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***

It happened fast, so fast that I cannot clearly remember what happened. Instead, I recall a series of snapshots, like bolts of lightning in my memory. The opening of the gate, its metallic whine cutting through a thick haze of sleep and digestion. The smell of men in the yard and the sound of their chattering. I understood many of their words though their speech was low in pitch and heavily enunciated. They were looking for something, specifically somethings, some dogs. Next I was on my feet and looking at the men who were sorting through us, a heavy sense of unease on me. Then they had four dogs in loops about the neck. I did not recognize any of them, I only comprehended that they were taking more dogs this morning. Then they were being led away. All this time, I stood and watched impassively. Only after the gate had clanked shut and all hope of action had passed did it enter my mind that I had lost my brother and Pink Nose had as well.

The chocolate lab's were the first eyes I found after the event. They were hollow and uncomprehending, just as mine had to have been. The shock would come later, but even then it was not as sharp as might be imagined. In fact, Pink Nose and myself were the only ones in the pack to be affected at all by the removals. At this point in time, Spinner's continued existence in the pack was more an oddity in itself as all the rest of the non-gaining dogs disappeared steadily and heavier dogs were taken in his place. It was no surprise at all that Spinner should be taken at any of these sporadic rituals. Dizzy himself was hardly less odd. He had always been a poor gainer, only recently had he started putting on any real poundage, but too little and too late to fill out his figure by the average of the pack. It was right and proper that these two should be chosen. Or at least that's what most dogs thought. And that's what I tried to tell myself.

Except that wasn't at all what I felt. The yard seemed strangely empty without Spinner or Dizzy around. The newest cull left most of the pack in a very obese state, the new median mark was what I would have described as the top 10% earlier this year. The tribe as a whole was lethargic and sedentary. Spinner and Dizzy had been among the last ones interested in chasing and rough and tumble games. But that wasn't the half of what I felt. What was this... longing? Not for company, which I still had in spades, but for a specific member of the tribe. Dizzy was irreplaceable, I realized quickly. How could I have let him go without a fight? Without even a sign that I was at all displeased with the notion that I'd never see him again? What was he thinking as he was led away, watching my impassivity?

Shame filled me, and sadness as well. Not since I had parted with my mother the first nights I spent in the yard had I felt anything like this... No that wasn't right. I had felt this pain before, when the Black Lab had been taken. All at once the strength in my legs leaked out of me like a cracked hydraulic cylinder and I went down on the grass. A gaping void yawned under me, repressed emotion that I'd never had the courage to face. What had I done? What, by inaction, had I allowed to come to pass? This time a mentor had not been taken from me, but perhaps something even more important. My brother, my only brother was gone!

I did not know from whence the howl came from. I only belatedly realized that the mournful sound was coming from myself after it had started. But it helped with the sudden pain, so I continued. Not long after I began howling, another voice joined mine. It was Pink Nose on the far side of the canopy. His voice was higher than mine, but no less sad. It was some small measure of comfort to know that another shared my pain and knew of only one way to release it. It was the first time that I mourned. Somehow, I knew even then that it would not be the last.

Breakfast was comforting, but only as long as the food was sliding down my ever-hungry maw. The belly ache that followed was accompanied by a lousy torpor and I did not want to be touched, even by the friendly hands of humans, no especially by the hands of humans. Some spark of anger lit in me then, as I watched them gather their things and walk out of the yard. I was jealous of their freedom to come and go, jealous of their wisdom and their works. But more, for the first time, I blamed them for something. For it did not feel right and proper that I should be parted from my brother. I stewed in my newfound anger for most of the day. The other dogs could smell it on me and kept their distance.

But later I did have a visitor. Pink Nose came to me late in the day. A stiff breeze was blowing and I was lying on the windward side of the concrete house which was warmer, though it was in shadow. The worst of the anger had smote itself already, but it continued to smolder under the surface of my thoughts like breaking clouds.

