FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The Resort

Prologue:

Starting Over

---

by

Dissident Love

Copyright 2012

There are days which photographers throughout the ages have tried to immortalize. There are skies so clear, beaches so pristine, waves so sparking and gulls so... so gully, that to be able to capture the moment forever for the world to enjoy and yet fail to do so would be the greatest crime imaginable.

Loreli stared down at such a day from an altitude of three thousand feet, and could only think to hirself with a faint grimace, Gods, it looks like a fucking postcard.

Pan Islandica Flight 419 was circling lazily above Ilsa Calamata as though it planned to do so all day, wings periodically dipping to mimic the gulls that fluttered below. Their scheduled arrival time was not for another seventeen minutes, as clement weather had allowed them to arrive early, but the extremely busy airport below could only slot them in at the verified minute, and not one iota earlier or later. More than two dozen airlines regularly flew in and out of Ilsa Calamata, each one packed full with waiting lists that could be measured in months. With military-like precision, the airplanes were guided in, emptied, refilled and then ushered back out again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking," crackled the intercom. Why did they always crackle?? Loreli wondered. Can't they afford better speakers? "We will be landing in a couple minutes, so please enjoy the views of the island below. We here at Pan Islandica hope... actually, we know that you will enjoy your stay, and we thank you again for flying with us. For those of you who are making your first visit, allow me to be the first to say it won't be your last."

"Smug prick," the dainty gazelle mumbled to hirself, sipping at hir tiny airline can of mango juice and nibbling at a tiny airline packet of salted peanuts.

The man sitting next to hir, a thick-bodied and slightly-pudgy hound with scraggly grey hairs beginning to smear his rich chestnut fur, glanced at hir in mild surprise. "Aren't you happy to be visiting?"

"Not especially," shi said breezily, staring out the window as though the gulls below had personally wronged hir.

He eyed hir, perhaps a little more openly than was strictly necessary, up and down and then up again. "Then why visit? Just... had to see what the fuss is all about?"

Shi licked at a fleck of salt on hir lips and turned to face him, having to tilt hir head up quite a ways to do so. "My parents thought it would be good for me."

The hound coughed, jowls flapping and attracting the attention of the surrounding seats. Shi supposed it wasn't nice to screw with him like this, but it might be hir last chance. "Your parents?" he said with disbelief, quieting to a whisper at the end. "I... well... that's very... open-minded of them, I suppose."

Shi stretched hir entire body and craned hir neck to see overtop of the seats, taking in hir fellow passengers. On average, shi knew, they were mid-thirties to early fifties, and definitely predominantly male, although there were a number of middle-aged women and even, yes, a few couples. There was even one whole family sitting at the back, a cluster of pandafolk with five kids that ranged from baby to teenaged, and Loreli couldn't help but think that they had accidentally booked the wrong flight.

What there were none of on this flight, hirself excluded, were young women. Or young herms, although it was tricky to tell. Except for that one panda, and the nice minkboi that had served hir coffee, shi was probably the only teenager on the entire flight.

"It's for the best," shi said, turning back to the window. The hound started to open his mouth, thought the better of it, and just went back to reading the in-flight pamphlets which barely refrained from describing in illicit details the pleasures and delights awaiting him.

Right on schedule, the squeak of the landing gear nearly matching the beep from hir smartphone, the plane touched down and taxied briskly to the departure gate. The airport was extremely modern, all chrome steel and bronzed glass, though it was obvious that significant effort had gone to using some of the local exotic woods in the details. Shi had seen similar airports in other countries, but shi had to admit they had not been this... cheerful.

As soon as the plane drifted smoothly to a stop, the stewards and stewardesses appeared as if by magic, ready with a tiny gift basket and a garland of tropical flowers. The passengers, blushing and grinning, gratefully accepted the gifts and all but sprinted out into the perpetually sunny island air. Loreli had to smile, covering hir mouth daintily, when one of the paired women, a greying lioness, very nearly jerked her male counterpart off of his feet in her dash for the exit.

"Here you go, ma'am, and thanks for flying Pan Islandica. We know you'll enjoy your visit!" the minkboi said with breathlessly rehearsed ease, dropping the garland over hir tiny horns and around hir narrow shoulders.

"I'm not visiting," shi said softly, giving him a tiny little peck on the cheek; he had been nice to hir, after all. "But thank you."

The svelte, effete mink started to ask why, but Loreli was already out the door.

The antelope's first visceral impression of the island, not counting the aerial postcard view, was of being slapped with a hot, wet blanket. The sun blazed down, the air was so humid it could probably be cut and sold in blocks, and there were so many exotic and esoteric scents being carried on the wind shi was surprised they didn't have to queue up to flood hir nostrils.

"Fwhoah," shi said, shaking hir head and blinking away the dazzling sight. "That's... well, great. I've always wanted to live in a sauna," shi groused, tugging hir well-worn backpack up over one shoulder and heading down the steps to the tarmac.

Many of the other visitors had arranged for cabs and carriages to take them to their various destinations, some of them to the Resort itself, and the little departure zone around the airplane was filled with locals holding cardboard signs. Loreli had expected to just head out front and hail a taxi, but much to hir surprise there was a huge, raggedy, dingo-looking man holding a comically small placard that clearly said 'Loreli de Seuss'.

