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Story by dontaskandiwonttell on SoFurry

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And, finally, my most recent story. Of the stories I've written, this may be my favorite. It's a rather personal one for me, as it's based off a character I am much more familiar Role Playing as than I am writing about. He's been a sincere friend to me since I was much younger, and I hope nobody takes offense to the atrocious homosexuality I subject him to. I hope instead you might enjoy the spin I've put on him, as, in a way, I've only added a part of myself.

I try my very best to be loyal to the canon (i.e. I understand that pokemon have no real sexual overtones displayed on camera, so I keep that all constant and try my best to work around it). If I fail at all to do so, I apologize.

But enough banter! Please: Read. Laugh. Enjoy. Comment. Favorite. Watch. Nachos!


An Account

Story by Iguessineedanaccount

Characters are all copyrighted to their respective owner(s), I'm not trying to make money off this, don't sue me, etc. etc.

Enjoy.

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"Let me tell ya, there is nothing quite like the feeling of a dick in your ass. Just something about th-...okay, alright, let me back up a bit. Hi. How's it goin. I'm Squirtle. That's what they call me these days anyways, I've had more descriptive titles in the past. You'll have to forgive my trainer, he's not the most creative. S'forgivable, I suppose, bein' that he's 10 n' all. If you can't handle all two syllables, Squirt works just fine. But enough chit chat, I'm tellin a story here, so get comfy. Pull up a chair, pull down your pants, whatever works, I'm not judgin.

Where to start, where to start...Right, got it:

Once upon a time, I was a gang leader. Yeah I know, you're thinkin, "But Squirt, you sound much too nice and charming a fellow to be in a gang!" And you're right: it was more a group of troublemakers than anything. I really am a sweetheart, honest, I just like a good prank. I've got a great sense of humor, trust me.

Well, after an interesting day involving my to-be trainer and a bunch of actual evildoers, I grew a soft spot for the kid and decided to tag along with him. He didn't come off as the brightest bulb, but he had a lotta heart; figured the least I could do was help him out. I said my goodbyes to the Squirtle Squad, gathered up a few personal belongings, and just like that I was on the road. Or off it. I swear that kid has no idea where he's headed half the time...

The first day was a little strange. I hadn't hung out in a pokéball for a while, so there was that, but I'm pretty go-with-the-flow, and Ash (that's the trainer I've been tellin ya about), he was decent enough to let us stretch our legs after dinner. The real trouble was gettin in good with my new compatriots. Y'see, they weren't exactly happy with me n the Squad for causin 'em so much trouble. Funny thing was, it wasn't even Pikachu givin me flak. I mean, yeah, he'd had a rough time with my Squad, but he was pretty friendly in spite of it. Nah, the real troublesome one was Bulbasaur. Guy had a big ol' thorn in his balls. All I wanted to do was have a nice civil discussion, tell a few jokes, learn a thing or two about the group, but no, this guy just cut me off at every corner. I swear I've met arboks who were less venomous than Bulbasaur was. I'd go to poke fun at Pikachu for needing rescuing, or being so close to Ash, or not wanting to hang out in a pokéball, and everyone knew where I was goin with the joke and was on board with it, except this freakin Bulbasaur! Heck, I'd get Charmander to start grinning just by throwin a mischevious glance his way during one of my setups, but Bulb-butt would cut me off and...just, damn, y'know?

Lookin back on it, I guess it was one of those cases of incompatible personalities. My cock-sure joker attitude didn't sit well with his gruff, serious demeanor. Iunno. Sometimes it happens like that. I woulda called him out on the bullshit, but being the new guy, I didn't wanna lose what approval with the group I'd only just gained that evening. Not to mention he was a fairly bulky grass type as far as bulbasaurs go. So I let it slide for the time being. I decided I'd talk to him later, see if I could get him to give me a chance. I'm personable like that.


Turned out he wasn't too hard to get alone. While everyone else was tucking in n' counting mareeps, he was sittin off by his lonesome on the edge of the camp. As much as I probably shoulda just left him to his musings, I wanted to see if I could maybe get him to lighten up, so I figured the risk of disturbing his peace was worth it. After all, didn't seem like he was being very peaceful to begin with.

There was no good way to go about approaching him, so I went ahead and plopped down next to him on the grass. It had started to dew over, but water n' me get along pretty well, as you might expect. I could practically feel the anger radiating from him as he tensed up instantly. Sheesh...I guess I'm a sap sometimes, but I couldn't help but smirk. I thought it was kinda cute.

