Doggie Do's and Doggie Dont's. Chapter Two.
Doggie Do's and Doggie Dont's Chapter Two By Roofles
Axon had the top half of a suit on. The bottom half of baggy swim trunks he had used when he went to beach last summer. A long stocking ran up one of his fuzzy legs making it itch horribly. Swapping a vestment to a sweater, to a rain coat he looked himself over in the dresser mirror. The dog wanted to just howl. He tossed the cloths aside loftily, dropped onto his rear and pulled off the stockings for an outfit he didn't even know why he had. Possibly an old halloween costume. He didn't even know what outfit it belonged too! "WHY ARE YOU MOCKING ME?" He sobbed holding it to his face.
Axon took the black sock off his face and opening his muzzle grabbed onto it,chewing it nervously as he mulled things over, biting the tip of his thumb as he did so. Nothing was going right and it was beginning to drive him insane! Axon's fist clenched and release several times as he worried over the night he had so depserately been trying to plan over for the past several days. The fabric in his muzzle did help his nerves he had to admit, chewed on it like a slim jim, pulling it down with one paw as he did so. Stretching it out, grinding his teeth on it, using it as flosh and with in the next few minutes tore it to shreds.
"Damn." He grimaced looking at the lacerated particles of the sock. It looked like someone butchered a small man in a tuxedo. "I loose more socks that way." The saint bernard frowned mumbling to himself. He picked up a piece and began chewing on it as if it were a piece of jerky standing back up to try on another mismatched outfit.
Axon fur stood on end as the door bell rang. His breath quickened and so startled by it he even swallowed the piece of fabric in his mouth. Not really caring though he jumped to his feet running around the room depserately trying to get something or other on. That was still sexy but not misleading but would make someone want to be like "oh baby yeah now fuck me like the bitch I am." Or thats what Axon was going and hoping for.
Grabbing yesterdays pants he slipped them on not even zipping or buttoning them up as he made his way to the door. "Come in-," he said opening his arms wide. Until he saw who it was. And slammed the door in their face. "Annoying pests." He grumbled stomping into the back stripping the pants off once more.
Jamie caught the door as it slammed in his furry, whiskered face. The border collie wasn't suprised by the action but feign hurt as he walked in on bare paws.
"Axon why would you do something so cruel to such a dear friend?" He asked as the saint bernard flipped him off before going into his room. "I mean we've been through so much together!" The dog called down, half cupping a black gloved paw around his muzzle to amplify his voice down the hall. His other paw, a white gloved one, snatched an apple from the fruit bowl and took a large bite.
Jamie's eyes widened as he ducked into the kitchen next to the front door and barfed the sour apple out. He wiped his tongue quickly several times with both paws shaking his head afterwards as his cheeks sucked in as that sour taste filled his mouth. He left the discarded apple on the counter and began rifling through the cabinets for anything else to snack on.
"You didn't answer your phone." The border collie's floppy ears jumped up and his black tail wagged as he spied a box of actual doggie treats in the back, hidden behind several containers of canned dog food. "So are we still on for the night?"
Axon's eyes widened as he caught the last thing Jamie said. A paw soon smacked the top of his head as he groaned, rolling his neck back. "Shit," he muttered forgetting all about inviting Jamie over. He knew the concept of watching the Lord of the Rings together wasn't just from out of the blue. Well kind of was in the situation at hand. Nothing else had come to mind so he grabbed onto whatever he could with both paws. Forgetting completely that he had already made prior engagements with the dog that he was sure was now eating all his food.
True enough as Jamie poked his head around the corner a box of doggie treats were in one paw with a biscuit being shoved into his muzzle with the other hald dozen, half chewed ones. He munched away with a quizzical expression his powder blue eyes drifting around the room slowly. "You know this isn't a date, right?" The dog asked turning back towards him still munching with his muzzle partially opened.
Axon groaned louder as he face planted the dresser in front of him resting his forehead on the cool surface; a surface he could barely feel through his fur. "I know." He grumbled but his thoughts were on what the collie had said, who was now looking through his closet for anything to borrow and never return.
