Know Thy Heart

Story by Tearfeather on SoFurry

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This is a story written from the point of view of my fursona, Isshy Kimia.


So you are probably wondering what was up with that picture of me in nothing at all but a red speedo, ball gag and a dildo, and I feel I should explain but not yet. I don't blame you for wondering. I would wonder too if that was the first thing I saw of me that was shown to the public! Now I can't just tell you, since that would ruin the suspense factor I want to create. I think a story of how that came into existence would be much better and keep you interested, or at least I hope you would be interested enough to stick around.

I'm Isshy Kimia, or just Isshy. I'm a normal college student in my junior year and an aide to one of the professors in the English department. I didn't mind being in his class. It was interesting and I did get the chance to learn a few things without paying for it. Anyway, back on topic. I was in that class, sitting off to the side grading some quiz that the professor had assigned that, by the looks of it, was a pop quiz. Most of the papers were only around 80%, with those few 90% and better by those who did regularly read the text like they were supposed to.

As I was grading the quizzes, I couldn't help but get the feeling I was being watched by someone nearby. Every now and then I would look up, faking a stretch or a yawn of some sort, which was lame I know, and glance around the room for the source of this feeling I was having. Everyone seemed to be listening to the professor explain about the in depth struggles of Dante's Inferno so I went back to the papers with the assumption it was just my imagination getting the better of me somehow. It wouldn't have been the first time after all.

Two or three papers later, I had that same feeling. This time, I just looked up and I noticed one of the students looking in my direction. Sebastian is a timber wolf with white fur with a tint of grey and other colors around his face, ears and back, an adorably fluffy tail I would swear he took the time to lovingly comb each morning, and yellow eyes that spoke of so many things and promised the world. There were of course other things about him, like the fact he was an easy six foot or that he had the wonderful build of a runner. I had noticed him a few times and most of those times had to do with us touching for some reason; A hand touch here when handing in a paper or a brush of the tail while he left the classroom. Always something about him when I was in reach of him.

Staring at him, he smiled in my direction that could have made me swoon, if not for what I saw next. On his eyelids he wrote, in black marker I assume, "Love You." I arched an eyebrow, partially because I couldn't really believe what I was seeing and he couldn't be meaning me, but he nodded slightly to my unspoken question and closed his eyes again. Glancing to the girl next to him, I inclined my head to her and motioned to Sebastian. She noticed the words and giggled, practically tackling the poor wolf in the middle of class. The teacher wasn't too happy about that but cleared his throat and continued to lecture. I snorted and shook my head before looking away to keep grading. Well so much for that failed attempt at an Indiana Jones movie confession of love. It wasn't that I wasn't looking for a relationship; I was just taking my time in finding that right one, male or female.

After class, when the students came to hand in their work, Sebastian still had an excuse to brush his tail against my own tail but now he had that girl clinging to him and gushing about how they would go see a movie and dinner. I offered a friendly smile and he smiled back, but I had a feeling he would try again in some silly way like he had today. It was charming but I didn't think he was serious in the least. I was at least 50% sure he would leave me alone now, but naturally, I was 100% wrong. Go figure.

Two days later, I found out that he had indeed gone on a date with that girl but had made himself so unapproachable it was laughable since he was the most approachable person in the room most of the time. Knowing that, I couldn't help but laugh. Whatever the case, I was sure that I was safe, until I walked into class. There sitting on the desk I usually claimed as my own for the two hour lecture, was a bouquet of red roses. Surely this was a joke and for someone in the class. Approaching it like it was going to lunge to bite my hand; I looked at the roses until I found a card. Plucking it quickly before anyone else noticed, I opened it.

"Isshy, I know you set me up but that wasn't the end. Enjoy these roses. Yours, Sebastian."

I just stared in shock at the card in hand before I looked back at the roses. Red roses mean passion and love for those of you don't know. He was serious and apparently not going to give in. I felt like sulking out of the room but before I could even turn around, Sebastian was there. Like, right behind me there. I looked up at him, since I was shorter than he was by a good foot it felt like in that moment, and offered a smile that probably showed how nervous I was. And I still have the card in my hand!

"Hello Sebastian. Here's your quiz." I scrambled to find it and was very much aware he stood a little too close for comfort since my tail kept brushing against what I hoped was his leg. Finding the quiz, and scattering the rest of them between the desk and the ground, I held it out to him after I managed to turn around in the tight space he had placed me in. He took the paper, didn't even both to look at it, and spoke to me in a low tone close to one you would use with your lover when in a crowded room.

