Too Funky

Story by Faora on SoFurry

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#22 of Fae's Christmas Music-Themed Special!


Heya, furballs! Welcome to Fae's Christmas Music-Themed Special 2012! The format is the same as the previous years! Five stories to tantalize your Christmas period. From today on the 21st to the 24th, you'll get a series of short stories all focused around a particular song's title or lyrics. And finally, on the 25th, you'll be treated to a much larger story that will have a coherent story from year to year, starting this one! Exciting!

Don't forget to keep an eye on my Twitter (@FaoraMeridian) if you want to know what's going up ahead of time, or if you want to be alerted to other stories or otherwise just hear me ramble on about random things!

But for now, I hope you enjoy Too Funky, the first of the proper 2012 stories!

  • Ol' Saint Fae

Too Funky

"A-aah! Dammit, Bruce! Y-you're gonna ruin the dress!"

The words broke off in the way they only can when a foot and a bit of horse cock's being rammed into your backside. The little fox on the receiving end of the punishing thrusts made by the snorting equine on his back, scrabbled one hand back to yank the dark blue silk dress back away from the heavy bucks of Bruce's hips.

Music thumped the walls of the alley. Each beat marked a new thrust, the club next door's inspiration for its bouncer's every motion. On most guys, there was no way they could take each slam of the horse's hips and keep the presence of mind to be concerned about their state of dress. Even most foxes would struggle to keep their mind on anything other than yipping and moaning up a storm.

But then, Alisha wasn't the usual fox.

One paw braced against the brick wall. Hard cock dripped slick pre through formerly pristine white panties. A slight tear in that slinky blue dress went only barely noticed, but folds in the fabric would keep the illusion of a sultry vixen intact to most casual observers. That was the game: illusion of femininity.

Or that was the game most days and nights. The shiver that wound through Alisha's body had less to do with the horny club bouncer plowing his insides and more what was still waiting for him afterward. It was that thought even more than the horse himself that kept Alisha's arousal and need struggling to compete with concern for his state of dress.

Hips ground back against the horse's shuddering thrusts as a hot snort washed down over the back of Alisha's neck. "Too bad for the dress," he managed to muttered under his breath as his thrusts pounded into Alisha's backside just that much harder. "Told you to take the damn thing off... if you weren't milkin' me dry here... f-fuck!"

Inner muscles squeezed and rubbed, teasing and coaxing along every inch of that towering equine shaft. A roll of Alisha's eyes went unnoticed by Bruce, so focused was he on his own efforts. Since he'd turned twenty-one, the effeminate fox hadn't needed to take a load from a bouncer to get past the front door. The damn brutes just gave a pounding and let you go. There was no fun. There was nothing to take from them.

But, as that foot or so of horse cock pulsed and throbbed against Alisha's insides, his own malehood strained through the panties that kept it trapped. Instructions had been to not get off for three days, but make sure that his backside was stretched out. Instructions had been to meet his would be partner - 'mark' was a much better word for it, though - nearby, and to come a little drippy from one end or another. Alisha knew which end he wanted.

The horse's cock ground up and along Alisha's prostate and drew at least one moan from him that wasn't faked. It felt good and all to be taken by that big cock and its powerful strokes, but Alisha wasn't there to take his pleasure from some horned-up horse who was too eager to last more that a couple minutes. He was there for a bigger score.

If he was after a straight mark - the usual males he seduced at parties and functions with the promise of all the oral and anal that their wives denied them - then being left leaking the spunk of another male might have been enough to shatter the carefully-crafted illusion that Alisha was all theirs. They were fun, he admitted. More fun than a huffing horse who barely knew how to fuck a tailhole.

As those thrusts began to shudder with uneven bucks of Bruce's hips, Alisha held back a sigh. Instead he arched his back and clawed at the wall, his own hips rising and pressing back to meet the equine's ragged gasps. The time was right to finish it all off. "C'mon, honey," he cooed in his sweetest, most effeminate voice. "Pump it all up in me... leave me leaking for days...!"

