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Hi, everyone! Free Association is back with episode number 10! Got a kind of long-ish one this time, word count over 4000 and all - I didn't exactly plan it that way, but we'll pretend it's a special thing because of the milestone! FA episodes tend to be kind of short, because I've found 3000-ish words is a nice comfortable amount to write every week, along with other projects and because I sometimes don't feel inspired or get busy. But with this one, I just had more to say!

If you're new, I of course hope you'll head back to Ep. 1, and join us for the rest of the series! Free Association updates quite reliably every Friday afternoon or sometimes evening (in the US, but folks in Europe can usually catch it before they go to bed). No longing for a new update for weeks or wondering when more will appear, that's the Valanxian Guarantee™!!! ...At least on this story, no promises on the others, haha!

Alright, numbah ten!

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_ Thursday. _

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'I'm outside the union :)'

Brad smiled a little, coming to a stop on the sidewalk, under one of the streetlamps lining the main road through campus. He ducked aside, moving into the dark, hedged area along the path. 'i can see you can you see me? ;]'

He watched down the hill. Nothing, nothing, nothing... Heheh, there! The little fuzzy shape, looking down with his paws pulled up to his chest, suddenly stuck his head up and peered around. Look, look, look... back to paws.

A few moments later, vreep vreep!

'No you sneaky which way are you?'

Brad giggled a bit to himself, but a moment later, a second message arrived.

'I heard your phone go off though!'

Brad looked up, and sure enough, Jonathon was making his way up the hill, looking around. The wolf, snickering to himself, quickly hopped over the hip-high hedge and crouched behind it.

The sound of footsteps slowly drew nearer. Brad peered out through the bushes, watching as those sneakers came closer, closer...

Wait. Why was Jonathon stopping? He was still about twenty feet away, that was no good, Brad wasn't going to be able to surprise him like that.

If he'd just come a bit closer... the wolf grinned a mischievous grin.

Yeah, that's it, a few more steps, just a few more, and...

Vreep vreep!

"Dammit!" In good humor, the wolf popped up, caught. Jonathon giggled, holding his phone and looking quite pleased with himself.

"Man, and I was gonna surprise you, too..." the wolf whined. "I would have had you pretty good if I put my phone on silent, though, wouldn't I?"

"Well..." Jonathon rubbed his little chin, which Brad noticed was growing a bit more scruffy than he remembered from the brief time he'd known the young man. "...Maybe you should read that text I just sent you."

Brad blinked, and then looked back at his phone. Click, click, UI everywhere.

'I can see your tail flicking, silly, also you smell good'

Brad snorted, and blushed, and looked up at the raccoon a little sheepishly. "You're just jealous because I'm a ninja."

Jonathon snorted, watching Brad climb back over the hedge. "I guess I'm the grandmaster, then, because you can't fool me, young grasshopper!" The raccoon gestured sharply with his phone.

"Hai, sensei," Brad said indulgently. "Please permit me to perform my humble surprise-jitsu upon you."

"If you must," Jonathon allowed, with a long-suffering sigh.

The wolf, chuckling a little, took Jonathon by the shoulders and pulled, so that the coon boy stumbled closer. "You see, you stand here, and I stand here," he said, taking up a completely unsurprising pose, simply facing the other male. "And then I do this..."

The wolf stuck his head out and gave his boyfriend a great big sloppy kiss.

Jonathon tensed. Brad felt him shiver, frozen... before slowly, tentatively returning the kiss. The raccoon's paws found the sides of his chest, gripping his shirt.

The wolf pulled back after only a few moments. "Surprise."

Jonathon was panting lightly. Out of breath after only one kiss; that had to be some sort of new record.

The raccoon sighed a little, a small smile on his face.

Then, he abruptly looked around, and wiped his mouth sheepishly with the back of his paw. "Don't... don't do that on campus."

Chagrined, the wolf blinked. "But..."

Jonathon grimaced, ducking his head. "I..." At least they were in the dark, between two streetlamps, and there was no one around. "I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it. Just... please." He looked up, catching the wolf's gaze hesitantly; his paws went behind his back.

Brad looked at him, squirmed, nodded. "Okay. Sorry."

