Story fragment.
Little bit of one of the writings I'm working on. see what you think, and feel free to critique, and make suggestions.
The sun shone brightly on the ice as Jenna made her way along the shoreline. She had been traveling this way for what seemed like weeks. The Glass Shore was a long expanse but none the less, It made her travel quite boring, even with her imaginations being what it was. Needless to say, the sudden hard smack of the ice against her cheek, as she tripped, got her attention. Looking back, she saw a strange black blade, protruding from the light layer of snow. It had a strange angular edge, and only one sharp side. It reminded her of one of her fathers knives. He had picked it up while on an adventure in the horn of Louth. The people there were tropical, so what a knife of theirs would be doing in the ice land, puzzled her. She knelt down near it, and ran her gloved finger lightly across the blade. To her surprise, the edge sliced through the tough leather, like a razor through silk. To hold an edge out in this weather, It must have been of great quality. Intrigued, she carefully grasped the blade along the back edge, and pulled. The knife wouldn't budge. Neither surprised, nor thwarted, she untied the axe from her belt, and began chipping at the ice around the base, being careful not to hit the unusual blade. Perhaps a hands width down, she encountered a course black fur, that seemed to surround the hilt. Undeterred, she chipped at the ice on all sides, to find the same black fur. It occurred to her that it might be more than just a knife. Perhaps she had stumbled across the body of an unfortunate traveler. She paused and sat up, looking around. It would be unlikely, but none the less, the thought of it made her pause for a moment, before continuing. As she widened the circle, a large chunk of ice split free. She used the pick to lever the chunk up enough to get her fingers underneath. Using the pick to pry the other side, she lifted the piece free. As she did, she uttered a sudden gasp, rising quickly to her feet, and letting the pick fall to the ground. Her boots slipped with the sudden movement, sending her to the ground, flat on her back. She lay motionless for a moment, unhurt, but quite startled. Presently, she slowly rolled back onto her hands and knees, and turned back to the blade. Her shock came from the discovery that it was not in fact a blade, but a horn. When she had removed the block, she looked down to see a black, white-less eye, looking up at her. Looking again, she gasped and froze still, in shock. She knew without a doubt what it was, and in fact, who, it was. She had come here seeking the lost golden staff of Aaron. However, it was a well known legend, that Khyth the black, had been drown in one of the rivers in the region. She turned and set her things down to make camp. She didn't know why exactly she wanted to camp here, but her gut seemed set on the idea. She looked back at the stallions eye again. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, and somehow, she could almost feel the struggle he faced in his final moments. What frightened her though, was that the feeling were none she had ever felt. It was almost as if she saw his memory. She shook her head at the notion, but couldn't bring herself to get up and continue. She felt as though something was here, something more than just a body. Beginning to feel the cold seep through her clothing, she decided that she might as well camp here for the night. She pitched her tent not far from where the horn protruded. All the while as she set up her tent, and munched on some dried meat, her thoughts centered around the amazing thing she had uncovered. As she lay down in her bedding, she looked over at the black point, just barely visible in the fading light. Her mind looked though the ice, and her heart beat quickly as she contemplated that the rest of his body lay only feet away under the ice. It took many hours for her to get to sleep.
