Eternal Spring
Author's Notes: I kinda like this the way it is, but I am also thinking about doing a second part. Please comment and tell me what you think about it. There is lots of story, and very little sex though, so consider yourself warned.
Story � Ara Elkins 2008
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MAY 16, 1996
I am lost. I don't know how I got here. If someone finds this note, I left some money on the counter for the milk and cheese. I am going what I think is West (straight away from the cabin.) My name is Meagan Fowler.
MAY 23, 1996
I have been here a week. I don't know why I'm here, but I don't think I'm the first person who was stuck here. I'm writing this down so that whoever is next won't have to figure everything out on their own.
My name is Meagan Fowler. I am 18 years old. I was walking in the woods behind my house on May 16th when something happened to the air. Its hard to describe, it got hard to breathe and then I felt like I was falling, but I was still walking forward. It looked like the scenery around me was being pulled or stretched, like I was looking at a picture, and somebody was pinching it from the other side and pulling it away from me. There was this pop, or tearing sound, it's hard to remember, and then I was suddenly here. I remember that I kept walking toward the place where everything was getting pulled to, even though I kept trying to turn around and run.
I was just suddenly standing on the hill next to this cabin. I looked all around before I went in, but all I could see was woods. The trees are huge and I couldn't really see anything in the woods from the hill, and they spooked me a little, so I went inside the cabin.
Everything was clean in here, but no lights, no power or anything. The sun was just starting to set when I went in, so I think a couple of hours passed in between me going out in my woods in my back yard and me ending up here. I looked in all three rooms. The front room where I am now is the kitchen. There is a big wooden table, and four chairs, and a couple of windows that open East (the way the sun rises.) There is a counter, and a metal stove, and the pots and pans and knives and stuff are all hanging under there. There is a big ceramic bowl for water, and a few towels and rags and stuff. On the other side of the room there was this desk with a drawer in it, and I found the diary in there. The pages all had dates on them, except for the year, but everything before May 16th was torn out.
The other rooms were just a bedroom with a big bed in it and an oil lamp, and this ceramic bedpan thing under the bed, and a little bathroom with a mirror, and a big tub, and another big ceramic bowl like in the kitchen.
I grabbed the food off of the table, and wrote the first note up there, and then I went off into the woods. It wasn't a good idea. It was dark, first off. I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face once I got into the trees. I'm usually awake at night and stuff, my night vision is pretty good, but it was completely pitch black. Second, there were noises. I was too scared to call out or anything, but I don't think they were people. I ran back to the cabin after a while, and slept a little bit.
When I woke up the next morning, there was bread and cheese and milk on the table, and fresh firewood next to the stove. It has been the same every day. Every two or three days there will be some fruit too. I had to use the bedpan thing after a while, but when I wake up its clean. Every night except for the first one, there has been hot water in the washtub too, and more of the same food for dinner.
Anyway, I've been stuck here a week. I am getting a bunch of food and stuff, and I'm going to try to get somewhere tomorrow. I'm going to wake up at sunrise, and try to get all the way out of the forest during the day.
MAY 25, 1996
Fuck!
MAY 28, 1996
I didn't get away, obviously, but I've been too depressed to do anything. When I was in the woods I kept hearing shit during the day, but I never saw anything, no tracks or anything. When it started to get dark, it sounded closer. I called out to see if it was somebody instead of, you know, something. As soon as I did, I heard growling. It was a weird sound though. It was deep, bass, like something big, but there was this high pitched sound in it too. It's hard to describe. I've heard wolves howl, and this didn't sound like a wolf or a dog or anything. Oh, there was definitely more than one. I ran all the way back and slammed the door and drug the table in front of it when I got back. I didn't think I could sleep that night, but I must have dozed off because I remember waking up the next morning.
The moon was full, and I swear I saw some shadows or something, movement, around the other side of the cabin and off in the woods across the hill from me.
Other than that I've mostly been crying. I tore some pages out and left them around for whoever brings the food. I told them to let me go, and that I just want to see my mom again and stuff. My notes have been gone when the food is here, but no answer or anything.