I gave him a couple seconds to get used to me being there, though I doubt it helped much, since he was clearly out to have a bad time no matter what.

"So how's a bulbasaur like yourself end up touring with a trainer?"

Silence. Tsh.

I went ahead and got to the point:

"Alright cmon, ya gotta give me a chance before ya go n' hate me, y'only met me today. What's the problem? Think my jokes are corny? Yeah okay, I'll give you that one. Got a beef with water types? So we're a little slippery, big deal. Don't dig the shades? Fine, I won't wear em. Cmon, give me somethin to work with h-"

"Go. Away."

Now, at this point, I had two options: walk away, or push my luck. You can probably guess which one I chose.

"Hm...No. Nah, I don't think it's gonna work like that here. See, we're gonna be hangin out a lot in the near future, and you're gonna have to put up with me as much as I'm gonna have to put up with you. So far, I think I'm makin a much better effort to have a pleasant experience t' that end. You're more like a wet towel. Good thing I'm a water type, or I might hold that against you."

They say it's better to make someone angry than to not make an impression, so I guess his growl in response was a plus.

"Lucky for you, I'm pretty laid back, so I'm willing to overlook that.

...Cmon, I'm being more'n fair. Just give me a chance, alright?"

It was pushing it and I knew it, but I couldn't resist putting a hand on his shoulder; just seemed like the right thing to do. He let it sit there for about two seconds with a blank expression on his face. I gave a little squeeze, hoping he'd loosen up a bit to the contact.

I had about a millisecond to watch his face contort from consideration into anger before I found myself flat on my back. He stepped over me with his front legs above my shoulders. He put his face right in mine. It was a bit intimidating to be so quickly overwhelmed like that, but...I gotta admit, my mind was in all the wrong places. I was pretty much just thinkin about how cute he looked up close. I didn't want to offend him though; I mean, it seemed like we were gettin somewhere just before that! So I put on my best surprised expression and went along with whatever he was doin.

"I don't like you." His eyes bore into mine like red embers; I swear I could feel the heat pulsing off of him.

"You're obnoxious, you're abrasive, you're some stupid little punk who puts others in danger for his own amusement." His words stung a bit, but it wasn't anything I hadn't expected.

"Whoa, hey, c'mon-"

"No. I'm not going to give you a chance. You're just going to cause problems and make us all miserable."

"...You've barely been-"

"Shut the hell up! I don't care what you think. You come in here with your confident swagger and your dark shades and think you're just going to instantly win everyone over?! Huh? No fucking way! I'm not falling for it like everyone else. No. I don't like you. I refuse to like you."

Up 'til that point I'd been gettin more n' more confused. I mean yeah, I understand someone disliking me, but this was a whole 'nother level. The guy just met me, how the hell could I have made him that miserable in a couple short hours?

But I had this little epiphany right then. Y'ever have a moment where you suddenly find a completely sensible meaning in somethin that otherwise could probably be considered chaos? It just dawned on me. Even if it seemed...I dunno, random? It just fit.

"...Hey...Bulbasaur...

...Who're you tryin to convince...?"

His eyes said it all: piercing, sure, but in an investigative way...curious...scared...

Normally, I might've smiled and said somethin quippy, but I was just flat out surprised. Pretty flattered, too, actually. And he just looked so unsure...

It was a quick gesture, raising my head a little, but he mirrored it so instinctually. Our lips touched in a brief moment of agreement. His quivered a bit, like he knew what he wanted but wasn't quite ready for it yet. I pulled back after a couple seconds to see how he was doing. He had a light blush on his cheeks.

I didn't get t' look at much else though, 'cause he practically glued his face to mine after that. I did my best to return his affections, but he was kinda new at it as far as I could tell, so he didn't really know what he was doin. The toughest part might've been gettin him to open his mouth. He was just tense, I guess. Maybe still havin some second thoughts. Whatever it was, he got past it with a little encouragement from my prying tongue, and from there it didn't take long 'til I was suckin on his in return.

Yeah, if you haven't figured it out yet, this is gonna get pretty gay pretty fast, so if s'not your thing, feel free to leave. No? No takers? Well aren't you all a buncha fags. Heheh. Anyway, where was I.