Shi debated ditching him and heading for the main airport, but shi knew that the hapless escort would probably catch flak for that. Shi squared hir shoulders and marched over to him, every inch of hir bespeaking someone walking to their final execution.

"That's me," shi said, a little more harshly than shi meant to.

The dingo-something stared down at hir, chewing a toothpick and grinning. He eyed hir openly, taking in hir long, lean dancer's legs, slender hips, trim body, unremarkable bosom and pretty, if angry, face. Shi wore a pair of simple cutoff jean shorts that flattered hir modest bulge and a snug white tank top that contrasted nicely with hir rich sunset-orange fur. This seemed to intrigue him, but he just shrugged as if to say, 'eh, not bad'.

"Is all right, you come with me?" he said in whatever accent passed for local. It was vaguely Latin, but generations of 'discoverers' and waves of visitors had given Ilsa Calamata it's own unique polyglot mishmash of speech. Some said it was the easiest to learn, as it borrowed from so many others, but it was nearly impossible to master without being born there.

"I guess," shi said. "Lead on, McDuff."

"MacDuff."

"What?"

"Is 'Lead on, MacDuff'. Shakespeare, right? Mac, not Mc. Is important. Irish get very cranky about that." He started walking towards the far edge of the airport, an area that seemed devoid of anything but palm trees and shimmering heat-fried air. He was a foot taller than hir, and far wider in the shoulder than any biped should reasonably be. He was wearing a business suit, but in keeping with the bizarre local tradition of forced relaxation, it was bright red and it's sleeves had been completely ripped off, along with the pants below the knees. The red silk tie was, strangely enough, immaculate.

"Who are you, a history teacher?"

"Professor of Literature of Classical Antiquity, Ilsa Calamata University."

Loreli just stared. "Bullshit."

"If you are going where I am taking you, is good chance you end up in my class, yeah?" The dingo-thing grinned. "I drive cab on weekends. Is good money, is meet people. Am too old to chase beach bunnies, so I am letting beach bunnies chase me for change."

Loreli quickened hir pace, tiny hooves clopping on the tarmac. They entered the blissful reprieve of shade, slowly rounding the far side of the main airport structure, a dozen other airplanes large and small scudding around them. "You're not bullshitting, are you?"

"No bullshit, miss, and you should not be using such words. Is unseemly."

"Shakespeare called people cunts," shi said easily.

"Yes, but he does it in classy way. You sound like two-penny biker bitch."

Hir jaw dropped and hir eyes blazed with fire. "What the...? What kind of cab-driving-slash-university-professor are you?"

He looked back and winked. "One who knows sort of girl who gets sent to Resort. Am sorry, should not be pushing buttons like this on first day." He bowed to hir, so low his forehead actually did scrape the asphalt. "You will end day in good mood, I am promise. But for now, chariot awaits, yes?"

Shi followed his gesturing hand and saw what had, at some point, probably been a good old American sedan, but quite a bit of work with tin snips, chainsaw and bright red cotton had turned it into a strange cross between a convertible and a fuzzy slipper. "That's your cab?"

"Is big pimping, yeah? Made it myself."

"I can tell!"

He threw back his head and laughed, a sound so full of gusto and good cheer that Loreli could not keep hir lips from tilting upwards. "I take as compliment, little miss Loreli! Thank you very much." He gripped the top of one of the doors and yanked hard, opening it without the benefit of a handle. "It sticks in warm weather. Please, make yourself comfortable!"

Shi tossed hir heavy little bag into the back seat and slid in after it, and shi had to admit the feel of crushed velvet, as outdated as it might be, was rather nice after such a long flight. Shi stretched hir legs out, wriggling a little bit. "Isn't it always warm here? How often does it stick?"

"Since 1997. Watch legs, please," he said breezily, slamming the door shut.

Loreli was silent while hir strange driver crammed himself into the front seat and piloted the car sedately to the ground traffic gates. Once off the tarmac, though, with the familiar feel of well-worn highway beneath them, the car accelerated like a rocket, tires squeaking in protest. They had already passed three other taxis before Loreli had the sense of self-preservation to buckle hir seatbelt.

The wind whipped through hir hair, the shaggy upholstery and the countless tiny tassles thrashing like flowers in a hurricane. "Aren't you going a little fast?!" shi shouted over the turbulence.

"No! Am going lot fast!"

"Glad we cleared that up then!"

The airport was located on the northernmost part of the island, while the bulk of the sole city occupied the southern portion. Ilsa Calamata was only seventeen miles long and barely ten wide, but the six-lane highway that looped through all of the major landmarks was surprisingly busy, and they were soon forced to slow down or cause a serious high-speed collision.

On hir right, the island humped up enormously in the middle, not quite a mountain but certainly more than a hill, with rich green rainforests seeming to covering every square inch. On hir right, the highway fell away in a long, low slope covered with sparse island grasses and wildflowers before transitioning to the pristine white beaches that the island was famous for. Among other things. The ocean sparkled, so blue shi suspected Photoshop had been used.

