FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

**Lhaerick tensed his body as he lay in the bed. The bed sheets felt constricting and unpleasant as a film of cold sweat stuck them to his scales. His semi-conscious mind made his surroundings drift in and out of focus as he returned to sleep.

/He was a small child again, face pressed against the glass watching the outside world with quiet innocence. It was dark outside and the sound of gunfire and shouting was rolling over the streets to his window. There were no people outside, they had all left. He was not sure why. A loud voice told him to step away from the window, he couldn't remember who the voice belonged to. As he turned away he heard the sound of a car moving down the road and turned to look at it. Several men were standing on the back of the pick-up truck carrying guns.

He heard the voice shout again and felt an arm pull him away from the window, shoving him down the stairs to the back of the house. He yelled, shocked as the door front door was hammered, fear building inside him. He didn't understand why this was happening, he did the only thing a child would do in that situation and cried loudly. A firm had silenced him by putting a hand over his mouth as the front door was hammered again. He heard loud, angry voices outside, shouting in Serbian. The taller person, their face clouded and lost in memory, pushed him to the back door; out into the garden and shouted at him. Screaming at him to run. He was so scared it took him awhile to move, but he eventually started to run away from the house. As he turned away he heard the back door close. He ran to an alley way and hid there, peeking his tear streaked face over to look back at the house. He watched as nothing seemed to happen, then almost cried out as a terrible bang erupted from the front of the house. He shrunk back into the corner of his hiding place; quivering and trembling, trying his hardest to keep quiet. When he heard the back door open again he ran away, his young legs seeming to take forever to move him any distance. He heard a shout behind him, then the deafening crack of a gunshot. A patch of wall to the left of him exploded into dust./

Lhaerick woke suddenly, his body contorted in some kind of pain that he could not place. He opened his mouth and put his head in his hands, yelling silently into his pillow. He felt a scream inside his head as a rushing sound seemed to replace all rational thought. He bent down, doubled over and waited for it to pass, feeling the unbearable rage and despair rushing round his body once more before ebbing slightly. It left him feeling shaky. Drained and emotionally empty he took a deep shuddering breath, turning to lie on his back. It was very dark outside, the soft light of the streetlamps filtering through the curtains made his dark scales shine a soft pale blue colour. He tried to lie back and un-tense, but a small noise brought him out of his revery. He ignored it. It probably wasn't real, it wouldn't be the first time he had heard things that weren't really there. At first it had been frightening, now it was just inconvenient.

He reached over to his bedside table, grasping a remote and pointing it at his music player. A driving rhythm filled the room, at first quietly then louder as Lhaerick adjusted the volume. He allowed his mind to wander and the music to fill the empty space inside him. It was probably a little late, or early for dance music. He didn't care and he doubted his neighbours had the balls to complain. As the music started to build he felt his own mood start to lift, welcoming the irrational, hateful feeling as it flooded his brain. He turned the music up again so that it was now very loud, the tearing feeling of joy spreading to every part of him like a fist clenching in his chest. His limbs tensed and he got up quickly.

Hesitantly, his arms and legs still tensed Lhaerick made to walk out the bedroom but paused, the music still driving and building around him. Over the music he heard another sound. His mind reeled to process the new information. Someone else was in the house, upstairs. Now out in the hallway. Instead of fear Lhaerick felt elation; he felt agonising excitement build in him as he leapt out of the bedroom, kicking the door open. He saw a younger male, a dark grey canine dressed mostly in black, at the other end of the hallway. He was frozen in shock, one of his arms grasping a laptop. The grey wolf dropped the laptop, it clattered to the floor. Lhaerick stared at the intruder, the music surged and built up around him lifting his emotions higher. His face was a terrifying mask of a mixture of joy and anger. He roared at the intruder trying to project the confused mess of emotions he felt outwards. No longer fully in control of himself he ran at him, bringing his arms out in front of him. He was no martial arts expert but he had been in the army, and this was just some punk kid.

He slammed his right elbow into the wolf's side and pushed forwards as he weakly tried to defend himself, the wolf was knocked backwards and fell against a shelf, bringing it down on him. Lhaerick felt the music urging him onwards, making him tense, clouding all rational thought as he started to rain blows down at the younger male. He heard him whimper as he tried to defend himself against the downpour of punches. Lhaerick just carried on anyway beating his entire upper body mercilessly, his movements partly in time with the music. He let out a deranged shout and lifted the wolf bodily, throwing him into the room he had taken the laptop from.

He felt an enormous pressure building inside his chest, tightening and lifting with the music now loud in his ears. He savagely kicked the wolf in the chest as he tried to get up, feeling ribs crack under foot and causing him to drop to the ground. He bent down and hauled the wolf up facing away from him, pinning his arms behind his back. He walked him over to the window and put a hand to the small of his back, pushing him so his head crashed into the window, causing it to crack slightly. He shouted over the music as the pace of it seemed to double, relentlessly pounding into his head as it reached its crescendo. He yelled in a voice choked with anger and confusion. "Is this what you want?" He made as if to throw the wolf out the window, stopping just before the wolf hit the glass again. He screamed down the wolf's ear "Is it?" He pulled at the young males arms so that he was looking down at his bruised, terrified face. His ears were flat against his head and he was whimpering, taking in slow shuddering breaths.

Parts of Lhaerick's mind seemed to shift, like glaciers crunching together and slotting into place. The knotted fist in his chest seemed to unclench, he could feel the agony and ecstasy beginning to subside. This music no longer filled him with feeling, it just throbbed away in the background without meaning. The terrified face of the wolf continued to stare at his own, the dappled grey fur was matted with blood and one of his eyes was partly swollen shut. He couldn't have been older than 18. He was shaking with fear as Lhaerick held him in place, unsure of what was going to happen to him next. Lhaerick knew the look in his eyes, it was the fear of death. The knowledge that your life was entirely in someone elses hands and that they could end it with a thought. The thought that you were about to die, painfully and alone. He knew that look well. He abruptly dropped the wolf, letting him slide against the window to the floor, shaking and looking confused. He had curled up in the foetal position as a last attempt to defend himself from more attacks. Lhaerick just stopped and looked at the mess of a wolf he had left lying on the ground, dispassionately observing the damage he had inflicted. For the first time he spoke softly to the sobbing male on the ground. "Get up and leave." The wolf turned his head to look up at Lhaerick's unreadable expression, confused and fearful, not sure what to make of the sudden change. When Lhaerick just stood there the wolf got painfully to his feet and backed away slowly. When he reached the door he turned and ran away as fast as he could in his heavily injured state. A moment later he heard a door slam shut. Lhaerick looked out the window and saw the wolf limping away, clutching at his side. He sighed and regarded the debris around him mixed with a small amount of blood, his mind barely registering the significance of any of it. He left the window and returned to his bedroom, reaching for the remote and silencing the music before lying down on the bed. The emptiness rushed into his head and he was asleep almost instantly. He dreamt of nothing.**