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Hey! Welcome to Free Association, Episode 25, Episode 1 is to the left, so on and so forth. Sorry it's a bit late again, been doing developery things all day.

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_ Thursday. _

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The wolf snuffled and sat back, paws coming up to rest soft pads against his cheeks. With a worn groan, he shuffled them up over his closed eyes, working his way to the forehead that had spent too much time furrowed over the past two hours. He yawned, a tense exhalation, a rumble, a growl.

"I've had about enough of this. What say we get some coffee? I'm gonna have to go to class soon anyway..."

Jonathon, sitting across from him, pulled out his cell phone and poked at it. Oh, yeah, it was getting close to the wolf's math class, wasn't it?

"Okay," he replied, sticking his phone back in his pocket. In the bright fluorescent lighting of the library's top level, Brad's fur was a shade of charcoal gray, deep and nearly black on the tips, somewhat lighter in the undercoat, with a faintly bluish tinge. The wolf's big ears flicked, a little set-back from so long studying math, and he flicked his tail as he started gathering up his stuff.

Jonathon sat there and watched. His stomach felt all fluttery.

Maybe he wasn't sure quite why, but Brad's words... his glances... his smiles... his sheer presence... had been hitting the raccoon particularly hard tonight. In a somewhat more literal sense than the metaphor normally connoted - his raccoony soldier had been at full salute several times during their studying.

Something about sharing a table with a tough-looking wolf guy... had Brad always been this tough-looking? Yes, he'd noticed the wolf was a bit imposing before, but to this degree? Was he too shy to glance at the guy for more than a second or two each time? Brad looked like someone's bully, like he should have been chain-smoking and standing next to a motorcycle. The leather jacket didn't help.

And yet, Jonathon knew those impressions had no basis in truth. He knew... because he could remember the wolf's paws trembling on his shoulders, as they kissed in his car, the night of their first date. He could remember the way Brad had held him, last Friday, in that dark dorm room that echoed the sounds of a sniffling raccoon back on them both.

He could remember two days ago, when Brad had kissed him in front of Riley... because the coon had been too scared to do it himself. Surely, that wasn't the sort of thing a bully would do. Not even a gay one.

Despite his appearance, Brad was actually really nice once you got to know him. He realized that again and again, every moment he spent with the canine.

Fluttery feelings spreading from his stomach up into his chest.

Really nice.

The wolf realized he was being stared at. He paused, notebook halfway into his backpack... and flashed Jonathon a warm smile that made the raccoon feel quite shy.

"You gonna... pack up?" he murmured, softly.

Jonathon gazed into his eyes... and then eeped. "Right, sorry!" He grabbed his bag and began shoving books and papers into it. Scratch work for Brad, one of his sources on elevators, the homework for Biochem that he'd been working on while Brad puzzled his way through things he understood.

Brad chuckled a little. "Relax. My class doesn't start for another thirty minutes."

Jonathon swallowed. His heart was beating a million miles a minute. He tried to calm down. Calculator, pencil, zip, there. Not frantic at all. He looked up at the wolf expectantly.

Brad gave him a smile, all dark fur and blue eyes and swishing tail. He was standing. "C'mon," he said quietly.

There were a number of coffee shops on campus; the nearest was just across from the library. Another frigid night. Jonathon shivered in his thin jacket, watching his breath puff in the air. He should have worn something a bit more suited to the weather. It hadn't been this cold a few hours ago...

"I'll have a mocha breve," the wolf was rumbling, paws in the jacket he'd just unzipped. "Large, no whip, please. And some cinnamon on top. And he'll have some sort of horrible soy creation... what do you like again?"

Jonathon blinked, staring dumbly at the wolf, who was now looking back at him. "Oh. Uh. I guess I'll have..." he frowned. "Hmmm. I'll have a soy caramel macchiato, decaf, whipped cream please and thank you."

Brad chuckled, passing his card to the barista. "That's not what you usually get."

"I was in the mood for it." Jonathon shrugged. "Chai is hardly the only thing I like."

They sat on the far side, by the window. It was remarkably quiet in the coffee shop; later in the night, the all-nighters would come for their studying fixes, but thus far it was just the wolf, the coon, a mildly attractive mallard guy reading Candide, and a cow girl chatting on her cellphone (thankfully on the other end from where they sat).