"Topsy." Greeted Pink Nose. I grunted in response and he laid his round, bulging form on the ground near me. "You haven't said a word today, Topsy." He added after I refused to speak.

"Maybe I have nothing to say." I grunted impishly.

"After all that noise this morning, I beg to differ." Said Pink Nose.

I realized then that Pink Nose was the only dog who could possibly understand this pain. So I began again. "I'm sorry. I just..." But I couldn't find the words, perhaps they needed to be invented for our language. "...Dizzy." I finished lamely.

Pink Nose surprised me by switching over to English, "You are longing for your brother."

I met his eyes. That was exactly right of course, but though the words were right, the idea was foreign. "I miss him." I said, switching to English as well, "It is wrong that he should be taken and is no longer with us."

"He isn't dead." Said Pink Nose weakly. He wasn't trying to defend the humans so much as think through the situation in order to understand it. "Spinner isn't dead. They are only somewhere else now."

I tossed my head, some anger spilling forth. Pink Nose's eyes darted with some fear, I was twice as heavy as he was at least. "Away is as good as dead if we never see them." I clenched my paws in the turf and pointed my nose down, "The humans..." I didn't finish my thought as I was quivering with impotent rage.

Pink Nose could only sag, but with his ample flesh, he was capable of sagging quite a lot. "There is nothing that can be done." He sounded like he was talking as much to himself as me.

I gasped and let my forequarters fall. Closing my eyes, I admitted, "We are helpless."

Pink Nose had nothing to offer but mute agreement. After several moments, he said, "We are destined to serve the masters, their will is our world."

I'd never heard our philosophy put to words like that. It had never needed to be stated, it was understood by all dogs intrinsically, and yet there it was in a nutshell. "We serve humans." I echoed. "Whatever they decide is how things should be and we should be happy in serving their needs of us."

Pink Nose grinned pathetically, but the words fell like stones between us, offering none of the comfort I'd sought in conjuring them. "But..." The syllable escaped my mouth like a swear. Pink Nose's ears twitched violently and he turned his gaze down to meet my face.

"But?" he asked tentatively, afraid of asking, mortally afraid of hearing an answer. But the common pain we both shared drove him to it. I however, was the only one bold enough to ask the real question.

A million questions came to mind of a nature varying in rebelliousness and perversity to the known order. I tried to find the least offensive to myself and to Pink Nose. "What if the humans can be served differently?"

"Differently." Pink Nose echoed. I waited for a long while for more, studying his expression as it changed moment to moment, first shocked, and then thoughtful. "Differently in a way that we can keep Spinner and Dizzy." He finally said with no little amount of sarcasm.

I flopped my ears playfully, "Why not?"

Pink Nose chuckled at my impudence. But he said seriously. "But that would imply that the humans did not know what was best for us. That we know better than them."

That was a thought that had run through my head, but even I had lacked the confidence to say it like that. But Pink Nose was correct in his implication. "Well..." I shrugged, feeling a little more comfortable in the realm of hypotheticals with Pink Nose. "Maybe, in some ways."

"Really." Prodded Pink Nose, but his tail was wagging slightly now.

"Yes. I said more strongly. "We know better about what makes us happy and about making a happy pack. They can't know more about that than we do."

It was a strong argument and Pink Nose even added to it. "They don't know we can talk, or at least most of us. They probably think we are all dumb like the mute ones."

I nodded my head, thinking about this fact. But then, could we really know if they were ignorant of that? We had made no special effort to hide our communications. However, I could conceive of no way they humans had of discovering our abilities save for conversing with us; I had little conception of the power of observational science then. "They are ignorant of the fact that we can think clearly, so they way in which they treat us can't be completely correct."

"Ignorant he says!" laughed Pink Nose. The blasphemy was ludicrous at this point, but we were both clearly enjoying the novelty.

"Do you see a flaw in my argument?" I intoned rising now to sit stooped over the weight of my midsection.