"So what's your name?" shi asked, digging into hir backpack for hir shades. It was going to take a while to get used to a nation with 334 sunny days per year.

"Meh."

"Fine, I was just wondering," shi pouted, donning hir wide, sparkly-rimmed shades. I thought people here were supposed to be friendly!

The dingo-creature just turned and grinned at hir, not even slightly keeping an eye on the road. "Is my name, Miss Loreli. Meh Mahico. It means "indomnitable". I am told it means something else where you are from."

"Oh! Sorry... Meh," shi said, unable to suppress a tiny giggle. "I guess... I guess I'm pleased to meet you."

"Not sure?"

"You've made me smile twice today. I didn't expect that. Uhm... can you keep your eye on the road?"

"Why?"

Loreli was about to reply, in scathing detail, but Meh swiveled back around. All around them, lush tropical jungle was slowly being supplanted by cabins, cafes, corner stores and well-manicured parks. "As you wish," he said. "This is eastern outskirts, neighborhood called Lasha. Means 'sweet music'."

It really could have been any number of small coastal towns on the Riviera, or maybe even one of the more upscale districts in Cuba. Shi'd never been to any of them, but shi'd seen so many travel documentaries that shi could write a convincing travelogue hirself. There were young people here, quite a number of them, though they had the air of locals; similarly and casually dressed, sun-darkened or sun-bleached fur, and hardly a cheap straw hat in sight. Half a dozen carts sold drinks, various foods on sticks, and sunglasses. Sitting out in front of a cafe was an adorable family of ocelots, several small kids hurling ice cubes at eachother and laughing.

Shi was about to ask Meh just how many families came to visit when hir jaw dropped and shi whipped hir shades from hir eyes. Sipping through a straw from a large plastic cup and laughing with some friends was a plump, pretty puppy girl wearing a blue bikini that only very, very barely kept her spectacularly immense bosom within the bounds of decency. There was no chance, Loreli knew, that the girl could touch her paws in front of her chest! Shi stared as they whizzed past, and soon left the ridiculously top-heavy girl behind.

Loreli started to ask Meh something else when shi spotted an even more startling sight on the other side of the road, leaning against the aged driftwood fence and staring out at the beach. The equine lady was eye-catchingly voluptuous, certainly exceptional where Loreli had come from, but forcing the horse's thighs far, far apart and stretching a pair of lycra cycle shorts beyond obscenity was a hermness on a scale the antelope had never seen in person before. Densely swaying testes like beachballs pressed against the wooden fence, and a sheath that Loreli only briefly glimpsed before Meh's taxi had drawn them out of sight had reminded hir of a rolled-up sleeping bag.

"Wha-" shi managed to squeak, smacking Meh repeatedly on the shoulder. "Did you-"

"Yeah, that's Melinda. Shi always goes for jog this time of day. Is nice. Makes excellent spaghetti." Meh spoke as though he were describing unremarkably pleasant weather. "I can introduce you sometime."

"Shi was massive!"

"Oh, most definitely. One of bigger ladies on island."

"'One of'?!"

"Okay, maybe not even top twenty, but still, fine figure of woman. Wonderful cook."

Loreli's eyes narrowed. "You said 'cook', right?"

Meh roared with laughter. "Indeed I did! You have excellent ears, but dirty mind. Shi is just woman, like anyone else. On island, people is people. You will see."

Sure enough, as the highway slowly petered out into a wide, slow-moving boulevard that neatly bisected the city, shi realized he was right. Girls of all ages and shapes and sizes boasted bustlines well into the triple digits, herms that needed to pass through doors sideways in order to fit, and even a number of males that were occasionally even more impressively equipped. No-one was staring at them with undue awkwardness, no-one was pointing or laughing, no-one was covered up to hide their shame.

Everyone was just... going about their lives. Loreli even saw a pretty, older husky lady with hir hair drawn back into a severe bun and wearing a smart pinstripe suit, cel phone in one hand and attache case in the other, who might have been even more impressively hung than Melinda. A group of kids darted past hir on old-style rollerblades, and one of the youths, a young and plumply adorable bovine lad, already looked like he was trying to cope with a watermelon in his swimsuit.

"Damn," shi breathed when the main strip wound it's way out the other end of the city and started to drift upwards into the western portion of the island, a mass of low hills that ended in sharp oceanside cliffs and the widest beaches available. Visible even at this distance was the enormous and sparklingly modern Resort. No additional name was needed; if you were on Ilsa Calamata, you knew the Resort.

"You will get used to it. Maybe find such people to be worth knowing?" he hazarded.

Loreli just snorted. "Yeah. Maybe."

The run-up to the Resort was like driving through some Hollywood country club. Exquisitely-manicured parkland, crushed gravel paths twisting through them like snake and dotted with marble fountains and rustic benches, stretched away on either side of them. Golf carts whizzed around, but still more numerous were the couples walking hand-in-hand, heads together in hushed chatter or just taking in the wondrous landscape. There were even, as Loreli had suspected, a few groups of three, generally an older man, and older woman and... well... people who clearly worked at the Resort.