"I hope you enjoy the roses. Also, busy after class? We should get some coffee. Your company will be much more wanted than that girl you sent after me." The timber wolf kept his voice low but there was clear intent to get to know me more than he did already. This was going to be harder than I thought. Shifting back only a fraction, I bumped into the desk. Thankfully there was more than just the two of us in the room by this time which caused the wolf to step back into a more casual and personal space respecting distance. I didn't mind the close space by it had been sudden and startling which made me nervous.

That day it was harder to focus than normal because there was clearly a rumor going on about someone being sweet on me since I had roses, red roses, sitting on the desk's corner. When I left, I took them with me of course, but I made it look like it didn't matter to me. As I was leaving the building to head back to my house, I ran into Kylory. She is a sweetheart anyone could love. Ky is a red panda with a unique coloring. You see, she is rainbow, which everyone assumes was a dye job. I was curious too if she dyed it or not and so finally asked her one day. She said no, she doesn't dye the tail or her hair and I believed her. Kylory headed over to me the moment she noticed the flowers, which were hard to hide. She had something of a smirk on her face which usually meant she was either up to something, or she knew something.

"Hey Isshy. How are you?' She asked, coming to stand next to next so we wouldn't be talking over the flowers.

"I'm alright. How are you?" Might as well be polite and she is a close friend.

"I heard about the roses. They are lovely.' She leaned close to smell them. "My shop delivered them this morning." Of course! I forgot she worked at one of the popular flower shops in town. Explains the smirk then when she first came over.

"Ah, yeah. They are nice huh?' I could feel myself blushing already. "I should be going. Nice to see you Ky. We should hang out sometime soon!" I gave her a hug, which she returned and a smile, before I left. That could have gone so much better and I couldn't figure out why I was so shy about getting flowers. Could I be... nope. Not going there.

Once I was home though, that was a different story. The roses were carefully cut and placed in fresh water with a bit of food in one of those little packets that was conveniently taped to the vase. I planned to put them in my room to avoid questions from my two roommates but as I walked down the hallway to my room, I placed them on the table there and went back for my toast I had started. Then one thing lead to another and I didn't end up bringing those flowers into my room. They got left on the table in the hallway.

I would once in awhile think about the kind of mate I wanted to have in my life and completely without reason, he, being Sebastian, would come up. That usually ended my day dreaming right there. He was a classmate and besides, even if he was flirting with me, he could have any guy, or gal, he wanted on the campus. Everyone loved him and his company. He was so easy going it was almost contagious. I'll be honest; when I was watching the track team practice or compete against another school I wasn't watching the faces usually. Sighing, I realized all this thinking had started to get me a little aroused but I didn't have the time to deal with that for now.

Moving into my bedroom, I stripped out of my clothing and stood before my mirror. I was average, with grey fur, dark grey fur on my feet, arms, shoulders, ears and a dark grey mask on my face which made me get some comments about being a raccoon. It was rather fun to have the nickname Bandit when I was younger, though no one really calls me that now. My eyes were green and my tail was always fluffy with a mix of grey tones. I had a habit of curling my tail around myself when I was nervous or shy but I have tried to break that. Not working as well as I would like it though.

I looked normal in my mirror so I didn't see whatever it was that Sebastian apparently saw. Sighing, I walked away to get a shower. Normally I liked a good hot, leave your skin pink afterwards shower, but this time I took a cooler one. I needed to banish any thoughts of the track team practicing so I could enjoy the shower. The cooler water was nice and I was able to relax in the shower. Scrubbing my tail was always a pain but I endured the torment. It looked like a rat like being soaked but what can you do? I took care to make sure I was nice and clean, not that I had done anything that would require me to need a shower but I always liked to be clean. Never know what could happen after all.

By the time I was done, I could hear the phone ringing. I didn't want to answer it but at the same time I couldn't let the machine get it. For all I knew, it was a very important call for one of my roommates. Giving in, I grabbed a towel and threw open the bathroom door. Nearly slipping on my floor, I grabbed the phone just before the machine was going to get it.

"Hello?" I asked, a little out of breath as I wrapped the towel around my waist after I cradled the phone between my chin and shoulder.

"Isshy?" The voice belonged to Sebastian. I mentally sighed but then remembered that at the beginning of the school semester, my number was given out with the professor's just in case a student had a question about my grading system. The professor didn't want to be asked questions on something he didn't grade and put a lot of faith in his current grader, which was me.

"Yes Sebastian?" I asked, a little hesitantly. I didn't want to know why he had called, especially after today. I really doubted it had anything to do with his grades, since his grades were nearly perfect every time. He claims h doesn't try but if that's so, then he really does have 'beauty and brains'.

