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Go Limp.

I did, relaxing my body despite every urge to curl up into a tight protective ball.

I could hear his screams mixed with mine and felt the unrelenting burning of his hand around my wrist. We fell and fell and fell, thinner branches snapping around us while the thicker ones painfully slowed us down. The abundance of them was great on the way up. They sucked on the way down.

The Wolf lost his grip on me when a branch came between us and threatened to yank our arms out of their respective sockets. Then he somehow managed to quickly find it again, right in the exact same bare spot. At least my hair had been freed.

It was me who got the first chance to save us. My body crashed right against a thick branch and I clung to it with every available limb, tail included. We actually stopped falling for a second before the weight became too much for me and gravity pried me from it. But the pause had allowed the Wolf to reorient himself, and we only fell a few more feet before he managed to grab a branch of his own with his free arm and one of his legs. And he was stronger so he was actually able to hold both of us up while I dangled uselessly in the air.

He was shouting at me, and I realized I had been trying to wriggle my arm free from his grasp. I stopped, trying to suppress the feeling of my arm being swallowed by fire, but instead of letting him try to pull me up I used my free arm to grab onto a different branch. When I got a good hold I tried to pull my other arm out of his hand, but for some reason he resisted for a moment, and I actually had to yell at him to let go.

He squeezed harder, but when he heard me cry out his grip went loose, and I pulled out of it. I heard him start to apologize, but I was already climbing back down. My eyes stung with tears from the persistent burning, and my whole body ached. When I got to the bottom I looked around and realized I was not near any of the bodies of water in the park, or even a drinking fountain.

But I needed something now.

So I kneeled down and dug frantically through the grass. The sun had been coming and going, and just as I had hoped the ground was relatively cold. I pulled back my sleeve, grabbed a handful of the cold earth and bits of grass and rubbed it into the fur of my wrists. It was a trick I had learned from my mother when I was really small and I had slightly burned my finger on a hot metal drinking fountain that didn't work. She took me to the shadow of a tree and pulled some dirt from the ground to rub against my burning skin. It felt nice and cool and, I believed, made the pain go away faster. Right now though it only took the edge off the burning, but I was willing to take what I could get.

I heard a thud as the Wolf reached the ground, and in just a moment he was squatting down next to me. "Are you okay?" he asked urgently.

I shook my head, indicating my arm. "It burns."

"Hold on." He stood up and hurried to grab something off the floor. When he came back he handed me a water bottle.

This is the part where he is calm and collected, his strength and courage undaunted by the brush with death.

This is the part when I noticed how much his hand was shaking.

As I took the bottle from him I saw that my hand was shaking too. I opened it and started pouring the water onto my arm. It wasn't much colder than the dirt, and there wasn't a lot left in the bottle to start with, but even the minimal effect it had was a relief. I let out a shaky breath.

An image came to mind of the Wolf putting his lips on the very opening that the liquid was pouring out from, and the water starting stinging a little as it touched my fur. But it was the kind of stinging you get from putting medicine on injuries so I didn't mind it. It wasn't a real burn anyway, and comparing it to medicine made me think it was feeling better.

When the water ran out I leaned back against the tree, panting and letting myself feel the relief of being back on the ground. My arm was still tingling, and my body was a horrible symphony of aches and pains, but I was finally down from that tree.

Then I remembered my stitches.

In a panic I sat up and looked down my shirt, shoving my hand underneath and feeling around along the healing flesh. I lost the feeling in my legs for a moment when I felt a wet spot.

"Are you alright?"

I jumped, having forgotten about the Wolf completely for a second. My hand thudded hard against my collar bone as I covered myself up again, terrified he'd seen. But his face didn't look shocked, or horrified, or disgusted, so I guessed he hadn't.

"Y-Yeah," I said, voice shaking. "I think so."

He let out a breath and sat down beside me, and I was reminded that he was wearing a black, tight, sleeveless and aptly named muscle shirt that I now noticed was drenched in sweat. But I still didn't pay that any mind. Or the way his chest rose and fell harshly as he tried to catch his breath. Or the way my scars burned underneath my shirt, reminding me what I looked like.

I tried to discreetly feel under my shirt again. The wet spot was still there, but it was really small, and there was only a tiny splotch of blood on my finger when I checked it. A minor injury, one that I definitely didn't need to see a doctor about. At least_I_ didn't think so. It looked like once again I survived a brush with death with only minimal damage. Except for all the cuts and scraps and inevitable bruising.

"Is it okay?" the Wolf asked, making me jump again. But he was indicating my arm.

"O-Oh. Yeah. Um...there's nothing wrong with it," I replied, not really wanting to lie, though I couldn't for the life of me understand why.

"Oh," he said, probably thinking I meant whatever it was wasn't a big deal. "That's good."

After that we were quiet for a long while, letting our nerves settle and our bodies assess the damage. My body hurt, but as far as I could tell nothing was seriously damaged. Even my stitches were mostly okay.

A thick bitterness rose up in my throat. But this really could have gone bad. It could have ended so much worse than even my stitches opening up. And this time I actually almost got someone else killed too.

From the corner of my eye I glanced at the Wolf. Aside from his harsh breathing, he didn't seem too badly banged up either. Thank goodness for that. Why had he even bothered climbing up that tree?

This is the part where I feel him take my hand in his. When I look over at him he smiles. "So, since I rescued you from your tower..."

This is that part where we are both too tired and shaken, so we just keep sitting quietly next to each other. It wasn't really awkward, but comfortable didn't seem like the right word either. I couldn't bring myself to look directly at him, yet I was acutely aware of his presence beside me; his grey fur and lighter grey underside fur, the way his dark, not quite bushy hair almost but didn't quite reach his eyes, his tired, slightly elevated breathing and the rise and fall of his upper body, the smell of deodorant through his natural musk, the excessive amount of sweat that couldn't have come from just climbing the tree, the just barely inch of space between my right arm and his left arm, and the fact that his head was slightly tilted toward me, indicating where his attention was focused despite his eyes being closed. That last observation circled around and around in my head as it tried to find a reason for it. At one point I thought he had fallen asleep, but then he opened his eyes and blew out a big puff of air, the first noise either of us had made for a good while.

I wanted to say something to the Wolf so, to my great surprise, I did.

"Why do you have a lot of sweat?" I asked without looking at him. Which was good because there was no way I'd be able to look at him afterwards. Why do you have a lot of sweat? I should have broken my jaw falling down that tree.

From the corner of my eye I saw him glance over at me, seeming surprised by my question, but not bothered by it. "I was running before I ran into you." Then he laughed a little self-consciously and looked over at me, but I couldn't look back. "Sorry, is the smell bothering you?"

"No. I l-" Holy freakin' crudge I almost said I like it. Think before you speak damn it. "Uh, it's not...a thing. An issue I mean. It doesn't bother me." Nice work Shakespeare. "I mean, you don't really smell."

"Cool," he said. Then he rested his head against the trunk of the tree again and closed his eyes. After a few seconds I finally let myself look over at him. I could just make out his thick black eyebrows under his hair, and I had to fight a strong urge to reach out and brush his hair out of the way to get a better look. Or maybe that would have just been an excuse to touch him, but that was a bad idea anyway. It was always easier to touch than to be touched, but after how much physical contact with him had hurt before, I couldn't image that touching would be any less painful. I don't think he'd really appreciate it either. But there were a few bits of sticks in his hair, was that a better excuse?

Wait a minute, why the hell was I even thinking about touching him? I mean, sure he's attractive but-

Suddenly his eyes opened. I looked away quickly, probably making it obvious that I had been staring. He just kept looking at me for a bit before breaking the silence once again. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," I muttered. I must have looked pretty horrible. There were most likely numerous twigs in my hair, tangling it and making it stick up every which way, and my eyes were probably still red from tearing up at the pain. I rubbed at my wrist, remembering how much it had hurt. I had barely even noticed that I was falling when he grabbed it.

"Sorry," said the Wolf, pulling me out of my recollection.

"Huh?" I looked at him confused, but just for a moment before looking instead at his slightly drawn up knees. "For what?"

"Your arm," he answered. I looked back at it, for a split second expecting to find that my arm really had blistered and burned, but he was just referring to how I was still rubbing at it. "Um, sorry if I was squeezing it too hard or twisted it or something. Just...didn't want you to fall you know?"

"Oh, no it wasn't...I mean you didn't do anything wrong."

"Oh. Just, uh, 'cause you know, you seemed like you were trying to make me drop you...when we were hanging from that branch. And then when you yelled..."

"Um..." That was because the fall had caused me to panic. That was because I hadn't realized you had caught me. These are what I would have said to anyone else, and by all accounts should have said to him. I should have lied. But I looked him in the eye again and I forgot to. "...I have a...a thing. Um...I can't really, um..." I looked away again, this time at his shoes. It was really hard to breathe when he looked at me like that. "...When people try to touch me it...it hurts. Sometimes...sometimes a lot." There, I didn't lie, and I didn't know why.

This is the part where the Wolf is completely undaunted by my confession. He lifts his hand up, palm open, fingers splayed. "Maybe...you just need to practice. Take it slow." He smiles at me and it's warm and inviting. I lift my hand up like his and he brings our hands together. First just the tips of our middle fingers, then the rest follow after. It stings but it's not too bad. It's not until he starts to bringing the length our fingers together that I have to pull away. But he just laughs good-naturedly and we try again, over and over, getting a little closer each time. Finally our palms are completely pressed against each other. Instead of burning heat, I feel comforting warmth...

This is the part where he seems completely affected by my confession. "Oh!" he says before instantly scooting away from me, suddenly very aware of how close we are. And I know it's stupid but when he does my right side goes completely cold. "Sorry, I didn't me-"

"No," I interrupted loudly, almost pleadingly. "Don't. Don't apologize." Oh. I guess I was pleading. Something about Sunshine Eyes really affected my ability to speak. It was much easier talking to him in the tree, with a good few branches between us. "Just, people apologize to me all the time. It...really wears on me sometimes."

"Oh, sorry. Er, not sorry," he laughed, trying to make a joke of it. But he didn't move any closer. If the silence wasn't awkward before, it was painfully so now. I should have been the one to say something next, but I couldn't think of a single thing. So instead we just sat there in that horrible part of a conversation where two people who don't really know each other are at a loss of what to say and are searching frantically in their heads for absolutely anything to talk about. And the best part is that neither of us seemed able to come up with anything for a few actual minutes. Instead he just rested his head against the tree again while I contemplated whether or not falling to my death would have been less painful.

He should have left by now, excused himself after making sure I was okay and getting on with his life. I should have tried to leave by now too. I had no problem getting away from him last time, though I guess his threats to take me to a doctor might have contributed some. And Max was there so- Max! I did have an excuse to leave! I opened my mouth to finally break the silence, but the Wolf beat me to it.

"Do you..." He stopped, and when he didn't continue I looked carefully over at him. He looked back, piercing me with his eyes for a moment before looking away quickly, almost shyly? "Um, do you want to go get water with me?" he asked.

The question caught me off guard "Huh?"

He stood up, groaning with the effort before elaborating a bit more "...'Cause I was running. And I don't really have anymore water." Because he had given it all to me. But why was he asking me to come along? Normally I would have declined, but he had a look on his face as he waited for my response that I could only describe as hopeful.

"Okay," I heard myself say from far away. Okay?!...

...Okay. I mean, it was my fault he didn't have any water, so who was I to deny him company if he wanted it? I probably had plenty of time before Max came anyway.

He held out his hand for me and this is the part when I take it and he lifts me up and either because he pulls just a little too hard or I stumble, we wind up nose to nose with my free hand on his chest to steady myself. Both our faces go bright red as we step back from each other, and then we realize we are still holding hands and quickly let go, mumbling apologies though neither of us is really sorry...

This is the part where I take it without thinking, forgetting everything that's wrong with me. The effect is instantaneous. He lets go after he hears my yelp of pain, having lifted me up just enough for me to fall back down and hit my head against the tree.

"Shit shit shit I'm so sorry!"

He crouches down, arms reaching out to help before he stops himself, leaving them to hover over me. The irony almost makes me laugh, the way he positioned himself. Like I was the giant ball of fire. In a romantic comedy the whole thing might have been funny. In real life it just made me feel like a freak. "I'm really really sorry, I forgot and I..."

"No, no it's fine really," I said, trying really hard to pretend my hand wasn't searing. "I mean, I forget too sometimes...obviously." He let out a little laugh and smiled, one that probably would have made me forget all over again. "Anyways," I added, "I've had worse falls today." He smiled wider at my joke and I manage a little laugh of my own. But then his stare lingered too long and I had to pick myself up to escape it. Everything felt sore. "Oow, so um, lets go?"

"Right," he agreed, getting up and shaking his head slightly. "Ah. Yeah."