So there we are, him on top of me, tongues intertwined, and I feel him start grinding into my plastron and making these quiet moans into my mouth. Now, a quick note on squirtle anatomy here, since everyone I ever talk to seems to have no fuckin idea about the subject. As you may know, we've got these big ol' bulky shells. The front part, the yellow stuff here, s'called a plastron. Now whatcha probably don't know is how the hell we get around that when we're horny. And yes, I do have a penis before you ask, and I'll spoil the surprise and tell you that yeah, it's pretty big for a squirtle. And I'm not just sayin that. Anyway, our plastrons are segmented. You can see those lines, right? Well the bottom segment, which is also where my tail sticks out from, is this big triangular piece here. It covers all of my delicates, which is great when I'm battlin or doin day to day stuff. But, when it comes to sex, it's gotta get out of the way. Thankfully, there's some sorta lock or somethin on it. I don't know exactly how it works, my shell's surprisingly complex for something I take for granted. I mean how the hell would a blastoise get cannons out of it otherwise, I guess, but still, baffles me. Anyway, every squirtle eventually figures out that you can undo the lock with a little finagling (I'm not gonna tell you exactly how, y'perv), and the whole segment comes right off. If you're dumb as a brick, I guess it's possible to lose it and have to live your life with a nice breeze between your legs. Not that that's a huge deal anyway: our nuts are internal and our dicks retract into a slit when we're not wavin 'em around.

...Alright, you get the picture. So Bulbasaur's humpin against my groin plate, and on the flip side of my plastron I've got an erection goin myself. For reasons I mentioned before, it's pretty cramped in my shell, and the fact that we're both hot n bothered wasn't making it any better. As much as I was enjoying letting his tentative tongue probe around my mouth (he had a faint taste of mint and dandelion about him; dunno why, but I liked it), I really needed to release some pressure down there, so I put a hand on his chest and pushed up just a little. He seemed kinda reluctant to pull back, and to be fair, I was too. He panted as he looked at me, in that "I'm tryin t' keep my composure despite bein incredibly aroused" kind of way. Well, that's what I got out of it anyway, he probably had a million things goin through his mind.

Now, I didn't want to startle him, but I had to get my groin plate off, and I figured I was probably gonna find a dick on top of it, though it's hard to tell when you can't feel much of anything through your shell. So, nice and slow, I reached down with my free hand. I loved the cute little sound he made when my digits brushed against his tip, that sharp sucking in of breath followed by a shaky release. I don't think I'd realized 'til then just how worked up over this he'd been gettin. Much as I wanted to let Squirt, Jr. out, I couldn't help but let my hand sweep across his shaft again, givin it a good rub once or twice. I tell ya, that bulbasaur's got a real nice cock. Unlike mine, his is all external, n' it doesn't taper at the tip, just gets a little thicker at the middle. Got some skin over the tip, too, though when he's all worked up like that it's drawn pretty taut so you can just see the extra sensitive pink skin underneath the green. Not t' mention those nice round balls that compliment it oh so well. Man, I coulda played with that thing for hours. His face might've been my favorite part, though, in all honesty; his eyes gettin all clenched up, his mouth twistin into all sortsa funny shapes...

I could tell he was pretty raring to go from all the pre already spattered on my plastron, so after I got done groping him, I didn't waste time gettin rid of my groin plate. I guess the level of my faggotry knows no bounds, but I can't tell ya in words how excited I got when I finally felt his dick resting against mine. Somethin about that moment...Iunno. It just seemed really perfect somehow. Just the weight and warmth of it resting there while he was tryin to hold as still as possible, worried about everything n' nothin...Fuck.

Well, I didn't wanna dance around the issue too much, but I was really lookin forward to sex right about then, much as I was enjoyin the moment, so I went ahead n wrapped my hand around his cock again. Using the hand I left on his chest, I guided him backward, getting him t' take a step back. Unfortunately, the shell kinda prevents me from bending in the middle much, so I had to let go and trust him to get the idea. He caught on pretty quick, and a couple short seconds later I felt a warm, wet tip pokin around at my tailhole.

There we were, acquainted all of about 6 hours, cocks out, prepped to fuck, possibly within earshot of the rest of the group (though I really don't think either of us cared at that point much). It was another one a' those moments where both of us probably wanted to say somethin, but with everything goin' on, our desire to get down t' business took precedence. I put my hand on his shoulder, right where I touched him the first time, and gave him a couple small nods. And just like that, he pushed forward and the pressure against my tailhole became much tighter and more internal.

