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Malak awoke to soft, smooth breathing on his neck. He wiped at his eyes and yawned, still half-asleep; Randal's arm was around his body, and his long rudder tail had wrapped around his leg at some point during the night. This warmth from having someone sleep next to him was so much different than anything else he had ever felt - time had made him forget all the other times this may have happened.

Randal shifted in his sleep and nuzzled further into Malak's fur. The wolf found this so strange, this... thing called love. He once had full control of it in the past, but that was a long time ago. He had forgotten how everything felt, how it was so amazing and yet so damn confusing at the same time. This otter, next to him under the blankets, was helping him to remember - and Juliet, was, too. She wished she could help him more - Malak knew that now, after last night - but she still was helping. That was really all he could ever want.

Randal's other arm was between the both of them, his paw resting lightly in the middle of the wolf's chest. Malak brought his own paw up to that one and just held it there, taking in the feeling of having someone else touch him, someone who cared about him and his problems, someone who very possible loved him. It was an amazing feeling. It wasn't even the physical contact: just knowing that he was loved now made up for all those nights spent alone in the past. This was all he wanted.

Those fingers on his chest moved and flexed, and Randal stirred sleepily. "Morning, hon," he purred; his green eyes shone in the sunlight that came in through the window.

Malak smiled - why, he didn't know. He was just... happy. "Good morning."

"You sleep alright?" The otter yawned again and licked his lips, then untangled himself from Malak and rolled over onto his back. The covers fell away with this motion and revealed some of his cream-furred chest.

"Yeah." Malak paused, trying to process everything that had happened in the past night. There was just so much that did. "I slept... excellently, actually. How about you?"

Randal rolled back onto his side and dragged a single sharp claw up and down, up and down Malak's chest and belly. The wolf shivered and murred softly. "Good as well. You feel any better?"

Malak thought about that. He compared last night to this morning: how he was feeling, the thoughts and emotions that ran through his head, his actions, his words, the things that happened. This morning, he was warm, happy, and felt like this was where he belonged; the opposite could only be said about last night. "Yes," he murmured back, and smiled again. "Much better."

"Good. I thought so." Randal looked as if he was going to say something else, but didn't. His eyes glinted and glimmered, then, as he inspected the wolf: those emeralds flicked around the black fur of his chest, then focused on his neck and the scar there, then went back to his chest, and then came up to Malak's eyes and stayed there. The fleck of the darker green was still there in Randal's left, like a stone sitting at the bottom of an algae-rich pond. He blinked, breaking the wolf's thoughts, and sniffed. "Malak?"

"Yes?"

The otter was quiet for another moment. Malak's heart sped up in wondering what it was he was going to say. "Maybe you should talk to Juliet some."

That wasn't what he had expected. He sighed and felt down Randal's back with his paw again. "What makes you say that? ...Have you been reading my texts?"

"What? No. I was just saying... I mean, I remember when you first introduced us a few weeks ago, she seemed a bit upset about us being together, and every time we've seen her afterward, even more so. I'm just gonna go ahead and assume that's not how she normally is, yes?" Randal arched his back and groaned quietly whenever the wolf hit a good spot with his claws, but tried to keep his eyes on him. "Once you figure out how to read people, it's not that hard. It's like... folding shirts, I guess. Something like that, at least. For instance, I could tell exactly what you wanted from me by the way you looked at and spoke to me the first night we really interacted. Well, not exactly, but..." The otter took Malak's paw from his back and shifted it to his lower belly. There, it was deliciously warm, and Malak caught his eyes. Randal smiled and licked his lips. "...I somewhat knew what you wanted."

This otter really was strange. Malak felt around in the fur there, and giggled softly when he saw that it made Randal wiggle and grunt. He couldn't resist sliding his paw down just a little - bit - more... "Oh? What would that be?"