The saint bernard opened one eye and sighed, pulling himself away from the dresser slowly. His body felt heavier as he sat on the edge of the bed. The top of the bed rose slightly as his weight sunk against the end. "Can we reschedual?" Axon asked not even looking at the dog trying on an oversized shirt of a full doggie bowl with a large bite taken out of both the bowl and food.
Jamie looked at himself in the mirror posing several times before taking it off and tossing it with the rest of the clothes piled on the bed. "Does this make me look fat? Or just you?" He asked sticking his tongue out at Axon, quickly jumping back with a giggle away from the paw swipe.
"I'm not fat. I'm fluffy." Axon stabbed his thumb down with a growl. Jamie rolled his eyes.
"You got a date tonight don't you? God you always do this to me!" The border collie whined pulled his ears down, doing an over dramatic spin and falling onto his back on the bed. "Why do you hurt me so?" He pouted reaching out for Axon who snatched his arm away from the pleading dogs fingers.
"It's not like that!" Axon said far gruffer than he meant. Jamie sat up a bit at the tone and looked at him; once more the dog wasn't offended by the remark, the tone or anything of it. Only curiosity filled him. "I'm just having...my sister over. And you know how much she hates you."
"Oh of course, of course." Jamie nodded not believing a word of it as he leaned closer.
"And the clothes?" Jamie asked about the common ritual the dog always seemed to under go before a date. There was an empty glass of tea in the sink, the bathroom he passed in the hall was cleaned for the first time in nearly a year. And the three hour long make over that followed after a lengthy shower using far too much product for any man to use. From bathing, brushing his fur, mouth wash, flossing, doing his nails, trying to fix the mess of hair on his head and finally picking out an outfit all of which could easily kill three hours.
"Wanted to look good." He grunted moving a shirt around with his foot. It was a few sizes to small for him. He picked it up with a paw and took a sniff of it shivering afterwards and laughing a bit giddily at the scent.
Jamie raised an eyebrow watching him. He offered a paw. "Dude if you got some stuff, share!"
Axon looked at him before stuffing the shirt into the one he was wearing; the corner of his muzzle lifted as he growled.
"Fine! Next time I get some green! Don't expect me to share any." Jamie said trying to act 'gansta' before turning, sticking his nose into the air and crossed his arms.
"Don't do bitch." Axon said standing up. He slipped the swim trunks off, not wearing anything underneath, and snatched a pair of the t-bone boxers. "It doesn't suit you."
Jamie watched as he slid them on. "And that suit doesn't suit you!" He said back smarily snaping his fingers side to side.
Axon looked at him. Adjusted himself. Looked at him. Adjusted himself. Then barked loudly making the smaller dog jump three inches into the air. Jamie landed on the bed again holding his heart before yipping loudly as the larger dog pounced on him.
The sound of the two dog's wrestling droned the door bell that buzzed several times. Only after Jamie managed to escape from under the larger dog did an ear perk up. The collie didn't say anything as he tackled the dog again. Axon didn't even budge as he turned towards the opened bedroom door. "Crap he..." he droned the word out looking at the other dog. "She's here! My sister. Yeah. Better leave out the window before-,"
"I'll get it." Jamie said jumping up and running down the hallway shirtless.
Axon followed behind but wasn't even half as fast as the other dog. Whom of which grabbed the door and ripped it open ignoring Axon pleads behind.
Tom was holding a grocery bag in one hand, a plastic bag in the other. Several different brand named chips were visible from the clear wrapping. "Oh, hey there." Tom said not even startled by the border collie who was panting at him. Looking over his shoulder he waved the hand carrying the plastic bag. "Hey Axon! I'm not interrupting, am I?"
"Not at all," Jamie cut Axon off. "And you would be?" Jamie asked leaning against the side wall. A frown slowly formed on the dog's face. His brow wrinkled up as. His eyebrows scrunched up and although he was thinking hard of something else, Tom was sure he was annoyed by his presence. Jamie was trying to recall if he had seen him from the Collar and Chain. Bone and Chain? Something with Chain's and bones and collars or something. There were so many dog bars with those names these days.
"Tom. Apartment 5-D." He pointed over his shoulder as if one could actually see it from where they stood. "Invited over. Movie night." He said the words a bit more slowly unsure if the dog could even understand him as it looked like he had just bit into a rather sour lemon.
"Oh, Tom!" Jamie said thinking of five different men. He remember none of their faces.