Loreli was stunned by the number, and variety, of outlandishly-sized figures crammed into bikinis, one-piece swimsuits or just breezy, loosely-draped island dresses. There were herms of quite literally all shapes and sizes, some small by hir standards, and some that clearly required specially-made doors and furniture. There were young women with bustlines that sometimes obscured their facial features, and sometimes obscured the men they were walking with. Reflecting the relative rarity of the condition, Loreli only spotted two hyper-endowed males walking around with giggling women on their arms, but shi made a mental note to inquire about them later.

Several paws and hooves and other appendages were being fairly indecent with the oversized beauties, but no-one seemed to particularly notice or mind. It was... it was... Loreli wasn't sure if shi should be impressed at the casually cavalier attitudes here, or offended at the blatant disregard for public politeness and personal space.

The taxi had slowed to a crawl to accommodate the pedestrians and golf carts, allowing Meh to once again drive without facing the road. When Loreli snapped out of hir reverie shi found him staring at hir curiously. "You are thinking... doubleyou tee eff, correct?"

Loreli's fingers came up to cover hir mouth, not wanting him to know shi was smiling. "Something like that," shi muttered. "They're all so... so..."

"Big?"

"Happy," shi said softly. "At peace."

Meh's head cocked to the side. "Indeed. This is their home. Must feel at peace, at home. Here is stop. Get out now."

The taxi jerked to a stop with a squeak of abused brakes, jostling Loreli. "Uh... that's it? I'm... I'm just on my own now?"

"You are looking like girl who is used to being on your own, and RushAir Dreamliner is landing in fourteen minutes. I can make many, many tips. If you please?" He reached back with one tremendously rangy arm and popped the catch on hir door from the inside, swinging it open for hir and allowing hir to slide out.

Shi reached for hir purse within the depths of hir satchel. "How much do I owe you?"

Meh waved hir away. "Been paid for by Resort. Love picking you folks up, I get big fat bonus."

"You said 'bonus', right?"

He roared with laughter again. "Yes! I have great big bonus right now!" he howled, putting the makeshift vehicle into gear and pulling away. "Be happy, miss Loreli! I will be seeing you, and when I do, I expect more than three tiny smiles!"

Seeing him drive off, veering around the golf carts and nearly running one of them off the road, shi was surprised to find hirself waving goodbye. Shi stared at hir hand, dropped it to hir side, and shrugged. "Wierdo," shi said, but hir heart wasn't in it.

Shi looked around, not having really noticed the forest for the trees, so to speak. The great central lodge of the Resort loomed over hir, an eclectic mixture of steel, teak and glass that fairly sparkled in the sunlight. There was so much more window than wall, shi could see the cavernous interior lobby and clear through to the courtyards on the other side. People flowed in and out of the enormous sliding glass doors, blushing and giggling and staring adoringly at one another. Loreli tried to suppress the urge to gawk, but failed when a fairly attractive male elk walked past, on the arm of a pretty flame-haired afghan houndgrrl wearing a light blue dress that did absolutely nothing to conceal a bulge thicker than hir thigh that ran right to hir ankles. Wobbling behind hir and snuggled up tight to hir pert rear were four huge round shapes that could only have been hir testes, straining at the cyan fabric.

"Hi," the afghan said, smiling brightly and obviously used to that sort of reaction from people getting out of taxis. Loreli just nodded dumbly as they went past, raising hir eyebrows when the elk flashed the young antelope grrl a thumbs up and a huge grin.

"Four," shi said, so softly shi could barely hear it hirself. "Four!" Shi clutched hir satchel tighter against hir shoulder and just spent several moments observing the people around hir. Back where Loreli was from, that afghan would have been a laughingstock. Here? That elk looked like he was about to explode from pride, just being at hir side, and the grrl hirself looked just so incredibly serene.

So why am I so angry? shi thought to hirself.

You're jealous, came the answer out of nowhere.

A hand touched hir elbow and shi almost cried out. Shi spun to find hirself face-to-chest with an exotic-looking marten, coat shimmering golden with black highlights and almond-shaped eyes twinkling with mirth. Everything below the marten's neck was obscured, though, by a bosom that should not physically have allowed the woman to balance. Fully outstretched, that silky black paw would not even have reached one nipple! "Good afternoon," she said politely, bowing and nearly causing Loreli to bite hir tongue. She and Loreli were nearly the same height, but the sheer surface area of exposed cleavage had skewed hir perceptions. "Welcome to the Resort. My name is June. May I help guide you?"

Loreli opened hir mouth and squawked. Shi looked frustrated, cleared hir throat, and tried again. "I'm... uh... Loreli de Seuss. I'm... I'm a new grrl, I guess," shi finished lamely.

Another black paw carrying a tiny clipboard appeared from behind those great swells, and June scanned her eyes down the tiny print. "Ah! Yes, you are right on time! Was Meh driving?"

"Huh? Uh, yes."

