Too Safe
#1 of Abnormal
I am going to do a short introductory, then start the actual story, hopefully in third person-limited, I'm trying to do so. I am with out a computer so I have to use my phone and it wont let me do paragraphs and stuff like that so it will seem bulky :/. I am a beginner writer and feedback or any tips would be nice. Note this is purely fiction, no actual events are portrayed in this story.
( Jamie Reed was a dark brown fox, stationed as a corporal at an army outpost in Samarra, Iraq. Samarra was usually a quiet place with little conflict or strife. Reed was tasked with watching over the market with a few other soldiers. The Iraqis accepted them as part of their everyday life and openly communicated with the soldiers. When Reed had free time, he would play sports and other games with the Iraqi children. One day, a truck full of supplies arrived at the market and Reed was tasked to watch over the shipment. And thus the story begins.) "Yo, Jamie," Called Tex, a Pitbull, as he watched the supply truck approach. Jamie shook himself, shaking away his drowsiness, "What?" Jamie replied. "Why do you think we have to be here? The Iraqi ain't gonna cause any problems." Jamie stood up straight as the truck pulled up a block away from them, "You never know what might happen, Tex." The passenger door opened up and a light brown meerkat hopped out and moved to the back of the truck. "Hey," the meerkat Shouted to Jamie and Tex, "Can Someone help me, these boxes are heavy." Tex walked over to the truck, "Alright, I got this." The meerkat popped open the back of the truck and Tex peered inside, "Hey there ain't shit in..." Tex started to say, but then the truck exploded. Chaos ensued afterwards, debris went flying, people starting running about, other soldiers started rushing to the area, and fires were breaking out. Jamie rushed over to the now destroyed truck, dodging debris and fire, only to find Tex was dead. Jamie crouched down by his deceased comrade and started radioing for help. Jamie's mind was a blur as he attempted to direct the citizens, when a voice shouted out in desperation. "Help...!" Jamie rushed towards the shout to find Omar, one of the kids he played with, stuck under some debris. "Oh god..." Jamie mumbled as he tried to free Omar, who was crying nonstop. "Don't worry, you'll be find." Jamie said to him as he pulled him out of the debris. Jamie picked Omar up in his arm,assuring him he would be fine, as he moved with Omar out of the wreckage. "Oh shit!" yelled Jamie, when he saw the fire spreading towards a gas pipe. Jamie duck behind a fruit stand covering Omar with his body, as the pipe exploded. Jamie prayed to whatever being was watching him now, as a fierce pain shot up his leg to his knee and he blacked out.