"Always nasty icky soy stuffs, though..." Brad grumbled, flashing a grin to show he was just teasing. "Dunno how you can drink that crap."

Jonathon raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I'm lactose intolerant," he said, somewhat darkly.

The wolf's grin fell a bit. "Oh... well, I didn't mean... are you?"

The raccoon shrugged. "Not really. I can still eat cheese and stuff, but if I have like a ton it causes problems. Having soy lattes just lets me eat more cheese." He gave a little grin.

"Oh." Brad sipped his mocha; his ears were back a little. "Sorry for... making fun of you, then."

Jonathon's smile softened. "It's okay, silly, I wasn't mad. It did take a bit to get used to the... aftertaste. But it's not bad, really, you get so you kind of like it." He gained a bit of a blush. "Um... thanks for buying. I'll buy you a mocha later."

"Well, thank you for helping me with the numbers," Brad said, a little sheepish.

"It's no trouble," Jonathon replied. "I want you to pass too. My smarty-wuff has been in school for too long."

Brad's cheeks slowly went the color of a Coca-Cola can. His nose pointed toward his coffee and he slumped his shoulders a little; his ears went waaaay back and down. Jonathon could see his tail swishing behind him shyly.

"Aww, what's that?" the raccoon murmured, finding the image adorable. He leaned forward, folding his paws and resting his elbows on the table. "You like bein' a smarty-wuff?"

Brad rumbled a little. "N-no, it was the..." he looked up hesitantly, gave a little grin. "...the, the 'my'..."

"Oh." Jonathon smiled warmly at that. The warm glow persisted for a moment, before he shifted one leg slowly forward, so his knee and upper calf rested against Brad's under the table. The wolf returned the gesture with a bit of sideways pressure; his shoe slid forward to rub against Jonathon's. "Well... you are, you know?"

Brad gave him a quick glance... hesitated... "...Go on..."

"Hm?"

"...Can ya, can ya... say it again?"

The raccoon twiddled his thumbs in feigned nonchalance. "Say what now?"

Brad's next look was plaintive, anxious. "T-tell me... what I am to you."

Jonathon hmmed softly. "Oh... well... Since you asked..." He smiled... and then gulped. "Well... Brad... you're... probably one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. You're affectionate and tolerant, and you... don't push me around, or make me feel like I have to... live up to this... this thing between us. You're so much fun to spend time with that it hurts bad when I have to turn you down, and I wish I could see you a lot more than I do, every day, more like... whether that's practical or not, it's how I feel. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for, you're comfortable in ways I'm just... not, and you try really hard, even if you pretend like you're lazy and blame yourself for things that aren't your fault. You make me comfortable, you make me feel like I fit in, you make me respect you. And you... make me happy. And that's why... I think of you, as..."

Gazing into the wolf's eyes, the raccoon slowly lowered his paw to rest atop his boyfriend's.

"...mine."

Whatever Brad had expected... it hadn't been quite that.

The wolf stared at him, blue eyes wide and emotive, short whiskers quivering as he processed the sudden spilling of the raccoon's heart. Jonathon accorded him a faint smile, gaze someplace far away, despite his focus on the guy across from him.

Trembling faintly, with a little smile, Brad shifted his paw to wrap it around Jonathon's.

They hung like that for a moment.

Then... Shit! A sideways headjerk. Jonathon craned his head around and surveyed the rest of the coffee shop in a wild glance. He sat back abruptly, pulling his paw away; he cleared his throat, brushed his shirt off, settled his pose.

And like that, the romance was dead.

Brad settled back, more slowly, a little forlorn. His paw curled around itself, and then slowly drew back off the table. He grimaced, and glanced down.

Jonathon was blushing. "Sorry..." he mumbled. His heart was pounding in his chest... in a different sort of way, this time.

"It's okay," Brad returned, sounding disappointed. He gave a little sigh. "I... should know better than to let that... sort of thing happen."

The raccoon's tail whacked the chair behind him. "It's not your fault. It's mine. I'm the one who... does that."