He led the way and I fell into step beside him. He moved just a bit away from me, subtly, hoping I wouldn't notice. I tried to act like I didn't, telling myself he was just trying to be considerate. The sun shined as we walked with slight limps, and from the corner of my eye something poked its head out of a nearby bush to stare at us before scampering off to try and lead someone else to disaster.

"So..." he began, drawing my attention away from the bush, "...what were you doing that high up in a tree anyway?" It was an obvious question, and if I hadn't been distracted I would have already come up with an answer. But I had nothing, and the Wolf's focus on me wasn't going to let me lie without making it obvious. He would just have to settle for a watered down version of the truth then.

"I was..." Now that I think of it though, was it even possible to water it down enough so I wouldn't seem crazy? "I was following an animal. And it led me to the tree."

"You were following an animal up the tree?" he asked. His voice sounded oddly disapproving, which to me seemed like a strange tone of voice to use with someone he just met, especially since we were probably around the same age.

"Well, no. The animal just led me to the tree."

"Okay. So then why did you climb up the tree?" he asked again.

"'Cause..." If he would just stop staring at me I could come up with a decent lie. "Because I had to."

"You had to?"

"I mean, not that I actually had to. I just, felt like I needed to?"

The Wolf laughed, though it was missing some of its humor. "So, what, do you get a kick out of putting yourself in danger?"

He was just concerned for you, I told myself. But damn it there was something about him. Something about hearing him say what people who cared about me have been saying all my life that really got to me.

"I don't do it on purpose..." I replied meekly, definitely showing more hurt than I would have liked.

My tone of voice seemed to affect him, and we were silent for a moment before he finally spoke up again. "Sorry." he said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

I just shook my head and made a noise to let him know I wasn't upset with him. To change the subject, and to avoid another awkward silence I opted to ask him a question next. "Do you run at this park a lot?"

"I used to," he replied, happy for the change of subject as well. "I used to live here when I was younger. I'd run sometimes, not that often though. Lifting weights and doing pushups seemed more practical to me back then," he laughed. The sun that had been shining was yet again obscured by a cloud, the grey tint it cast matching the Wolf's fur. "I started running when I first left for college. It became a great way to just sort of relax and get some time to myself, you know?" I already had way too much time to myself as it was, but I didn't say anything about that. "Plus, around someone with your lucky streak, you never know when you're going to need to be able to run your life," he said, trying to make light of his earlier remark. That actually seemed to me like a pretty good point. I started considering taking up running myself.

"So you're back for spring break or something?" I asked.

"Yeah. My family still lives in town so I came back to visit." He was lucky. My school didn't even have a spring break.

"But wait, weren't you already here last week?"

"Yeah, my spring break's two weeks long."

"Oh." Wow my school sucked. "That's cool. What school do you go to?"

"Dawnlore University."

Dawnlore. That was one of my top picks for schools to transfer to in the fall. I had applied to a few, but I was still waiting to hear back from most of them.

"That's pretty far, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah, almost a whole day's trip upstate." Then he indicated a water fountain further ahead and we made our way to it. "What about you? Where do you go to school?"

"North Dreme. It's a community college in the next city over. I'm transferring out for the fall though."

"Yeah? Where to?"

"I'm not sure," I answered as we reached the fountain. "Still waiting to hear back from a few of them."

"Cool." He leaned down slowly while pushing the button for the water, taking giant gulps to quench his thirst before continuing. "If it's not too late you should apply to Dawnlore. It's a really cool campus." He splashed some water onto his face despite the cold air. "There's a lot of trees and hiking trails and stuff. It's like going to school in a forest." A few drops trickled down the ends of his fur past his neck to his partially exposed upper chest, while even more stayed in place, sparkling in the newly freed rays of sunlight that hit his face at an angle, especially on his eyelashes and the tips of his hair. Based on the description the whole image seemed pretty breath taking...The school I mean. The school sounded pretty breath taking.

"Actually, I did apply to it already," I told him without staring because there was absolutely no reason to be staring excessively at him at that particular moment. The sun was really shining beautifully on the park as a whole though.

"Awesome," he replied calmly despite his tail suddenly wagging behind him. Don't get so excited, I told myself, he's just enthusiastic about you getting into a good school. But then he seemed to notice it and made it stop. "Have you heard back from them yet?" He continued in an even more subdued tone then before.

"Not yet," I replied, trying to keep my grin modest.

"Well, if you do get in...you've already got a friend waiting for you." My smile became a little less modest, and upon seeing this he got one that was even less so than mine. Then we were just two idiots with stupid smiles stuck to our faces, both of us trying to keep our grins in check. We both must have realized then that we were staring at each other, because at the same time we both looked away.

"You should probably fill your water bottle up too," I remind him, trying to regain some composure. He looked down at the forgotten container in his hand before agreeing.

"Oh, yeah. Right." His tone was slightly flustered, though I couldn't imagine why. "Do you want some?" he asked, offering me the bottle after it was filled.

"No, save it," I told him quickly, mostly to avoid even letting myself consider whether or not I wanted to risk burning my lips. Then to deter any possible insistence, and so I could finally stop just standing there like a happy halfwit, I leaned over and took a few swallows of water myself, even though bending was more of a painful endeavor than I would have liked. As usual when I drank from a drinking fountain, some of my hair caught the water my mouth didn't, not that I really minded much.

When I straightened back up and looked over at the Wolf, I saw his hand retracting from my general direction and quickly falling to his side. Had he been reaching for me? I wasn't sure, but when I looked at his face I noticed his frozen expression. It was that of a deer caught in the headlights pretending it wasn't, like the face you see on someone when you almost catch them doing something there not supposed to and they try to cover it up by saying the quickest thing they can think of. He opened his mouth to speak but I was quicker.

"What time it?" I asked, hoping I was doing a better job of keeping a straight face than he was. He seemed like he was absolutely certain I had seen something, yet hoping against hope that I hadn't. "Do you know?" I pressed on.

"Uh..." he muttered, sounding oddly confused on top of everything else. He reached into his long running shorts and pulled out a phone from deep within his pocket. "It's 6:21."

Well, this would probably just get awkward later. Best to end it now. "I'm supposed to meet my friend at the parking lot," I reminded him.

For now it seemed he was content to carry on as if I really hadn't noticed anything. "Heh, I was kind of hoping you'd forgotten about that." He wasn't exactly headed in the right direction though. What was I supposed to say to that? And why was I slightly thrilled by it?

He suddenly realized the implications of what he just said and we both just kind of stood there awkwardly for a while. He mumbled an apology, but I just shook my head and gave him a half formed smiled. He half-smiled back.

"Are you going to keep running?" I started, not entirely sure where I was going with it.

"Um...no. I think I'm done for today...with running. Maybe go do something else now."

"Out of the park?" I asked, getting braver.

"Yeah, or...maybe. I don't know yet," he answered, eyes fixed on me. It was still impossible for me to look at him when he focused on me like that. A part of me really wished he would stop staring at me so intensely. Not all of me though.

"Do you want to walk to the parking lot with me then? Since you're leaving?" It was a perfectly reasonable suggestion, since we were both leaving and we seemed to be getting along fine. But for some reason asking made me nervous, and more than just my regular social-anxiety type nervousness. The list of weird effects Sunshine Eyes had on me was still growing.

This is the part where he accepts with a simple "Alright," his voice calm and cool as he lets out a smile, utterly charming, but with a slight predatory quality.

This is the part where his face brightens up, and his tail starts wagging a bit again. "Yeah, that'd be...nice." Maybe I imagine it, but when he says "nice" it sounds like he means it as an understatement. The smile he gives me is modestly eager and invitingly friendly, and another little thrill runs through me. Then we're stuck smiling at each other again for a second before we start walking toward the parking lot.

"So...what are you and your friend doing," he asked as soon as we started moving.

"We're going to go see a movie," I answered, trying to control the excitement running through me.

"Cool, um, what movie?"

"Um," I still couldn't remember what movie we were supposed to watch, "I don't remember actually," I told him honestly. I hoped he didn't think I was lying about the whole thing.

"You don't remember?" he repeated uncertainly.

"Yeah." Darn it. I should have just made something up. "I have some trouble remembering things sometimes."

I was worried that he didn't really believe me, but if he thought I was lying he chose not to say anything. "No big deal. Uh, do you remember what kind of movie it was?" he said, trying to help me out.

I blew a puff of air from my lungs as I thought. "Mmm no. Probably an action movie since my friend was excited about it....What time is it now?" I asked, trying to lead us away from the subject of my poor memory.

He took his phone from his pocket again. "6:23." he answered, letting the topic drop.

"Okay." I responded.

"Yeah..." We walked for a moment in silence before he began again. "So, is it just you and your friend? Or, some other people too?"

I had an idea of what he might mean, but I knew that couldn't be it. "It's me, my best friend Max, his girlfriend Cynthia, and our other friend Sam."

"Oh...Sam?" he repeated, sounding unsure.

"Yeah Sam, why?" I asked, noticing that Samantha's nickname was unisex.

"Um, is Sam your...date?"

My heart gave a little spasm, though it really shouldn't have. "No, she's just my friend."

He nodded. "So...your date couldn't make it?" What was with these questions, did he really not know all the things he could be insinuating by asking them?

"Nope, no significant other to speak of." Did Joseph count? I looked over at the Wolf and saw how pleased he seemed by my answer. Well, giving someone your number wasn't exactly a marriage proposal, right? "Just me." I added, looking away while really hoping this didn't make me a bad person. If it were anyone else I don't know if I would have done it, but this damn Wolf was really getting to me, if even I didn't know what that meant exactly.

"Cool," he answered. I was really starting to like his word choices. He seemed a bit agitated by them though. "Uhh, I mean-...So did you have school today?" he asked, changing the subject again.

"Yeah," I answered, not minding the change.

"What are you studying for?" he asked.

"I'm going to try to get into archaeology."

"Oh yeah? Awesome," he said, sounding sincerely interested.

"Yeah, I took an introductory course and it was really cool. It was like, history teaches you the story, but archaeology is like, the before story you know?" I suddenly realized how weird that probably sounded, but the Wolf showed no signs of minding.

"Cool, so you're really into it?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think I could be happy learning about it forever." I hoped I didn't sound too nerdy or cheesy or something, but he just looked happy for my enthusiasm.

"Nice," he nodded in approval. "So the pyramids, that was Aliens right?"

"Nope," I laughed "Just skilled and dedicated workers."

"Really? No hordes of Jewish slaves?"

"Not a single kosher crowd to be spoken of."

"Oh, that's cool," he laughed. "One less tragedy for the world then."

"What about you?" I asked.

"Are you calling me a tragedy?"

"No," I laughed again, "I mean, what are you studying?"

"Oh, right. No I knew that."

"Sure you did," I snickered.

"So yeah, I'm studying forensics," he answered, ignoring my tease. "But I've been thinking about becoming a fireman too though."

"That'd be really cool," I replied enthusiastically, and not just because I was thinking of him in a firefighter's uniform, because I definitely was not doing that.

"You think so?" he asked smiling.

"Yeah, definitely." He already had the whole too-helpful-for-his-own-good thing going for him. "If you don't mind the parts with the burning buildings collapsing around you," I added.

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Anyway, at least now I know helping helpless animals down from trees will be a breeze," he joked.

"Hey," I objected, "I wasn't helpless."

"Yup," he laughed, ignoring me, "I mean how much different can helpless kittens be from helpless foxes?" My heart fluttered for a moment as his words. He compared me to a kitten! The helpless part instead of the cute part though, but still, that counts right? Right. Awesome. Wait a minute, damn it stay focused! You're arguing right now!

"I said I was not helpless," I asserted.

"No of course not," he said, still teasing. "I'm sure you would have gotten yourself down somehow. Before the branch broke. And before your friend showed and called the fire department."

He had a point, but I was not about to admit that. "I could have just climbed to the next branch and then later convinced him not to."

"Sure you could have," he replied skeptically.

"Who asked for your help anyway?" I told him, mostly because I really couldn't think of any other way I could have avoided getting down quietly without the Wolf. Well, not exactly quietly, but, you know.

"Alright, fine," he responded, "next time I'm leaving you up in the tree."

Next time. Another weird little thrill danced in my abdomen. "Next time I'll get a real fireman who knows what he's doing."

"Meaning what, exactly?"

"Well it wasn't exactly the most well thought out plan."

"Are you serious?" he said with disbelief. "We made it out alive, didn't we?"

"I just mean I could have thought of jumping without you there," I said, shrugging my shoulders in dismissal.

"Without me you would have broken your ribs on a branch and your limbs on the ground," he claimed. "In fact, right now you owe your very life to me."

I did not owe my life to him...did I?...No, of course not. He was the one who nearly got me killed. I would have been fine without him...probably.

"I could have waited for someone less obnoxious to come by," I mumbled loudly.

"Obnoxious?" he repeated with mock indignation.

"Yup," I affirmed. "Obnoxious."

