FSE

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In the castle, it was a quiet day. The head cleaner, a shire named Shire, was just doing his rounds, keeping the place clean. He mopped the floors and swept the dust away; he smiled but felt kinda out of place. The same thing again and again.

Thanks to some stranger he had been turned into a alicorn, he could now fly up into the rafters of the castle and clean there; his magic was quite good too as he had been permitted to learn from the princess' old instruction books. "This is really boring, I need a change of pace, I'll look though the wanted ads," he said, sweeping up some dust and cleaning a vase.

After he had finished his work he looked though the wanted ads. There were ads for everything: The Wonderbolts, entertainer, train driver, toy maker... The shire looked though and then saw a small wanted ad: "Wanted: mares or stallions for mail flights. Go see the whole of Equestria and beyond~"

Shire looked at it, and decided to go for it.

He flew towards the post office; he'd left a note for the princess, it read: "Gone to try another job, be back whenever." As he landed, other ponies looked at him; he was quite tall, after all. As he waited in the queue he looked at the "For Sale" ads on the side, and took one that listed some music down to peruse as he waited.

Finally, he reached the front. "Hello sir how may I help you today?" an old grey mare said behind the desk.

"I'd like to apply for the job of post-stallion," he said, showing her the want ad.

"Oh, well in that case, fill this form out and then go to the side and say again that you want to be a post stallion, good luck," she said, giving him a bit of paper.

Shire filled the paper out and then walked to the side only seeing a stallion at the gates. He lifted the gate and the stallion stopped him. "Paperwork, sir?" he asked, feeling small compared to Shire.

Shire handed it to him; he read it and then stamped it with a pass in the box that had a mark saying pass/fail. "Follow me please, sir," he said, leading him to a room.

In the room there were uniforms, the shire was put in the largest available size as demanded by his large frame. He was then lead on. He saw a few other mares and stallions waiting. A stallion came out and looked at the new mares and stallions; He then told them to line up they did so.

"Welcome to the post office try-outs, you'll be tested on three levels. Level one will be testing how powerful you are, by flying or walking into rain, snow, hail and thunder, and the worst weather for post ponies: fog. And for the Pegasi you'll have to also fly though this.

"Level two will be the running test, you must out run a mad dog that'll chase and will bite you.

"Level 3 will be the hardest of all, but I'll leave that until I see how many of you are left," he said, looking at them as they stood there, a few already looking worried.

"Now then, let's start with the weather test. Follow me." And follow him they did.

As they got to the course made up of 5 different elements of weather, they gasped. In front of them were 5 long tunnels, each had what the person said, but the fog one was covered so you couldn't see anything of what it held in store until you entered it. Each one was long, and looked hard.

"Who wants to go first then?" he said. The others looked and backed down, but Shire stepped forth.

"Well done lad, now you're a, an alicorn... Wow... Well, in that case you'll be flying and walking. Good luck" He handed Shire a bag of post, which Shire tucked under his wing.

"Ready, set, GO!"

Shire walked into the course, the bag tucked under his wing to stop the letters and items within from getting wet. He walked though the rain, getting wet but not caring, even though it was heavy and hard.

Next was the snow. Shire walked though the snow with ease as if it was only a few inches deep when really it was normal pony height.

The hailstones hit Shire but it did nothing; he just kept walking, the small balls and golf-ball sized ones simply batting off him.

The lightning did nothing as well; even when it almost hit him he didn't flinch. The fog was the same walking though it and exiting out the other side.

The examiner looked amazed that this pony wasn't in pain or crying from what he'd just been though. He then looked for the bag thinking that Shire had dropped it, but Shire lifted up his wing and there was the post bag dry and not wet.

"Lad, that was the best! How'd you get though that weather? And not be crying or quit half way though?" he asked, wanting to know.

"Easy that was, worked in tougher weather then that; now then you want me to fly?" Shire said, looking at the higher course, which was the same as the walking one but in the sky. The examiner nodded.

Shire flew up and waited for the signal. The pony on the ground blew the whistle and Shire flew off into the course. He went though the rain with ease, the snow was cold but easy, hail hurt but he shrugged it off, lightning flashed past him only missing him by inches, and the fog he just flew though it like it was light fog, not "thick enough to cut with a knife" fog.

