Sonic and the Deliberate Mary Sue 1

Story by Palantean Writer on SoFurry

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Princess Sally Acorn wonders where her place in the Knothole Freedom Fighters really is. But when a 'beautiful' and 'mysterious' stranger arrives, she finds her position challenged far more than she'd expected...

A Mary Sue parody with an actual storyline.

Chapter 6 will be uploaded around a week after this one.

DISCLAIMER: "Sonic the Hedgehog" and most other characters and situations in the following story are copyrighted trademarks of Sega Incorporated, Archie Comics and/or DIC Productions. I have made no profit from this work.

Starla Brighteyes © Hayley Deakin.

Bookshire Draftwood © David Pistone.


As they walked along, Antoine looked over at Starla. He had noted with great interest at first that she was armed with daggers. He'd been trained to sword-fight as a pup and, although he found little or no practical use for this skill as a Freedom Fighter, he still felt pride in his ability. It was his heritage, and one day he hoped to pass the knowledge on to his son. He assumed he'd have one, of course. His very first inkling on seeing Starla's weaponry was that they'd have something in common.

But he had only been interested in Starla's armoury at first. Even as she had spoken with Sally on arriving at Knothole Antoine had been vaguely aware that the hybrid didn't hold her arm in such a way as to be ready to draw a weapon; she didn't have reflexes quite as sharp as he would expect. He had been happy to ignore that at first: perhaps she was tired? After hearing from Bunnie about Starla's behaviour yesterday however, he was less than keen to make excuses for her. In fact, the more he learned about her, the less convinced he was that she was a skilled warrior. It didn't fit with what he observed. So as he walked side by side with his comrades in the almost-darkness he frowned, thinking he should tell somebody.

The princess. She was the leader. And his future queen. He had to share his intelligence with her.

"Ah - princess?" he called out suddenly.

She looked around at him. "Yes, Antoine?"

He caught up with her in a slightly furtive way. "I must to be speaking to you now," he said. She nodded slightly and kept looking at him. She didn't seem to understand the secrecy he needed and he tugged her elbow. She appeared surprised for a moment, then looked at the others briefly and fell back with him.

"What is it?" she whispered confidentially.

As they walked along he explained as best he could his concerns. Sally occasionally glanced at Starla, who appeared to be trying to look authoritative and matching Sonic pace for pace, and was unaware that Sally and Antoine had fallen back at all.

When Antoine had finished explaining his thoughts, Sally became quiet. She looked pensive and gazed into nowhere as if thinking his words over. Then she gave him a final brief nod and caught up with the others. He followed.

xXx

At the head of the group, Starla marched with Sonic at her side. She could have flown - and she liked to fly - but she wanted to be near to Sonic. After all, the more he looked at her the more enraptured he'd be. And she wanted Sally to see the pair of them united, marching together. Nobody spoke; she assumed they were all keen to make an impression on her and look efficient. She could understand why they would do that. Even Sonic kept his gaze straight ahead without looking at her. He looked so intense. It gave her shivers just looking at him.

Everything was quiet. Everyone's so stressed out! She thought. So she decided to help everyone chill out and began to hum, soothing them and raising their spirits with a pretty tune. Out of the corner of her eye, Sonic looked in her direction. She felt so proud!

She looked back to check on Rotor; he had been looking at her and snapped his gaze ahead. She saw an opportunity for a fun game and continued to hum, looking at his face and trying to get him to make eye contact with him. He frowned; he looked at the ground in front of him; he sighed. She hummed louder, her eyes still on him. He'd look at her if she tried hard enough...

He blushed and began to drag his feet. Ha! She thought. She was just considering starting to sing, when Sonic called from ahead: "Starla! Knock it off!"

"Why should I?" she shot back, suddenly feeling very defensive and annoyed.

"You'll get us caught!" Sonic insisted and looked forward again. Who do you think you are?! Disgusted by his attitude, Starla hung back a little. She didn't want to walk with him any more when she could have far more fun with the others. She flicked her wings and kept pace with Rotor instead.

xXx

Bunnie stole a glance at Rotor as the team walked along. He kept his eyes fixed resolutely on the ground. His expression was one of defeat. His shoulders slumped. He looked, in short, miserable. Bunnie desperately wanted to reach out to him, but it was crystal clear that that would embarrass him even more.

So instead she looked past him, at Starla: she, in contrast, looked sneeringly pleased with herself. She held her head and ears high, with a twisted grin. She looked at the walrus again and opened her mouth to say something to him, when something snapped in Bunnie and she blew.