I just hope this all ends soon.
AUG 4, 1996
Nothing ever changes around here. I don't know how to make it change. I have tried to stay awake all night, but I always fall asleep. I never see who brings the food or cleans up or anything. I tried staying up in different rooms, but if I sleep in the kitchen, then the food will be on a little tray in the bedroom. It's just like things happen the second I look away or move into another room.
I broke some of the ceramic things, but there are just new ones, and all the scraps and stuff are gone. I don't even try to go into the woods anymore.
I don't know what I am supposed to do.
I have been keeping track of the days even though I haven't been writing every day, but I think I might be wrong. Have I really been here for 3 months? It's so hard to tell. Nothing changes. It's August. The weather should be hot. There shouldn't be so many flowers or anything. Its just exactly the same here though, every day. The weather changes a little. Sometimes its breezy, sometimes it rains. It's never very bad though. The weather is always just nice. It's not really hot or anything, but it does get a little cold at night.
I don't know what I am supposed to do.
AUG 18, 1996
I've been spending a lot of time outside. I think I really learned something. I think I never knew how to appreciate nature and all those things around you that you just kind of ignore and pass on by. I think that now I'm ready, that I've learned a lot about who I am and what I should be doing with myself. I know not to waste the time I've had. I know to enjoy the world around me, not just pass through it. I think I'm finally ready to go home.
SEPT 4, 1996
I think it's never the same stuff in here. I have been very careful. I will put just a little hole in the blanket, or just a little mark on one of the knife handles. The next day, it will be gone. I keep this journal with me all the time, to make sure nobody is reading it while I'm not looking.
OCT 21, 1996
I've been talking to myself for months now.
DEC 2, 1996
There aren't any knives here anymore.
I swear I heard scratching on the door last night.
At least it will all be over soon.
MAR 12, 1997
I think my birthday is 2 days from now. Some days I forget to turn the page on the journal so I'm not sure anymore. I guess what I regret the most is that I didn't write anything about home in here. I was so caught up in trying to get out of here, or just being depressed about everything that I didn't really realize that I can't remember a lot of stuff from before I came here. I don't remember my mom or dad's names. I don't remember the name of my hometown, or the name of my school. I know my best friend's name is Jill, and I think I had a brother but I can't even remember that for sure anymore. I know that our house had two stories, and we had a pool in the back with some trees. I can picture our back yard pretty well, and I still know what my dad looks like because I can remember bugging him about putting up a tire swing.
I know I liked to go to the park with Jill and some other people I can't remember anymore. This is too depressing. I can't stop crying.
MAR 13, 1997
It's hard for me to worry about everybody back home because I can barely remember anything. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
MAR 14, 1997
I got a little homemade cake thing at breakfast today. I saved a little piece for Jill. I still can't stop crying.
APR 20, 1997
I'm going to try to get out one more time. This time, I'm running away from this cabin when I hear the things getting close. I don't even care if they catch me or whatever, I just don't know how I can deal with this anymore. I don't even know who I'm writing this for. I had to read back in my journal to remember who Jill was when I saw her name in the March 14 journal.
MAY 16, 1997
Jill, I never tried to get away again. I want to get out of here, but I'm too scared. I don't want to die. I can't remember anything about you anymore, but I still miss you.
MAR 14, 1998
I got cake again. I must be another year older because I got a cake today.
Maybe next year I'll get some beer.
MAY 16, 1998
For my 2 year anniversary, I threw an orange through the window.
JUN 23, 1998
Early in the morning there was a huge crash like something breaking through the front door and I have been hiding in my room ever since. It shook the window shutters in the bedroom here when it happened and I almost fell out of the bed. I haven't heard anything else, and I think it has got to be a couple hours since it happened. I wish I had somebody to talk to about this. I don't know what to do.
I opened the shutters just a tiny crack and I can see wood splinters everywhere. There is a huge ditch in the ground too, it looks like a comet crashed in front of the house and kept on going right through it. I am going to open the door and see what is there. I haven't heard anything at all yet, so I figure it's as safe as it's going to get.
