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Twilight Sparkle ripped her leg free from granny Smith's mouth as the others recoiled. After staring at the blood on her leg for a solid three seconds, ignoring the confusion and hubbub, she cut through it: "Quiet! Get me only if you need me. Mr. Cockatrice?"

She assumed a stable stance and stared at him, her intent clear. The cockatrice obliged; she shivered in momentary, expected horror, and was stone. And he was while at it, he froze granny Smith.

We were speechless for another three solid seconds. Applejack swallowed. "Well, she's got grit."

Rainbow Dash recovered and tried to push her away from the bed. "And she weighs a ton. If we do need her, it had better be right here."

The other three were still picking their jaws up off the floor, so I nudged them - "Fluttershy, why don't..." and I stopped, realizing I'd been about to give an order that would interfere with Discord's plans - something I'd been bound not to do - and apparently strong suggestions counted. Fortunately, the tone was enough to snap Rarity (if not Fluttershy) out of it.

"Here, I'll help with her..." she focused her magic and lightened Twilight Sparkle, and with Applejack's help, they were able to push her out the door.

Pinkie, meanwhile, coached Fluttershy back into activity. I kept the rear-guard - and it was a good thing I did, as a foaming earth pony shambled up behind us. With my warning, they petrified her with a decent bit of room to spare. That, however, clued us in that some of them were free, so we rejoined the three pushing Twilight Sparkle along.

They'd found another wanderer themselves, and Rarity had bound her up with some ribbons done up in a neat bow. Once she was stone, Rarity reclaimed the ribbon.

"That was a nice bit of lassoing in tight quarters! You'd make a fine farm hand!" Rarity did not seem to appreciate Applejack's compliment.

Leaving Twilight Sparkle in the hallway, we went as a group from there, hitting each room and then checking carefully - and gingerly. Having the longest arms, I was on closet-opening duty - and found zombies in several closets. In each case, they hissed at the light and lunged - and skidded to the ground, petrified.

Because we were moving methodically, we heard one room long before we came to it. Rattles, hisses... I dreaded what I'd see in there, remembering that Cheerilee was said to be the worst. My fears were founded. She was bound spread-eagled with heavy ropes that looked out of place in the hospital room. When she saw us, she spat and hissed some more, and made chomping motions. Fluttershy was afraid to go in, and none of us really trusted the cockatrice away from her. I began my sweep anyway, figuring I could retreat to the door. Cheerilee, I found, was alone.

I drew the sheet over her body and stood back so she couldn't spit on me (she'd managed to get out of her mask). She struggled, panted, then stared.

Once she was quiet, I said, "Hey there. We're working on this. Now, to buy you some time, we've brought a cockatrice, who's going to turn you into stone. It's going to be scary, but we know how to change you back. And so when you're back, we'll have doctors with a cure, or at least an idea for a cure. They'll get you all fixed up. You got that?"

She hissed.

"I'll take that as a yes." I gestured for Fluttershy to come in, and she managed it. Cheerilee howled - and it was cut off as she was petrified.

Sweetie Belle was similarly restrained in the next room - Rarity simply couldn't go in.

Then, we came to the general children's ward. Most of them charged immediately. Their statues formed a ring which made getting further in a bit tricky.

But there were wheezing breathing sounds, so we knew we had to go in. Applejack gently shifted two aside, and Fluttershy closed her eyes and let herself be led by Pinkie. The first remnant was one filly who apparently had three broken legs. She was easily petrified. We continued the sweep.

I tried to open one closet door, but it was suddenly pulled closed. "No! Go away!"

Rainbow Dash said, "Scootaloo?"

"Yeah. Who is it? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Are you?"

"I think so. When they made me come in to look at me, some of the other fillies went wild, and I hid in the closet, and I haven't been out since."

"When was that?"

"Two days, I think? It's been crazy. I'm so scared. Not like you."

Rainbow Dash swallowed. "It's going to be all right. Just let go of the door handle."

"How do I know you're not sick too?"

"We've been out of town, fetching... what?" I'd put my finger to my lips and shook my head vigorously. I motioned for Fluttershy to leave.

Applejack said, "Omar, what are you saying?"

I facepalmed that she'd said my name. "Don't you think Twilight Sparkle would love to see someone who's not infected after all this?"

"I'm sure she would, but she said..." She stopped.

Rarity whispered, "What are you getting at?"

Scootaloo said, "All right, I'll come out!" She turned the handle, but now I was holding the door closed.

I couldn't give orders. "Gee, I really think Twilight Sparkle would love to see this pony! It'd totally be worth the minute of her time!"

Rarity hissed, "You think she's Discord? But we've known her since she was born!"

Not exactly - clearly a bit of a game of telephone going on here - but I can't say so. "I, uh, cannot confirm or deny this."

And then Discord poofed into existence, sitting on the back of one of the petrified pegasi, leaning on one upward-pointed wing. "Hmm. Someone's violated the agreement, it seems!"

