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So here is part 4 you guys, again no major changes, sorry for the wait, as usual RL kinda has its way of prolonging the process and not only did i take forever (like a lazy bear) to edit, My fantastic editor was attacked with RL things as well. Hope you enjoy! and best wishes to Ruth! *BEAR HUGS*

Chapter 4

Ricky had never felt more ashamed of anyone in his entire life than he felt of himself once he had calmed down... again.

These panic attacks were strange; they left him feeling apart from himself, like someone else was controlling his body. The scariest thing was that when an attack started, it was like he SURRENDERED his body to the other him, the other him screaming guarantees of self-preservation that the scared him couldn't match; it promised escape from, in this last case, his situation. There were distinct memories of him trying to fight it off, but the struggle always gave way into submission.

He sat in his bed again, the darkness of the room a blanket around him, comforting him, but not in the ways that a friend could... Why was he such a spaz and screw up? "Damn it..." he cursed himself, "You're a freaking coward. Get over it, it's inevitable. A snowballs chance in hell remember?" he asked, the other him was annoyingly quiet NOW.

It wasn't like Ricky was ALWAYS without friends and comforts. As a little kid he was socialized in school, made some friends, went to a few birthday parties. Then after his mom left in about third grade he was different and moved away from all of the bonds he had made and forced to start anew in a different school. It had all happened so fast that he was scared into a sort of cocoon, shutting out the rest of the kids because he did not know them, and they had all formed their social groups as he had, but of course with each other and not him.

_'Still, was it that unreasonable that he be anxious?' _he thought in frustration, and then groaned again, realizing that he didn't believe it as black and white as that. There was a limit to freak-out's, and freaking out, after being calmed down, to the point that the guy he just met and the closest thing he had to a friend for millions of miles and counting had to carry him to his room to save any dignity he would have was definitely beyond the limit of a normal freak-out.

The rust haired kid knew what needed to be done of course, no matter how much he lied that he needed time to straighten his thoughts. That lion needed an apology, and HE needed to man the hell up. Although logic hadn't exactly helped before, he recited the four facts that calmed him down in the first place, his over thinking mind's safe haven.

Reason One: He could not turn back, so there was no point hoping for that. It scared Ricky to have to admit it but he really was not going to see earth for at least four years. The sky he slept under would be foreign, the people would be alien, and the rules that governed him would be unknown. This was his life now and he would have to adapt to survive.

Two: They didn't want to hurt him or they would have done so already. At least this one was a comfort. It only made sense that they did not wish him harm. In space, this far they had no way of contacting Earth, and no way of Earth assisting in any real way. The Varius could have easily overpowered him and done whatever they wanted. Those thoughts made him shiver but the second point kept his head cool.

Three: There had never been violent retaliation from them on Earth, so even though they could tear him limb from limb, they didn't seem to be prone to such feral and primitive actions. It wasn't until he came up with this point did he realize how terrified he was of Pence simply because of his appearance. Pence was most certainly not an earth lion, he himself had rationality and could keep a clear head. Ricky could not imagine Pence snapping mid argument and ripping him apart...

Four: Pence cared. The lion had done more in the last hour than most would have done on Earth for his sake and for his alone. He had something of a friend here, he had a first base to stand upon; so as sad as it was, he was as far along here as he ever was on Earth; acquaintance's that never really affected him, then dad would move and it would start over again. Timothy was the closest thing he had ever had as a friend, and he was only there because he jumped properties that his parents owned and Ricky's dad rented from, so he and Ricky got to know one another more than Ricky had gotten to know pretty much anyone.

These four facts kept him calm and collected. The fifth fact that Pence needed an apology and the sixth that he would be attending dinner; freaked him out. Owning up for his actions or mistakes was not something he was used to when he never stuck his neck out for much, or voiced his opinions.

