Morgana the vampiress
Morgana the vampiress
Darkness seems to float around her,coldness ,as is death itself were walking towards you.
The Great Archives determine she has gone by the identity:
Marchioness of The Orient
Known in some parts of the world as:
Isis of The Howling Wolves
The Great Archives Record:
Hot of blood and running wild with the hungry wolves.
She is now the sole owner of the Other Side.
She likes many things and prefers not to
speak to ones who only wish
for sex.
She will rise with the moon,to rule the night.Lurking in the shadows
Till the morning light.
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Morgana is my main vampire character. She is a petite brunette, with an innocent angelic face. Her skin is like ivory, & silky smooth. Her eyes, black and thick as oil, were haunting. Sometimes you could see endlessly into them, most often you saw nothing but fire within them. She was an emotionally powerful & a devilishly clever vamp. She used her looks to provide luxuries, therefore maintaining quite a lavish lifestyle. She was charming, yet wicked, innocent yet seductive as hell & meticulous in killing her prey. She was indeed, the drama queen of the coven. Her townhouse in New York was an old rennovated clock tower. It was the perfect domain for her. She said that was the only way she could keep track of time was to live so closely to it in a sense.
She was born in France. She spent most of her mortal life there harboring a great passion for the place. She had a magnetic aura about her. Her eyes would draw you in, make you reveal secrets...her presence was like truth serum. She would make a dramatic event out of entering each chronicle of her diary. She lit candles, played the perfect music, completely creating a mood for it. Her journal entries document her exciting vampiric life. How betrayal and deceit lurks in the shadows, for many vampires. Her journals give insight to very limited knowledge, her thoughts, feelings, and her point of view. Trust wasn't offered to anyone, so her friendship didn't come easily. She loathed liars. She had absolutely zero tolerance for them.
Morgana loved everything unusual, and collected unique things. She had a passion for gargoyles, and collected all kinds. Crystal balls, and interesting little books adorned her place, tarot cards, ritual candles and incenses laid around on dimly-lit tables. Mostly, the things she collected were of European culture, or at least handed down through European cultures. She loved the strange & unique. Her place was like a museum, always seeing something new with every vist.
But not often has there been written, an interesting tale of a sexy, yet intelligent & cunning, female vampire. Set in a pettite 5'3 frame, our vampiress shares her travels, and experiences. Through her own eyes, experience the erotica of a female vampire's life.
Her vampiric life began at the hands of Davidson Greggory, our entire coven's maker. Her demise begins in 1942. She lived in the Frnech Quarter of New Orleans at the time. She suffered the loss of her pilot husband during the war, combined shortly thereafter by the loss of their unborn child. Little did she know that her entire existence was preconceived & unbeknownst to her. Davidson had been keeping a watchful eye on Jessica for many years, she was a decendant of his ancestors & truly one of his kind. He waited until she reached the perfect age to bring her over. It happened to be very bad timing, she had already planned her life, filling it with the things she thought were the meanings of life. She had filled her life with the things that were accepted in society. She knew little of the dark world that would ultimately fulfill her life. She had been driven to the edge of sanity, and chose to take her life. Davidson knew how emotional she was & therefore she would try to take her life. He waited for the right moment to bestore his dark gift upon her. He was outside her bathroom window when she slit the first wrist. The hot water in the tub helped the process & she was quickly weakened to a point of dellirium. He beckoned to her from outside the window, to invite him into her domain. Jessica thought is was the voice of an angel coming to take her. She obligued, asking him to come to her. He grinned deviously & stepped in through the open window.
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I began my descent into the darkness in a rather unique way.Davidson Greggory, my maker, came to me on what was to be my suicide. I was a wife and young mother-to-be in the 1940's. While fighting the war, my husband was killed during his tour of duty. I grieved, immensely, the loss of my husband. Then the ultimate happened, I lost our unborn child too, as a result of the terrible grief from which I was suffering. Weeks had passed as I contemplated what future I could possibly have with no one to love or no one to love me. The whole world sickened me, more & more consuming me like a savage terminal illness. Over the edge sanity and drawing a hot bath, I began a note. Telling the world of my demise...I signed my name & slipped into the hot water. Oddly it felt relaxing, making my morbid task seem somewhat easier. I retreived the blade from my departed husband's razor & made an incision. My tears flowed from my eyes, like the blood from my wrists, as I whimpered how much I missed my loved ones.
