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'He deserved that,' I'd thought to myself as both EMT and security personnel left the building. The beating that the red echidna had received at the hands of his girlfriend was fierce, to say the least. The effect of the beat down on the crowd was entertaining as well, and had brought a much needed smile to my face.

I didn't smile so much anymore. I needed release from this sadness that threatened to rip my body and soul apart, but nobody would listen to me. But tonight... tonight I would change all that. Tonight I would release this sadness, perhaps even come to grips with myself. It was time to let go.

The original song I had planned... I wouldn't be able to perform that song tonight. I wasn't in an Atreyu mood, and besides, my original guitarist was sick and couldn't play. I'd have to sing via synth and reverb, which was fine by me.

I couldn't ask Sonic to play for me... that faker would no doubt tell me no. The batidna had agreed to play, though, and for that I was grateful.

My nerves were shot. I was ready, but I wasn't ready. The words kept repeating themselves in my head, and I made sure not to mix them up. The last thing I needed to do was stumble over the words that would finally give my soul some peace.

I was just behind the curtain, waiting for the emcee to give me the introduction. There was a crew cleaning up the blood from the stage, so I had a little time to try to calm my nerves.

A tap on my shoulder caused me to turn around, and I saw Sonic and Stealth standing behind me. Stealth didn't have anything to say, but the faker did.

"Stealth told me you needed a guitarist. I'm willing to play for you."

I merely blinked at him. I guess there was shock registered on my face, because he reached out and patted me on the shoulder.

"Just because me and you fought at one time, it doesn't mean I'll always be your enemy. People change."

I cleared my throat, trying to get the lump out of it. "... thank you, Sonic." I paused, fearing my voice would shake and give away my emotion before it was time. "Did Stealth tell you what the song was?"

Sonic nodded. "It's different from what's on the program."

I turned from him and faced the curtain. "This song has more meaning. It can do more for my soul."

He didn't say anything in reply, but I could feel that he understood what I was saying. The fact that he understood was comfort enough. I needed nobody's pity.

On the other side of the curtain, I could hear the emcee adjusting the microphone. The crew had finished cleaning, I guess. The man cleared his throat and tapped the mic to get the attention of the crowd.

"Well, that was... er, interesting. Next up, we have Shadow the hedgehog performing Atreyu's song Honor. Let's give him a round of applause!"

The crowd roared its applause and the curtain rolled back, revealing the three of us just standing there. I calmed my shakes with a deep breath, then approached the microphone.

"I'm Shadow the hedgehog." My voice came out unsteady, and very much unlike me. I cleared my throat and spoke again. "I know the itinerary says I'm supposed to perform some Atreyu for you tonight, but I feel that such a performance wouldn't do me the kind of justice I need."

I could see the people in the crowd looking at each other, and a low murmur began to get louder. Like they couldn't believe I had changed my mind or something. I cleared my throat to quiet them, then took a deep breath while looking at the floor. I didn't know if I could do it.

I took another deep breath and looked out into the crowd. The audience's eyes stared back at me, waiting for the music. I mustered as much of a smile as I could get, then turned to Sonic and Stealth, signaling that they could begin playing.

Sonic's fingers traveled over the strings, playing notes and chords in a controlled rhythm I didn't know he had. I had only ever heard the song played with scratches and synths, so hearing a plain guitar/drums combo was very different. Still, the tune was recognizable, and I could easily distinguish when I was supposed to enter, and what words I was supposed to sing.

As I took my final deep breath to begin singing, my mind wandered to the memories I still held of the young girl for which I was singing. 'Maria, this one's for you.'

" When this began, I had nothing to say and I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me/I was confused, and I let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind inside of me..."

I needn't have worried so much. The music flowed, and the words flowed. The emotion flowed into the words from my soul, and my eyes closed as I spoke and rapped. I was releasing myself.

" But all the vacancy the words revealed is the only real thing that I've got left to feel/Nothing to lose, just stuck hollow and alone/And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own..."