"You ungrateful, little, fox."

"I am not little," I insisted.

"But you are ungrateful."

"I'm not-" Then I realized my mistake. I had never thanked him. This whole time I had not given him a single word of gratitude for helping me get down from that tree. It was pretty much as bad as when I blew him off last time. Worse maybe. "I..." he was staring at me when I looked at him, a big grin on his face. He knew what I was thinking.

"You...?" he edged me on. He was waiting for me to thank him, and something about that, his big expectant grin, made me not want to give it to him.

"I would have been fine without you," I said finally. He stopped walking for dramatic affect, but I just kept going.

"Are you kidding me?" he called from behind me.

"But you needed the practice to be a good fireman, so I guess it was okay," I continued, piling it on. I walked for a while more, waiting for his response, but it never came. When I turned around he was fixing headphones in his ears while he fiddled with an IPod. He walked up to me while staring down at his device and did not look up until he reached me. When he raised his head he acted confused about why I was staring at him, and then pretended he realized I must have been wondering about the IPod.

"Oh this?" he asked, "Well, talking to you isn't going to get me anywhere, so I'm just going to listen to some music the rest of the way." I let out a single little laugh, like I couldn't believe his behavior. Seeing this he broke character a little by letting out yet another huge grin. "That cool with you?" he asked like it mattered.

"Perfectly." But he didn't respond. He was fiddling with his IPod again.

"Huh?" he said, pretending he didn't hear me. I just shook my head and started walking forward again, hiding my smile and biting back a laugh. I heard his laugh behind me though, before he stepped quickly to catch up to me. I didn't look at him, but I suspected he still had that big stupid grin on his face. "You wanna listen too?" he asked, offering his IPod to me like an olive branch of peace. I looked over at him again and yup, big stupid grin right where I had left it. Not that it was mine to leave, except I was kind of maybe indirectly the cause of it. But that thought did not make me smile too. I smiled for completely different reasons.

His headphones were dangling around his neck now, I assumed so he could just turn the volume up all the way and that way we could both hear it. "I guess," I answered, taking the device.

"Cool," he laughed. "Pick whatever you want." I looked through his songs, happy to find that there were a good bunch that I recognized and liked, but I was worried about picking one he didn't really care for and couldn't decide what to play. Love songs were definitely out since...well I just didn't really want to hear one right now. It didn't seem appropriate.

This is the part where it is very appropriate.

No! Now is NOT the time for daydreaming.

"You don't like any of them, do you?" he asked when I had failed to select anything for a while. Something in his tone made me look to his face, and on it were a few signs of a disappointed expression hidden by an attempt at a half smile. A moment of confusion was instantly replaced with clarity. He was worried that we didn't like the same type of music. Not that musical tastes are the only factor to determining compatibility, but it would be such a great thing to have in common. And he was worried that we didn't have that, which meant he wanted us to have that so-.......did I just say compatibility?

"No," I answered. But then he looked even more crestfallen and started muttering some kind of apology about some songs not being on it yet or something. I didn't really give him a chance to get it fully out because when I realized my mistake I interrupted him. "No! I mean I do like them. I just don't want to pick one that you don't like."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Well if there on my IPod, that generally means I like them."

"Yeah, but like some of my friends have a ton of songs from other people, and songs that they've never even heard," I explained.

"Oh, no, I hand picked all the songs on there myself," he told me with a smile. "I like all of them one hundred percent. Trust me, you can pick whatever you want."

"Okay," I replied. But I was still indecisive so I opted to make an easier decision. "I'm just going to put it on shuffle and see what happens."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yup," I said as I selected it. After a second or to the beginnings of a song I was unfamiliar with started playing.

"Nice," he stated, apparently happy with the song choice. When the chorus came he half sang along and I found myself really enjoying listening to him. After that, though I had hoped to avoid it, a love song came on. I had heard it before but I didn't really know it. He did though.

This is the part where he starts singing the words as they come up, his voice warm and perfectly expressing the feelings behind the song. During a vocal pause he stops walking, and when I turn to see why I find him staring at me. He smiles as the lyrics start up again and he starts singing along with them. He steps forward and takes my hand just as the song mentions the feel of intertwined fingers. I let him twirl me as the chorus starts up, then he pulls me in by the waist and leads me in a simplified waltz as leaves fall around us. We sway in time with the music, his stare never losing sight of me as he continues to sing along softly. He leans in slowly as the last of the lyrics are sung, each word bringing our lips closer and closer until...

This is the part where he hums along with the song for a while. When the chorus comes up he starts half singing again. I don't know why I look, but at one point I do. He looks at me at the same time and we make eye contact for a split second before we both quickly look away. His voice dies out a second after that and we walk in horribly awkward silence for the duration of the song. I know my face is bright red as I listen to the lyrics and am grateful for the cover my hair provides. Even the slightly thrilled part of me is happy when the song is finally over.

"What time is it now?" I asked to break the silence.

"6:29." His body almost seemed to droop a bit, and for a second I worried that I was making him feel like I wanted to get away from him, which I really didn't, for some reason. But even if he was discouraged he continued on like he wasn't. "We're almost there."

Another song I was not familiar with played after, so I got to listen to his half singing the rest of the way. When we got to the parking lot he turned the music off. We both opened our mouths to speak but I beat him to it again. "Are you gonna take off?" I asked him.

"Um...Well I can wait with you, if you want."

Yes please. "Yeah, okay," He smiled and it made me smile, which made me look away. "What time is it now?" I asked to distract myself.

"6:31. He should be here soon then, right?"

"Yeah," I replied. Neither of us said anything for a few moments. I couldn't come up with anything, and the Wolf had his mouth open like he might say something, but it was a while before he made an attempt to voice whatever he had been trying to get out.

"Um..." he paused for a few moments, "...do you live around here?"

It seemed like the wrong question to ask. Not inappropriate or something like that, just like maybe that wasn't quite what he meant to ask. "Yeah," I answered him. When he didn't immediately reply I looked out over the parking lot. "What time is it now?" I asked, hoping I wasn't making him think I was eager to leave. But he just gave me a confused smile before checking his phone once again.

"6:32," he told me.

"Thanks. Sorry I'm just a little neurotic," I explained, not sure why I felt I needed to tell him that. "That's why I keep asking."

He just shook his head. "It's fine," he said, letting me know he didn't mind.

"And..." I really should do it before I leave, "...thanks for...uh...helping me down the tree." Saving may have been a better word, but it had connotations I didn't want to bring into this. "I really, really would have hated having to...have a whole big thing with people staring and, stuff, so...you know, it was really cool of you to help me out. Especially since we sort of almost died."

I could see the red glow of a blush beneath his fur while I thanked him, and something about knowing I was the one making him blush like that felt really great. "Yeah," he said when I had finished, "no problem. And um...this was fun anyway so, you know." The sun was currently obscured by a cloud, but his eyes were shinning just the same. "Except for the whole, almost dying part," he joked.

"Yeah," I laughed, agreeing. I looked over the parking lot again, no longer sure how I felt about Max not being here yet. Why was that?

"Do you want to borrow my phone?" he asked, probably noticing that I kept looking for Max's car.

"Um..." Part of me was perfectly fine with just waiting here with the Wolf, but another part of me thought I should probably check in with Max, if for no other reason then to see how much time we had left. "Yeah," I accepted. "Thanks." I dialed his number, and it rang for a good while before he finally answered.

"Hello?" I heard his voice ask. Normally Cynthia would answer for Max if he was driving, so I concluded that either he was parked or wasn't in his car.

"Hey, Max, its-" But then I paused and remembered that I couldn't use my name, damn it all. "A-Alex." Great, and now I had stuttered on top of it.

"Alex...uh, Alex what?"

Damn you Max couldn't you just recognize my voice? Think, how to make him realize it was me quickly. He was asking for a last name, could I use mine? I never had any trouble saying my last name, and it was common enough to not feel like I was giving away significant information. "Alex Greytail." I explained exasperatedly, like he was just being silly and knew very well which Alex he was speaking to. Honestly though there wasn't much point in keeping up the charade. The Wolf wasn't stupid. Even if last time wasn't enough, he definitely knew for a fact now that my name was not in fact Alex.

"Alex Grey-ooooohh. My compulsively lying friend Alex?"

"Yeah." Technically that was sort of accurate.

"Oooohh. So what's up Alex, just being Alex as usual?" he said in the same preppy voice he used to taunt me last time.

"Please don't do that."

"Well you're Alex, what else could I expect?" he was laughing now, and I felt the urge to cover up the phone in case the Wolf could here what he was saying. "Where are you calling from anyway?"

"I..." I hesitated, unsure if I should mention the Wolf. "I'm borrowing a phone."

"From who?" he asked. "The same Wolf from last time?"

For a moment I panicked, thinking he could see me, but then I remember he was referring to the fact that the Wolf was the one I had used that name for. I glanced over at the Wolf in question, still making sure he couldn't hear. "My friend." It seemed as good a way to put it as any.

"Which friend?"

Max knew all of my friends, since the majority of them were his friends first and the rest were more classmates then actual people I hung out with. And Max had met all of them too.

"A new friend," I answered him. The word new felt odd to say, and I wasn't sure why that was.

"Another new friend? You're on a role, Alex." And hey, he was sort of right; Roy last time, and Joseph and the Wolf this time. At this rate I would have an army of friends by the end of the month. Cool.

"Yeah," I replied. "You almost here?"

"Yeeaaahhh, about that..."

"What?" I asked. Had they cancelled? What would that mean for my current situation with the Wolf?

"Well," began Max, "Roy texted me and asked what I was doing, and I told him that I was already going to the movies, and one thing led to another and basically we're waiting for him outside his house and will come get you afterwards. So like maybe another 20 minutes."

"20 minutes?" I saw the Wolf's ears perk up a bit. "Are we going to get to the movie on time?"

"Yeah, maybe just miss some of the early previews. Don't worry about it. "

"How does Cynthia feel about you inviting your boyfriend?" At the word boyfriend the Wolf's ear shifted.

Max's voice became less clear as he turned away from the phone. "He wants to know how you feel about me inviting my new boyfriend." In answer I heard Cynthia let out a loud sigh, and I laughed. "Did you hear?" he asked me.

"Yeah. The things she puts up with from you."

"I know," he sighed. "Sometimes I don't know what she sees in me, till I look in the mirror and am like 'that's right'."

"Looks can only get you so far," I laughed. "Anyway, if you're bringing your new boyfriend maybe I shouldn't even go." In the corner of my eyes I saw the Wolf's tail wag, just once.

"Don't be jealous," Max chided.

"Yup, I could just hang out with my new friend instead," I continued.

"That'd be cool," The Wolf chimed in, letting me know he would not mind it. For some reason it gave me another big goofy grin.

"Trying to make me jealous now?" Max said. "What's he got that I don't got?"

"How did you put it?" I asked, remembering our earlier conversation. "When we met it was like we were already friends." The Wolf's tail wagged a few more times. Technically when we met I was just sort of eager to get rid of him, but now...

"It's gonna be like that huh?" Max laughed. "Maybe I don't even want you to come with me anyway."

"Good, maybe I don't want to go," I replied. Then I heard some noise and then voices talking.

"Okay," Max started, "Roy's here. So do we come get you, yes or no?"

"Do you come get me?..." I looked over at the Wolf. He was staring at me intently, waiting for my answer. The obvious answer, to me at least, was to say yes. That still left me with some time with the Wolf without trapping me here with him, which in my mind would drastically increase the chances that I do something to weird him out and make him never want to see me again. And I did want him to want to see me again, even if I couldn't understand why.

But the way he was looking at me right now, with his bright yellow eyes, made me want to stay with him. When he realized he was staring at me, he looked away. And I saw something there, in the way his body shifted while his ears stayed alert, which made me think he was anxious of what my answer would be. Nervous even, maybe. It didn't make sense to think he was worried that I might leave, but...

"Alex?" Max said when I hadn't answered him, his voice still enunciating my fake name funny.

Go

But it was barely even a whisper in my mind. "Sorry, uhh..." I still needed more time to think. There was never enough time though. The Wolf looked at me once again, and this time I was almost certain there was some hint of pleading in his eyes for me not to go. I didn't know what to do. "Uhh..." And then the sun, which had been absent for a while, broke through the clouds and shined rays of light for the first time directly onto his face.

His eyes are yellow. I have said that before, and I hadn't forgotten that. But the way they looked in the sunlight...it was like seeing them again for the first time. But, no, that's not quite right. There was something...familiar about them, something that gave me an unexplainable pang of nostalgia. I had been seeing his eyes for the past couple minutes, but it was like I hadn't seen them in a lifetime. And to say they glowed wouldn't be accurate either. A glow is essentially dim; pretty, but for its lighter affects. The way they reflected the light, it was like they were the ones shining. Two bright yellow suns come down all the way from the sky to shine directly on me. And I don't mean to sound cheesy, but they were the most beautiful things I could remember seeing in my entire life. I mean jeez, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that my mouth had been hanging open.

