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A wise man once said, long ago, that only one thing will grow in a garden of despair. Nothing else will grow in such a vile, desolate place, all things turning to ash eventually. All things but one; Hope.

No matter how rank and vile the garden may be, no matter how thick and treacherous the weeds may be, a single seed of hope will always flourish in any garden, in any life. That single seed, that one grain of hope, can overcome any despair, no matter how absolute. But only if it is cultivated, if it is watched over and cared, only if someone is there to look after it. Sometimes it takes too much for us to watch over it ourselves. It is always easier to let it die, to wither away and disappear under our own wandering eye.

Sometimes all we need or that seed to flourish is another person to help us watch over our garden with us.

************************************************************************

"Good evening, thank you for calling public support, how may I help?" Felix said, trying to sound interested as he leant back in the creaky office chair, pinching the bridge of his snout, the microphone headset on the side of his head already feeling heavy. He dreaded what was going to come next. Gods, he always hated what would come next.

There was no reply on the other end of the line, but Felix thought he could hear the faint sound of someone on the other end of the line, their shallow breathing wracked by sobs, but it was hard to tell. The endless chatter of voices around him from equally harassed-looking beasts filtered into his microphone, and he had trouble telling if there was anyone even there.

"If there's no-one there, I'm going to have to hang up." He said wearily, reaching out to the control board in front of him to terminate the call.

"No, I'm here." A woman's voice said suddenly on the other end of the line, as Felix's paw hovered over the red button.

"How may I help you?" Felix repeated, pulling his paw away from the board and settling back in his chair.

"I was wondering if I could get some advice?" The voice asked, sounding shaky.

"That's what we're here for. Advice." Felix replied. There was a pause for a few moments before the woman suddenly broke into a quick gabble of words, sounding as though she was close to bursting into tears. Felix ran a paw under the collar at the back of his neck and through his fur as he listened, giving quiet affirmation as he listened to her story.

It was a familiar one to him; after living with her boyfriend for a few years, he had fallen onto hard times and turned to drinking. And with that he had turned abusive, taking out his frustrations and anger on her, beating her to a pulp whenever he came home drunk. By the end of her story she sounded as though she had broken down into tears, as she explained how he'd just taking the jug cord to her after she hadn't had his dinner ready.

He was asleep now in the next room, passed out on the bed, and she had finally summoned up the courage to ask for help.

Felix sighed wretchedly as he listened to the woman trying to calm herself on the other end of the phone line, looking over to the next cubicle where one of his co-workers was sitting, trying to calm her shaking paws with a cigarette as she took a call of her own. She flashed him a grim smile as she saw him looking at her, the pain in her eyes evident.

It was hard on her, hell, it was a hard job for any of them. They worked at the support line for the greater metropolitan area, a twenty-four hour free help line set up by the government a few years back to help beasts deal with their problems. Every night they had hundreds of calls filtered through to them, from those considering suicide to dozens of others like the one Felix had on the line now, a prisoner in their own home, held captive by an abusive spouse or parent.

Every night, hundreds of calls from beasts seeking help with their problems, filtering through to a room that stank of stale cigarette smoke and weak coffee, filled with twenty or so poor beasts who didn't get paid nearly enough for what they did. Every night Felix tried to help those who rang up, feeling helpless as he listened to their problems, each seeming worse than the last to him. It just kept piling up and piling up for him, until it seemed completely overwhelming. Sometimes it just all got too much...

His eyes flitted over the room, skimming over the rows of harassed-looking beasts, all trying to deal with the problems of others. A few wilted, unhealthy-looking pot-plants stood around the room, a bastardization of an attempt to cheer the place up. It was all shite...he pressed a palm against his eye as he listened to the women sob, only one ear on the conversation...for fuck's sake, when had he become so cynical?

The Coyote had taken the job when he'd heard about it, his head full of dreams of helping beasts and making the world a better place. That seemed a long time ago now, a time he could scarce remember. Everything had seemed brighter than, every problem solvable, every beast savable. The harsh reality of it all had come crashing down for him when he'd started working, and he realized that in the real world, few problems are solvable by a few words over the phone.

It was hard for every single one of them working those phones; they had each had two weeks training, two weeks before being dumped in here and having the endless calls coming, each one hoping for salvation at the other end of the phone. What could they do? They were just normal beasts...the best they could do for most of them was to just talk to them, try and offer words of support. But those words were always hollow, weak, as substantial as air the next time an abusive boyfriend raised his fists.

It was getting harder and harder for Felix to find reasons to get up in the evening and come to work, the long night shifts dragging on into an abysmal parade of despair for some poor beast on the other end of the phone line, and all he could do was sit and listen. But he had to keep coming in, had to try and help others, no matter how hard it got. They rang expecting help, and that's what all of them tried to give.

They did the best they could.

So why was it never enough?

"Are you still there?" Felix asked, the young Coyote running a weary paw through his shaggy tan fur, biting his lip as he strained to hear the sound of the voice on the other side of the line. There was a sniff and a timid 'yes', the voice sounding broken and defeated.

"Look, first of all well done for calling and asking for help. It takes a lot of guts to do this, and you're very brave for doing so." Felix said, wincing inside as the words left his mouth, imagining just how much comfort they must be to the poor girl covered in welts and bruises on the other side of the line.

"Thank you. What should I do though?" The voice asked desperately.

"You should call the police and get them to handle it. They would be best for this." Felix replied.

"I can't do that!" The voice replied, sounding hysterical. "Last time I did that they just let him out again, and he beat me even harder for turning him in! They don't care what he does, and I can't take another beating like that!" The voice sobbed.

"Well maybe you should move out now, while he's asleep. Get away from him, as far as you can." Felix replied, feeling sick inside.

"I don't have anywhere to go! I don't know anyone in this city, and I don't have any money. He takes it all for his booze." The woman sobbed. "He'd just hunt me down and drag me back, and then he'd just beat me even harder..."

"Well..." Felix said, not knowing what to say. He sought desperately, but his brain just would not respond, so he left the sentence hanging weakly.

"Isn't there anything else you can say?" The voice pleaded to him, but he did not have any answers for her.

"I'm...I'm sorry" Felix said weakly. There was a crash and a drunken yell on the other end of the phone line, and he heard the women gasp in fear.

"Oh god, he's awake!" She whimpered. "I have to go..."

"No!" Felix said desperately, but it was too late, the dial tone loud in his ears. He leaned forward and put his head in his paws, pulling the headset from around his head and throwing it aside. He sighed brokenly, mind blank and numb. Just like that, another he couldn't help, couldn't even offer any consolation too. Why couldn't he help any of these beasts?

And the night had only just begun, too.

****

A few hours later, Felix was still sitting in his chair, feeling like a huge weight was sitting heavy on his shoulders. A cardboard cup of coffee someone had bought him was sitting in front of him cooling slowly as he drew deeply on his cigarette to steel himself before pressing the button to connect himself to the next call. Hopefully this one wouldn't be very bad, hopefully he could actually give this person some advice.

He'd had a few tough ones in the last few hours, from the mother who'd just lost her baby boy to a miscarriage, to the boy who was worried about how much her father was drinking. All he'd been able to offer them was words, empty reassurances, sending them away with just as much problem as they had before, juts like all the rest. And they just kept calling...

He knew it was a horrible way of thinking, but sometimes he'd catch himself hating these beasts for asking him to solve their problems, when he was even less able to do so when they were. Then he'd hate himself for thinking such terrible thoughts; it wasn't their fault they had been dealt such a shitty hand in life.

"Good morning, thank you for calling public support, how may I help?" Felix said mechanically, noting the clock had just ticked over to three a.m.

"I'm worried about my mommy and daddy." A small voice on the other side of the phone, and Felix sighed inwardly. The ones from the kids always cut him the deepest.

"Okay kid, what's your name first?" Felix said.

"It's Duke. After my grand-daddy." The voice replied. He sounded about eight or nine...gods, Felix thought, rubbing his eyeballs through their lids with his thumb and forefinger.

"Okay Duke. My name's Felix. Why don't you tell me what the problem is?" Felix asked. Most adults preferred to remain anonymous on the line, but they had been told in training to address children name-to-name, to try and gain their confidence.

"They're always fighting with each other. When I'm around they always pretend to be nice to each other, but when they think I'm not there I can always hear them argue. They always hiss when they do, just like snakes." Duke said quietly, and Felix couldn't help but smile.

"Go on." He said.

"It's worst when I go to bed. They always start yelling at each other, and they go on for hours. They're always screaming."

"Okay...have you ever heard your father hit your mother?" Felix asked, burning with hatred for himself and his own tongue as he did. Saying things like that to children, putting those fears into their minds...he always felt his soul give another twist when he did.

"No. They never hit, they just always argue. Hitting is wrong." He replied.

"Yes it is, Duke, and you're a very good boy for knowing that." Felix said. There wasn't much he could do; there was no law against arguing, no matter how loud it was.

"I think it's my fault." The child said suddenly.

"What?" Felix asked

"They always argue about money. Not having enough. I heard my daddy say we spend too much on me. Maybe if I wasn't around they wouldn't argue so much. Maybe they'd be happy and love each other again." Duke replied.

"Don't you ever think that Duke. It's not your fault they argue. You're a very good boy for calling up and trying to help them." Felix replied, the words of the child cutting him deeply. "It's not your fault." He repeated.

"So what can you do?" The child asked.

"I...I'm afraid there isn't a lot I can do for you." Felix replied wretchedly. "Or that you can do. It's up to your parents to stop arguing, not you. You're a very good boy for caring so much, but there isn't much we can do. I'm sorry."

"Oh. Thank you." Duke said quietly, his voice sounding sad and lost. Felix opened his mouth to say something, but again all he could hear was the dial tone, the line going dead. Felix slumped back in his chair and stared off into space, the endless chatter all around him filtering through his ears unheeded as his soul blackened a little more inside. He couldn't even help a child...what good was he, what he did?

The next few hours seemed to drag on forever for Felix, Duke's call weighing heavily on him as he took calls. Finally five o'clock rolled around and his shift ended, his joints complaining stiffly as he rose from his chair, his replacement smiling wearily at him as they exchanged places.

"Hard night?" His replacement, a short Fox with tired eyes asked him as he rose.

"Like always." Felix replied, the Fox laughing weakly. "Good luck." He said to him as he took his place on the chair. He pulled his jacket around his shoulders as he walked to the door, nodding to his supervisor as he left, who looked as weary as the Coyote felt.

Standing outside the door onto the pre-dawn street was the girl who'd been in the cubicle next to him, lighting a cigarette as one of the street cleaners whirred noisily past. She smiled when she saw him, looking exhausted. Her name was Sarah, a slim Husky with piercingly blue eyes. She had the sort of slim figure and mischievous good looks that fourteen-year old boys dream about in their girl next-door, but the stress of the job was beginning to get to her, in the wrinkles already forming around her eyes and the stress lines in her face.