"Hmm. Strange, you should be early, then. Oh well! Follow me, please," the marten said politely, wiggling her nose and beckoning Loreli to follow. She spun with a ballerina's grace and the view from the back was almost more incredible than from the front. June was wearing a pink tube-top and a black mini-skirt, both of which were only barely keeping her decent, and it was obvious from this angle that hir bosom was so ridiculously overfull that they actually forced her arms back, at all times. How can that be comfortable?! Loreli marvelled.

"Ok," shi said, trying to summon some aloofness. It was difficult, though, in the face of all this delectable flesh.

Passing through the sliding doors, which were easily large enough to accommodate even the largest locals, Loreli entered the blissful embrace of air conditioning. One massive circular check-in desk dominated the middle of the room, and there were numerous plush red couches everywhere. Many of the couches were occupied, and at least one had occupants that had passed first base and were heading for second. High above them, a honeycomb of balconies and walkways looked down upon them from the dozens of suites this single lodge held.

"Not bad," shi said.

June's bushy tail wagged. "Thanks," she said, flashing a grin over her shoulder. "You're marked down as meeting directly with Mr. Henckel as soon as you get here. Normally we try to get the girls signed in as quickly as possible so they can get used to their new surroundings, but you're shown as being 'undecided'."

The thinly-veiled question hung in the air, and Loreli was aware of several pairs of eyes upon hir, which was strange, since shi was perhaps the LEAST odd-looking grrl here! Well, maybe by hir old standards. Here, shi stood out by virtue of plainness. June guided hir past the main desk and down one of the nondescript corridors that branched off from the main hall. Some care had gone into the construction here, as well; the corridor was easily wide enough for two Junes to pass eachother, and the simple wooden doors were also twice as wide as Loreli was used to.

A minute later they came out into a smaller lobby, occupied by a pretty and apparently normally-sized lynx lady at a white desk, and a slouching young raccoongrrl on one of the many simple cushioned benches. Shi was heavy-rumped like all of hir kin, but unlike most hir legs were splayed out awkwardly far in order to make room for hir hermness, filling out a pair of black sweatpants so full that Loreli would not have been surprised to find out it was a second person in there. The raccoongrrl waved brightly, glanced at Loreli's modestly-filled shorts in brief confusion, then went back to hir Reader's Digest.

"Loreli de Seuss for Henckel," June said softly to the lynx, who just nodded and tapped a few words into hir computer. The marten turned and stood in profile, one hand extended. It took Loreli a moment to realize what that meant, and shi shook June's hand, feeling the blush spreading to hir ears. "It's ok, dear," the marten said kindly. "Just relax. He'll see you in a moment, and perhaps he can... convince you. Please, take a seat, and I hope I see you later."

Loreli watched her go, and a quick glance back confirmed that the raccoongrrl was also staring raptly, eyes peeking overtop of hir magazine. With a familiar sigh of fabric sliding against fur, the coon's sweatpants filled out just a little fuller..

Not wanting to get into a conversation about THAT, Loreli sat several benches away, picking up a magazine highlighting Ilsa Calamata's sights of historical interest and flipping through it absently. Hir mind whirled, hir stomach flopped, and hir stubby little tail was wiggling madly. This was definitely not what shi had been expecting when hir parents stuck hir on the plane that morning!

"Miss... de Seuss?" the lynx said, peering at the waiting room expectantly even though there were only two people present, and Loreli had arrived moments before. She didn't seem to notice Loreli until shi raised hir hand, and then smiled professionally. "You may go in now."

Shi rolled hir eyes and smiled apologetically to the coongrrl, who looked as though shi had been waiting a while. The rumpy youth just smiled back and shrugged, going back to hir magazine and letting one hand stray playfully to hir lap. Loreli pried hir eyes away, walked past the receptionist whose nameplate actually said 'Ms Lynx', and through the only door behind it, simply labelled 'Manager'.

As seemed to be the par in this sun-drenched paradise, one entire wall of the office was crystal-clear glass, though every other available surface seemed to be composed of books, or items for carrying yet more books. Shi could make out a big-screen TV that was partially blocked by books, a computer that seemed to have built itself a little fort out of books, and, yes, there was a coffee cup atop one book but below another.

"Good afternoon!" said the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and distinctly well-aged squirrel behind the desk. His fur had gone a snowy grey throughout, his mane a pure alabaster white that made his age quite apparent, but his expression was that of a young man's absolute delight. "Come in, come in, please shut the door behind you, thank you very much, please sit down, there's lots of chairs."

There were lots of chairs, but only one seemed to be not in use by the printed word. Not surprisingly, it was big enough for the coongrrl outside, with room to spare. Loreli sat down daintily, and probably had enough room to curl up and go to sleep. "Hi," shi said, resting hir satchel in hir lap and straightening hir hair.

The fidgety fellow was wearing a button-down shirt and tie, and would have looked at home in any office the world over; even his sleeves were intact. "You look just like your picture! That's good! Too many times these days we get portfolios with wonderful pictures, but that damn Facespace has just created legions of girls that think they only look good at a funny angle in a bathroom mirror! Remarkable, really! Anyways, please sit down."

"I did."

"Excellent! Lovely. Yes." Every word was spoke with pleasant friendliness. Loreli wondered if he had ever had a bad day in his entire life. It didn't sound like it. "What can we do for you?"