He landed, the bag only a bit wet from where he couldn't hide it under his wing, but the insides were dry, not damp, wet, or unable to be read.

"Another great run lad, now you lot that's how it done, so let's be having you!" the examiner shouted.

As Shire watched the others try the courses he shouted out encouragement to them. They all got stuck in one part of the course the fog not being able to see, there was a slight little thing in both of them, a cardboard cut out of a pony also having trouble getting though the fog. As they rested from that they sighed. Two left just from that, quitting and walking out.

There were now only five hopefuls left.

"Well done you lot, two have gone just from one test. You lot are good to stay; now comes level 2, the dog, and you'll be doing two bits for this one. Oh, sorry, did I forget to say you'll be pulling a cart while the dog chases you, and going into a fenced area where the dog is? Must have slipped my mind, who's first?"

Again the others backed down but Shire went first; he was enjoying this. It was much better then cleaning the castle. They put on the cart on him and he saw the growling dog still chained.

"Ready? Let the dog go!" They pulled off the chain and the dog came a-running, woofing and snarling at the pony intruding on its territory.

Shire then galloped away, kicking up a lot of dust in the dog's face, it coughed but still ran after him, the shire then started to zig zag. The mutt kept coming after him, panting from the zig-zagging -and also slowing.

Shire snorted, and galloped fast along the road; so fast the others watching lost their hats from the wind he made as he passed. The mutt gasped and lay down, tired and not wanting to go on. It walked back to its chain as the shire stopped, snorting and smiling.

"Well done lad that was the best I've seen, where'd you learn to do that?" the examiner asked again, wanting to know.

"Easy, back on the farm with the cart, if the dog got you, it cost you a rabies shot and a loss of food, so you ran until either the dog gave up or you were back home where you could get your ma to chase it away with her pan," Shire said, not quite out of breath but gasping a little.

The next part was the run to the front door from the gate to put the letter in the letter box. This might have been easy, but the dog was angry; not from the race but rather this was a dog that had never liked post ponies.

"Ready? GO!"

Shire snorted and looked at the dog; he stepped back and galloped towards the fence, leaping over it. The dog cowered, then looked and saw him at the door posting the letter. It felt a bit dumb from that. Growling, it ran and charged teeth bared, ready to chomp on that nice pony leg.

Shire waited, then from nowhere got a bone and lobbed it into the doghouse. The mutt stopped and panted, and ran into its home munching on the bone. The shire exited.

"You sure you've not done this before lad? Only with another mail service?" the examiner said, looking at the others, who where in awe over shire's prowess.

The others went and got bitten hard. They quit, as they knew that from here it was only going to get worse. Only Shire and one other pony were left now; he was wet, tired, and bitten, but wanted to keep going.

"The final part of the test and only two of you are left. Both of you are now at the final leg, sorry for that pun. You must now go to an address with this letter; you only have 5 minutes to get it there. The reason? It's an urgent letter addressed to the Princess, who is waiting." The examiner handed the letters to the two ponies.

Shire ran off, galloping away then taking flight. He flew though clouds leaving pony-shaped holes in them; one of the clouds was a rain cloud, but Shire didn't care, he just kept going.

Shire then crashed though one of the windows of the castle; thankfully it was one with nothing on it. He crash landed at the Princess' hooves, holding the letter up.

She picked up. It in fact had nothing on it, but she was recording the time. "3:55, the best time yet. Well done, Shire, I'm impressed," she said, waiting for the other letter.

The other pony came in just over 5 minutes, but said he got lost in the clouds. "Well done Shire and Fluke, you two are now real post stallions"

The examiner pony hoofed them two badges, both of which showed a mare with letter in her mouth. They both hugged each other, but knew their new job was going to be tough.

Each day they got up and fought the tough weather like they had from the course. Mad rabid dogs or other creatures chased them. Fluke quit after a week; he was bitten, and had lost ponies' mail.

Shire kept going; nothing would stop him, until an urgent letter was dropped into the pony's mail box, but at night.

"Shire, you're needed! Urgent letter!" one post officer said, handing him the letter.

"I'm on it," Shire responded. But he had no idea what he was in for. He grabbed the letter and flew off, flying toward danger, for every so often that letter would come through at night but it was a fake a trap meant to trap post ponies, and Shire hadn't been told about this.