The Wolf smiled hesitantly at me. "I don't mind keeping you company," he said to me, his sunshine eyes now definitely inviting me to stay.

"You can hang out with your new friend if you want," I heard Max say through the phone, breaking me out of my revere.

Sort of. There was still no way I could say no to those eyes. "Okay...yeah," I told them both. "...I think I'm going to stay."

Sunshine Eyes' tail started wagging freely, as if I had just made him really happy. And with controlled glee I realized I actually might have.

"You sure?" asked Max.

"Yeah." Definitely sure, especially with the Wolf's reaction.

"Okay," he said. "Should I drop your backpack off at your house later?"

"No. Can you just hold onto it till tomorrow?" I asked him. "I'll pick it up at school."

"Okay," he replied. "Good luck dude."

Good luck. That was Max; he always knew just what to say to agitate me. "Bye," I replied before hanging up. I looked at the ground for a second to build myself up before facing the Wolf. He was looking at the ground too, but quickly looked up at me with a smile that was threatening to become a huge grin. "So, I guess I'm staying," I told him.

"Yeah," he replied, trying to play it cool despite his tail and face giving him away. So at this point it would be hard to argue that he wasn't glad I stayed, but I just couldn't wrap my head around why that was.

"Oh, here's your phone," I said, handing it back to him. "Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem." He took it from me carefully, making sure our fingers didn't brush. It bothered me, but not in the way it usually would have.

This is the part where we look at each other, shy and unsure of how to proceed. So we just stand there smiling until our stares start lingering too long and we realize that the proper thing to do in this situation is to speak. Blushing, he asks me if I want to get something to eat and I, just as red, accept. We exit the park, walking comfortably too close to one another as we make our way to a restaurant he is very fond of. Despite the tension, conversation flows easily between us, as if we have been friends our whole lives.

This is the part where we just stand there, neither of us saying anything for a while. We had been getting along great the past couple minutes, but now that we were intentionally spending time together the awkwardness from before had once again settled comfortably over us. "Do you wanna..." the Wolf began, but trailed off at the end like before.

"Do I wanna...?" I urged him to continue.

"...Uhh..." he faltered, looking once again like a deer caught in headlights.

It made me laugh a little. Yes, I do wanna. "Sounds like fun," I answered, trying to help him out. "Let's go."

"Yeah," he laughed, happy to move past his slip-up. "Okay."

I led the way, taking us back into the park with no actual destination in mind. The sun was still out, but it was beginning to set so it could only poke holes through the leaves here and there. The rest of the park, while not really dark, was beginning to dim as the minutes passed. Every time we reached a fork in the road I would tell him "this way" and he'd give me simple replies like "okay" or "sure", letting me decide were to go. It was even emptier now than it had been before. We hardly passed anyone save for all the ducks and geese. It took a few minutes for one of us to speak again.

"So...where are we headed?" the Wolf asked eventually.

"I don't know," I told him honestly.

"Oh," he stated flatly. "Um..." but that was the end of what he had to say.

Thankfully we were close to one of the lakes, so the lapping of the water combined with the quacking ducks to keep us from walking in absolute silence. I should have said something like we'll know when we get there or hopefully we'll find out soon. Those, at least, sounded more cinematic or story booky or something like that. By now one of us should have said something to ease the discomfort, but instead even after many more minutes we were still walking in silence. The Wolf might still be a little gun-shy after his first attempt. Maybe I should give it a try.

"So do you-...wait." Great, you messed up your chance.

"What?" he asked politely.

"Sorry," I replied. "I was going to ask if you lived around here, but I remembered I already asked that."

"Oh. Well you didn't really ask that," The Wolf said, trying to give me an opening.

"No, but you already said that you did so, yeah." It might have been the wrong thing to say. He shrugged and didn't say anything else. That definitely didn't work. If anything the awkwardness might have actually become worse. I started thinking I should have gone with Max. This whatever-it-was was not going well at all. The Wolf was probably regretting my decision to stay too. I needed to get us talking again. "What about when you aren't here?"

"Hm?" he asked, unsure what I meant.

"When you don't live here," I clarified. "Where do you stay?"

"Oh, in a dorm on campus."

I nodded. "Um, do you have roommates?"

"Yeah. My friend Kyle shares a room with me. He's cool."

I bet he was way more fun to hang out with than me, I thought to myself. We walked for a few more minutes without talking.

"Do you live around here?" the Wolf asked eventually. We had traveled deeper into the park and had only passed by one runner. The clouds above us had started to get thicker.

"Yeah," I answered him. "In an apartment."

The Wolf nodded. "Um, do you walk here?"

"No. I usually take a bus."

"Oh," he replied. "Um, I usually drive."

"Yeah. In your car."

"Yeah..."

And just as I was feeling absolutely miserable at how things were turning out I felt a light cold breeze nudge at my face. Forgetting to suppress my odd quirks when around people, I let my face be turned, causing me to make eye contact with the Wolf. I smiled instinctively, more reflex than anything, and he smiled back. And jeez what a smile. Despite the undeniable awkwardness it just looked so genuine and happy, like he hadn't even noticed. So maybe this was not going as horrible as I had thought.

"Sorry," I apologized, looking away.

"For what?" So polite.

"I don't know if this is...you know, living up to your expectations."

"Oh. Well to be honest my expectations were pretty low." It took me a moment to realize he was joking. It actually made me smile, a real one with a nice little laugh, and just like that most of the awkwardness was gone. "This is fine," he told me. "Um, you know. I like walking with you." I glanced at him again to see if he was lying, but he just smiled that smile. "Awkward conversations and all," he added as a joke.

I laughed again. "Well...stick around. Plenty more awkwardness to come." It was only until after I said it that I regretted saying it, but the Wolf just took it in stride.

"Looking forward to it," he said, causing another little thrill. I should get those checked later.

Taking courage from this I decided to try something else. When I led us off the path he didn't say anything, still letting me decide what our destination would be. There was a good chunk of the park that the paths didn't really go through that felt nice and secluded even when the park was fuller. And I know how it sounds, leading Sunshine Eyes into a part of the park that was nice and private, but I swear that was not what I was going for.

After a few minutes we neared the place I was leading us to. But I started becoming less sure about how successful this next attempt would be. I thought it might be funny in a way because of how we ran into each other today, but the more I thought about it the more I thought he probably wouldn't care. Maybe if I went for it at a different angle.

When we reached a specific tree I looked up at it and pretended I just remembered which tree it was. "Oh."

"Hm?" He looked at the tree too, curiosity piqued. "What is it?"

"This tree was the first one that I ever climbed really high," I explained. "When I was little I almost got all the way to the top."

I waited for his response, feeling oddly like a kid in a science fair waiting to see if my project would be applauded or admonished. He brought his hand to his chin, almost exaggerating his evaluation of the tree. After what felt like much more time than I knew was reasonable, he uttered a simple "Wow."

"Wow?" I repeated before I could stop myself. It was not really one of the reactions I had anticipated.

But he just put his hands on his hips in another exaggerated gesture and continued to scrutinize the tree. "Yup."

"Why?" I asked, not sure if that was the right question to ask.

"Nothing," he explained, "just...it's so small. You couldn't have gotten stuck in a tree like this?" He was making a joke, I realized. I couldn't help laughing, and he gave me a grin in response. "This would have been so much easier to get you down from."

"I wouldn't have needed help getting down from that height." The tree was shorter than the majority of the others in the park, which was why I was able to climb it so successfully when I was smaller.

"I'm not so sure," he teased. "Funny how we found it by accident." Guess I needed to take a few more acting classes.

He walked up to it, examining the lower branches as if trying to see in his mind the path a younger me would have taken to reach the top. I searched his face for signs that he was just pretending, but I found none. He really did seem to be fascinated in what many would consider to be a superfluous and small part of my history. But it was a special memory to me, and knowing that he thought it was interesting made me feel...well, strange, but not in an unpleasant way. "So you're still not going to tell me what you were doing up in that tree?" he asked. He looked over at me, his expression curious, bordering on wary. He was worried about upsetting me again.

"Sitting mostly," I replied, playing with the meaning of his words. "Contemplating my life." I didn't look at him. As long as I didn't look at him he couldn't make me feel all weird and want to tell him the truth.

I expected him to accuse me of dodging the question, but instead he just sighed, barely audible enough for me to hear. "So," he began again, like it was no big deal that I was avoiding his question, "how young exactly were you when you first started climbing?"

I was unsure what to make of his lack of insistence, but I was not going to complain. "In kindergarten we had a jungle gym at our playground that I would climb up all the time. I started trying to climb trees when I was 7, but I could never really do it right 'til I was about 11. That's when I climbed this one."

From the corner of my eye I could see him listening to me talk about my life like it was the most interesting thing he had ever heard. "Did your parents ever try and stop you?"

"My mom did. She said..."

He raised an eyebrow at me when I stopped. "What?"

I hid my face from him, trying not to smile. "She said one day I'd climb too high and get stuck."

My attempts were dashed however when I heard the laughter in his voice. "Now why in the world would she think that?"

"I had to climb this one in private," I continued as if I hadn't heard him. "My dad was always cool with it though. He would tell her that if I was going to climb trees anyway they might as well let me learn to be good at it."

"And how's that been working for you?" the Wolf teased.

"Hey, I'm a great climber. Today was just...." The result of a paranoid mind and poor judgment "...an accident."

"You accidentally climbed up a tree?" he asked, still teasing.

But again, also asking. Couldn't he just leave it alone? "I accidentally got stuck," I replied simply. "Everyone has bad days." I walked over to the tree and leaned against its trunk, facing away from him.

"Yeah, but not as often as you seem to get them," he said.

"Well, I figured I should try to get mine out of the way early, you know? That way the rest of my life can just be smooth sailing."

He came around to face me, resting one hand on a branch above our heads while his other hand stuck a thumb in his pocket and let his elbow jut out from his body. "Assuming you don't get killed first," he told me, his voice more serious now.

My heart rate picked up a little. The branch was more above my head than his, so he was standing closer than he seemed to realize. His elbow created the impression that he was blocking my path, and though I was by no means boxed in, I definitely felt trapped. "I've been doing pretty good so far," I said with a mostly steady voice, hoping he didn't hear the slight tremor in it.

His eyes searched my face, looking for something. Then he sighed. "Bleeding and falling is not doing pretty good. You take too many risks." His tone had taken on a quality that I could not identify. My mind was too distracted by how close his body was to mine. "You need to be more careful..." He took his thumb out of his pocket and reached his hand toward me. My ears flattened and my breathing stopped. He was going to touch me.

Move.

My entire body went rigid.

Run.

I was frozen.

Do Something.

I waited for the burn...

This is the part where his fingers reach up and carefully caress my cheek, leaving burning lines across it. They stop under my chin, lifting it, pulling without pulling, drawing my muzzle forward. He tilts his head so our foreheads are almost touching. "I don't want to lose you Todd." he tells me. "I can't." My world is on fire. The touch of his fingers and his windy breath on my face are the only things I can feel besides the burning. He slowly brings his lips closer to mine, pulling me right into the flames...

This is the part where his fingers reach up and carefully grab onto a lock of my hair, lifting it gently to softly run his thumb up and down the length of it. It must seem like a safe gesture to him, since hair is incapable of feeling and therefore shouldn't hurt when touched.

But it did burn, just like the rest of me.

Not the hair itself of course, but all the places on my body where I could feel the movement; my scalp, my shoulders, my neck, my ears, my face. And even if it didn't, the proximity of his hand to my face was enough to make the skin underneath sting. Maybe it was the intimate way he stoked his thumb over the lock of hair, or even just the intimacy of the whole situation, but it burned much more than it should.

Almost unbearable.

Almost.

Not for long though.

"I can't..." His voice was quiet, and I wanted to do something, though I didn't know what. Even if I did, I couldn't move. "...I can't risk loosing you again Al..." He faltered at my name. My fake name. "...Alex." He looked at me, confused, and then looked down at his hand like he just noticed what he was doing. And it appeared that he had, because instantly he let go and, upon noticing how close we were, quickly stepped away from the tree, and from me. The fire went out. "Shit! I-!" It was like...thread snapping, when he pulled away. My lungs opened up, letting me breathe. Suddenly I was back in the park, which was a weird thing to know since I also knew I had never left. My hands gripped the bark behind me for support, my knees threatening to collapse. "Sorry! I wasn't-...I mean, I mean I didn't-"

"No," I interrupted, though it was barely more than a whisper. He was visibly shaken, and I wondered just how out of it he had been. Had he felt the snap too? What just happened exactly?

"I'm sorry, Alex I'm really sorry!"