"Don't 'sorry'... Just... here." Jonathon reached out and took Brad's paws in his own, holding gently. "I... I'm glad to see you too."

Brad smiled hesitantly at that, and they stood there for a moment, holding each other's paws in the dark. It felt almost like a classical romance. They could only express their feelings in the darkness, where no one could overhear.

Bradleyo and Joniet.

The wolf smirked a little at the stupid thought as it flitted through his head. He imagined Jonathon wouldn't like being the fair lady in the tale, but 'Jonatho' didn't really work. Not that 'Bradleyo' was much better, really.

"Let's go get a coffee or something," Jonathon suggested, and they began walking towards the union. They held paws for a little bit, but Jonathon let go by the next streetlamp, and Brad accepted that he'd have to get used to that.

It was more than worth it, just to be with him again.

"How was your day?"

"Mmh. All right. Distracted." Brad chuckled a bit. "I couldn't stop thinking about you at work again..."

"Heheh, sorry..."

"It was nice having you... 'keep me company', so to speak..." Brad said playfully, quirking an eyebrow somewhat suggestively. Jonathon smirked and nudged him with an elbow.

"Hardly the best way we could keep each other company, though..." the raccoon said innocently.

Brad rumbled a little at that. "You don't say, heh."

Jonathon was quiet. A moment later, Brad looked over and saw his ears were back, and he looked like he was blushing; it was a bit too dark to tell. "I didn't mean it like that..."

"Oh. Heh." The wolf scratched his neck awkwardly. "Sorry. Been a long day."

"...But, uh, now that you mention it..." The raccoon looked over at him, chuckling. "Or insinuate it, I guess..."

Well. This was interesting. "Hm?"

"Well, uh.... Hm. Well. I dunno." The procyonid petered out, embarrassed, and Brad smiled a little. It was adorable.

He ventured to give the raccoon a little half-hug, a sideways bro-grab. Not suspicious, right? His paw lingered on Jonathon's shoulder in an affectionate caress, before dropping to his side. "I don't know either. So I guess we'll have to find out, right?" The wolf pulled open the door to the union.

The raccoon smiled at him. "I guess so."

They paced through the halls and open areas of the student union to the coffee shop on the other end, which was always open until at least midnight. It was a bit late for coffee, unless you had some project to work on. Brad was glad his boyfriend was a fellow member of the 'Coffee time is ALL the time!' club.

Then again, they had met in a coffee shop, at night. It was weird, how he already thought of Jonathon in a different way, a way that made that fact seem strange and unexpected, when he recalled it. Jonathon had been like a different person then. A stranger.

Now...

"I'll have a large decaf vanilla soy chai, please!"

The wolf snorted. Never mind, the coon was a stranger again.

"How can you drink that stuff?" the wolf remarked, shaking his head in amazement. "It's not even coffee by that point, it's just... goo!"

Jonathon grinned at him. "It's tasty!" He furnished the same blue plastic card with which he'd paid for the wolf's replacement coffee on Monday. "I like it."

"Bleh," Brad remarked.

"You don't have to like it," the raccoon replied, still chipper, tail waving happily. "I like it."

"All right," the wolf replied, agreeably. "I'll have a medium dark chocolate mocha, whole milk, no whip, please." He nudged the raccoon. "That's real coffee, now."

"What's so special about it?"

"It's not polluted." Brad grinned, paying for his coffee with a couple crumpled bills. "Soy milk... and tea! I mean, come on..."

"Have you ever even had a chai?" Jonathon remarked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, no, I like strong coffee."

"It's quite good. Quite... different. I used to be a brevé guy, but then I started getting chais..." He shrugged. "It's milder, but it's just different."

"Not real coffee," Brad said decisively.

The raccoon rolled his eyes, and then grinned. "Fine, then it's imaginary. I don't care, as long as I get to drink it!"

"Doesn't even have any caffeine..." the wolf grumbled.

"If I drink caffeine this late I invariably end up pulling an all-nighter," the raccoon groaned. "And I've really got to stop doing that, I hate it."

"I never have any trouble sleeping after I drink coffee," the wolf replied. "Even if I'm hyper, if I lay down and close my eyes and try not to fidget, if I need to sleep, then I just go to sleep."

