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What I want to tell you Part 3. By FillyFooler Pain, pain, thats all that was in AppleJack's mind. It hurt to breath; it hurt to think. Emotional and physical pain were mixing and churning, she had a broken rib. It hurt but still her mind was thinking, 'I'm a Fillyfooler, I like mares, Oh Celsetria what would pappa think. How can I, I was raised better then that, Why!!!' She let out a scream of pure frustration. Now she was crying, the tears running thick and fast. She hated,_ hated_, to cry. Why did she have to like mares?

Her mind screamed 'Because you do, now stop feeling sorry for yourself and buck up. We're in a real problem here; we're stuck here with a broken rib. Do you see how much trouble we're in?' It was true, she was in trouble, and she was scared. But still her mind was in turmoil, and she needed to find somepony, anypony to help her 'They will reject you, they will hate you. You have become tainted, no longer pure. You w...'. No, it was time for her to focus. She needed to get from out of this small ditch and out from under this tree.

One hoof at a time she raised herself, gasping all the way. She stood, triumphantly, against the pain 'They will kill you!' and fell down again. She started to see stars, their bright yellow and blue flashes running across her vision, her breath ragged. It was hurting more; she was sure the rib was killing her. _'Stupid Fluttershy, it's all her fault. Why did she have to love me? Why did she try to rape me?' 'Because you rejected her, it's very simple' 'So! That doesn't give her the right to try and take me by force.' _she replied to herself as she lifted a hoof that felt like a thousand tons up on the small ridge. _'Oh please, you know you wanted it, don't try and lie to the element of honesty. You know if she had asked, you would of hurt her.' _her inner voice stated mockingly.

Applejack stood once again on the ridge of her wake, as she stared at the family barn. It seemed like a long way away; how had that happened? She suddenly felt very tired. She wanted to sleep. She couldn't give up could she? She put one hoof in front of the other and took a step, instantly regretting it and collapsing on the ground again. Now this time she landed on her broken rib; it dug more into to her insides. She tried to scream, but no noise came out.

She tried to take a breath but couldn't. She started to panic, and blackness started to descend on her eyes. Sleeping seemed like a very good idea right now, in fact it was perfect. But still the noise of her mind whirled_'Yes, yes. Give in. Die! Die as the evil you are' 'You should of told her' 'How stupid were we?' 'This is our end' 'Is that Big Mac?'_ She opened her eyes wide as she saw Big Macintosh racing towards her. She smiled; she was going to be alright was the last thought that went through her head as the blackness won.

I am hurt

Darkness, darkness all around. But there were voices in the dark. Applejack is scared. "Is sha waking up?"

I am a monster

"Will sha be alright, doc?" an elderly voice said in the darkness that occupied Applejack's mind. "It's hard to say, you say you didn't see anything or anyone?"

Why am I evil, Was I not good, Why do I love them, Those of my kind, Why, Why?

"We can't lose one of yah appl' bunch" a smaller voice chimed "Don't worry, as far as we can tell, all she has is a broken rib that started to rattle around a bit. But what's more concerning is that she may have been raped." a professional voice answered the small voice.

Have I not done good, Pappa did you lie, Have you lied to me about what is wrong and good, Did you tell me a lie!

"Raped!" a louder, masculine voice yelled, "Who would rape Applejack?" "Naw calm down sharp shooter, doc ar' ya shore that sha was raped?" "No miss smith, I'm not, but we found some evidence she was in some way sexually violated." The small voice chimed in "Wh'ts sexually violated mean?" "Shush naw pipsqueak, the big un's ar' talking" To which the small voice answered "Ah am a big pony"

Maybe I was wrong, I do like them, Them of my own kind, How I like them, Their soft fur, They look so good, I like them How I loved that kiss, But I am scared because of these things I want to do. The voices were quiet once again as Applejack fell deeper into her subconscious. She tried to speak, but nothing came out. She tried to see but only saw only blackness. She tried to hear, but all there was was silence.

The cloud of nonexistence surrounded her fully. Some time into her ordeal, a voice, her voice. And then light, and soon she found herself facing herself. But it was her idea version, the wish she wanted. "Hello" her self greeted, "Helo yourself, Ah reckon Ah've blacked out?" "Yes" "Damn it! Ah should be awake, Stupid bloody Fluttershy, this is al' yer fault!" she barked into the whiteness that now surrounded her.

