Life
A very personal tale. Why go on? Your heart and your soul will know...
Hey everybody, TCF here, with my longest story I have ever written to date! Very exciting! I mean, it is nothing compared to a lot of the authors on here, but I am not as good as them so...I guess I could get a little bit of a pass. I hope this story will be pleasing to you readers, and as always, never be scared to leave a comment or a fave or whatever you wish. Always happy to hear from you guys!
TCF
Life
I sighed out to the cold winter air, the large snowflakes of winter falling around me as I look to the store I was standing in front of. I brought my paws to my muzzle, blowing softly into them for warmth as my chest tightened as my worry got the best of me. Carl's Pet Shop: my place of employment. Even though today was my day off I was here, but not for work, oh no, I was here for a special reason.
Making my way slowly across the empty street, I pressed my paw against the cold black-painted steel door, my breath once again leaving me in a sigh, my fennec ears twitching lightly from the cold. Was this really a good idea? This is a huge commitment, especially for someone like me. Slowly pushing open the door, a rush of warmth from the heaters hit over my body, a light buzz of animal noises filling my ears. I look over the store, seeing the hamsters and other rodents we kept up front, a smile uncontrollably gracing my features as I knelt down to look closer. The hamsters not even blinking an eye at me, I watched as they ate, or slept, or crawled over the large mass of sleeping hamsters to look at the weird fennec looking back at them. I chuckled, standing back up as I looked over the store again, where was he?
"Oi!" A bark hitting my ears, making me yelp in surprise as I look over to the very wolf I was looking for. "Boss is waiting for you in the back."
"Heh...thanks Ralph" I rub the back of my neck shyly as I shuffle to the back, the grey wolf giving me a "look" as I walked to the door in question. Employees only, I have been here and past here so often, why was this time so different? A deep breath escaping from me as I pushed the door open, the dimly lit room gracing my eyes as I saw the man I was looking for, simply known to us as Boss.
"Ah, Anderson, been waiting for you." The slightly plump Doberman sat back in his chair, cigarette smoke surrounding him as the smoke blew out of his mouth as he extinguished it in the ash tray beside him, a slight cough leaving my system. Loosening his red striped tie, Boss looked back up to me, leaning back in his black leather computer chair, or as he called it his "throne". "Got the money?"
I looked down at my footpaws, nodding gently as I reached into my pocket. "Yes sir, the amount that we agreed upon." I handed the Doberman a small wad of cash, $1000 in total. Swiping it from my paws with a speed I have not seen in him in ages, the dobie grinned, showing me to a door that I have not been in before. "He is in there, here is a leash for you, I hope for the best Trev." His back turned to me, a chuckle I swear I could hear as my ears swiveled down, slowly walking to the door in front of me. I turned the handle slowly as I look into the room, the first thing I notice was the whine that hit my ears, causing them to perk up as I reached for the light switch, the small room illuminating in the yellow light as I look to him, my mouth slight agape as I look into the room.
A german shepherd was lying on his paws in the middle of the room, my new pet that I just bought; his feral head lifting to look to me, his ears permanently drooped to the back of his head it seemed, another whine escaping his muzzle. He slowly sat up, his paws visually shaking as he looked to me. If dogs could cry, I swear he would be, his eyes shining with a sadness I have never seen in an animal before.
"Poor guy..." I muttered to myself, slowly crouching down, slowly walking toward the dog as I reached my paw out. "I won't hurt you little guy, I am Trevor." My eyes slightly gleamed as I look to the dog. I am not sure why I told the dog my name, but it seemed so right. My ears drooped, another whine hit my ears, the german shepherd backing up a his tag gleamed in the light.
"Zeke," seeing his name on his tag, I naturally called for him. "I am not going to hurt you buddy, I am here to take you home. You got a new place, with a nice comfy bed; I am here for you Zeke." I slowly approached the dog, the poor boy shaking so bad that I swore he was going to collapse. I brought my paw gently to his collar, and slowly hooked the leash into the metal ring as another whine pierced my ear as I look over the dog. A bite seem to be taken out of his right ear, a few scars marking his muzzle and neck as I droop my ears, slowly reaching to his own as I pet him gently, a gentle yelp escaping him but not refusing my caress.
"See," I softly spoke to him "I am not so bad eh?" I gently pet his head more as I slowly stood, grabbing onto the leash. "Come on boy, we'll take you home." I softly tugged the leash, Zeke looking down as he obediently followed me out of the room.
