurin into the air.

"Now tell me about this guy friend of yours and why the fuck you think you need to kill yourself for him."

"I don't want to kill myself for him... I don't love him anymore; I don't know why I started to fall over the ledge... I just... the last thing I remember is being so happy, being so very happy, like all of the torment was coming to an end... and then you pulled me back up here and back to my senses... Great, I sound like an asylum escapee..."

"No kidding," Troy replied, raising his eyebrows as if to say: Ya fuckin' think so?

"Look," the bull began, "I don't know how it is with you queers, okay? Sorry, I don't know the PC term for it. Gays? Whatever, point is: I don't know if saying 'there are other fish in the sea' is appropriate here."

Keurin nodded. "That's fine... it's fine." The irony of that cliché statement hit Keurin and he began laughing.

"Well, laughter's a good sign... or a sign that you've completely lost it."

"No, no," Keurin coughed into his fist as he tried to will himself to stop. "It's fine, I'm fine; I can't believe I almost died, is all."

Troy rolled his eyes and got up. He moved into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee before returning to the living room and sitting back down.

"I was so close to getting my brother's wife to come up here, you know that? And now I have to babysit you..." Troy sighed and grinned. "God, like a damn kid."

Keurin frowned, "I'm sorry." "Nah, it's fine. It's whatever. I can't have my damn tenants flinging themselves off the roof. Can I smoke?" without waiting for permission - it was his building, after all - he lit up a cigarette. Keurin joined him.

"I'm all right, really; you don't have to stay up here."

"Oh, no, I'm not falling for that. You sit your ass down there and tell me what the hell's going on."

Keurin was silent for a while. He didn't feel much like telling the same old story yet again, but he had a feeling that Troy would keep pressing the matter until he worked it out of him.

"Around six years ago, my fiancé left me. You know that I'm a writer, well, back when I was actually writing, I would do so to help pay for his bills and loans for college... Unfortunately this meant that I was writing a lot... and was neglecting spending time with him. After he left me, I was utterly destroyed. This was a man with whom I had planned to spend my life. There was no doubt in my mind. Now, skip six years later, I've moved back here and I just fucking happen to get a job at a bookstore working for my ex-fiancé's new boyfriend? The guy's name is Toby, and apparently he has been filling Marc's head with ideas that I want to sleep with them, have a fuckin' threesome. Marc should know me better than that... I don't do things like that, I'm not into multiple partners." Keurin wrung his hands, shutting his eyes tight and clenching his teeth to suppress a curse word.

"So Marc comes over here and completely flips out on me to the point of threatening me, saying that if I so much as think of breaking he and Toby up, he'll do something, but I'm pretty sure that something is kick my ass. I wouldn't dream of breaking the two of them up. I'm glad they're together! I'm glad he's happy! I don't understand why he can't see that."

Troy scratched his chin, his cigarette pressed between two firm lips. He eyed the dragon up and down before speaking. "Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's not even this Marc guy... Maybe the problem is this Toby. He sounds like a troublemaker."

"I don't understand."

"Think about it, boy: why would Toby lie - assuming he is lying - about you wanting to jump into the bed with the two of them?"

"He is lying; I don't want to sleep with Toby any more than I want to sleep with Marc. I hate them; I hate the both of them," Keurin hissed, knowing very well that it was a lie... well, in Marc's case anyway. "I have to quit my job. I can't work under that asshole anymore."

"That's probably a good idea, boy." Troy said harshly, as if thinking Well that's a no brainer, dipshit. After a minute or so, Troy said aloud: "There's still the newsletter here at the condo."

Keurin nodded, "I know, but I need something steady to supplement my income rather than a newsletter that might not even publish my stuff, you know?" "Makes sense, kiddo."

"I'll just get a job at ViB again or something; I'll tutor kids, I don't care. I'll think about it more in the morning. Can I go to bed?"

"That's a good idea. Yeah, go on off to bed. I'm going to stay here for a while until I'm sure there won't be a take two of tonight's near-disaster. Got that?"

"Yeah, yeah I understand." Keurin hopped up. His lifted his hands a little, trying to find the words. "Uh... thanks for, you know, saving my life and all."