The words were perfectly timed and the effect was instant. Huffs turned to grunts and grunts to moans as Bruce tugged Alisha off the wall and flush against his front. Every inch of his cock slid right down to the hilt inside Alisha's backside, and the fox forced himself to groan in exaggerated pleasure as a series of relatively weak spurts of cum splattered his insides. If this had been what he cleared his night for, the fox would have been severely disappointed.

It didn't even last all that long. Bruce roughly pulled out not even half a minute later and gave the vulpine's stretched backside a firm swat through his dress. "Heh. Not a bad fuck, are ya, bitch?"

All too strongly was Alisha reminded of the taser he kept in his little purse, and the temptation to see just how Bruce would respond to a little impromptu e-stim play almost overwhelmed him. But instead, the fox just leaned up against the wall and tried to squeeze himself closed around that hot, if not so substantial as he'd hoped, load of horse cum. "Only as good as the stud breeding me," he replied, as he glanced back over his shoulder with a sultry wink.

The double meaning and subtle insult was lost on the horse, who snorted proudly to himself as he pulled his pants back up over his drooling and softening cock. "Well, you ever need a real stallion to pound that pretty ass again, you know where to find me," he said, and gave that pretty ass another slap before he stepped out of the alley.

Alisha popped his back as he stood up straighter, eyes narrowed to frustrated slits as he glared after the horse. "I ever need a real stallion to pound that pretty ass, I know where not to come," he muttered to himself as he yanked his panties back up over his filled backside. A little wriggle of his hips confirmed the slosh of Bruce's sizable load inside him. For all the things that the bouncer got wrong, at least he went off like a broken hose. It wasn't enough of a saving grace for the fox.

A quick pat-down showed that Alisha was still in decent shape. The dress wasn't noticeably torn, though he knew he'd have to have it seen to before too many more uses. His hair was still done up, though a couple errant strands of hair had fallen loose across his face. The fox left them there with a little smile as he snatched up his purse. A little hint of what his mark knew he'd been up to would be just perfect.

High heels clacked against the sidewalk as Alisha stepped out onto the street. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bruce give him a little wink and an appraising grin from his station out the front of the club. Alisha offered a little wave as he turned his back on the horse, his tail swishing beneath the dress. Spite drove him to walk away out of time with the heavy beats of Bruce's club, but he still coyly sashayed his hips. One never knew when it would be useful to have a bouncer on their side, even if they couldn't fuck worth a damn.

A couple minutes was all it took to bring Alisha to the restaurant he'd been told to meet his mark at. He strode right in the front door as people in the queue started to stare at him. More than a few scowled unappreciatively; the more sensitive the nose, the more easily they were able to pick up how strongly the slutty little fem-fox reeked of horse cum. Alisha held his head high, though; there was nothing for him to be ashamed of. If anyone should have felt ashamed, he was certain that Bruce was it.

By the time Alisha reached the front of the queue, he'd begun to feel some of the horse's spunk start to leak out even around his practiced muscles. His panties grew more damp as he leaned over the little podium at the head of the line and gave the otter who staffed it his sweetest smile. "I'm here for Darnell, please."

The inside of the otter's ears turned a little red as he sniffed at the air, and he nodded quickly as he turned toward the rest of the restaurant. "He's in his usual booth, miss Devereaux. He's expecting you."

Alisha's smile only broadened as he stepped around the podium and strode into the restaurant proper. He ignored the glances and the stares he attracted from all corners as he made his way toward the back of the seating area, and the ghost of a smile spread his lips as he spotted the usual booth. It took a moment of restraint to keep Alisha from speeding up, but he found himself able to maintain his lazy gait.

From that boot rose a single male figure. Lupine paws brushed down a black suit and waved toward the booth in invitation as Alisha arrived beside it. "Mmm... ravishing as always, my dear," he said, his voice a bass rumble that sent a new shiver through Alisha's body. "It's good to see you again."

"The pleasure's all mine, master Willever," Alisha replied with a bow of his head. He slid into the seat and wriggled in lightly against it as he clasped his paws atop the table. The single candle that burned in the center lit up the fox's smile as the wolf settled in opposite him.

Darnell nodded back as he ran his hands gently down his front and leaned back in his seat. Brilliant yellow eyes scanned up and down Alisha's face as the wolf's nostrils flared. "Mmm... horse? How was he, my dear?"

