Looking To The Stars: Episode 05 (Mario & Luigi)
#6 of Looking To The Stars (Archive)
* * = Action and/or stage direction
{ } = Tone of voice
[] = Sound effects
- - = Time Lapse
( ) = My and the character's thoughts
All three: Alec, Taiga, and Kira doing/saying/thinking something in unison
So... anyway... Lights, Camera, Crazy Town!
*Alec lets out a murr as he feels Taiga's gentle paw rest against his cheek, Alec's own paw against Taiga's chest*
Taiga: *looks into Alec's eyes* A... Are you sure about this?
Alec: I... I don't know. *breathes a little harder and closes his eyes halfway* This... I didn't think I would... I mean... with you... I....
Taiga: *places a claw lightly onto Alec's lips* Hush... I know what you're trying to say.
Alec: *grips at the blankets under him, breathing a little harder* I... I want to... be with you.
Taiga: *leans forward a little, closer to kissing Alec* I want you too. I'm tired of them holding us back.
Alec: Oh Taiga, I've wanted this f-for so long.
Taiga: So long? Like... how long?
Alec: Ever s-since I saw you... when I f-first came to this p-place.... I wanted you... and only you....
Taiga: Well after a-all this time, you'll finally get your wish. *places his claws lightly onto Alec's left thigh*
Alec: We're finally t-together. I'm... k-kinda nervous.
Taiga: Why would that be?
Alec: B-Because.... *blushes brightly and lowers his gaze from Taiga's*
Taiga: *smiles and places a claw gently under Alec's chin, lifting up his head and returning their view* Please... tell me Alec. Tell me. I won't laugh at you.
Alec: I'm... I've never done this... *blushes more* I've... this... this will be... my... my first time... ever.
Taiga: *smiles and licks at Alec's lips* This will be my first time as well. But I promise... this first time... will be your best time.
Alec: .... Heh... Hah... *bursts out laughing*
Me: GAAAAAHHHH!! Cut! Cut! Cut!
*studio bell rings*
Me: *jumps out of director's seat* What the hell Alec?! What is so damn funny?!
Alec: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! *grips his stomach and keeps on laughing* It's that line! It's too damn funny!
Me: You mean because Taiga is a total whore.
Taiga: Hey! I'm not a whore! Kira is!
Me: True, but she isn't here right now so now the jokes aim at you.
Taiga: What about Alec!?
Me: Only when you're gone.
Taiga: *growls*
Me: Look, we have an interview at five, so let's hurry this up.
Taiga: Whatever...
Alec: *giggles to himself* Okay. Okay. *slowly lets out a calm breath* I'm okay. I'm okay.
Me: Okay. Take four! Lights! Camera! Action!
Taiga: *looks at Alec* Please... tell me Alec. Tell me.
Alec: I'm... I've never done this... And... I... heh... Hahahaha!
Me: CUT! Damn it all to hell Alec! *throws the script into the air and jumps out of my seat* Screw this! Take 5 everyone! *rubs my temples*
Taiga: We should just... do the interview right?
Me: *pulls out a pocket watch* Might as well before Mr. Laugh Out Loud over there gives me a migraine. *presses the button*
-----o0o-----
-12 hours later-
-----0o0-----
Alec: *yawns* This is Alec.
Taiga: This is Taiga.
Kira: And this is Kira.
Alec: And this is Looking To The Stars... on a more... calmer note. And by that I mean we have installed a new idiotic program from Windows 90X.
Me: Wait... we did what now?
Alec: I never told you?
Me: You idiot, why 90X?
Alec: We're on a budget.
Me: Screw the budget! I need ratings!
Alec: .... Little Kuriboh dude? Are you serious?
Me: Hey! Don't blame me if his work is better than mine!
_ Awkward silence._
Me: ... Wait....
Alec: Anyway, we will be interviewing The Plumber Brothers known as Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.
Taiga: Woah! Woah! Woah! Th... their last names... are Mario? Seriously?
Alec: Well they are brothers. J... Just talk to Nintendo about that. Not me.
Me: And seriously... them both? I may need ratings but I'm not suicidal.
Alec: This is the only way we can pay off those debts of yours.
Me: Huh? You mean the ones with Dis--?
Alec: *tackles Me* Don't say that name! It's taboo!
Me: *growls and throws Alec off* Fine you fuzz ball! Sheesh!