"I think you know." Those green eyes looked up and blinked. "But, now, I see you're so much more than that. I originally thought that you were just sex and lust, and to be completely and totally honest, I wouldn't have had much of a problem with that, as long as you were still capable of human emotion." He laughed and once more moved the wolf's paw away. "But, I'm glad we do have more than that. You're so... interesting and complex, and so much more different than I thought when we first spoke. I know you've been trying, hon, and you've done well. I know that you've been trying not to mess anything up in this relationship - I know you used to have problems when it comes to love and you've been really worried, and... I just want to let you know that you're doing a good job. I do realize that we've only been together for a few weeks now, and I can't say much when it comes to love, but... we're getting there." He pressed his claws into Malak's chestfur and then moved up, placing a kiss on his nose. "That ex of yours was wrong, in my opinion. There's so much more to you than just a few mistakes that everybody has the chance to make. In a way, though, I'm glad he did leave you: that freed you from a bad relationship that certainly would have ended anyway and gave me the chance to meet you and..." He swallowed and licked his lips, playing with the chestfur in his fingers. "...and fall in love."

Malak didn't know what to say to that. He had no words for the thoughts and images running through his mind and heart. There just simply weren't words for how Randal made him feel; those few weeks ago, never did he think that he would ever be so blessed as to awaken next to this otter. He never once thought that he could be happy, and then Randal took his paw firmly in his own and showed him how that was all just a false wall put up by his own fears and choices. He showed him that it was a cardboard wall, held up on loose supports: with the slightest willing push, it would fall.

He had no words, so he said nothing. Instead, he tilted his head down, looked into those eyes one more time, and then kissed him. He felt the paw on his chest flex and then tense, claws digging in as the otter fell further into the kiss.

"Ow," Malak breathed softly in a break from the kiss. "Careful."

"Sorry." Randal pressed his lips to the wolf's gain. "Just caught me kinda by surprise, is all, and..." He breathed out a content sigh and moved his paw down to Malak's belly. The wolf's heart sped up again. "Also, you... I..." He fell silent and blushed.

"I what?" Malak pressed his nose to the otter's. That paw continued down, stopping at the waistband of his pants. "You can tell me."

Randal avoided his eyes and shifted underneath the covers. "...I'm gonna go take a shower," he purred. "Maybe you should join me."

~ ~ ~

Malak went into the diner Juliet worked at a few times after that morning, but each time, nothing was said. She met his eyes every time but never initiated conversation with him, as if she was avoiding him - of course, that might have been because he came in with Randal at his side each time.

One morning, the otter had offered to stay at home. Now, Malak sat at his own table with the usual single cup of water in front of him; the mutt was on the other side of the room by herself, flicking her eyes over occasionally to see if he was still there. Each time, he was, and each time, he was looking right at her. If only I could transmit my thoughts, he mused to himself.

Finally, she got up and left, giving him one last look before pushing through the door. He crushed his cup in his paw and followed, not sure what she would say to him when he caught up. He knew for certain that she wouldn't be happy or pleased: all the look she shot at him were icy glances that had something else bubbling at their core, something like regret, or want, or maybe even anger or hatred.

He placed his paw on her shoulder a few yards down the sidewalk; she sucked in a gasp and jumped. "Juliet."

She turned and faced him, eyes running up his figure before focusing on his. He was a few inches taller than her. She stood there in front of him, ears pointed slightly back, tail stirring every once in a while, silent. She looked as if she wanted to say something but kept her mouth shut.

Those brown eyes looked into Malak's, quiet, searching for the right words to say. The wolf just looked back, also silent, also searching - and, then, he held his arms out.

Juliet looked at him and then fell into the hug, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder. "Malak..." she murmured, and held him tight.

"I'm here. I'm here, Juliet, I'm here."

"I don't like him, Malak."

"I know. I know you don't." He rubbed her lower back and held her close. "I'm sorry. I can't just leave him, though."

She sniffed and looked up at him. "If you had known before, though, then... would you?"

Malak thought about that. Really, if he had just paid attention, how she felt about him would have seemed more than obvious. Was that something he regretted? He honestly couldn't tell, comparing what is and what could have been. "I'd rather not answer..."