"You're lucky, then," the raccoon murmured, taking his beverage. "I'm a pretty light sleeper, doesn't take much to throw me off. Body just likes being awake, I guess."

"Hm." Brad stood there, watching the rattlesnake girl behind the counter working the espresso machine. Soon enough, he had his delicious chocolatey concoction in paw, and the two of them went over to sit on the far side of the coffee shop. The place was modeled to emulate a european café, with the far wall being open to the union concourse, leading to the bookstore in one direction and one of the larger auditoriums on the other. In a real cafe, there might have been full-length windows thrown wide; since they were inside, the wall space was simply open, and demarked by a black iron fence that was meant to add a touch of class. It did seem to... right about up to the point where it met the taupe-painted drywall. Wallace, an interior design major, would have rolled his eyes, but the canine preferred somewhat swankier establishments than the coffee shop in the basement of the student union, anyway.

There were a few people milling around the union, some getting a late-night repast from the sandwich place across the way, others going to and fro, cutting through the building to reduce the time spent out in the chilly November air. It was early enough that the foot traffic had not yet wound down, though it would soon begin to.

"Heh. Look at that douche," Brad rumbled, people-watching.

Jonathon turned his head, glancing in the direction of a tall badger in a pink polo, his hair chopped roughly into a stereotypical collegiate style. He was chatting up a lemur girl who looked slightly nerdy, but was pretty enough, and certainly knew her way around the 'miniskirt-and-low-cut-blouse' section of the department store. Also the 'leggings' section, but there was no accounting for taste.

"What about him?"

"What a tool, right?" Brad huffed, making his voice huskier. "'Hey, babe! Let's get drunk and fuck, it's a long time until tomorrow night when I can pick up some other slut.'"

The raccoon snorted a little. "He doesn't look that bad, come on."

"Look at his right paw. He's so used to having a beer in it, it's his default pose." The badger was leaning against the wall with one wrist, and his paw was angled outward, curled slightly. "If I walked over there, guarantee you he'd call me 'bro'."

"Heh."

"And picking up a bitch like that. Look at that skirt." Brad shook his head a bit. "Douches."

"You always this negative about random strangers?" the raccoon inquired, one eyebrow slightly raised.

Brad shrugged. "Can't help if they happen to have 'asshole' tattooed on their foreheads, can I?"

Jonathon slurped his coffee, and then gestured subtly. "All right, then, what about that guy?"

The wolf glanced over; there was a white mouse with glasses walking past, carrying a bag. "Looks like a dorky, superior prick. Look at him, he's fucking sauntering. 'I'm an engineer and I'm smarter than you and I'm going to have six job offers when I graduate!'" he mimed, voice high-pitched.

"How about him?"

Brad snorted; the leopard guy he indicated was wearing extremely tight jeans and a tight, striped jacket; his hair was long and his ears were pierced several times. "I'd love to just not believe his type even exists, I really would, but the fucker'd probably find it ironic."

"Then, how about her?"

A somewhat chunky skunk girl with short-ish, curly hair and a shirt from one of the campus religious organizations. "Prude bitch, would probably freak out if she met us." He watched the skunk pass, curling his lip a little. "Bet she's voting for that albatross nutjob."

Jonathon swirled his drink a little, quiet, and then sipped it. Brad was still looking after the skunk, glowering.

"You're really not big on people, are you?"

The wolf glanced back to his companion, and blinked. "Huh?"

"Do you look at everybody that way?" the raccoon asked, his tone rather sharp. "Judge them all the moment they walk past you?"

"I... Well, no, not really," the canine replied, steadily. "I only expect what I've been lead to expect. I've met lots of people, and most of them have been a waste of oxygen." He looked back out over the concourse; the badger and his lemur acquaintance were leaving now. "All fixated on their prissy lives and celebrities and the latest trends and gossip. Football, booze, bitches. Like they all come out of some sort of fucking mold. You wonder whether any of them have ever experienced a real emotion in their lives. If they even know what it's like, to feel like an outsider, second-rate in your own damn society."