Kira: Anyway... here comes Mario and Luigi! *presses a button on a remote*
*A giant portal suddenly appears over the red couch as a huge bed falls out of the gateway along with Bowser and Peach right on top of it*
All three: .............
Peach & Bowser: .............
Alec: .... Hey Kira, looks like you have competition.
Kira: What!?
Taiga: So that explains where those Koopalings came from. Bowser Jr. too.
Peach: The heck... Taiga?!
Bowser: You know this dragon!?
Peach: Uh....
Everyone: *glares at Taiga*
Taiga: .... What? I get around. Sheesh.
Alec: Um... right. *snatches the remote from Kira* Let's try this again. *presses the button*
*Another portal opens up on the other side of the studio and Mario and Luigi are dropped onto the floor*
Mario: Mama Mia! What-a just happened here-a!?
Alec: Oh cut the shtick already!
Both: *stands up and dusts themselves off while looking around the room*
Taiga: Welcome, the both of you, to Looking To The Stars!
Mario: *looks over to the side* .... PEACH?!
Peach: *looks at Bowser (who is under her) then back at Mario* Erm... I can explain.
Bowser: {sarcastically} Nah. I can explain. Simply put, thank you kindly Mario, cause your Princess was in MY castle having a grand old time!
Mario: *glares* You son of a bitch!
Bowser: What?! She was getting old of you going through ten thousand castles just to find the one that can be seen from f-ing space! Get a clue!
Alec: *Face paw* Why me....
Luigi: *looks up* Kira!?
Kira: ... Crap...!
Alec: *death-glares Kira*
Kira: *chuckles nervously* Heheh... eh....
Taiga: Oh come on! That's Luigi for f-ing sake! Have you no shame?!
Luigi: Uh... I'm right here.
Kira: I couldn't help it okay! I was bored beyond belief and it was during the summertime. That's mating season for lions!
Alec: Oh yeah. But Luigi!? Why not Mario!? Why not Bowser!? Honestly, I would have even picked King Wart from Super Mario 2!
Everyone: WWWOOOOOOOOOOAAHHH!
Luigi: Wow....
Kira: Are you serious?
Alec: Heck no, I'm just saying.
Taiga: Uh... right... anyway... just... wow.
Alec: Look! Let's just get this over with okay?! *grumbles* So then... *looks at some papers* Let's start with Mario.
Luigi: Hey! Why is it always Mario!? Why is he always first!? He isn't God you know! He shouldn't be first like every single time! I should be first for once! I may be the brother but I'm still just as important as him! I can do everything that he can and even better cause I can actually float like Yoshi does in Super Smash Brothers Brawl! And I have some games of my own too! Two of them! I deserve to go first! I should--
Alec: You should shut the hell up you useless green standby of a shadow!
Luigi: .... *sniffle*
Alec: So then... Mario, how does it feel to be as famous as Sonic?
Mario: What?! Are you kidding me?! I'm ten years older than Sonic and gets way more ladies than him!
Alec: Like who?
Mario: Peach, Daisy, Pauline, Rosalina, erm... uh... umm... Tiff... any?
Alec: Who's Tiffany?
Mario: Well how many girls are in the Sonic series then? Huh?
Alec: *looks over at Taiga*
Taiga: .... *looks at Alec* Huh? Oh! *clears his throat* Well there's Sally Acorn, Rouge the Bat, Amy Rose, and Cream the Rabbit. *murrs happily* Also, there's Blaze the Cat, Wave the Swallow, Bunnie Rabbot, Maria the Wolf, and Fiona Fox, Shahra the Ring Genie, Merna the Hedgehog, Sonia the Hedgehog, Vanilla the Rabbit, and oh gawd there's even--
Kira: Taiga... you're... erm...you're starting to tent.
Taiga: Huh? W-What?
Kira: *points under the table*
Taiga: ...Ohh.... Excuse me. *gets up and runs off-stage*
Alec: He forgot Cosmo the Seedrian and Tikal the Echidna. And a few others too. But either way, Sonic has WAY more ladies than you.
Mario: None of them are human! I meant HUMAN girls! Name ONE human girl in the Sonic series!
Alec: Maria Robotnik, Princess Elise III, Helen from Sonic X, Princess Sara Freedom... May I go on?
Mario: ....
Alec: That's what I thought. Moving on!