If y'hadn't figured it out already, I'm a bit of a pokéwhore. I've dealt with my fair share of cocks and their owners over the years. So, you can imagine my surprise when Bulbasaur turned out to be a pretty tight fit. Coulda been that I didn't have much time to adjust; as soon as he got his tip in, Bulbsy musta just been unable to resist the feeling, 'cause he shoved a good two thirds of that thick thing in. I've been there, I can sympathize, but UNF! Felt like I'd been impaled on a rhydon!

Must say, I've had gentler lays before. Bulbasaur's heart was in the right place, but he was inexperienced, and his size didn't exactly make it an easy process. Sure kept me wrapped up trying to stifle groans as he pushed his last inch or so in, that's for sure. Even with all the pre he was leakin into me with that monster, it was pretty rough. I rode it out well, for my part; sure, it was a pain in the ass then, but it'd get a lot more enjoyable soon. I felt something warm on my chin, and, opening my eyes, I found Bulbasaur givin me a little lick. Looking back on it, I think he was just tryin t' cope with the feeling n' needed to rest his head for a second, but I thought it was real sweet of him at the time.

He stayed there for a while, which was probably for the best, since we both needed a minute to get used to each other. But, being the horny fuck I am, I didn't wait long enough before giving him a kiss on the nose and clenching ever so slightly around his cock. He thrust even harder against me out of instinct, despite havin approximately no room to do so, but it still made me wince like a bitch.

We took another second to catch our breath. Then we got to business.

"Oh, fuck" s'pretty much all I have to say about Bulbasaur's first attempt to pull back. It was no easy task, partially from how tight I was grippin his dick, but also because I was on my back. Y'see, my back is, for all intents n' purposes, a shell, and it happens t' be round. So when he tried to move back slowly, my shell rocked toward his groin n then started sliding on the grass. Didn't matter much though, since he only made it about two inches out before he hit a sweet spot and couldn't help but thrust forward again. I'll give him this, at least: he was determined, because he barely even paused before tryin again. He made it about halfway that time. Might've been as far as he ever went back, honestly. As my ass started t' be a little more accommodating to its new guest, it got easier for him t' move his meat around, so he started goin a little faster. The tentative thrusts he started off with eventually turned into somethin of a rhythm. Problem was, the further he pulled out, the more I rocked backward, n' the harder it was for him to get a good pace. Well, iunno if he was taking that into account, but whatever the case, he kept his thrusts pretty hard and shallow. With his size though, it was still more'n enough to give my prostate a good pounding.

What was doubly nice about that was, in this position we had goin on, my cock was pressed tight between his belly and my plastron, gettin a hard rub-down with every thrust he made. Fuck did that feel good. Course, I was already havin enough fun with his dick deep in my ass, givin me as rigorous a ride as I'd ever had. Sometimes you get a nice pleasant session with lots of kissin n' touchin, n' those can be entertaining, but personally, a good, rough, maybe even uncoordinated fuck's really makes sex worth your while.

Now Bulbasaur had already been kinda close when he first put it in, so it might come as no surprise that his already shaky thrusts started gettin erratic pretty fast. Now don't get me wrong, I was havin a good time, but I wasn't anywhere near finished when I felt him give a particularly forceful hump, burying his cock in me and shooting a considerable load. Poor guy musta really been pent up, because damn, he just kept goin n goin. He was twitchin n moanin on top of me with his teeth all gritted, pumpin his seed into all those usually unreachable places in me. It felt awesome. Just knowin you have the ability t' make someone cum like that's pretty great, but, just feelin em completely drain their balls in your ass, feelin em writhe against you, that's somethin else entirely.

So he finally starts comin down from his little visit to heaven, and he's probably thinkin, "Haah...shit...what am I gonna say to Squirt?"

Well, lucky for him, I was still rock hard n' bent on gettin off. So I gave him a bit to relax and enjoy the moment.

"Guess I'm not such a bad guy after all, huh?"

It was a little premature for that one I guess, because he didn't laugh too much; if anything, he seemed to get nervous again.

"I'm kiddin, I'm terrible."