The coon was expecting the wolf to come out with a 'No you don't,' or another 'It's okay,"... but that wasn't what he got, to his surprise. "...Why?"

Jonathon looked up. "I don't knowwww..." he moaned, quietly, casting another fearful glance over his shoulder. "I just... I just don't know, I can't... I don't..." He gulped. "I'm... I'm not like you... I can't just..."

Brad nodded a little grimly. "Yeah... I... suppose I do understand that. I guess... I shouldn't draw you in like that, unless we're alone."

They sat there in silence, drinking their drinks and thinking their thoughts.

After a few minutes, Brad shook his head. "Come on, let's not let something silly like that spoil the whole evening. I was having plenty of fun just hanging out with you. Even if we were doing math."

Jonathon looked up, and offered a tentative smile. "I had fun too. I'm still enjoying... just... being with you." Even when he felt like a dumbass, like he'd let Brad down... being with him was nice.

The door to the coffee shop opened, and a pony dude strode in; Jonathon caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of his eye. "How were your classes today? What do you even have today?" Brad was saying.

"Uuuugh," the raccoon groaned immediately. "Laaaaabs. Lots of labs. Okay, two, physics and biochem... And my biochem lecture. It's all nice and early, though, I'm done by 3."

"I've heard biochem is hard..." the wolf murmured sympathetically.

"You heard wrong. It's impossible." The raccoon pawed at his face. "I think I have a B in there. Barely. But it's probably going to get curved because the idiot can't teach worth a damn, so everyone's failing."

The wolf chuckled. "At least you'll get a better grade."

"Probably, not certainly. He might just fail them. This is biochem."

"Right."

"I hate labs, though," the raccoon grumbled. "They're all so stupid and contrived, and they expect results you don't get. Like, ever."

"Hmm." The wolf took a slurp from his almost empty cup. "I've never had a lab."

Behind Brad, Jonathon saw that the pony guy had gotten his beverage and come around to sit at the table behind them. Well, dammit. No more emotional confessions with that guy in range. He got kind of nervous just thinking about it.

"They suck," Jonathon grumbled, trying not to think about it. "I guess... you wouldn't have many labs in psychology classes, no."

"Or in design." Brad shrugged. "I guess if it's like studio, I understand. That was boring."

Jonathon considered him and smiled a little at that. "How come you don't paint anymore?"

"Oh. Uh..." Brad scratched at the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Dunno... I just... don't, really..."

"I mean, you must have liked it, if you were majoring in design."

"Well... well, I was doing graphic design, so photoshop and stuff..."

"Do you still do that, then?"

Brad glanced over toward the window, paw still rubbing at his neck. "...well, no..."

The raccoon looked at him for a moment, taking into account all the little signs. The way his tail moved, the angle of his ears, the tension of muscles in his face... even subtle hints in the rich, masculine scent the wolf exuded. "Why... don't you like talking about it?"

Brad glanced up at him, and immediately back down. "Well..."

Jonathon waited.

No further words were forthcoming. Brad was blushing again.

Eventually, the raccoon sighed. "Okay. I get it." He took a swig of his drink, which was mostly empty. "But... I'd like to see some of your paintings, or your digital stuff. If you ever want to show them to me."

Brad was quiet.

"Think about it."

The wolf gulped coffee and foam. "Sorry..." he mumbled.

Jonathon smiled a bit. "No big deal."

"I'm dumb, and you're smart, and..." The wolf took a breath. "I... I think you're... pretty great too, you know."

The raccoon was suddenly very conscious of the pony guy sitting behind them, drinking his tea and staring conspicuously off into space.

"I've... never met a guy who made me... think, the way you do..." Brad shivered. "...And... feel... the way you make me feel."

Jonathon whimpered very quietly. "Braaad..." he protested. He tried to gesture inconspicuously towards the far wall.

The wolf was distressed, distracted; he shifted his coffee, finished it off with a headtoss. "I... Jonathon... I think I l - "

"Brad!" the raccoon yelped. The wolf jumped.

The pony gave them both a glance. Jonathon couldn't decide if it was knowing, or not.