The boss still had his back turned, a chuckle now definitely audible to my fennec ears, a soft swivel going in his general direction. "Best of luck to ya kid." A grumbled a negative response; how little he knew what I was doing. Walking back up to the front of the store, I waved to Ralph quickly before barging through the door, not waiting for his response. The harsh winds of winter greeting my delicate features as I looked around the street, making sure there were no cars, even in this frigid blizzard. "Come on boy." I tugged gently on Zeke's collar, a soft whine constantly escaping him as he strode beside me, my ears drooping as I looked away, getting to my car. Opening the back door for Zeke, he hopped in obediently as I made my way to the driver seat, closing the door quickly.
I looked to the back through my rear view mirror, a frown gracing my features as I saw the poor german shepherd in the back, shivering from what I hoped was the cold, seemed always on the verge of tears even though it isn't possible. I grabbed a dog treat from the Ziploc bag in my dash, "I pray he likes treats." I thought. "Zeke, do you like treats boy?" I reached my paw to him, a bright red bone showing through my paws as I offered to him. His head lifted, the sadness still gracing his eyes as he gave the bone a curious lick, slowly taking it into his jaws and chewing slowly, a soft thump of one tail wag hitting the leather seats of my car. I couldn't help but smile a little: success!
"Good boy," I gave his ears a scratch as I turned around to drive. Though I could definitely see his sadness still, I still felt a sense of pride for getting at least a wag out of him. Slowly I began to drive through the storm, keeping a vigilant eye out for not only for other drivers, but now my new pet, companion, friend. He seemed to enjoy the back seat, as he lied himself down on my seat; still, a soft cry could be heard in my ears. The poor guy, he has been through so much.
Before I really knew it I was already in the driveway of my home, the soft yellow colour bleeding through the white blizzard as I sighed, looking to the back seat once more. "Poor guy has had a rough day," I muttered to myself, "better carry him in." I left the treats in the car as I lifted Zeke into my paws, cradling him as I walked over to my front door, the dog still fast asleep as I rummaged through my pocket, getting my key and unlocking my door, pushing it open with the same paw. The warm light of my hallway illuminated the otherwise dark house as I closed the door behind me silently with my footpaw, kicking off my shoes as I walked into the small town house I lived in. Slowly I walked up the stairs to my bedroom, the route walked countless times in my life. The room may have been dark, but I knew exactly where I was going, slowly placing Zeke down on the queen sized bed, giving his head a soft pet.
A heavy sigh escaped my muzzle, my eyes looking to the clock in the room: 6:17 pm. It wasn't late, not at all, and yet I felt more exhausted then when I work a double shift at Carl's. Maybe I should have a nap? I looked over to the softly breathing form of Zeke, nodding to myself as I thought it over. Going to bed now couldn't really hurt. Slowly I stripped myself out of my heavy clothes, leaving myself in my boxers as I crawled under my large duvet, sleep embracing me quickly as I closed my eyes, hoping for a better day.
-*-*-*-*-
"Jake, look out!"
"Oh shi-!"
-*-*-*-*-
I woke up in a startled gasp, panting as my fur was matted in sweat. Not another one. I rubbed my brow dry of the sweat but as my heart beat calmed and the panting left my ears a continued to hear a sound. A whine, no doubt a dog's whine. "Zeke?" I looked over to my side, seeing a pair of sad eyes gracing me as I drooped my ears, my paws immediately going to caress the poor mutt. "What's wrong boy? Hmm? It's okay, I am here."
His whine softened, his muzzle leaning into my petting as I felt a soft clawing at my side, Zeke scratching at the seats. Oh god, how could I be so stupid!? "Oh god, I am sorry boy, you must be freezing, here," I shifted him up on the bed, slowly pulling the blankets down for Zeke as I patted down to the now bare spot of the bed, Zeke quickly shifting down there as I pulled the blanket back over, his head sticking out in the most undeniably adorable fashion. My paws slowly rubbed over his body, the cold I felt slowly melting away. "There we go buddy, eh? Much better, right?" I gently smiled as I slowly rested my muzzle beside his own, a soft moisture present on my muzzle. How did that happen? I didn't think I was crying. But as I felt it, I knew now exactly what it was: a dog's tongue. Zeke gave my cheek a gentle lick, a soft murr I swore could be heard as I heard the dog's breathing return to a slumbering rate. "This is going better than I thought," I muttered to myself, my lips giving a soft kiss to his forehead, "sleep well little guy." My paws gently held onto Zeke as my eyes slowly closed again, sleep greeting me back into its arms.