"He's my friend." Axon said walking down the hall, waving over the dog and shoving him out of the way with his other paw. "Sorry about him, he's an idiot."
"No worries." Tom laughed looking down at his boxers. "I...didn't interrupt something?" He asked again. "Or do you normally walk around, and to the laundry, in just in your boxers?" Tom asked not even hiding his laugh.
"He went to work once in his boxers." Jamie jumped in wagging his tail.
"Really?" Tom laughed covering his mouth as he did so trying not to laugh. A humble gesture that made Axon's tail wag. His ex was a dog full of himself that always had to be adding himself into any and every story.
"I was just about done with my deliveries when he calls me up and tells me I need to bring him a pair of pants!" Jamie laughed to hard hugging the wall.
"Haha," Tom joined in as Axon took the grocery bag from him utterly embarassed now.
The saint bernard sniffed the top of the bag several times as he peeked in; trying to act humble about his curiosity that was eating him up inside. So he jumped into the kitchen to help unload the bag to satisfy his own curiosity. He could hear the man asking about Jamie's job still standing in the doorway.
"I'm a delivery dog, you know... Those guys that wear the brown short shorts." He said drawing a line on his upper thigh.
"I do love a man in uniform." Tom laughed.
"Well if that's the case. Maybe one time I can take you on a delivery." Jamie said leaning in close making Axon quickly rejoin them, shoving the border collie out of the way.
"Come in, come in. Join us. Please. Ignore the other dog. Nothing to see there. He was just leaving." Axon added with a soft growl looking at the border collie getting back up.
"I was not!" Jamie protested. "TOM!" He whined. "Don't make him make me leave!"
"Well I don't mind if your boyfriend joins us." Tom said coming to the only rational conclusion his mind could come up with.
"Boyfriend?" Axon asked his jaw nearly dropping to the floor. "No, no, no, no, no!" He laughed at the very idea of it.
"Of course!" Jamie jumped on it like the leather bound golden retriever at the clubs last night. "Me and Axon go way back, don't we hunny." Axon looked at him with both confusion and disgust which only increased ten fold as the border collie kissed him square on the lips grabbing the side of his muzzle with both paws.
Tom smiled ignoring the saint bernard's waving arms for help as he slipped by the two and into the kitchen. "Do you mind if I get some bowls out for the chips?" He asked only getting a muffled cry for help in return. "Didn't want to just go through your cabinets without asking, heh."
Axon had to admit that the border collie had a vice like grip when it came to sucking face with another man. He stuck his paws under the other dogs arms and tickled him until he let go. The border collie fell to the ground kicking his legs and laughing like a school girl with tears in the corner of his eyes as Axon continued enjoying getting revenge on the dog.
"Do you want me to just bring these into the living room area?" Tom asked with two bowls in hands, two more resting one on each of his arms and a third much larger one on his head. Balancing each one Tom smiled at the two, making his way in as he got a nod from the saint bernard.
"Look here you little chew toy." Axon growled in his face wrapping a paw around the smaller dog's throat. Jamie looked at him as if he had lost his mind and got another dose of tickle torture in return. "Stop. Cock blocking me!" Axon growled again but the friendly undertone was there though he still wanted to strangle his friend. The dog laughing on the floor was just always a small pain in his ass and deserved every second of this.
"Hey now! Didn't know you liked him," Jamie breathed heavily nearly crying as he panted laugh. "Why does he thinks you got a boyfriend?" Jamie looked at him calming down. He accented the "you" part just to make sure the point got across. It only made Axon fill like shit however as he starred into the living room at the man setting things up. "Oh, Axon sweetie. Why do you do this to yourself?" Jamie asked putting a comforting paw on his arm. "And people think I'm the self destructive one...so he's single?" Jamie grinned. And got a large paw stepping on his chest in return as Axon headed in to join Tom.
"Here let me get that." Axon quickly interevened taking any chance he got to help out taking the plastic ring six case of soda.
Axon grabbed one of the cans of pop and tossed it over his shoulder catching it neatly, twirling it in one paw then the other. Faked drippling it on the floor before standing with both hind paws together and shot for the three pointer. Jamie walked in at the same time fumbling with the can before gripping it tightly.
