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The despair was indeed overwhelming. All I could visualize was Nightmare Moon running out of power, us getting stuck a million years in the past, and her forcing me to serve her for the rest of my short, miserable life. There was no fucking way anything else could happen. Right? Or worse, we'd get married. Then it would be the end of Zardoz all over again. Damn that movie. Totally ruined the slow movement of Beethoven's 7th - that was what my roommate used to say, anyway, every time his playlist hit that he'd rant about the movie. That would have ruined the symphony for me even if I hadn't seen the movie. And what was it that that summary review said? Something about equations being projected across Mae's naked breasts while she explained marxist philosophy, and there are sentences you sometimes write and then wonder went wrong in your life that that's something you ended up writing?

We jolted to a landing in the dark, with a strong hot wind pepperered with raindrops.

Nightmare Moon erected a bubble around us - not a spherical bubble, but a streamlined one. "You broke my despair! I established the timestream, but we barely got started."

I couldn't quite respond yet, stifling laughter.

She gestured to my hands. "Put those away." I looked down, realizing I was holding some marbles in a death-grip... marbles? The elements of harmony had shrunk. I carefully poured them in my windbreaker's breast pocket... and wham.

I had thought the despair was serious before. This time, there were no words. No images. Not even assertions. Just hopelessness, meaninglessness. The only refuge was in numbness - in the meaninglessness itself - and that was a pretty shitty refuge.

By the time I was aware that we had landed - aware of anything, really - we were in Nightmare Moon's traveling mist. That was very disorienting to become aware into. When we re-formed, I fell on my face in gritty sand. The air was ripe with salt and rot, jolting me further towards clearheadedness. It was an extremely hot night.

Nightmare Moon loudly declared, "We have proceeded eighty five and a half million years. We can jump four times without further preparation." As she said that, I absorbed our surroundings - the sea in front, and behind us, a vast desert. To our left, a crescent moon suggesting immediate pre-dawn or post-dusk.

"Okay. The species I'm most familiar with the development of on these time-scales is... the horse! Let's go find us some eohippus or merychippus or whatever they've got these days. And keep an eye out for any sort of mammal..."

Hunting up some proto-horses took all night, most of which was spent finding grasslands. In the morning light, Nightmare Moon caught a few specimens and I examined them.

"How long?"

"We have at least twelve million years to go. Maybe longer - much longer, even - but not close to fifty million. There's major diversity of mammals, so we're nowhere near the beginning of the Eocene. And it gets worse. If we end up around, say, a million years back, then we're too close for evolutionary time scales to be much help unless we can find humans, but there were so few of those for so long, the search could take years. Even skipping the ice ages... Better to look for Equestria in that case. If it is that old, and if that would actually help."

"Finding Equestria would solve the problem immediately. We shall jump your twelve million years. Are you prepared to despair?"

Not really, but what else could I do? I took a deep breath, knelt, and nodded, and let the inevitability of entropy strike me again.

We appeared on a grassy hillside near a mountain, surrounded by a golden deciduous forest mixed with stubby evergreens. Havng knelt, I was more stable upon landing, giving me a more relaxed recovery. The sun was on the horizon, and I pulled my windbreaker on to ward against the chill.

Nightmare Moon frowned, sniffing. "Worlds. There are other worlds about. Perhaps Equestria. One of the entrances is near enough to sniff out."

We left the stone of cold fire behind for a bit, along with the eggs in a climate-controlled bubble. I followed her up the slope, to a rock outcropping. Most of the way up, Nightmare Moon relaxed. "Yes. Right here... it's pressed up close, but there's no basis of similarity to bridge with."

"Isn't it odd that we'd find a world so close to where we landed?" I asked.

She took a moment to allow me to provide an honorific; upon not getting one, she thundered, "You continue in your familiar disrespect. Have court manners dropped so far in my absence, or are you a lout?"

After a moment of consideration, I replied, "I am not accustomed to your court rules, your highness."

"In the court only the nobles may look us in the eye, after a deep supplication. All others must avert their gaze entirely. As I have not assumed the throne, I have not insisted on this yet, but accustom yourself to it."

"I will comply, your highness." I bowed low, then stood and looked her in the eyes. She raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement of my seeming claim of nobility. "Princess, this particular protocol has changed in the time you were absent."

"It will be reinstated. Acknowledging the essential difference of royalty is itself essential to order."

I chose my words with care: "You may wish to examine the causes and history of this change before attempting to reverse it. At the least, you will want to anticipate the side-effects of such a decree."

In a voice of cold fire, she hissed, "It is essential." Less extremely, she went on, "I must learn how this could have happened, so I can reverse it before my coronation, so I will never be reigning princess without it." Then after a moment, she added, "Join me."

I came up close, wondering just how much more of her I could take. With a little more trepidation, I wondered how much more of me she could take. We misted up, went nowhere, and reformed.

We were in a city, mostly stone, mostly intact, and very grand. Nothing was living. A red sun hung high in a sky that verged on black so dark that several other stars could be made out clearly. All of the building interiors were, similarly, black, the dim red light outside just sufficient to prevent adapting one's eyes to see in. Odd - red light is usually best for seeing in low light conditions. Different world, different rules?