Loreli just blinked and stared, incredulous. "Uhm... I was sort of... sent here... so I think you've got that backwards?"

"Not at all! Not at all! No, no, no, we get girls and grrls and boys coming to us and, yes, sometimes sent to us, from all over the world, but we make it a very distinct and important point that we know what we can do for THEM, before any thought of what they can do for US. My dear, didn't you read the Resort literature?"

Hir hand moved to hir satchel. "I... skimmed it."

He clucked his tongue and shook his head sadly, an almost unbearable act on such a chipper chap, but his bright disposition returned immediately. "Well, it happens, it happens, can't be helped, can't be helped. Now then, you and your parents decided that this was the best place for you after-"

"Just them."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Just my parents did the deciding. I was democratically outvoted."

"Ah. Quite. Anyways, you were accepted into our wonderful program, and we do hope you will enjoy your stay here. We have excellent facilities set up to help you think of this place as your home, an ample stipend in order to furnish your new lodgings and acquire weather- appropriate clothing, and our counsellors are available day and night to help you search for a job and plan out your education!"

Again, Loreli was struck dumb. "I... job? I thought... you know... all this was the job," shi said, gesturing all around hir. "All the gals in skimpy outfits with the seasonally-negotiable boyfriends."

"Oh, my goodness, no! What do you think this is, some sort of... brothel?"

"Yes!" shi stated, a little more loudly than was necessary.

"Well!" Mr. Henckel said, obviously affronted. "It seems you did a little bit more than skim the literature, or should I say a good deal less! Miss de Seuss, participation in the Resort's tourism activities is strictly voluntary! Not one person here was turned away because they did not want to partake in such activities!"

"Really?"

"Indeed! I would say less than half of the outlanders have actually engaged in such activities, and only half of those actually do it full-time, as their chosen profession. The rest, of course, are free to pursue romantic interests with the native inhabitants or, as is more common, with the tourists in a more organic fashion, rather than by assignment. I won't lie, they are a big part of the appeal of the island, but hardly the only one!"

"I... uhm... hmm," Loreli said, chastened. "I guess... education? Wait, the cab driver said he was a professor-"

"Ah, yes, Doctor Mahico. Lovely chap."

"Doctor?!"

"Of Letters! My heavens, remarkable fellow. You may well have some classes with him. University Ilsa Calamata is the main scholastic body in these waters, more than eleven thousand full-time students. Your education, during your stay here, will be partially paid for by the Resort, fully one hundred percent of your first year and fifty percent of each year thereafter, which is why finding gainful employment here is so important."

"So all the freaks and hypers and wierdos from around the world get to come here, get free room and board and education in a tropical paradise?"

Henckel smiled. "That is a very... modern way of putting it, I suppose."

"What's the catch?"

He cocked his head. "I beg your pardon?"

"What do you all get out of it? What's the angle for bringing us here?"

"My dear," he said thoughtfully, "I once again think you misunderstand. We're not collecting the unused dregs from the rest of the world; we are, rather, blessed enough to lure such wonderful people here, and create a place they'd love to call home."

Loreli chewed hir lip thoughtfully. "So this has nothing to do with... what I can do."

"I wouldn't quite go THAT far, miss," he said with a knowing wink. "As I said, it is a substantial part of the island's appeal, and one that, these days, is perhaps sorely needed in this world. That was the, ah, catalyst for your journey here, undoubtedly, but the onus is upon you to convince yourself. Tell me, knowing who you are, can you honestly tell me you would feel MORE at home where you came from?"

"Don't you mean what I can do?"

"Who you are," he said with gravity. "I can read exceptionally fast and multi-task quite well, but that is not who I am."

Loreli looked out the window. Palm trees were bending gently in the breeze. Shi could just make out the sprawling metropolis of the Ilsa Calamata city, which was also named Ilsa Calamata and so was generally simply known as the city. Shi could see the beaches, and the boats moored in the harbor, and another plane landing, and in hir minds eye, she could see the thousands of smiling, peaceful faces shi'd passed on hir way here.

Blessed indeed...

"No," shi whispered.

"Well, then," Mr. Henckel kindly, "we can proceed with getting you a room assignment, and an escort, and-"

"A what?!"

"Not that kind, not that kind! A tour guide. Someone to show you around for a few days and help you acclimate. Many customs may seem strange to you."

"I saw a jogger on the way over here. Meh said hir name was Melinda. Shi was just... jogging!"

"Indeed. Would you rather shi only jogged in hir living room with the blinds closed?"

"No!"

"Then I think we see eye to eye on the subject of customs," he said. "Your escort can also show you the island's amenities, potential places of employment, show you around the campus... oh, there is so much to see here! Really, quite marvelous! Spared no expense!"

Loreli fiddled with hir satchel. "And... I won't have to... uhm... be one of the grrls here like I saw in the lobby?"