At the edge of death and lying in my dilluted blood, a shrouded dark figure appeared before me. His long, thick, curly blonde locks of hair spilled over his shoulders, much like that of a lion's mane. I thought his presence to be that of an angel, his face appeared so soothing & comforting. He told me he could help me, informing me that the choice was mine. Dillusions of death taunted me, and out of fear, I cried for him to save me.
My next reccollection of events was foggy, clouded somehow, for time seemed to have stood still. My eyes fluttered open, realizing I was in a mausoleum. The dim glow of a candle illuminated the cold marble room, casting shadows about. I gasped at each, thinking I saw them move, my vision seemed peculiar,but somehow more crisp & clear. I felt dizzy & there was a constant pulse beating in my ears. Then, out of the shadows, Davidson stepped forth. A pain like no other consumed me. I cried out as I felt my guts wrenching & twisting inside. The clearest memory was that of my tiny feet on the cold floor as I walked toward Him, not knowing where I was going or why.
"What have you done to me?" I screamed. "This is a fate worse than death itself!" with a hint of desparation.
He sat at the edge of the bed, gently caressing my brow. I did not understand, but I could smell the blood within his wrist, as he touched me. I was being overwelmed by my senses. They seemed magnified 1,000 times. The trees were alive...I felt I saw everything around me, breathing. It was undescribable to mortals. He pricked his wrist gently allowing some blood to surface. I lunged at it, then recoiled, for I felt completely confused. Why did I desire & crave the blood? I cried even more in confusion.
"Drink, child." he whispered softly.
And it was then that I began my descent into immortality.
He spent the entire night telling me what was to happen, what I would be, and why. He said through my new eyes I would see the beauty & joy my former life had not given me. He spoke of a new appreciation for things & that I would grow strong & knowledgable. He spoke how most mortals live life so carelessly, they take it for granted. He assured me I would find in my new life, what I felt I had lost in my old one. I felt impowered by this, it made me feel more alive than I had ever felt. The key to my entire existence lie within the power & knowledge I would soon learn. I had to become wise & discreet. He promised never to be too far away, that he would protect me always & forever. I was free to learn & discover my new self, free to find love he said, if I so shall. I must say that at the moment, it was the furthest thing from my mind. I spent the entire night absorbing my new surroundings, and taking in my very last sunrise.
Little did I know it was a well laid plan. I was already to inherit the dark gift, it was basically written as far as Davidson was concerned. He had been watching me for years and I never knew. I was a descendant of his enthic heritage, an ancestor. He wanted to bring me over at precisely the perfect time. It was unfortunate, however, that the time had been when I thought I was about to be the happiest woman alive. The things I thought would make me happy in reality, turned against me, hurting me, and haunting me for eternity. I thought I would never love again, so to end it only made sense to me. I did not know, when Davidson came to me on that damp night, that it was all a part of his sinister plan. I was blind to the politics of the vampire world. But just the same, I was thrust headlong, right into the middle of it. Davidson had carried out the entire scenario of my so-called life, and I did not know this for many, many years. He chose to keep it a secret from me. I think if I had known sooner, things would've been very different. But at the time I found this out, I soaked it all in, as though I were grateful to learn of my heritage. I felt pride.