Shire flew and landed, seeing he was 5 minutes on the dot but it was a long flight. He then looked at the cave. There was no letter box so he walked in, he was careful though not wanting to disturb anything or one. Then he heard voices, this distracted him. Then, whoosh! He was trapped in a net! Then a louder voice was heard.

"Ah, it would appear another mail pony has been sent to me, I do like to keep them as pets," the monster said, showing himself. The monster was a dragon, a big one, black all over with grey underbelly scales.

"What do you want from me? I've got this letter to give to you, this is funny to you, but not to me," Shire said, trying to get out, but his wings were trapped in the net.

"YOU'RE NOW MY PONY!" the dragon bellowed and roared, as he grabbed the net and chucked him into a cell.

Shire looked as the dragon re-set the trap; he then heard voices from the cell he was in. Using his magic to light up the cell, he saw what was making those voices. There were five ponies in uniform, all post ponies like him. Then he heard more voices; using his horn to light the back of the cell more he saw six other ponies, all grey and in uniform, thin and looking almost like skeletons.

He was shocked; no wonder they needed new post ponies if they keep going here and then not returning. Shire knew he had to get out, but how?

He looked at the door holding them; it was wooden and old, he rattled it and it was so loose a hard kick would knock it down. He paced back and forth thinking, he then saw at the back of the cell an old post cart. He looked inside and there was nothing, just mailbags, the first thing he did was open them. The mail was over 30 years old at the newest. The others just looked him; he couldn't do that, it was against the rules.

Shire then found a few boxes of the same size addressed to one street in the road, opening it up revealed loads of old candy bars from years ago. He passed out the old chocolate bars; the ponies ate them, having not eaten in ages as the dragon only fed them other dead animals.

Shire then made a fire from some of the letters, making sure to only use junk mail and not real letters for fuel. After talking with the ponies he had a plan of action, he then told them the plan. As the ponies climbed into the cart, they discovered ways to improve on the plan: one of them found some TNT in a package, and another some old sleeping pills.

The shire watched the dragon. He then, with the aid of the fire to temporarily soften the candy, put the whole jar's worth of sleeping pills into one of the chocolate bars, hoping that it would be strong enough a dose to work.

"Oh mister dragon, these chocolate bars are wonderful, here have one!" He held the drugged bar out from the cell.

"Oh thanks, not as good as my gift I was supposed to get 500 years ago, but it's at least SOMETHING from you useless scum," said the dragon as he grabbed the chocolate. He ate the bar in one gulp, almost taking shire's hoof with it. And then, the dragon yawned and fell asleep.

The shire looked at the dragon, making sure he was out cold before putting the plan into action. Shire lightly kicked the bars down, catching them as they fell so as to not wake the dragon. He then put them to the side. The other ponies put the TNT by the door, using a candle to light the fuse.

They then got into the cart as shire galloped away with the ponies inside just as he got to the door he took flight and....

KABOOOOOOOOM!

The TNT went, this boom woke the dragon, he roared as a lump of cave hit him then more as the cave collapsed behind him.

The shire watched as the cave fell and was gone, then he waited. The ponies in the cart cheered, but then a roar was heard. The dragon appeared from the rubble, angry and not happy at all anymore.

Shire landed and looked to see what the dragon's next move was.

"Grr! Dog go get them!"

A dog woofed and started to chase after them snarling and biting at air. Shire waited then kicked up a load of dust dirt and stones making sure he was also moving as he did that. The dog stopped and coughed waving the dirt away. It then saw that they were gone; it woofed, chasing after them again.

The shire then started to zig and zag, the dog woofed and gasped it was getting tried. The other ponies in the cart had found some meat -probably ordered by a griffon, and it had long since turned to jerky- and they threw it at the dog. The package of meat dropped and the dog stopped eating it then he yawned and feel asleep: more sleeping pills had been found and used.

The dragon roared and flew after the ponies himself now. The shire flapped his wings and flew up into the sky; he knew the dragon might be able to breath fire and would kill the forest if they tried to use it for cover. The cart flew too, the ponies in the back holding on for dear life. The dragon flew to the cart and snapped his teeth just missing the back of the cart. The ponies threw the last of the expired items out but the dragon just ate them. Things looked grim.