"You alright?" She asked him, falling into step beside him as they walked down the street, the asphalt shining wet from the street cleaner in the amber glow of the street lights.

"Yeah. Got some pretty tough calls tonight." Felix replied, trying to smile.

"Don't we always?" She asked.

"Yeah, we do. It gets on top of you, though."

"I know." Sarah replied, stopping at a side-street. "But you just have to work through it. We're helping beasts."

"Mm." Felix replied noncommittally

"Well, goodnight. Get some sleep." She said, smiling to him again.

"You too. See you tonight." Felix replied.

"Uh huh. When it all starts again." She said, turning and walking off into the night. Felix watched her go, shaking his head. She hadn't been working there long. It hadn't got on top of her yet. But it would. It always did, in the end. He sighed, turning and continuing on his route home. He could tell she was interested in him as well; he'd have to break the news to her sooner or later. This depression he was in had totally killed his sex drive; he hadn't had any thoughts like that for what seemed months; not that it would have done her any good anyway. Not that there was anything wrong with her; she was very attractive. It was just that Felix, how you say, was playing for another team entirely. Perhaps even a different game entirely.

Or maybe it was just him. Maybe he was just letting himself get too involved in other beasts problems. But if he didn't care about them, why did he do what he did? He wanted to help beasts...or at least, he had, once upon a time. It seemed so long ago. He found it harder and harder to really feel anymore. He started up across the bridge that spanned the wide river, mind still buzzing with thought. A poster in a bus shelter for some musical was bright and garish to his drowsy eyes, the words "Do you believe in angels?" Seeming like a personal insult to him. He knew there weren't any. First hand, like.

It wasn't a life anyone should live. You woke up at night, went and listened to other beast's problems and pleas for help, most of which you cannot even help them with, then you went home depressed and slept all day. Then you woke up and did it again. And he did it six days a week. His day off he'd just stay at home, trying not to think about the week ahead of him and the thousands of beasts he could just never help.

Halfway across the bridge, without thinking, he stopped and began to climb up the guardrail of the walkway, until he was standing on the top rail. With one paw to support him on one of the concrete uprights, he stood looking down at the river far below, suddenly contemplating jumping in. In truth, he didn't know why he was up there, what he intended to do, but he was up there nonetheless.

What was the point of it all? He could never help anybody, could never save them from what fate had dealt to them. Why even try? He didn't even feel anymore, he just sat in his chair and dreaded the next call, dreaded hearing the sound of a voice who'd expected answers from him, a voice he'd let down. What did they expect? He wasn't a god, none of them were! They were just average beasts...

He was sick of it, sick of it all. Maybe he should just jump; maybe he'd feel something for once...it'd be a nice change. It was all too much. He was angry, furious; why did these beasts have to suffer? Why had fate given them such a horrible life? Well, he could bypass that, he could cheat fate by doing this, by jumping. It dawned on him that perhaps this was fate's plan, to have him die here tonight, and as he stared down into the icy, unforgiving grey water below him, he felt a terrible sense of inevitability drawing him into it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A voice said behind him, almost conversationally. He didn't say anything, didn't even look around to see who had addressed him.

"Because if you did, I'd probably have to jump in and try to save you. And I'd hate to get this shirt wet, you know?"

"Who are you?" Felix asked, still looking down into the river's flow.

"No-one important." The voice replied nonchalantly, and Felix felt someone lean on the rail beside him, just out of his sight. "I just saw you up here and thought you were probably doing more than just getting a better view of the river. Thought you might like someone to talk to. It's quite a nice shirt." The voice added, almost as an afterthought

"I wasn't thinking about jumping." Felix replied quickly, unsure whether or not this was a lie.

"What were you thinking of then, perched up there like you're about to sprout wings and fly?" The voice replied.

"I don't know." Felix conceded. The voice was cutting through him for some reason he couldn't quite fathom, appealing to his common sense. It was warm, and kind, a friendly voice that he couldn't help but like. He turned around on the rail and looked down, a shady figure standing in the gloom below him.

"Then why don't you hop down from there before you slip and have a nasty fall? This rail can get slippery, you know." The figure said, only the shining reflection of pre-dawn light off their eyes visible out of the gloom. Felix stayed on the rail, unsure of what he should do. Why was he up on the rail, anyway? The reasoning that had seemed so strong now was kind of hard to remember...all he could think about was the voice of the mystery figure addressing him.

"Come on. If you don't know what you're doing up there, why not come join me for coffee? It's too cold a night to be standing around out here. I mean, I was on my way anyway, so I thought you might like to come. Unless you have something else to do...?"

"Alright." Felix said slowly, giving in to the warm, friendly voice. It was strange, he thought as he climbed back down onto the bridge. He had many times talked to those on the edge, about to do something stupid, just as he was about to then, but he'd never been able to be as calm or collected as this stranger had just been to him.

The figure took Felix's paw to steady him as he came down, the Coyote's paw enveloped in a larger, stronger grip. He could finally make out who the figure was; a silvery-furred Wolf was standing there in the dark, the collar of his jacket pulled up tight around his neck to ward off the winter chill. Now he was standing level with the Wolf, Felix could tell he was a good head taller than him, and he had to look up to see the eyes he had looked down onto so short a time before. Without the reflected moonlight shining out of them they were a soft amber, warm and friendly, just like his voice had been. The gleam of his silver fur in the fluorescent light overhead made him look slightly ethereal, like the angels in old-fashioned movies who'd come down to take away the little orphan girl frozen on the street.

Except Felix knew in real life there was no such thing as angels.

"So..." Felix said after a few silent seconds staring in wordless embarrassment into the tall Wolf's eyes. "Do I get to know your name, or...?" He said, suddenly completely unaware of the winter chill as he watched the smile curl around the Wolf's silvery muzzle.

"It's Saul. Now, are you still keen for that coffee, or am I going alone?"

****

Paws wrapped around an old chipped mug to try and warm away the chill from his bones, Felix sat bathed in the garish pink glow of the neon sign outside the window as he watched the mysterious Wolf, Saul, across the table from him. He had taken the Coyote to an all-night diner as the sky began to turn from sooty black to ashen grey, the tired-looking waitress serving them with little conversation.

"Can I ask you a question?" Felix asked the Wolf once they had seated themselves in a booth, all chipped chrome and red faux-leather.

"Only if I can ask you one." Saul replied levelly, his eyes hooded and a vague smile creeping about his face.

"Alright." Felix agreed, knowing what the Wolf would ask him already. "You said, back there on the bridge, that you were already on your way for coffee when you...found me. What's a beast like you doing out in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, looking for coffee, of all things?" He asked, and Saul chuckled.

"I'm not the best sleeper, and I find a nice early-morning walk helps to clear my head. And what were you doing out there?" The Wolf replied, and Felix blushed in embarrassment, looking down into the depths of his tar-like coffee.

"Oh, you know...I work late, so I was just walking home...I just finished..." The coyote mumbled, trailing off weakly as he looked back up into the eyes of Saul.

"Does your route home usually take you up onto the railing of that bridge? Because if it does maybe you should find another way home." The Wolf said, and Felix laughed despite himself.

"I don't know why I was up there...I don't know what I was thinking..." Felix admitted, shaking his head.

"Oh come on, there must have been some reason for you being up there. You looked like you were ready to jump. What do you do for a living? Maybe that's what got on top of you?" Saul asked, sounding curiously concerned.

"It doesn't matter...I shouldn't..." Felix said, shaking his head. This Wolf didn't need to know, it was his own problem. He didn't need to lump it of onto another, he had enough beasts doing that to him as it was.

"It will help you to talk. Believe me." Saul said earnestly, looking deep into Felix's eyes. The Coyote sighed, not sure why he felt he could trust this stranger, but he had the undeniable feeling that this Saul was someone he could talk to.

"I work at a public help line. You know, beasts ring up when they're stressed or depressed and I talk to them about it." Felix said, pausing to see if the Wolf understood him. "I joined up thinking I could help beasts, that I could make a change in the world. Huh, guess I was pretty wrong on that." He said, smirking mirthlessly. "Every night it's the same old shit, the same horrible things happening to different beasts, and I can never do anything about it. I was just thinking that what I did was pointless, that trying to help beasts was a fool's errand...that it was all pointless. That's when I found myself up there. And that's when you showed up." Felix said, trying to smile as he looked back into Saul's face.

"You care a lot for everybeast." The Wolf said, a strange tone in his voice.

"Yeah, some would say too much." Felix said bitterly, looking down at the scarred table-top. "I can never do any good."

"That's not true." Saul said, and Felix felt his paw dwarfed by another on the tabletop. He looked up to see Saul's soft, silver-furred paw wrapped around his own, a warm smile across his muzzle. "Your work does help beasts Felix. I was one of them."

"What?" Felix asked, confused.

"I rang up your line a few months ago when I needed help...they helped me to see that there was more to life than my problem. They helped me to get over it." The Wolf said.

"You...they...really?" The Coyote said, shocked. He had never met someone in real life that had called up the line...it was a strange feeling, to know so much about a person and their problems, and never even know their names...and then to meet one of them in real life...it was kind of humbling.

"Yeah. You do help the beasts who ring you Felix. They just don't always remember to ring up and say thanks." Saul said softly. Felix blushed, and he looked down at his paws, but something nagging at the back of his brain bought his attention back up.

"What did you ring the line for?" Felix asked, but Saul just waved a dismissive paw.

"Nothing. It's in the past now. What matters is what you do isn't pointless, Felix. You do help beasts. I should know." The Wolf said grinning, and Felix chuckled, feeling an immense weight lifted off his shoulders. That was all he needed...proof, that what he was doing was making a difference for someone, somewhere.

Felix looked back into the eyes of the silver-furred wolf sitting across from them, smiling silently, Saul replying likewise. As one, their eyes slid down to where Saul still clasped Felix's paw on the table, then glancing back to one another, pulling away their paws and laughing nervously, Felix feeling his cheeks grow hot.

"You should probably be going." Saul said, and Felix noted a slight tinge of red to his cheeks as well. "You can't help anyone if you're exhausted from staying up all hours talking to strangers."

"I suppose so..." Felix admitted, although for some reason he felt loath to leave the Wolf's company after he had made him feel happy once more, after what seemed an age to the Coyote. The two of them stood at the same time, smiling awkwardly at one another as they each waited for the other to say something.

"I was wondering..." Felix began.

"Yeah?"

"Could I maybe get your number...in case I feel like...I don't know, talking again some time?" Felix asked, nervously waiting for the Wolf's reaction. He looked a bit apprehensive at first, but his face soon softened and he grinned.

"Sure. That'd be nice." Saul replied. They exchanged phone numbers, written on diner napkins and parted ways, Felix smiling away to himself as he walked towards his apartment alone, the sun threatening to break over the horizon at any moment and wash the streets with light.