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As it began, he resembled that of a patriarch to our coven. Davidson Greggory was our teacher & mentor. We obeyed & learned from him. We grew to love him undoubtedly, each in our own way. He gave a new life to me, the twins and Stefan. We all saw him in much the same way. But the others were less perceptive as I. I saw things beneath his surface that the others did not. We bonded because of it. I shared an extra bonus side to him to which the others were not even aware. He would instruct us, and show us how to be cunning & insightful, knowledgable. He taught us how to sense the emotions of others & use to our advantage. He felt knowledge was as great a defense as was our strength & thirst. He felt it was important to out-smart any enemy, if nothing more. Years of instruction we endured from him. We never complained, it was done in such a way that we enjoyed it. Like a hands-on training, kinda thing. ( giggles)
He encouraged each of us to blossom into beautiful people. Each were unique in different ways & he loved that about us as a whole. He loved the variety in all of our personalities. That was the only thing we had in common, we were all so unique. He settled arguments and mended mistakes. He was one extraordinary vampire. He shared very little about his personal side with the others. After years had passed, he began to open up to me more & more. I treasured it, for I felt it was a rare gift. I looked up to him so much, I felt honored that he chose me in which to share himself. I had so much respect for him, because he was so honest and showed me how to use honesty in the way it was meant to be used. He documented his life, travels, and emotions into a journal. I adopted the same habit although I had been doing it in silence for years.
He had many lovers, I gathered, from his behavior. He had no trouble attracting women...or men for that matter. Either sex was mesmerized by his presence. He captured the essence of a genderless soul. He was an extraordinary human being. He endulged in many varieties of people, as though the world & everyone in it was his box of chocolates. He had taken in a young man, Stefan, and taught him as well. It bothered me that he would choose a companion like Stefan in which to share his private world. It often created a rivalry between Stefan and me. As if it needed any extra encouragement. I just couldn't understand why he wanted such a baphoon around. I guess everyone has a reason for what they do...I just hadn't figured that one out as of yet. My devotion for him shined through the roughest of times. And only in the end would he see just how far my devotion would ultimately go. I would lay down & die for him, just to spare him any pain. The world would not be the same without Davidson in it. I was his little drama queen, he loved how exciting I made everything around for us. I gathered everyone together most of the time, taking care of the goodies & transportation. I took care of Davidson, as though he were royalty. He adored the attention. But each of us made our own dramamtic entrances to the club, too many of us were conceited & hogged the spotlight. I suppose I came across as a jealous lover when he showed another attention. I didn't mean too, I felt like a protector moreso, than some kind of jealous lover. Maybe he had taught me too well, and now I could foresee what lie ahead for him when he could not. Making true the statement, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. And it doesn't always turn out exactly how you wish.
I suppose he could tell you he had one true love, maybe. I loathed the idea of his heart being stolen by one not so worthy. Because I hated it so, I should have been better prepared for what lie ahead. He often spoke on one woman in particular. At first, I didn't mind it. But over many years I would see just how wrong she was for him. I could not crack him to see what was really going on inside. He kept it locked away from anyone, not just me. I began to feel that he was only revealing what he wanted me or the others to know. He was the last one I thought who could literally lose it. He was so together, I thought nothing would ever change him. I thought nothing could change him. Late, in the hours before dawn, I would sneak into his study, pour myself a brandy & read through his books. It just felt comfortable being in there. I'm sure he always knew, with remnants of cigarettes & brandy filling the room, how could he not? But he never questioned, knowing I had not disturbed anything private, I assume. He knew, as well as I, that if I had a question, I could come to him and ask, knowing he would give me a straight & honest answer. So my sneaking into his study wasn't like rifling through his personal things. Besides, his diaries were well-hidden, and I wasn't ready to learn what could be written in them.
It was hard to watch someone make mistakes & not say or do anything to prevent them from happening. I thought that was the idea behind having close friends, to watch out for you. But he began to overlook my concern, pretend nothing was wrong, when I knew different. I could have picked out 1,000 women more suitable for him than the one that ultimately did steal his heart. I knew from the beginning she would either break his heart or break the man. Maybe she would do both, and for that....I loathed her. I envisioned the dissection of a frog, as Davidson. Slowly, he is cut open to reveal the secrets that lie inside, never to be put together in quite the same way that he was in the beginning. It was blasphemy, at her hands.
