My Little Delirium

by Bookworm S.

Applejack awoke to the warm autumn sun streaming through the window of the small bedroom she shared with her sister Applebloom. She blinked the sleep away from her eyes, stretched her hooves and rolled over onto the hardwood floor. Yawning, she stretched out first her forelegs, then her hind, then yawned quietly, careful not to wake her sister. It was rare enough that she would get any sleep at all, Applejack knew, and tonight was one of the rare nights that Applebloom slept the whole night. Carefully, she opened the door to the hallway, closed it behind her, and headed towards the kitchen.

Applejack's brother and his wife, Carrot Top, were already in the kitchen. Carrot Top was working at the stove, the smell of fried potatoes wafting through the small kitchen.

"Good morning, Applejack." Carrot Top's voice was level and faraway, not an atypical voice for one who had already received the Cure.

Applejack sat at the table. "Good mornin' Carrot." Her throat was dry, and the glass of apple juice that Carrot had set out for her did little to clear away the sensation.

"Today's the big day, ain't it?" Big Mac's voice was a deep rumble, though his inflection differed little from that of his wife.

"Yessir, Big Mac." Applejack had tried to banish all thoughts of the day to come from her head, but Big Mac's reminder caused her to break out into a cold sweat once again.

"Don't worry, the reviews board is just trying to decide where you'll fit in the best, what your special talent is. It's not a test you can fail, you'll do fine." Applejack had heard Carrot repeat this and similar statements, but the fact was she knew she could fail, in a sense.

The role the Board chose for you was yours for life, be it mailmare, teacher or, as Applejack was hoping for, apple farmer. But that wasn't all they decided. The reviews board also decided which pony you would be partnered with, once you received the cure.

Carrot finished frying the potato pancakes, and set them on the table in front of Applejack, refilling her glass for her as well.

"Thank you Carrot." Applejack was relieved to think about that fact at least, that in a few short months she would finally be eligible to receive not only the Cure, but the cutie mark that the Board would choose for her. While the status and belonging the mark would bestow on her was certainly not unwelcome, it was the Cure that she was most eagerly anticipating.

She began eating her pancakes, as Applebloom slowly trotted down the stairs from their shared bedroom.

"Good morning, Applebloom. Would you like some pancakes?" Applebloom merely nodded in reply, heading to her usual place at the table and slowly sipping at her juice.

"Good mornin' sugarcube." Applejack tried to coax a response out of her, but Applebloom merely stared at her, her face as blank as somepony's who had already received the cure. It hurt Applejack at a deep level to see her sister like that, and she immediately felt ashamed of her feeling.

Only a few more months, then I won't have to worry about it anymore. There were days when she could feel the disease clawing away at her mind. Amor deliria nervosa could and would take anypony if you weren't careful. One day, everything is normal, the next your heart begins to speed up erratically, you break out in cold sweats, your appetite and sleeping patterns are affected. Left unchecked, the madness will consume your brain, driving you to irrational acts. Applejack could still hear the voice of her teacher, Sharpener, telling her of a filly she once had in her class. She had been caught up in the disease, and rather than tell anypony about it in an effort to get treated before she could hurt herself, she kept it secret. She had fallen in love with a young colt, and together they made a pact to escape the Cure before it could be administered, ending whatever feelings they may have thought they held for each other. They threw themselves over a cliff on the edge of the town limits. She would never forget the pictures the teacher had passed around of their mangled bodies.

"This is what love does for you. This is why we were so fortunate when those wise ponies discovered the cure, all those centuries ago." Applejack shuddered still at the thought of it. She quickly finished her potatoes, as if the very act of rushing her breakfast would hurry along the time before her eighteenth birthday, when she would finally be allowed to receive the cure. She could not wait, since she knew she, of all ponies, was at risk of succumbing to the deliria. Another shiver ran down her spine, and she focused instead on the examination ahead