Nightmare Moon's hoofbeats rang out with long echoes as she took a few short steps before halting again. Her manner did not betray any unease, but I don't believe for a moment that she wasn't on edge. It was damn creepy. Her horn began glowing that painful black, and I wished I hadn't lost my sunglasses back in Celesteville. That was probably some pretty hefty UV... if not something worse. Oh crap.

I whispered, "Princess... I know of only one thing that can cause this sort of destruction."

Her voice was soft too, but not down to a whisper: "A deplorable word."

"I was thinking neutron bombs, but I yield to your expertise. What does it do?" It's funny how hearing about a magical world-destroying effect was less scary than the possibility of lingering radioactivity.

She didn't answer directly, instead setting out at a stiff walk. "The speaker of the word is this way."

"Still alive?"

She glared at me. "I am not here to explain everything." But as she followed the trail, enough time passed that she did, if only to alleviate my oppressive ignorance: "Worlds exist in different ways. This world is clay - like yours - but rather than governed by light, is governed by the spoken word. Life in this world is not based in the matter like in your world, nor from individual springs of light like in Equestria - here life springs from a central source of the words. A 'deplorable word'... contradicted that source, convincingly, for all others."

I pondered whether this elaborate model could actually have any predictive power, or whether it was just endless description adding more and more layers without ever pinning anything down.

The palace gates were barred, but after a few moments of levitation, the bars thunked down and one door of the gate swung open. I felt like I was wandering into the Tomb of Horrors as a level 1 thief. Even if I was with a level 15 princess of darkness, it just wasn't a good place to be a minion.

But my fears were not borne out. The palace was opulent, with statues and murals and the odd fountain. Much of it was open to the air, though it had clearly not always been so - at times we picked our way over shattered skylights. There was damage to the walls - large gouges that extended across stone blocks - that seemed surely from fighting. This was less than reassuring, but everything about us persisted in remaining still and dead. Most importantly, not killing us.

We came, finally, to a room with people in it. Or rather, very convincing statues, seated in a row. All were good-looking, and not a few were very attractive indeed. The nearest to us was a tall, fierce woman, grimly satisfied, and sizzling hot. I moved along the line, looking at the others. They were all richly dressed, and had the same proud bearing. Those in the beginning were a bit less fierce than the first, and those further on were neutral, and at the far end, a benevolent smile was the norm.

"So, which is it?" Of course, I could have easily guessed which one it was - the first. These good people could not have said such a word and remained that way. But Nightmare Moon was looking in the middle of the room, staring at a pedestal supporting a bell. I approached her and looked - there were words in a foreign language, but after a few moments I got a sense that the meaning was just out of reach, and if I thought...

Nightmare Moon, having already spent this time, recited,

Move to strike the bell of wonder Or halt and make your dearest blunder: Claim the power, treasures find, or stay your hand and lose your mind.

After a pause, she said, "I'd expect pentameter from a place like this, not vulgar tetrameter."

I cracked. "That's odd - to me, it began to form something like what you read, but now it just says 'bite me'." I struggled and succeeded in keeping a straight face, seriously wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut. I can not afford to break character as her faithful if somewhat headstrong servant!

Fortunately - and against all expectation, given her recent rants - she ignored me and added, "The enchantment producing this doggerel shared a trigger with another - presumably one to induce mad curiosity - but its form was specific to creatures of the word, and we were unaffected." She twitched. "At least, not effectively." After a few more moments of inspection, she traced along the floor up to that first statue. "And if the bell is rung, it starts a chain reaction which results in waking this woman."

She paused. "So, Omar. You always seem to have something to say, and sometimes it was worth hearing. What do you say now?"

"Burn!" I thought, but the obvious question arose: "If we wake her, can she used the deplorable word on us? And why would we even do that? She committed omnicide. She doesn't even bother to hide her contempt. I strongly suggest we let sleeping bitches lie and work on getting home."

Nightmare Moon approached the woman, and spoke with a twisted tenderness. "I wonder what drove her to it. What failure or loss could she not bear? What evil was so great that oblivion was preferable?"

"Oblivion for everyone else, that is."

"As she sleeps here, do you think she is the slightest bit aware?"

"And she'll wake some day, when some stupid, evil person wakes her up."

"Stupid? Evil? Do not tell me of what your tiny perspective considers right or wrong!" Her nostrils flared and she stomped a thunderous stomp. I staggered back, and my elbow bumped the bell.

It started as a thunk, but once my elbow wasn't touching it, it ran clear. I grabbed it, trying to stifle the sound, but it amplified, growing. After a second I could not bear to touch the vibrating bell any longer, and stood back, covering my ears against the now-overwhelming sound.

Nightmare Moon created a bubble about herself (I was left to deal with the sound on my own) and went to face the sorceress. I moved alongside Nightmare Moon as close as possible. As the sound peaked, bits of stone broke free and fell from the ceiling - but soon the sound halted abruptly.