The other five shrank back. I smirked. "It only seems that way. I told Twilight Sparkle about you well before the game started!"

Discord opened his mouth and was speechless for one second. But then he came back, "Wouldn't you say that violates the spirit of the rules?"

"Well, yeah, but Celestia herself said that we only needed to follow the letter."

"No. She said I only needed to follow the letter. You still need to follow the spirit. Since you cheated, I win. No using the elements on me for the next ten years! And that includes you six, since you're Celestia's subjects. It would totally count, and you know it."

Ranbow Dash punched him in the face. "I don't need the elements to take on someone as hacked-together as you!"

He rubbed his chin and stretched his jaw. "Ah, yes. Physical violence. Having it aimed at me does make it a little less sweet, but I'll take it. Go ahead, do that again!" He reared back his head and laughed.

As he laughed, the sun rose fully. And then set, and rose high again, then calmed down a bit, backtracking towards the horizon and snuggling up next to the wrong side of a crescent moon.

Rainbow Dash, recovering from the distraction, reared up to hit him again and make it count, but he held up a finger and then pointed: one by one, the petrified fillies returned to life - confused, but clearly not zombies. Rainbow Dash halted. The fillies seemed unaware of Discord and us, and left in search of their parents. I tentatively opened the closet door and Scootaloo wandered out.

Discord conjured a pipe, which he gestured with rather than smoking. "You see - Zombies can't choose. I get nothing from them. So enjoy your health and freedom. Enjoy it as much as you want! After all, I want you to pursue happiness, and let none stand in your way!" He flashed a grin. "Now, I'm off to bigger playgrounds. But first, parting gifts."

Spike suddenly materialized in front of him.

Rarity exclaimed, "Spike!" Spike ignored her and looked around quickly.

Discord took a puff on the pipe and blew a smoke ring shaped like a blacksmith's puzzle, watching as Spike headed to the door, saw the hubbub in the hall, and instead headed for the window. "Don't blame me - I found him like this."

Rarity followed him, repeating, "Spike?"

He climbed up to the window and without hesitation dropped from the second floor and continued walking.

When we turned back for an explanation, Discord was gone. Rainbow Dash headed for the window. "That... isn't natural." - Rarity interjected, "I'll say!" - Rainbow Dash continued, "I'll follow him."

I murmured, "Nightmare Moon. She made it."

Fluttershy squeaked, "Where?"

"I'm guessing, but if I'm right, she's wherever Spike is headed. She has the ability to call and command dragons."

Rainbow Dash squeezed out the window. "I'll be careful."

---

James pulled his coat on tighter as we hiked along. "You appear to be having way too much fun with this. It was supposed to be a penalty. You're using it as an excuse."

"But... it was during a game of strip poker! That's just a big excuse to do things you always wanted to do! Don't tell me that eating Candice was torturous for you, even if it was a penalty."

"So you always wanted to write self-insert MLP fic where you fuck the ponies?"

"No, but now that I'm constrained to that..."

"... you're still not fucking the ponies. You haven't sexed up one real pony, only phantoms."

"Phantasms. And he did in a dream. And a real pony did experience what he did.", corrected Shabna. I hadn't realized she'd been reading so carefully. She was happier than I'd seen her in weeks. Maybe our making this get-together like old times - before that fateful party - had been a good idea after all.

James went on, "Point is, we need to up the heat. Make you uncomfortable, or at least squirm."

I let him go on, not wanting to give him ideas.

"So we are going to offer very unreasonable constraints with hefty incentives. Turning them down will be torturous. For an example that is a little too aggressive perhaps - I will blow you if every character from here on has an inexplicable attachment to you."

I sputtered, "What? That'd be a... crime against fiction."

"Cool it, Rarity. It was just an example."

Candice hugged me. "Aww, Rarity. Does that make me Spike?"

Shabna said, "No way. With your work-week, you're Applejack. James is Rainbow Dash."

Lily smirked, "I call Pinkie Pie!" There were no objections.

Chuck, confused, concluded, "I'm no Twilight, so I guess I'm Fluttershy?"

Lily tweaked his nose. "Of course you are - remember why we had the big party in the first place, right? We found out that you'd gone all the way through college without ever actually going to a party? And Shabna makes a fine Twilight Sparkle. Plus, you have her poison joke voice."

I pursed my lips. "I'm not sure. I don't think I live up to Rarity's standards of class. Shabna fits better. She got us out here, for instance."

James went on, "So, the point is, I want you to squirm."

I sighed. "You just haven't seen it. I threw out five versions of one chapter. Another time, it got as far as Candice and she pointed out glaring flaws. So no, thanks. I'm having enough trouble with the constraints I have. Look. Do you just want it 20% cooler?"

"Yeah, I could deal with 20% cooler. More fight scenes. We're in act 3, right? And you have 3 or 4 villains left to take down."

"I'll see what I can do."