"If you are free tonight, let's catch a movie." He said, casually as if we were already best friends, if not moving to the date phase already. Again, I mentally sighed. Didn't he give up? "Or we could watch a movie at your place." He added, something about his voice made me uneasy. He couldn't have known where I lived. I didn't tell anyone that but that didn't mean he wouldn't find some way to figure it out if not call someone else and ask them. There was a few mutual people we knew but no one I was really close with that would know where I lived.

...Then I heard the doorbell ring....

Naturally I jumped out of my skin at the sound. I lowered the phone and suddenly felt like I was in a cheesy horror movie with the bad guy about the bust down my door to kill me. I could hear Sebastian talking to me on the phone, maybe even asking if I was ok or something but I wasn't listening. Leaving my living room, I inched towards the door as the doorbell sounded again. I jumped once more and shook my head. It was the middle of the afternoon! Someone would have to be stupid to try to attack me now, not to mention I didn't have any enemies, and I didn't think it was Sebastian. At least I hoped it wasn't him. I wouldn't know what to say if I opened the door in nothing but my towel and he was standing there.

"Hang on." I said to Sebastian, though I'm sure he was enjoying this somehow. Why else would his tone have sounded so suspicious? He had to be on the other side of the door just waiting. Reaching for the knob, I paused. Did I want to open the door? Yes but I didn't really want to see who was on the other side if it did turn out to be him. Eventually, I gave in and opened the door. Since my door had no glass in it and no peep hole, I didn't have a choice but to actually open the door and see who was there. I might have to get a new door if I keep getting this paranoid though.

"Took you long enough Isshy. I was about to leave. Sign here." It was just my postman. My tension faded instantly as I smiled apologetically to the rabbit. He was rather nice and was always prompt with the mail, a bounce in his step, and a friendly word for the day.

"Sorry man. On the phone." I tucked the phone against my shoulder and chin as I reached for the pen and clipboard. Signing my name on the line, I passed back the items and received the box and mail. I checked the name and it was for Tristan, one of my two roommates.

"Have a good day." He waved as he walked back to his truck. I waved in return then went back inside, closing the door behind me but I didn't lock it since my roommates should be home soon from classes.

"Isshy? You still there?" It was Sebastian. Sadly, I had forgot about him briefly.

"Yes I'm here. I'm kinda busy tonight. Maybe some other time." I didn't want to turn him down and it wasn't like it was a bad match up anyway. I mean Sebastian Ze'ev was one of the best students and didn't seem to need to apply himself but I just wanted him off the phone. This was making me more nervous he was going to try and convince me to go out with him.

"Oh... well alright. See you in class Monday." Sebastian sounded disappointed as he hung up the phone. I clicked the off button and sighed. He really was getting bold and I was getting jumpy over nothing at all. What was going to happen next; I scream when the toast is ready? There were plenty of questions in my mind though. Did I want to enjoy his company as more than grader and student? Shaking my head, I looked to the box and mail I put on the table. Looking at the stack of mail, I was surprised there was anything of interest. Usually it was all bad news.

Bill ... Bill ... Magazine ... I paused on a letter from the school. Tearing it open, I read the contents. It wasn't anything special, just informing all students and staff there would be some construction being done so the left side of the English department would be closed for a few days starting on Monday. That didn't affect me at all but it was still nice to know and I would have to let my roommates know. I nudged the box back a little so it wouldn't be easily knocked off the table. I had no idea what was in it but I had a guess or two.

Heading back to the living room, I hung up the cordless phone and walked back to my room. Running my fingers through my fur on my head and neck, I went into the bathroom to finish cleaning up from the day. My roommates would be home soon and I didn't want to be caught in the living room in a towel. There were enough shenanigans going on without that being added to the mix. Oh the stories I could tell...

Overall my evening was boring. I made some pizza, not from scratch, and had a soda. Dinner of champions and top that with watching a scary movie, perfect evening alone. But I wasn't alone. I had both my roommates home which were always a good story to tell in the morning, as long as we hadn't been drinking we would remember to tell it anyway.

Alex Shaur and Tristan Andagond were ... unique. It was all that could be said. How they became friends was anyone's guess to be honest. Alex is a fox and acted high on sugar all the time but because of how nice he was, it's near impossible to stay angry with him too long. Tristan is a snow leopard and the typical level headed student with the cool personality that was still approachable. Alex was quite smart and had great grades but he couldn't sit still so more than once his professors got annoyed. The college's specialty was computer science and he was in that field so they cut him some slack. Tristan was in philosophy and let me tell you, that cat is smart. I've never seen someone figure things out like he does and he's on the track team. Carrying the team to the finals or so I heard last time I did actually listen. I'm not much of a sports person but I'm still proud of him and all he works towards.