-*-*-*-
"Do you have any idea how stupid this is?! How it is all your fault?!"
"I...I-I I tried my best sir, I did all I could...I tried-"
"Trying isn't good enough boy! She trusted you!"
-*-*-*-
I woke up screaming this time, the panting faster and my pillow soaked with sweat. Rubbing my brow, I held my head in my paw, a soft cry resonating from my throat as I coughed and sniffled, tears rolling down my cheek and hitting into my paw. Man up Jake, no time for this. I wiped my cheeks before looking around, noticing something amiss: Zeke.
"Zeke? Zeke, where are ya boy?" I bellowed out, checking over to my clock to see the time: 6:34 am. Well, at least I managed to sleep through the night. Slowly turning my body I reached for the switch in my lamp, the room glowing with the soft light provided.
I walked downstairs, not finding Zeke in any of the rooms upstairs, when a crunching sound graced my ears, a soft swivel and twitch resulting. I hurried to the sound of the noise, hopefully it was Zeke. The last thing I would want is for my new dog to run off.
As I made it to the kitchen, to my relief there was Zeke, gnawing on a toy bone that I bought for him but had no time to give to him last night. "Having fun Zeke hmm?" I looked down to him, smiling gently, but my smile turning quickly to a frown as Zeke looked back up at me. God, the sadness behind those eyes, you could never replicate it.
I slowly reached down, petting his ears with gentle care as I rubbed softly, sighing. "Zeke, I know...I know what Boss used you for, why he always had so much money in the drawers." Zeke's ears perked, a whine resonating from him as if he could truly understand, and he had memories of all those horrible times. Drooping my own ears, I continued to pet the poor canine. "I know that that kind of life must have been terrible for you, the scars there to prove," I petted my fingers over the scarred cut over his right eye as if in emphasis. "But I am not ever going to do that to you boy." His muzzle tilted, looking directly in my eyes now I heard another soft thump.
"I won't boy, Boss sold you to me for so 'cheap' because he said you were out of your prime, and I can see he didn't want to deal with you. I...I need a friend Zeke, and I wanted to save your life, keep you away from all that. Boy, I love you, and I will care for you no matter what. I know you have been hurt, and I know you have every reason to be scared, but please Zeke, give me a chance."
There were tears welling up in my eyes, ones that I was not even aware were there as I went on in my speech, my paws shaking. It has been hard for both of us, and I prayed that somehow Zeke would be able to understand how much I needed him, even after one night's of acquaintance. I heard a thump of not a tail, but a bone dropping to the floor before I felt a soft lick of a tongue on the underside of my chin, a constant lick. I sputtered a happy sigh of relief, hugging my new friend with the greatest of care. "Thank you..."I muttered, tears streaming down my cheeks and into Zeke's fur as I held him. This is all I ever wanted.
-*-*-*-
"You're just a failure Jake, all that you ever will be. Who the hell wants to be a pet shop owner when they grow up? Idiot, go to your room!"
-*-*-*-
A gasp escaped me as I awoke, my eyes darting around the room as I realized I was on my couch. I guess I must have passed out from another nap...maybe too much sleep last night. I rubbed my eyes, looking over to the clock: 2:13 pm. Hmm, maybe Zeke is hungry. Looking beside me, I couldn't help but smile. Zeke's head was in my lap, him sprawled out on his back on the couch, snoozing in the cutest of ways. Reaching my paw out, I gave his chest a scratch, watching his leg kick out as I reach a certain itchy spot on him, a soft chuckle leaving my muzzle. "Come on Zeke, let's get you some food."
Instantly at the mention of food, Zeke flipped over to the upright position, getting down from the couch and looking to me, his tail wagging. "Haha, hungry are we? No worries, I got some food for you in the kitchen, bought it yesterday for ya." Giving his ears a quick tussle, I walked over to my kitchen again, a soft clattering of nails against hardwood ringing in my ears as Zeke followed close by me. Opening one of my cupboards, I found the container I was keeping some of the dog food in, slowly pouring it into one of my bigger cereal blows. "Note to self: need a dog bowl." I muttered to myself, slowly placing the bowl down beside Zeke "Here ya go buddy, dig in." As soon as I placed the bowl down, he was off to the races, chomping and munching all of his food as I chuckled, slowly getting myself some of my own cereal to eat.
