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Chapter 1 - My Boring Life

Have you ever had that feeling that life isn't how you thought it'd turn out? Like... every day you're entering a maze and trying to reach the end. Only, you keep taking the same paths because if you choose anything different it always seems to lead to a dead end. Recently, the feeling's gotten stronger. It's like I'm living a stranger's life. I go through my normal routine: wake up, shower, eat, work, relax then sleep. Most days it feels like everything is preplanned for me. Like I don't get a say in what I want to do, because if I do then you can bet my parents, my boss or someone else will tell me that it's not becoming or that I could do so much better than that.

I must believe it because I keep going through the same routine day in, day out. I may complain about it, but I don't bother to get up and do anything. Funnily enough... I must not be the only one that believes it because there's millions of other people all over the world that go through the exact same pattern that I do.

Well... at least that means I'm not alone in my endeavors... but it sure does feel that way a lot of time. But if my life has been so boring thus far, doesn't that mean I'm a little overdue for something exciting?

***

I find myself standing in the center of a dark room. There are torches lining the walls that cast a dull lighting. Looking around, I can see dimly lit figures with red hoods over their heads. All of them seem to be sitting on their knees, their heads bowed. They seem to be chanting something but I can't make out the words. Their voices so low, it sounds like an endless sea of whispers. "Hey! Where am I?" I ask aloud.

It's as if my words caught them off guard since they all stop chanting at once. Some of them keep their bowed position, while others look up suddenly, starting right at me. Their eyes cast an eerie glow, like some wild animal staring at its prey. It's then that I realize the faces staring back at me look very reptilian. I spin in place only to notice that every one looking at me has a lizard's face. One of them stands up and begins to walk slowly towards me. "Tel-Jilal, you have returned to ussss."

"Returned?" I don't ever remember being here before. "Where am I? Who are you?" I take a step back from the lizard, not sure what's going on.

He keeps moving towards me until he's a couple of arm's lengths away. "It is I, Valgas of the Saur. We have summoned you to the Forgotten Catacombsss. For we have need of your power."

"My power?" Surely he must be joking. If I had power over anything, I'm sure I'd have been the first to know. I begin to wonder where this dream is leading. It certainly seems real, but that's how dreams get you. And then you wake up and if you're lucky you remember parts of it, but never the whole thing. "I think you have the wrong person."

Valgas edges closer, looking straight into my eyes. I'm not sure what he's doing, but the look he's giving me sends a chill down my spine. "Do you not remember?"

I pause for a moment, not sure what to say. All I can do is laugh. "This is one heck of a crazy dream."

Even though he's a giant lizard, I haphazard a guess that he face Valgas makes is one of perplexity. "You think this is a dream?" He seems lost in thought for a moment. "Yesss, that must explain it. Tel-Jilal, this is no dream. Of that I can assure you."

"Well, there's a really easy way to figure out if you're right. You see, all I have to do is pi-" I lifted my right hand to pinch myself only to notice that it's gone. It's rather weird, seeing nothing but air where your hand should be. The weirder thing is that I can visibly see the rest of my arm starting to disappear, starting from my wrist all the way up. "Now there's a Catch-22."

The lizard quickly turns towards his companions. "He's unraveling! We must reinvoke him!" The lizards began their chant anew. Valgas turned back to me, he seemed... concerned. That's the reaction I'd give him. I look down at myself and notice that most of my body has disappeared. I'm just a floating torso. It's a rather odd sensation. I guess this means my dream is about to end. That always seems to happen when you die in your dreams. "You are not allowed to abandon us again, Tel-Jilal!"

"I keep telling you. You've got the wrong guy. My name is-"

***

"Kain! Is that report done?" says Reggie, my boss. This snaps me out of my dream. He's standing right behind me as he lays his hand on my shoulder which tenses up out of reaction. Crap! I knew I was forgetting something last night, besides getting to bed on time.

I turn in my chair to address him directly. "Not yet. I've almost wrapped it up, but I should have it done soon," I lie. I'm only about half-way through with it. I've been procrastinating on this report all week. Nothing like a boring trend analysis to work up my motivation.

