A matter of hygeen
This is a short involving Jeanette Zelda and Patty
A Strange Little Room
"Patty, Zelda where is the toilet paper?" Jeanette thought it strange that as modern as this home looked she could not find the toilet paper, and she was a bit embarrassed that she had to ask.
Patty stuck her head in to ask "Why do you need paper for the toilet? Is it broken?"
"Not for the toilet I need to wipe," answered Jeanette.
Patty now confused asked, "Wipe what? Did you miss the toilet?"
"Never mind." Jeanette was now at a loss neither she nor Bill had failed to wipe since diapers. That qualified it as a long standing habit she was not interested in braking now. She had to find a substitute. When she thought about it Patty's confusion made some since horses never wiped. Their whole thing kind of turned its self inside out when they pooped. Zelda was not likely to be any different. For now she would use a wash rag and clean it out.
After lunch Jeanette caught Zelda alone on the bench. "Zelda I don't know how to approach this but...."
"Than just come out and say it." Zelda did not turn her head but cocked one ear in Jeanette's direction.
"All right there is no paper in the bath room. How am I supposed to wipe?" There she had said it. Zelda should have some discretion and quietly tell Jeanette where to find some paper. Certainly some came with this wagon/house.
"Wipe what?"
Jeanette's mouth fell open. "You must have found some roles of paper when you got this home. What did you do with them?"
Zelda gave Jeanette a blank stare for a moment, "We found some flimsy scrolls in the bath room. They were far too fragile to write on. Patty soaked some of them in oil and used them to start fires until we learned how to make the stove get hot. You never have to light it. That makes it so easy in the morning."
"Zelda the paper?"
"Oh yes we gave the rest of it to a wizard that used it as a spell component. Why do you ask?"
"If you have no toilet paper how am I supposed to wipe after I use the toilet?" Jeanette could feel the heat rising in her ears.
Zelda could smell over ripe bananas in an outhouse and finally caught on to what Jeanette wanted. "Oh I understand."
"Finally" though Jeanette.
"So don't you use your left hand for that?" Zelda was still a little puzzled, but she had not been a human for a very long time things could have changed. One of the convenient things about this body was she never had to wipe, and had not thought about it in very long time.
Jeanette's mouth fell open again. She didn't know what to say. This would be hard to get used to. She excused herself determined to check every part of the home. There just had to be some toilet paper somewhere. After a through search of the house she found some Kleenex boxes. This would help but she had to find a locally available substitute.
Since neither Patty nor Zelda particularly liked to cook, meals tended to be at whatever inn was handy at the end of the day. It was her fifth evening on Zont that Jeanette needed to use a bath room while the three of them were eating dinner at an inn. When Jeanette returned to the table she pushed her plate aside saying "I have lost my appetite."
"What's the matter are you alright?" Patty asked between bites, as she noticed a faint unidentifiable but unpleasant odor.
"I am sure it is safe but..." Started Jeanette.
"But what..." Zelda rarely ate very much but she liked to chew on something and enjoyed things with a lot of taste or texture. "This is some of the best food we have had for weeks."
"I don't want to spoil your meal."
Patty stopped chewing with her mouth full, and with remarkable clarity asked. "What is the matter?"
"They have no plumbing. There I have said it. Are you happy now?" Jeanette's said with more of a hiss than whisper.
"Is that all? Most of these smaller towns will not have plumbing. So they use a bucket what does that have to do with dinner?" Zelda looked confused and Patty finished chewing and swallowed.
"After they wipe with their left hand how do they wash," Asked a clearly irritated Jeanette now smelling of burning tar.
"In the kitchen with water from a bucket," Patty answered the question rather matter-of-factually. The holes in this skunks knowledge were a constant surprise, but she came from a different world.
Zelda just shook her head and said "Your world must have changed a lot since I left it."
"Yes it has." Said Jeanette, then sliding her plate back in front of her "It hasn't killed me yet and I am hungry."