"It's fine," I told him, shaking my head. "Just...give me a minute." The air had become colder, which was great because it helped keep down any lingering heat. We stayed there for a while, waiting for the tension of what had just happened ease up. My tail twitched agitatedly behind me as I tried to control my breathing. I chanced a look and saw that he was staring at me with what looked like a mixture of worry and confusion. For the most part I was just staring at his hand, the one that had been holding my hair. It looked like it was shaking.

It was getting late. The sun had set further behind the trees and buildings further off, and pretty soon the lampposts that dotted the park would turn on for the more nocturnal park-goers.

When he finally began to regain some of his composure he spoke again. "...I'm sorry. I didn't...I mean I shouldn't have...done that."

"No," I repeated. "No, it...you didn't do anything, bad."

His eyes looked over me, and I became acutely aware of the raggedness of my breathing and the way my body clung to the tree behind me for support. He started shaking his head. "I-I just...I don't know why..."

"It's okay," I assured him quickly, trying to stand up straight so he would believe me. He looked practically horrified at what he had done and I just...I just really didn't want him to feel like that. "Um, no damage done, see?" I smiled at him, probably not as convincingly as I wanted.

He stared for a moment, probably trying to decide if he believed me. "Sorry," he apologized again. He looked away and I let myself slump back against the tree. My lungs blew out a puff of air as I ran one hand over my scalp, pulling my hair up over my head as my fingers combed through it. Not like it wasn't already out of place anyway.

The Wolf had crossed his arms, staring and the ground without really seeing it. I looked up at the branches above me, my eyes settling on an easily reached and comfortable looking branch. I expected him to say something, but instead he just watched as I heaved myself up into the tree, fighting against the soreness of my body as I settled onto the branch with one leg hanging down and my back resting against the trunk. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting my body calm down. It was always oddly relaxing being in a tree.

"Isn't resting in trees more of a feline trait?" I heard the Wolf say. His voice was close now. I opened my eyes and saw him about climb up into the tree with me.

"My best friend's a Panther. Sometimes things rub off."

He stopped on a lower branch further to my side, but had a harder time trying to find a comfortable position. Eventually he settled on straddling the branch like he had in the other tree. "I don't think I like it."

"You just have to get used to it." I laughed quietly.

He watched me, eyes still bright in the darkness. I was glad for the extra shade of the tree. It made me feel less exposed. But even after a while he was still staring at me, and I wanted to say something to distract him, but there was only question that I could think to ask.

"Why are you staring at me like?" I tried to make it sound casual, like I was just curious. But the Wolf suddenly looked away and I thought his ears might have started to look a little pinker.

"Sorry," he answered. "You're eyes, uh..."

"What about my eyes?" I questioned him, now genuinely curious.

This is the part where he says there just really beautiful...

This is the part where he says "They just, kind of freak me out."

"Oh." That definitely was not something I thought he was going to say

"No! I...I didn't mean it like that. Just, forget I said anything. I don't think I really know how to explain it anyways."

He looked frustrated about it so I let the subject drop. And I tried not to develop some new insecurity about my eyes. We sat quietly for a few more minute before he spoke again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Just don't worry about it."

He leaned his head against the tree, staring into the air in front of him. "Sorry again." I really wished he would stop apologizing to me. I was going to tell him so but he had a strange look on his face that made me forget to. "I don't know why I did that," he mumbled, more to himself than me. We stayed like that for a while, sitting quietly in a tree while our minds tried to process the last few minutes. And I wondered, what was it that now my life had seemingly become a series of odd events that lacked logical conclusions? Had my mental deterioration finally begun to peak? Or maybe it was just a stream of random weirdness with no actual meaning.

Then I looked over at Sunshine Eyes and saw that his face had become even more distant, his thoughts leading him further away. The tip of a small, skinny twig directly below him dislodged itself from its parent branch and fell to the earth below.

Come Back

Not instinct, something else. "How you holdin' up?" I asked him. It could have been a literal question. He seemed to have to shift every few minutes.

He actually jumped when he I spoke, surprised to hear my voice. He looked over at me, finding himself again. He shifted again too. "Aren't I supposed to ask you that?" he asked, smiling now.

Good. "If you asked that I'd push you out of the tree."

He laughed, and the sound made me smile. "Uh....I'm holdin' up fine." he said. "What abo-" but he stopped when he saw the look I was giving him. "Er, uh. What have, you, been up to?"

I laughed my approval and peered out through the leaves in front of me, which just showed more leaves since this tree was so short. "Not much. Contemplating." I made sure to make the word sound as obnoxious as possible.

"What have you been, 'Contemplating'?" he asked, mimicking my pronunciation.

My life and how it was going crazy, but that would involve the most recent addition to the list of events and we were trying to avoid that. Though...there was one weird thing that I could ask him about. But, I wasn't sure I really knew how to ask it.

"Stuff," I replied simply.

"Stuff like...?"

I looked back at him. It was a simple enough question, in theory. "Stuff about you."

His ears perked up. He looked surprised. "Me?"

"Yeah. Some of it anyway."

It was hard to tell, but his ears looked pinker. Then I realized what this might sound like. Oops. "...what about me?"

I shook my head. "Uh, just...I was wondering why."

It wasn't an answer he expected. "Why?"

"Yeah. I was wondering...why did you climb up the tree to help me."

"Oh," His body relaxed some. I didn't know what to think of that, and I had to remind myself that it didn't matter to me. He turned his face forward, staring into the not quite distance. "'Cause you needed my help," he replied matter-of-factly, shrugging.

"I get that... I mean, why did you climb up the tree?" On cue he shifted one of his legs, lifting and bending it on its side while trying not to lose his balance. "You don't seem really...practiced with it."

"Uh..." His faced scrunched up like he was tying to remember the reason for it. "I guess...I don't know."

Well that was...strange. But I nodded anyway, willing to be satisfied enough with that answer. Goodness knows I used it often enough. "It just seemed like a weird first thing to do, you know?"

"Yeah," he agreed, "I guess it was."

"A normal person would have just called the fire department or something," I added as a joke. But his face still looked confused.

"Yeah." he agreed again. His stare started becoming distant, no longer looking in front of him, just somewhere else entirely. "Heh...guess..." he was talking to himself again.

I should call him back, I thought to myself with a tinge of urgency, but something held me back. "...maybe...it was you..."

The feeling of thread un-snapping, starting to pull.

What did he mean?

"Me?"

"Yeah, with you I..." His voiced died out. I watched his face go from confusion to horrible surprise as he realized what he had said, then mix back with confusion again.

He hadn't meant to say those words. Not out loud.

But he did.

I felt a weird pang inside of me.

Something wanted to get out.

"...With me you...?"

He shook his head slowly, confused. "Nothing," he answered.

Be silent.

But it was barely above a whisper.

"What is it?" I pressed.

Something was trying to register in the back of my head.

I swung my other leg over the branch so that I was seated facing him, leaning my left side against the trunk for support. I was starting to feel wobbly. Glancing down, I might as well have been back up in that tree for how far up I felt. His face looked up to me and his eyes searched mine. I looked as determinedly as I could back at him, fighting the urge to flinch away. Then his eyes went to my half-folded ears, and I could tell they were at least really pink, if not bright red, giving away way too much information.

He looked into my eyes again. He looked more determined now.

"With you..." he repeated quietly. "...With you...I mean it's like..." Then he looked down and rubbed at the back of his neck. The Wolf seemed to be at a loss for words. For whatever reason, he had become shy. Maybe I really wasn't in the park. Everything just seemed so mixed up and confusing. I might have tried saying something, but my thoughts were being drowned out by a loud beating sound in my ears.

When he looked at me again, though it was too dark to tell on the rest of his face through his fur, the insides of his ears were visibly pink. He was blushing too now. "Um...It's like, what you said before." When I gave him a confused look, he explained some more. "When you were talking to your friend. You said, uh...when we met, it was like we were already friends." He didn't speak anymore for a moment, and I realized he was waiting for me to say something.

"Y-Yeah, I remember." I told him. When I had said that, I meant it more as a joke than anything else. At least, I thought I had. Hadn't I? I couldn't really remember anymore.

When I didn't say anything more he decided to continue. "But, like...more than that..." he looked away again, apparently having trouble getting the words out. A light steady breeze began to blow through the leaves when he looked at me again. "...And when I looked up...I saw it was you, and...I don't, climbing just made sense cause...I mean, talking to you...it isn't hard at all...I mean it is, but, easy too you know?...And I just...I want to get to know you more...Better." There was another weird pang inside my chest that I would have thought I was way beyond noticing, but it made everything lurch around me and I had to tighten my grip on the tree. His bright yellow sunshine eyes were locked onto mine. "Because with you I feel...I mean everything just feels..." There was some...thing in front of me. Not really, but there was. Some...word, or, sentiment, something, in front of me that I knew, knew I should know. His lips quivered for a moment, his tongue trying to figure out what sound it was supposed to make. I felt my whole body, my whole being leaning in, everything waiting on his next few words until finally again he spoke.

Saying everything.

Hiding it as nothing.

"...comfortable."

This is the part where he says I love you. He didn't have too.

Are you sure? How about this is the part when you reply in kind, climbing over to him, your faces leaning in towards each other as your lips meet in a passionate movie-screen kiss. I'm not doing that.

Then this is the part when you don't say anything as you climb over to him, your faces leaning in towards each other as your lips meet in a passionate movie-screen kiss. I'm not doing that.

Throw me a bone here. Fine.

This is the part where I had been naïve, too unfamiliar with what I was feeling. All the weird little thrills that had ran through my body, the thoughts that had played in my head, the tongue-tied words and the desire to stay close. All the signs seemed so obvious now. I had fantasized about it, wanted it, dreamed about it for so long, but never actually believed I could feel it like this. The Wolf was attractive, obviously, and of course when I first met him I was already crushing on him. But now, this, this was so much more than that. He was nice to me, was patient and accepted my short-comings. He was considerate and fun to talk to and just being around him made my entire body swell with emotions. Happy emotions. Emotions that were suddenly so obvious I wondered how I could have ever possibly not known what they were. I was in love the Wolf. And now I knew he felt the same way about me...

This is the part where I am not that stupid. Well, I mean actually I guess at this point with my current track record it would be very difficult for me to argue that I am not stupid. What I mean is, sure, in the beginning I was wary about feeling this way, since it might have only been because he was pretty and was nice to me (I've seen waaaay too many people fall into that trap), but I knew what I was feeling. And gradually it became sort of clear that the Wolf might feel the same way about me. And let's face it, from when the Wolf first asked me to walk with him even a random stranger watching the two of us could have at least guessed what was going on between us. He pretty much said that that is exactly what was going on between you two. Just now, which is kind of way more than awesome so, you know, wrap it up. Please let me stop talking to myself. No, my confusion, my lack of comprehension, came from not understanding why. Why was it that it had only been a day, less than that even, and I was already feeling this for the Wolf? And how in the world could he possibly already be feeling the same way about me. It had grown so much so quickly. We barely knew each other, but my mind, my heart, whatever you want to call it, just would not comprehend that.

He was Sunshine Eyes, and he just fit.

It was as simple as that.

By the way, while the Wolf was talking, you forgot to breathe.

I sucked in a lungful of air from the wind that was still blowing, a little more insistent now. There were even a few leaves falling down around us, almost giving the whole scene a cinematic quality. Somewhere deep in the back of my mind a part of me took note of that.

It was my line next. I opened my mouth to speak, waiting for the words to come out.

Nothing happened.

The wind quieted down some.

"Um...well yeah," he continued, no longer looking me in the eye. "I guess...I guess that's why....just, sorry."

"You don't..." Deep breaths. "You don't have to apologize." I knew I needed to say more, to acknowledge his...confession, and let him know that...that it wasn't a bad thing. I wanted to. But all the words were stuck in my throat.

"Thanks," he replied simply when I had failed to say anything else. He glanced at me and smiled, but it was way too forced.

It wasn't right. I knew I had to do...something. "I-I..." The Wolf's bright yellow eyes had locked onto mine again now. Okay, good start. Now try sentences. "I mean I..." That was not a sentence. Get a grip! His ears were perked up now, his whole body becoming attentive. Hadn't we been joking around just a few minutes ago? Now he appeared completely hinged on what my next words would be. He seemed so vulnerable, almost at my mercy, and I was afraid I was going to hurt him. And that would be unbearable.

He had tried to help me too many times in the two days we had known each other, even if I got burned a few times as a result. Yet despite all the trouble I had been causing him, he was still here. He'd stayed and made an effort to get to know me and let me get to know him.

And I'd liked that.

I liked the way he wanted to make a real connection with me. I liked the way he could make little mundane details of my life feel so much more important than they probably were. I liked the way he would get tongue-tied, and the way he would get shy, because he truly cared about what I thought about him and he wanted it to be something positive, because he was just as...taken, by me, as I was with him.