Reggie always has a smile plastered on his face. On this occasion, I'd say he started off with a 70% smile and that my response lowered it to a 50% smile. "Well, I have a meeting in two days and I'm going to be needing to present that to the heads of the company. See that it gets done tonight or tomorrow you may find yourself without a chair until it gets finished." He laughs, probably imagining how it would look seeing me working at a chairless cubicle. Something in the back of my mind makes me think he just might do it.

I laugh with him, more to offset any awkwardness that might reveal itself. "Sure thing. I'll have it on your desk tomorrow morning. I do tend to enjoy my designated parking spot." I sigh inwardly, because now I've given myself a deadline. And then I die a little on the inside because I made a terrible joke. I laugh it off anyways, because my boss seems to enjoy bad jokes.

He claps me on the shoulder again, "Good man. There may be hope for you yet." I'd say I redeemed myself; 70% smile. Reggie laughs, then walks off, leaving me to either get back on that report or figure out which male celebrity just became single. I'll let you figure out which one I choose.

***

I find myself at home, trudging through that boring report. For being such an important thing in life, money can be so damned boring of a subject to constantly write reports over. Especially when it's not my money. Why couldn't humanity have chosen something better to be driven by? Maybe the betterment of mankind is too lofty of a goal.

I spend the next few hours with a calculator in hand, a spreadsheet on my monitor and a stack of papers with number all over it that might pass for graffiti in some cultures. I help pass the time by texting Nathan, an old bud of mine. He was always good for a laugh. After a while of this back and forth, I find myself dozing.

Damn it! I'm only 85% through. Well... on the bright side, if I do the invisible chair posture tomorrow then that'll be a great workout. But who am I kidding? It's not like I work out anyways.

Maybe if I wake up early then I can get that done and still manage to stay on my boss's good side for the day. Yeah! That should work. I go set my alarm to wake me up a couple hours earlier than usual. That should be plenty of time to finish up. Unfortunately, I'm gonna be damned tired tomorrow.

I yawn, prepare for bed and don my pajamas as I settle under the warm covers. All the weight from today begins its daily trek as it seeps into my mattress. My mind becomes much lighter and begins to float in a dream. I have a wonderful adventure where I'm exploring the depths of a cavern. I know it's dangerous, but that's why it's fun. Every so often I find a batch of slippery rocks and find myself falling, but I always manage to get back up and keep moving onward. I eventually see a glimmer of light and know I've found the exit to the other side. My heart begins to race as my pace quickens. A few more steps and I've made it outside. It's so bright that I have to close my eyes so I can let them adjust.

When I open them again, I see that the light is coming in through the window. I shut them again because I really want to see what's on the other side of the cave. It's dark again. I can't see anything. It takes me a moment before I realize I can't see anything because I'm staring at the back of my eyelids. Regardless, I keep my eyes closed, not wanting to wake up just yet. Maybe if I can get back to sleep for just a little longer, then I can see what's on the other side of that cave.

I pull the sheets over my head and reposition myself in bed. The warmth feels so nice. I can even feel my fuzzy pillow resting up against my back. I lean back against it, feeling it firmly against me. My pillow drapes itself over my side and begins to rub at my belly. It feels really nice, until I realize pillows aren't supposed to do that.

I quickly grab the object in one hand. It feels like an arm. A very furry arm. It tries to tighten its grip on me but I'm not letting some robber waltz into my room taking me unawares. I squirm out from under the perpetrator's arm and rocket out from the sheets.

The first thing I notice is the wall. Kind of hard not to as I jump right into it. I console my head with my hand. This is not the type of headache I imagined I'd wake up to. I didn't even have time to figure out why I had a wall there before turning around and finding my sense of reality skewed.

Right in front of me, next to the bed stood a white-furred, two-legged and very naked, male rabbit. Only... the strange thing was that this rabbit was almost as tall as me... assuming you didn't count the ears. Wait, this doesn't make any sense. I close my eyes tight in an attempt to allow reality to readjust. When I open them again, the rabbit hasn't gone anywhere. It's still standing there, staring at me.

I guess this is my punishment for staying up too late. Oh wait, my report. This is my brain's way of telling me I need to finish that report! "My rabbort!" Wait, that made no sense at all. Then again, neither is what I hear in response.

"You're back!"