"Well, in the words of your favourite kick-ass zombie slayer, 'time to nut up or shut up Ricky'." He said to him-self in one of the most nerd-tactular pep talks ever, feeling at his neck for his luck charm, "Don't fail me this time. Please." He whispered.

~~~~

"You smell funny." A little otter girl pointed out, crinkling her nose, "Were you talking to the humans Pence? Only they smell like that, all dirty and...stuff." She tried for more words and gave up.

Pence laughed, making the pile of children climbing over him move and tumble. They had been trying to pin him to the ground for a few minutes now. He'd let them of course, he loved the little kids, after they could walk and not wet themselves of course. "Yeah," he agreed, lifting his toned arms and taking a few clingy kids up with them. "They do smell stinky!" he said in an exaggerated voice, making them laugh. "But they're pretty cool to. There's actually one my age hanging around here somewhere." He noted, catching their attention and a few others around the lounge.

The human manifest had remained a mystery on the ship to everyone, it had just been assumed mostly that it would be adults. Politicians, soldiers, scientists and scholars were the main guesses, anyone nationally funded really. The idea of an actual family with a kid of any sort seemed off for a first trip to the Heart. Not completely out of the question, but odd.

"Really?" More than a single little one asked, more than a single pair of teenage eyes in the room falling upon him also, curiosity getting the better of them.

"Yep, but he's a bit scared of us, he isn't used to being so close to Varius by force," Pence replied, not really wanting to comment of Ricky's business any more than he had to.

"And for four years at that!" A fox girl called from the couch directly above Pence's head. "Why would he do that? That seems dumb." She then went back to her phone, content that she had the attention of everyone in the room for at least a moment.

"He didn't know," Pence defended, looking up to face her, "His dad didn't tell him." His voice was not as projected as to not scream in the little one's ears.

Kochi was not exactly the most...well, to the point, she was a bitch. The fox spread rumours, started fights, and other things along the general lines of watch the world burn from a safe distance because she was bored. But, unfortunately, she had a 'huge crush' on a new fur now and then, and any communication with the selected fur was impossible and seen as flirting to her; even the poor suckers best friends. Apparently she was so sweet around the selected fur they didn't notice for a while how controlling she was, but, she was tolerated. Like everyone else on the ship she was there to stay and had to be dealt with.

"He should have taken the initiative and found out himself, I know I would have searched everyone on this ship, and EVERY factor of the trip personally." She boasted in her loud obnoxious voice, trying to state superiority over the absent kid, and then returning to her messaging on her personal device once again.

Humans called it texting, but Varius had kept the term messaging with their Receivers, aka, cell phones that work without satellites. Receiver towers sent out a sort of Wi-Fi that connected everything, if you waited a few minutes, and accounted for lag, you could call or message Varius at 'The Heart' from this ship because it had a portable tower to itself, military standard.

"We know Kochi, you're so awesome." Someone mocked, making Pence giggle, and in turn, getting him a little kick to the head.

"Oww, thanks for that. Okay, but seriously everyone, just don't be a Kochi and let him feel welcome okay? He is a bit freaked out." Pence spoke a little louder.

Another kick to the head, "Don't use my name as a thing! I'm Kochi, I'm not 'A Kochi'!"

"I wouldn't brag about it," the grey fox from before stated from the couch opposite hers.

"Shut up, don't you have TV's to fail to fix?" she shot back with an 'eat shit' glare.

The fox frowned, "I don't have the right part," he responded lamely. All the little kids laughed, making him get up to sit somewhere else. Eden didn't have the best temper, but at least he knew.

"Not nice," Pence chided, getting up. "I think it's about time for you guys to watch a movie." He yelled over the uproar of children who thought they had him pinned, noting the credits roll from the last one on the holo-screen across the room. "Better pick one before Daxon hogs it," he added, referring to the movie fanatic otter, who responded with a wide toothy grin.

Most of the kids let out a yell and rushed over, leaving a little brown bear cub and a grey wolf with a black face to remain in their area, just sitting there. Pence lifted and eyebrow in curiosity, "You guys okay? The movies going on over there you know. I think it's Disney!" he tried to advertise with excessive pep.

The bear nodded, "We're big kids," he said, the wolf nodding in agreement, "We don't wanna watch the dumb cubby movies, we'll just be big kids over here with you guys."

"Uh huh!" The wolf proclaimed with a gap toothed grin, one of his canines missing. "We're practically grown-ups! I made my own breakthast thif morning before we leff'd Earff." He slurred with the lost tooth, knowing it and blushing in embarrassment.

"Sure you are," Pence said, squatting down to their height, rubbing the wolf's head until he giggled, "It's a shame, looks like they're playing Mulan," he noted.

The two couldn't help but look over at the screen, the wolf's jaw actually dropping a bit. It was more than a bit funny. Animation was a new concept as well in the world of film, most of 'The Heart' movies being acted out by real people. Disney, Pixar and Dreamworks became instant favourites to all ages.

