The Arousal part 4
#4 of The Arousal
At this point I was stunned beyond belief. Not only did I sleep with this handsome black stallion, but for the first time in my life I encountered sexual contact with another male and completely enjoyed it. I needed to talk to someone, to tell someone my experience and I needed advice quickly. Although I always thought I was bisexual because I was attracted to both females and males, this encounter has made me second guess if I was completely gay. Although I didn't have many friends back home, at least nobody that really knew me, I did in fact have a friend that I did talk to a lot, just not about sexual things. I would call her first thing tomorrow and share my experience and hopefully get some advice as well.
Derrick slowly started to wake up; he rolled over and pulled himself out of bed. It was clear that he was not much of a morning person; however he was pretty wasted last night. He looked over as he was putting on his clothes and said "dude, I hope I didn't make things weird between us, your cool and all but, you know, we just met and all." At this point I knew how wrong I was to have slept with him last night. Not only did I know nothing about this guy, but I had just met him, what the hell was I thinking? I looked at Derrick and said "uh... no not at all, I don't even know what I was thinking, I must have been the one a little drunk last night" as I laughed it off. Inside I felt humiliated, dumb, and confused. As he shuffled through his clothes and was out the door, I immediately picked up my cell phone.
Saph was a year older than me, so I haven't seen her in some time since she has graduated and moved away. She was a dragon, a beautiful dragon indeed. I also had a thing for Saph, however thing were obviously complicated in the little mind of mine, but I had always been able to go to her for most of my problems, so once again this is where I will go. I had only hoped her phone number was still the same and she would even care to hear from me. I heard the phone ring two times and heard that soft gentle voice on the other end "hello?" She said. Um... Hey Saph, this is Jake, how are you? It sounds crazy, but I swear I heard her soft smile through the phone. "Oh... hey Jake, I am good! How are you?" I started to calm down a bit just hearing a familiar voice and I said "I am good, but as always I need advice, but I am not home I am off at college now, I am in New York" To my surprise she is also in New York right now, for an interview so we immediately made plans have lunch after all, I don't start my classes until Monday and today was only Saturday.
Later That Evening.....
I stood outside this Loui's Café, it seemed really nice, very much like a small town diner, at which Saph chose. I could see why she chose it, it kind of reminded me of home. We were both from a small town in Tennessee, a lot of farms around our neck of the woods but we couldn't wait to get out of that place but look at us now, finding the first thing that reminds us of home. Just as I turned around I saw that beautiful eyed dragon. Her looks hadn't changed at all, except she was more beautiful now than the last time I had seen her and she seemed a lot more sophisticated. "Jake.... She said how the hell are you?" She hugged me tightly. This was such a feeling of comfort to know someone so familiar. So as we walked into the Café and sat down we ordered some food and I began to explain to her my dilemma, I did leave out the part about me thinking I was completely gay though, because when she walked up to me I began to remember how hard it was for me to not be attracted to her or miss the times we spent together. At one point in my life, I was sure I loved her, but of course because of my parents I hadn't dated anyone especially when I needed to also get my head straight before knowing what I really wanted. Saph, as always was so good at giving me advice and just explained it is not about what you are but about who you are. I begin to realize why I felt so uncomfortable when Derrick said I'm gay and why it was so hard for me to label myself. We shouldn't have to label ourselves, but to know that just because I was attracted to a male or desired a male does not make me "gay" but it just makes me who I am... and that is me! Saph wasn't too far away from the café, so I walked her home and took her to the door. She joked several times with me saying what a gentleman I was, as I began walking away from the door I kept thinking to myself how much I wanted to kiss her and just as I turned around again to say good night she stood right in front of me staring into my eyes and she lightly kissed my lips and ran up the stairs into her house.
I went to her for advice but I think at this point I was more confused than anything. As I was on my way back to my dorm, I pondered the thought of my past, present and future and what I wanted for myself. I finally arrived back at my dorm and as I opened the door, I smelled the alcohol that Derrick must have been drinking while I was gone because as I stepped into the dorm there Derrick was laying in my bed completely naked!