Mewthree's Christmas Carol - Alcohol
#6 of Mew's Christmas Carol
Christmas has come once more, but the people and Pokémon of this modern age have forgotten what it's all about! The misfitting duo of Mew and Mewtwo decide to bring back the old traditions and enforce their very own brand of Christmas spirit... For better or worse!
In a different region, quite far to the west
A large group of Pokémon were having a zest
Having temporarily changed itself into more of a cabaret
Stood the otherwise humble and homely Ledian's Café
"Merry *HIC* New Year!" shouted the inebriated host
As she held up four glasses at once, scoring another toast
A few of her guests stood up and gave a standing ovation
For they knew the Ledian had much cause for celebration
The Ledian and her business had been noticed by a man
Of the movie Timegate Traveler, he was a big fan
He wanted to film a sequel, and could not deny
That it would be so much better without all the CGI!
She was to be the main villain, ruling a world of plight
Where Pokémon were in charge, using humans to fight
Head swirling with fame, free advertisement and such
It seems the Ledian had ended up drinking a bit too much
An Armaldo was sitting in the back, large and quiet
Solemnly watching as everyone else was having a riot
While everyone but him had gotten drunk and merry
He had settled for the good ol' brew of Lum Berry
Even though he had rejected the contents of the bar
He could not help but stare at his love and soon-to-be star
If the Ledian really were to leave him behind and embrace her duty
This might be the last time he ever got to gaze upon her beauty
The cheerful night continued as they drank and sang
But all stopped as the door suddenly flew open with a bang
The Pokémon turned their heads, many flinching in fright
For at the entrance stood Mewtwo in all his pride and might
"Alcohol?" Mewtwo said, "Weakening your senses, letting your mind be bereft..."
"With simpletons like you, surely there would be nothing left,"
"I shall now exert mercy and do you unworthy a favor,"
"By replacing these drinks with a far more fitting flavor!"
In an instant, all the mugs in the house began to froth
Until their appearance and consistency turned into that of broth
A Croagunk took a sip, but could not keep it stealthy
"What the... This tastes dull, stale and way too healthy!"
"Hey, now!" the Ledian quickly burst out, "Why'd ya do that!?"
"You tryin' to put me outta business, you arrogant lil' brat!?"
Vision blurred, she could not determine the Pokémon's real age
As Mewtwo glared down at her with insurmountable rage
"I am a LEGENDARY," Mewtwo snarled, keeping his killing urges at bay
While the still sober in the café tried their best to pull the Ledian away
"I've thrown out legendaries before!" she snarled back, thinking of Pikablu
"I'll give you ten seconds to skedaddle, then I'mma do it to you too!"
Realizing that this was neither worth the effort nor time
Mewtwo left the café, not paying even a single dime
The Armaldo stared as the Ledian shouted until he was out of view
Feeling very happy to still be having his Lum Berry brew