FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

* * = Action and/or stage direction

{ } = Tone of voice

[] = Sound effects

• - = Time Lapse

( ) = My and the character's thoughts

All three: Alec, Taiga, and Kira doing/saying/thinking something in unison

Thank GOD for my friend Raico for pushing me to finishing this interview. If it wasn't for him, this would probably go incomplete. Also, I need to thank him for helping me with this interview as well. So... thanks thanks and thanks again! ^^

Any who, like I always say: Lights, Camera, Crazy Town!

---

*Alec walks back into his broken-down $200 dollars apartment with three bags in his arms*

Alec: *opens the door and growls* This time, I may actually jump into that ice-cold river with all my fur shaken off.

Kira: *can be heard crying in the kitchen*

Alec: .... Crap. *walks into the kitchen and puts the bags down* What's wrong with you now, Kira? You didn't have a sex dream last night?

Kira: *looks back at Alec while sniffling and tears streaming down her stained face*

Alec: Erm... out of make-up?

Kira: *lets out a weak whimper and sniffles again*

Alec: .... Taiga didn't yiff you?

Kira: *runs over to Alec and hugs him tightly while crying on his shoulder* She's cheating on me again!

Alec: .... He rapes at least three women a day and NOW you mention something about him cheating on you?! You even introduce him to different women sometimes! He's practically a pimp! Hell, he IS a pimp!

Kira: He got himself a new whore!

Alec: Ohh.... *face paw* Oh. That's where you're going with this.

Kira: It's not fair! *she soon bursts into tears again* He said I was his favorite!

Alec: He has more? Then what the fu--

Kira: I'm not getting old... am I?

Alec: Of course not. But back to Taiga, why the fu--

Kira: *starts crying again* I am getting old! I just know it!

Alec: *groans* Oh brother. *rubs Kira's back* You are not getting old. You're only twenty-seven and you have been doing this for five straight years. You have nothing to worry about.

Kira: So... he doesn't have a new bitch? *sniffles*

Alec: Of course not. He knows better than to replace you. You'll make an amazing whore one day, he said that himself.

Kira: *sniffles and wipes her cheeks* T-Thanks Alec.

Taiga: *walks through the front door along with Kunai... I mean Me* And I'm wondering, how the heck did she get the nerve to stand up to me like that?

Me: *follows behind Taiga* Are you serious? That exactly happened?

Taiga: No lie. She totally got buck with me.

Me: What did you do after that?

Taiga: What I do best, reminded her of her place. Went calm in an instant.

Me: So let me guess, ya slapped her? Or raped her?

Taiga: A little of both.

Me: Ha! *snickers* The dumb broad.

Kira: *death-glares at Taiga*

Taiga: *looks over at Kira* ....

Kira: .... Well...?

Taiga: You expect me to say something? Get over here!

Kira: Okay! *runs to Taiga's side and purrs*

Me & Alec: The fook!?

Taiga: What? I own her.

Alec: .... Time lapse.... Please!?

Me: *pulls out a stopwatch* You got it. *clicks it*

-----o0o-----

-2 hours later-

-----0o0-----

Me: And don't worry about Taiga. We have him on contract. Everything will go fine.

Alec: And... if it doesn't?

Me: Well... uh... you still have Vegas?

Alec: We never yiffed in Vegas!

Me: Oh yeah.... Well.... Right.

Alec: *growls and walks back to the desk with Kira and Taiga*

Me: *turns on camera and aims it* And we're on in 3... 2... 1... Hit it!

*all the camera lights turn on*

Alec: This is Alec!

Taiga: This is Taiga!

Kira: And this is the infamous Kira!

Alec & Taiga: *looks at Kira* ...... No!

Kira: *sniffle*

Alec: And this is another nightmare of my bane existence known as... Looking To The Stars!

Taiga: *snickers* And you're in for a real treat tonight folks. Tonight, we are interviewing Samus Aran, the sexy bounty hunter.

Kira: And how do we get HER here?

Alec: Remember that poster?

Kira: Yeah? Why?

*Samus soon busts through the ceiling... like everyone else it seems... while wearing her armor suit*

Alec: Everyone, please help me welcome... Samus Aran!

Samus: Say what? Everyone? *looks at the cameras* There's no one here but you idiots and the camera crew.

Alec: J... Just roll with it okay?

Samus: Where's the bounty that you emailed me about anyway?

Taiga: Oh... yeah... that was a lie. Sorry sexy.

Samus: ... I'm sorry?

Alec & Kira: Ahh crap.

Samus: *turns her charge beam at Taiga's head, a small light inside the deadly tube* Sexy? Excuse me!? First you lied to me RIGHT in my face, and then you actually have the f-ing nerve to call me something like that!? Maybe... I should take YOU as the bounty AND the money!