Taiga: *runs back on-stage* Sorry for the wait. ^^"
Kira: *whispers to Alec* What are we going to do? We were going to interview Mario and Luigi, but what about Peach and Bowser?
Alec: *Starts thinking*
Kira: Well...?
Alec: *looks at Bowser* Hey Koopa, ever wanted to get with a lioness?
Kira: What?!
Taiga: Hey wait a minute!
Alec: *looks at Taiga* Don't you want to get with Peach one last time for the memories?
All four of them: .........
*all four of them quickly walk off-stage*
Alec: .... *sighs* Furries.
Mario: Does that happen a lot?
Alec: Only on Saturdays. Anyway, let's get this over with. So Mario, tell me when you got started.
Mario: Well I guess it all started back when--
Luigi: Hold on. I still say that I should get the next question. I am not just a damn standby. I'm not a stunt double. I am an actual Mario bother! Otherwise, I wouldn't still be here. So I still say that--
Alec & Mario: Shut up!
Luigi: Make me!
Alec: *smirks wide*
Luigi: .... I'll be good now.
Alec: Good boy. Now then Mario, what were you saying?
Mario: Well, as you should know, my original name was "Mr. Video", and I was to be used in all kinds of video games that Miyamoto developed.
Alec: And it says that you used to also be known as "Jumpman" when you debuted in the arcade game Donkey Kong.
Mario: It was a VERY dull and uncreative day.
Alec: Welcome to Japan?
All: ... *bursts out laughing*
Alec: Okay, anyway, it says that you were a carpenter that mistreated an ape--
Mario: That is a lie!
Alec: .... And because of it, the ape, known as Donkey Kong, thus became your main enemy.
Mario: Another lie! He became my enemy because he stole Lady!
Alec: *stands out of his seat and points at Mario with his other paw slammed on the table* OBJECTION!!!
Mario: On what grounds!?
Alec: What evidence do you have that you aren't the one that abused and beaten DK!?
Mario: Simple! I was a carpenter back then! What would I need an ape for!?
Alec: You'd be surprised how useful a little ape is... with four hands and a tail!
Mario: Urk!
Alec: So admit it! You abused DK and turned him into the bad guy!
Luigi: *suddenly runs between the middle of them while wearing a green attorney suit instead of his normal clothing* HOLD IT!!!
Alec: Wait what?
Luigi: My brother would never abuse DK!
Alec: And what evidence do you have on such a thing!?
Taiga: Hold on! *runs into the room while wearing the clothes of a judge and holding a gavel* Okay! The judge is here! *stands behind a counter* You may continue with your claim!
Alec: Wait... what?!
Luigi: *places a briefcase on the table in front of them* If you recall the case OF Mario's rocketing career, there was a meeting that day to go through some interesting details. The meeting being on--
Alec: OBJECTION!!! That meeting has no connection to the case whatsoever, you are merely talking about how his career took forth!
Luigi: I will prove to you and everyone here, if you let me finish, that Mario is innocent of violence and abuse against DK and that DK is the bad guy in this!
Alec: Everyone...? Anyway, Your Honor, I object to this! He's claiming that he hasn't hit DK at all!
Taiga: *rubs his chin lightly and thinks* Hmm... objection denied. Let the defendant speak.
Alec: Say what?!
Luigi: Thank you, Your Honor.
Alec: *looks to the side and notices the large crowd of people watching intensely* Wait a minute... when did this happen?
Luigi: *opens his briefcase and pulls out some papers as he shuffles them* Now like I was saying, the meeting, being on 1981, was about the making of the first game. It would be based off a comic strip from the popular 1930's character, Popeye. However, it didn't come to be. So Nintendo quickly decided that it would be best to take up the opportunity to create new characters that could then be marketed and used in later games. It would be settled that Mario, who was originally known as Jumpman, would be Popeye, DK would be Bluto, and Lady, who was later known as Pauline, would become Olive Oyl.
Alec: But you forgot one little thing.
Luigi: G-Gaah!?
Random audience of people: *gasps and starts talking amongst each other*
Taiga: *bangs gravel on the desk* Order! Order in the court!
Alec: They made Bluto become the ape, yes! But Mario's and your creator, Shigeru Miyamoto, said something that proves one of my claims! If I remember correctly, he said, "Nothing that would be too evil or repulsive"!
Luigi: That doesn't prove anything!
Alec: There was more to it than that! It was also put in his interview that Bluto would become an ape, AND the PET of the main character! Am I wrong!?