"BUT!" Pence said, lifting the pair up and setting them down on the couch between Kochi and Calper, the only hog their age, who reeked particularly awfully with his post flight jitters, but still smiled at the two new additions. "You two are all grown up now right?" The lion laughed at the lack of answer, the introductory credits rolling on the movie with traditional music accompanying it. "That's good, now there is enough room on the movie couch for me." He said, walking over.

"What!?" the wolf shouted in distress.

"But-but your all grown up and stuff," the bear complained, "That's cheating. You shouldn't watch the little kiddie movies!"

"I'm a kid at heart," Pence said, sticking out his tongue, and flopping backwards over the back of the couch until he was upside down, legs over the back of the chair, head where his legs should be. The kids around him started laughing again, the bear pouting, the wolf too distressed to pout.

"So what's the human like?" A little baboon boy asked, jumping onto Pence's chest to look the lion in the eyes. Pence coughed as the wind was knocked out of him but he smiled and regained his composure.

"He's fun," Pence said bluntly, holding a finger to his muzzle, "Now shoosh, Movie."

The baboon laughed a little, putting both hands over his mouth like it was a game, but his question was left bumping around in the lion's head. Up until this point he hadn't really put much thought into it, but his own actions around the human were pretty strange for him. Originally he had chopped it up to pity, but even pity wouldn't have Pence care so much. It was like what he imagined he would feel for the brother he didn't have, like he was somehow responsible for him, even though he wasn't.

The otter girl was wrong though, at least in Pence's opinion; he didn't think Ricky smelled like all the others, he didn't think he acted the same either, he was so unique. But if any kind of friendship was going to spawn, Ricky needed to move past these episodes and fast. He had left Ricky in his room feeling a little hurt himself, he knew he couldn't blame Ricky, but when he was panicked he was just another Species-ist asshole. It was all the other time when he wasn't panicking that were the good parts.

Just as some fat Asian lady yelled at Mulan, making all the kids laugh, the bear from before tapped him on the foot. "The human guy is in the hallway and he sent me to come get you." He announced like he was on a mission, immediately departing as it was completed.

Pence made a face, awkwardly getting back up over the back of the seat, nudging plenty of the kids out of the way in the turn.'Damn, did Ricky recover fast' he thought, following the bear to the hallway, noting a few eyes following him with that same curiosity. Varius were a very social and connected people.

Military ships like this one were a tight knit community so any outsiders and civilians were met with open arms as a new spice to life. This was, of course a very delicate process of its own as well. None of the crew wanted to welcome someone who would disturb the peace and that had to be known. Pence knew Ricky would be under a lot of scrutiny, no one would be rude by any means, but almost everyone would eventually have to interact with him in some way to get a bearing.

The lion knew though that Ricky would have no problems after his episodes were over. He seemed timid and sweet when he was just chilling at the lion's home. The real Ricky would be given approval; Pence just hoped that that would show through before everyone misjudged him.

At the moment though, Ricky was sitting on the floor in the hall, the wolf puppy on his lap talking to him with his little slur.

"...And I didn't burn the pan, or the eggs, or the fork, and I cleaned my plath and efferfing." The puppy went on, Ricky's face absolutely priceless, caught between adoration and awkwardness. "And then I gotted a whole doughnut all for me-th!" he ended, throwing his paws in the air in excitement, his long canine tail wagging.

"Sounds awesome," Ricky said, looking up at Pence, his expression dropping to one of duty, "Hey," he started, the bear cub pulling his friend back into the lounge despite his protests. Ricky, letting out a long breath, "Your right, they are cute," he managed weakly, not even able to keep the lion's eye.

"Ha-ha, yeah," Pence tossed in, waiting now for the impending apology. Despite what humans think, they are incredibly easy to read, most of them just suck at reading body language. Though even if Pence was blind, the smell of fearful anticipation on the kid was VERY distinct, even beyond the initial dirty smell.

Pence was also a bit surprised that he was ANNOYED Ricky didn't smell like himself, but this scared him. Even in a matter of a few minutes he missed that district smell beneath the human filth that covered most of them, it was sweet, but it was faint, like, if the dirt wasn't there it could be better.

He was surprised he cared though. Hell, despite her attitude, Kochi's natural scent was very, very sweet, so he was curious as to why this human's was more tantalizing than the stronger, already clean scent. As per all abnormalities like this, he decided to save it for later. It did no good to think inwardly when an external issue was present.

Ricky's cheeks blushed, he was so flustered. Why couldn't he have been weird and tried to work out what to say BEFORE he got here by like, talking to the mirror or something? Having a plan right now would have been great; all he could muster was a lame note about baby animals... He really wasn't used to apologizing for anything... Pence on the other hand thought it was funny. Without fur you can actually see a flushed face, very few of the multitudes of Varius could be seen like that...So exposed and obvious.