It wasn't hard to tell they had come home. The first thing I heard was the door flung open so hard it hit the wall. Wincing, I peered around the corner to see the front door. Alex was there, chatting Tristan's ear off, whom calmly shut the door and locked it. Looking over in my direction, the leopard offered a wave. Alex soon turned his attention on me and thankfully I was dressed by this time since he jumped at me and got within an inch of my face just to tell me...

"You look different. Did something happen?" Leave it to Alex to note the obvious and be inches from my face while doing so. I liked the guy but he needed to learn boundaries.

"It's fine. Nothing happened. I'm starving. I was thinking about some pizza and soda. Sound good?" I offered, backing up a few steps with a hand placed on Alex's chest for a reminder. He was so excitable it was cute and yet startling to someone who didn't know he didn't always care about personal space. "Oh, you have a package Tristan. It just came today." I said as I turned to head back to the kitchen. I couldn't afford to have the place burn down after I fixed it up so nicely. Alex bounced, yes bounced, off to his room while I assume Tristan opened the box. I heard the popping of the tape and the rustling around.

"Hey what are these for?" Alex asked after about thirty seconds of peacefulness and I pinched the bridge of my nose. He found the roses I left in the hallway. ...Stupid Stupid Stupid... I meant to get those into my room before they got home but I got sidetracked by Sebastian's call. Now I had to explain them or face Alex asking all night long and getting no peace.

"I got them from someone in class today." I answered back, knowing it wouldn't be that great of an answer but at least I said something more than blowing it off. Alex walked down the hallway into the kitchen, I assume as he listened to my answer. He hoped up on the counter and curled his tail around to rest on his lap.

"Who gave you flowers?" He asked, giving me that look that told me he wouldn't be leaving me alone until I told him. Tristan walked into the kitchen a few moments later, holding his new sketch pad under one arm.

"I'm sure whoever sent them is none of our business Alex." He said gently, trying to get Alex to not be interested so much in my apparent love life. "Besides, if Isshy finally gets a date we have the house to ourselves."

"As if I would leave you two alone here. Remember last time?" I protested, but clearly it wasn't as big a deal as I said. The house had seen better days by the time I came back. They had had a party and didn't have a chance to clean up since I came home early. Never again was I going to leave for that length of time and it had only been two days. I didn't want to know what could happen if I left for a week or even a night if I didn't know when I would be back. Still, they took on cleaning up the house and putting things back in order the following morning without issue.

"But come on Isshy! We won't have a party. Promise!" Alex was really laying it on thick. Rolling my eyes, I popped the pizza in the oven and leaned against the counter next to him.

"No." I said but was smiling at the fox. Crossing my arms, I looked from Alex to Tristan and back to Alex. "The roses are from Sebastian. Happy now that you know who they are from?"

"Him?! The guy in your class you grade papers for. I always wondered if he was interested in men. Good looking -" Alex was suddenly so very interested I had to get out there.

"Yes and don't say anything else. It wasn't like it means anything anyway." I interrupted quickly to keep Alex from finishing that sentence. I pushed off the counter and headed off to get some homework of my own done before the pizza was done. If they continued to talk about Sebastian, I have no idea. I didn't want to know for that matter either.

So our evening was filled with pizza, soda, watching Alex play Final Fantasy 12, or was it 13? I can't keep them straight. Whatever the case, I finally retreated back to the safety of my room, still listening to Tristan scold Alex for sitting too close to the screen while playing. Honestly, they are so odd but they are great roommates and friends. They really saved me when I had to look for roommates too.

It's been almost a year now that we've all lived here. Alex and Tristan were already best friends and wanted to stay together outside the dorms but near the college. This was their first year in college, even if we were all a little older than the average student. I had some money saved up and when I had a chance to get this house, I was so happy. It wasn't much and needed a lot of work. By the time I was done, I couldn't even afford to live here. My folks helped me a few months while I looked for some help. You could walk to the college from my house, which made it more appealing in most cases. I think Tristan does once in awhile but that might be just to get Alex to burn off some energy before class. We all split the rent and everything else so it's easy living for all of us and we all still manage to have a life outside of school, sports, and anything else that came up.

Lying in bed, I listened to the sounds of the animals outside and the breeze that passed by the open window. It was relaxing and soon I closed my eyes and curled up on my side. As long as I could relax, I would be just fine. Tomorrow was Saturday and that made it a weekend. No classes to go to, no papers to grade. I could sleep in and not worry about anything at all.

But still I couldn't get Sebastian out of my head and I couldn't tell if that was good or bad. Maybe it was both...