And now, now that he had left himself so defenseless against me...now I wanted to let him know that he mattered. That...it was significant to me, more than significant, the way he had connected himself to me. I just needed to find the right words.

"With you...I feel..." But why was this so damn difficult? It was like forgetting a middle line in the chorus of a song I had listened to over and over before. I knew what I wanted to say, could recall all the consonants and vowel sounds and syllables and the way they fit into the melody, I just could not remember the words! But it's stuck in my head and it wouldn't go away and I have to try to sing it anyway.

"I feel...comfortable, with you...too."

They weren't the right words.

They were true, but they didn't quiet say what they meant.

Sunshine Eyes seemed to know anyway though.

He started smiling pretty excitedly. And also just pretty. "Y-Yeah?"

Yeah? Sunshine Eyes. Yeah. "Yeah."

His tail started wagging and the insides of his ears' were now definitely bright red. He looked away before I did, and for one crazy moment I thought he might be shier about this than I was. But I was actually starting to feel dizzy so I knew that couldn't be true

"Okay," he said. "Cool." There were those word choices that I liked so much. "Er, I mean-" But I didn't want him to take it back.

"Cool," I agreed. I was crazy dizzy, but I had yet to pass out so yeah, so far so good.

The Wolf smiled at me, like I had just cured him of a fatal disease. "So...do you, uh, want walk some more with me?" he asked. "I don't think I'm getting the hang of this tree thing yet."

I did. I wanted to more than I knew was normal. "Okay."

We dropped down from the tree and once again he let me lead the way as we returned to the dirt path. We walked for a while without saying anything, maybe not as awkwardly as before, but definitely with some sort of tension lingering in the air between us. But maybe you could call it good tension.

It felt like the sun should have been shinning, but instead the park had become even darker than before. The lights still hadn't turned on, but it probably wouldn't be long. I wondered how long we would stay. Then I stopped because I couldn't bring myself to think any further than the next few minutes. I told myself it was because I was having so much trouble trying to process what was happening now. Very quickly we had whiplashed from talking and playful teasing to him touching my hair and both of us freaking out to the thing in the tree to settling on where we were now. My heart was pounding, my insides felt funny and the Wolf and I kept sneaking glances at each other and freaking out when our eyes met, and none of this felt particularly unpleasant. Just really, really overwhelming.

"Do you wanna listen to music again?" he asked, breaking the silence. His voice almost sounded unsteady, but I was probably imagining it.

"Okay," I smiled at him. I wasn't sure if I was capable of longer answers yet. He took out his IPod again and fiddled with it while I took us through a flock of geese. When the music started it was another song I didn't know so I just listened as the Wolf half-sang along. It had the odd affect of both calming and exciting my nerves. When the next song started up he decided to speak again.

"Alex?" He still said the name with a subtle awkwardness, and I felt strangely guilty.

"Hm?"

"Uh." I looked over at him, anticipating to be overtaken by another intense stare, and I was. But only for a second before he looked away, shaking his head. "Never mind."

As another song died away and we were left in the quietness of the mostly empty park, my ears picked up the sound of the Wolf's quiet, labored breathing, and I remembered he had been running, probably for a while, before I made him climb up a really tall tree and dragged him all around the park. "Are you still tired?" I asked him.

"No," he assured me, "I'm fine."

I thought he was probably lying and was just trying to humor me. We were passing a long grassy slope that led down to the edge of one of the lakes, and an idea formed in my head. "Okay," I sighed exaggeratedly, stopping to rub at all the sore spots on my legs.

"Are you tired?" he asked. There was a funny smile on his face that got me thinking that maybe I had been a little more obvious than I had intended.

"A little," I answered him. "And sore." That part, at least, was not a lie.

"Do you want to stop here for a while?" he said, indicating the slope.

"Okay."

We both crossed the slope diagonally to be near a tree that was a few yards further on. We didn't sit directly under it, since it was on the higher end of the slope. Instead we sat cross-legged closer to the water, keeping it behind us. We also sat, to my surprise and...some other emotions, half-facing each other closer than I think I was ready for. I could even feel heat on the tips of my fingers as they played with the grass directly in front of me. I heard the Wolf lower the IPod so that the songs were barely audible. He was still staring at me with that weird smile. "What?" I asked him. "What is it?"

"You're a terrible actor," he told me, smiling a bit more.

I looked away, embarrassed. "Shut up," I said, and we both laughed. Okay, so I wasn't going to win an Oscar anytime soon. When I looked back he was staring at my hands.

"So do you like the park a lot?" he asked conversationally.

"Yeah," I replied, also looking down at my hands. "Um, I really like being outside. I like having, just, all the space to move around in."

"Do you get claustrophobic indoors?"

"Not really claustrophobic, no. Just, I feel better outside. More, ready."

"Ready for what?" he asked. I hadn't meant to say that. I was being way too honest for my own good. He looked up, and when I did the same our eyes met and we both looked down. We were both acting silly, and it was kind of reassuring, if that makes any sense.

"I'm not really sure," I admitted. "Um, that's just how it feels."

"Huh." In my peripheral vision I could see him nodding his head like he understood. "That's cool."

"What about you?" I asked him.

Our eyes met again briefly, but this time I looked away first, starting back down at my hands to notice that his fingers were now playing in the grass too. My fingers started to burn, but I could take it. "I like the park. I guess, I mean, you could say I'm an outdoorsy person too." He was still looking at me. I smiled at him and he smiled back. "My room, it has a big sliding glass door across the back of it that leads to our backyard. My mom always had a bunch of big plants on the sides and when I was little I would pretend I lived in a jungle or a forest."

"That's so cool," I said, unintentionally gushing a bit.

"You think so?" he asked, grinning even wider at me.

"Yeah," I answered, in a more subdued tone. "I've never had a backyard." Backyards are way cooler to me than I'd ever want to admit.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well I'll have to take you back to my room soon then," he laughed. But it stopped when he saw the way I froze up and realized certain implications of what he had just said. "To see my backyard," he quickly amended.

"Yeah," I agreed, nodding. He was looking at our hands again, frustrated. "That'd be fun," I added, hoping to make him feel better.

It seemed to work. He looked up, smiling a little. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. We could play, jungle safari," I said, eliciting a laugh from the Wolf.

"You'd probably get stuck in quick-sand," he joked.

"I'd pull you in with me," I retaliated.

"You'd try, but I'd be to strong for you to pull me down."

"Fine," I said, "Then I'd use you to pull myself out."

This is the part when he says "Don't worry. I'd hold on tight to you and never let you go."

"Or I could push you in."

"Jerk," I laughed.

"Famous last words," he said, laughing too. "Or word, I guess."

"I want it engraved on my tombstone," I told him. "In quotation marks."

"Hehe, Famous Last Word: 'Jerk!'"

"It's also got to say Death by Jerk. I want to make sure everyone knows it was your fault I died."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure most people would just think you fell in."

"I'm not clumsy," The Wolf gave me a skeptical look. "I'm not, I'm just..." Just? "...impulsive." That's a good word for it. "Anyway, that's why you have to make sure they know the truth." I explained to him.

"Me?"

"Yes you. You're the one that killed me. The least you could do is make sure my wedding-" Why? Why? Why why why why why? "-funeral is perfect."

Some tiny part of me held onto the hope that it would go unacknowledged, but alas it was not to be. "Wedding?" he laughed.

"Funeral!"

"You said wedding!" I hoped he would choke on his laughter. His really great laughter. At least it had not been awkward, I guess.

"Shut up!" I said, burying my face into one of my palms. "'Cause that's what people always say. They want a perfect wedding."

"Girls," he clarified. When his laughter finally died down he continued. "But you want a perfect funeral instead huh?"

"Yes," I said, glad he was done. My fingers returned to the grass, close to his. "It has to be a Hollywood worthy funeral."

"Evil twins, explosions, secret...love affairs?" His ears went deep pink again. If my body were not already experiencing constant thrills at everything he did and said I might have noticed another one twirl through me.

"And then I come back from the dead," I added, smiling.

He sighed. "That could be hard for me to pull off."

"Well you shouldn't have killed me then."

He sighed again with even more exaggeration. "Fiiine. I'll see what I can do."

"Good," I said. "Then I think we got ourselves a movie."

"I'd watch it," he agreed, smiling.

"If only we could find better actors."

"We'll fix it in the editing," he assured me.

We had both stopped paying attention to our hands. They were deafly fiddling in the grass, fingers pulling on the individual blades. And since neither of us were watching them, neither of us had noticed how close they had crept towards each other until we felt the feeling of fur brushing against fur.

This is the part where we look down and then quickly look at each other. We blush from the contact, hands lingering as we stare into each other's eyes, acutely aware of how close our faces have become...

This is the part where I instantly recoil my hand, with no lingering or blushing, instead just a sharp intake of breath. I quickly curl my fingers up into a fist and cover them with my other hand. The Wolf recoils his hands too, and I see his mouth about to form an apology.

"Don't," I said quickly. It sounded much sterner than I thought it would, but I didn't think I could handle an apology right now. "I said your not allowed to apologize remember?" I told him, softer. His mouth closed and instead he settled for a look that was bordering dangerously close to pity. I was not having any of that.

"So speaking of editing," I said, continuing where we left off, "I think we should fix the part where we're in the tree."

"Why? What was wrong with it?" he asked. Except for a one second too long stare at my hand, he did a decent job of acting like nothing had just happened. I let my fingers go back to playing with the grass, but he rested his in his lap.

"The dialogue, for one thing."

He smiled, and even managed a little laugh. "What? You mean your joke?"

"It sucked," I said, somewhere between a groaning sigh and a laugh. It made him laugh some more.

"It didn't suck."

"It could have been better."

"What should you have said then?" he asked me.

I thought about it for a moment. He had said 'Hold on' so... "I should have said, 'Do I have a choice?'"

He smiled."So then I should I have said...uh...'You weren't planning on staying up there forever were you?'"

Then a stroke of brilliance happened. "Actually I just thought I'd come down in the fall." Ha! Get it? 'Cause fall like the season and then fall 'cause we fell! I smiled too widely at my own brilliance.

"Nice," he laughed. "Double meaning."

"Good word play is important to a good script. This movie has to be perfect."

"Yeah...that's...the plan," the Wolf said, mimicking my original dialogue.

I tossed a few blades of grass at his head. "Jerk," I called him again, and we both laughed. I was really starting to like it when we laughed together. It felt easy, natural.

"So then you come back from the dead and have your perfect wedding?"

"Ugh," I cringed at the reminder of my misspeak, "...fine, yes. It was a funeral slash wedding. My love interest was being forced to marry my evil twin by the people who had kidnapped the president. But then I come back, president in hand, and save the day."

"Finally free to walk down the isle in your long lost mother's wedding dress?" he taunted.

"I would look awesome in a wedding dress," I assured him, which made him laugh. "Then someone would sneeze and I pull out a gun from under the dress and point it at him. 'Sorry, force of habit.'"

He laughed. "Okay," he said, "so you say your vows, have your" he paused for just a millisecond, almost unnoticeable, "thing, everyone cheers, big The End sign-"

"And then a question mark," I added.

"And then a question mark," he consented. "Credits start rolling up. What song plays?"

He handed me the I-pod. "Ooh, tough."

"The wrong song could ruin the whole mood," he agreed.

"This has to be dealt with very carefully..." We sat in thoughtful silence for two seconds. Then I closed my eyes and flicked the screen, picking a song at random.

When I opened my eyes again I saw he had cracked a smile. "And the winner is...?" he began, waiting for me to finish.

Oops. "...The Only Exception by Paramore...acoustic version."

The Wolf got another weird little smile as he raised an eyebrow. "Kind of anti-climatic, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but it does end with a wedding scene."

"Great," the Wolf smirked. "So anti-climatic and cheesy?" It made me laugh.

"All the best movies are anti-climatic and cheesy."

"Maybe the ones you watch," he laughed. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Real grown up Fox."

I smiled self-satisfactorily. "Try again?" I asked.

"No," he said, shaking his head, "play it." His eyes lingered on mine for just a moment before he quickly looked back down at the ground. "I like it." He returned his hands to the grass. My face felt hot, but in a normal way.

I raised the volume and pressed play. "Me too," I replied quietly, and he smiled at me.

We stayed like that for a while, sitting and talking in the grass by the water. We talked about songs we liked and books we had read, movies we had seen. Sometimes we talked about nothing, making up more nonsensical hypotheticals and figuring out the details. The park became darker and the air became colder, but I hardly ever noticed that. And it was not just because the Wolf's warm sunshine yellow eyes were shining on me. Being with him was, strange. The darkness instead became a secret place hidden from the rest of the world, just for the two of us, and the cold air was like rope that was trying to pull us towards one another for warmth. I don't know if any of that makes sense, but that was the way it felt to me. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this was really happening, that this wasn't some over elaborate hallucination that my broken mind had created, because I knew that people, smart people, did not feel like this when they first met. And I knew there should be some sort of warning bell going off in my head telling me that I had misinterpreted something and I was making a huge mistake, that I should not to feel this way. But I did feel this way, and I knew he did too.