Juliet sniffed again, and then once more rested her head on his shoulder. There were so many things to say, but neither of them wanted to say those things. "Have you...?"

"What?"

"You know."

He sighed. "Yes."

"So you're that far in, then. You're not going to leave him."

He sighed again. "Juliet..."

"What? I'm just getting things straight." In her eyes, suddenly, was fire; she dropped her arms to around his waist. "Not something you'd be too familiar with."

"Low."

"I wouldn't trust him, wolfy." Juliet watched Malak's eyes and facial expressions. "I don't not like him just because he... has you, but... also because I don't trust him. He's just... there's something off about him."

"What makes you say that?"

"He's too happy, too energetic. Too eager, almost. Last person like that I knew turned out to be a serial killer."

"He's not a criminal, Juliet."

"How do you know? What has he told you about his past, his friends, his family?" She waited for a response but got none. "Anything?"

"That's not important. I've known him for three weeks."

"Correction: you've been in a relationship for three weeks. Come on, Malak. You know more about me than him."

"I've know you for a lot longer -"

"And you're not even in a relationship with me. Huh."

"There's nothing wrong with him, Juliet." The wolf leaned in close so that Juliet could feel every exhalation of breath from his nose. "Since you're so worried, though, when I next see him, I'll talk to him and let you know what he says."

"See? You do care about me."

"I never said I didn't."

She fell quiet, thinking about how she should word her next sentence. "Malak..." she began. His ears perked. "I'm just... worried. I'm not angry or anything, because I know how love works. You're completely and totally enraptured with that one person, that one someone, to the point where you almost don't see the appeal of having anyone else. I know that. Malak, I... you... I worry about you and your happiness, because I care about you." She traced a claw down a thin scar on the side of the wolf's neck, the stone of her ring glinting in the sunlight; he shivered, remembering how Randal's teeth had felt right there. "I know we're not really the best of friends, especially on your part, but you mean a lot to me. You really do. If I can't make you happy, then... the next best thing is seeing someone else do it."

What did she expect him to say to that? What would Randal want him to say? What was he supposed to say? Malak took in those eyes - those deep brown eyes that melded to green at the edges; he took in her voice and the soft tone of her words; he took in her raised ears and swinging tail; he took in the warmth of her arms, still around his waist. He opened his mouth to say something, to say anything in response -

• and then Juliet stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss, and then was gone down the sidewalk.

Malak raised an arm as if to call out to her, but no words came. His brain had just shut down. Did she just...? She just - did she? She did. "Juliet -" he managed finally, but she was around the corner and gone.

~ ~ ~

As much as he didn't believe what Juliet had said, Malak couldn't help but look at Randal a bit differently from then on. Under each smile, there was the wonder of what was really going through his head; under each word, the thought of whether that was really what he meant; under each 'I've been there' or 'I know', he wondered if he really had or did.

After a few nights, the otter noticed. "What's going on with you, hon?" he said softly before bed one night. They had both just showered, and Malak was reading a book - well, not really reading. His eyes were directed somewhat at the page while his mind was elsewhere. "You've been... quiet recently, and haven't said much. Are you feeling okay?"

Malak flicked back into this plane of existence and turned his head - those charismatic green eyes looked wonderingly at him. "Yes. Yeah, I'm fine."

Randal tilted his head. "You know, you'd be terrible at playing poker. Do you play poker? I hope you don't play poker. Is that why you lived in such a shithole apartment?"

"...Randal." Malak set the book down. "Who were your parents?"

The otter's mood visibly shifted. He sat down on the edge of the bed, towel still around his waist. "My mother's name was Eleanor," he said, quietly. "And I never knew my father. He... left, before I was born."

"Brothers, sisters? Any siblings?"

"No. I'm an only child." He sniffed. "My mother expected so much of me, and never gave me anything in return - eventually, I just started calling her by her name, because she wasn't my mother anymore. She was Eleanor. Just Eleanor."

Eleanor. Eleanor. Where had Malak heard that name before? "What was your childhood like?"