Alisha gave a slight shrug as he crossed one leg over the other beneath the table. "Nothing special," he admitted, as he reached into his purse. From it he withdrew a little black wallet and slid it across the table. "I got a little bored, so I let my fingers wander a little while he... made use of me."

"I've no doubt he received the better end of the deal," the wolf said, as he grasped at the wallet. He flicked through it a moment before he smirked at Alisha with one cocked eyebrow. "Now now, Allie. Haven't I told you that stealing is wrong?"

The fox mirrored Darnell's expression and added a coy little twist of the muzzle. "He says, as he tries to steal every glance he can at what that horsie left for you."

If not for Alisha's familiarity with Darnell, the shudder that ran through the wolf might have been unexpected. It was all part of the act, though. Darnell played at being in control, and Alisha allowed him to believe that. He wouldn't have the fox around if he wasn't getting something out of it though, and that was exactly how Alisha sank his hooks in. "Aww, I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to get you worked up in front of everyone so easily."

But Darnell just shrugged and smiled as he controlled himself. He glanced up and to the side as a shadow fell across Alisha, and the otter who'd been at the podium appeared beside the fox. "Bring us my shiraz if you don't mind, Timmy," he told the otter, as he smiled a little wider at Alisha. "The... lady here could use a drink, I think. It's been a long night for him."

The otter's nod came fluidly. If there was any surprise at the gender pronoun confusion, he didn't show it. He did cast an appraising eye down at Alisha as he turned away, and the fox caught the otter's little sniff and shiver. "He's a cute one. Taken him out back yet, master Willever?"

The paw with Bruce's wallet in it slid across the table and brushed it aside. It came to rest atop both of Alisha's paws and gave a little squeeze. "He still has to find his place here. Once he has, we can see about breaking him in. Besides," he added with another squeeze, "I've already got one pretty, young thing to turn me into a mess."

"The mess is already in pretty deep," countered Alisha with a little smirk of his own. The tingle that worked through Darnell's body was more intense that time, and the fox stood slowly to move around the table. Beneath his dress, he could feel some of the horse's load start to dampen the blue silk behind his rump.

As Darnell slid to the side, Alisha sat slowly down beside him. One paw drifted across to take the wolf's and draw it down under him, and he trapped those digits there between slick rump and temporarily dry cushioned seat. "There we go, sweety... feel how wet he got me? That's just what's drooling out now."

That time there was no reaction at all from Darnell. He went stiff as a board instantly, every muscle tensing up save for those in his fingers. They curled upward, applying pressure to Alisha's stretched backside as they rubbed against his abused tailhole.

That was the power Alisha sought. That was the power Alisha wielded. Taking things from people? That was easy. But as he ground down against those fingers, let them press up ever so slightly into him through dress and panties, he knew what real power was. The power to make someone give you what you want them to, all through giving them what they want... that was the game Alisha truly played.

And as he exercised that power, he felt himself win out against Darnell. A long groan issued from his muzzle, deep and rumbling as he gently pushed Alisha back out of the boot again. "You know we can't have dinner just yet, now," he said, as he stood up tall beside Alisha. His pants bulged with the need to contain a shaft that almost matched Bruce's, and it was swiftly hidden by the back of Alisha's dress as he ground against the fox's rump.

Alisha just slowly worked himself back against that bulge. The dress might be ruined and the suit pants on Darnell might swiftly go the same way, but Alisha knew what he had to do. "Seems you've got something just as filling in mind, master Willever," he whispered back at him.

The answer came as a quick push and a firm grind, easing Alisha into motion. The fox grinned to himself as he was ushered onward, and he headed instantly toward the bathroom with Darnell constantly pressed up behind him. He knew where Darnell wanted him. He knew what Darnell wanted without needing to be pressed for it. And in giving it, Alisha was more able to get what he wanted.

No sooner had the pair hurried into the bathroom than Alisha found his footpaws lifted from the ground. One of his heels dangled from a toe as the other was left on the tiled floor, Darnell's strong arms lifting him up and pressing him onto the counter. His muzzle pressed in and against Alisha's as he slipped up between the fox's legs, but the vulpine just took it all in stride and quickly draped an arm over the wolf's shoulder.