You know, this was perfect. The soft glow of the light reflecting off of us as we just ate together, Zeke finishing long before I did, a soft puppy dog eyed glance greeting me as I ate. This is all I ever really wanted, and it has been so long since I felt this calm, this at peace with my surroundings, not since... My ears drooped, a sadness breaking my features as I continued to eat, my thoughts wandering into territories that should just remained blocked off in anyone's mind. Rubbing my eyes and shaking my head, I drank the mil from my bowl, letting Zeke lick my spoon that still had a bit of the aftermath of my meal on it, as I tossed the dishes into the sink, a louder clutter than I wanted to raising my ears to attention.
"Come on boy, let's go watch some TV, eh?" I scratched his ears gently as I walked back to my couch, flipping a switch as the TV came to life, though I wasn't really paying attention to it. I always liked a bit of background noise while I was thinking about something. I grabbed my laptop as I felt Zeke get up on the couch beside me, laying his head against the arm rest. I swore he was watching the TV, his eyes staying glued to it as he lied there. I scratched his side softly as I waited for the computer to start, the scars I saw sending chills through my being as I finally heard the chime of my laptop fully starting up.
I quickly went into my e-mail, my fingers blazing around the keyboard as I entered my username and password as I waited for the service to pop up, a soft smile on my face as I looked over to Zeke, still staring at the TV. Another soft tone made me aware that my e-mail was ready to check as I worked my mouse over to my inbox. "Spam, spam, spam, Facebook, crap, spam...ugh" muttering to myself as I skimmed through, deleting all the unnecessary e-mails as I finally found of use, reading over it. My eyes drifted over the e-mail to one folder I always had on here. Saved inbox messages, only one ever gracing the folder. My ears drooped at the thought of it, growling to myself. "Damn it!" shutting the laptop with a force greater than I really wished for I placed it back down on the table, my head cupped in my paws as I shivered, a whine reaching my ears as I looked over to Zeke, to see him staring at me, a shiver passing through me as my eyes looked over to him. "Oh crap, I am sorry boy, I didn't mean to scare you...I am okay, I didn't mean to get mad, I am sorry." I raised my paws to him, petting over him as I could still see his sadness, the drooped ears against his head explaining his feelings to me. "I am sorry boy, tell you what, why don't I give you a bath hmm? It might be good for the both of us, and I think you need one." I smiled to him, a fake smile to try to fool him. He didn't deserve seeing me like this...no one deserves to see me like this. His tail wagged as he got up; thank god it worked. "Come on Zeke, let's go." I patted his back as I walked up the stairs, Zeke zooming past me and making his way to the bathroom, a soft chuckle escaping me. The energy of dogs, I would never understand how they could always be so ready to do anything.I walked into the bathroom, seeing Zeke already sitting beside the tub, waiting for me, a soft chuckle leaving my muzzle as I bent down to turn the water on. Petting Zeke's ears as I waited for the water to reach a good temperature, the water somehow rushed thoughts out of mind, making me forget what I have thought about before coming up here, a smile laying my muzzle as I turned the shower head on. "In ya go boy."
As soon as the phrase left my muzzle, Zeke hopped into the tub, sitting down obediently as I slowly reached the showerhead to him, soaking into his fur, a murr resonating from his throat as the water cascading down his fur, his tail thumping against the tub as it wagged. A soft smile reaching my muzzle as I slowly shampooed the fur of my friend, the dirt slowly disappearing and bringing forth his lovely coat.
"Like this, hmm Zeke?" I chuckled as the tail wagged more against the tub as I washed the suds out of Zeke's fur, whistling a little tune as I did. Zeke's head comically tilted at my whistling sound as I laughed, patting his head before turning the water off. Zeke started crawling out of the tub, me giving my paws up to slow him down. "Don't want you getting the whole house wet now, hmm?" I reached for my towel, slowly drying off my friend as his tail continued to wag, a soft lick gracing my cheek as I smile. "Who's a good boy eh?" I chuckled, petting his head as I finished drying. "Off you go buddy, I am going to have a shower, go have fun." As I spoke, I heard Zeke running down the stairs, no doubt getting his bone again, another chuckle escaping me as I slowly stripped down out of my pyjamas as I stepped into the shower, the still warm water pressing into my fur, a soft murr leaving me.
As I caressed the shampoo into my fur, I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wander, a soft murr constant resonating from within me as I closed my eyes. The water rinsed down my fur, softly entering into my pours as I looked up, rinsing the shampoo on my neck. Then I heard a soft giggle. I had no idea if it was in my mind or in the house, my head darting around trying to find the culprit of the noise. The giggle became louder as my eyes widened, realizing exactly who it was.