The raccoon was looking at him more curiously, now. "Is this about..."

Brad knew what he meant, even if he didn't want to say it in public. The wolf huffed. "No. No, it's not about that. It's just..." He rubbed his gray-furred face. "I mean, fuck. They're all so damn oblivious. About everything. Had it all fed to them from some golden paw, fit in everywhere and know what to do about everything. Damn comfortable suburbanites. And they fucking waste it." He scowled over the sparse flow of pedestrians. "It's like a rubber stamp. 'You're going to college, you're good.' 'You're going to get a good job, you're fine.' As if that's what really matters. As if that'll make anyone happy, make them feel like they're wanted. Like they have a fucking purpose in the world. Like they have a clue." The wolf shook his head. "Nope. Going to college, gonna get a good job, checked the damn boxes. So now they can just watch the game and drink some beers and fuck some bitches, or go shopping and spread rumors about that slut in econ. And feel fucking vindicated when they do it. Feel like that makes them good people and successful."

Jonathon drank his coffee and thought about that.

Brad scowled and did the same. After a moment, he sighed a little, and took a big swig of his mocha. "Never mind. Maybe I'm just a misanthropic douche myself." He smirked a little. "I wouldn't argue it."

"I think you're just a pessimist," the raccoon replied.

"Realist."

"Every pessimist says that."

Brad chuckled. "Maybe. But at least I can appreciate... that I have something that does have meaning." He gave the raccoon a significant look, and Jonathon met his eyes for a moment, and then looked down, smiling shyly.

They sat for a while longer, finishing their coffees, and Brad scowled at people passing. Jonathon just watched the table, pensive.

Finally, the raccoon asked. "So... what did you think of me, when you first met me?"

The wolf blinked, floored. "Oh, gee, I didn't even know you then, does it matter?"

"Yeah," the raccoon said, looking at him. "It does. So tell me."

"Well, shit..." The wolf scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I mean... I guess I was kinda pissed at you cause you were texting..."

"And you don't like my taste in coffee," the raccoon put in.

"And that, I guess..." Brad shrugged.

"And?"

"...Well... Gosh, Jonathon, do you have to... Fine, I guess I thought you were acting kind of... childish, but I didn't know you then, okay?"

"How'd I come off, then? As some..." Jonathon deepened and roughened his voice, doing a surprisingly accurate imitation of the wolf. "...'annoying, immature fucker who doesn't have a clue'?"

The wolf almost eeped. "I didn't mean that! Jonathon..."

"Maybe I used the wrong adjectives, then. Help me out, here. 'Stupid'? 'Dorky'? 'Oblivious'? Or maybe I was just some douche. I don't have a mirror; can you tell me, do I have 'asshole' tattooed on my forehead?" The raccoon's eyes were clear, his tone cutting but not aggressive.

The wolf was looking at the table, face flushed and ears back. "All right..." he whined. "I get it... You don't have to be mad..."

"I'm not mad," the raccoon said, and when Brad looked up, he believed it. Jonathon looked quite calm, in fact, as though they were discussing pleasant weather or an interesting movie one had seen. "I just wanted you to think about that."

The wolf sat there uncomfortably, fur still tufted out on his face and neck, out of shame. Jonathon studied him for a while, that clear, even gaze hitting him like a scalpel. Like a freaking CT scan. It was very disconcerting.

"...Sorry..." the wolf offered, after a moment.

"Apology accepted, though you didn't need to apologize to me." The raccoon tossed back the last of his coffee.

Brad took a draw on his own, slowly. "I'll... try to be less judgmental."

"You certainly don't have to."

"Well, if it bothers you..."

"It doesn't bother me," Jonathon said. "In fact, it seems more like it bothers you, right now."

The wolf frowned at that, troubled, as he finished his own coffee.

"Don't change yourself for me, because I don't care how you treat strangers. Or anyone that isn't me. You can judge them all you like, and as long as you're nice to me, I'll like you. I can't pretend like morals are some trump card; it's not that complicated. I'm not that complicated." He grimaced a bit. "I only care about me, or something."

Brad harrumphed. "Why give me a rant like that, unless you want me to change?"