He eased back even as he pulled Darnell up and into the kiss, his slick rump able to slide smoothly along the marble countertop. A moment later the wolf's paws rode up Alisha's thighs and eased the dress up, exposing the strained and pre-soaked front of his panties. Tongue worked against tongue as the wolf's excitement reached the breaking point, fingers all but tearing those panties down. The fingers lifted again only long enough to work up under the fox's rump.

The moment them squeezed his cheeks and drew them apart was when Alisha finally allowed himself to relax a little. Bruce's spent seed drooled out of his stretched - though not well-taken - tailhole, and it slickened Darnell's fingers as the wolf moaned into the kiss. It broke a moment later as Alisha's legs wrapped around his midsection, leaving him to pant warmly against the fox's face. "And poor thing, he wasn't all that good to you, was he?"

Alisha shook his head as he felt himself tugged along the counter and toward the bulge in the wolf's pants. "He didn't have to be, did he?" Alisha asked, grinning as he let his own paws wander down toward the lupine's pants. They quickly unbuttoned and unzipped them, and practiced fingers swiftly pulled the musk-laden length of Darnell's malehood out into the open air. "He was just to prep me for this thing..."

Darnell's shivers only amplified Alisha's want. Not as long as Bruce, the wolf's cock was nonetheless considerably thicker. A black pillar of flesh in every sense of the phrase, it pulsed hard in Alisha's grip as he squeezed gently. "Aww, poor pent up puppy... Don't you worry. I got a wet, cummy hole just waiting for you."

"You always know just what to do, don't you?" If Alisha didn't know better, he might have mistaken the smile on Darnell's face for a snarl as he humped up between the fox's delicate little fingers. He allowed himself to be led up toward that sticky rump, his whole body tingling when his tip slid in against that stretched entrance. Then a fat drop of horse cum drooled out over that hot tip, and the wolf's moan just about shook the walls. If anyone outside the restroom had thought it was being used for its normal function, they were enlightened in that moment.

"He was terrible, you know," Alisha moaned out, as he leaned in against Darnell's neck. The thick black lupine shaft pressed forward, lubed only by the dollop of horse cum that spilled out over it. "Made... ahhhn... made me suck him for a little bit... got him wet enough to take... Ooohhn... mmm, then just pumped away until he filled me up."

The words were enough to get Darnell going in earnest. Even without the benefit of any lube, the combination of a stretched fox, a tailhole slick with one load of cum and Alisha's tale driving him crazy was enough. He bucked forward as he squeezed Alisha tight, the smaller fox clutched close to his chest as the first few inches of thick cock sank into him. "He didn't deserve that ass, you know."

Alisha just shook his head as he allowed Darnell to early work up deeper and deeper inside him. "But he's already claimed me," the fox protested, just the way he knew Darnell wanted him too. He squirmed down harder against that invading shaft, almost thankful for Bruce having him loosened up for the wolf. "I'm so full, master Willever... he's already bred me."

And that was Darnell's weakness. A cummy hole, already stretched and taken and claimed and slick with the seed of another male. That's what he wanted. The slinky, slutty vixen look only amplified it, playing off his enjoyment of his own massive equipment. Big cock in small body, enough to stretch even Alisha's talented backside out further and further as he forced in one inch after another. "I can fix that," he grunted, as another inch vanished deep inside.

Alisha's own cock twitched and pulsed hard with his own want as more and more of the wolf crammed up inside him. "H-how?" he asked, as his fingers tightened on Darnell's shoulder. "It's... he already did...nnf... so full already... you felt him leaking out all over your cock..."

The remainder of Darnell's cock vanished into Alisha in one body-rocking thrust that made the fox squeak with pleasure and strain. The stink of aroused horse and fox and wolf began to fill the bathroom as Darnell ground against that completely stuffed backside. "That's okay, my dear," he whispered down into Alisha's ear. "I can fill you with something much better."

It didn't hurt Alisha any that he already was. Bruce had just shoved himself in and fucked him as hard as he could. There was no passion or desire or need underlying it. There was no tease or payoff waiting afterward. There was no thrill in making the fox's mark need him. He was just a dick he had to slide into himself. Means to an end.