Pink Nose laughed, but quickly silenced himself. "None that I can detect. However, short of speaking with the humans, there is no way to change the way they treat us and therefore no way to get Spinner or Dizzy back."

I cocked my head and thought about my words for a while before speaking. "Well, maybe we should talk to them."

Pink Nose's eyes widened in alarm. "Topsy, are you serious?"

"I've been serious from the start." I said, "And there's a chance that they would bring Dizzy and Spinner back. If they knew that we wanted them back. Maybe this has all been a big misunderstanding."

Pink Nose's breath got heavy all of a sudden, but he shook his head slowly. "That... is very doubtful. How could they think we would be better off without Spinner, Dizzy or the rest of the thinner dogs?"

I shrugged. Grasping at straws, I said, "Maybe they think the thinner dogs are a bother to us bigger dogs? Maybe they want to prevent us from getting over crowded."

"And maybe a million things." Countered Pink Nose. He covered his snout with a paw for a second and then said, "But the point is from the start we've hidden our nature from the humans. If we reveal ourselves now then all that time before would have been pointless."

"Ah, but not so, Pink Nose." I said, "Only now do we have the means to converse with the humans in their own tongue. The one we are speaking in right now."

Pink Nose blustered for several seconds. I could tell he was tempted but afraid, dreadfully afraid of the possible outcomes. "We don't know what will happen if they find out Topsy. Terrible things could happen."

The pain was dull now, faded from talking about it, but it was still there, deep in my chest. "Could it be worst than never seeing Spinner or Dizzy again?"

Pink Nose opened his mouth, but then bit down on his words. He swallowed and then seemed to be fighting tears. For the first time I realized that his pain might really be as deep, or deeper than my own. But he turned his head back around and looked up at me. "It might very well be." He said, eyes wide enough to show the whites all around. "And if we did, it'd be a decision for all the pack, every one of us. Not just you and me."

That was what drew down my lofty thoughts back to reality. The crazy scheme of talking to the humans, the only plan that was possible with our powerless state, would be an all or nothing affair. Worse than nothing, in fact, because one thing was sure, if it was attempted, then nothing would be the same afterwards. It took a while for my head to cool, but when I spoke it was from my heart. "I can't possibly be that selfish."

Pink Nose glanced to the side. "Neither can I."

I drew in a deep breath of cool air though my nose. "Well then. I suppose that settles it. We'll have a talkie about revealing ourselves to the humans. If we decide to stay secret then we'll never mention this again."

Pink Nose silently approved. I knew he was grateful for taking the decision from his paws. Most any dog really is grateful to have something simply laid out before them. Even if it hurts.

That evening we had our talkie. All the dogs who were interested were involved which at this time meant about three quarters of the whole pack. From nearly the moment that I brought up the idea, Fat Gut predominated. He set his formidable will and voice against the idea. With his crafty tongue, his spun a web of all the misfortunes which might come as a result of revealing ourselves as other than what our masters intended, up to and including death for us all.

"They might have no choice but to cull us all if we've gone wrong from their point of view. They could restart our pack from scratch, from fresh pups that don't talk." Fat Gut roared propping up his fat flooded body on three legs. There would be no convincing most of them that the risk was worth theoretical annihilation after that, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to. I had introduced the idea with the intention of being a neutral voice, but quickly I found myself the only proponent of the idea against the onslaught of Fat Gut. I shouldn't have been surprised really.

Even Pink Nose fell silent pretty quickly against the growing outrage from the other dogs. After that, I had hardly the strength to continue, dogged with doubt as my own thoughts were. The discussion faded after a final tumult between myself and Fat Gut. Only during the debate did I realize that I was left supporting a highly dangerous and unpopular idea in front of the other members of the pack. When I let the last stinking wisps of the idea of revelation go, I wondered how much damage to my own authority I'd just inflicted. But then, I realized I didn't really care. What I did care about was that the only hope of getting Dizzy back had just gotten thrown back into my face like so much effluent.