"Yeah, yeah, go to bed already." Troy said, his voice harsh again, but his eyes belied his demeanor; he was glad that Keurin was okay. He seemed to have taken a liking to him.

Keurin tipped his head and went into his bedroom. He shut the door and that's when the severity of it all hit him. He fell to his ass, sliding down the door. He couldn't get enough air in his lungs and sat there heaving and sputtering, his eyes so wide it seemed like they would fall right out of his head. His hands went to his temples and clutched the sides of his head; his ears were flat against his hair; tail curled around his waist as if to hug and comfort him; insane tears falling from his chin and pattering onto the crotch of his jeans.

I almost died... I almost killed myself...

After an hour, when he finally calmed down and became lucid again, Keurin picked himself up and crept over to the bed. He fell back onto the mattress, his legs hanging off, bent at the knee. He kicked his feet gently, flexing his toes. His arms were stretched out, groping and feeling the comforter.

"I almost died, wow... I could have..." Keurin said aloud, trying to force himself to get used to the idea that, if Troy hadn't been there, he would have splattered his brains out onto the pavement down in the alley; falling, feeling the wind rushing past him as he stared ahead; knowing he couldn't stop himself now, but still thrusting his hands forward as if to catch himself; a guttural and feral scream of absolute terror - the sound of dying in its purest essence - escaping his mouth; wetting himself, tears trailing behind him as gravity pulled him down faster, closer, closer now; smelling the garbage in the dumpster; watching as a stray rat ran out of the blast radius, but not too far, dinner was about to be served, still warm, heart beating for a few moments until rupturing; chest caved in like a crumpled paper bag; ribs little more than mush; his head turned to the side so that his final, ultimate thought is: Is that rat going to eat me? Am I going to become food for rodents...?

Keurin sat forward suddenly and shook his head. "God I really need to see a therapist..." he said, half joking. He stripped down and got into the shower just to let the water relax his body and wash away everything that had happened.

Back out in the living room, Troy pulled Keurin's phone from his pocket. After figuring out how to work the damn thing (Kids these days, he thought, Gotta have the most complicated shit.) he found the last person Keurin had been talking to, some guy named Aderrian. The photo on the screen made Troy roll his eyes: a big, buff guy standing there, flexing and showing off. He pressed the green Call button and waited for the orca to pick up.

Keurin? Hello, Keurin? Are you okay? Who was that guy? Do you-

_ _ "Calm down, bucko; the kid's fine. My name's Troy, I own the condos he's staying in."

What the hell happened? I was talking with him and suddenly I hear him murmuring something, chanting almost; then I hear a scream and suddenly you're there telling me he's just gonna have to call me back?

"It's fine, Aderrian, right? He's fine now. He almost had a bit of an accident. He... ah, shit... He almost fell over the railing of the balcony in his apartment. Said it was because of some guy named Marc and his boyfriend Toby, you know anything about that?"

Oh, really. Aderrian said, not a question, but a statement. I'm about sick of Marc, especially now that he's gone and done something to almost make Keurin kill himself.

"Don't do anything foolish about it, man."

I'm not going to do anything that I didn't think needed to be done for quite a while now.

"Where are you?"

I'm a lifeguard on the cruise ship Sea Master. We're currently pulling into port for the weekend. I planned on coming to see Keurin, but I think I need to take care of something first.

"Don't - do - anything - stupid."

I'm not.

Aderrian hung up the phone and finished packing a few outfits and various things - gifts for Keurin such as postcards, sweets, and a Zippo lighter - into his suitcase. He stuffed his cell into his pocket and scowled at the mirror before him, his teeth bared, his brow furrowed almost to the point of splitting his scalp in half. His hands were balled into tight fists and he shook violently. The image of Marc burned in the forefront of his mind, like someone had pushed a dagger between his eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about Keurin, if the dragon had fallen just one second earlier, or if Troy hadn't been there.

"Marc... you little bastard, you've done fucked up royally, now."

He zipped his bag angrily and dropped it next to the door and waited for dawn to come.