"Don't you dare say a thing, Starla!" she erupted, pointing a finger hard at the hybrid's face. She panted angrily through clenched teeth. She'd had enough of Starla's pathetic games and she was perfectly happy to ride out her anger like this. The pink female looked taken aback at first, and at a loss for what to say. Her eyes were wide and surprised; her jaw hung in shock. Then her freaky blue jelly-eyes hardened and she replied:

"Why don't you shut up, bitch? I can say whatever I want!" And with that, the pair faced each other square and released a tirade at one-another, each ranting and not listening to a word the other was saying:

"Ah've just about had enough of y'all and your stuck-up jaw'in and ah'll tell you one thing for nothin': you ain't as special as you think you are and ah'm sick of hearin' ya pick on other people who don't deserve-"

"Who do you think you're talking to? Do you think I'm going to listen to anything that comes out of your mouth, you little jerkwad? You've got a stupid accent and you couldn't say anything that made sense if I gave you a million dollars! Why don't you get a life you cripple-"

It had happened before Bunnie knew she'd done it: Starla stood a couple of feet away, nursing her jaw as if she'd been hit. Bunnie groggily became aware that she was holding her living hand up in front of her, hooked from the lightening-fast punch. She looked, panting, from her hand back to the hybrid, surprise turning to righteous indignation.

"Don'cha ever call me a cripple again," she said finally. Starla looked as if she was about to retort something when Sonic stepped in between the two of them, his arms outstretched to keep the pair apart.

"That's enough!" he ordered. "We've got stuff to do." Bunnie and Starla threw each other a disdainful glare before turning to walk on. Her heart still thumping, Bunnie looked studiously ahead, determined that the confrontation was over and that there would be no further need to argue. And feeling not a little shocked at her own temper.

xXx

Rotor fell in alongside the others as they continued walking, but a flash of bright pink in the corner of his eye compelled him to look over at Starla. She looked irritable and eyed him up and down.

"What are you looking at?" came the unfriendly snarl. Spurred by Bunnie's attack, he kept his eyes locked on to hers. His heart rate accelerated from stress but he didn't look away.

But then he had to say something, didn't he? Damn, he thought as the inspiration left him.

"Nuthin'," he wobbled in an angry retort. She sneered and thundered on, staring angrily ahead.

Rotor was about to berate himself for not coming up with a better comeback, but then he thought again: "What are you looking at?", she'd said. And his reply? Nothing. He grinned, suddenly pleased. Yeah, that's right, Starla. I wasn't looking at anything: I was looking at you!

xXx

Starla gritted her teeth as she stalked along beside the others. Her jaw still rang out from Bunnie's surprisingly hard punch, and she slowly unclenched her jaw. It hurt to do that. That was Bunnie's fault!

Why was everybody against her? She couldn't understand it. Rotor sounded stupid: what was wrong with laughing at him? He should think it was funny, too. Where was everybody's sense of humour? And she couldn't believe that Sonic had taken Bunnie's side. Bunnie had just hit her! As far as Starla was concerned, that made her wrong. Dead wrong.

Even that gay French guy kept doing that thing, not looking at her as if that was the politest thing to do.

She flicked a glance at Sally. Starla didn't like Sally: she thought she was so much better than everybody else, and that made Starla angry. Why did Sonic like her? There was nothing to like! She sneered at the squirrel, hoping the little bitch could feel the hatred and just wither and die.

At that moment, Sonic looked around at her, and the hedgehog's expression snapped from terse curiosity to anger. A moment later, apparently sensing the animosity in the air, Sally looked at Starla, too.

"What are you look-" Starla started, when Sonic cut her off.

"Grow up, Starla," he snapped.

Starla could hardly believe her ears: he was supposed to be attracted to her. That was what she'd expected. He was supposed to like her and forget all about that self-important whore of a princess. But the look on his face said it all: I don't like you! And Starla believed there and then that that wasn't going to change. She had to get away from there, and now.

"Fine!" she announced, spreading her wings. "See how you all do without me!" And without waiting for them to beg her to stay - that would teach them! - she beat her wings and lifted clear of the floor. Spiralling to catch the wind, she threw one last angry glance at Sally and soared off, pulling her tummy in and hoping Sonic would see how lithe and sexy she was, and understand what he was missing. Maybe once they'd felt enough remorse she'd come back.

xXx

The Freedom Fighters watched the bright pink hybrid disappear in silence. The group relaxed tangibly as the distance grew between her and them. Finally Sonic muttered, "Good riddance," and turned to lead the others further on. Sally took in a breath and said quietly:

"Sonic, don't you think we should watch out for her?"

"What for?" he asked earnestly, palms up. He didn't want anything more to do with Starla: she'd been aggressively flirty with him, humiliated his friend, insulted Bunnie... "She thinks she can do okay on her own, so let her try it."

"Sonic," Sally explained, trying to be patient, "She's not as experienced as she thinks she is."

Sonic looked unsympathetic. Sally paused for a moment to share a glance with Antoine and then continued. "Think about it," she said. "She says she's a fighter in some other dimension with technology roughly equal to ours. So what does she need daggers for?"