"Thanks." The border collie stuck his tongue out popping the can open with a blunt claw and got a face full of pop in return.
The two laughed at the dogs expense as he stomped his way into the bathroom. Axon picked up the largest bowl filled with dorito chips and spun it around on his finger. It worked for a few seconds before spilling in every directly. He looked at Tom apologentically as he bent down quickly to clean up the mess.
"Here let me help out," Tom said already crouching down to pick up several of the chips.
"Just toss 'em back in the bowl. I'll eat 'em." Axon said and Tom thought he was joking as he laughed making the dog's ears fold back shamefully.
"Mmm floor chips, my favorite." Tom joked dropping a handful of the chips into the bowl sahking his hands afterwards, each finger covered in orange powder. Money well wasted, he thought licking a finger. Tom jumped at the tongue licking at his other hand. Axon grinned foolishly moving his head back a few times licking his chops.
Dog's were always far more expressive than humans. Axon's eyes had lit in excitement yet his ears folded back as if he had just been caught with a paw in the cookie jar. His ears jumped up, tucked down, splayed out before laying across the back of his head as he whined at his own mistake giving big old puppy dog eyes to reinforce his wordless apology.
Tom was about to head into the kitchen to refill the bowl when Axon swiped it from his hands and went in his place. "Least I can do," he laughed nervously quickly heading out of the room before he made an even bigger ass of himself in front of him.
The dog looked under the overhead cabinets to make sure Tom wasn't watching before placing the doritos in another bowl and stashing it into the fridge for later. He got fresh ones and brought them back out as Tom finished wiping his hands off. Tom took a seat on the couch taking his shoes off and holding them in one hand as he looked around the room unsure of where to put them.
"Where should I...?" He smiled uncertainly. Axon's tail wagged as he took them.
"I got it." And for some reason Axon found himself heading to his room. He dropped them near the door after sniffing them, shaking his head and gagging to himself. Why he did it. He'd never know but give him a strange, foreign object and the first thing he would do was take a big old sniff of it.
As he bent over he felt the pressure of the shirt tucked into the one he was wearing. And with a bit of regret placed it ontop of the shoes. He'd return it when he'd leave. Probably. The large dog licked his nose as he stood back up heading down the hall, shoving the border collie back into the bathroom as he came out with still slightly damp fur and rejoined Tom in front of the TV.
Axon took a seat next to him and wrapped an arm on the back of the couch and scooted a bit closer. Wanting nothing more than to drop that arm down behind the mans head and pull him close in a hug. Axon tongue poked out of the end of his muzzle a bit at the thought before quickly thinking of anything else as his boxers began to feel a lot less loose.
"So what are we watching?" Jamie asked clapping his paws together excitedly walking back in.
"Lord of the Rings." Tom said resting his head on the back cushion. Axon liked the feel of it against his arm.
"Yeah. We are." He said looking at Tom before turning to look at the other dog with a frown, his eyebrow slowly sinking over his eyes into a glare. "You were just leaving, weren't you? Plans with your sister if I recall."
"Oh, about that. I figured I could do that any time-," Jamie said waving it off.
"No. You couldn't." Axon said forcefully but held the bark back he wanted to give. Gritting his teeth he smiled keeping his voice even. "Todays the last day shes in town. You can't miss that."
"I can see her the next time she comes back." Jamie growled glaring back at him.
"No. You can't." Axon said standing up a bit and turning to face him with an equal growl matching the dogs. As Axon always thought all growls were equal, but some growls are more equal than others.
"I think I can." Jamie said with a paw on his hip and a paw out shaking a finger at him trying to be sassy. "She's my sister! I can see her whenever the hell I want!" He threw his paws up in the air for a more dramatic flair.
"So help me." Axon warned shaking a finger at him. One of his knees were on the couch, his body twisted towards the dog as he stood up slightly more with his other leg his groin nearly in Tom's face who was kind of sort of wishing he could be anywhere else at the moment.
"Fine. I'll go. But you owe me big time!" Jamie said pointing a finger at Tom before storming out slamming the door as he went; throwing a bitchy fit... Axon knew that he'd be texting him later about the guy he had hooked up with though within the hour.
Axon growled deepened before he sighed sitting back on the resting knee a bit more. "Sorry about that." The dog growled as he grumbled.
