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Without thinking Marion quickly moved over to Chris, who he guessed was under the bundle of blankets. A feeling of worry filled him, though he didn't even know why the pup was crying yet; still, hearing the sound made him feel distraught. What had happened? Was there an incident at school? No, surely Ben would've told him if there was. Sitting down and putting a paw over the pup's leg he hoped the pup would come out of the shell of blankets, "Hey...what's wrong?"

The voice came through perfectly clear. Chris kicked his father's touch away and pulled the blanket up further over his head. All day. He'd waited all day. Every second at school he'd been in an anxious fit. Deep down he knew his father hadn't remembered, which only made the hurt that much more sharp.

"Pup?"

"G--Go away!" Chris yelped, the warm liquid still streaming down his face. The second he'd closed the door behind him he found he couldn't move further. The frail, almost pathetic hope he'd clung to shattered--or at least he finally allowed it to do so. For the past hour he'd found himself stuck on the couch, the only real act he'd ever done was to pull a stray blanket over his body.

"Chris, what happened? Are you OK?" Marion asked, feeling more and more worried. It was rare for the pup to be this upset. There were days when he knew Chris was a bit depressed, but even then the pup would come and talk with him. The date he'd enjoyed so much now seemed a million miles back in his mind. "Di--Did something happen at school?"

Chris felt a growl rise up in his throat. "No! Nothing happened!" he barked, though it didn't sound nearly as threatening as his father's growls. Then again, his voice was still deepening and he was too busy crying. He sounded like a pup--still...

Marion winced when the pup once more kicked away his paw, this time following through and hitting his leg too. It was now a bit more obvious that the pup wasn't crying because of anything at school---nothing could upset Chris this much. The fact that Chris kicked him hurt too, mostly because he knew the pup had meant to do so. Chris wasn't violent. The only reason Chris was ever this sad was because......... "Chris......"

There it was. Chris's scowl deepened and he felt he would've made a sharp retort if his sobs didn't increase so much at the wolf's recognition. It hurt all the more now: that was the proof of it all--his dad had forgotten. His father hadn't cared.

"Chris I'm so sorry,"

Chris just pushed away from his father, trying his best to stifle a cry as he did so.

It was a long weekend, but it was more than that. This was one of the few chances during the school year that going back down to Chris's old hometown was possible. Because of school it was so rare to be able to go. Of course they were going to take one day off in a few months, to go down--on the day Nancy had actually passed. But still, he'd promised the pup they would go down for a long weekend. They were going to go to Henry's Buffet, the park, perhaps pop in on some of his family, and of course go by Nancy's grave. Sure, they could've gone to a Henry's Buffet nearly anywhere, but Marion knew the pup would always have a connection to the one down south--the one in his old home town.

Reaching out again Marion winced when the pup actually swatted his paw away. He fel this own voice seem to tighten, "Chris...I'm so sorry...we can still go, if we leave now th--"

"Why bother?" Chris sobbed under the covers. His dad was supposed to get him out of school early for the eight hour drive--they wouldn't be down there till nearly three in the morning now, if they even left.

"Because...I know you want to g--"

"You don't care," Chris barked back, rubbing his nose across his sleeve and sniffling as he did.

"Chris, you know I do," Marion said, and, to his surprise was able to lift the blanket enough off the pup to see his son's face. The black fur around his muzzle was matted with tears, and his eyes were red from his crying. "Pup...y--"

"You forgot! You forgot!" Chris barked, only seeing a blur of his father for the tears that blocked his vision.

It was true. He had forgotten. In the business of thinking about how he was going to come out to the pup and introduce Ben into his life he had forgotten one of the most important dates he'd made with Chris. In the back of his mind he knew Chris was really upset about him having forgotten, not the trip itself. A tear of his own leaked down his muzzle, "Pup...I--"

"I--I ha--hat----Why?" Chris bawled, unable to tell the wolf he hated him; it wasn't true. His dad was one of the only people he had anymore it seemed. His friends didn't understand it, not like his father did--like he was supposed to. Who would understand? Maybe his own father didn't even understand; otherwise, wouldn't he have remembered? Why hadn't his father remembered? Why hadn't he just told his father the date was coming up? Why should've he had to?

"Chris, I'm sorry...come-on...we can still go, I promise," Marion said, but, even if the pup just sniffled and looked away he couldn't help but hear a retort. What value did his promises hold? He couldn't even keep one to his son. Telling himself it was just a mistake didn't help; it only made it worse. "Pup..."

Chris sniffled again, trying his best to not break down again. He couldn't stand what happened next; it didn't feel right. His father's arms wrapped around him and, even though he didn't want to, he relaxed into them. He was angry with his dad. He had to be angry...