Audience: *gasps*
Luigi: O-Objection! This was not put in the interview!
Alec: Oh I might add that it was.
Luigi: Well don't forget this! The idea was considered a love triangle. So where does the abuse fit in!?
Alec: EEK! Uh... (D-Damn it. Where DOES abuse fit in that?)
Kira: *is standing besides Alec* Don't forget Al!
Alec: Hey! When did you get here!?
Kira: There's still one good piece of evidence IN that love triangle.
Alec: Huh? Really?
Kira: Think outside the box and use what Luigi is saying against him.
Alec: *nods* I'll try.
Taiga: *bangs gravel on desk* Order! Order please! Okay Alec, please finish your accusation of said defendant. How does this love triangle prove that Mario was the one that abused DK?
Alec: Heh heh heh~
Luigi: *gulps* W-W-What's so funny?
Alec: The idea isn't how, but why and when. Like for instance, why would an ape fall in love for a human?
Luigi: Remember King Kong?
Alec: I mean besides that jackass.
Taiga: Get to the point.
Alec: *rubs the back of his neck* Heh... sorry Your Honor. Anyway, the idea is he didn't at first. *slams his paws onto the desk* It was out of revenge! The idea was that DK would get revenge on Mario by stealing his girlfriend! Thus, the plot for Donkey Kong was inspired! It became a love triangle AFTER he realized how much he liked Pauline!
Luigi: OBJECTION!!! I object to these horrid lies!
Taiga: Overruled!
Alec: You just can't accept what's in front of you! And to add, why would an ape even BOTHER falling in love with a human!?
Luigi: OBJECTION!!! There have been many times when random wild animals come into contact with humans!
Alec: Yes. That is true. But never fell in love with them. And also, this happened in the middle of a CITY! That ape would have gotten chased away the second it reached the borderline! Let alone the middle of the city with how big he is!
Luigi: G-Gaah!
Taiga: Wait, so that means...?
Alec: That's right! He needed a way inside without striking attention! In order words, he needed an owner! And he HAD an owner, Mario Mario!
Audience: *mumbles to each other loudly*
Taiga: *bangs the gravel onto the desk* Order! I need order!
Luigi: HOLD IT!!! That doesn't prove at all if it was Mario!
Taiga: That is true. This doesn't prove that Mario is the owner of DK.
Alec: No. *holds up a piece of paper* But this does! Its papers proving to the court that he is, in fact, the owner! He bought DK from the black market!
Luigi: Wait, say wha!?
Alec: So not only is his name here, but so are his fingerprints! *looks at Mario* Nice screw-up with not wearing gloves.
Mario: Grrrr!
Luigi: Well, what about abusing DK?! Yes, Donkey Kong did escape and did kidnap Mario's girlfriend, Lady! But that doesn't prove at all about the abuse!? Why would Mario need a reason TO abuse DK!
Alec: A-Ack! A r-r-reason!?
Luigi: And you don't have one!
Alec: There has to be a reason! After all, it's not just Donkey Kong! It's Yoshi and Bowser as well!
Luigi: OBJECTION!!! Your Honor, now he is just spitting wild claims! Now he's bringing other characters into this! Bowser wasn't brought into the series until 1985 and Yoshi didn't make an appearance either until 1990!
Taiga: That is true. Okay Alec, what do you say to this?
Alec: *growls sharply* (I have to think of something. I have to prove him guilty.)
Luigi: *smiles* (It looks like the Defense has won. Now I have to up and end this and everyone will see just how amazing and important I am to the Mario series. Heck, I'll even surpass Sonic, Samus, and even Link.)
Kira: Come on Alec, you have to think of something. Out of everything he uses or things in his past, you have to think of something before the verdict is called! Hurry or Mario will get away scot-free!
Alec: (Darn it... he... he might not have a motive. I'm going to lose. Unless... wait a minute!)
Taiga: Well then, if the prosecutor as nothing to say, then I declare the defendant--
Alec: OBJECTION!!! I have the answer!
Taiga and Luigi: R-R-Really?!
Alec: It's been right in front of us the entire time!
Kira: I knew you could do it, Alec! Go ahead and let them have it!
Luigi: No! Judge, do something!
Taiga: *shakes his head* Objection Sustained. Alec, please continue.