Memories started to pour into my mind while my eyes were closed. Specifically memories of the final run from the G.U.N. soldiers while I tried to save Maria, but I knew eventually more memories would find me.

Still, the chorus of this song would release most of the pain I felt inside. Pain I still felt for failing to save Maria's life that fateful night.

" I wanna heal, I wanna feel, what I thought was never real, I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long/I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real, I wanna find something I've wanted all along... somewhere I belong..."

I couldn't help it. I could feel the tears escaping from my eyes as I sang. More than likely this would be the first time anyone in the audience had even heard of me crying. They didn't understand the amount of pain I held in my heart.

I blamed myself for living all these years. I blamed myself for letting her die. I blamed myself for the robot clones that Eggman had created from me, and for the near destruction of the planet in the Black Doom attack.

Such pain is hard to hold onto for so many years. Every day I felt as if my heart died a little. Every night I struggled to sleep, wanting to die as I slept, and yet wanting to live, to carry on her legacy. I was finally done with such pain, and I wanted it to end.

" And I've got nothing to say, I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face, I was confused/looking everywhere only to find that it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind..."

The way it all was in my mind. I continue to misunderstand and confuse things to this day. Even before I started singing. I had refused to go to Sonic for help in playing this song because I had thought he would have refused. I continue to call him a faker, and yet... I seem to be the one who's the fake.

The words continued to flow from my mouth and from my heart. Of course, they flowed faster than I could explain the memories attached to them. Still, I consider myself lucky to even still have memories.

" What do I have but negativity when I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me/just stuck, hollow and alone, and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own..."

I was tired of the looks, tired of the suspicion. I was tired of the fact that every time Eggman attacked, the people would wonder whose side I was on. I had helped save the planet from destruction during the ARK incident, and still people second-guessed my morals.

" I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real, I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long/I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real, I wanna find something I've wanted all along... somewhere I belong..."

I couldn't hold back the dam anymore. I was crying, angry with myself for holding this in so long. I began screaming the lyrics instead of just singing them, and still it fit.

" I will never know myself unless I do this on my own, and I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed! I will never be anything 'til I break away from me... I will break away, I'll find myself today!"

I wanted the song to end right there, but I had a bit more to sing. I wanted the memories to end, and the tears to stop. I wanted the sorrow to leave me, so that I could start fresh and new, with memories of Maria being something that lived in the back of my mind, no longer controlling my life.

" I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real; I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long!"

I was still screaming the lyrics. I wouldn't have been able to explain why if anyone had ever asked... it just seemed to fit the moment.

" I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real; I wanna find something I've wanted all along! Somewhere I belong!"

Maybe that's all I really needed. Somewhere where I felt that I fit. More than family and friends, more than opportunity and responsibility. More than love, even.

It hurt so much to sing these words, to know that I was taking the stitches out of my wound by hand and allowing my natural healing processes to take over. Whether the wound festered, or healed completely, was up to me.

" I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong! Somewhere I belong!"

That was it... I had done all I could to release the pain I held, and now hopefully the wound could heal and I could start a new life... have a new love...

I wiped my eyes with the back of my arm and replaced the microphone. Even as the audience recovered from their shock and began to clap, I reached into my dead space and retrieved my emerald. I pictured the one place that I could find solace, but before I could mutter the two magic words that might take me there, I felt arms wrap around my torso, a head on my shoulder.

"You're always welcome here, Shadow," I heard whispered into my ear. "Whether you believe it or not, you belong here."

It was Sonic! He released me from his embrace, and I turned, looking him dead in the eyes... eyes that seemed to be filled to the brim with tears. Tears of sympathy, brotherhood, compassion. I couldn't stop myself from smiling, then closed my eyes and muttered those two words that I needed most.

"Chaos Control!"

Now, I stand here aboard the ARK, looking down upon the earth. I'm done mourning for you, Maria... please, live happily in heaven, and I'll do my best so maybe one day I'll be able to join you there.

Sincerely,

Shadow