It never occurred to me that the entire existence of our coven could have been a carefully articulated plan. Each step he took was scheduled, as though he were making a pattern. After all the years of preparation, was he grooming me only to ultimately cut me loose someday? Had he built the coven for me to bond with & take on the matriarch role after he left? I was beginning to feel the pressure creeping up on me. I often wondered if I was only upset because I had not hand picked her myself for him. Would I have behaved differently if I had chosen his ultimate love? I was left to wonder...was anything we shared truly real? My mind recalled a mortal memory in a flash, I remembered the night I found out there wasn't a Santa Claus. I was devasted as a child. It was something I believed to be so real, pure & hopeful....to be shattered by the lie. It was a piece of the mountain of things that drove me to my would-be suicide. And there my angel came to me....Davidson. I wept as the memories flooded my mind like the tears from my dark eyes.
His absences were subtle at first. He stayed mainly with us. I began to notice he disappeared only at certain times of the year. And he was extremely private about his whereabouts, only Stefan would possibly know. I knew he was quite a distance away, I could feel how far away sometimes, even if he would be standing close to me. We shared so many things & I respected him so much, that it literally killed me inside to watch him slowly disappear. The man I knew, respected, learned from, and ultimately loved, one day came to no longer exist. I saw the shell of the man, I once knew. I never experienced a pain quite like it. Difficult to watch the principle in which our relationship was built upon, now crumble beneath itself, detonated by lies. My blood would boil at the mere thoughts that he could have even thought for one second he was not betraying me in some way. I never thought, in my wildest dreams, anything would ever break our bond. But I now questioned that. My whole existence was in question. What was I doing with all of them? Was I co-dependant on Davidson or any of the coven for that matter? I thought it odd to find such comfort sometimes in being absolutely alone. But now all of a sudden it made perfect sense to me. I grinned, shaking my head yes, in a semi-stoned state of mind, gazing lazily. It made sense. I had taken it for granted, for so many years, the fact that he would never be out of my life. So when it actually began happening, I could not believe it. He was choosing a life, in complete contradiction to everything he taught us. I wanted to choke him to death. I was so angry that he could honestly think he could live out those silly mortal fantasies he chased around in his head. How & when did he become so blind?
Not only did these thoughts & feelings about him emerge, but I watched his relationships with everyone slowly collapse. He quit going around Cat, and that's what told me there was something really wrong. He never avoided Cat. But something inside told me I didn't know everything about him and Cat. It wasn't what it seemed, something just didn't add up to me. Slowly everything I thought I knew about him steadily went downhill. I saw things in him I never thought I would live long enough to see, but never say never. Remember that one.
As I watched the downfall of the coven, it never occured to me Davidson would follow the same path. It was the last thought I had in the beginning of our relationship. But it was materializng before my very eyes. My only choice was to turn to Cat. Everything Davidson had stood for, was bogus. How could he be unaware of what was happening to all of us by his own hands? He had to be aware, he was denying it, this I knew within the core of my being. I would have to turn my back on him, the last thing I thought I would ever do. But I was not the only one. As far as I was concerned he had made his coffin & now must lie in it. I hoped he paid severely. I wanted him to go to hell, where I thought he belonged. Our kind was evil that goes without saying, but to turn on your kind own was even worse. I damned him to hell, it was a mission I planned to carry out, with a little help from Cat, of course. ~wicked, evil grin~
Until that blessed night I kept myself busy with spells & herbs & candles...some of the things I loved. I planned everything I was todo to my maker. Nothing would stop me from ending his reign of terror upon me & the rest. I loathed him more, it seemed, with every passing moment. His disposal was my only way out. There were no other answers, or options. It never left my thoughts from night to night.
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The first time I remember meeting Cat, Davidson brought me there for help. I had been severely injured during a fight with vampire bounty-hunters. Davidson knew it would take awhile to heal & regenerate myself. He knew I would be safe with Caterina. She was an entrusted friend of his. She was a beautiful Native American woman, dark-complexion, long dark hair & uniquely blue eyes, that contrasted to her dark features. Even her aura was beautiful, bright, radiant, and magnetic. I could even see why he was attracted to her. She had an amazing power about her that drew you in. Cat ran the local party palace...the area's most well-known secret. Cat Tales, the local bar, and brothel. It was quite the popular place. Cat was a bar-owner, a Head-Mistress, and a vampire too. She was tough & ran an excellent business. It was all self-sufficient, and safe, due to Cat's loyalty to her protectors. Her world was safe, and those in it as well. When I got there, I was delirious, and barely remember much about our first meeting. But when I was around her, at first I was withdrawn, not quite receptive to her or her manners. But after a few days of her nursing me back to health while listening to her fascinating stories, I had begun to earn respect for the woman. She was wise, patient, and kept many necessary things to herself. She was like a well of information, and her ability to handle everything calmly amidst choas, truly amazed & perplexed me.