The raccoon's little heart was approaching three zillion beats per minute, and his fur was all standing on end. He jerked his head aside of the wolf, and Brad glanced back, none too discreetly.

"S-sorry!" the wolf expelled, once he understood; his expression took a turn for the miserable.

"Not you fault," Jonathon reassured in an undertone, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down. It helped. At least Brad hadn't said... what_ever_ he'd been about to say.

Brad did not look consoled. "It is my fault, I keep... keep fucking up, and making you... do that, and I'm trying not to, I'm trying!"

Now the pony guy was definitely eavesdropping.

"It's okay, just..." Jonathon struggled to steady himself. "Let's just... go outside."

Escape! Pilot eject! Mission coffee is a failure! Aboooort!

So, they got up, and padded out into the chilly air. Brad tossed out his drink cup on the way out. Jonathon still had a bit of his. It was the only thing keeping him warm.

They stood awkwardly beside the path leading up to the door.

"Sorry..." Brad rumbled again, sounding extremely remorseful. "I didn't... see him. I never would've... done that on purpose, I never never would have on purpose..."

"I know," Jonathon replied, not feeling entirely too self-justified. If he wasn't such a dumbass, it wouldn't be such a big deal. "I guess we just... have to hang out alone sometimes too. So we can... say things." He did manage to smile a bit at that. "And... I do wanna say things like that, to you."

It was dark and quiet, and they were alone now.

Jonathon gulped his drink. Shivered a little.

Brad was watching him, gaze growing slowly thoughtful, as his tail swished and his ears returned to normal height and orientation. "Hey... Jonathon."

"Hm?"

Brad scuffed one footpaw. "I... had an idea. A while ago..." He hesitated a long moment, before visibly nodding a little. "I... want to suggest something we could... maybe do tomorrow. If you're free."

The raccoon thought about that. "I don't think I'm busy. It's Friday night, after all. And I would like to spend the time with you." He smiled a little. "What... did you have in mind?"

Brad huffed. "Well... Okay. I was... I was thinking, that... I'd like to take you on another date."

The raccoon smiled immediately. "Sounds nice."

The wolf gave him a sheepish grin, encouraged. "And... I was thinking maybe we could do the... dinner-and-a-movie thing, you know. Someplace nice and classy."

Jonathon paused. "Well... I don't know, that's a bit... formal, and I thought we said..."

"That's what I thought, too," Brad replied quickly. "So, I was thinking... how about we just watch a movie at my place? And Marty can watch it with us, and maybe come to dinner with us too, so it's just sort of like a friendly thing. He..." The wolf paused. "...he'd like to get to know you some more, too."

"Hmm..." The raccoon smiled a bit. "Now that doesn't sound so bad."

The wolf gave him an appreciative grin of relief, accompanied by an exhalation... and then he inhaled. "And... one more thing."

"Yes, Brad?"

The wolf's tail was flicking with agitation, his ears were quivering tensely. "If... if we do that tomorrow... I..." Huff. "I want to offer... that you can maybe... spend the night at my place."

Beat.

Jonathon was too surprised to process the suggestion on any conscious level.

"Eh?"

"N-not like..." The wolf stammered clarifications hurriedly. "I mean, we don't have to do anything, nothing at all, I'll be totally okay with absolutely nothing happening! You... can even sleep on the futon if you like, it's comfy, I do it sometimes. Not... that I'd do it if you were over, but..." He took a steadying breath. "I just... I want you to... try it, and... be there with me... when I wake up... Even, even if..." He ducked his head quickly. "S-sorry... you don't have to decide on it right now, I'll... take you home after if you want, just... I want to offer... I... I want you to stay..." He couldn't look at the coon, eyes glued to his shoes.

The raccoon's expression had faded. "Well..." he said quietly, "You know, Brad... I think I'm up for that."

A little smile spread across his narrow muzzle, while the wolf's gaze slowly drew up to meet it.

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Before anyone hassles me about it, yes, the mention of lactose intolerance was an HH shout-out. Also one of those things Valanx does where he tries to represent things more realistically - a lot of lactose-intolerant people in media asplode if they so much as see a cow, whereas several people I know in real life can consume lactose without problems, as long as they're careful to only have a bit of it.

See you guys next week! :3