He was quiet for another moment, probably digging up old memories he thought he'd never have to return to. "Stressful. Bland. Again, she expected so much of me: I was in all advanced classes, and passed at the top of the class. Was almost valedictorian at the end of high school. I got accepted to every single college I applied to, but... never went. I couldn't. I just left home for the last day of high school and never came back."

See? Juliet was worrying about nothing. He sent her a quick text and then looked back to the otter. "I'm sorry, dear," he said, holding his arms out; Randal shrugged off his towel and slipped under the covers and into those arms. "I was just... curious. I mean, we've never really just... talked, you know?

"Yeah, I know. I understand." The otter brought an arm up around Malak's back and wriggled closer. His fur was still somewhat damp. "I just don't like talking about it that much - life is much better right now than it was back then, and back then, I wasn't happy. I never was. Now? I always am." He tilted Malak's chin toward him with his other paw and kissed him. "Because now, I have you."

There were still all of these words and questions floating around in Malak's head that he didn't particularly feel too proud of thinking. Randal had just said: that wasn't a time he enjoyed visiting. "One more," said Malak, before he could stop himself; those green eyes flicked up to him. "Who... who was your first love?"

Randal was quiet, and moved his eyes back down. "He was a lot like you," he began after a pause - Malak had started to wonder if he couldn't remember, or if he simply chose not to remember. "He was a wolf. He was... he was strong, graceful, handsome, and he loved me. He truly loved me, and I truly loved him. We made each other happy, and happiness was all I needed to live. I remember awakening in his arms every morning and feeling his breath on my neck. I remember waiting for him to wake up, because once he did, he'd pull me close and we'd lay there together for a while. Whenever I was tired or sick, he'd pick me up in his arms, like no big deal, and rest me on the couch, sometimes lying next to me. He cared about me, so much more than anyone else ever had..." Randal fell quiet again, and then looked back up. At the corners of his eyes were small little tears. "But, then, there was you."

The otter readjusted his position so his back was against Malak's chest, who pulled him closer with an arm around his waist. Underneath the floral scent of Randal's soap in the fur on his neck, Malak picked up more there. There, he smelled lavender, Randal, and himself. He still wasn't fully used to waking up next to someone - or falling asleep next to someone, either: it was always strange and somewhat surprising, but in a way that made his heart flutter and that brought a sweet smile to his face. He had grown familiar with the otter's scent, just as he had with this bed, and this house, too - he couldn't imagine where he'd be if he hadn't spoken to Randal in the first place, or if he would even still be alive. He didn't like how thinking about that made him feel, so he just simply didn't.

Randal's body was warm against his. it always was. He stroked the otter's bellyfur with his paw, eyes closed and a murr gently rumbling in his throat. He was happy, Malak realized: they both were. This was happiness - this was love. He could ask for nothing more. Then, out of a moment of curiosity, the wolf asked - in a soft whisper: "What was his name?"

Randal said nothing: he was asleep. His chest rose and fell, rose and fell in smooth movements against Malak's paw; he moved and twitched every once in a while, also occasionally making a little grunt or yip in his sleep. Malak smiled and nuzzled the otter's neck.

~ ~ ~

Juliet shifted underneath her covers and sighed. It was a cold night outside, but the heater was on, and she had covered herself in multiple thick blankets - she was warm and content, in that regard. Other than that, though, not so much.

She had looked at the text Malak had sent her for quite a while, and multiple times, too. She didn't know what to think of his words, that seemingly rushed "everything's ok, there's nothing to worry about". She couldn't figure out whether he had said that because it was actually true, or because he just wanted to get rid of her. She knew that there was very little logic to support the latter of those, but it still worried her. She couldn't handle the thought of Malak not being able to tolerate her.

Of course, though, he could tolerate her. He even liked her, if she was allowed to venture so far to say so: after all, he didn't push her away when she stole that kiss. Okay, that probably wasn't the smartest thing to do on her part, but... she didn't really know what else she could have done. Malak was sweet, and kind, and so much friendlier now that he was happy, and... she couldn't resist.