.

****

The sun was sinking back below the horizon as Felix found himself on the way back to work that night, feeling all the better for a long, restful sleep. That Wolf, Saul...what he had said had really been a help for the Coyote, when he had needed it the most. He now felt ready to help people again, felt like he did when he had first started working there. He felt like he really could help people, felt like he might actually might a difference.

What Saul had said had made him ready for the day ahead.

But nothing could prepare him for the bombshell that was coming.

Sarah must have been on the same shift as him again, because she was standing on the corner of her street waiting for him, her face breaking into a smile when she saw him.

"Thought you might be passing through." She said, winking to him as she fell in step beside him.

"Well, you got lucky then, didn't you?" Felix said, grinning as he pulled a packet of cigarettes from the inside pocket of his jacket. "Smoke?"

"Ta." The Husky said, pulling herself one of the cigarettes and perching it between her lips. "Well, someone's in a good mood today." She said approvingly, noting the grin on his muzzle. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, actually." Felix said, nodding, grinning again as he thought of the strange silver-furred Wolf that had come to his aid last night. "I got a good talking-too, and that sorted me out."

"You should have come to me." Sarah said, pouting as she looked sidelong at the Coyote. "I could have given you a good talking-too as well, you know."

"Oh really?" Felix asked, one eyebrow cocked.

"Oh yeah, any time you like. If you want to grab a bite to eat, or talk...maybe just let off a little steam?" She said, winking impishly at Felix, who blushed.

"As much as I'd love that Sarah, I have a little bad news for you." He said, and the Husky's face fell.

"Oh not you too! Isn't there any straight guys left in this city?" She sulked, he shoulders slumping.

"Sorry." Felix said, shrugging.

"Oh well, another lonely night by myself, I guess." Sarah muttered. Felix looked at her sidelong and sighed inwardly. If only he'd known her a few years ago...he would have leapt on that without a second's hesitation when he'd been straight. The way she curves, the she swings her tail when she walks, her impish good looks...he sighed again, but reflectively this time. Always comes along when you don't want it or can't have it, doesn't it?

"I know how it is." Felix murmured, but when he glanced sidelong at the Husky she looked so dejected he just had to say something. "Don't get me wrong. If I was straight, I'd be in there without a second's hesitation." He said, and Sarah laughed.

"Thanks. That's sweet." She said sarcastically. "But unfortunately you're not straight." She said as they reached the doors to their office.

"But if I was..." Felix said, opening the door, nearly colliding with his supervisor as she came the other way. She was a pretty Skunk called Claire perhaps a few years older than Felix, with little librarian glasses perched on the end of her snout, and a constantly flustered expression. Now, however, she looked even more flustered than usual, her glasses skewed and her fur ruffled unnaturally.

"Oh Felix, thank god you're here!" She said as she saw it was him.

"Don't waste your time, he's not straight." Sarah said as she walked past the pair, winking at Felix and poking out her tongue as she went.

"Oh ha ha." Felix retorted, but when he looked back down into Claire's eyes he saw her looking serious and almost a little frightened, no trace of humor whatsoever on her face.

"What is it?" He asked

"It's that little boy who rang you last night, Duke." She said. That was all she needed to say, Felix's blood running cold in an instant. He almost ran to his station in his haste, his mind numb and frozen as Claire hurried behind him, talking over his shoulder. "He rang up a few minutes ago, asking for you. He says his mother and father had been fighting for hours, that they just wouldn't stop." She said as Felix reached his empty cubicle, vaguely aware of others milling around aimlessly, all looking at him.

"Felix..." Claire said as he sat down in the creaky old office chair, snatching up the phone headset in one paw. "While he was on the phone, there were a couple of loud bangs...we think they might have been gunshots." Felix froze with the headset a few inches from his head, staring up into Claire's face, begging to find some trace of a joke, a prank, that this was not happening, but there was none. He suddenly understood the milling, helpless look of all of his co-workers. He dreaded what he knew was coming, he hated himself for doing it, but he put the headset over his head anyway, waving to Claire to put Duke through.

The first thing he heard after the click of the line going through was the heavy, sobbing breathing of a terrified child on the far end of the telephone. 'He took a deep breath, steadying himself before he talked.

"Duke? Are you there? It's Felix." He said, trying to keep his voice steady and calm, like Saul's had been to him the night before.

"Felix?" A tremulous voice replied.

"Yeah, it's me buddy. Are you alright?" Felix asked.

"Yes...I think so..." Duke replied.

"I need you to tell me what happened, okay?" Felix asked, looking up to see Claire holding up a hastily written sign on a piece of paper: Calling Police - Keep Him On The Line.

"They...my parents were arguing again, but it wasn't like last time. Daddy had been out all night and when he came back he smelt like nasty medicine." Duke said, stuttering nervously as Felix made drinking motions with an invisible bottle to Claire as she gabbled details into another phone. The lines were fully stacked but no-one was answering, everyone standing around and staring at Felix as the drama unfolded.

"Daddy was angry because Mom had spent too much on groceries, he said, and she said that he spent too much gambling. She sent me to bed even though it was before my bed-time, and I heard them start arguing again, just like they always do." Duke stuttered, sounding close to tears again.

"But they didn't stop like they usually did. They just went on and on and on...and then I rang to talk to you when I heard Mommy screaming...and then...then there were these b...bangs..." Duke said, sobbing brokenly on the other end of the phone.

"Shh...its okay...it's okay..." Felix whispered, trying to comfort the child. He looked up and saw Claire holding another hastily-drawn sign, this time with a single word, a query scrawled on it: Address?

"How long ago was that, Duke?" Felix asked, ignoring the sign for now.

"Not long...I think something is wrong with Mommy..." The child replied, sounding even more scared than before.

"Can you hear any more sounds outside your room?" Felix asked.

"No...I think I should go out and check on them..." Duke replied.

"Don't!" Felix cried suddenly, on the very edge of his seat, dreading what the child might see if he went out there. Or worse, whoever had the gun might turn it on him...it was a terrible thing to think about the child's own parents, but Felix had seen it happen before. He had to keep Duke in the room.

"I just want to see Mommy is okay..." Duke whispered.

"I need you to stay in your room like a good boy Duke. Can you lock your door?"

"Yes..."

"I need you to do that then. Lock the door and wait. Okay?" Felix said desperately.

"I just want to see my Mommy...I think something happened to her..." Duke sobbed.

"Stay in your room!" Felix commanded, pulse pounding.

"I can't hear her anymore..." The child wailed. "I need to see her!"

"Duke, stay in your gods-damn room!" Felix yelled, on his footpaws now, every eye in the office on him.

"Okay..." Duke replied after a few seconds, sounding scared again. But this time, he sounded scared, not for his parents, but of Felix. "I locked the door. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. You did good." Felix said, feeling dead inside, sinking back down into his chair, both relief and self-loathing flooding through him. He kept Duke on the line for another half hour, getting his address and sending the police to his location.

It was just before the police arrived at Duke's residence that the child said something that Felix knew he would never forget, that would stick with him until his dying day.

"Felix?"

"Yeah Duke?" Felix replied, feeling drained and empty.

"I think something happened to my dad."

"I don't know, Duke. Just wait until the nice policemen come to get you." Felix said, shaking his head. His ashtray was full to overflowing in front of him and his throat burnt like hellfire, but he still needed another cigarette.

"Okay. But if something did happen to him...could you be my new daddy?" Duke asked, and Felix froze, unsure of what to say. At that moment the police entered Duke's apartment and found him, wrapping him up and taking him away before he could see what had happened to his parents, an officer telling him down the line that everything was alright now, and that they'd send an officer to him to take a statement in the next few hours.

Then the line went dead, Felix pulling the headset away from his ear slowly and dumping it on the desk, pushing himself away from it and staring at the floor, his mind cold and empty. Those who had watched him for so long broke away now, each going about their own business, suddenly conscious of the dozens of unanswered calls that awaited them. Felix was still sitting in the exact same position, his head in his paws, staring numbly at the carpet when the police arrived at the station.

He felt distant and detached, like he was watching something on television as he gave his statement to the two uniformed officers, his voice sounding muffled and far away. He explained what he had said to Duke, what the child had said to him the night before, and how he had kept him on the line while they waited for the cops so he wouldn't see his parents...like they were. The police thanked him and he mumbled a vague affirmation, a ringing in his ears.

"What happened to the child?" Felix heard someone ask, and he looked up to see Sarah standing in front of the two officers. He realized all the staff were looking at the officers as well, the same question written on each of their faces. He hadn't asked them what had happened. He could already guess; he didn't really want to hear what he thought confirmed.

"It appears that the father had been out drinking, and upon returning had begun an altercation with the mother. It sounds like it ran on for several hours, according to the neighbors." One of the officers said, sounding to Felix as though he was standing at the other end of an empty hall. "At some point it escalated, and the father took an unlicensed gun from one of the bedrooms and shot his wife. After this he turned the gun on himself." The officer finished, leaving a horrified silence in the office.

"You kept him in his room and stopped him from seeing his parents...the way they were. Thank you for that. You saved him from a pretty horrible sight." The other officer said to Felix.

"Hey," Felix said, his voice sounding croaky and gruff after not making any sound for so long. "I just did my job, right?" He said with a mirthless little laugh that sounded like a curse in a cathedral in the silent office. He couldn't work out what was worse; that the child's parents were dead and he was probably destined for a horrible life in an orphanage, or that none of that surprised him, he thought dismally, vaguely aware of more words washing over his ears without heed.

****

It was hours later, although Felix wasn't sure how many. The sun was up, shining its light through his drawn blinds, so it must have been a few. After the police had left Claire had sent him home, seeing the blank, dead look in his eyes, offering even to call him a taxi. He had declined though, saying he needed to clear his head, and that the walk would do him good. A dried and dead plant lay on one of the window sills, a remnant from a time he had tried to keep it alive, a remnant of a time he had tried to care.

His head was still just as numb and black as it had been since he'd heard Duke's voice on the other end of that line. He didn't know why he was feeling so bad; it wasn't his parents cooling on a slab downtown, it wasn't him that had to endure the miserable line of foster homes poor Duke had in his future, but for some reason he still felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. That horrible black emptiness inside gave a twist now and then, as if to maliciously remind him that he hadn't been able to do anything for Duke, that he had failed him.

He was dying for a cigarette too, but he had left his at the station, beside the ashtray that had overflowed while he was trying to convince Duke to stay in his room and away from...from what he would have seen if he'd gone outside.

He had the feeling he should be crying, but no tears seemed to come. They didn't even want to come, not hovering at the edges of his eyelids, not stinging his eyes with their promise, they just...weren't there. Who was he crying for? For what? Nothing.

A forest of empty bottles were scattered across the table, although he wasn't certain they were all from tonight. They couldn't have been, could they? He had got home...and he had needed a drink...but that was the problem wasn't it, that one drink ended up coming in a dozen different bottles.