"God, get out of my head!" I punched the bathroom wall, with more force than I really should have, whining a pain rushed through my paw, bringing me out of the daze. Quickly I finished up, too depressed and angry to really care anymore about the shower, turning the water off and lazily drying off, my fur still damp as I walked out.
Looking down the hallway, I saw Zeke nowhere to be seen: he must have been in the bedroom. With a slow pace, I made my way to the living room, looking around at the shelves and furniture, my eyes closing in on the target that I was looking for, my paw reaching down and taking the picture in my paw, tears quickly forming in my eyes.
The picture was of me, looking okay in my finest tux, the lights low as I was kissing someone between their ears, a lovely leopardess woman in a wonderful red dress. Liz. She always was the most beautiful one in the crowd, always caught the eyes of all that could see her. She was so fun, so sweet, so damn beautiful...My tears landed on the glass of the frame, a while emanating from my throat. "Liz...I am so sorry..." My paw brushed over the lovely figure...my former wife.
I didn't hear Zeke walk in, but his head pumped into my paw, knocking the picture up and breaking my concentration as I mindlessly pet over his muzzle, my heart fluttering in slight happiness; it really did help. "She is gone Zeke...will never come back...and it is all my fault." A choke coming from muzzle as a fresh set of tears fell from my eyes, over my paws and onto Zeke muzzle, his ears drooping as he rubbed up against me.
"I did everything I could boy...I did all I could...it wasn't enough" I sobbed, a pathetic whine constantly coming from my muzzle as I continuously cried, my body shaking in my sadness. I placed the picture down on my table, laying my head in my paws instead, crying deeply as I shivered and sobbed. I had no idea how long I was crying before, but moistness on my nose broke it for a second, a sniff and wipe of my eyes as I looked, seeing Zeke with his ears drooped, licking over my nose...he really did care for me. A soft smile curled my lips as I pet him, sniffing more as I pet his ears with care. "Thanks Zeke...I am sorry for being so...so damn broken." My ears drooped, rubbing my arm shyly as Zeke pounced me, a soft giggle escaping me as he relentlessly licked over my muzzle.
"Oh...okay boy, I get it!" I chuckled, pushing him off, his tail wagging behind him as I looked at him. "Come on boy, getting late, I will let ya out, then we should head to bed." Slowly I walked with Zeke to my backdoor, opening the glass door as I watched him walk down my backyard steps, going off to do his business. My ears drooped, my thoughts unfortunately returning to that horrible night so many years ago. I gasped as a claw tap on the glass broke me from thought, Zeke looking up and patiently waiting for door to open. Sliding the door open, I pet his back as he walked by me, his back wet with snow as I shrugged. "Don't worry about it boy, let's just go."
Crawling under my duvet yet again, patting the spot beside me and feeling Zeke hop in, I pulled it back over both of us, giving Zeke a gentle kiss on the forehead as I petted over him "Night boy, sweet dreams." Slowly rolling over, I closed my eyes, slowly the darkness of sleep greeting me.
-*-*-*-*-
When my eyes opened, all I saw was white. Not the familiar bedroom I have come to know and love for the most of my adult life, my eyes squinting from the brightness. Where was I? I looked around, slowly lifting myself and finding out that I was in a perfectly white bed, and around me there was nothing but a light smoke across the floor, a very light blue hue to everything.
Rubbing my head, I slowly lifted out of the bed, laying my paws experimentally onto the floor, the instant my paws hit the floor, the cool some caressed into my fur sending shivers through me. I stood, slowly inspecting my surrounding, the smoke stretching for miles across all sides it seemed. "Where am I?" I muttered to myself, rubbing my long ear as I continued to look around. Slowly, I started walking, to nowhere in particular, just felt...right.
This place...I had no idea where it was, or what it is, but somehow I felt more at peace then I ever have anywhere else. I took a deep breath, looking around at the empty void, playfully kicking my paws in the clouds, chuckling as the cool feeling ran up my legs. Why was I here? Who brought me here? All of that seemed to leave my conscious as I continued walking around, the care of the world leaving me as I did. I kept walking, not thinking why or where, the bed a mere speck in my vision now as I have no idea how long I was walking, but now, there was a new speck in my vision. I squinted, not being able to make it out from so far. Were there other things here that I had no idea about? I found myself pacing closer to the new speck on the horizon, my curiousity getting the better of me.