Jonathon shrugged. "When you say something I don't agree with, what am I supposed to do, nod? Or try and get you to see it differently? If it bothers you once you see it that way, it's your decision whether to change or not."

"That's a passive-aggressive way of putting it. I don't have to agree with you as long as I agree with you, right?" The wolf grinned a bit, mostly teasing.

Jonathon grimaced. "Who's to say you'll be bothered by something just because I disagree with it? I wouldn't expect you to have sudden doubts about yourself, if I told you I was voting for that albatross guy." He paused. "I'm not, by the way."

Brad snorted. "Good. Because that would definitely bother me, but I wouldn't be the one changing."

The raccoon chuckled a bit at that. "The point is, if we disagree and we're both okay with it, that's fine. That's good, in fact, it's something we can discuss and think about, and it'll broaden both our perspectives, even if we never reach a consensus. But if we disagree and that bothers you... Well, maybe you should be concerned about that."

The wolf stared at his companion across the table, smiling a little. "I've really never met anyone like you, Jonathon."

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment."

"That's how I meant it."

"All right." The raccoon smiled a little at him.

Brad tried to give him a look that made clear he would probably kiss the other guy, if they weren't in public.

Jonathon caught it. His smile broadened a bit, and he looked down.

"Okay," Brad said, less unsettled now. "Tell me what you think of people."

The raccoon looked up, glanced at the concourse. "Specific ones, or..."

"Just anyone."

The raccoon shrugged. "I don't know any of them, so I don't have much to say."

"Come on, give me something. I want to see how you think. Perspective, right?"

The raccoon smiled a bit. "Well, okay. I suppose that shark girl over there looks nice, maybe she's a vet med student?"

Brad grimaced, ears immediately dropping. "I had an ex who was a shark."

"Well, that's a pretty negative way to start thinking about someone."

"I can't help it, they all remind me of him, try someone else."

"Okay." Jonathon sucked in air, perusing the limited selection of furs for analysis. "There, that tiger girl. Design student?"

Brad nodded. "Probably, with that fashion sense. If she was good at anything else, she'd... ah, sorry," The wolf grimaced, when he got a look from the other male. "She looks... creative. There."

"Your tone of voice simply drips respect and awe."

"I'm trying, you meanie."

"All right, what about... him?" Jonathon indicated a short lizard, probably a tegu, waiting by the sandwich place.

"Oh. Hm." Brad frowned. "He looks.... well, what do you think?"

The raccoon shrugged. "I don't know him. He looks nice enough. And he's kinda..."

There was a pause.

"...cute?" Brad finished, somewhat warily.

The raccoon nodded. "I was gonna say that, yeah," he replied, quietly.

"Heh. Yeah." The wolf watched the reptile for a moment, as the latter poked his phone idly. "So would I."

He looked back, and Jonathon chuckled at him, a little embarrassed. "At least we're not jealous?"

Brad grinned at that. "Well... he's a nice-looking one, all right... but I still think you're cuter."

Hahaaa! Found the blush button! "Oh, gosh, Braaaad," the raccoon murmured, rubbing his neck. "You had to pull that one? That was so easy, I pretty much set you up for that..."

"Intentionally?" the wolf remarked, with a small chuckle.

"Well, no, but I did see it coming," Jonathon retorted, sticking his tongue out a little. They were talking quietly, but the raccoon still glanced around a little nervously.

"Well, what do you think, he looks like... maybe a seven?"

Jonathon glanced over, still embarrassed. "Uh... yeah, a good seven, maybe point five."

"Then, how about me?"

"Oh, gosh, Brad... I mean, geez..."

The wolf was nearly giggling. "Come on, it's just a number. Just be honest. When you first met me, in the café. What were you thinking?"

The raccoon gripped his empty cup and stared at the table. "Braaaad..."

"What, am I just a six? That's okay, I know I need to work out, I could turn into a real hunk if I wanted to, not a big - "

"Nine..." the raccoon interrupted, blushing hard, with his ears back.

The wolf blinked. "I said to be honest."

"I'm always honest," the procyonid replied. Gee, he was sure blushing hard.

Brad thought about that one for a moment. "...Really?"