We talked about school, classes we had liked, classes we didn't. He told me about a time when he had first started college and some of his older friends had led him out into the woods and tried to make him think they were lost. But he had ruined the whole thing by knowing how to get back despite the fact that he had never been in a forest before and their insistence that he was leading them in the wrong direction, which made him seem really incredible to me. I told him about almost falling down the stairs earlier that day, which made him laugh.

There were a few more snags, like once when we had made a bet and he asked me to shake on it, holding his hand out for a good few seconds before realizing why I wasn't taking it. He got frustrated with himself, and I was reminded how difficult something like this could be when I couldn't even shake his hand, and how a normal person wouldn't have this problem. Another one was when he had brought up the first time we saw each other and tried to ask about the bleeding, but it was one of the only things I was able to keep myself from telling him. I prayed so much that my fur would grow back, that at least my body could be normal. The stitches were disfiguring reminders of my stupidity and abnormalities, and I didn't want to risk this, any of this, by showing him the stomach-turning lines on my torso. But he let it drop and we talked about something else.

Eventually we started talking about families, and I learned he had an older brother and a younger sister who was almost my age. His brother lived in a different state, while he and his sister stayed with their parents. His mother ran a small business from home, and his father had been a firefighter but lost his leg in an accident so he couldn't work anymore. It was part of the reason why he was considering becoming one, and I told him how cool I thought that was. I told him about my family, my over-caring mother and my desk-job working father, and my too-mature-for-her-own-good sister. I told him about meeting Max and how he had been my best friend ever since. He told me about some of his friends, and how close he had become with his roommate Kyle, who was a Husky.

I found out he was 21, and I told him I was turning 20 in two weeks, after which Sunshine Eyes wished me a happy early birthday. Best birthday present ever.

The lights had finally turned on, attempting to let us know how late it had become, but neither of us seemed to notice. Or at least, we pretended not to. I felt, happy, sitting here with the Wolf like we had all the time in the world. I didn't want to think about the time though. I didn't want to think about what would happen when our time was up.

I just wanted this to be forever.

There were a few ducks by the edges of the water to our left that had settled in for the night, and I wondered what it would feel like to sleep by tucking your long neck under your wing.

"Is it really that comfortable?" I asked.

"It must be," he answered. "Otherwise they wouldn't be able to sleep."

"Hmm...." I still wasn't sure.

"Speaking of sleeping..." He turned away from me, lying down on his back with his hands behind his head. "What if we just slept here tonight?"

"Here?" I asked, trying not to forget why it would be a bad idea to touch his splayed out form.

"Yeah." he said. "It's quiet. The grass is nice and soft. We can just lie back and watch the clouds until we fall asleep..." he was staring at me with another one of his far away looks, but this time it was like he was bringing me with him. "...Just you and me."

I could picture it as easily as if it had actually happened. Just the two of us, lying side by side on the grass under a moonlit sky, eyes only for each other. And the way he looked at me, made me feel like he meant it. Like he thought something as simple as lying side be side on the grass really was something that he really wanted to do. It felt like he just wanted to be with me.

This is the part where I accept his invitation and lie down next to him. He gently plays with just the very tip of a lock of hair, a burning I can barely feel as we stare into each others eyes, letting the world slip away...

This is the part where I'm too damn rational for my own good. "I have school tomorrow," I reminded him. "And it's probably going to rain tonight."

"Then we can sleep under a tree," he said, closing his eyes. "And you can just ditch school."

It was sooo tempting. "You're a bad influence," I told him, which made him smirk, which made me laugh a little. "Big Bad Wolf," I mumbled.

"Got any goodies on you riding hood?" he laughed. "I'm not so bad am I?"

"No," I agreed, "you're not. Big Not-So-Bad Wolf."

"Little Not-So-Red Riding Hood," he countered. How awesome would it be if I was red though?

"My, Grandma, what a big head you have."

"All the better to 'contemplate' things with my dear," he said, giving me a little thrill when he called me dear.

"And what short hair you have."

He laughed some more. "Well it's not really a fair contest against you."

"Why did you cut it?" I asked.

At this he opened his eyes and looked at me quizzically. "What do you mean? I always have it this long."

No he didn't. Yes he did. His hair was the exact same length last week. It hadn't changed at all. So why did I say that? "Uh...I don't, really know what I mean," I admitted. "I think I'm just going crazy. Er."

He just laughed quietly and looked up at the sky. "You're a weird Fox, Alex," he said not unkindly. By now we were barely even pretending that he thought Alex was my real name, but he hadn't yet asked so I hadn't corrected him.

"Well you're a weird Wolf."

"How am I weird?"

"You climbed up a really tall tree when you sucked at climbing," I reminded him. "To help someone you barely even knew."

"That doesn't make me weird," he insisted. "That just means I'm a model citizen. Fire-fighter in training, you know?"

"You're parents must be so proud," I teased. It might not have been such a great idea though, because when he answered his voice had sobered some.

"Hmm. My dad yeah...my mom..." he trailed off. I got the impression that I might be treading on dangerous territory.

"Um...not so thrilled?" I offered.

"Yeah...My dad, he had his accident on the job. So now she thinks the same thing will happen to me..."

I felt like I could understand his mother's position. The thought of something bad happening to Sunshine Eyes, of his light going out, was unbearable. "Or worse," I added without thinking. He looked at me curiously and I realized why that might not have been such a smart thing to say, especially just then. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"It's okay, Alex." At first I thought he meant I didn't have to apologize, but his tone almost sounded like he was actually trying to comfort me. And then he released one of his hands and reached for another lock of my hair.

His movements were slow and deliberate, giving me the opportunity to stop him if I wanted to. But I didn't. Before, at the club, Roy had been touching me for a while and I had barely felt it until later. I can get better, I told myself. I will get better.

This is the part where he grabs onto a lock of my hair and any moment I know the burn will come. One second. Two seconds. There is no burn...

This is the part where he grabs onto a lock of my hair and I feel the burn instantly. I try to take it. One second. One more second.

Stop.

Then it is too much and he lets go as I pull back away from his hand.

Damn it.

I looked down and hid my face with my hair. I had thought it would work. I don't know why, but I really did. I could feel my eyes starting to sting and it was all I could do to hold back the failure rushing through my body. Failure and fear of never getting better. Not even for Sunshine Eyes.

"Alex?" I heard him say. I looked up and saw that he had sat back up and was now staring at me with his yellow eyes. His beautiful sunshine yellow eyes that that left me feeling so exposed, seeing everything that was wrong with me, even causing me to finger at the stitches under my shirt. But he still hadn't left yet. "Are you okay?"

No, not really. Not at all really. But better maybe, with you here.

"Yeah," I tried to sound convincing, but I couldn't meet his eyes. "Sort of."

"...Alex?" he asked again, his voice silently asking me to look at him.

"Hm?" I questioned, still trying and failing to sound fine. I managed to peak at him, just long enough to reply before looking back down at the ground. My fingers pulled at the now almost completely decimated earth.

"Why can't I touch you? You don't...have to tell me," he said. "Not if you don't want to. I just, I want to know..."

When there are things wrong with you, there are questions you have to learn to live with. "It's not just you," I answered him, half hoping he would change the subject. Just because I had to live with them, didn't mean I liked having to answer them. Curiosity can kill more than just cats after all.

"I know," he replied simply. He waited patiently for me to continue.

I thought that as long as I didn't look him in the eye, he couldn't make me spill my guts, but I guess now just being around him was all it took. "Um...I don't know why, exactly..." I began, my voice quiet.. "...When I was younger...I remember being held by my mother, and holding my baby sister...Touching wasn't a problem for me before." I tried finally looking him in the eyes to see if they would make telling him easier. But they just sort of unnerved me more. "...When I started getting older, eight or nine maybe...I don't know. I guess,...my mother had told me I would move around in my sleep, like I was having nightmares, but I would never remember anything...it lasted a month I think. Then whenever my mother would try to hold my hand or give me a hug, I'd feel hot...not burning like it does now, just like...I was suffocating or something...like I was standing in an oven...She took me to a doctor, but they said there was nothing wrong with me and that it might just be a faze...When they said that I thought they meant like I was just making it up...But then a year went by, and I still wouldn't let people touch me... My mother tried a therapist, but it was expensive and it didn't seem to go anywhere. No one knew what was wrong with me...and neither did I. I just knew that there was something wrong with me...I wasn't normal...I think my parents still blame themselves for making feel that way..." His face was worried, or pitying. It was a normal reaction, I supposed, though Max and my family were the only other people who knew all the details so I couldn't really be sure. I kept going, the Wolf's presence not letting me stop. "...Eventually any kind of touch would burn...um, I don't...I don't think I even really remember what normal touching feels like...Once when I needed to get a physical before starting high school I ended up kicking a doctor in the stomach while I was sitting on their counter thing cause his fingers had touched my chest..."

The Wolf's eyes were searching my face intently. "So it, started when you started having nightmares?"

"I, um...I think so. I don't remember having any nightmares though. Um, sometimes I think I even remembered having normal dreams, but..." I shrugged weakly.

"...So no one can touch you at all?" he asked. His voice betrayed nothing, like he was asking the time of day. Which was good, I guess.

"...Not really...Sort of, it depends...Some people don't hurt as much as others...Max was the only one of my friends who didn't get weirded out by me, and now his touches hurt the least...I think I just got used to him...My family is tolerable, in small doses, and if I'm ready for it. Strangers usually hurt the most..." I watched for any reaction, but his face still didn't tell me anything so I continued. "...The more contact involved the more it burns...Sometimes, it's not so bad when it's indirect...you know, through clothes and stuff...but...not always"

I stopped talking then, waiting for his response, terrified of what it might be. We sat in silence while he absorbed all of it, the quietness of the park finally becoming deafening until it was broken by his question. "So...if I wanted too...hold your hand...?"

"...It probably wouldn't go so well..." Hold my hand?

Tell The Truth.

"With you..." I didn't want to. He was talking about holding my hand, so just let me shut up! But I knew this time I wasn't going to be able to fight the words in my head. "...With you, it hurts...More than anyone else I've ever known."

Through horrified eyes I could see the look of hurt form on his face at my words. I could even almost see the questions running through his mind. The same ones that were running through mine.

Where did that leave us?

I looked back down at the ground, unable to take his expression any longer. I waited for him to pull away, to take back the last few hours, now realizing he had made a huge mistake. I wasn't worth it. Another part of me wished for him to tell me none of that mattered, that he cared about me, and wanted to care about me, even if he could never express it physically.

Everything suddenly felt completely reliant on this one final, pivotal moment. It seemed like forever before he spoke again, and the sound of his voice almost made me jump.

"Do you...do you still want to see me?"

Do I still want to see him? But that meant...

That meant he still wanted to see me.

I smiled.

And then I laughed little.

Hell I laughed even more.

I almost cheered and jumped for joy.

I also almost forgot to answer.

"Yeah." Yes. Yes, yes! It felt like saying yes to a wedding proposal. The stupidest wedding proposal in history. As if he was the one who had just shared a giant flaw in his ability to function normally. As if he was the one who would be difficult to be with.

But he was the one who wanted to try. He was the one who wanted to be with me. I could have hugged him. Or more. Okay yeah, or more.

"Then...can I see you again tomorrow?" he asked, now trying to contain his own ear-to-ear smile.

"Yeah," I said again. And the next day and the next day and all the days after that.

He nodded his head happily. "Cool," he replied, and he didn't even try to take it back.

"Cool," I agreed.

Just two idiots with stupid smiles stuck to our faces, both of us trying to keep our grins in check. He pulled out his phone and checked the time, the rest of the world falling back into place behind us, now that at least our near future seemed more certain. "It's getting late," he said, though it had been late for a good long while now. "Can I give you a ride?"

"Okay," I replied, having been reverted back to single word answers.

The walk to the car was quiet, his IPod having long since died, but neither of us seemed to mind. We passed a disheveled looking Rabbit and an unusually tall Mouse on our way to his car, making it almost seem like there were more people in the park now than there had been earlier. Maybe everyone else was feeling like they could run a marathon too.

Everything had just sort of turned out awesomely. The Wolf let me open up to him and hadn't rejected me and he had stayed and he wanted to see me again and everything was awesome. And I mean, this was it! It may not have happened as smoothly as it might have in a movie or something, but that was more than okay.

...wasn't it?

"You still have a twig in your hair," he told me as we got closer to the parking lot. He pointed to a spot on my head, careful not to touch it, and I pulled it out.

"Thanks. Stupid hair," I complained, make him chuckle.

"I like you're hair," he replied quietly. His ears were pink and mine were about to follow suit. I smiled and tried no to giggle like a school girl.