Months had passed, I had grown closer to Cat...forming a relationship, I felt, perhaps a friendship. I watched how she ran her bar and the night shift girls. Alot of them weren't even vampires, but she handled them all the same, keeping everyone in line. She ran a tight shift, and yet everyone there seemed happy. She carried such compassion for her domain. I liked the enviroment so much. I hardly missed Davidson at all, even though he happened to float in & out. I began to take a closer look at the two of them. Davidson & Cat had what appeared to be a marvelous relationship. One that had lasted many life times. But I noticed he occasionally did things to her that I could not understand, nor continue to overlook. I felt as though I had been put in a position to grow closer to her, only to find out he was unknowingly hurting her, putting me right in the middle all of a sudden. She had grown accustomed to his fillandering, but something different was mixed into the equation. I sensed his involvement with another woman. One that stirred a passion within him, just as Cat did, but in a different way somehow. He was having his cake & eating it too, which isn't that what vampires do? But the history that these two shared went beyond rules...its hard to explain but maybe in a chapter or two, I can give you some insight to the life of this exciting duo.
At first I saw her as a stand-in for Davidson. Maybe he thought the two of us could help one another since we had him in common. But through her eyes, I witnessed another side to Davidson that I had never seen before nor liked. It stunned me, I have to say. I had held him in such high regard in my vampire heart, he was my teacher, my mentor, my father-figure. It was a blow to see him make mistakes, lie and deceive right in front of me. I knew he did those things, we all do. But not to your coven or close friends. So I got stuck in this complex web he'd woven, and Cat too. Sometimes the moments were hilarious, but other times filled with rage & tears. It was strange, to see a different reflection after so many years. Sometimes you think you know someone, really truly know someone, only to realize, you do not know them at all.
I was sneaking around one night, looking at books in Cat's library when I ran across what looked like a journal. I opened it & read the preceding page....
I don't remember much about the first time I saw him. I didn't even get to see his face. I just remember this guy in front of me, off to the distance and when I caught a glimpse of him I was mesmerized. He had his back to me and my eyes must have been drilling a hole in his back, I couldn't look away. I felt the magnatism even then. He turned in response to someting someone said and I was lost in his eyes.I couldn't tell you what he looked like. I never made it past his eyes. I had no idea who he even was at the time.All I know is in that one moment I was his. Time had no meaning, I had always been his and I knew I always would be. I don't know exactly what it was that made me turn away. I just remember being so startled by the feelings that had errupted inside of me I had to get outside.I didn't know if I would ever see him again but I knew I would never forget him. I was thirteen at the time and thirteen year olds are not supposed to have the depth and understanding that I did that night. At least that is what they say. But then they didn't know much as time would tell. I can't tell you the first time I actually met him face to face and talked to him it is all a blur in my mind. The years they tumble over and over in my mind and like us they seem to have no true beginning or ending. When we met we met as friends, who had lost each other lovers' whom we still loved. We started in the middle of something, love, lust,life, I don't know I never fully figured it out. There is a fire that burns inside of my heart when he is in the room. And he leaves a spark that stays lit when he is gone. I think I was the first to walk away. I couldn't cope with the fear that I was losing myself. I wanted to be everything he wanted, but the core of who I am rebeled against it. He never asked for me to be anything other than who I was. It was something inside of me that I was too inexperienced to deal with. Then a tragedy in his life, and a call from out of the blue by a friend saying he needed me, sent me a few years later running to be by his side. I stayed as long as he needed me. But he needed time to deal with things on his own and he slowly began to pull away and I let him go without trying to fight for what we had. I knew he would be back,eventually.