Henckel heaved a sigh, as though he were repeating himself to a toddler. "That choice is, of course, entirely up to you. The Escorts," he said, clearly capitalizing, "do receive many perks, such as extended leave, excellent pay and increased educational support, in accordance with the requirements of their work, but I assure you, it is simply ONE option." He coughed politely, though, and fiddled with a small sheaf of papers. "There's obviously far too much to explain at such a cursory initial meeting. There's an informational seminar this Thursday, where you can learn all about it. There will be pie. That said, for someone with your... qualifications, it would be extremely remiss of me not to beg you to consider it, when you feel you've seen and experienced enough to make an informed decision."

"My parents told you a lot, did they?"

"Somewhat, somewhat. There were also some news articles..."

Loreli sighed and thumped hir chair. "Gods, ONE time, I swear, ONE time..." Shi broke off when shi realized Henckel was laughing. "Something funny?"

"Not at all, not at all," he said, trying to keep his grin under control. "So many ladies have sat in that chair with such similar responses. This isn't the Dark Ages, miss de Seuss; you're not being bundled off to a convent to hide your shame, or to protect your family's honor. They believe, as do we, of course, that this is the best place for you to find yourself, and find your true calling. Bit by bit, year by year, airplane by airplane, attitudes are changing the world over, and we like to think it's for the better."

"Well... good," shi sulked, watching a happy couple stroll past the window. The stocky, barrel-chested bull looked like a disgruntled police officer or possibly a disgruntled drug dealer, face gnarled and well-worn and at first glance a little frightening. The expression of almost puppyish delight he was aiming at the comically-voluptuous vixen on his arm was so jarring, so out-of-place, that for a moment it didn't even register.

He just looks so... happy. And so does she.

"I think you're beginning to understand," Mr. Henckel murmured, following hir gaze. "Some guests undoubtedly come here for, ah, salacious reasons, but would you like to know something? Many come here simply to be around them, to indulge in their companionship, to briefly live a life where the people they admire so dearly can themselves feel comfortable and peaceful. That man who walked by, I approved his application personally. Father of four, divorced, and he quite politely requested no, ah, accompaniment for the duration of his visit, and yet within hours of his checking in he and Yolanda were sharing cocktails by the pool, and she's hardly left his side since. I understand they are taking poetry classes together in the evenings."

Loreli shook hir head. "This is... quite a place," eventually managed.

"Not what you expected? Better, I hope."

"Much!"

"Marvellous!" he said, clapping his tiny hands together. "Really splendid. Now, for room assignments, you'll be located for now in the Sunset Lodge, located on the western escarpment near the saltwater pools. Do you swim?"

"Uhm, not much."

"Splendid! You'll get to start. We do have single suites available, unless you would rather have a roommate assigned to you."

"No!"

"As I thought, most new folks like their privacy." He tapped away at his computer. "Let's see, 616 is free. Top floor, view overlooking the bay. Kitchenette, as well. As part of your stipend, you will be given a food allowance, to be spent either on groceries or in the various food service establishments here at the Resort, and as a full-time resident you will have access to the staff commissary, day and night."

"Super," shi said weakly, feeling as though the floor were dropping away beneath hir. It was all happening so fast, and shi wasn't even sure what it was yet!

He tapped a few more commands and a little black rectangle on his desk that shi had assumed to be another book spat out a little plastic card. "Here is your keycard, as well as your Resort account finances, which for the time being are limited, but should suffice for now. You can use this to get into your apartment, into the gym or the commissary or the casino, though we do ask you to review the dress code requirements before you go there. This will also get you preferrential access in town at most retail outlets. They do so love to make our girls feel happy."

Fingers trembling, shi reached out and picked it up. Living at home a month before, shi had to fight to get a queen size bed for hir bedroom, hir parents insisting hir single was more than big enough. Shi had to pay for Netflix out of hir own pocket, and shi still had to obey the 'five servings of veggies before dessert' rule. And now? A keycard to hir own apartment overlooking a tropical beach, that also provided free food. It was a lot to process! The plastic felt icy cold and terribly heavy in hir palm.

A tiny grey paw touched hir shoulder and shi bit back a scream, body stiffening like steel. "...ck!" shi choked.

"Sorry!" he said apologetically. "I did not mean to startle you. You just seemed a little... dazed."

"I am," shi said, staring once again at the keycard.

"Perfectly normal. We won't ask a thing of you for a day or two. Resort policy. You are, for all intents and purposes, a guest with exceptionally good credit. Go for a dip! Go shopping! Meet some of the locals, or some of the Resort employees. Go hike the mountains, or rent a golf cart and zip all the way around the island. There's cooking classes, pottery classes, dance classes... the schedules are posted online. There's ever so much to do!"

"You should do the commercials for this place," shi said with a wan smile.

"Pshaw," he grinned, waving hir off. "No-one wants to see me when there's so many more photogenic possibilities!"

Loreli squeezed his hand, which was still on hir shoulder. "Thank you."

"Hmm? Oh, just doing my job. Personnel Management. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it, eh?"

"No, not that. This," shi said, gesturing out the window. "All this."

Mr. Henckel actually looked bashful. "Would that I were the one to thank there, miss de Seuss. No, I am merely a humble employee. Your suite comes with some modest furnishings and accoutrements, and one of them is a book about the history of the island, and the Resort itself."