Alec: *thumbs up to Kira* Alright.... *looks over at the Mario Bros. and slams his paws down onto the table* I'm willing to settle a deal. If I can say as to why Mario wanted or needed to mistreat and hit Yoshi and DK, then you must give in. Understand?
Mario: We would never--
Luigi: Deal!
Mario: W-What?!
Luigi: Trust me brother, there's no way at this point that he can do anything to us.
Alec: *smirks* During all those times, Mario was high.
Luigi: Gah!
Alec: It's bad enough that Mario eats mushrooms, but which kinds does he eat!?
Luigi: Uh... Uh... well....
Alec: With DK, young Donkey Kong was mistreated while he was a pet during Mario's career as a carpenter! With Yoshi, he hits Yoshi over the head while forcing him to eat enemies and different objects! But can you deny that at certain times in these events, he ate or was eating a mushroom!?
Luigi: Well... O-Objection?
Taiga: Denied.
Alec: So from this point of view, *slams his paws onto the desk* Mario didn't need a motive since he was Under The Influence!
Luigi: Under The Influence!?
Alec: That's right! Mario was doing drugs while abusing both DK and Yoshi!
Luigi: .... *gulps*
Alec: Well? Am I right?
Luigi: Uh... *looks at Mario*
Mario: *looks back at Luigi* Don't look at me like that! Do something! Anything! My career is on the line!
Luigi: W-Well what about Bowser!?
Alec: Yeah, Bowser doesn't even exist in this case. That was a complete mistake on my part.
Luigi: Prove it!
Alec: *holds up a paper with Bowser's handwriting on it* We forced him to cough up everything he knows, and then sign this contact saying he had nothing to do with this case.
Luigi: What?! When?!
Alec: He's right outside the building dude with Peach. Seriously.
Luigi: .... Dang it.
Taiga: Is there anything else the Defense would like to say to court?
Alec: *eye twitches* (I didn't realize this was a courtroom.)
Luigi: The Defense... the Defense... *sighs* The Defense rests.
Mario: Say what!?
Taiga: Well then, this court--
Alec: Not a court!
Taiga: *growls* This... television network studio....
Alec: Better.
Taiga: *huffs* Has found the defendant, Mr. Mario Mario, on the counts of drugs, animal abuse, and just plain existing altogether... GUILTY!!
Audience: *cheers and throws confetti around in the room*
Alec: (Now that I think about it, when were we allowed to have a live studio audience?)
Taiga: The court--
Alec: *glares*
Taiga: I mean, the studio network, herby condemns Mario to 30 years of jail time without parole and 10 years of Community Service with a fine of 2 million--
Alec: 4 million!
Taiga: FIVE million dollars. *bangs gravel on the desk* With that, the court is adjourned.
Mario: What do you mean no bail! I'm Mario you fucktard!
Taiga: And. And I'm the guy who couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't, and just don't plain give a shit.
Mario: *whispers to Luigi* No wonder that Total Drama Guy gets more fans than you. What's his name... Tyler?
Luigi: Who's Tyler?
Mario: Exactly!
Taiga: Can someone escort the defendant out of here?
Random police guy: *grabs Mario and drags him off stage*
Mario: I will get my revenge! Do you hear me, Alec! I will get my revenge! *is dragged off-stage*
Alec: .... Is he serious?
Kira: Do you care?
Alec: Not really.
Kira: Okay then, who wants ice cream!?
Everyone on-stage: I do! I do!
Me: We... just ripped of... Phoenix Wright.... *groans*
Daichi: What's your problem?
Luna: Yeah, it shouldn't be that big of a problem. Consider it a fan-fiction like the rest of your pointless crap.
Me: *rubs my temples* Just... do the copyrights!
Luna: *scoffs* Right. *picks up the clipboard* Alec the wolf, Taiga the dragon, and Kira the lioness all belong to Thrillseeker who is also known as Kunai994.
Me: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, and the mentioned Donkey Kong and Yoshi are all owned and belongs to Shigeru Miyamoto, Nintendo®, and the Mario franchise.
Daichi: All of the jokes, gags, sick puns, and dumb ideas were all thought up right off the bat. If any of these look stolen, overused, negative to the company, or racist/sexist/etc in any way possible, it is completely by accident and thus should be reported to us so that it may be changed or deleted.
Us three: Hope you enjoyed the interview and I hope you will tune in again for another episode of... Looking To The Stars!