The dragon then opened his mouth and the ponies saw fire, he was about to shoot them down. In response, Shire then flew into the clouds and hit the fog, then he waited. The dragon followed them into the fog but then roared in frustration as he couldn't see. He flapped his wings trying to blow it away, but the fog like a blanket just wrapped around him instead. Shire lightly flew out of the fog and landed, running away, wings now tired from that flying.

The dragon roared and flapped his wings more, but nothing happened; after managing to think some more he then instead blew fire making the fog go away, revealing Shire and the ponies on the ground.

The dragon flew towards Shire; the stallion only a few inches away from the post office.

The dragon roared and flew downwards: he was going to crash into the ponies, hopefully either hurting them, or making them pay for demolishing his cave and for not giving him his package all those years ago. The older ponies held each others' hooves and started to pray.

Shire waited for the dragon to come closer, closer... then he moved to the left sharply. The dragon had no time to stop himself and crashed into the ground, hitting the ground hard then rolling going over and over until he stopped a few metres away from the post office.

The shire ran in front of the dragon and looked at the dragon, who roared angrily but stayed down. "Well at least now I can destroy the post office for not giving me my package 500 years ago," he said, starting to smoke, ready to shoot his fire at the post office.

"Wait, that's why you captured post ponies? What's the name of your cave, and your own name?" Shire asked quickly parking the cart as other post ponies helped the older ponies out of the cart.

"D. Argon, I sent off for an item 500 years ago and never got it, even though I got the letter saying we've sent your package," he said, looking at the post office and wanting to destroy it.

Shire walked into the "not delivered/not collected" area. He looked though the post years, then saw the post from 500 years ago and there was indeed a big package, it was old and still wrapped in brown paper, and still addressed to a mister D. Argon. Shire picked it up and carried it outside.

"Here's the reason, you needed to come here to fetch it, too heavy to be carried to your cave, sign here" Shire said holding out a piece of paper which looked as old as the paper on the letter. The dragon signed it, picking up the package.

With a swipe of his claw D. Argon opened the box and there was a machine made from tin. There was a stable, housing a pony and a cart. "Wow, 500 years and it still looks as I remembered it!" he said, pulling out a coin. He put the coin in the ponies' cart, the pony in the stable started to move hitching up to the cart and walking up a hill. It then got to the top and dropped off the coin into a box behind the mountain.

Then a lion came up with a bump on its head and chased the pony back down the hill, it then stopped halfway. The lion and went back to the top, the pony ran back down and hid in his stable, stopping and turning around so that his cart could be loaded once more. At the back was a key which when opened showed a plastic pot and there was the coin, it also showed the workings of the toy.

"That was fun!" D. Argon flew off with his tin toy to have fun; the shire felt sorry for destroying his cave so he flew with the dragon and used his magic to repair the damage. It was easy to repair, like doing a jigsaw puzzle but on a much larger scale.

Afterwards the older ponies returned to there homes, but most of them returned home to find another pony living there. Shire got Princess Celestia to send them back to their own time and change the time lines so that things worked out for everyone; a very hard task to do, but justified and worth the effort here. With her horn glowing, each pony went back to their own time. She then spent most of the day changing events and making sure nothing could go wrong which it didn't as she was in charge of it.

The post ponies cheered and thanked shire. They now had a dragon that was no longer a danger and wouldn't be taking post ponies any more. Most of the mail in that area was to be delivered to ponies, but because of the dragon no-one dared go.

Shire then handed his uniform in; the ponies looked at him.

"I'm sorry but this was fun but not for me, a bit too risky, but if you need someone to run the course, call me, I'll be glad to show how it's done," he said, flying off with the princess. As he got back to the castle he flopped onto his bed, tired from all that flying. He then drifted off to sleep.

When Shire awoke he was in for a surprise: when he looked out of his window he saw the dragon. He flew out and saw that D. Argon was in a post officer uniform, a hoof-made custom one.

"Oh hello Shire, I thought I'd pay you lot back by helping. I'm now international mail; if a pony wants to send a letter or big thing to another pony far away, I'm here for them." He smiled, flying out.

The shire smiled, he then got to work mopping and sweeping the castle floors. Back to his old routine, but he enjoyed it: no post to give to ponies, no getting up at 6 in the morning or earlier. He was now happy as he enjoyed this, working to his time shift and not to some other pony's.

Though every now and then, the post office would invite him back to run the course to show the new trainees how it's done.

~The end~