The speck slowly became more defined, my vision still trying to make it out from so far away. Wait...was that? It couldn't be..."That's impossible," I stuttered to myself, seeing the figure becoming clearer, more humanoid in shape...the curves, the spots, the hair...it was undeniable. "Liz!" I yelled, breaking into the fastest sprint my legs could muster, panting in effort and determination. "God, please let it be you." I cried, my tears brushing against my chest fur as I sprinted faster and faster, almost stumbling a couple of times but getting closer and closer to her...my love, my soul.
The closer I got the more undeniable it was to be her. Even her giggle echoed through as I was running closer to her. I must have looked like a goof, but I didn't care. I didn't care or think of how impossible it was to see her again. My love, my beautiful love.
As I reached her, my paced slowed as I look to her, my mind finally catching up with my legs as I looked to her, panting and in shock. "How...this can't be..." I slowly walked closer, my paw stretched to her as I whimpered. I must know if this is real. As my paw reached her face, she nuzzled into it, her fur caressing my fingers with the lightest of touches as I gasped, a soft whimper escaping me. "My love..." I cupped her cheek into my paw, and did the only thing I could think of. The one thing I always wished I could have done one last time.
I slowly leaned my muzzle in, gently pressing my lips to hers, as I kissed her with all my meaning, feeling her lips caressing mine in return. I ran my hand through her beautiful hair as I kissed her deeper, softly slipping my tongue to massage hers as I held her. Soft smacking of lips could be heard as we kissed, time not mattering anymore. Even this void disappearing in my mind as I felt her so near. Oh to feel her fur again, it was heaven, this must be where I was.
Slowly I parted the kiss, pressing my nose to hers as I held her with all my strength, looking into her eyes. Her perfect piercing green hues reflecting to me as I pet her back with care, my tears still falling I looked to her. "I miss you, so damn much." I whimpered, still holding her. She softly pecked my lips, somehow still looking happy like she always did.
"I miss you too sweetheart, I have never forgotten you." Her voice, oh god. The sweetest sound my ears have ever been blessed with. I sobbed as I heard it, it's been two very hard and very long years since I heard that sweet voice. I never thought I would ever be able to hear it again. "Sweetie, you know our time here is short." She looked to me as I whimpered, nodding softly.
"I am so so sorry, so god damn sorry for what I did to you. I am so sorry for everything angel," I rubbed her cheek with my paw as I called her my favourite pet name for her. Angel...like the true one she really was. She always made me so happy, gave me such purpose, I loved her...no, I love her, I always will.
"Hun, I told you so many times, you did all you could, your arm was broken in three different places trying to protect me. Jake...my sweet Jake, you shouldn't blame yourself for this my darling." She caressed my back with her paws, god how good it felt to feel her again. "You did all you could hun...don't look at what happened, look to the future sweetie, you have so many things in your life. Everyday I wish I was there hun, and I know you wish the same, but you have all the love you need Jake...my sweet Jake."
My whimpers still stayed true as I looked to her, god she was beautiful. "Liz, I will always love you, and I pray it has showed that I love you Liz...god Liz...what happened..." Her finger pressed to my lips, slowly replaced by her velvet lips again as I we kissed once again, as deep as only lovers like us could truly do. A smile graced my muzzle once more as I looked to her. "Thank you Liz, for everything you...you did for me, my sweet angel."
She smiled, a soft frown slowly gracing her as she looked over her shoulder. "I am sorry Jake; we have to go...know that I love you, always my dear fox." She gave me another sweet kiss before I saw a blackness swallow her, my ears drooping, a soft nod coming from me as the darkness slowly wrapped over me, consuming me myself.
-*-*-*-*-*-
I awoke, a soft gasp escaping me as I looked to my ceiling, seeing that I was back home, in my bed, Zeke still snoozing beside me as I breathed slowly. My eyes stayed in place as I thought over what just happened. Was it a dream? It felt too real to be so, but what could have it been?
I thought about was Liz said...it wasn't my fault. I need to look at what I have, what it is all really about. I can't keep living in this past, I must rise, keep fighting. It is what Liz would want. Oh how I miss her so, not a moment goes by I wish she was here. But no matter what, she was right, I will see her again, but now, I must live, for her.
Slowly I reached my paw down, petting over Zeke's head, a soft murr from his slumber as I smiled. This is what it was all about; this is what I needed to do. I needed to make her happy once more, she needed me to do this, to keep this all going. As I closed my eyes once again, a smile on my features for the first time in ages it seemed. The thought still ringing in my head...
She wanted me to live life, without the sadness, without the blame, without the guilt. She wanted me to have life. And I will always love her for that. My beautiful Liz, you were never just my mate. You were my life.