"No, its ok..." Tom said slowly blinking several times. "I don't mind when guys straddle my face." He joked a bit uneasily coughing as he tried to hide it.
Axon froze at the comment looking at him, still somewhat straddlign his waist. Then down at his crotch then back up at him. "Shit, sorry. I didn't - I mean - It's not like I..." Axon covered his face with both paws. "Shit." He muttered. This was not in the plan or in the books or anywhere except his wet dreams.
"Maybe I should just...go?" Tom said pointing over his shoulder as he got up a bit.
"No, no. Please don't." Axon whined softly looking up at him with the largest puppy dog eyes Tom had ever seen. It was if he had just asked if him if he wanted to go club baby seals together and as much as he wanted too those eyes were far too hypnotic to look away from. A paw raised up as those eyes bore into his very soul until Tom gave in and took a seat.
"Ok, ok...but maybe you should call him just to make sure everything ok." Tom didn't want to interfere in someone elses relationship. Again...
"I will." Axon said as he cheered up tail wagging. "So. Movies?" He didn't wait for a response as he jumped up, over the table clumsily almost falling over and pressing the play button. Axon looked back at him with a grin, frowning once he spied the remote Tom was waving a him. So the dog lumbered back over with hunched shoulders taking a seat. And with that twelve hours of Lord of the Rings began, directors cut.
The distance between the two had increased since Jamie left; much to Axon's chagrin and disappointment. The uneasy tension had set in over the two and Axon hoped that if he did call the other dog things would smooth over nicely. So with a quick "don't mind me," he waved the phone to gesture what he was doing before bolting to his room.
"Y'ello?" Jamie answered only getting a slow deep growl in return. "Oh! Axon dear, how's it going? Your not cheating on me are you." He laughed and the growl only deepened.
"So help me if this ends up cock blocking me tonight." The saint bernard could feel his fur rise up on his back. It made the suit he was still wearing uncomfortable so he began unbuttoning it.
"What are you talking about?" Jamie laughed over the music of the bar around him. He ran a paw down a beagles chest with a wink and licked at the air in front of them.
"You know very well what I'm talking about." Axon growled stripping the shirt off and tossing it with the rest. He looked at himself in the mirror. A giant puff ball of orange and black spots on white fur. He flexed trying to look intimadating. The posed trying to look sexy.
"Haha, just tell him the truth already. I was just having a little fun. " Jamie said to Axon and the dalmation walking by. "I'd let you hose me down big boy." Axon was sure Jamie wasn't talking to him now so he hung the phone up and tossed it on the bed not about to let it ruin any more of his night.
Axon continued to stare at his reflex. "Fluffy, not fat." He muttered jiggling his gut. He did a couple of jumping jacks, a push up and half a sit up before - slightly panting - coming back to rejoin the man waiting for him in his living room.
"He's perfectly fine." The dog said walking back into the room without his shirt on finding it far too stifling. "Just being a pain in my ass again." Axon jumped over the couch nearly tipping the whole thing over as he did so. Tom gripped the side as the couch hit the floor again. "He's not my boyfriend." Axon stated still annoyed over the whole situation.
"Oh?" Tom asked still startled about almost falling backwards with the couch. The man gripped the side afraid it was still about to tip over again as he looked at the dog.
"Just a dumb ass friend stealing my food." Axon grumbled kicking a leg up on the side of the couch and resting acrossed the back easily taking up two spaces worth of spots. He was almost resting against Tom but had propped himself up on one arm.
"I got a ton of those." Tom lied with a shrug. "I hope you don't expect me to take my cloths off." He joked looking at the nearly naked dog who was scratching himself as he watched the movie.
Axon looked at him before down at himself. He barked with a laugh. "Sorry. It just feels more natural like this." He gestured down at himself smugly. "It gets fricking hot as all hell too covered in this stuff." He added pulling at some fur on his chest and shaking his head. "Pain. In. The. Ass."
"I think it'd be nice to be all warm and cosy all the time." Tom shrugged kicking both legs up on the chairs cushion. "Be your own teddy bear." Tom mused aloud sinking further against the couch as he scooted down.