Chapter break
Jenna woke the next mourning, not forgetting even for a second, the events of last night. As soon as she got back into her cloths, she returned to her find. It was unchanged, and yet she swore that his eye was looking at her. Part of her was frightened and wanted to run. It was such an unnatural sight, seeing his frozen face. But the more adventurous side of her was exited. She had found the resting place of Khith the black. Even more intoxicating, perhaps, was the unshakable feeling that he was still alive somehow. He was rumored to be immune to the cold, and perhaps, he was still there, trapped in his icy body. For quite some time, she sat and thought. She made up her mind to carve him out, or at least, to uncover his head for a better look. She knew there was little point to such an effort, but the nagging curiosity had gotten the better of her, and wouldn't let her be. If he was indeed frozen alive, he wouldn't thaw even if she uncovered him, so she wasn't in danger of reviving him accidentally, not that she honestly believed that it was a possibility. She remembered the old stories again. He was killed for being a rebel. He had killed droves of the kings men, because the sought to capture him, to make him the kings mount. However, after many of the perished, they hunted him instead out of malice. The legend said, that they lured him with a young maiden, and poisoned him, weakening him to be captured live. after that, they tied him to logs, and floated them down a river, dragging him along, to his death. They never found the body, but never saw him again. Jenna smiled to herself. Now she had a story to rival her fathers escapades. She reached to her belt, and again unclipped the pick, and began working at the ice. It was slow going, chipping the ice away, and she tried different approaches she went, improving her speed. Even so, It could take all day, or more to fully uncover the body. The thought of searching for the staff had completely faded from her mind by now. She had no obligations, or deadlines, so she felt no rush to finish her task. by noon, she had gotten the stallions neck, and a foreleg exposed. about a foot down, she had found need to retrieve her hatchet as well, to cut away the branches and limbs that had snagged the stallion. Looking out at the ocean, only an arrows flight downstream, she considered the incredible luck that he hadn't been swept out to sea. The rope still clung around his neck, and for sake of argument, she hadn't removed it. Despite the cold, his body was in immaculate shape, lacking any signs of drying or rot. After two centuries, these would be expected, which only drove her imagination further. She stopped as the sun was overhead to warm herself and eat some. As she sat and rested, she looked over what of the stallion she had uncovered. His fur was all black, and he had a fair deal of feather on his legs. He looked to be a fair sized horse, perhaps around 16 hands. He was quite handsome, she thought with a smile. After she finished her quick meal, she continued her work. After a while it became necessary to open a larger area, to allow her to work, without falling into the hole she had created. After hours at her task, she was getting quite skilled at breaking the ice in just the right places, and after several hours more, she had uncovered most of one of his sides. His hind legs, and his left foreleg were still encased in the ice. Jenna hopped back out of the pit, and lay on her back exhausted. She was more than halfway done though. She gazed up at the setting sun, for a moment, before getting up, and returning to her tent for the night. The thought crossed her mind as to how she would remove the body from the pit, once she had freed it, much less what she would do with it. She began to contemplate the issue, but fell asleep before she made any progress. That night, she dreamed about the stallion again. Nothing particular, no ominous foresight, but again, it was too vivid, and in depth to simply be her own imagination.
The next mourning, when Jenna awoke, It was considerably colder than it had been the last few days. It wasn't unmanageably cold, but it was as cold as she had experienced yet on her quest. She stayed in her tent a while longer than usual, eating a healthy ration of dried meat, in anticipation of the day ahead. The wind was surprisingly light, which was a good thing. It was hard enough to work in the cold, let alone, when a frigid wind was blowing against you. She pulled on all of her gear, and with a grunt, emerged into the frigid world outside. Looking down, she again found the site undisturbed. Jenna hopped down, into the pit, pick and hatchet ready, and began her work again. Bit by bit, she cleared away the Ice on the sides of the stallion. By noon, she was down to where the only ice left, was under the body. She decided to take a break, and climbed out of the pit. as she was walking back to her tent, she looked out across the ocean, a few miles to the west. Dark clouds were forming, and headed inland. At first Jenna thought nothing of it. The last few weeks traveling along the coast, had seen a few such storms. None of them ever touched land, and she figured this one was no different. She retrieved her pack from the tent, and got out some food to eat. As she ate, she watched the clouds. there was something different about this storm. It was growing darker, and had not slowed, even though it was just off the beach. Jenna continued eating, but she was growing worried. She hastily finished her meal, before she hesitantly began to reinforce her tent. The storm kept coming all the while, halving the distance to her in only minutes. The wind began to blow. It was a warm wind. It almost felt hot, compared to the climate here. In the midst of her worry, she looked down at the stallions body. The snow at her feet where she stood had become softer. The warm air was melting the ice! Jenna was considering how she might remove him to safety, when a powerful gust of wind swept her off her feet. She landed unharmed on her side, and looked up at the dark swirling mass blowing over her. She could tell in her gut this was going to be a bad one, and looked around for a place to shelter. One hundred yards away inland, was a small patch of trees, and rocks. she got and stumbled towards her tent, fear coming on, as she saw the stays beginning to pull loose. She quickly retrieved her pack, and started to run towards the patch of trees. she fell more than once making her way there. She threw herself between two trees, and looked back just in time