I have no idea what this thing is, but I think it's still alive. It's huge, seven or eight feet at least, and it doesn't look like anything I've ever seen. Its skin is bright cherry red and shiny, like wet rubber. It's got long, gold-colored hairs that start at its elbows and go down over its hands and feet. It's got a long mane of the gold hair on its head too, and it goes all the way down its back and in a little ridge down its tail. It's got a big tail, like a lizard, that's trailing behind it all the way out where the door used to be. Its got a long neck too, and its head is like a cross between a shark and a manta ray kinda, its hard to describe, but its got big eyes, and they look forwards, they aren't on the side of its head like a shark. Its got big black claws on its hands and feet, and its back legs are like an animal's. I could see it breathing, but it didn't look like it was awake. The table is totally smashed apart, and my breakfast food is everywhere. The thing is covered in dirt and splinters, but I don't see any cuts or bruises or anything on it.
I had to touch it. Its hair is light, and straight, and really soft. It's blonde I guess, but it really does shine like gold. I expected its skin to feel wet, or rough like a shark's, but it feels soft and slick, almost like silk, not wet at all. It is laying on its stomach, but its top half is twisted sort of sideways, and its head it on its side. The gold hair is everywhere, like a puddle around it. While I was touching it, one of its eyes slid open. At first I jumped back, because I didn't know what it was going to do, but that eye... I could barely see a sliver of white around it, because it was kinda rolled back toward me, and the rest of it was just pitch black, but I could see down into it. I could just see this peace and it's hard to say, but like it wanted to help me, even though it was the one wrecked on the floor. The eyelid fluttered shut again, but after that I wasn't scared of it anymore.
I got some of the milk in a broken piece of the bowl and I pried its mouth open to let it drink. Its teeth are black, and the inside of its mouth is so dark blue it almost looks black too. They aren't rotten black either, they're just that color instead of white. Its breath smelled sweet, but like strawberries sweet, not like syrup sweet. I sort of just trickled the milk down its throat. Oh, it didn't have teeth like a shark or anything. It had normal teeth.
There is no way I can move it, so I am going to move the pillows and blankets and stuff in the front room so it doesn't get cold. I don't want it to disappear when I'm not there either.
JUN 26, 1998
I have been too busy taking care of Red to write, but a lot has happened in the last few days. I don't know if he was sick or hurt or what. Like I wrote before, I didn't see any cuts or bruises, and it was more like he was running a fever, but I don't know how somebody could crash like that and not get hurt. At first it was pretty bad. There was still only enough food for me in the house, but I gave most of it to Red, so more started showing up. I figured that whatever is keeping me here has to make sure I stay healthy.
I tried to stay awake the first night. I sat in a chair, just watching him sleep. That part was comforting, but whenever I looked up I could see the woods in the moonlight outside. I kept imagining things running up that hill towards the house, and figuring whether or not I could make it over him and into the bedroom in time, and how I would be able to hear the monsters tearing him apart outside while I hid. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I woke up the next morning curled up in a ball on top of the covers. He was curled up around me, and I could hear his heart beating, and feel his chest rising and falling and I felt more safe then than I can ever remember feeling.
Red got a little better since the first day, but he hasn't gotten better since then. He sort of mumbles every once in a while. He keeps asking, "Where are you?" when his eyes are closed, and when he can see me he asks, "Where is she?" I can't get any more out of him than that, but I don't think he's talking about me. When his eyes are open anyway it's almost hard to look at them. He looks so lost. His voice is deep too, and kinda slurred, and it's just as emotional as his eyes are. I never knew anybody who could put so much feeling into a word, or a look. When I look at him, it makes me want to cry.
He hasn't really changed much since the second day, but at least he isn't getting any worse. I sort of talk to him most of the time, but I don't know if he understands what I'm saying.
JUN 29, 1998
There was a new mattress and stuff on the bed after a few days, and I moved Red's bedding and stuff next to the bed where I sleep. He is a lot lighter than he looks like he should be, but I still don't think I could lift him up or anything, otherwise I would give him the real bed. Not that it matters anyway, I sit up most nights, and just hold his head in my lap and just pet him really softly, or run my fingers through his hair. I'll just fall asleep like that. I know he's going to be OK.