She thought that, maybe, he had wanted to kiss her. She thought she felt him press back against her - but, that might have just been her silly hopeful imagination. She really couldn't understand him sometimes.

Juliet rolled over again and pulled her blankets up closer. She just wished she had someone - anyone, really. Preferably Malak, but that obviously wouldn't happen anytime soon. How did it feel, for that otter to be held in the wolf's arms? How did Malak feel, holding him close? Why couldn't Juliet have that? Why didn't she just act sooner? This was all her fault. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She kept her phone in her paw, just in case she got the urge to send someone a message; often, she would fall asleep in the middle of a conversation and wake up with no recollection whatsoever of said conversation until she looked through her messages - that had happened with Malak once or twice. Each time reinforced the theory that her mind was never at its best when she was tired, and she vowed not to ever do that again. That never lasted long, of course.

The screen of her phone was blinding in contrast to the near-solid darkness of her room that her eyes had grown accustomed to. She slowly tapped in the message to Malak, pausing in between each word, constantly thinking about what it was she was trying to say and whether or not she should say it. Her mind constantly flashed back to that one quick kiss they shared, making her fumble in her typing - his lips were warm, and she was certain she felt a flick of surprised tongue. He had pulled her closer to him in that half-second, just as she did him; she could feel the muscles in his lower back and the strength of those arms around her body, and it was absolutely amazing. She didn't know what to think.

Her thumb rested on the send button - should she? How would Malak respond? What would he say? Would it change what he thought of her? She read over her message one more time: "Malak... you mean so much to me, possibly more than Randal means to you. I've seen you come in every morning. I know your life and your troubles. I know what you've been through, and I can probably take a guess at where you're going. I don't like that otter, and that's not just because I'm jealous. I feel like I know him, like I've met him before. Also, his eyes - they're not right. Green isn't their natural color. I don't know if he wears colored contacts or what, but... they're just too bright. I don't trust him, and you shouldn't either."

That felt wrong. That all felt wrong. She deleted the whole message and set her phone down on her nightstand, rolling over again - if she had sent that, she would have just sounded childish and over-jealous. While she really didn't like Randal, Malak loved him. That was all there was to it, and there was nothing she could do about it. That absolutely infuriated her, but it was the truth.

Randal had come into the restaurant one morning, right after Juliet's shift had ended. She watched him for a while, and he just seemed... different. Perhaps it was how he acted, or how he moved, maybe how he spoke, or how he seemed to always be looking around with his ears flicking this way and that as if someone was looking for him. One thing she knew for certain was different, though, was those gemstone eyes: it wasn't a drastic difference. Maybe they were actually blue, or brown, or perhaps amber. It could be of absolutely no importance, but it still caught her attention.

She held a body pillow close to her and imagined that it was living, with a beating pulse and slow breaths. She imagined she could smell Malak on it, and then eventually fell asleep.

~ ~ ~

Weeks passed. Malak's relationship with Juliet remained the opposite of stagnant, while things with Randal also predictably grew: every Friday night was movie night; they alternated cooking dinner for the other each day; Malak got a new job that allowed him to be awake when his otter was; and their happiness with life continued to rise until it was almost palpable in the air.

Not everything was perfect, though. Juliet had come over one night to eat dinner with the two and just see how things were going; Malak often looked over to find her watching him for just a split second before her brown eyes turned away. He had offered to walk her to her car at the end of the night, and once there, she stood on her tiptoes and gave him another kiss. He had expected that, and even held her there for a second or two: she was the one to break away, and did so without giving him another look or so much as saying goodbye.

Really, though, all that there was to say had just been said.

This was another such night. Randal was his usual talkative and energetic self, while Malak and Juliet sat at opposite ends of the table, chewing their food slowly and giving each other a quick glance every once in a while.

"Yeah," Randal went on, "that movie was scary as hell. If Malak hadn't been here, I probably would've turned it off and not slept for, like, two days. I swear, I was clinging to him like my life depended on it." He skewered a chunk of meat with his fork and brought it to his mouth. "Isn't that right, hon?"

