Venom Rising- Ch.II A Warrior's Past
Night had fallen when Lavenderpaw and Hawkleap had returned with their catch to the cavern, sufficiently restocking the fresh kill pile. They both joined the cats gathered around Icestorm's body to sit vigil for the night. Taking his place next to Hawkfrost and Koistep's sister, Stormdapple, he noticed most of the clan was present; every cat would grieve the loss of the deputy. Only the cats assigned to the dawn patrol tomorrow: Briarclaw, had gone to their nests. Graystar, however, was nowhere to be seen. He would have to show up eventually though, to name the next deputy.
It was nearly dawn when Graystar emerged from his den and made his way to stand in the center of the cavern over Icestorm's body. Blinking his eyes in an attempt to stay awake a bit longer, Lavenderpaw perked his ears to hear what his leader had to say.
"We have lost both a great friend and valiant comrade to darkness. Icestorm died a warrior's death, protecting a clan apprentice who would not be here now otherwise."
Lavenderpaw wondered if Cricketpaw could hear Graystar in the medicine den, if she isn't asleep, that is.
"... I say these words before Icestorm's body, that he may hear and approve my choice. Redclaw will be the new deputy." ...Redclaw?
Lavenderpaw joined in chanting Redclaw's name halfheartedly. He didn't really like the powerful, dark ginger tom, but that didn't stop him from revering him as a warrior. As Redclaw stood, dignified with his head and tail held high, Lavenderpaw recalled that he had been made warrior a moon early because of his prowess in training. The black apprentice sniffed with jealousy; sometimes it seemed like Hawkleap wanted to delay his own warrior ceremony more than anything else. What do I have to do to prove that I'm ready?
Consumed by his thoughts, he almost didn't notice Stormdapple sigh with relief next to him. "Better him than me." She meowed, half to herself.
"Why's that?" Lavenderpaw queried. He had always thought of the driven, dark grey she cat as ambitious. She always wanted to lead patrols, and often argued with the leader of her patrols, and though her suggestions were often better, he wished she wouldn't be so aggressive..
"Do you really think a cat would want all of that responsibility? In all honesty, if I had all that power, I wouldn't know what to do with it." She clarified, an edge to her tone as usual.
Lavenderpaw looked down at his paws. He couldn't imagine himself organizing patrols and advising the leader. He decided he would be content as a warrior, following orders, hunting and fighting, just like everyone else. His clanmates were now surrounding Redclaw and congratulating him. Feeling uneasy, he decided to visit Cricketpaw again. Having no physical wounds, she can't be stuck in the medicine den for long. Sticking his head in through the tunnel entrance, he saw that she was asleep in her nest. Turning to leave his sister to sleep he heard her voice, drowsy from poppy seed. "Lavenderpaw? Is that you?"
He padded back into the medicine den and replied, "Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you." Sitting down next to her, he curled his tail over his paws and began, "Are you alright? I mean, with what happened..."
Cricketpaw didn't answer, just looked down at her paws. They sat in tense silence before Cricketpaw spoke up, "Lavenderpaw, do you think father would have... done the same for me?"
Lavenderpaw looked at his sister in surprise. What would make her ask such a question? "Falconheart would have done a lot for us, if only mother hadn't died."
Cricketpaw looked up at him with round, innocent eyes. "What happened to them, anyway?" Lavenderpaw realized no one had ever told her why her only living relative was her brother. I want to be the one to tell her, then. I think she's old enough to understand now.
Lavenderpaw delved into the story, maybe it would even keep her mind off of Icestorm for a bit. "I was the only kit in their first litter. Willowfur, our mother, took very good care of me, and not long after my apprentice ceremony, you were born." He began. Cricketpaw was listening with cautious curiosity as his tone darkened. "But then, mother became very sick with fever, and your littermates died of the same disease. Even though you were just a moon old at the time, Fernpelt insisted on isolating her from the rest of the clan, saying that it was highly contagious. Mother begged and pleaded to see her kits and her mate, but Fernpelt had to refuse in order to save our lives. You almost starved without milk, since Fernpelt's borage treatment didn't work on any she cat. You could only eat small amounts of fresh kill that I had to chew up for you first."
"Did that mean anything? That no one's milk came? Was it a sign from Starclan?" Cricketpaw wondered.
Lavenderpaw purred in amusement. "Come on, you're not a kit anymore, are you? Starclan is just a nursery tale." Cricketpaw looked taken aback, but asked another question, "What about Falconheart? What did he do?"
"Falconheart? He walked straight into the nursery every moment Fernpelt's back was turned. It got so bad that he began to develop some minor symptoms as well. It's funny, really, I think he was trying to infect himself so that he would be quarantined in the nursery with mother. But then Graystar had to post a guard to make sure no cat got near her. Neither I nor father were ever chosen to guard. No cat saw much of Falconheart after that, since he had taken to going off on his own, sometimes for days at a time. I guess he couldn't stand knowing his mate was suffering so much yet be powerless to do anything. It must have been so lonely for Willowfur, the other queens had to stay in the medicine den, which was no easy task for Fernpelt, especially when the other kits were born.
"But anyway, it must have been torture for mother, stuck in the nursery cave for moons, sick with fever, unable to even see those she loved most..." Lavenderpaw hesitated, wondering if he should go on to the darker part of the story, but then Cricketpaw prompted him, "What happened next?"