Today she would be trotted in front of the Board. They would interview her, as her questions about her school, her extracurricular activities. They would take down notes, and silently judge her, and decide what her future would be, and with whom she would spend it. She began to sweat nervously again, thoughts of her family history running through her head. The Board would have records on that too, of course. She had striven to apply herself, to take as many courses as she could at school, to take on sports and volunteer hours. She hoped it would be enough to overshadow that black mark on her record. What she wanted most of all was to be allowed to work in the orchards. She enjoyed the feel of the dirt beneath her hooves, the satisfying thunk of the tree trunk as she bucked the apples down off each tree. But even if the Board decided she wasn't fit to work on the orchard, she hoped she would at least be allowed to work on one of the farms in the Ponyville limits. At least se could still breathe the fresh farm air, though she was not sure whether her enjoyment would be lessened by the Cure. Even if it was, Applejack still felt her expertise and experience working the orchard would suit her best for a life in the outskirts, rather than in the city of Ponyville itself. She didn't mind taking the apples into market to sell each week, but she didn't feel quite as at home in the city.

"You'd better hurry. You don't want to be late." Applejack shook her head at Big Mac's words.

"No, of course not!" Applejack left the remains of breakfast and hurried to the bathroom to take one last opportunity to check her makeup and rebraid her mane. Then she grabbed her saddlebags from her room, threw in the bag lunch Carrot just finished preparing, and headed out into the day that was quickly growing more overcast.

---

Applejack made it to the Treatment Facility with plenty of time, but there was already a small crowd of ponies, fillies and colts both, milling around the doors, waiting for the proceedings to begin. She scanned the crowd for somepony she knew, and immediately two of her friends caught her eye. Twilight was sitting in the dirt, talking about some such bit of trivia or other, while Pinkie Pie was jumping up and down excitedly, trying to get Applejack's attention. Applejack smiled and trotted over in their direction, while Twilight realised the reason her excitable friend had stopped paying attention - not that Pinkie ever paid that much attention to anypony in the first place - and nodded to Applejack.

"Are you excited 'cuz I'm excited I've never been so excited except for that one time..."

"Howdy Pinkie." Applejack interrupted her friend, which some ponies might consider rude, but Applejack knew from experience that is was usually best to cut off Pinkie early.

"Good morning Applejack." Twilight clearly hadn't slept well last night. Her mane was barely under control, and dark circles lined her eyes.

"You okay Twilight?" Applejack sat in the dirt while Pinkie, ignoring Applejack's interruption, continued to bounce around in circles around the two ponies, chattering about how excited she was.

"I'm fine, AJ. I just stayed up all night studying, that's all. I read the Book of Shhh again from cover to cover, and several interpretive volumes as well. Then I took a break for supper, and started in on the history of Equestria, and then..."

Applejack held out a hoof. "Don't worry Twilight. The Board would have t' be dumber than a hooffull of potatoes not to see your talent is learnin'. You'll do fine!"

"Ooh, what do you think my special talent's going to be? Could it be baking? I do love making cupcakes. Maybe not as much as I like eating them, but still... do you think I'll get a cutie mark for eating cupcakes?" Applejack was waiting for Pinkie to continue when she noticed from Pinkie's glistening eyes locked on her that the question was, in fact, not rhetorical.

"Uh, I dunno Pinkie, maybe. There're all kinds of cutie marks, and I think Mr. and Mrs. Cake can certainly attest to your talent at eating cupcakes." Applejack turned to Twilight. "Y'all seen Rarity yet? The exams are fixin' to begin any minute."

Twilight just shrugged. "You know Rarity, fashionably late wherever she goes." As if on cue, the white pony, accompanied by her sister Sweetie Belle. Rarity was dressed in a new saddle, undoubtedly one she fashioned especially for the occasion. A bit foolishly, Applejack thought, since by all accounts they were going to shed their clothes for the physical examination anyway. Applejack herself was wearing only her saddlebags and her father's hat. She would never admit that the hat had belonged to her father, because if she did she would undoubtedly have to admit why she kept it, which would at best result in the hat taken away from her, and at worst...

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a yellow pegasus pony, hiding behind her long pink bangs away from the rest of the crowd. Applejack quickly looked away from the reminder of just what can happen to ponies who succumb to the deliria.

Almost a year ago, Fluttershy had been caught out after curfew, and when the patrols brought her home, they took the excuse to inspect her room. Inside, hidden under the mattress, the patrol found... things. Nopony seemed to know what for certain, but the prevalent rumor seemed to be they had found love letters, address to an unknown recipient. Whatever the motivation, Fluttershy had been brought in to receive the Cure, despite being almost three months below the age of eighteen.