___________________________

After six hours Marion found himself pulling into the familiar motel, one that always seemed basked in a gloomy tone. Of course, how could it not have such a gloomy aura about it? This was the place they had spent a week after Nancy's death. Still, it was one of the only places to stay in town--though Marion also knew that a new hotel was supposed to open in the coming year. When it finally opened they would stay there--he would get the pup away from any unpleasent reminders.

They had made the drive a bit quicker, since it had been so late when they left. Traffic had died down and after a bit it had seemed like they were the only ones on the road. It hadn't been terribly difficult to convince the pup to come--though he knew Chris was still angry with him. More than once he caught a glare in his direction, and they hurt every time. The pup always hid the glares though. It made him a bit glad for some reason that the pup did so; as if it made it seem as though Chris's anger wasn't directed at him entirely. Looking over at the pup he gave his most encouraging smile, "We're here,"

Chris opened the door and got out, still not speaking. Aside from still being a bit angry at his father, he felt the same gloomy aura this place still put off. Even now, when it was coming up on three years nothing had changed. The pain still felt like a fresh wound--an incredibly fresh wound.

He couldn't help but think back on his first summer with his father--when he'd raided the drug cabinet with Will. It was times like now when he wondered more and more about the pill he'd nearly swallowed. His father told him it was a painkiller--would it take away this pain? Even in his sorrow he knew how terribly cliché the thought was, but if it would take away the pain he wouldn't have cared.

It wasn't supposed to feel like this still was it? Wasn't it supposed to get easier with time? Why, after all these months, did it still feel like so fresh a wound? At best he found he didn't cry himself to sleep anymore, but any thought about his mother still smarted his eyes. Was he being pathetic; not being able to get over it? Or did that make him emotionless to get over it? Maybe it was just going to be this way for a very long time.

Of course, maybe he was a bit better; maybe it all depended. Some days felt nearly unbearable, and others were OK. He couldn't say he was depressed; no, life was good to him.

It was just this one thing.

This one...scar?

What would his dad do? He knew in some ways though. After all, his father only had his mother left--but Marion didn't cry or get teary eyed all the time. Why was his dad OK about a lost parent but not him? He had her longer...he...he didn't get his time stolen f--

Chris let out a growl and found he couldn't even finish his thought. The door in front of him was unlocked and he quickly moved in, not bothering to speak with his father or look around. Without a word he moved over to one of the beds and plopped down onto it, facing a wall and fighting not to curl up in a ball. He didn't like that he curled up in a ball; it wasn't like he was weak.

"OK...well, I'll set our clothes just on the shelf...we can just dig 'em out," Marion said. "Be right back,"

"Hmph,"

Well, that was the best response he'd gotten out of the pup all day. Marion silently nodded to the pup before moving out once more to the car. He brought in the rest of their luggage, letting out a tired yawn as he did. It was nearly three in the morning, but tomorrow they were still going to get up early and go straight to Nancy's grave. Well, perhaps not straight there, but it would be the ultimate destination.

Making his way back into the motel room he looked over to see Chris had burrowed into the bed. He opened his mouth to tell the pup to brush his teeth and not sleep in his clothes but the words never came out. For a few moments he just stood there, muzzle agape and staring at the bundle of sheets. Right now the last thing he wanted to do was anything that would upset the pup, even something as simple as a regular chore.

Instead he simply turned off the light before heading to the bathroom and getting ready for bed. He quickly brushed his own teeth and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and within five minutes was staring up into pitch black. Despite being tired, he wasn't tired. Sure, his eyes were a bit heavy, and his body was rather stiff and would've welcomed the rest, but his mind--his mind was still running faster than usual.

How did he forget? In worrying about telling Chris he was gay he'd managed to truly mess up. What would happen if he told Chris he was gay now? The pup would probably hate him. Or, maybe Chris would accept him--understand how nervous he'd been. That, the reason he'd forgotten was that he was so concerned with the pup?

No, that didn't come off right. Besides, he needed to be able to juggle his own concerns with Chris's; wasn't that what a parent did? Wasn't his job to make it look like everythign was fine in his own life so he could guide Chris? If so, he couldn't help but scowl at the job he was doing--or the lack thereof.

He couldn't tell the pup he was gay--not now. The last thing the pup needed was anything that would make him upset? But why would it make him upset? Maybe Chris would accept it? Welcome it? Or maybe he wouldn't. Marion sighed and shook his head, this wasn't supposed to difficult was it? How had come out to his parents? Mom, Dad...I'm gay

_Seemed so much easier then..._he thought with a small smile.

It may have been a few hours, or it could've simply been a few minutes. Marion wasn't entirely sure. He simply knew that the only thing that brought him away from his mind was a sudden depression in the bed. The initial movement scared him and he nearly jumped out of his skin, but there was nothing to be scared of. No closet; so no serial killer could hide in it. And he'd locked the door and everything.