That stopped Sonic's retaliation before it left his mouth: he hadn't thought of that. Now, with Sally asking him the question, he was forced to wonder the same himself. "Well, uh..."

"She's so busy fighting us guys, she's not even focussed on getting to Robotnik. She hasn't asked where we're going, or what we'll do when we get there. How many hours do we spend planning these things, Sonic? She thinks she can breeze in there and beat him without even trying! Does that sound like an experienced Freedom Fighter to you?"

Sonic had to admit that it didn't. "Uh, no-"

"And what kind of fighter is fluorescent pink, for gosh sakes?" Sally added flippantly, aware that maybe she sounded bitchy saying it, but by now she was in full swing and just at that moment, the fact that it felt damn good to say it outweighed her sense of duty. But she felt a clench of guilt immediately after and tried to backtrack. "How can she hide from anybody?" she added as justification, suddenly realising the list of reasons Starla couldn't fight was even longer than she'd first thought. At least three other reasons jostled in her head but she decided against mentioning them, at least for now.

The hedgehog looked reluctantly convinced and sighed. "Alright, Sal," he said, sounding weary. He cast a look over his shoulder in the direction of the SWATbot factory where they had been headed, and then seemed to decide that that particular mission was aborted. He looked up ahead at the still-visible form of Starla stroking the air with her broad wings. He began to walk impatiently in that direction. "Let's do it," he said grimly.

xXx

Snively stared goggle-eyed at the surveillance screen: an animal was flying brazenly above the streets. This in itself wasn't as surprising as her colour and shape.

Since when was any Mobian bright pink? And he had no idea what species she was.

He reached over to the button that would open up a communication line between himself and Robotnik. He pressed it and waited. The doctor's face appeared.

"What is it, Snively?" Robotnik's greeting suggested that Snively might be wasting his time. Snively hated the implication - he worked more hours than even Robotnik seemed aware of, but at the same time he was too afraid of his uncle to retort.

"Sir, we have an intruder. I think you should take a look." and with that, he tapped another button to send the surveillance footage to Robotnik's screen. He sat back and clenched his fists nervously, waiting for Robotnik's verdict. The dictator appeared back on-screen.

"Capture it. I wish to speak to it," he said, as if just by giving the order it was already done. Snively was always impressed by his dictator's ability to assert his contempt and noted Julian's use of the pronoun 'it' for the undeniably female trespasser as an excellent example.

Snively had been hoping that Robotnik had a better idea than he about what the beast was, but if he did he was not letting on. Obediently he turned to another communication portal to speak to the Hoverbot squadron.

"Intruder alert, over Sector Thirty-Two. Capture it." he commanded briskly, savouring the rich taste of condescension as he said it. That done, he switched back to the surveillance camera and watched the weird creature fly onwards, directly into the path of the oncoming ambush squad.

Why on Mobius does she have daggers? he wondered silently.

xXx

Sally looked around at the others and weighed up the state of the group. They'd all relaxed quite a lot, that much was clear. The intense feeling of mutual dislike that had flickered between them like electricity during Starla's presence had faded to a background irritation at the disruption of their mission. Sonic was clearly resigned to the task of rescuing Starla and led them briskly, unwilling to waste any more time than was necessary. If they got Starla back quickly they might not even have to abort the original mission. Rotor held his head and shoulders more confidently. Antoine looked mildly thoughtful. Sally thought Bunnie was still holding on to some of her anger: the rabbit kept looking at the retreating pink shape in the sky ahead of them. As the Freedom Fighters walked together, Sally sidled over to her.

"Hey. You okay?" she asked.

"Fahne," the rabbit shrugged tightly. Her robotic arm ground quietly with the movement. Then she relented a little and cast Sally a quick glance. "Yeah, Ah'm fahne, Sally-girl," she said more warmly. She looked ahead again. "Got her nose up her own hootchie, don'cha think?"

Good old Bunnie, Sally thought cheerfully. When Sally felt under pressure to be the professional, unbiased royal, Bunnie could always be relied on to speak her mind. And to speak Sally's mind too, unerringly. Despite the tension, she couldn't help but giggle lightly.

Bunnie looked pleased by Sally's laughter and started to say something else when Antoine interrupted her.

"Sacre bleu!" The coyote blurted and pointed up into the sky ahead of them. "Starla, she iz to be cat-napped!"

Everybody looked. As the team watched, Starla was surrounded by a team of Hoverbots. She stalled in the air, beating her wings frantically to keep airbourne. She span around, looking at the robots now suspended in a ring around her. As she turned her back, one of them darted a weighted net over her and captured her neatly. She struck out with arms and wings, but it was no use: she was caught. A string between the net and the Hoverbot kept her from falling too far, and the robot fleet turned back the way they'd come, their living cargo still struggling inside the net.