Before you turn eighteen your brain isn't ready for the treatment, and while it can go well, it can also go horribly wrong. Fluttershy seemed to have come through okay though, and despite the three butterflies now adorning her flank, marking her as one to have already received the Cure, her behavior hadn't seemed to have changed too much at all. She was still just as shy and reserved, and Applejack never really had much of a chance to get to know her any better than she had before the incident.

Applejack turned her attention back to the group of ponies in front of her, who were currently chattering about what they hoped their chosen careers would be, as well as, almost as importantly, which colt they would be paired with.

"Well, I know after I'm cured it won't really matter that much whether I like him or not, but he had better at least have a good sense of style. I certainly wouldn't want to end up with some ruffian" Applejack rolled her eyes at Rarity's priorities.

"Who cares what he looks like, all that matters is that he has a good career, an' be able to care for your young'uns. Y'all said it yourself, once you get your Cure, won't much matter to you more'n a hill o'beans otherwise."

"Still, Applejack." The way Rarity pronounced her name made her sound like a schoolteacher addressing a young filly - and Applejack momentarily had a horrifying vision of the Board choosing the career of teacher for her friend. "There are a good six months between now and my eighteenth birthday, and I must consider what my choice of mate says about me in that time."

"Um, actually, Rarity, you don't get to choose. The Board does that." Rarity shot Twilight a glare that could have knocked her over had she put any of her magic into it, then put a hoof to her forehead and sighed dramatically.

"I know Twilight, but what I say and how I act in there" she tilted her head towards the large grey building "will influence the Board's decision, so it's not as though I have no say in the matter." Rarity looked around for a place to sit that wouldn't dirty her new dress and, failing that, decided to remain standing instead. "Besides, once they see the fabulosity that is Rarity, they won't possibly even think of pairing me with somepony... unfashionable, would they?" Rarity was looking at Pinkie for that last, though Applejack doubted the question was directed at her.

Pinkie, in the meantime, was busy muttering under her breath, seemingly trying to find words that rhymed with "Board". Applejack answered for her.

"Of course not, Rarity. I'm sure you'll end up with the handsomest colt in our class, and y'all can hold me t' that!"

Twilight turned to Applejack. "So, who do you think you'll be paired with?"

"T' be honest, I couldn't give two licks who I get paired with." Twilight looked a bit hurt, and Applejack hadn't meant to be so snappish,, but it was true. All Applejack wanted was to get the Cure, to be safe from the deliria. She didn't want to end up like the pony in the photos, and more than that, she wanted to finally be rid of the whispers. She knew what ponies said about her behind her back - not the ponies she was with now, but she knew they were the exception. Just like her mother, they'd say. Watch out for that one, she's dangerous. She could hear them whispering in the streets, their conversations suddenly stopping as she turned the corner, the stares drilling into the back of her skull as she walked away.

Jus' three more months, Applejack, then y'all don't have t' worry about it no more. An' no matter what the board says in there, in three months t'ain't gonna matter no more.

The more she repeated it to herself, the more she almost believed it, but the truth is she was terrified. Terrified that she might be taken away from her farm, away from her sister... And Applejack had heard rumors, of ponies that were seen as "unfit for equine society" that would quietly disappear in the night. She was certain that's all they were, was rumors, but still... Her eyes flicked up to Canterlot, high above Ponyville and off in the distance, and she gulped. She knew full and well that there was a place they brought those for whom the Cure never quite took, and it sat there as an eternal reminder of the dangers of amor deliria nervosa, and the great sacrifices Pony society had to make to ensure that they would never have to fear it again.

The doors to the compound opened, and a pair of stallions exited. They began making announcements, to which Applejack was only half listening. As they began calling out names, ponies began to trot towards the doors, some excitedly, bust most demure, and more than a few reluctant to enter the ominous-looking building.

It wasn't long before they called Applejack's name. She gulped, sat up, dusted off her flank, and turned to the small stream of ponies entering the building.

"Good luck!" Twilight's put a hoof on her shoulder, and soon the rest of her friends joind in, wishing her good luck and hugging her tightly. Applejack hugged each of her friends in return, before setting off to join the applicants.