You couldn't even do anything to help him, the words flashed in his head suddenly, the thought cutting through his numb mind like an arrow through mist. He gave a little whimper and hugged his legs close to his chin, trying to ignore thoughts like that. But once they had started, there was nothing to stop them, was there?

What was the point of it all? He knew he was just dealing with the arse-end of society, the poor bastards who had all the problems dumped on them, but lately the number of problems seemed to have grown until they seemed to dominate, and the number of answers they seemed to give them had shrunk and shrunk until it seemed they were doing nothing at all. It was always, 'call someone else', 'talk to these people', just redirecting problems to others who did the same.

There were just so many problems it seemed impossible for them to help anyone. All they ever got was the bad news...maybe it would help if Felix got himself a new job, where he didn't have to listen to peoples sorrows all day...but it would be no good. After too much of this it was impossible to be happy. When you did you just felt guilty, or disgusted at yourself, because you knew how many people were weeping at the same time as you were laughing. It was always a sobering thought.

Well, except for now of course, Felix thought hazily, eyes roaming over the field of bottlenecks in front of him in the half-light of the flat. He needed to sleep; he was working that night and needed to get some rest before he did. He couldn't sleep like this though...he needed something to...just...help him along, like. His thoughts were focused on the bottle of codeine in the medicine cabinet that his brother had left there when he had moved to Europe. He used them now and then, just to help himself off to sleep, but right now he was seriously considering upping the dosage to make sure it was a deep sleep.

In all honesty he didn't mind if he didn't wake up.

He almost wished he wouldn't.

It was dangerous thinking, he knew, but right now his head wasn't right. He just felt so helpless, so weak, so unable to do anything, to help anyone. In his mind's eye a massive black wave of despair, all the problems, all the doubts and fears and regrets he listened to were forming, towering over him and ready to crush him into oblivion beneath it. This was about the time he should be calling himself on his own helpline, he thought, laughing mirthlessly, the sound dark and unfamiliar in his ears.

He had always heard the phrase, 'dealing with your demons', and thought it was nothing more than that, just a phrase, but perhaps it was not. Perhaps all his insecurities and problems had manifested themselves into reality, clawing their way into control of his body...he shouldn't think like that, he thought, that was just silly. He was tired, that was all. All he needed to do was get a good sleep, he thought, hauling himself to his feet and heading for the medicine cabinet. A good, long sleep to get rid of those demons.

A long sleep.

The longest ever.

Halfway across the room, a low pitched buzzing made him look around the room, the state he was in suddenly reminding him of a certain movie as he sought out the sound, random flashes in his memory from long ago.

"Some sort of electric snake in the sky." He muttered to himself as he found his cell phone amid the bottles on the table, staring at the unrecognized number calling him blankly. "Coming right toward us." He said, pressing the 'answer' button with some effort.

"Hello?" He said, unsure.

"Felix?" The phone answered.

"Yes?" Felix ventured.

"It's me. Saul. From the other night." The Wolf's voice came down the phone line.

"Oh." Felix replied. He couldn't think of anything else.

"Are you alright?" Saul asked, sounding concerned. "I thought maybe you wanted to grab a coffee or something, but you don't sound too good..."

"No. I'm not that good." Felix said simply. "I've had an awful day, I've been drinking since dawn and I'm about to down as much codeine as I can before I fall asleep, so I might have to take a rain check on that coffee. What about you?" Felix asked, an edge of manic cheerfulness to his voice.

"Give me you address." Saul said, an edge of command in his voice Felix had not heard before. "I'm coming over. Please, don't do anything until I get there."

"Don't do that. You don't need to..." Felix begun wearily, running a paw through his tawny headfur.

"Yes I do. Please Felix, don't do anything stupid. I'll be there soon." Saul said, a note of pleading in his voice. Felix tried to argue with him but the Wolf would not have a bar of it, Felix eventually caving and giving him his address.

He was sitting with his paws clasped between his knees, staring blankly at a damp patch on the plaster of the far wall when there came a desperate thumping on the door. It went on for a few seconds before he actually registered as to what it was, blinking blearily in the noon sun as he opened his front door. Saul was standing on his doorstep, concern etched in his face as he looked over Felix.

"You didn't take any did you?" He asked, grabbing Felix by the shoulders, slamming the door behind him as he came in.

"No." Felix croaked, smiling weakly. "You stopped me just in time." He said, looking up at the tall Wolf. Now he felt the sting of tears, the cringing, twisting feeling his soul gave whenever he thought about Duke. Now the tears came, fast and hot, flowing down his cheeks and through his fur as he fell into Saul's surprised arms. "Oh gods, I couldn't do anything for him. I couldn't even help him Saul. I failed him, just like I failed everyone else. But it was worse this time; I had to listen to him as I failed him, I had to listen as his parents lay dead in the next room. He was just a child..." He sobbed, face buried in Saul's jacket.

He felt Saul's arms cross behind his back and hold him tight, heard the Wolf shushing him gently, whispering comfort into his ear. They sat down on the couch together, Saul still holding Felix, Felix still weeping uncontrollably, all the sorrow he had bottled in coming out all at once. He must look like a fool, he thought, but he couldn't stop himself. He tearfully explained what had happened to Duke, what he had done, how he had failed the child.

After a while the tears stopped coming and he straightened up, sniffing and feeling stupid for breaking down like that in front of this...this...stranger. But it wasn't like that, he thought...it wasn't like he was some weirdo he'd met...he felt like he could really talk to Saul, like he'd really be someone he could connect with. It was probably just another way to make himself look foolish, he thought as he looked at Saul, who was still looking grim at the thought of what had happened to Duke. The two of them sat on the old couch together, the old springs groaning under them as Saul eyed the mess of bottles on the tables apprehensively. He didn't say anything about them though.

"I'm sorry..." He began, but the Wolf just cut him off.

"That's alright. Really. After something like that, you're expected to react like that. How do you feel now?" He asked

"Better." Felix sniffed, feeling for the life of him like a child under the watchful gaze of a mother.

"You don't want to...sleep forever anymore?" Saul asked, and Felix shook his head.

"No. I guess you were right, talking does help." Felix said, attempting a smile.

"You almost gave me a heart attack when you started talking like you were before." Saul said, still looking a bit concerned. "I was worried."

"I'm alright now, really." Felix said, smiling. "I guess things just got a bit too much for me." He said, thinking of the black wave that had appeared in his mind's eyes, threatening to engulf him...it was gone now, like it had never been there. "You're different, do you know that?"

"Oh yeah?"

"Twice you've caught me about to...about to make a dumb mistake." Felix said, blushing and looking at his footpaws. "Normally once would send any beast running. Not you though. Why?" Felix asked, feeling a bit rude by being so upfront.

"I know what it feels like. To be completely hopeless, to be utterly lost. And I know it helps to talk. It does. A lot of people take a lot from the work you do Felix. Try not to forget that." Saul said, and Felix smiled, the feeling of a weight lifting from his shoulders.

"Thanks...I still feel bad about poor Duke though." Felix said, frowning.

"That wasn't something you could have helped. You didn't pull the trigger, you didn't start the argument." Saul said, laying a paw on Felix's shoulder. "You did what you could. You stopped a child from seeing his parents dead. That wouldn't have been pleasant for him, and it would have changed his life in much worse ways than just foster care. Yes, he has a hard road laid out for him, but you did everything you could. You helped him." Saul said, and Felix blushed again, but this time it was a happy, hot blush, one of embarrassment from Saul's praise.

"Thanks." Felix muttered, trying to hide his smile. "Why do I always feel better when I talk to you?"

"Because I'm the only one you're not paid to listen to?" Saul suggested, and Felix laughed.

"Nice." Felix said, paw spread across his forehead as he stared at the ceiling, relaxing back on the couch, close enough to Saul to hear his heart beating in his chest. The strong, steady beat was somehow comforting, like a big metronome ticking over in his head.

"I try my best." Saul murmured.

"Really though, why are you so nice?" Felix asked, not looking at Saul, and he heard the Wolf pause, a sudden lack of sound that Felix had come to recognize through his job that he had stricken a chord.

"I just want to make the world a better place." He said, sounding serious all of a sudden, and even a bit embarrassed. "I know it might seem silly to you, but that's what I do. It's just little things, but it helps in the big picture. The more people I help, the more they help each other, and so it spreads onwards. The nicer we treat others, the nicer we ourselves get treated. Let these tiny acts of charity become common ground on which to build a better tomorrow." He said, sounding like he was quoting something.

"That's beautiful." Felix murmured vaguely, still staring at the ceiling.

"I heard a wise man say it once." Saul said.

"Really?"

"No. I heard it in a song. Sounds good though, huh?" Saul asked, and Felix laughed, muscles aching, head throbbing, but happy.

"Doesn't make it any less relevant." He said quietly.

"Mm." Saul murmured.

"So that's what you do? Save people, one day at a time?" Felix asked, feeling drowsy.

"Yeah." Saul said, his voice almost a whisper now. He sounded somber and lost now, although it could have just been a trick of the mind as Felix faded off to sleep. "The thing is, how many days do I have left?"

"How many days do any of us have left?" Felix mumbled as his leaden lids closed, the long-absent sleep he had been looking for rolling in.

"Mm." Saul murmured again, but Felix wasn't paying any attention, fading off to sleep, his head lolling back on the couch. There was something pulling at his attention, trying to get noticed, but it might have just been the alcohol. How come he'd never met anybody quite like Saul, how come he seemed almost unreal in his kindness and compassion? He tried to ask the Wolf but his tongue was too thick and tired to make any sense.

"What was that?" Saul asked, leaning over Felix's vision. That's funny, Felix mused vaguely, half asleep. With the light behind Saul's head, and his eyes half closed, it almost looked to Felix as if the Wolf had a halo...but he was tired, and drunk. He was just seeing things.

"What are you?" He managed finally, but the effort of managing those few words was too much, and he felt himself slipping further into sleep, like he was wrapped in warm velvet. He heard the Wolf say something but couldn't make it out, grunting incoherently in reply as he drifted off to sleep. The unbearable weight that had dogged him for so long was completely forgotten, a feeling of hope, one he'd forgotten about long ago, washing through him as he slept, comforted by the close warmth of the Wolf.

****

Felix awoke with a jerk sometime later, glancing around his apartment as he did so, taking in the noticeable lack of Saul that there seemed to be. He unconsciously did the four-point check one undergoes after falling asleep and leaving a stranger in ones house unattended.

Stereo, wallet, arsehole and kidneys; none seemed missing or violated, which was always a good sign...not that he would have minded the third, he thought as he got to his feet, scratching his neck as he look aimlessly around the messy floor of his apartment. He realized with a bit of a shock that he had actually thought of another beast in a sexual way...he felt a stirring in his gut he hadn't felt for months and grinned wearily, still half asleep and dreaming of Saul naked, but that grin faded when he saw the clock, ticking away seconds on the dirty wall.