Over the years that is how it went. We would run into each other somewhere and the sparks would fly and for a while we would be right back like we had never left. For one reason or another we never could stay though. I went through all the stages of trying to purge him from my soul. To forget what we shared, how he made me feel. I tried drugs, booze, and for awhile, I tried other men. Then I came to realize that none of it was going to get me anywhere, so I learned to deal with it. Over time it became a comfort knowing that there was someone out there who would always care for me whether he was in my life at the moment or not. I carried my love for him hidden like a treasured secret and it gave me strength and courage to be the person I wanted to be. As the years went by I began to fool myself into thinking I could keep it hidden. I wanted things out of life that I knew he wasn't prepared for and felt time slipping away from me. I married and I moved a thousand miles away. I felt almost safe.I still dreamed of him almost ever night. He was my first thought on waking and he was my last thought before I went to sleep at night. I still knew what he was doing and how he was, I kept up through mutual friends. But he wasn't within my reach. The years flew by and then I returned home. I stayed out of the area he lived in. I knew that I was not strong enough even after all the years that had come and gone. For almost a year I managed to not run into him. I've always had a special knack for knowing when he was near so when I would get those vibes I would just leave where ever I was. But fate has a way of taking charge when she so chooses.
I was having a really bad day and had to go to the one spot of town I had been avoiding like the plague. I was distracted and let my guard down for just a moment and that was all it took. I heard my name and turned knowing before I did who it would be. I was lost before he said hello. In one breath all those feelings I had tried to hide and ignore came rushing to the surface. He felt it too, it was in his voice, in his touch, in the way he looked at me. He made me promise to come and see the coven, I couldn't refuse, I loved them too and had missed them. So a few days later I showed up at the house. I told myself just to see them and catch up on old times and then I would leave. Of course he was there. We all sat and talked. I got ready to leave and I don't remember if it was him or me who said what but somehow we decided to meet and talk and just hang out for awhile and catch up. Don't you love it when you lie to yourself? We went to a little place he knew where we could be alone one night and we talked and talked and we had never been apart. We were back in the middle again were we always seem to stay.I remember exactly what I had on that night, where I was sitting. I can still see his face. I knew before he leaned towards me he was going to kiss me and every part of me was screaming for the touch of his lips on mine. I will never forget that first kiss after so many years and nights of needing and wanting him and missing him. So on it went, once again. Then something happened that we both understood meant I would have to leave his life once again. After a while he moved out of the area. We hooked up out of town a few times and it was so wonderful to not have to hide to be able to just be ourselves and be free. He started coming home to be with me when he could. ===== There is a fine line between the truth and how we want it to be.
I had some insight to why she loved him so, but I felt bad for intruding on her personal diary. But those were thoughts I could've read had I scanned her mind during a quiet moment alone. But knowing this only made me more aggravated at Davidson for how he treated her sometimes. I wanted him to appreciate her a little more than he did. But I had no way of telling him currently, without becoming deeply involved. At the time, I didn't exactly know how involved I wanted to be. I guess it depended on just how he treated her from that point on, since I now knew the depth of her feelings for him.
There once came a time when neither I nor Cat, could stand to be around Davidson. After all, when you have a personality like his, it emits a type of magnifcation, the type that sucks you dry of thoughts, feelings, and life to a degree. He overwhelms your senses with his compassionate campaigns, reeling you in gently. But the hurt ran way too deep this time I feared. He had went to far. It makes me ill to watch him act so blissfully unaware of my secret loathing of him & what he seemed to stand for. That only meant that deep down, maybe I truly loathed my own existence as well.
Cat had a worse time with him than I did at the time. She loathed him for many more reasons than I. I only loathed him for one reason....he lied. In turn that made me feel disrespected and quite ignorant. And with that the big strong foundation of our life-long bond was forever broken, with only a lie. So if I felt this bad over a lie, Cat had to have felt worse than any of us. We were merely his bloodchildren and nothing more. She loved & supported him throughout the sands of time...devoted to him in spite of his ingratitude.