Jonathon nodded, still not looking at him. "...Good solid nine..." he mumbled. "I... actually have a text to prove it, even."

"Oh really?"

"Well, yeah..."

"You texted some friend when you saw me in the café on Monday?"

Jonathon shrugged. "It's not every day you go to grab a coffee and there's a big..." He stopped.

"Who'd you send it to?"

The raccoon scratched an ear. "Ah, his name's... Greyson. He's a really old friend of mine. Like my best friend, probably."

"And he was... interested in the information that there was a wolf in the café who was a nine?"

"We're best friends!" Jonathon protested. "He's not... He's my friend, and sometimes I text him stuff about... that kind of thing, yeah. Just cause he's a... normal guy... doesn't mean he's not... interested to know, just because it's me talking, and all."

Brad found the raccoon's behavior more and more curious. "Okay," he said, bemused. "I was just wondering."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Jonathon looked very odd indeed, almost anguished, but still embarrassed, and his tail was whicking about funnily. "Besides, I told you what I thought on Monday, but you never told me the same," he objected, after a moment - the 'besides' didn't seem to fit very well with the conversation.

The canine shrugged. "I think my actions speak for themselves."

"You made me give you a number," the raccoon pouted.

Brad chuckled a bit. "I did. All right. When I first saw you, I was thinking maybe... maybe seven, I guess, I wasn't really paying attention at first. But you remember what... happened." The wolf glanced down at that, vividly recalling the flash of moonlight on fur, and that damn smile.

"Yeah?" Jonathon was looking at him.

"That, and... last night, and..." Brad grimaced. "That's... not how I usually act. About anyone. I don't... do that. Act like that. It's almost... scary, in a way." He even shivered a little. "I don't really understand it... but if this silly rating system is going to make any sense, I think I'd have to give you double digits. For it to be fair." He grimaced a bit, dropped his gaze, looked back.

The raccoon processed that. "Oh. Heheh." He smiled, tentatively. "Really?"

Brad gave him a wry little grin, marred by the longing in his eyes, and looked down before he spoke. "Well, yeah. No one has ever made me go... crazy, like this. I want it... so much." He sat there for a second, blushing a little. "...I know I'm more into you, than you're into me. So it makes sense." Glance back, look down.

The raccoon chuckled a little. "Yeah, I suppose that was true. But I'm starting to wonder... whether that might be changing."

Brad was staring into his eyes now, drawn in. He broke his gaze away again, looking aside, down, at nothing. And he looked back, yet again.

Jonathon's smile grew softer, and warmer.

Brad looked down again. "Sorry."

The raccoon snorted, the moment shattered. "What the hell for?"

"Well, it's just... embarrassing, and it sounds sappy, and it's not an excuse to act like a retard, like I've been acting."

Brad was surprised, then, when he felt the soft nudge of Jonathon's paw against his own. He looked up, and the raccoon was looking at him earnestly. "Well, that's awfully harsh on yourself, don't you think?"

The wolf rumbled. "Maybe."

Jonathon didn't hold his paw. But he did let the side of his pad rest against Brad's, and that soft contact said more than enough.

---

Hm, this one seems very much about getting to know someone you like, and how some aspects of them can be a bit... surprising. I do so love exploring Brad's personality. Lot of dimensions to that guy, and I hope we'll get to figure out what makes him tick. Must be very interesting for Jonathon, getting to know who he really is. That odd combination of scowly over sensitive.

The topic they discuss is one I deal with a fair amount on a personal level - I would say Brad is drawing from my "shoulder devil", while Jonathon is my "shoulder angel". I at least try very hard to only let other people see the angel side, no matter how cynical and untrusting I can't help feeling around strangers.

I consider it a wonderful and hilarious coincidence that they happened to have the 'rating' conversation in episode 10. I did not plan that, in fact I only just noticed it. I've always thought 'rating' was an interesting cultural practice.

Wow, I'm chatty tonight, divulging all my secrets! Heh, none of these will become important, just some musing. Maybe it's a bonus for Episode 10, if you like this sort of thing. Not a big milestone yet, but I look on it as proof that this "serial experiment" is indeed working, quite well, in fact. I hope you'll join me for another 10!