to see her tent break free and tumble away inland. amidst the chaos, she wondered how far the tent would travel. perhaps two miles in that direction, she had navigated around a dense forest, and all she could hope, was that the wind carried it there, and not further. In her pack, she had a days worth of food, and a few odds and ends. her blankets and all were in the tent. For now though, her attention was diverted to keeping herself from blowing away. she flattened herself against the ground as the storm began a barrage of ice cold rain. Everything around her was noise. The wind and rain that pelted her back was constant. She had no idea how long the storm lasted, but at last she began to sense it was passing. By now, the cold and wet had penetrated her suit in a few places, mostly on her back. The storm faded quickly after the worst was past, and the sky was back to it's grey monotony. As she picked herself up and stood, she looked towards the storm. As it continued it's rampage towards the mainland, the strange heat it brought with it, was replaced by the usual cold. She shivered a little, looking over the landscape. it had smoothed over with the melting of the ice. She was snapped back into alertness, as she remembered the stallion. She broke into a run, back across the terrain, to where the hole had been. She looked frantically for it, having no tent or anything for reference. She knew from a few of the landmarks that she must be close, and yet her search yielded only a slight discolored patch in the ice. She sank to her knees over it. The surface had already solidified, and she knew that without her equipment, she couldn't survive another day to dig the stallion free. She reached dejectedly to her belt for the pick, only to remember that she had left it in the pit, beside the body. She stared down at the ice for quite some time, tears in her eyes, knowing that she had lost the greatest thing she had ever found, and that the chances of finding him again were slim to none. eventually, the cold began to reach her skin, and she returned her worry to Her situation. Her suit was still fairly dry, and if she kept moving, she wouldn't freeze. That however would not be the case when nightfall came. She looked up at the sky, noting that the sun had begun it's decent already. She looked back at the ice as she stood. Even with the reality of her predicament settling on her, she longed to try again. She shook her head, brushing the tears of her face before they froze. "I'm sorry" she said, looking down where she imagined the stallion lay. Part of her thought it a childish gesture, but she meant it. She turned bitterly, and somewhat mechanically began making her way back along the coast, desperately hoping that her tent had lodged against the trees. She knew that without the shelter, she would be hard pressed to live through the night, let alone to ever make it back to Half peak.
CHAPTER BREAK
As she trudged along, Jenna Tried to wrap her mind around what had happened. It seemed now, almost like a dream. The chance that she would just happen upon Khyth's body was so remote, let alone, the fact that he had been in such good condition. She knew it wasn't a dream, but it all happened so quickly. In a matters of days, she had made such a wonderful discovery, only to have it swept away as quick as waking. Perhaps that was why it seemed like only a figment her imagination. She could see the black lifeless eye looking up at her, as though it were right in front of her. She was sure that she would be haunted for the rest of her life by that, not because it had frightened her, but because she had lost it. She stopped and looked back. she had little idea how far she had walked, and the realization that she no longer had any idea where the site was, only drove her further into her depressed state. None the less, she continued on, following the coast towards the forest, where god willing, she would at least find her tent. That notion seemed more and more ridiculous as she traveled, and she began to wonder what she would be able to do in the event that she did find herself in such a fix. She did know a few tricks to making shelter of foliage and such, which would surely be her only shelter, unless she was lucky enough to find an unoccupied cave, or den. The sung hung low in the sky, as she began to make out the black line of trees in the distance. The moon shone brightly off to the other side of horizon, ensuring that even with nightfall, she would have some measure of light to see by. The sun had slipped behind the hills as she reached the tree line. Only a faint pattern of oranges and purples lingered on the horizon. Jenna made her way along the edge of the forest until the last light of the fallen sun had faded. She cursed to herself, knowing that she would have to make it without her tent. She hadn't had high hopes of finding it, but the fulfillment of the inevitable came as no comfort. Tired, cold, and hungry, Jenna began to look close by, for shelter. The wind had died down to almost nothing, and the weather was back to normal, not that it was in any way preferable. The forest was dense, and had a good deal of undergrowth, which made travel difficult, only adding to Jenna's despair. She kept a positive mindset, mostly by not thinking about how much of a fix she was in. Trudging along, she eventually found a spot that looked as good as any. Two trees had collapsed at a V, leaving a void where they met, that had been hollowed out by wildlife as a temporary shelter. The depression wasn't terribly deep, and it was obvious that it hadn't been occupied recently. Jenna unceremoniously sat herself down into the spot, and packed her arms and legs close to her body, anticipating a long, miserable night at best. she dug around in her pack, and took out almost all of her remaining food stock. She knew that if she were to have even a ghost of a chance of making it through the night, she would need all the energy she could get. She shivered constantly as she gulped down her meal, and pulled any loose brush she could around in front of her. The night fall only brought colder temperatures, and Jenna could feel her legs and back going numb. Even now, she managed to hold off the nagging thought, that she was going to die. She looked out around her at the world, which now, seemed so peaceful. Slowly, her shivering faded, and she knew she was fading out. Her last thoughts before she slipped from consciousness, were of the stallion. She saw him out on the ice plain, just wandering around. Then everything went dark.
Chapter end...