"You know it's easier if you just say what you're thinking instead of trying to sugar coat it," Pence noted, a little annoyance in his voice, not quite 100% over the generalization before. But, the lion had an act for getting over things quickly and slouched his shoulders when the boy continued to just stand there, letting out a sigh. "I don't mean to sound like a dick, Rick. I'm not mad or nothin' I'm just a bit peeved you know? Understanda-"

"I feel like an ass-hole," Ricky spat out, still not looking up. "Everyone here has been nothing but nice to me, and I push them all away, group you all together with untrue notions and am terrified of them. You. All of the Varius, I'm just not used to something so grand separating...intelligent beings like species! I'm used to race, I just...the fur is a lot to deal with I think the last few months have just been shock and not acceptance. I treat all of you guys like monsters when I panic... you don't deserve any of that. Ha-ha... I'm such a hypocrite, I being the monster here..."

Ricky left it there, finally seeing some kind of funny in all of this; only because if he couldn't, he would mope again. Despite himself he let out a weak chuckle.

Pence smiled, he WAS trying, but results are important too, "Well, that's more than an 'I'm sorry', and WAY more than necessary," he teased. "But good, I feel better knowing that you feel bad about that, but you don't have too now, you apologized, okay? No more beating yourself up." He pushed, smiling at the human who finally looked up at him. The lion offered a hand and pulled the boy to his feet. Pence finally got a good look at him, not distracted by food, and not the sad depressed him.

Ricky was average height for a human his age at about six foot if Pence had a guess, he was built wider, but it was clearly all natural muscle as opposed to working out at a gym. His brown eyes looked relieved and happy for the first time when it wasn't over a joke, and his medium length crop of rust coloured hair hung down to his eyebrows, a little over his ears and had a fluffiness to it on top; it wasn't straight, but it wasn't curly either. All in all, Pence was shocked he didn't realize how good Ricky looked with a smile instead of the ugly frown he sported before, Ricky's grin was infectious, and made him glow.

"So you've seen the worst of the worst, ready to join us now? Or is that too much still?" Pence asked, pointing at the door just behind him apprehensively. He just hoped Ricky wouldn't freak out and say something else he would regret. I mean we can always just head back to your place or mine or something if you need time."

The rust haired boy took a breath, clenching his fists, "No that's okay," he said quietly. "But to be absolutely honest, you're going to have to push me through so I don't freeze up and look stupid." Ricky admitted, "I have four years to be with these guys, I don't want to start by being the spaz."

Pence grinned again, it was so strange to see someone being shy about the idea of species, truth is there are so many types and species of Varius that none of them had ever felt weird around humans, the variety at 'The Heart' is too great to allow that to happen normally. Sure with humans there may be that extra moment of awe and curiosity, but Species-ism was next to non-existent at 'The Heart'.

"Sure," he answered, swiftly moving around Ricky and nudging him forward slowly, "Ready?"

Ricky swallowed hard, nodding his head. "Not really, but... quick like a Band-Aid right?" That was apparently all the lion needed because Ricky was being pushed forcefully into the lounge. "Pence!" He called out in shock, watching the eyes of a multitude of animals fall on him as he was charged into the room. "Not funny! Not funny!"

Ricky could hear the lion laughing a bit. "Quick like a Band-Aid right?" he offered, guiding him to a large TV in the back, a lot of the cubs looking back at the loud voice heading there way. Then Pence looked at them as he kept running forward with no sign of stopping "Move!" he shouted, making the children scream and dive out of the way of the oncoming pair.

"Pence stop!" Ricky yelled, trying to stop, but that only made him stumble, mid fall, the lion scooped him up wedding style and leapt over the couch, landing with a bit of a bounce on the cushions.

"This is Ricky!" The lion said loudly, a dumb grin on his face that made Ricky wanna smack him.

"Let go!" Ricky shouted in annoyance, breaking the grip and scooting off Pence's lap, giving the Lion a death stare, "NEVER do that again! Why did you think that was a good idea? Huh?"

The lion kept grinning. "Because it made you think about that and not the people in here," he said grinning, the cubs slowly returning to the couch. They all gave Ricky these odd curious stares that made him feel uncomfortable. "Sit on the floor."

Ricky looked back at him with a distrustful glare, "Why?"

"They wanna check you out, we are still part what you call animal, smells and body language are pretty basic in communication and stuff," Pence said, then waved his paw to point out all the kids, "They are the most primal of all, but so cute, just let em check you out."

Ricky looked back and forth between the floor and Pence like it was some crazy task, like the couch was officially the Grand Canyon and he'd told him to jump. It wasn't until an otter that was older than the rest told him to hurry up did Ricky realize he was stalling. Slowly Ricky lowered himself to the floor, each of the cubs eyeing his every movement. 'Easy does it.' He told himself 'But don't be too slow, don't look stupid AND cowardly.'