As his mouth hung open trying to form a response, I pushed up on his chest again, a bit more forcefully, and made him back up off of me. His cock popped out with a wet *shlorp*. Tryin to keep our intermission brief, I rolled over onto my stomach as quickly as I could without lookin like I was too eager, then pushed myself up onto my hands and knees. I looked back over my shoulder at him, throwin out one of my trademark grins.

"Well I sure as shit didn't just let you abuse my ass to not get off myself. Get over here with that sausage of yours n' finish what you started."

I saw his cock jump hard enough to get a drop of cum on his stomach when I raised my tail. I can imagine why, too; not every day y'see a tailhole that's leakin cum already presented to ya.

He was still kinda tentative to mount me, but he didn't keep me waitin hardly at all. The second he found his mark, my hole was nice n full again with that thick bulbasaur dick. Gotta admit, he went right to work and didn't let up, even after an orgasm like that first one leavin him all hyper-sensitive. He was givin me nice long thrusts, gettin more'n half of his cock out each time. Musta been the new position. Whatever it was, he was a far more courteous fuck this time around. After he hit a good rhythm, right when I was really startin to pant n' grunt, I felt somethin wrap around my cock. At first I wasn't sure what to think (not that I was thinkin too straight at that point anyway), but, with a quick glance down, I confirmed my guess that he'd put his vines to use.

Nhf. Even tellin y'about this gets me worked up.

I wasn't too sure about the vines at first; figured they might be difficult to control. I was swiftly proven wrong. Bulbasaur just had a way with those things that was precise and sensual. Dunno where the hell he'd picked that up, but I wasn't complainin. I was in love with those things while they were runnin up n' down my cock, rubbin n squeezin it in all the right ways; I was drooling pre like a faucet.

I nearly whined when he stopped pumping his dick into my hole for a second, I was just that enamored. Course, he was only adjustin his front legs so that they wrapped around my hips, n' he got right back to it with another wet slap.

I started feeling myself gettin close about then, and judgin from how he was pumping into me now, I guessed he was getting pretty close too. Those vines were drivin my dick mad, one tickling the tip while the other wrapped tight around the base. Between that n' Bulbasaur's thick pole sliding in n out of my slick hole, grinding against my button...it didn't take more'n a few seconds for me to go from bein close to moaning n sighing as my orgasm rocked me hard.

Next thing I knew I was makin a real mess of the grass below me, covering it in white slime as Bulbasaur's vines squeezed me good. Course, Bulbasaur himself was hammering my clenching ass faster'n a buneary at that point, as if I wasn't gettin enough stimulation, so I just came all the harder. My cock wasn't even tryin to spasm each time I shot; I'd fire off a rope of cum as my dick bobbed, it'd hit my chin, n' then another string would just make a puddle on the ground beneath me.

Right about then he slammed home one last time, and, as if I didn't feel full enough from the first batch, he started painting my insides with a fresh coat of cum. I couldn't tell ya who was milking who harder, because every time I clenched down on his cock, it'd just press back against my prostate. We musta been goin for at least 30 seconds after he hit his peak, it was just that great.

By some small miracle I managed to not have my limbs fall out from under me as I came down from my orgasm; not that it woulda really been a problem, since I was already covered with jizz.

I became very aware of Bulbasaur's head directly next to mine all of a sudden. He, like I, was out of breath, tired, and, probably best of all, happy. I think it woulda been against my nature for me not to give his cheek a lick, which I did. He smiled a little more, which I was glad to see, but wasn't too surprised by. What he said next was a shocker, though.

"Well, that escalated quickly."

It took me a second to realize he'd made a joke, but when I got it, I started laughing, and then he joined in, and we just kept on laughing. It was hilarious; maybe not funny in the "ha-ha" sense, but the whole thing summarized like that, so simply and accurately...I dunno, you can't explain a good joke I guess.

Some day a long time after that, we reflected back on the whole affair; how random it was, the circumstances around it, the unlikeliness of something like that happening...But right then, we were content to just call it a night. So, with a few well-placed water guns, I cleaned us off n' we snuck back to bed.


I'd like to say that was the best experience I've ever had, but, to be honest with ya, it doesn't even come close. Since me n Bulb-butt ended up having a lot of time together to explore his interests, we've had some pretty fantastic moments. What was a rocky start that coulda ended badly turned into something real great. I guess I could ruin a nice thing with a corny joke n tell ya that he's my weakness, but s'kinda the truth. I dunno if I'd call it love, though I hardly know a thing about that. But, I'd sure call it special."