It was surely Chris. But why? Marion looked over but it was useless. He wouldn't have even been able to see his own paw--a curse of having black fur in the dark. Maybe the pup was sleepwalking? Slowly, and hoping he didn't upset the pup, Marion reached out and felt one of the pup's ears under his paw. He pressed down gently, running his paw across the pup's head. He settled for the one, hopefully comforting touch.

A few more minutes passed. Slowly, but surely, Marion noted how Chris shuffled closer to him. The pup was still not speaking to him though. There wasn't any more movement when the pup got close, even though he could feel the heat from Chris running over to him. Moving an arm around he pulled Chris closer, noting how the pup allowed his arm to go under him. Soon the pup was nestled against him, Chris using his chest instead of a pillow.

"Chris?" Marion asked, looking down at the pup who just nestled closer to him. He waited to see if Chris might finally speak to him but the pup seemed more than set on not speaking. If anything he could at least admire his son's resolution. After a few more moments he leaned down and planted a quick kiss to the pup's head and relaxed yet again. It didn't take long before he recognized the snoozes from the pup, and his own soon followed. He felt better.

He felt better. Being next to him. Chris nuzzled his father and let out a sigh--wondering why, when he was still upset with his father, the wolf was the only one who gave him any solace either.

___________________

Marion kept his eyes on Chris who was still sitting in the same spot he'd been at for three hours now. Above their heads dark clouds seemed the paint a portrait of just how they both felt at the moment. Far away--though he knew just how little that meant--a clap of thunder rang through the sky.

They were currently at Nancy's grave, as they had been for the past four hours. The first hour he'd been with Chris. They had stopped by a flower shop and Marion had picked out a dozen roses for the grave, then told Chris to get something of his own for the grave. To his surprise the pup also chose a rose; but a very light pink one while the others were a deep red. When he'd arrived he'd set them down, said a small prayer to himself and Nancy, then waited for his pup.

He was sure to give Chris his space. After the first hour he found himself needing to sit down, and it provided an excellent chance for Chris to be on his own. After another hour he'd gone back to see what Chris was doing, but the pup hadn't moved, and for another hour he'd stayed with him. And now he was back at the car, leaning against the door and watching the clouds roll past--seeming like they were heavy, getting closer, ever closer. Even fifty or so odd yards away he could easily make out the pink rose between the dozen red ones. Occasionally Chris would pick it up and twirl it between his paws.

Chris hadn't spoken to him very much today; all he'd gotten were a weak 'good morning' and some mumbling agreements to questions that didn't mean anything to begin with. Truthfully, nothing the pup had said could really count as conversation.

It didn't annoy him. He knew he would've stood in his spot for days to wait on the pup, but he couldn't say he wasn't a bit surprised at how long Chris could stand there. Occasionally he noted his son's mouth open slightly, but he wasn't sure if Chris ever spoke or if it was just his imagination. Most furs, even adults, would be hard pressed to stand still for a few minutes, and yet his son hadn't moved for hours. Perhaps the cause for his standing was saddening, but Marion couldn't help but be proud of his son--even if it was for something like being able to stay in a spot and yet not seem to daydream.

Another clap of thunder ran through the air, and Marion noted the first movement from his son. The pup brought the pink rose closer to his mouth, though if he kissed it or just smelt of it Marion didn't know, and then placed it on top of the grave. For another minute Chris stood still, like a statue. Leaning down the pup lightly ran his paw over the tombstone, and then stood up. The way he turned away from the grave after a moment was, at least Marion felt, very resolute. He didn't look back.

As he got closer Marion gave his most encouraging smile. It wasn't a happy smile, nor was it a terribly sorrowful smile either. The muscles in his face simply pulled or relaxed enough for a very tender smile. Chris didn't return any sort of smile: he didn't expect him to. The pup still hurt about the entire thing, an emotion he understood well enough.

Thunder sounded off again in the distance, though now seeming just around the corner. It was a lot closer. Still, he waited for Chris to make the first move. The pup closed his eyes and Marion thought he noted a tear, though it may have been one of his own. He wiped away any undue moisture from his eyes. Another moment passed. Finally Chris moved forward, but not to get into the car. The next thing the pup did was rather surprising.

"Thanks Dad," Chris said after a moment, now hugging the larger wolf and resting his head on the wolf's chest. It felt nice. He didn't blame his dad for forgetting; it had been stupid of him to not mention it. Of course, he hated to admit he was still a bit angry, but he didn't blame the wolf either way. It was just anger: something he was used to. Perhaps it was useless to hold it; to be angry at himself, to be angry at the world, and to be angry about his circumstances sometime, but it was getting better.

They were getting better--at this. Chris increased the grip of his embrace and sighed. Maybe it was slow, but one day they would get it nailed down; they'd be a family entirely.

Marion returned the embrace and rested his own head ontop of the pup's. At least Chris was talking to him again. He was sure that the pup wouldn't exactly be chummy with him for a bit, but now he knew there was progress. Maybe not today, but soon enough they would be just back to where they were--he hoped.

They were getting better.