He was late for work already...shite, he thought, changing into some clothes he hoped were clean, tripping and stumbling as he fought to get his legs into his jeans, swearing profusely as he did so. He had slept far too long, the night catching up on him while he had been asleep. His head throbbed from drinking too much the night...no, the day, he corrected himself mentally, before.

As he hurried past the mirror in the hallway to the front door and checked his fur in the mirror, something caught his eye. A scrawled note on a piece of scrap paper wedged in the mirrors corner,

'Felix, you looked too peaceful to wake so I let you be. Hope you're feeling better today. If you feel like it, maybe we could grab that coffee tonight after you finish work; I'll still be awake, so just give me a call after you're finished.

Saul'

Felix stared at the note for a second or two, all thoughts of being late forgotten now, suddenly reliving a few of the thoughts about the Wolf undressed...no time for that now though, he told himself firmly as he practically ran out the door and towards work, hurrying over the bridge without a moments hesitation.

Claire looked up when he came in, nodding without saying anything. She too looked a little shell-shocked still from Duke's call the night before, and didn't say anything about Felix being late, just motioning him to his station, which was still empty. She was good like that; she knew when things could get a little hard.

Sarah gave him a wan smile as he sat down beside her on his creaky old chair; she was already in the middle of a conversation, but she still mouthed a few words to him.

'You alright?" She asked mutely, and Felix nodded as he slid his own headpiece over his ears.

"Good as I can be." He whispered in reply, and the Husky smiled weakly, going back to her conversation. Felix fumbled around behind the computer monitor and found his cigarettes from where he'd left them the night before. He lit himself up one as he leaned back in the chair, waiting for a call to come.

It was a slow night though, and Felix only got a few calls that night, nothing too serious, just a few poor beasts who needed someone to talk too. In fact, there was really only one thing that night that stuck in his mind. He had been dreading another call like Duke's, dreading another big call, and that night he got it. It wasn't big like the poor kid's had been, big in an awful way, but it was big nonetheless.

"Good evening, thank you for calling public support, how may I help?" He said as another call clicked through to his headset.

"Uh...hello?" A female voice responded.

"Good evening. What can I help you with?" Felix asked, swallowing a yawn. It had been a long night...day...whatever it had been before he had slept, and he hadn't slept enough anyway.

"I don't know if you remember me...I called a few nights ago..." The voice said, although Felix did not recognize it.

"Oh yeah? What about?" Felix replied, confused.

"I was the girl..." The voice hesitated for a moment, before blurting the words out quickly. "I was the girl whose boyfriend was beating her."

"Really? I didn't recognize your voice." Felix replied, genuinely surprised. "What happened?"

"I just want to say I took your advice."

"My advice?"

"I called the police on him, and I told him it was over. I gave them enough evidence to lock him up for assaulting me. He'll be gone for a while, and by the time he gets back, I'll be long gone." The voice said on the other end of the phone.

"You did? That's great!" Felix said, suddenly feeling very happy. That's why he hadn't recognized her voice; before she had been timid, quiet, and afraid. Now she was firm, confident sounding, and he could even hear a bit of happiness in the girl's voice when she spoke about her abusive boyfriend being dragged away by the police.

"Yeah, one of the officers told me that he'd soon find out what they do to woman-beaters in prison." She replied, sounding savagely pleased.

"I'm glad it worked out for you" Felix said earnestly. He was; it wasn't often he heard of his advice actually helping someone.

"I just wanted to ring...to say thank you. If it wasn't for you I never would have had the guts to turn him in. Thank you so much."

"Hey, I was just doing my job." Felix replied, feeling suddenly lightheaded. The girl thanked him again and hung up, and he pulled his headset off, a smile across his muzzle. Saul was right, he realized...what he did really did help people, they just seldom got the chance to ring up and say thank you. All it had taken was that one girl, and suddenly Felix was filled with something he hadn't felt in a long time. Pride; in his job, in what he did, in his helping those who needed it, and in himself.

And to think, he might have given it up, given it all up, if it hadn't been for Saul...Saul! He realized suddenly, remembering the Wolf's note as he glanced at the clock. It was nearing the end of his shift now, and he could barely keep still as he watched the seconds tick by. He had to get to Saul, to tell him he was right, to thank the Wolf for being such a good friend.

It was probably a good thing the Coyote had no more calls in that night, because he would have been in no state to think about anyone but himself. As soon as his shift ended he practically bolted out the door, almost bowling over an officious-looking couple of suits as he hurried down the pavement to a payphone.

He ignored their snorts of ire and angry glances as he called Saul, hoping the Wolf would stay true to his word and still be awake...one ring...two rings...come on Saul, pick up, he thought desperately...three rings...what are the chances of finding a non-vandalized payphone in this part of town? Felix thought distractedly as he willed the phone to answer. Five rings...six rings...damn, he cursed inwardly. He must be asleep. Of course he's asleep, it's four in the morn-

"Hello?" A sleepy voice answered on the other end of the line. He must have answered without Felix noticing, because the Coyote gaped for a few seconds, taken off guard as he sought for something to say.

"Saul?" He managed, feeling foolish. He was used to answering phones, not calling them.

"Yes." The Wolf replied.

"It's Felix...I didn't wake you up did I?"

"No, I'm awake." The Wolf replied, although Felix heard a yawn that told him Saul was lying.

"Sorry..."

"It's okay, really. What do you want?" Saul asked.

"I was just wondering...only if you're awake...how about that coffee?" Felix asked.

"Sure, I'd love to." Saul replied. They sorted out a time and a place, a little place just on the other side of the park that was still open despite how early it was. Felix skirted the park on the way there, not feeling brave enough to go in there alone, not at this time of the morning anyway. The day was another matter, the park an area of verdant grass, beautiful flowers and magnificent trees, but at night...it was just a bloody dark place with way too many hiding places.

Saul was standing bathed in the warm yellow light of the diner when Felix got there, a faint smile on his face as his fur seemed to shimmer in the light, his eyes looking tired and somewhat hollow

"Morning." Saul said simply, his voice sounding a little creaky.

"Sorry I woke you." Felix said, feeling stupid, but the Wolf just smiled.

"I was awake, really. Don't worry about it." Saul replied.

"You're a terrible liar." Felix said, and Saul just chuckled.

"I know, but I'm also buying you coffee, so hopefully that makes up for it." The Wolf said as they stepped into the diner. It was warm inside and the air smelt pleasantly of pancakes and grease. They sat down and Saul ordered the two of them some coffee, blinking wearily as he smiled at Felix.

"So what were you so excited about that you got me out at this time of the morning?" He asked.

"I just wanted to say...you were right." Felix said, smiling.

"What?" Saul replied, confused.

"When you said I did help people, and I didn't realize it...you were right."

"What's bought this realization on?" Saul asked as the coffee arrived at their booth.

"You remember that girl I told you about who rang me a few nights back? The one getting bashed by her boyfriend?"

"Mm." Saul said, sipping gingerly at the steaming hot mug.

"Well she called me again tonight. Said she took my advice...she turned her boyfriend in for assault, and now she's turning her life around." Felix said, grinning.

"Well done!" The Wolf said happily, his grin broad. "I told you so, you just didn't believe me!"

"Well I do now. Don't worry." Felix said, smiling as Saul chuckled. The Wolf sipped again at his coffee and Felix couldn't help but stare at him, the way the light played on his fur, the strong curve of his muzzle, the glint in his tired eyes.

"What's the matter? I have something in my teeth?" Saul asked, catching Felix staring. The Coyote blushed and looked down at the scarred and pitted table top, embarrassed. "What is it?" Saul asked.

"I have to say this..." Felix said slowly, looking up to see the Wolf nodding, looking interested. He had too...it had plagued his mind from the moment he had awoken, and he had to get it off his chest before he burst. "For so long, I've been so depressed, and I've just been...dead inside. I haven't felt anything for so long I've forgotten what it feels like to feel. And now you come along, and all of a sudden...I'm feeling these things I've forgotten all about." He said, his voice barely above a whisper, looking to see if Saul understood.

"Like what?" The Wolf asked.

"Like...happiness...and fear, and joy...whenever I see you." Felix said, blushing.

"Oh." Saul replied. "Oh." He repeated, realization dawning. "Really?"

"Yes..." Felix said, his cheeks burning. "I feel all these things, and I'm so happy I can feel again...and I don't want to lose it." He whispered, looking Saul dead in the eye. "Not again. I don't want to stop feeling again."

"No." Saul replied, smiling softly. "I don't want you to stop feeling either. I don't want you to end up on that bridge again." Felix smiled and gritted his teeth, sudden compulsion gripping him.

"It's too hot in here. Let's go for a walk." He suggested, and he saw the Wolf cock an eyebrow, but he said nothing. He stared back for a few seconds, then nodded gently, still smiling that same, soft smile he always had. They paid and left the diner, and Felix grabbed Saul's arm and led him across the road and into the park, his heart racing as he did so.

They walked away from the path and onto the grass, away from the lights, alone in the darkness. By himself Felix would have never walked this park alone, but with Saul by his side, and his head reeling with drunken passion he felt he could face anything. The dew was already set and soaked through to his fur as Felix pulled the Wolf further and further from the lights and into the darkness, his breath coming quick and fast now.

"So," Saul murmured, his breathing sounding heavy too, his strong form close at Felix's side. "Tell me more about these 'feelings' of yours."

"Passion." Felix grunted simply as he grabbed both side of Saul's face suddenly and kissed him, hearing his blood rushing in his ears as he locked lips with the Wolf. There was an explosion in his head as he tasted the Wolf, all memories of this sort of thing long forgotten.

Had to make up for lost time, Felix thought as he kissed Saul hungrily, their muzzles grinding into one another and their tongues dancing together as their paws explored each other's bodies. Felix's paws moved quickly and excitedly, running his paws over everything he could, feeling Saul's strong paws embracing him tightly, feeling his paws kneading his buttocks and letting out a little grunt of pleasure.

He could feel his sheath begin to bulge and felt Saul's doing likewise as it was pressed up against him, and his head reeled with passion, his nostrils thick with the scent of the dew and the turf, Saul's musk sending him mad with lust. He started to buck his hips into the Wolf already, his breathing ragged as his body begged to be fucked.

His paw strayed down to feel Saul's own through the material of his trousers, massaging his sheath rather less than gently, the Wolf breaking away from the kiss to let out a moan that sounded louder than it was in the dark, silent park. Felix's breath caught in his throat as he suddenly realized how deviant they were being, about to fuck in the middle of a public park, his heart beating excitedly as he slipped his paw into Saul's belt-loop, tucking his claws down into the warm recesses of his trousers as he continued to hungrily taste Saul's mouth.