He was nothing at all like Darnell, as the wolf began to rock slowly up into his body. Darnell's fingertips trembled as they gripped at Alisha's side. His breathing was broken by occasional gasps. The fox could feel every vein, every single pulse of that thick cock as it split his backside wide open. It took everything in Alisha not to spread his legs out wider still, in an attempt to take the hilted wolf even deeper. Darnell had a big dick but, unlike Bruce, the wolf knew how to use it.

The tip of Alisha's shaft pushed itself free of his panties as Darnell began to buck himself lightly up against the fox's rump. Pre leaked down from it, drooling out over the frilly fabric as he tried to pull himself down a little harder against the wolf's hips. The angle was just perfect; every slow back and forth motion Darnell made ground his shaft along the fox's prostate and sent pleasure shivering up his spine.

It didn't take long for Alisha to begin to buck himself down harder against Darnell's slow, even thrusts. Under ordinary circumstances, his marks preferred to take the lead. Alisha would let them, continuing the illusion of their control even while he plotted to make best use of them and their resources. But with Darnell, the control was shared. There was a payoff, yes, but it came with a great lay at the same time. "Hnn... h-he bred me deep," the fox moaned as he clenched down tight around that lupine shaft spreading him open wide.

"Then I've just gotta breed you deeper," growled Darnell. His hips increased their pace instantly, leaving him to slap against Alisha's backside with every thrust. He grinned as Alisha began to moan in earnest beneath him, and the fox squirmed down harder into him. "That's what you want, isn't it, my dear?"

A hurried nod was all Alisha could handle for a moment, his muzzle far too busy taking in the air for another soft moan. He buried his face in Darnell's neck to muffle himself, before he lifted his head again. "There's so much... so much in me..."

"I've got more," Darnell whispered back, even as his hips pumped faster and harder. The wolf had to have been as pent up as Alisha was, the way he was pounding away. Every thrust worked the fox's body up along the counter, and every withdrawl led Alisha to grind back down until it slipped in almost to the hilt again.

It would have been to the hilt, if not for that rapidly swelling bulb of flesh at the base of the wolf's shaft. The knot was something out of a size queen's wet dream, something Alisha knew all too well he could only barely take. "Gonna breed you good, dear... you want that? Big load filling you up... big load spilling out that... aah-haah... that stretched hole of yours?"

"Yes!" Alisha hissed back, and his enthusiasm was only half for the wolf's benefit. His own untended shaft throbbed heavily in its lacy prison, spilling his thickening pre all over his belly, his balls and his dress. With his own eagerness, that knot wasn't about to be a problem. He bucked down harder against it, feeling his already well-abused hole stretching out in an attempt to accommodate its attempts to ram into him. "Yes, please! Please give it to me! Fill me up!"

It all came faster than Alisha had expected. Darnell didn't increase the pace of his thrusts at all. Every motion was measured and calculated, deliberate and planned. That was what drove him wild about the wolf. Even when he took his pleasure from the little femmy fox slut, he gave back just as much in return. His hips didn't slow and, even as his swollen knot popped into that stretched tailring and his thick cock surged with hot cum, he continued to work himself hungrily against Alisha's prostate.

It was rare for Alisha to blow his own load with a mark. Most of the time, he needed to maintain the image of femininity to the nth degree. If it broke, so too did his hope of extracting what he wanted from his mark. But Darnell was the type of male to need his partner to blow. He needed to see what his lusts had wrought. And as Alisha's body twitched and trembled around Darnell's knotted shaft in a rare display of a shared orgasm, he milked the wolf's malehood for everything it had.

There was no room inside him for it all, of course. Not with so much space being taken up by that sawing pole of flesh Darnell called a cock, and how much cum still left inside him from Bruce. Each thick spurt of lupine seed sent a rush of equine cum back out around the knot meant to stop it up, soaking the countertop, the dress the panties, the suit pants and the floor. The obscene display carried on as Alisha unloaded across his front and Darnell's, adding to the already exorbitant dry cleaning bill.