"I can be my own best friend too." Axon laughed, rolling over onto his back and sliding down the side of the couch. His head was only a hair's breath away from Tom's thigh. He could actually tip his muzzle upwards and have his nose in his crotch. Axon grabbed the decorative pillow, laying it over his lap at the thought.
Half the movie passed before either actual spoke more than witty remarks about furry feet, slutty elves and soldier's offering their swords to hobbits.
Axon rubbed his rear against the couch, closing his eyes and moved his muzzle upwards a bit. "You have a nice smell." He breathed having thought only of it for the past ten minutes.
Tom laughed a bit. "You saying I smell?" Tom looked down at the dog that had, if possibly, moved closer.
"Well, yeah!" Axon ears perked up as he opened his eyes to look at him. His tail thumped against the couch before he saw the look on Tom's face. "Well I mean we all do. Smell that is. Your's is just nice, is all." The dog mentally was kicking himself for saying something so weird. Well it wasn't exactly strange for dogs...or most furs for that matter to comment on a scent or smell. Humans were the only ones that seemed to want to mask and hide theirs.
"So I smell. But in a good way?" Tom laughed. His hand slipped underneath the dogs chin and began scratching the thinner fur underneath his muzzle. It was soft though, and his fingers touched the bit of loose baggy skin of his neck that all dogs seemed to have.
"Well yes. I mean no." Axon said his mind going foggy as his leg kicked out.
"So you don't like my smell." Tom teased scratchng down his neck to his chest.
"No. I mean yes. I love it. But that's not what I meant." Axon whined closing his eyes and leaning back more nuzzling at his leg now loving the scratches but hating the conversation.
Tom laughed. "Ok I'll stop teasing you." He pulled his hand back.
"Pet me!" Axon growled but it came out more of a whine, again nuzzling his head harder against Tom's leg. "Don't stop." He whined softly licking at his fingers once more. So Tom continued and by the second movie the dog had his full head in his lap as his chest and stomach were scratched. All four paws were sticking straight up as he lounged in his lap with closed eyes, slightly open muzzle and a tongue drooling out from the side.
By the third movie Axon was fast asleep. The large lug was almost impossible to budge but thankfully Tom, who had taken a rather long nap that day in order to do this, managed switching discs thanks to the handy dandy triple slotted tray they rested in. The sounds of an old school juke box could be heard in the now silent dark room as the tray spun switching the disc to the next one.
Tom scratched the dog's stomach unable to feel his own legs with the half body resting over them. Axon's hand drooled over the edge, his leg twitching every now and then to dream he was having.
A soft whine escaped the dog as his face twitched a bit. "No...turn the vaccuum off..." The movie started illuminated the face partially in Tom's lap. He smiled scratched the side of the furry muzzle, down underneath at the gobble of loose fuzzy skin. A thumb stroked the side of the dog's face who calmed down the second his fingers touched him.
Half way through the third movie Tom was asleep. And by the end of it he had the full couch to himself.
Axon shut the bathroom door behind him slowly biting his lip the whole time. He dropped his boxers not even bothering to hold them as he finally used the fire hydrant. Axon had been holding it since he had woken up. A loud groan of pleasure escaped him. He put a paw in front of him on the wall for support as he closed his eyes.
"Twelve hours." He groaned shaking his head. "For twelve hours!" He said looking at his reflection in the cabinet mirror next to him. "Tweleve hours?" Axon laughed shaking himself dry before washing his hands, using a hind paw to flush.
He tip toed back into the living room and tried to be as quiet as he could be. He knocked over a picture frame and barely caught it as he bumped into the table almost knocking the lamp off. Axon laid the picture down on the table scooting the lamp back as he walked backwards into the living room.
Tom had laid out across half of the couch with a leg up on the end snoozing away. Axon reached a paw out stopping just before his face.
"What am I doing?" He muttered sitting down on his knees. He rested his head on the edge of the couch and watched the man sleep with sad doe eyes.
Axon's slowly moved forward as the end credits began to play. His nose sniffing at Tom's hair. Lavender with just a hint of honey sickle. Axon loved it. It was soft and he could still smell the particles of water on it from the shower he must've had before coming over.
Resting half on, half off the couch Axon watched the man sleep for a couple of more minutes before joining him in a happy dream of sticks and balls.