Saul used his free paws to pull off his shirt, his body looking thinner than Felix had expected it to be, but perhaps it was just the effect of the pale half-light of the park. Either way, Felix didn't care at the moment, his head still reeling. He fought with the buckle on Saul's belt-loop wildly until it finally came loose in his paw, the Wolf pulling Felix's shirt off his back as he did so. Saul stepped out of his trousers and kissed Felix again, their embrace slower and more passionate now, the Coyote panting slightly from exertion as he felt Saul's now almost-erect cock pressed up between them.

He took it in his paw and began stroking it as they kissed, it's tip already coated in precum. He worked his way slowly down to the base of Saul's cock and massaged his knot gently, making the Wolf cry out suddenly in pleasure, his head rolling back to howl his ecstasy to the moon.

Saul suddenly gripped Felix's shoulders and lowered him quickly to the ground, the long, dew-sodden grass beneath them as soft as any mattress. Felix guided Saul's hips above his head and let his eyes take in his fat shaft as the Wolf struggled to remove Felix's pants. His fat red cock glistened in the half-light above him, and the Coyote could not wait for him to act, taking the shaft in his jaws, giving a little grin of satisfaction as he heard Saul give a whimper of pleasure. He felt his own pants being pulled frantically off him by the Wolf but paid it little heed, his tongue working the cock in his mouth desperately, Saul's hips bucking involuntarily and starting to fuck his mouth.

He felt Saul's paw on his cock and growled in pleasure, the low sound traveling into the Wolf's cock and making him shudder slightly; he could feel Saul was not far from the point of no return now, and sped up his pace.

But before he could send the Wolf over the edge he felt him pulling away, and opened his eyes to see the Wolf's flushed face looking over him, a hungry grin on his muzzle. His tongue was lolling to one side and his silvery fur was ruffled and covered with dew, making him shine in the weak light of the distant park lights.

"What's wrong?" Felix asked.

"Nothing. I have something else for you though." He said, his voice little more than a sultry growl as he applied a thick coating of saliva to his fore and middle fingers, grinning still as he looked down on Felix. The Coyote gave a little nod and Saul sent his paw southward, slowly rubbing and massaging Felix's tailhole, slowly sliding in one, than both of his fingers, sending them deep as he watched the expression on Felix's face.

He arched his back and gave a whimper as he felt himself being penetrated, his cock throbbing and steam rising off his body to mingle with the mist that was beginning to settle around them, his eyes clenched tight shut as he felt Saul work his way deeper into him. He bit his lip so hard to stop from crying out that he tasted blood, and then, just as suddenly as it had started, it was gone.

"That was great..." Felix panted, looking up at the still-grinning Saul. "Why'd you stop?"

"I didn't." Saul murmured. "That was the warm-up." He said, now crouching right before Felix, his still-wet cock rigid as a bar as he looked down on the Coyote. Felix realized suddenly what he had been doing and laughed...he'd just been lubing him up for what was to come.

"Hurry." Felix said desperately as he eyed the Wolf's pole, feeling his hunger growing to fever pitch. Like he had said, he hadn't felt like this in what seemed like years.

Saul lifted both of the Coyote's legs up gently, placing them on his shoulders as he positioned himself, his cock hovering just before Felix's tailhole. He took tight grip of Felix's waist and eased himself slowly in, the Coyote letting out a yelp that turned into a groan of pleasure as he felt himself stretching around Saul's member.

He felt his tongue lolling as Saul worked his way deeper into him, biting his lip as the Wolf started to pull out again, grunting as he started a steady, measured pace on the Coyote. Felix let his head fall back and the dew soak through to his skin, his breath rising thick and fast as he felt Saul penetrate him deeper and deeper with each stroke, the immense heat from the Wolf's body rolling over him in waves as he worked smoothly and steadily.

Felix looked up into Saul's eyes and saw him grin, and felt his own face grinning back, sighing a little as Saul quickened his pace, the Wolf's tongue hanging out over Felix as he worked harder and harder. Felix felt his member brush against Saul's silky chest fur once; twice, then again and gave a little quiver of pleasure as he felt the inevitable rising tide inside him.

It seemed that Saul felt it inside himself too, because soon he began to thrust harder and deeper into Felix, gripping his legs and pulling him closer so he could penetrate him deeper, his teeth gritted now as he did so, grunting with exertion. Felix began to let out involuntary yelps of pleasure as Saul continued to fuck away; he couldn't help it. Looking up at his face, his every breath full of his own and Saul's musk and odor mingled together, feeling himself stretch and shift around the Wolf's bulk...it was almost too much for him.

Saul was close now, close enough that he could taste it on his tongue as he fucked faster and faster, his eyes locked with Felix's as they both neared orgasm, the Wolf grunting louder and louder as he neared the point of no return, the hair down his spine standing on end as he tensed up for what was coming...

Felix came just an instant before Saul, his back arching and hot seed spraying up in a milky arc as he came, his scrabbling claws digging up thick clumps of turf as Saul came too, his cock suddenly going rigid inside Felix and spewing a thick load into him. His claws, still holding fast on Felix's thighs, dug right into the Coyote as he tensed his whole body, and he threw back his head and howled wildly, happily, howled with pleasure until the whole sky seemed to be full of his howl.

The sky was his howl, and the earth was Saul himself, Felix thought as he held the still panting Wolf tight, gazing into his eyes as they shuddered and quivered together in post-coitus. Their body heat sent steam spiraling up into the sky, and their fur was soaked in cool dew. And for once, Felix didn't have any thoughts in his head. For once, he was at peace.

The two of them lay there naked in the grass, their fur covered in dew and sweat from their encounter, their nostrils thick of the rich smells of the turf and grass mixed with their own odors, a heady scent with made the streetlights seem to shimmer and shine.

Saul was strangely quiet as he lay there in the dark, his breath sounding oddly shallow, but Felix was so tired it was little more than he could do to curl up close on the wet grass beside the Wolf with his head on his chest, Saul's body heat keeping him warm. Steam rose gently off the pair in the dim half-light of the park as they cooled, but the two of them stayed silent, soaking in the moment.

Maybe if I don't move I'll never have to, Felix thought vaguely, his brain clouded by sleep. Maybe this moment, this perfect feeling, will last forever. Any Faustian deal he would have happily penned if only he'd been able to live forever in that moment, listening to the heartbeat of Saul so close to him. But time must move on, as it does for all mortal men, and the moment passed, Saul's weight shifting as he pulled himself up onto his elbows.

"We should get going. We can't sleep here." He murmured.

"You're right. But you want to, don't you." Felix said, looping an arm around Saul's neck and pulling his muzzle close to Felix's own, their foreheads pressed together gently.

"Of course I do." He said, his voice little more than a hoarse whisper. "But we can't." He said, pulling himself to his footpaws, offering a paw to the Coyote. Felix was surprised when he almost pulled the Wolf over when he tried to pull himself up. He knew the Wolf looked thin when he had pulled off his shirt, but he hadn't thought he was so thin that Felix could pull him off balance. He shrugged the thought away as he watched the naked Wolf dress himself, eyes sparkling as he ran them over his firm body...

He struggled into his own clothes, the wet dew sparkling on his fur as he covered it up, his clothes damp from lying in the grass for so long. He lost balance and almost fell, Saul catching him as he snorted with laughter. In the half light he could see Saul only just managed a half-hearted smile in return, and in his heart felt a note of dread. He tried to shrug it away but this time it would not go, lingering around the corners of his mind, tugging at his attention.

The two of them walked close and in silence through the night-time streets to get home, their breath crystallizing in the air as the temperature dropped suddenly.

"Looks like you were right about us getting dressed." Felix said, shivering and pushing his paws deeper into his pockets. "If we'd stayed like we were, we probably would have ended up frozen together!"

"Mm." Saul said, chuckling distractedly, as if he had something on his mind. Felix shot a sidelong glance at him and saw the look of deep thought written in the creases in his brow, the silvery light of the street lamps making him look pale and ghostly. He really was beautiful, Felix thought, slightly in awe of him. His felt a twist in his heart and knew right then, knew for real, knew for a fact, what he had suspected for a while.

It hadn't just been the sex. Even without that, Felix had felt the same, the rush of joy he felt now when he saw the Wolf, the feeling of hope and peace he got in his company all the time, the feelings he'd forgotten about before he'd met him. He felt a kinship, a completion when he was with Saul that he'd never felt before. When he'd met the Wolf he'd been about to do...about to do something horrible, but now, that seemed like a distant and vague memory, like one of those dreams you aren't sure if you had or not. He felt like a new being, fresh, reborn, a shining phoenix from the ashes of what he had been, and it was all because of Saul. He was the only thing that seemed to matter now, the moon, the sun, the air he breathed, Saul was a looming iceberg in his mind's eye, impossible to avoid thinking about.

The two of them had paused on a bridge, a different one to where they had met, but spanning the same wide, rushing river. This is where they split up to go their separate way, and Felix felt the words forming on his tongue as he looked at the look in Saul's eyes, at the sad smile that seemed to linger about his muzzle.

"Felix..." Saul began, and the Coyote could stand it no longer.

"I love you." He blurted out suddenly. Saul stood there looking dumbstruck, blinking once or twice as he sought desperately for his tongue, gaping as he looked at the Coyote.

"What?" He managed, sounding choked and shocked.

"I love you. I think I've loved you since the very first time I saw you. There's something about you Saul, something I've never felt around anyone else, something that makes me feel happy, and complete, and like a real beast. You're what makes me more than I was Saul." Felix said, babbling desperately now, emotion overwhelming him entirely. "I can't explain it Saul, and I know it sounds stupid, and crazy, but its how I feel, and nothing could change that. I love you Saul. I love you." He said, breathing heavily as he fell into silence, waiting for Saul's response. The Wolf looked at him for a few seconds, his expression completely unreadable, the light from the streetlamps shining onto the back of his head and blinding Felix.

Just say the words...just say the words...Felix pleaded silently.

"Felix...no." Saul said, sounding wretched.

"What?" Felix asked, more shocked than anything. Not those words...

"You can't...I mean, we can't...we could never...it's pointless..." Saul mumbled, making no sense.

"What? What the hell are you talking about Saul?" Felix asked, confused.

"You can't fall in love with me!" Saul barked suddenly, eyes wide, taking the Coyote aback. He subsided after a moment, sorrow in his eyes as he looked at Felix. "I'm sorry."

"Why can't I?" Felix asked, the pain in him more than he had thought he could bear.

"It doesn't exist. I don't exist. You're falling in love with a dead man." Saul said sadly.

"I don't understand..." Felix began

"You don't need to!" Saul said, backing away. "Leave! Forget about me. Forget I ever existed...it's for the best."

"No!" Felix insisted. "No, you're for the best! You Saul, you!" He pleaded, but the Wolf just shook his head

"I'm sorry." He murmured, before turning and hurrying off the bridge, leaving Felix standing there in the lamplight, unsure of what had just happened.