Something tweaked a memory. "Who wrote it?"

"I believe you met him."

"Meh?!"

"Just don't call him Doctor, and you two will get along fine," he laughed. "He has been a huge proponent of the island's quest to act as a socially equitable utopia. For obvious reasons, his picture is not on the back of the book."

Loreli grinned. "Might scare a few tourists off."

"Quite."

They were silent for a long moment, the nervously excited antelope fiddling with hir keycard, the elderly manager fiddling with his fingers in that way squirrels find so engrossing. "Am I supposed to sign something?" shi asked at last.

"Ah, no. There is just... well..." he cleared his throat.

"Spit it out, pops," shi said with a gleam in hir eye.

"Well, ah, I am just curious, as is the rest of the board of directors, about the precise nature of your... predicament."

"Didn't get the hint from the newspaper? Or my parents?"

"The hint, yes," he said meaningfully, "though your parents were strangely loathe to discuss it in detail. Your mother said you'd be more than happy to show us when you got here."

Shi bristled. "Oh, she DID, did she?"

Mr. Henckel seemed to droop reproachfully. "A little consternation is appropriate, miss de Sess, but you know they meant well. That said, yes, they weren't... specific."

"And you want to see for yourself what you've just invited to live on your island?"

"Who, not what," he said quickly. "Remember that. It's just a special case, miss, and I will be expected to provide answers to my superiors."

Loreli sighed and rummaged in hir backpack. "You said I can buy clothes with this card, right?"

"Absolutely! There's more than forty boutiques in the city, and-"

"Good, cause I only brought three outfits, and I'm about to ruin one of them."

"-and they will accept credit at most, and... I beg your pardon?"

Shi dropped hir satchel to the floor and carefully kicked it behind hir, stretching out a little bit in the chair. "You want specifics, or not?" shi asked, feeling that ribald blush rising in hir cheeks again. Been a while since anyone wanted to see this on purpose!

"Er... yes?"

"Then you might want to take a few steps back," Loreli said, taking a deep, deep breath.

---

Ms Lynx smiled politely at the coongrrl again, apologizing for the wait; the grrl just shrugged and went back to hir magazine, one hand patting quite unapologetically at a sweatpant-clad sheath that could have been mistaken for a mini-keg. Ms Lynx had seen hundreds, if not thousands of girls and grrls and boys pass through her waiting room, and the endless variety never failed to intrigue. She pulled up the coon's Facespace page once again on her computer, and sifted through dozens of racy pictures. Into rubber, I see, the matronly feline thought, her tail swishing.

There was a loud thump from Mr. Henckel's office. Her ears perked up, but there was no cry for assistance or muttered high-speed swearing. There did seem to be a lot of rustling going on. Maybe they were moving some books around?

Another thump rattled her desk, and this time there was a cry of alarm. If anything, it sounded like they were rearranging his desk! She picked up the receiver of her phone and paged him. "Mr. Henckel? Is everything all right?"

A few moments later, the strange, soft noises ceased, leaving only the unnerving background creak of the building around them settling, something it hadn't done in years. There was no reply from the phone, so she stood up, smiled to the coongrrl again, and walked over to the door. Three qiuck, businesslike raps of her knuckles. "Sir? Is everything all right?"

"FINE!" came the distant, muted cry.

"Are you sure?"

"MARVELLOUS!"

"Well... ok. You sound funny."

"NOTHING! I TRIPPED!"

She was just sitting back down when one final thump nearly knocked her nameplate off of her desk, and the coongrrl out of hir seat. "What the..." she muttered, getting up and heading for her boss's office. She turned the handle, but it wouldn't budge. "Sir, are you all right?"

For several seconds there was no reply, and she was about to pull out her key and properly investigate when the door opened and a smiling Loreli walked out. "We're fine!" shi said, holding up her keycard. "Multipass!" The coongrrl snorted, trying to suppress hir giggling approval.

"What happened in there? Are you both all right? Weren't you wearing shorts before?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Excuse me, I have to find the Sunset Lodge." Shi stepped around Ms Lynx and trotted away, a spring in hir step, pink skirt flapping gaily around hir thighs.

The frustrated lynx watched hir go, then shoved Mr. Henckel's door opened and stepped inside. "Sir, what was going-" she started, but trailed off.

Henckel's office had always been a mess. From the day he'd started, books and papers had started to pile up at a rate that the cleaners simply couldn't cope with. In the end, they'd given up and allowed the feisty squirrel to keep track of his own mess, and it had achieved it's own particular sort of order. That order had all but been obliterated.

His huge, heavy desk had been flipped completely over and shoved up against the far wall. A huge circle of bare carpet was visible, surrounded by an enormous ring of piled-up books; it looked like some sort of written-word crater. In the middle of that bare patch, the trusty club chair had been flattened and splintered.

"Sir?"

"Here!" he waved, and she realized he was standing on his desk, hunched over so small she'd mistaken him for his monitor.

"Sir... what HAPPENED?"

Mr. Henckel was just staring out the window, fingers twiddling. "Shi's going to need a bigger suite," he said absently.