Davidson had a very bad habit of taking off to parts unknown for periods of time. No one could find him during his mystery hiatus either. Little did I know he was living out another life, his fairy-tale life so to speak. He retreated to the company of that woman I'd grown to hate. To have him out & out lie to me, and then take it further with even more lies on top of that. I wondered how much of his teachings, advice, wisdom, if any of that were anything more than just compounded lies. When the news finally broke, Cat was shocked, but not at all surprised. Then came disappointment, in the fact that he felt he had to cover everything up, be secretive with us, when the truth probably is, he enjoyed every minute of it! Like a cat covering its shit in a litterbox is what he reminded me of. Why else would he stage these little fantasy worlds he obviously had scattered about the world? It made me feel belittled that we (the coven) weren't special. My existence suddenly felt so insignificant in the spectrum of things. I felt Cat needed me through this hell we were so carelessly thrown into.
Cat sat by candlelight writing this emotional journal entry...It's a terrible thing to learn that your life has been based upon a false hood. It's beyond words to describe when you discover that not only your life, but your death and reawakening was based on a game so complex I couldn't even begin to understand in the emotional state I was in. Davidson's house of cards was starting to topple. Century's of manipulation were now starting to show and the discovery of being just another pawn on the board was almost too much to bare. I had watched the moves all these years. Silently reminding myself that there was a part of him I would never know, a part I couldn't trust. I was fool enough to believe that I was smart enough and too much a part of him to be placed on the board. Never realizing I had been there from the very begining till now. My first coherent thought was of Jessica. I had felt bits and pieces from her over the past few months. Feelings of confussion, turmoil, and rage. I had never been very good at feeling others, Davidson was the only one I could ever find or feel from great distances. His presense always seemed to drown everyone else's out for me. But Jessica was different from the first moment I saw her. Her vibrant personality, I think, and maybe her bond with Davidson, helped. I had only been a pawn, a play thing, but I felt he genuinely cared for her. He just couldn't help adding her to the game he had been playing so long. I needed to find her, try to warn her, in case she did not know so that she could protect herself, although I had a strong suspicion she already knew. One of the first things that is taught when you start this existance either by another or learned on your own is to run when there is danger. It's never possible to stay in one place for long anyway. It's hard to explain why your neighbors grow old and wither and you don't. I had no way of telling how much danger if any I was in or from which direction it would come from. The simplest solution was to run and sort it all out later. I wanted no memories, no keepsakes, no trace of the place I had loved and now grown to hate. The place where I learned my whole existance was based on lies and half truths. So I sent it all up in one glorious cleansing flame. I stayed just long enough to make sure that everyone was safe and no one was going to be able to save so much as a door stop. Then I turned my back and fled. I felt a sudden jolt of emotion, shock then understanding. I knew Jessica was near. At the moment I just wanted to feel safe and I could think of only one place he wouldn't find me. I knew Jessica could find me and would, so I kept going. I needed to rest and think. I had always expected this some where deep inside. I had spent too many years watching him build his own reality and shape others. But I had a feeling she was going to be blind sided by the turn of events. We were going to need each other and I was not going to let her down by falling apart. Together we might be able to stop the tide of what ever was coming our way.
By the time I arrived at the Cat house, it looked like an actual living hell already............flames leapt towards the midnight sky. The entire place was engulfed. How ironic, I thought to myself. There, outside the bar & brothel, stood all the girls, safely, gazing in disbelief & awe. The look of disbelief was not upon my face, however. I stood back in the shadows, watching Cat's life & love, burn. I must have been there for hours watching the flames consume a very sacred place to alot of people. At the crack of dawn, only embers remained, at that instant I knew there's only one reason why this house would come down...Cat. Odd how she isn't even here, as if she knew or perhaps had something to do with it. It was time to find her. But for now it was time to sleep.