"Actually that's what I'm hear to talk to you about" her ideal approached "Yeah, yeah Ah heard you before" "No, this is more than something of pain and shame" Her self was making no sense. "Ok" "Well you now know you like mares, Correct?" "Yes" Applejack's grudged response came. "Both of us knew, Fluttershy loved us, correct?" the perfect self stated, to the shocked face of Applejack "No, Ah have never kn'wn, how could Ah? Ah really dn't spend a wh'le lot of time with tha grl" "Oh come now, Applejack. I am you and you are me, and we both know that she had those feelings. Do not think, we of your deep mind had not noticed, we know you saw it but you ignored it" " WELL WHT COULD AH HAD DON! Gone up to her and said ' By the way, Ah kn'w yer like mah, Ah think Ah might too, could yer help me' Th't wasn't what pappa taught us!" Applejack said in anger, as the whiteness around her flashed red and purple. "I know, I know. Pappa taught us what was right and what was wrong, but maybe he was wrong?" "NO, NO,NO!!!" Applejack screamed as the red and purple of her mind catapulted her towards reality, out of the deep of her mind and the truths it held.

A harsh, white light burned into her eyes as she opened them. She closed them quickly; it hurt too much to look, trying to turn away but just making a stabbing pain in her sides explode. "Look sha's waking up" an elderly voice said, close to her ear. A slow, monotones beeping tone soon came into hearing.

As she started to open her eyes, she noticed she was surrounded by her family. Granny smith by her head, Big Mac at the end of the bed with Applebloom standing next to him. It brought great appreciation to her heart to know her family cared so much for her.

"Heya Applejack" piped Applebloom from the foot of the bed, "Shush now littlin, we've got matters to discuss." Granny smith said, "Naw Applejack tell us, who did this ta ya?" Always to the point with granny smith, thought Applejack's mind.

Applejack took a needed breath. They were going to know the truth, and it felt liberating. "Fluttershy, Fluttershy did this to me."

She waited for outcry, waited for vows of vengeance, waited at least for acceptance of the truth. But all she received was a stern look from Granny Smith, "Now deary Ah know ya been though a lot..." she said as though talking to filly "ba this be no time for jokes, naw tell us wh' this ta ya!" "Ah'm telling tha truth..." Applejack said as tears silently slid down her face, "sha did it. Sha pushed ma up against a tree and touched me. An' while sha was d'ing that sha was kissing ma, don't ya'll hear me. She raped me, she took all that was pure from me!" Applejack cried out in desperation.

The crying quickly summoned the doctor, "Ahh your awake, good, good. But please miss I ask you to try and not cry too loudly or forcefully. There are other patients and the cast has yet to fully set..." After seeing her visibly settle down and saying "Thank you", he left left the room.

"Ohh Applejack" Applebloom said as she quickly went over and embraced her sister. "Naw, hold on a apple picking minute" Big mac said in his slow southern drawl "Fluttershy wuldn't hurt a fly, infact sha'll give it a bath 'fore sending it on its way. Why wold she do something like this?" He finished.

"I don't know, one minute I'm yelling at her and the next I'm pushed against a tree with her tongue in my mouth and a broken rib" "Why were ya yelling at her?" Granny smith asked, an eyebrow raised. "Because she confessed she loved me!" Applejack yelled, "Can you imagine, her a part of those varmin fillyfoolers and her wanting to join her".

The room was silent, everypony looking at Applejack as if she had finally caught up to something they knew long ago, "Why's ev'eryone looking at ma, like'm stupid" "Cause punkin' pear, we've known that filly been keen on ya for over a year" Granny Smith explained, "AND NO ONE TOLD ME!" Applejack screamed, outraged. "We always thought ya knew, we thought all tha girls knew. The way sha held her self around you and all that blushing, we thought ya wuld catch on" Big Mac carried on "and we were sure as apple pie that ya liked her back."

"How in tarnation did ya figure that, Pappa raised us better then them varmin" Applejack said, trying more to convince herself then her family around her"

"Ahh well deary, Ah always thought what ya pappa did ta that mind of ya'rs when it comes fillyfoolers wer wrong" Granny Smith said, a sad look coming to her eyes as she talked about her long forgotten son.

"Wha! Pappa woulda never done anything like that" "Ah think it's time ah told ya lot why ya mumma left" Granny said, as she took a seat on the floor.