Felix heard his front door click closed behind him, and registered vaguely that he was home, but his mind was elsewhere. It was blank in fact, devoid of thought or emotion. His heart ached like nothing he'd ever felt though; it was as if his heart had died in his chest.

He sat down on the couch with a thud, glancing around his apartment like a man dazed. What had happened? It had all been going so well...and then it hadn't. It had collapsed like a house of cards...but why? He didn't even understand what was going on...

What had Saul said? He didn't exist...what did that mean? He didn't know, he thought as a sudden fire curled in his belly. He didn't know, but he was going to find out. He loved him, and he wasn't going to let him go that easily, he thought with such force that he shocked himself.

Two weeks ago he would have wept for a loss like this, but now he was fighting, fighting for the one he loved. He didn't now why he had reacted like that, but he had to know. He had to know or else he'd never be at peace again, his mind constantly searching the 'what ifs', no matter how hard he tried to bury the memory.

He didn't know what Saul's problem was, but he knew there was one way he could find out.

And only one place where he could do that, he thought, a sudden determination gripping him, his eyes narrowing as he hauled himself out of his seat.

A few hours later he was hunched over a desk in the dimly-lit archives in the back room of the counseling station, listening through the call logs from a few months for the now familiar sound of Saul's voice. He had finally convinced Claire to let him go through the archives after about half an hour of begging and cajoling, and despite her initial apprehension he eventually talked her around to letting him go through the archives to try and find his call log.

Of course, if he was caught by anyone, Claire knew nothing about any of this. This was breaking a lot of privacy laws, Claire had reiterated repeatedly, so if there were any repercussions Felix would be taking the full brunt of them. He didn't care; all he wanted to do was find Saul's call, so he could try and find out why he had reacted like he had when Felix had told him he loved him. He didn't know what he would do one he found out what was bothering Saul, but that was the least of his worries right now.

Right now he was listening frantically through the old logs, and the gnawing feeling of worry that was living in his gut right now was telling him he had already missed Saul's voice, or he wouldn't recognize it, or it might not even be here. He had been searching for what seemed hours already (he had lost all track of time) without any fruit to his search, and there were thousands upon thousands of the logs here. He was about to give up and admit defeat when he finally heard Saul's voice through the head phones. He pressed the stop button suddenly, feeling for the first time uncertain about what he was doing.

This was supposed to be private, he thought; this is something Saul came to us for help for, because he couldn't go to anyone else. Could he really pry into something that private, that personal? But he had to, didn't he, he thought grimly, paw hovering above the play button as he gnawed his lip in indecision, unsure of what to do. If he didn't find out, and he let Saul go at this, he'd spend the rest of his life wondering what happened.

If he found out what was troubling Saul, and he confronted about it, tried to help him with it, Saul might hate him for invading his privacy, but he had to. It would be better than never ever knowing, better than thinking about it for the rest of his life, wishing he'd done something different, wondering if he might have been able to save what he and Saul had. Because there was something there; when he'd seen Saul's face on the bridge, just for an instant, he'd known that the Wolf felt the same for him as he for the Wolf. Saul loved him too...so why was he running away?

There was only one way to find out, Felix thought, steeling his resolve and turning the tape back on, his paws shaking, his whole body aquiver with nervous energy as he heard Saul's voice on the other end of the line. And as he listened, part of him died inside.

"Good evening, thank you for calling public support, how may I help?" Said the operator, a female voice, maybe Sarah.

"Uh...hello?" A male voice replied, and Felix could tell it was Saul, although it sounded...different from how he knew it. It sounded less confident, weary, and Felix thought he could even detect a quaver of fear in there.

"Good evening sir. How are you this evening?"

"Not so good." Saul said, sounding broken, defeated.

"Would you like to talk about it?" The operator ventured after a few seconds pause, and Felix thought he heard Saul give a broken sob over the line.

"I...I went to see the doctor today." He said, sighing heavily. "He was worried about my breathing a few weeks ago, so he did some tests then...and I just got the results back today."

"Not good news?" The operator asked softly

"No. Not at all." Saul said, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "I have a virus of the heart. It slowly breaks it down over time, rotting away the tissue. In the final stages it starts attacking the lungs, which explains what was wrong with my breathing."

"I'm so sorry. Is there nothing they can do?"

"No. Not when it's this advanced. All I can do is wait."

"How long?"

"He gave me less a few months. Maybe less. Gods...I don't know what to do..." Saul sobbed. "I feel so helpless..."

Felix could listen no more, fighting back tears as he turned the tape off, the operator trying to console Saul cut off as he dragged the headset from his ears. That's why he'd...why he had said he was a dead man, Felix thought, head in his paws, silent tears running from his eyes and into his bunched-up fists.

That's why he'd looked so thin, so tired...why Felix could almost pull him over ...he was sick. Really sick...oh gods, why was this happening?

He had never said anything...he probably wouldn't have wanted to trouble him, Felix thought, the tears coming faster now as he sobbed out loud. He was going to die...and there was nothing he could do, he thought miserably. He loved him, and now he was to be taken away from him? They had only lain together once, and already he was being taken from him? It just wasn't fair...but he wasn't being fair either. He wasn't the one dying, he didn't have to bear this burden. If he loved him, there was only one thing he could do.

He had to go to him. There was no other choice.

Less than two hours later he was hurrying down the street to where Saul lived, finally finding he lived cross-town after searching the directory for his address; of course, he had never been there. He had barely been able to sit still on the tube, praying he could find Saul and trying to think of what he'd say to him...

What would he say to him? I love you, despite the fact you've only got less than a month to live? I went through your private confessions to find out what was wrong with you? It was all true...but he couldn't say it, could he. What could he say? Saul was right...he was loving a dead man. He didn't care though. It didn't stop the fact that Felix loved him.

It hurt him so much inside, like someone had torn out part of him when he'd heard Saul speak those words on the recording. His heart ached endlessly, but he knew it would get better as soon as he saw Saul, even if it was for just one more time...

He found the apartment Saul was at, a small three-storey job down a side street, and frantically rang the buzzer to his apartment, but there was no reply. In desperation he ran out onto the sidewalk and started yelling his name at the top of his lungs, his voice cracking and threatening to collapse into sobs, passersby staring at him like he was a mad beast. Where was he? This might not even be his apartment...he could have moved, he could have left town, he could be anywhere! It was pointless...he would never find him, and Saul would die without knowing just how much Felix loved him. He loved him enough that not even death would be a barrier to him. But he'd never know...

He'd never know.

He sunk to his knees and sobbed brokenly, oblivious to those around him who were acting like he had lost his mind.

"Saul..." He murmured, tears flowing down his cheeks. What would he do now?

"Hey you!" He heard a voice yell out. "Boy! Hey you!" Felix looked up to see one of the lower windows open, an old Badger leaning out, calling out to him.

"Me?" Felix croaked, pointing to himself, confused.

"Aye, you!" The Badger replied.

"What do you want?" Felix asked, struggling to his feet and scrubbing his eyes with the backs of his paws.

"Are you looking for that Wolfie, boy?" The Badger asked, and Felix's attention snapped to him in an instant.

"Saul?" He asked, his heart suddenly pounding like a trip hammer.

"Aye, that's the one. He's not here."

"Well where is he?" Felix asked desperately, and the Badger looked sad.

"It's a shame." He said, shaking his head

"What is?" Felix yelped, his heart almost stopping.

"He collapsed out in the hall today. They took him up to the hospital; he didn't look well." The Badger said, and Felix felt his heart almost tear in two, his brain struck with terror.

"The hospital?" Felix managed

"Yes. If you want to find him, that's where he'll be." The Badger said, but it was to the Coyote's retreating back as he bolted full-tilt down the road, terror lending him speed. What if Saul...what if he wasn't there when he got there? Felix wondered, unable to even think those horrible thoughts lest they came true.

His lungs were ragged and his muscles were screaming at him as he neared the hospital, dodging pedestrians, ducking and weaving, running onto the road and leaping bonnets and narrowly missing cars where the foot-traffic was too thick for him to pass. He was in more pain than he'd ever been, his throat on fire as he gasped for breath, but it was nothing compared to the jolt of pain he'd felt in his heart when the old Badger had suggested Saul might not be alive anymore.

He'd collapsed in the hallway...the words kept echoing in his ears as he bolted as fast as he could, begging with every aching fiber in his body that Saul would still be there when he arrived...he had to at least tell him...

The sun was just setting when Felix finally reached the hospital, the horizon blood-red in between the skyscrapers that dominated the landscape. He stopped for a few seconds to try and catch his breath before stumbling inside on numb legs, tongue lolling still as he approached the admissions desk and gasped out a few words to the attendant.

"Saul? Yes, he was admitted a few hours ago." The nurse on duty said, eyeing Felix oddly as he leant on the counter, still even now trying to catch his breath. "Are you his next of kin?"

"What?" Felix asked, taken aback.

"He has no-one listed as contacts, next of kin, anything. No-ones come to visit him except for you." The nurse said.

"Really?" Felix said, not really processing what she was saying. He needed to see Saul...he might not have long!

"I'll take you to him if you want. He's in isolation." The Nurse said as she led the slightly bewildered Coyote down a labyrinth-like maze of corridors painted in dull green and smelling of disinfectant.

"Isolation?" Felix asked, not liking the sound of the rather ominous word. "How is he?" He asked, trying to keep the desperation from his voice but failing miserably. The nurse stopped outside a door and turned around to look Felix in the eye, sighing deeply.

"He isn't well. They don't think he'll last much longer. You got here just in time, it seems." The nurse said, and Felix was left dumbstruck, jaw open, gaping noiselessly. His mind had gone completely blank, and all he seemed to be able to do was mouth ineffectually, trying to articulate...anything.

"What?" He breathed, horrified.

"Here we are. You should go and see him. Try not to dwell on what's coming. It's best not to." The nurse said sadly, opening the door she stood before to admit Felix.

It was small, a one-bed room. That is, one bed and a series of complicated and painful-looking machines that blipped and breathed and all led into a series of tubes that all went back to...

Felix's breath caught in his throat as he saw Saul like he was, his nostrils full of tubes, needles in his arms, his fur, so thick and shiny before was dank and lifeless now, and he looked even more pale and thin now than he ever had. His face was gaunt and his eyes were sunken, but they seemed to light up as they saw Felix standing there.

"Felix? Is that you?" Saul managed, his voice barely more than a croak. The Coyote finally broke down at that, tears streaming down his cheeks as he rushed to the Wolf's bedside, clutching at his paw that had once seemed so strong; now it was like a young bird frozen and starving in winter; so frail and cold, as if a single touch could shatter it. Suddenly all those doubts, and fears, and silent questions about what he was going to say were gone; all that was there, all that mattered, was that they were together at last.