Bodies clutched tight at one another as they rode out their respective climaxes. They trembled and shuddered as each milked the other as dry as they could and, moments later, the pair found themselves grinning stupidly at each other. Both panted for breath for a second before muzzles met again for a couple seconds with equal need. "More full now," Alisha mumbled as Darnell released his mouth to the open air again.

"Mmm... all wolf in you now," he added, as he ground himself firmly against that drenched backside. "No more disappointing horse for you, my dear... now you've been properly bred, and-"

He broke off and both males turned to the door as it swing slowly inward. The poor otter who'd been tending their table froze when he saw the pair against and on the counter, each soaked in the other's loads. He blinked stupidly for a moment as he tried to find the right words for the situation. Eventually he settled on, "Y-your wine is ready, sirs..."

The bulge in his pants didn't go unnoticed by either Alisha or Darnell, and both shared a cheeky little grin. "Timothy, right?" he asked.

When the otter gave a timid little nod, Darnell's smile broadened considerably. The bulge in his pants had only begun to grow. "Tell you what, Timothy. Grab the out of order signs, and fix this door up. Then come back in here." His grin turned toothy. "Boss' orders."

There was no way to miss the longing in the otter's eyes as he glanced between the pair at Darnell's knotted shaft, and he nodded once before he dashed out of the bathroom again. "It's gonna be bad for the diners tonight, not being able to use the bathroom," Alisha pointed out, as he ground himself against that still-firm knot. Cum-slippery muscles worked around it as the wolf above him groaned. "Might not be so good for business."

"It's my restaurant, so too bad for them," Darnell countered as he squeezed Alisha tight. His grin remained stuck on his face as he tugged lightly with his hips, leaving the smaller fox to yip as that knot pulled at his tailring. "What can I say? I had to go to the bathroom."

With a nod of his own, Alisha leaned forward and against the wolf to hide his grin. The most acclaimed restaurant on that side of the country, and its owner was balls-deep in him. The prospect of what he could get out of Darnell, while tantalizing, were completely secondary at that particular moment. Of considerably more interest was the shiraz no doubt left on their table, growing warmer by the minute.

And with the promise of Timothy returning any moment, that wine was going to be far from cold by the time they got to it.

Listen to Too Funky by George Michael with this Grooveshark link!

Too Funky lyrics

Hey, you're just too funky for me. I gotta get inside of you, And I'll show you heaven if you let me. Hey, you're just too funky for me. I gotta get inside,

(I gotta get inside) I gotta get inside of you.

(So when will that be?)

I watch your fingers working overtime,

(Overtime) I got to thinking that they should be mine.

(Oh!) I'd love to see you naked baby. I'd like to think that sometime maybe, Tonight, if that's all right,

Yeah!

Hey, you're just too funky for me. I gotta get inside of you,

(Won't let you go) I won't let you, no-no. Hey, you're just too funky for me. I gotta get inside,

(I gotta get inside) I gotta get inside of you.

(I'll let you love me) I watch you drinkin' and I take my time.

(Take my time) I watch you sinkin' all that cheap red wine.

(Oh!) I've got to see you naked baby. I'd like to think that sometime maybe,

Tonight, my goal's in sight,

Yeah!

Baby, baby, baby why do you do this to me? Won't let you go,

(Won't let you go) You're such a, you're such a, Baby, baby, baby why do you do this to me? I've got to know.

(I've got to know)

(I'm gonna be the kind of lover that you never had) Hey, you're just too funky. (You're never gonna have another lover in your bed) You're just too funky for me.

(Would you like me to seduce you?

Is that what you're trying to tell me?)

(Everybody wants a lover like that)

Baby, (Everybody wants a lover like that)

Yeah, yeah! (Everybody wants a lover like that)

Everybody, everybody. (Everybody wants a lover like that)

(Everybody wants a lover, everybody wants a lover like that Everybody wants a lover, everybody wants a lover like that Everybody wants a lover, everybody wants a lover like that Everybody wants a lover, everybody wants a lover like that)

(Would you like me to seduce you?) You're such a, you're such a, (Would you like me to seduce you?)

Yeah, yeah! (Would you like me to seduce you?)

You're such a, you're such a, Yeah, yeah!