Looking To The Stars: Episode 04 (Lucario & Pikachu)
#5 of Looking To The Stars (Archive)
And I still hate that little yellow punt-able rat. The aura dog though...... he'll be tied up in my bed after this interview is over. But... shhhh! Don't tell him that.
* * = Action and/or stage direction
{ } = Tone of voice
[] = Sound effects
- - = Time Lapse
( ) = My and the character's thoughts
All three: Alec, Taiga, and Kira doing/saying/thinking something in unison
So... anyway... Lights, Camera, Crazy Town!
Alec & Kira: *is sitting on a bench while looking to at the nighttime sky*
Alec: Sometimes I wonder...
Kira: If there's other life out there besides us?
Alec: Hell no. I'm wondering why I haven't quit these interviews and most of all, why on earth are we still doing this?
Kira: For the money of course.
Alec: The same money that you spent on booze and men at the strip club.
Kira: Oh hell yeah~!
Alec: *facepaw*
Kira: Or you could be a cast member of Lost. Don't forget that.
Alec: Dude, don't even joke about that. You know that show pisses me off.
*suddenly a bright light hits the both of them as a UFO hovers above their heads*
Alec: Oh....
Kira: Fuck....
*Two aliens suddenly appear from the light and points to them*
Alien #1: You both shall come with us now.
Alec: .... Uh... why?
Alien #2: To be experimented on of course.
Kira: And anally probed as well?
Alien #2: Exactly.
Kira: Okay! Let's go!
Alien #1: If you don't comply then we will... wait... come again?
Alec: Come on. Let's go already. Those experiments won't start themselves!
Alien #2: But... wait... don't you know what will happen if you come with us. I mean... you'll be--
Kira: Clipped, tagged, probed, and probably anally raped by tentacles. Yeah we know the drill. Now let's go already.
Aliens: ...?
Me: *walks over to them and grabs their shoulders* There you two are. I've been.... *looks at the aliens* ....
Aliens: ....
Me: .... *grabs both of them by the ear* I'm very sorry you two, theses idiots are probably wasting your time. *twists their ears*
Alec & Kira: OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!
Me: *lets go of their ears and watches them run inside the building*
Alien #2: Are all of you furries like that?
Me: No, just those two whore biscuits.
Alien #1: Just... keep them away from us.
Me: Right. I'll handle them later. Uh... there should be some cows next door or something.
Aliens: We'll take the cows.
*The UFO beams them back into their spaceship and they finally fly off*
Me: .... *shakes my head* Weird.... *pulls out a pocket-watch and presses the button on it*
-----o0o-----
-10 hours later-
-----0o0-----
Alec: This is Alec!
Taiga: This is Taiga!
Kira: And this is Kira!
All Three: And this is, once again, another episode of Looking To The Stars!
Alec: And for this interview... *points back behind him, showing a forest instead of a studio background* we had to go to Eterna Forest. Considering they're still repairing the studio from our last little... conundrum. And if the studio gets blown up again in two weeks, we'll officially be cut. Frankly, I have been praying for that day... but I also need the money.
Taiga: So anyway, let's introduce our guests for the week, Lucario and Pikachu.
Alec (in a disgusted voice) & Kira (in a delighted voice): Pikachu?! Are you serious?!
Alec: *growls* Why Pikachu?! I hate that little yellow rat!
Taiga: That's a good enough reason to interview that "little yellow rat".
Alec: *snarls*
Taiga & Kira: Love you too!
Alec: *sighs* Fine. And just HOW do we get them here huh? We don't exactly have any Pokèblocks or Poffins.
Taiga: Hey Lucario, Sir Aaron is looking for ya!
Lucario: *bursts through the bushes while wearing a translator collar* Sir Aaron?!
Kira: Hey Pikachu, Ash Ketchum is coming your way!
Pikachu: *blasts through the bushes* Pika Pika Pi! (Somebody save me!)
Kira: *grabs Pikachu and puts a translator collar on him* Gotcha.
Pikachu: Hey! You tricked me! That isn't fair!
Kira: All's fair in love and yiff.
Alec: That's love and war.
Kira: And what?
Alec: Never mind.
Lucario: What is this anyway?
Alec: This is Looking To The Stars.
Lucario: Say... what now?
Taiga: Yep. An interview.