"Yeah." Malak had heard nothing of what the otter just said. Juliet raised her eyebrows and nodded as if she was listening.

It wasn't that Malak didn't care what his boyfriend had to say: it was just that there were more important things to consume his mind. He fully realized that he never should have kissed Juliet in the first place - and he knew it was even worse that he may or may not be looking forward to when it would happen again. He had been doing so well for so long, and then she had to go and fall in love with him. He couldn't ignore that. He wasn't that kind of person.

But, as much as he wished it would, that didn't justify his past actions. He was in a full, committed relationship - at least, he was supposed to be - with someone else. That was the way relationships worked: it was always a one-on-one compromise, sacrificing such actions with others to be devoted to that one person in a bond of soul and heart that should be able to stand impervious and immortal to any outside force.

However, it rarely did. Malak's bond tended to be like an old, dry rubber band that had been stretched taut: it was there, but it couldn't hold much.

He didn't want his relationship with Randal to end. This thought went through his mind as the meal came to an end and they started to clean up. He really, truly loved Randal: that much had been made clear and obvious to the world by the silver necklace that now hung around the otter's neck, the clasp in the back fixed a few days prior. Malak finally had something good in his life, and he didn't want to give that up - and the same went for his friendship with Juliet. That is, if what they had could still be called friendship. He didn't know anymore.

The front door closed behind him and the mutt; as soon as it did, her paw intertwined with his, and he gave a squeeze. The sky tonight was black and cloudless, the only things visible an orange due to a lunar eclipse and maybe one or two stars. Malak didn't quite know what it was, but he felt more comfortable out here with just Juliet than he did inside with his boyfriend right there.

She turned to him and took his other paw in hers once they reached her car. "So," she began. Her eyes glinted in the illumination from the streetlight across the road.

"So." He squeezed her paws; she squeezed back.

No more words were said - neither of them had anything more to say. Juliet rose to her tiptoes, as she usually did, but this time, Malak leaned down and in. Their lips met once, twice, three times, locking and then releasing again and again. Malak felt one of Juliet's paws pull loose from his and slide up under his shirt, then crawl down his chest, his belly, lower, lower...

He shuddered and breathed out a gentle moan; that paw came back up and caressed his muzzle. "Think of me," the mutt murmured, and then opened the door of her car, slipped in, closed it, and was gone.

Malak remained there for a while, shivering softly - whether it as a shiver of nervousness or one of... a different sort of emotion, he couldn't tell. The memory of those lips and that paw on him were fresh in his mind, as he was sure they would be for quite a while.

Randal was waiting by the door when he came back in - that instantly made his heart jump into his throat, and he tried to look as if his brain hadn't just shorted out a minute before. "So," the otter said. Malak cursed himself in his mind - shit, shit, shit. He knows. He knows. Oh shit, he knows. How long has he known? The wolf turned, willing his mind to put together at least a half-reasonable explanation, and then - "Wanna go to the park tomorrow?"

What? The - he - ...what? "Um." Malak wiped his paw across his forehead and hoped Randal didn't see the sweat. "Sure, I guess. Isn't it supposed to rain tomorrow?"

"What's wrong with a little rain?"

Later that night, Malak felt... dirty. It felt wrong to climb into bed with Randal after what had happened between Juliet and the wolf earlier that night. Each time he felt Randal's paws sliding up his back or his lips on some part of his body, he imagined them to be Juliet's. He knew that was wrong, and it killed him on the inside, but... he couldn't resist.

The last thing Malak saw before turning his lamp off was a white contact lens case on the otter's nightstand that he wasn't sure he had ever seen before, and the glint of his eyes that appeared amber in this night.

Then, the room went black, and he heard three whispered words: "I love you."

He couldn't bring himself to say those words back. It just felt wrong.

~ ~ ~

Malak awoke the next morning to see a pair of bright orange eyes watching him.