Taiga: *is somehow totally unfazed* Or... We could pay you twice as much and you could get that gun out of my face.

Samus: Hmm... *smiles and puts the gun back down, thinking, 'Payday!' * Alright, I guess I could let it slide just this once. But if you ever call me sexy EVER again, I will cut your tongue out and make you eat it! Understand me!?

Alec: ....

Taiga: ....

Kira: ....

Samus: I'm glad we came to an agreement. *pops the helmet off and her golden blond hair falls in a waterfall-like fashion down the back of her suit*

Alec & Taiga: *stares and drools* Take it off! Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!

Samus: *sighs* What a bunch of animals. What the hell sort of interview is this? I mean come on, you wanted to ask me questions, but then all I get is sexual harassment!

Kira: I know. It's weird... that's usually me.

Samus: .... Right....

Kira: Well that and they're not probably trained yet.

Alec & Taiga: Hearing that coming from you!?

Kira: *hisses*

Samus: *blinks then face palms* Twice the pay. Twice the pay. Twice the pay!

Alec: *shuffles the papers* Okay then, first question, do you like to......... *glares at Taiga* There's no way I'm asking that.

Taiga: Doooo eet.

Alec: She's a bloodthirsty bounty hunter you ass! Save this joke for Peach!

Taiga: Fine....

Alec: *throws the paper away* Okay.... Question: tell us what you do for a living?

Samus: *sighs and blinks* It's quite obvious. I hunt down bounties given to me and battle space pirates to keep the galaxy free of scum; be it alive or dead in the end.

Taiga: I think I'm in love~.

Alec: *hits Taiga with a frying pan and watches him drop to the floor*

Kira: *looks at the fallen dragon* .... *looks up at Alec*

Alec: Yes. It had to be done.

Kira: *face paw*

Samus: *roll eyes* Glad he is out of it for a bit. Wish I could have done it myself though...

Taiga: *slowly wakes up and growls as he rubs his head and gets back into his seat*

Alec: *shuffles the papers* Anyway.... *picks up one* Why do you even enjoy this kind of work? Isn't this more of a... man's job?

Taiga & Kira: .... Holy shit dude.

Alec: Hmm? What?

Samus: *the light-hearted smile instantly disappears from her face and it feels like a foreboding dark cloud worked its way into the room* What... was... that?

Alec: .... *gulps loudly* Uh....

Taiga & Kira: *slowly scoots away from Alec*

Samus: *gets up and walks over to them, then she grabs the table between them and throws it out of the way, getting inches from Alec's face* SO YOU THINK THAT I CAN'T DO THIS BECAUSE I AM A GIRL? IS THAT IT!? THAT I'M TOO... FEMININE TO BE A BORN KILLER!?! DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY TROPHY COLLECTION AND HAVE YOUR BUTT ADDED TO IT!?!?! WELL?!?!

Alec: O_O"

Kira: Uh... how about we triple that paycheck and you forget that you ever heard that?

Samus: *smiles and sits back down after fixing the table* So what was the next question again sweet heart?

Alec: *twitches in fear*

Taiga: *takes the papers and shuffles through them* Uh... so... like what was said before, why get into this job? What encouraged you to do this type of gig?

Samus: *she leans forward and rests her arms on the table, the legs falling apart and breaking at her touch, having it been barely together after being thrown* Uh... I'll pay for that. And as for the job, well my parents were both killed and I was raised by an alien race called the Chozo. They trained me to be a powerful warrior against the evil space pirates. After getting used to that, I just... fell in love for kicking ass. *eyes Alec dangerously for a second*

Alec: *cowers behind Kira*

Kira: And... what about the suit? What is it made from and where did you get it?

Samus: *smirks* It is a form fitting inner suit that shows every inch of my body.

Taiga: *wolf whistle*

Samus: *death-glare*

Taiga: ^^"

Samus: Okay.... Then... I have this monster of a tank suit over it to keep me safe. I got it as a parting gift from the Chozo.

Kira: Really now? *purrs* I like it. You know how to make it work girl~

Samus: *chuckles* It was made for me after all so it better look good on me!

Alec: *sits down in his chair* Anyway, why were you based on actress Kim Basinger? Did the producer have a crush on her or something?

Samus: Who?

Alec: Kim Basinger. You know, the American film actress and former fashion model.

Samus: ....

Alec: She stared in movies like 8 Mile.

Samus: ....

Alec: L.A. Confidential.

Samus: ....

Alec: 9 ½ Weeks?

Samus: ....

Alec: .... *sighs* My Stepmother Is An Alien?