I went to cemetary that I knew she loved to visit. I wandered through its crowded landscape looking for shadows of her. Faintly,in the distance, I heard crying. A small candle flickered in the mausoleum we frequented. I ran to it. Inside, hiding from the rest of the world, was Cat. SHe ran to me, embracing me in tears. I knew he had hurt her badly for her to cry in front of me. She had always been so strong, I never saw her weak. But I understood this time why she shared her grief with me. It made me hate him even more than I thought possible. My weakness was empathy. We sat quietly, holding one another for hours. She had never needed anyone but Davidson, but unfortunately he had severed that tie I knew, forever. She then turned to me, I was the only one who knew & could share this burden with her. Because of that, I, too, shared my grief & pain. It was all we could do at the time. We knew we needed to properly deal with it for either of us to move forward. So to us, this was therapy. And we knew very soon we would be strong again. And that would spell definite danger for Davidson, I was not sorry to say. And I could not wait.
She began to share her thoughts with me...from her point of view she speaks...
Side by side we sat in the flickering candle light. Our grief spent finally, and now I could feel the beginning of the ember of rage. Over the years I had felt pain and saddness beyond measure, all endured for him. Never this rage that was starting to engulf me. I relished in the feel of it. There was a freedom to be found in it. One I had never known. I wanted blood, his blood. Nothing else would do. I looked at Jessica and saw the flame in her eyes, but there was something else there too. She had reached passed it all and was deep in thought. She turned and asked,"Cat, what is it he holds most dear to him." One simple question and I was slammed back into reality. How I envied the way her mind worked I knew immediately the answer she already knew. His power. Not just his power, but how he held it without seeming to claim it. It was one of the vital abilities in retaining it. The illusion of the father figure who done no wrong. She nodded and started to lay out the first step in her plan. It would be the beginning of the pain he was going to feel. First we would take his power. Worse for him, we would give him no one to fight for it. By slowly tearing down the house of cards he had built, removing the players one by one. Each of us would spend our time very carefully, educating the others on the things he had done and hidden over the years. Allowing them to figure out for themselves the deception that had been played on them. In this way each time he lost his hold on them. He would keep losing little pieces of his game not knowing why and watch it all crumble down around him. He would of course suspect us. But what could he do? We would not try to take his place. We would give him no battle to fight, only loss. Once upon a time my entire existence had revolved around Davidson. Although it still does the coin has been flipped and now instead of protecting him I was going to play a part in destroying him. Not only that but we were going to use the one thing he always claimed to hold so dear...the truth. I looked at Jessica and we both started to laugh, oh this was going to be fun! Part one would tear him off his pedestal, I had a feeling when we got to part two he was going to wish he could die.
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In the beginning, I did not recognize the power Davidson possessed. Eternal years would bring the experience and knowledge Davidson possessed. He often said I had the potential to become a dangerous and deceitful creature.
The first memories I have when I looked through my new eyes... was the cold mausoleum floor beneath my tiny feet, as I walked, unknowingly to meet Davidson in the cemetary.
That dark night in New York City, he rescued me from my own life. At the edge of death he came to me like an angel. I had decided I could not bare my life any longer. I drew a bath of steaming hot water, and took the razor blade from my dead husband's razor. I had nothing to live for after losing my husband & our unborn child. Death seemed a welcomed relief. He slipped in at precisely the moment & bestowed to me his dark choice. Delirious from death, I obligued unknowingly to his dark gift. So you must understand my confusion when I arose that night. But through time I grew fond of him. I looked up to him and trusted him more than anyone ever. He would never betray me, that I felt deep within my body. Maybe because I had his blood in my veins, or maybe because I thought he was the most intelligent man I had ever encountered.
I received my new life, eventually, I felt as a gift from Davidson. Brian did as well, but Richard however did not...he felt it was punishment. He would mistreat and torture himself because that is what he deserved, he felt for being an abomination of evil. Much of Richard's life was spent in guilt and remorse. Extremely different than mine, I must say.
In the beginning I was sexy, cunning, obnoxious and somewhat repulsive, but not for a vampire of course. I used what I was to offend others. I thought that because of what I was, everyone had to put up with my actions...a disrespectful little vamp, I was...{at first anyway} But in my beginning I lived for the quantity of live, not the quality of it. In my elder years I would learn the difference.