Rein and Sunrise
Rein and Sunrise
by Ephemeral_Dreams
Yet another tick on the wall, merely a scratch.
Much like what I am, to this world.
Yet another click of the hammer, barely a catch.
Must I be here as I am, to my life so whorled.
Countless days pass, every morning without purpose
Trying to make a reason, a justification to be alive.
Suppressed ray through the glass, every mourning without remorse
Crying to aches of another season, a realization to shrive.
Admitting my sins, big and small, conscious and unconscious.
Reliving my past, every painful day after another.
Staring at the huge scar, invisible on my heart.
Glaring at the large star, ever visible in the night chart.
Holding the bleeding wound, staring at the rivulets between my fingers.
Bandages just a step away, unable to use it for one reason or another.
I've wasted away many hours, trying to think of a reason.
A cause for my Ironic disability, vying to find reason.
One anchor and one alone, holds me here.
A steadfast presence that's held my reins back, kept me from washing away into the sea.
As tumultuous as the cruel, unforgiving ocean oft became.
None other has been there as he.
Tis my chagrin that I happen to desire the thing I cannot have.
Never in my life have I wanted anything more, even death.
But alas it wouldn't be, even as I try to tell myself, time may change.
I wouldn't deserve it even if he'd changed.
I would fail it, like everything else I have.
Yet another sun rises, welcoming me to my birthday, a date that never meant much.
It passed without celebration or acknowledgement, for I have none to receive.
It's fortunate that I have not the experience of such things, else I'd be hurt.
I used to despise the weak, the claims of pain reminding that they were alive.
I used to spite the meek, the reins of the unmotivated that they needed a master.
Only to cold frigid winter air to warm my burning heart, useless.
Only if it'd freeze my poisonous thoughts, hopeless.
I lie awake, wasting my times alive, waiting.
Waiting for a love and master to take the reins and steer me into the sunrise.
Even as I hold the reins.
Something I wrote..after compiling my feelings for a while, after days of "mm..i sohuld write," and
very, very weird dreams. ( I usually dream about 10 tiems a year, so it does hold some significance.)
Comments are appreciated. :)
Above is Copyrighted to me. Do not distribute, vend, or use in any regard without my express permission. (c)
P.S: I'm seeking a writer of sorts to do something of a collab with. I'd like it to be a long series, at least 10+ chapters with serious plot and development going on. I've got the outline in mind. I'm good at details and creativity as long as they're not...interactions, per se. If you're interested, shoot me a note and I'll check out your works! :D