"Mother... Died. She stopped eating the herbs Fernpelt left for her. At her vigil, I noticed Falconheart wasn't there. Something serious had to be wrong for him to not go to his mate's vigil. I was naïve and dumb, just a new apprentice back then, so I followed his scent out of camp to the ridge of the plateau, and I found him at the edge. He told me to take care of you while he's gone. Then he... let himself fall off." Cricketpaw was staring at him wide eyed. She queried, "Lavenderpaw, are you sure Starclan isn't real?"
He tilted his head to one side questioningly, "Yeah, why?"
"Well, I think I saw him. When Icestorm jumped in front of me today, to save me from the snake, I thought he was Falconheart. Didn't he have green eyes? And brown tabby fur?"
"That's definitely what he looked like, but how did you know that was him? You were only three moons old when he died, and he wasn't around much. When he was around he avoided us." Cricketpaw just said, "I don't know, it just felt like it was him."
"Hm. Maybe you had some vague memory of him from when you were a kit. And I'll bet that the reflection of light off of the river water onto Icestorm's pelt might have had something to do with it."
Lavenderpaw shrugged and licked her ear before she could go on. "You should get some sleep. I know I'm going to."
She murmured something and curled up in her nest, then quickly fell asleep.
"Cricketpaw?" He whispered as he nudged her, just to make sure she was sleeping, but his sister didn't budge. She's always been a heavy sleeper. Lavenderpaw thought, retracing his steps back out to the main cavern where cats were still gathered. He smelled a strong scent of Fernpelt outside the entrance to the medicine den. Was she listening? But she wasn't anywhere to be seen, so he assumed she must have gone out for something. At any rate, he was so tired his paws might fall off, so he headed toward the tunnel to the apprentices' den and settled down in his nest for the night. Huh, Starclan. He could barely even remember the nursery tale he had been told all those moons ago. Was it cats in the stars, or cats with stars in their fur? I don't even remember. Then, the blanket of sleep covered his thoughts.
He was in the cavern outside the nursery. He was standing, but felt short and small like when he was just a moon into his apprenticeship. I must be dreaming.
"Let me in! I want to see mother!" Lavenderpaw demanded, but Icestorm, currently on guard, stepped in front of him, shaking his head solemnly. "You know I can't allow that." They could both hear her labored breathing and a rustle as she sat up in her nest.
"Lavenderpaw? Is that you? Oh, I've missed you so-" Her voice broke off as she started into a coughing fit.
His eyes narrowed with worry, Lavenderpaw reared up on his hind legs to see above Icestorm and caught just a glimpse of a pair of desperate blue eyes glowing in the darkness before he lost his balance.
He stood with his head bowed as Willowfur's lifeless brown and white body was carried away for burial. Cricketkit whimpered beside him, sniffling as she fought back her tears. "Mommy's dead, isn't she?"
"Shhhhh." Lavenderpaw soothed, pressing his nose against her ear as she wailed, "I want my mommy back!"
Blinking away his own tears, the young apprentice murmured to her, "I'm going to get daddy. I need you to be strong, okay?"
Still whimpering, she nodded importantly and collapsed, sobbing. Where is Falconheart? Lavenderpaw scanned the assembled cats, but he wasn't here. He padded out of the cavern and into the forest, lit dimly by the full moon, and searched out his father's scent. He followed it as it wove closer to the ridge. He padded onward, the scent becoming more fresh until he emerged from the tree line to find Falconheart standing at the edge, looking down the cliff face. Stepping out into the open, Lavenderpaw heard him murmur, "If I die, we'll be together. In the clan of stars, all the way up in the sky."
What is he talking about? Is he out of his mind?
"Falconheart!" He called above the roaring wind that ruffled their fur. "I know what you're going to do! Cricketkit and I still need you!
"Lavenderpaw..." He began, turning his head to look at his son one last time. "This is something that I have to do. Maybe someday, you'll understand."
"No, father! It isn't right! Step back!"
Falconheart continued as if he hadn't heard, "...But until then, I want you to take care of Cricketkit for me, Lavenderpaw. Bring her up strong."
"Father no!" But he vanished as if he was swept away by the wind, and Lavenderpaw's yowl turned into Willowfur's voice as she howled in the middle of the night, driven mad by loneliness.
Lavenderpaw couldn't tell if he was still dreaming. He shoved his head down into the moss of his nest and covered his ears with his paws, shaking, as Willowfur called out to him. He gritted his teeth, unable to bear it. Then, Windpaw's soft mew brought him back to reality. "Lavenderpaw? Are you okay? You were whimpering in your sleep."
He sat up in his nest and felt something wet streaking his muzzle. Tears?
Windpaw's mew grew worried, "Are you... Crying?"
No. Because that never happened. Falconheart didn't kill himself. I convinced him not to, but only under some conditions. One, that I must never cry.
"To cry means the body has been defeated by emotion." He quietly said to himself. And that must never happen, to ensure that what happened to Falconheart never happens to me.
"Huh?" Windpaw asked, bewildered.
Falconheart had left the clan and gone into the mountains, making Lavenderpaw swear a number of things if he was not to kill himself: That he must never shed a tear, and protect Cricketpaw with his life. He would never have forgiven himself if she had been bitten by the snake, and it was only luck that Icestorm had saved her. I owe him my life as well. Also, that he must tell the clan that he did die. Even Cricketpaw. But maybe when she's older, she can understand fully.
Windpaw pressed on her question, "Lavenderpaw, if something's wrong, you can always tell me."
I can never tell you.
"It was just a nightmare, but it's all over now." He got to his paws and padded out of the apprentices' den, past the golden mound of fur that was Shinepaw, all the while feeling Windpaw's gaze fixated on him. Hawkleap probably wanted him to go hunting today, and he could hear birds outside, high up in the trees, chirping the songs of that morning.