Pikachu: *jumps out of Kira's arms* Um... didn't starwing--
Alec & Taiga: Shut the hell up you pathetic excuse for a living lightning rod!
Pikachu: Didn't have to say all of that...
Alec: Anyway, let's get this over with. So anyway, give us some information on what it's like to be a Pokémon and being with your trainer.
Lucario & Pikachu: Torture!
Alec: Say wha?
Lucario: It is complete torture! Almost like slavery over here!
Alec: Pardon?
Pikachu: First they catch us in these small damn balls that shrink to be even SMALLER when we're not needed!
Lucario: Then once it finally grows for just that TINY bit of extra room, we're forced to obey their will and fight against our brothers and sisters just for their enjoyment!
Pikachu: Not to mention that bullshit that they feed us after a battle and those toxic potions that they spray us with! It's like we're their lab rats!
Lucario: And once we finish our death match, they heartlessly drag us back into those little red and white prisons! Just to be used all over again in match after match like mindless robots with only SECONDS to relax and recover!
Lucario & Pikachu: So much suffering! So much damn suffering! *hugs each other and starts crying*
Kira: *cries along with them* That is so sad!
Alec: .... You're both lying hard aren't you?
Lucario & Pikachu: *perks ears in unison* .... Yeah. We are.
Taiga: The "so much suffering" part was a little much. You made Kira cry while you two idiots were using that Fake Tears attack.
Lucario & Pikachu: Hehehe~
Taiga: Then how is it really in those Pokeballs?
Pikachu: *starts thinking of a club with the hottest music and the finest of girls* It's... pretty good.
Alec: That's not what that bone between your legs say.
Pikachu: I know it's big but why ya looking so hard?
Taiga: Pwned bitch!
Alec: *death-glares at Taiga*
Pikachu: Next?
Taiga: This is for Pikachu. Do you like being with Ash and being with him on his adventures?
Pikachu: Can you wake up a Snorlax easily?
Alec: No?
Pikachu: Next question.
Taiga: This one is for Lucario. Why is it that you're so popular a Pokemon?
Lucario: Have you seen this body? How can you resist this? *poses*
Kira: *wolf whistles*
Taiga: *slaps Kira upside the head and growls* Must you do that to every guy you meet?!
Alec: Oh... kay....
Kira: *rubs the back of her head and growls* Next question, for Lucario. Is Sir Aaron your actual master and trainer, or was that for the movie?
Lucario: Oh he's my gay lover.
All four of them: Say what?!
Lucario: I didn't tell? It wasn't obvious?
All four: No!
Pikachu: I would remember you telling me something like this! You're gay?!
Lucario: Duh. Think about it. Look at my figure.
All four: .... OoOOOOOOOoooh.
Lucario: Gah...
Alec: *takes the clipboard from Kira* Okay, Pikachu, if there was one other trainer you could be with, who would it be?
Pikachu: Gary.
Alec: That's what I guessed.
Pikachu: Better him than Ash right?
Alec: Agreed. Okay, Lucario, How do you feel about 4Kids entertainment?
Lucario: *summons up an Aura Sphere* I dare you to say that again. I fucking dare you.
Alec: *holds his paws up* Woah! Woah! Woah! Relax man! I'm just asking!
Pikachu: *gets in front of Lucario while waving his little arms around* Relax man. Relax. They were just asking. That's what interviewers do. Just... relax.
Lucario: *growls for a while then he makes the sphere disappear*
Alec: What the fuck just happened?!
Pikachu: What...? Well... they uh... they... well... they... did things... to him....
Kira: Things? You mean... he was... raped?
Pikachu: Raped? No. They rejected his request for a comedy special using guns and sex jokes.
Kira: Those fiends!
Alec: .... *facepaw* Right... Oh yeah, Pikachu, How do you feel about being the shorty in the group?
Kira: Yeah, size DOES matter....
Alec: That's not even what I meant you pervert.
Kira: Ohh.
Alec: *looks at Pikachu* Anyway... how does it....
Pikachu: *is glaring at Alec with electricity sparking from its cheeks*
Alec: Uh... never mind.
Pikachu: Good choice.
Alec: Okay.... We should have only three questions left. So how... *looks around the area* Wait a minute... where did Taiga go?
Kira: *perks ears and looks around* Hey, where did pimp daddy go?
Alec: Say what!?