All but Alec: OHH! That Kim Basinger!

Alec: *face paw*

Samus: Yeah. I don't know why.

Taiga: *looks at Alec* Why do you know all that anyway?

Alec: Does that matter right now? I'm talking to a fake after all.

Samus: *glares at Alec* What was that?

Alec: ... Quad your pay? *gulps*

Samus: *stops and begins to count on her fingers* .... *her eyes turn into dollar signs* No I'm sorry. I barely know who she is or why my producer would have a crush on her.

Kira: *leans over to Alec* Uh... Alec... we don't have--

Alec: *clamps Kira's muzzle shut* Quiet you. What she doesn't know won't hurt her or us.

Kira: *glares*

Taiga: *leans over to Kira* So hurry up with that last question.

Kira: *huffs and pushes Alec off* This is the last question, will you continue to hunt down Ridley and his Metroids?

Samus: *nods while putting the helmet back on* Of course. They must be hunted to extinction.

Taiga: *is holding Samus' hand* But a fine and sexy lady like yourself shouldn't be messing around with such tasteless creatures.

Kira: The hell?

Alec: Man he works fast. And didn't she just say NOT to say that!?

Samus: *sighs and takes the helmet back off* Because you were a good boy and stayed down most of the interview, I won't skin you alive. *leans down and kisses his lips lightly while wrapping a hand around his head*

Alec & Kira: *shocked face* WHAT!?!

Samus: *smirks secretly then whips out a set of cuffs and locks his left wrist to his right ankle and tosses the key to Kira*

Kira: *catches the key*

Samus: Let him out when it's not funny to watch him squirm anymore. You know my account.

Kira: *nods and purrs*

Alec: Wait... account?

Kira: Okay... *shuffles the papers* Well that should be everything. Thank you for your time and for being on Looking to the Stars.

Samus: *laughs* Don't worry, I'll be keeping tabs on you three. And remember Kira, men are foolish pigs that must learn their place at the hands of women.

Me, Alec, & Taiga: Say what now?!

Samus: *aims charge beam*

Trio: Uh....

Samus: Yeah, that's what I thought.

Alec: *flashes claws* Well I'm not backing down!

Me: Dude, seriously? Ya don't wanna do that.

Alec: I can handle her!

Me & Kira: *grabs Taiga and drags him off-stage*

Alec: *snarls* Bring it on!

Samus: *grins sadistically and charges beam cannon* You have three seconds to kiss my boot before I see what happens to a plasma bolt to the head at point-blank range.

Alec: You don't have the guts. Only a man would do that!

Samus: *points down and blows off part of the floor right between Alec's legs then she looks back up at Alec*

Alec: ....... *pulls out a checkbook* So... I make this out to Samus Aran right?

Taiga: *is staring from off-stage* That was completely anticlimactic!

Alec: I'm not getting blasted. I don't have gold insurance at the hospital yet.

Taiga: *facepaw*

Alec: *gives the check to Samus* Here, now please get the living fook out of here.

Samus: Gladly. *walks to the door*

Alec: *grumbles* Damn female.

Samus: *stops at the door* .... *glares at Alec* What was that?

Alec: *perks ears* Gawd damn it.

Samus: Die you bish! *aims canon at Alec*

Alec: *pulls out a mirror* I dare you!

Taiga: *looks at the mirror* You idiot! That's my explosive mirror!

Alec: Just what the living hell are you doing with an exploding mirror!?

Samus: *fires the canon at the mirror and the mirror starts glowing as it absorbs the blast*

Taiga: .... Oh--

Alec: --Crap...

---

Me: And... again... we got sued. Who knew bounties hunters could have lawyers too? Anyway, Samus won the case and we lost even MORE money for the company that ACTUALLY had the guts (or lack of brains) to support our interviews. *coughs* Idiots. *coughs*

Alec: *wheels into a room in a full-body cast* mmfmfhffmmm

Me: And... for once... someone actually got hurt... again. *pats Alec very softly* Poor little bastard.

Alec: *growls*

Me: *kicks him out of the door* Anyway, time for the pointless copyright. Alec the wolf, Taiga the dragon, and Kira the lioness all belong to me, Thrillseeker, who is also known as Kunai994. Samus Aran belongs to Makoto Kan? and Nintendo®. All of the jokes, gags, sick puns, and dumb ideas were all thought up right off the bat (not really). If any of these look stolen, overused, negative to the company, or racist/sexist/etc in any way possible, it is completely by accident and thus should be reported to us so that it may be changed and/or deleted. We (I mean I) hope you enjoyed this interview and hope you'll tune in again for another episode of... Looking To The Stars!