JULY 12, 1998
Red has gotten a lot better since I moved him into my room. He is awake for most of the day, and he can sort of feed himself now. He still can't really move around or anything, but we helped each other get him into the bed. He doesn't remember anything from before he got here except that his friend was with him, and now she's gone. He says he knows she's worried about him and she might be lost like he is. I told him what happened to me here, but it's so hard to remember anything now that I had to read most of it out to him from here. I told him not to go out though, that the woods are full of monsters. He just sort of nodded, but he looked at me and I sort of felt guilty.
AUG 3, 1998
Maybe if I write it down, I can figure out what to do. Red hasn't really gotten better since July. Part of me is worried about him, but the other part is scared. I know if he got better he would leave me. I can't be alone again.
I want him to stay with me.
Even if he was always sick, and I always had to take care of him, I would want him to stay. Just like he is. I think I would poison him to make him stay, but there isn't even anything here I could use. I tried to tell myself that I wouldn't really do anything like that, but I know its true. I am too scared of being alone again.
AUG 4, 1998
I found a bottle that wasn't in the house yesterday. It was sitting next to the food, in the kitchen. There isn't a label on it or anything, and it doesn't have a smell to it. I thought about drinking it. I think I will later, after Red is gone. That bottle made me think about everything that has happened to me since I've come here. How could I put somebody else through that? Red needs to get better quick, before I change my mind and do something stupid. I'm keeping the bottle with me, just in case.
AUG 5, 1998
The date is really a guess here. It's still dark outside, but I think it might be after midnight. I'm sitting in the kitchen here and the moon is so bright tonight that I don't even need a light to write. Everything is going to be OK. Everything. Last night I got into the bed, and I was petting Red's head while he slept, thinking about those terrible things I wrote last, and I kept feeling all of those sick feeling inside me, but I knew that Red had to get better. He had to be OK because I didn't want anything to hurt him even if I have to be alone. I love him. I could feel that love, like a pain in my chest while I looked down at him sleeping, and I cried a little. I fell asleep like that, looking down at him and crying, and it felt like I was bleeding because that love pain was so sharp, and that love was spilling out on him.
Later, we found each other in the dark. I was still mostly asleep when I felt his arms pull me toward him, and I felt his strong tongue brush against my lips. I reached out to him myself, with my hands and my mouth. I felt his softness, his silky hair, and I opened my mouth and pulled his mouth down over mine. His whole body was always hot, like a fever, and when I kissed him it seemed like that heat blazed up inside of him and scorched it's was into me. I wiggled out of my nightgown, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. All I could feel was his hot, soft skin and silky hair, all I could smell was his sweet breath. His kiss tasted like strawberries, and that is all I tasted. He was my whole world right then.
I felt that heat from his mouth spread out through my whole body. I felt it burn into my chest, my nipples were hard, and they brushed against his body and sent even more heat into that blaze moving down inside me, down through me, making a furnace between my legs. We moved against each other in the dark. I found the part of him that was burning hotter, long and curved and slick, and I thought it would burn me up, burn me away to nothing from the inside out when I slid it inside. But by then I was just as hot, and just as slick, and that fire inside of me just burned hotter, and brighter and higher, and moved through both of us as we moved against each other in the dark, until we were just one blaze together and there was only a white hot pleasure so bright that everything else was gone. Pain and loneliness and confusion were just ashes, and then not even that.
I woke up later, and untangled myself from him. I had to write it down, what happened. Even though I can't remember much anymore, I don't need to. I can't have ever felt this way before. I feel clean and new and whole. Dawn is breaking now, and I can hear him waking up.
AUG 6, 1998
I am leaving this cabin forever. Red is recovered, and we are going North. He says he knows that is where his friend is, and we are going to save her. This time, no howls or rustlings or anything else will make me run away. There isn't room inside me for fear anymore. One way or another, it is time for this eternal spring to end.