Kira: Nothing. ^^"
Taiga: *comes back walking with a female Dragonite* Guess who lost their V card?
Dragonite: Hehehe. *blushes and kisses Taiga's cheek*
Alec: But... but... *facepaw*
Kira: And you call ME horny?
Alec: And I deeply apologize for that.
Taiga: What? You people bore me.
Lucario: Alice!?
Dragonite: Holy shit! Lora!
The three loonies: Lora?!
Pikachu: He nicknamed you Lora?! I know you're gay but really?!
Lucario: Uh... well... I... um... eh... erm... ah fuck.
*off-line*
Alec: Woah. Woah. Woah. Why did you put "The three loonies"? Really... what the hell Thrill?
Me: So sue me. I thought it would be funny.
Alec: But seriously!? Just... just seriously!? Really!?
Me: *shrugs*
Alec: *sighs* Whatever. Just... let's... whatever.
*back on-line*
Alec & Taiga: *bursts out laughing while pointing at Lucario* You have a girls name you femboi! HAHAHAHAHA!!
Lucario: W-Well it isn't my f-fault. Sir A-Aaron t-thought it was c-cute.
Alec: *falls to the ground, laughing even harder* I can't breathe! I can't breathe! *rolls around while clenching his stomach*
Lucario: *sniffle* I-It isn't that funny.
Pikachu: *pats Lucario's leg* It's okay buddy. I'm not laughing at you. It's okay.
Lucario: *sniffles more and wipes his tears from his cheeks* T-Thanks... Pikachu.
Taiga: *rolls my eyes* You can go now Alice.
Alice the Dragonite: *giggles and kisses Taiga's cheek before flying off*
Alec: *sits up and coughs as he pulls himself together* Okay... so... *clears his throat* Right then. Is there anything else?
Kira: I have a question.
Alec: Okay?
Kira: What's with the pants?
Lucario: .... What?
Kira: Yeah. I've seen some pictures without you and those jeans. I mean really? What are those for? No other Pokemon wears clothes.
Lucario: These are parts of my thighs!
Kira: Wh... what?
Lucario: I am tired of people doing that to me! These are parts of my thighs! My thighs! These are not jeans or shorts or anything of the various content!
Alec: Okay. Okay. Don't blow a fuse. Anyway... that's all the questions. Thank you Pikachu and Lucario.
Pikachu: No problem dude.
Lucario: *rolls his eyes* Whatever.
Alec: *whispers to Kira* I really like his shorts though.
Lucario: *twitches ears*
Kira: *whispers to Alec* You still think they're shorts?
Alec: They have to be. Just look at them.
Kira: I don't know. Now that I look at them....
Alec: Just trust me on this.
Lucario: Yo Alec!
Alec: Yeah?
Lucario: Watch the power of Aura! *jumps into the air*
Alec: Say what?
Pikachu: Ah crap! *runs off*
Taiga & Kira: *runs off as well*
Lucario: *thrusts both his arms in the air* Aura...!
Alec: ... Shit.
Lucario: STORM!! *thrusts his arms down and fires a massive beam of Aura down on Alec*
Alec: AAAAHHHHH!!!!
[BOOOOOOOM!!!]
Me: *turns off the moniter* So... that's what happened eh?
Taiga: Yep.
Luna: *walks inside and chuckles* You saw that video too Thrill?
Me: Yeah... just... wow. He doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut does he?
Luna: No he does not.
Taiga: I'm going to the strip club now. See ya later. *walks off*
Daichi: *walks inside and yawns* You forgot to do the copyrights Thrill.
Me: Oh yeah. *holds up a clipboard* Alec the wolf, Taiga the dragon, and Kira the lioness all belong to Thrillseeker who is also known as Kunai994.
Daichi: *looks at the clipboard* Lucario and Pikachu, of the famous media franchise Pokémon, both belong to Satoshi Tajiri and published and owned by Nintendo®.
Luna: All of the jokes, gags, sick puns, and dumb ideas were all thought up right off the bat. If any of these look stolen, overused, negative to the company, or racist/sexist/etc in any way possible, it is completely by accident and thus should be reported to us so that it may be changed and/or deleted.
Daichi: And by we, we mean Thrill.
Me: HEY!
Luna: *giggles*
Me: *sighs* Anway.... Hope you enjoyed the interview and I hope you will tune in again for another episode of... Looking To The Stars!