"Oh Saul..." Felix whimpered, burying his muzzle in the Wolf's bare chest fur. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you..." Saul wheezed, his figure which had once seemed so strong and full of life barely able to move a paw to rest on top of the weeping Coyote's head.

"Worry me?" Felix repeated, looking up and smiling weakly through his tears. "How did I know you were going to say that?" He said with a thin laugh that turned into a sob. "I almost missed you..." He said quietly, pressing his face into the Wolf's fur until he could hear the faint beating of his heart.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want...this to happen. I didn't mean for you to fall in love with me..." Saul murmured. "I didn't want you have to deal with this, too..."

"Don't ever say that...don't ever say that like you did something wrong." Felix said, looking up again with tear-stained cheeks.

"I couldn't help it." Saul murmured, his eyes milky and going in and out of focus as he tried to look at Felix. "I couldn't help but fall in love with you. I could see it happening, and I didn't want to hurt you..."

"Shh...you could never hurt me." Felix said, holding the side of Saul's head gently and trying to smile, scrubbing the tears away from his eyes. The Wolf tried to smile back to him, but he was too weak to move much.

"What will you do now?" Saul asked.

"I'll wait with you." Felix said simply, without a moment's hesitation or thought. He didn't need to do either; he knew what he wanted to do.

"No, I mean after..." Saul said, letting the sentence trail off and hang in the air.

"I'll still love you. I always will." Felix replied.

"So will I." Saul replied, trying to smile again.

"So you do...?" Felix began, but Saul cut him off.

"Of course. From the moment I saw you on that bridge." The Wolf replied, and Felix blushed.

"I've been meaning to thank you for that..." He said, grinning slightly ashamedly.

"No, I need to thank you." Saul replied.

"Why?" Felix asked, confused.

"For making me feel again." The Wolf murmured.

"What?"

"For so long, after I found out what was coming, I stopped feeling. I was just...empty, waiting for the day when finally I'd feeling a cold touch on my shoulder and it'd all be over." Saul said. "I was nothing. And then you came along, and suddenly I started feeling things I hadn't felt in what seemed years. Happiness, fear, joy...and love. Thank you for making me a real person again." He said, and Felix smiled sadly, tears brimming in his eyes.

"You hear that in a song too?" He asked, the tears stinging his eye, laughing weakly, the sound echoed by the Wolf.

"No. That one was from in here." He said, tapping at his heart with a frail paw.

Felix stayed in that room for nearly two days straight, not once leaving, watching over Saul as he slowly faded away. He held his hand and talked gently with him, about happier times the two had had before they had met, and tried to imagine them together during those times. If only they'd met earlier...

It was funny, Saul never asked how Felix had found him. Perhaps the thought never crossed his mind, he was that sick. Perhaps he thought Felix had gone searching for him and been sent here. Perhaps he knew what Felix had done, knew he would do it all along, and just didn't care. But how would he have known all along? Maybe it was just his imagination. What mattered now was that they were together, that they understood just how much they loved each other.

When the Wolf slept Felix paced the floor worriedly, or sat watching Saul sleep, willing with all his being that he'd last just one more day, one more hour. With each minute that passed Felix thanked the heavens Saul was still alive, and hoped he'd last another. He knew it couldn't last forever though, and that soon he'd run out of time.

It was a funny thing, thinking that lives ran on time, and that somewhere, a clock, a record, was slowly counting down the seconds left in Saul's life. In everybody's life, come to think of it. Maybe there was one out there for Felix, somewhere. Had he been almost of out time up there on the bridge, when he was unsure about whether or not he'd jump and end his life? Had Saul leant him some of his time by saving him? Maybe he had...if so, Felix would gladly give up all of his remaining time for Saul. But he could not, and it was only a matter of time before Saul's time was up...

Saul had fallen asleep not long ago, perhaps half an hour, and Felix was sitting there watching him, nerves shot with anxiety, his knuckles white as he gripped his fists together. Saul had been weak today, barely able to talk to Felix, so the two just sat in silence for a while, the Coyote holding tight the frail and weak paw that not long ago had been so strong. He was just watching the sleeping Wolf, musing over how the dim fluorescent lights seemed to light up his slumbering fur, and give him his own light, an ethereal one seemingly not of this world. Suddenly Saul gave a little grunt and tensed in his bed, arching his back and gritting his teeth.

Felix shot to his feet as a loud siren sounded just outside the door, staring in horror as Saul grunted and shuddered, his eyes wide and rolling back in his skull. Beasts rushed into the room to his bedside, one of them grabbing the stunned Coyote and pushing him backwards out of the room.

"You can't be here!" He said

"But...Saul!" Felix protested, but they would not hear it. He stood outside the door, watching in horror through the glass as the doctors worked frantically on Saul, their yells oddly muted in Felix's ears as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.

Everything seemed to slow down, and Felix could see every jerk and shudder Saul gave clearly, see the doctors trying to hold him down as they applied a respirator to him, desperately scrambling for needles to try and keep him alive. He could see the doctor's mouths opening and closing, barking orders that he could not hear, their eyes narrowed and focused as they tried to revive Saul.

Even the loud siren above the door seemed to be muted as Felix watched the doctor's work, one of them jamming a needle into Saul's arm to try and calm him. It was to no avail though, and the doctors seemed to be getting desperate, their eyes wide and nostrils flaring now as they fought a losing battle.

It couldn't have been long, but it seemed an age to Felix for the scene to unfold before him, culminating in Saul's body going as limp as a rag doll, his flailing finally ceasing. The doctors inside tried to catch their breaths, defeated looks haunting their eyes. As one of the attendants checked Saul's pulse, one of the doctors stepped backwards and ran his paws through his headfur, holding his head in his paws. He looked out through the glass at Felix and shook his head sadly, lips tight and drawn.

They couldn't do anything to save him.

Saul was dead.

Again Felix found himself on the bridge, standing on the railing and looking out over the water that rushed beneath him. The thick mist clung to his fur and clothes, and his eyes still hurt from weeping so long. The rail was slick with it already, but Felix's footing was firm and steady, the Coyote resolute in his purpose.

It had been a week since Saul had passed now; but the hurt was still just as strong as ever. He could barely sleep, every time his eyes closed the memory of Saul's warmth beside his body haunting him. Saul's funeral had seemed pitiful, a sorry footnote on which to end his life. The rain had been thick and the sky gloomy, and Felix had been his only mourner. That nurse at the hospital had been right; the Wolf had had no next of kin, no emergency contact. He had been all alone in the world, and the only person left to remember him was Felix.

Life seemed pointless without Saul. Food turned to ash in his mouth whenever his hunger drove him to eat, and his sleep was blank and dreamless whenever he was actually able to get some rest. He couldn't sit still or lie; he would get up and pace aimlessly, suddenly lost and without purpose in a world that didn't seem to care. It didn't care when the most beautiful and caring beast Felix had ever known had died, no-one had even mourned his passing! So why would anyone care about one depressed beast amongst the faceless millions? Huh, wasn't that one of the perfect ironies of life? A self-help worker unable even to help himself, he thought bitterly.

It got to the point where he couldn't even cry anymore, his eyes dry after a period of mourning that had lasted days. His stomach felt like a knot of pain constantly, his brain unable to hold even the most basic of thoughts. He had taken time off work, but he doubted he'd ever go back. It seemed pointless. Why try and save a world where things like this happened, where beasts like Saul, and Duke, were punished for no reason? What were their sins? Felix asked, but there was never an answer. There never ever was.

There were no answers, he knew that. He was alone now, and that was how it would stay. Unable to sleep one night Felix had gone out walking the streets, without purpose or care for his own safety. And, inevitably, he was drawn back to the place he had first met Saul, the bridge. He didn't know why. Perhaps he thought, or hoped, that he would find the Wolf there again. But he wasn't, and now here he was, standing on a slippery iron rail, overlooking the grey waters of the rushing river, just like he had been when he had first met Saul.

Except this time he knew what he was going to do.

He would step off into oblivion. There was no point in living now, not without Saul. Life was endless torment for everyone, he knew that better than most, and he had had it. He was getting off here. Last stop, end of the line, please punch your tickets and exit the carriage. Thank you for riding with us, you won't see us again. Its over.

He would go and join the one he loved, live with him forever wherever he ended up, happy only with him. And if there was nowhere to go, then he'd never even know about it, it'd all just go black and finish. No more pain, no more sorrow. There was no downside, was there?

But there was, wasn't there.

Would Saul really want him to do this? What would the Wolf say, after he had worked so hard in life to convince Felix it was worth living, if he stepped off a bridge now? If he took the easy way out? He would not be impressed. He would be disappointed. He couldn't end it like this; it wouldn't be Saul's way.

Why was he so depressed anyway? He had been able to do what millions don't get to with their loved ones; spend their last moments together, right beside each other. Millions lost their loved ones without them even seeing them go. Felix was lucky. He wished Saul had more time, and more time he got. Time enough for Felix to say goodbye, and tell him just how much he loved him. It was more than what most people got. He had been lucky.

As he thought this he no longer felt alone, he felt like there was someone standing just beside him on the rail, close enough to lend him their body warmth. He risked a look, but there was no-one there. Of course there was no-one there. Why would there be? But still, he could feel it, even if he couldn't see it. He smiled sadly and closed his eyes, the tired aches of mourning flowing from him as he felt the warmth that wasn't really there. Alright, he thought. I won't jump. I'll wait for what fate has in store for me, just like you did. Our love is so strong, of course it will last. Nothing in the world, no matter how long he lived, could ever make him not love Saul. He knew that instinctively, his heart burning with passion as he thought of his Wolf, and how they would meet again one day. He would just have to wait.

What had Saul really been?

Had he been an angel? Felix asked himself as he looked out over the water. No. Of course not. There was no such thing as angels. There were only people. Good people. That's what Saul had been. A good person. But that was better than any angel.

When you asked a person like Saul you got an answer. A person like Saul could watch over you for real, protect you for real. A person like Saul could hold you, and comfort you, and lie to you and say everything would be alright, not because you believed the lie, even for a second, but because it made you feel better despite it being a lie. A person like that was better than an army of angels, because they were there, because they existed. A person like Saul was the kind of person Felix wished he could be. He was the kind of person he would try to be from now on.

Tears brimmed at the edges of his eyes and ran silently down his cheeks, staining his fur, a sad smile on his face as he stared out over the water. He closed his eyes and whispered something to the wind, as if willing it to be carried to someone who was no longer there.

"I'll wait for you." The words were carried away in an instant, whirling away on the breeze, but they seemed to ring still in the Coyote's ears, as if he had heard someone echo his words back to him.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon and washing the streets with pale gold as he looked up from the river, his heart light and free. The promise of a new day seemed to rekindle something in his heart he hadn't felt for a long while, and he smiled. And, feeling vaguely that someone was walking beside him, he walked off into the dawn, the wet streets shimmering like some wonderful dream under his feet.