It was then that Ricky really appreciated how patient Pence was being with him and his... issues. How often he must wait while Ricky stared emptily into space over the simplest, trying hard to stay calm. Finally, Ricky was sitting, back to the couch and on the floor, the kids slowly working their way around him and above him. He could only imagine it felt like monkeys grooming each other in the wild, random pokes, sniffs, grabs and climbs. Depending on the kid they did everything from sniff his hair and move on to climb into his lap and roll around, Pence called it 'collecting' scents, over 'sampling'. There had to be thirty kids, even the bear and wolf from before moved on over to satiate curiosity and just say 'hi' respectively.

In the agonizing long span of time they took to search him out, Ricky noticed the clothing they wore. Most of them simply wore shorts with tail holes of course, but no shirt. In fact it was kind of humorous that he hadn't noticed because of how animalistic they were. It was the fur that didn't make it such a big deal. Varius were constructed differently than humans. In fact it must just be worked into their society because some of the girls just wore shorts as well, but with animal bodies it looked natural, from Ricky's perspective it was the clothes themselves that seemed out of place draped over their bodies.

Ricky tried his best not to move while being 'sniffed out', not that he needed too at all, the kids pushed and pulled him when they wanted him too, but he did catch glimpses of a snickering lion and otter when he got the chance to look. "Hardy har har, this is freaking hilarious to you guys ain't it?" Ricky pouted, wanting the 'sniffing' to be over.

Pence laughed out loud when he realized he didn't have to hide it, the otter just looking away with his chuckle. "Yeah, you look so...and they just attacked. You're like, covered in a dome of fur," Pence giggled from up on the couch.

"Ha-ha-ha," Ricky remarked dryly. "Why didn't I see the humour earlier?" he added, rolling his eyes, "Are they almost done?" he asked. "I'm pretty done."

Pence smiled at Ricky's perspective on things here. "Why are you asking me? I'm not them, I already sniffed you out. Ask the ones doing the smelling." It was more than a bit trying that for some reason Ricky and all other humans seemed to think Varius all had a connection with one another, but Varius are as connected to other Varius via...instinct, telepathy what have you, as humans are to each other.

"You sniffed me out?" Ricky asked, looking up. "When did this happen?" he asked with a fearful curiosity.

Pence laughed again. "Not in your sleep if that's what you're thinking, ha-ha, no, when we shook paws...hands...you get it, I got my fill then," he motioned to the kids again. "I told you they were the most primal, adults don't do this, we sniff out discreetly like with the handshake."

"You're an adult?" the otter asked, getting an elbow in the side, the water dog grinning all the same.

"Huh," Ricky pondered. "You don't say." Then a pair of paws kept his head tilted towards the lion and started poking whiskers at his neck. From this peculiar position Ricky finally managed to just get a look at his new...well, he would like to think friend, but he knew better then to confused pity with caring, even if they were very similar.

Ricky was tall and naturally built, but Pence was him expanded in every direction. He was a head taller than Ricky's own five eleven with his orange brown mane. The mane itself was cut to look like human hair in contrast to his face fur, side burns and bangs, but went down only to his neck with a natural lift to it. Ricky had natural muscle, but Pence looked jacked, whether or not it was natural muscle or a well-earned gym reward in Varius aspects Ricky didn't know. His paws engulfed Ricky's, his tail had a tuff of fur at the end like most, and his body fur appeared to be yellowish tan, his yellow eyes were large and curious. All in all, Pence was big dude in all the right ways, and wore beach bum cloths much like Alex had before, but no sandals on his massive foot paws.

After what seemed like an ETERNITY, most of the cubs had left him, leaving only a few to lay against him as the movie was put back on 'play' by the otter kid. "See," Pence said, giving Ricky's shoulders a reassuring shake, "Nothing to it."

Why it dawned on him only then was unknown, but Ricky realized where he was and what he was doing. No, he realized what he WASN'T doing. There was no panic, no fear, sure he felt out of place, but it didn't seem to matter as much now that he had taken that crucial first step. Finally Ricky sat back and relaxed, letting out one last held breath that seemed to free him of all his initial worries about the Varius and their intensions.

As if on cue, the little wolf puppy from before crawled over and sat in his lap to watch the movie, leaning back into the bigger human. Instinctually, as he would a dog, Ricky wrapped an arm around the boy, who in turn snuggled in closer.

Pence watched the tell-tale signs of relaxation and ease appear on Ricky. There was no more nervous tick, no glancing around for exits or fidgeting. He didn't make up half assed excuses about a place to be, and most importantly, he didn't try to ease out of the grouping of curious cubs, who Pence knew found a new favourite playmate for the time being, until something else grabbed their attention, as it inevitably would.

Maybe things weren't as dark as he might have thought before.