"You do?"

"Yeah," he confessed. "It's, uh...pretty. I like you with long hair." He thought my hair was pretty. This was definitely more than okay. "It actually....it makes me happy that you have long hair."

I laughed a little, and if you wanted to you could try and stretch your imagination far enough and think that it maybe kind of sort of sounded slightly similar to a giggle. "Why's that?" I asked him.

"Uh, heh, I'm not really sure," he answered.

"Such a weird Wolf," I mumbled, making him laugh

"Such a frustrating little Fox."

"I'm almost as tall you," I insisted.

"Really?" he asked, stepping just slightly closer to me. My eyes barely came up to his neck. Did I mention he was wearing a black, tight, sleeveless and aptly named muscle shirt?

"Close enough," I mumbled again.

He smiled with self-satisfaction. "Whatever you say," he said as we continued walking. His fingers rubbed over his bare shoulders as a cold breeze blew. His minimal clothing in this cold weather was something I had thought about, but I hadn't asked him about it because I thought that if I did he would have realized how late it had become and might have considered leaving sooner. Now it was safe to ask though.

"Aren't you cold?"

He shook his head. "It's not a big deal. And I have a jacket in the car."

"Why didn't you get it earlier?" I asked, curious, though I was glad that he hadn't. It would have been the normal thing to do though.

"Uh...Well, I didn't really, notice it before," he stated quietly.

"You mean, when we were talking?"

"Yeah," he confirmed bashfully. "I guess...I just wasn't thinking about it with you." Then he laughed self-consciously and shook his head. "It's crazy..." He almost looked confused.

...What was he confused about?

"What is?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "This...you and... just...it all kind of happened so fast, and...you know?"

Oh. That was what he was confused about....

...I was a little confused about it too.

"Yeah," I agreed.

When we reached the car he pulled out a grass-green, hoodless jacket from the trunk. It looked more like a coat, though I was not exactly sure what the differences were, but it had a small collar or lapel thing, whatever they're called. It looked awkwardly mismatched with his running shorts as he came around to the passenger side.

"What?" he asked, noticing my smile as he popped in the last button, securing the flap over the zipper.

"You look funny," I told him, "with the fancy jacket and the shorts."

"Oh," he said, looking down at himself before leaning against the car. "Do I not live up to your dress code, Alex?" he used a funny pronunciation for my name again.

"No it doesn't, -" My lips quivered, about to make a sound, until I realized I didn't know what sound to make. A moment of confusion on the Wolf's face turned into understanding as he realized the same thing I just had.

"I don't know your name," I stated flatly.

This whole time, this whole day not once did it even occur to me that I had no idea what his name was. I thought I knew, or, no, I felt like I knew. He had just seemed so integrated into my life, I hadn't even noticed. Sometimes you can go days without calling someone by their name, but that doesn't mean you don't know it. Except I really didn't know it. Had I just been content with calling him Sunshine Eyes? No, that wasn't it. Otherwise I would have noticed earlier.

Or maybe not. Names aren't all that important, are they? His name could be Katrina for all I cared. It wouldn't change the way I felt.

...But I didn't even know his name.

His face looked surprised, like maybe he hadn't noticed this oversight either. "...You didn't ask," he replied, his voice sounding confused.

"I didn't," I repeated, as if admitting it could help me understand why.

The Wolf seemed to recover to some degree. "I don't actually know your name either though," he said in a more conversational voice than before, "unless you're going to tell me your name really is Alex."

Well, that was out in the open now. "It could be," I replied, finally starting to get over some of my confusion.

He searched my face for a second before laughing a bit. "Okay," he said, nodding his head once, "so what could my name be?"

What he did not know was that I already had a name picked out for him. But it was way too embarrassing to even consider telling him what it was. But, of course, the embarrassment showed clear as day on my face and he called me on it.

"What?" he asked, grinning widely. "You already have one for me?"

Keep your face still. Reveal nothing.

"You do?" Damn it. "You have to tell me!"

No, absolutely not....No!...It wasn't fair! He was staring at me with his stupid eyes and making me feel weird! He was cheating!

I looked away, knowing what I was going to say, dreading every second leading up to it. "It's 'cause of your eyes," I admitted, face boiling hot despite the cold air.

"My eyes?"

"They're yellow. But not like gold yellow like other Wolves. They're like, bright yellow."

"So, yellow eyes or...?"

"No, um..." Everything sucked.

"I won't laugh," he assured me. "I promise. Please?"

As if I could say no to this stupid damn Wolf. "...In my head. I've been calling you..."

"...You've been calling me...?"

I breathed out a sigh of defeat. "...I've been calling you, Sunshine Eyes."

One side of his mouth shot up, but true to his word he did not laughed. "Sunshine Eyes?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah. You're eyes...um..." Well, I had one foot in the grave already. "...I like them."

He looked away now, embarrassed, but smiling. "Okay." He looked back at me for a second before looking away at the ground between us. "So you can be Alex, and, I'll be...Sunshine Eyes."

It sounded so weird hearing it out loud, it made me laugh. It looked like we didn't even need to know each others' names. Names weren't really all that important anyway. So stop doubting it. Rose by any other name and all that jazz, right?

"I like your eyes too," he said softly when I had finished laughing.

"I thought you said they were freaky," I reminded him. No, really, stop doubting it.

"I said they freaked me out," he laughed, "and they do. But...sometimes in a good way."

...Sometimes?

"But they're pretty too," he offered, "Like your hair."

This is the part where I call him out on the word 'sometimes.' He quickly tries to amend it. "N-no! That's not what I meant," he stutters. It makes me laugh and he realizes I was just kidding. We move past it like it was nothing, because it was nothing.

This is the part where his compliments read differently the second time around. I don't know why though. From anyone else they would sound like lines; Hollow, and meaningless. But I knew they weren't, because the Wolf wouldn't use meaningless lines on me. I knew him better than that.

In the one day we knew each other, I felt like I knew him better than that.

Less than one day.

And without having ever learned each other's names.

Don't do this. Why had my instincts been telling me to get away from him? What was it about today that had filled me with so much dread earlier? Something in the back of my mind was trying to register.

"What time is it?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

His hand reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Wow, 10:12. Should we get going?" he asked, pushing off from the car.

Please don't do this. "Maybe I should take the bus," I told him. "Shouldn't get in the car with strangers, you know?"

"Well I'm not really a stranger anymore am I?" he asked, chuckling, not really taking me seriously.

No, not anymore...

But you were, so...that's why...

"Sort of," I said, not looking him in the eyes. Something about my answer or my tone of voice, or probably both, made him stop and look at me.

"...What do you mean?"

"I just...I think I should take the bus," I repeated.

"Uh...I mean...Are there even anymore buses this late?" he asked, confused.

"One," I informed him. "At 10:30."

"Oh..." he said, trying to process what was happening. Weren't we blushing and laughing barely even a minute before? "I can take you though, it's no problem."

I shook my head, staring at the interior of his car through the window. "...I should take the bus." Please, please don't do this. I took a step away from him.

Seeing this he quickly interjected. "A-Alex wait." I could hear the confusion in his voice escalating into something else. I needed to get away. "Just, wait let me...I mean, I'll walk you to the bus stop then or..." Please stop this.

"No I..." My voice was starting to tremble now. "I just...I need to go."

"Alex...what's wrong? What's going on?" His voice sounded lost, confused, not understanding what was happening.

"...I can't...."

"...Can't what?"

I don't want to do this! "...I can't...do this."

That seemed to grant him a bit of clarity.

He suddenly looked like he had just been slapped in the face. It made me hate myself. "I, I-I don't..." His eyes searched my undeserving face for some sort of answer. "I mean...did I do something wrong?"

No, not really. I did though. "I just...I can't." I shook my head and took another step away.

"Alex no." He took a step as if to come back toward me, but stopped himself. "Wait wait wait," His voice was starting to shake. "I thought..." Stop!

I started backing away from him.

"No. No no Alex, wait please." His voice was definitely shaking now. Confused and scared and shaking. I felt my eyes begin to sting. I took more steps back. "Wait please! I-I don't-what did I, please! Stop just, wait!"

I shook my head again. Words were gone now. My vision was blurry too. I tried to say I'm sorry, but all that came out were empty half-formed lip movements and a whimper as I took one last look at his pleading, bright, sunshine yellow eyes. Look at him! Stop!

"Please! I don't-Please!..."

Then I ran away as quickly as I could.

I heard my voice screaming at me in my head. Turn around! Stop being a fucking mental fucker and turn around! Please! Everything, the howling winds blowing leaves in my face, the suffocating darkness swirling angrily in my peripheral vision, the animals in the trees and the bushes, they were all yelling at me to stop. Everything but the voiceless words in my head, the ones louder than anything else.

Get Away From Him.

I didn't want to. I begged it to let me turn around. But I couldn't fight it.

This is the part where he calls after me and finally I am able to turn around, when he comes up behind me and stares into my eyes before kissing me, with a big movie worthy shot of him holding onto me and never letting me go.

Please.

Please call my name.

Any name.

Please.

Please please please.

Let this be that part of the story.

The bus is empty this late at night. The entire ride all I can think about is how I never saw his car leave the parking lot while waiting for the bus. In the more than 15 minutes after I had left him standing there, begging for me not to go, he had never even left the park.

I had never gotten his number, or gave him mine. I didn't know where he lived or what day he was leaving. He was gone, and I had no good chance of finding him again. All I had now was the memory of that last destroyed look on his face and the sound of his voice ringing in my ears.

...I can catch you, trust me... ...Um, do you want to go get water with me...

...So...your date couldn't make it... ...Cool... ...I don't mind keeping you company...

...Um, you know. I like walking with you... ...With you...I mean it's like...

...comfortable... ...Cool...

...Evil twins, explosions, secret...love affairs...

...What if we just slept here tonight... ...Just you and me...

...So...if I wanted too...hold your hand... ...Then...can I see you again tomorrow...

...Cool...

...Such a frustrating little Fox...

...I mean...did I do something wrong...

...Alex no, wait wait wait...

...I-I don't-what did I, please!...

...Please!...

**********

At home I stand staring at myself in the bathroom mirror. Years and years I had seen it happen. Two people who get so caught up in hormones and feelings that they rush in without truly getting to know who the other person is, and they put everything into a relationship that was doomed from the start. At first everything is wonderful because the feelings of attraction hide all the little and not so little signs that they are not right for each other. Then when it starts to fade they make excuses because they're too afraid to let go of what they have, certain they can fix it somehow. But they had never taken the time to first see if there was even a chance to make a real, lasting connection, and under that pressure whatever connection they had managed to build breaks. The relationship ends, time that they can never get back wasted on something that was never really real and never really had a chance.

But the heartbreak is real. The pain and the loneliness and the devastation are real no matter what. All because they were so desperate for love they took it from the first person willing to offer it. And that was dangerous. Sometimes there are people who take advantage of them, filling their heads with sweet nothings and promises of never ending attraction. They'll listen to your problems, tell you their own, even meet your families and wait months when their only intention is self-gratification, whether that meant sex, money, or just an outlet for affection. Being around you makes me happy. You're beautiful. I've never felt like this before. I love you. Words are easy to say. Anyone can say them.

But I was smarter. I was going to make sure the first time I let myself love someone it would be the real thing. My first love would be my one true love. I knew the kind of person I was. I knew there was no way I would be able to endure heartbreak. I was going to wait until I knew I had found my soul mate.

And then, in less than a day, I had run heart-first into something with a Wolf I barely even knew. I had fallen into that trap just like everyone else. And what I found terrified me. How could that feeling be real when we had just met? But then, how could something that consuming be fake? How could it fade away with time?

So I panicked. And I ran.

The Wolf wasn't one of the bad ones. Maybe he could have been. But there was no way I could believe that. I couldn't believe he would do that to me on purpose. In reality though I had no way of knowing.

But what if he really hadn't been a bad one? That meant he might have felt just as strongly as I did. So right now he might feel just as horrible as I did. Like the whole world had become hollow and stale.

Like someone had taken away the all the sunshine.

That would make two of us. Well, now I learned my lesson. I was not going to let this happen again.

Both Joseph and the Wolf had said they thought my hair was pretty. Physical attraction was not the only factor, but maybe without it they would have been less inclined to try to build something with me that was doomed for failure.

I picked up the silver scissors from the sink and started cutting.

**********

So, happy late valentine's day special! Oh Todd you mental nutcase you. Look at my journal for stuff.

So yeah, pacing still freaks me out. Meh. What do you guys think? :D Also, is it too cheesy when I reference specific songs?

Also also, you don't have to favorite and vote 5 on this but, you know...just putting that out there...

Okay I got to go cause at the time of writing this my friend is outside waiting and I still need to get dressed. So telling you this probably isn't the right thing to do...unless you have something you want to talk about?

No?

Okay, bye.