Looking To The Stars: Episode 02 (Wolf O' Donnell)
#3 of Looking To The Stars (Archive)
* * = Action and/or stage direction
{ } = Tone of voice
[] = Sound effects
- - = Time Lapse
( ) = My and the character's thoughts
All three: Alec, Taiga, and Kira doing/saying/thinking something in unison
All of these interviews are being remade......yay~!
So... anyway... Lights, Camera, Crazy Town!
Alec: With who now!?
Taiga: I wish I was joking. I honestly was.
Alec: No... no! You're BS-ing me!
Taiga: That's all that we could afford after burning our studio to the ground.
Alec: We shouldn't be paying for it! It was dragon's fault!
Taiga: She has a lawyer. We don't.
Alec: Son of a bitch.
Taiga: Told you we should have made that deal with--
Alec: *clamps Taiga's muzzle shut* Don't say the forbidden word!
Taiga: *Groan*
Alec: Don't you remember what happened the last time you said that word?
Taiga: Oh yeah.
Alec: Poor Youtube. It didn't stand a stand.
Taiga: Anyway, like I said. We only had enough money leftover to interview characters from Super Smash.
Alec: And... we're... interviewing...?
Taiga: The Ice Climbers.
Alec: Who?!
Taiga: Exactly.
Alec: Can't we just interview Wolf O' Donnell?
Taiga: That would be easier.
Alec: Thank you.
Taiga: So I'll just make the call and hope for the best.
Alec: Hold on, what about Kira and Alexander?
Taiga: Banging in the bathroom again.
Alec: .... Of course.
Taiga: Otherwise from that, we should have a decent interview this time.
Alec: .... *sighs* I'm going to Starbucks. *walks off*
Taiga: .... Can we just use the time lapse already!?
-----o0o-----
-2 hours later-
-----0o0-----
Alec: *walks into the newly repaired and slightly upgraded studio with a Starbucks coffee in his paw and some cards in another* Wow... this place looks better than before. *walks over to the desk and sighs* 3... 2... 1. *clears throat* I'm Alec!
Kira: *blasts through the front doors and sits down on the right side of the desk* I'm Kira!
Taiga: *flies in through the skylight and sits down on the left side of the desk* And I'm Taiga!
All three: And this is... *same dumb pause with genetic over-the-top anime pose* LOOKING TO THE STARS!!!
Alec: Which means yes. We haven't changed the name yet.
Taiga: Anyway, *picks up some papers* tonight we are going to interview Wolf O' Donnell.
Alec: How are we going to get him here anyway?
Taiga: Hmm.... Kira!
Kira: *holds up a sign that says, "Master of torture needed for newly captured prisoner" in front of the cameras*
Alec: Oh come the hell on. That's not going to work. How stupid do you think they are? I mean really, who would actually--
*Three Wolfen suddenly crash through the ceiling and Leon jumps out of one of them*
Alec: .... Shutting up.
Leon Powalski: I'm here for that--
Kira: Is Wolf O' Donnell here?
Leon: .... Yeah. Center ship.
Wolf O' Donnell: *jumps out of the ship*
Alec: Welcome to Looking to the Stars! *looks up* Also you owe us a new roof.
Wolf: Already? We just got here.
Alec: Just sit down. We'll talk about it later.
Wolf: *stares at Kira*
Kira: *stares back and purrs*
Taiga: What the heck?
Alec: This happens a lot. Wait... what happened to Panther Caroso?
Panther Caroso: *is also staring at Kira in the Arwing*
Alec: Oh what the heck!
Wolf: Hey! No stealing my line!
Alec: But Taiga just... *face paw*
Taiga: Anyway... if you all can just get to your--
*Another Wolfen, though almost utterly broken, busts through the ceiling with the laser tip smashing through the front table*
Alec: .... *shuffles some papers and pretends that the starfighter didn't just appear right in front of him* Let me guess... Pigma Dengar?
Wolf: You guessed it.
Alec: And why would he--
Pigma: *opens the cockpit* Heh heh! Sorry I'm late fellas! *jumps out of the Arwing and hits the ground hard, making a giant hole in the ground* AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Alec: *looks down in the hole* I thought we were on the ground floor? How the hell did this guy make a hole in the floor?
Wolf: He's Pigma. That's how.
Alec: But even still--
Leon: How about we don't find out and get this dumb interview over with?
Everyone: Agreed.
Alec: Anyway, here's the first question Wolf. How long have you own your rival Fox?
Wolf: Well I guess it starts back when--
Pigma: *walks inside the room eating a septuple-decker BLT burger wrapped in a four-cheese pizza with ranch dressing* Hey guys! *snort snort* I'm back!
Leon: Ugh... I can actually hear you getting fatter. *walks out of the room*
Pigma: I'm not fat! I'm just big-boned! *follows behind Leon*
Alec: .... *looks at Taiga* He does know that bacon comes from--
Taiga: He'll figure it out. Sooner or later.
Wolf: *growls*
Alec: *perks ears* Oh, right. Like you were saying Wolf?
Wolf: Like I said, it started back during the academy. When we were actually friends, we competed a lot against each other. So to this day, we'll still rivals.
Kira: Wait... seriously?
Wolf: Um... yeah?
Kira: Oops.
Taiga: What did you do?
Kira: Ehhhhh.... *anime sweat drop* I thought... you guys were close friends actually.
Alec: ... Ahh crap.
*everyone looks out the window to see The Great Fox landing outside*
Alec: Double crap. Taiga! Plan A!
Taiga: Got it. *raises a claw in the air and summons a barrier that surrounds all three of them*
Kira: *looks up at the barrier* Why are we in here?
Alec: Wait for it....
Fox McCloud: *walks into the room* Hey Kira, I got your text. What was the surpri.... *looks over at wolf and pulls out a blaster* You! I'll blast you to smithereens!
Wolf: Huh? *pulls out his own blaster* Can't let you do that Star Fox!
Kira: *sequels* He said it! He said it! He actually said it! *runs out the barrier and glomps Wolf fan-girl style*
Fox: What the heck!?
Wolf: *growls* OH COME ON! Even I don't use that line that much! And YOU! *tries to push her off* Get the hell off me!
Falco: *walks into the room as he notices them fighting* What's going on here?
Fox: I... don't know.
Wolf: *finally pushes Kira off him, before he quickly stands back up while whipping out his blaster again, aiming it at Fox and Falco* I'm going to get rid of you both right here and right now!
Falco: *pulls out his blaster as well* I'd like to see you try hairball!
Panther: *jumps out of his Arwing and stands between the trio* Must we fight here with these two lovely ladies around? *looks over at Kira then straight at Krystal*
Alec: *perks his ears* .... What's that smell...? It smells like.... *looks at Panther* Acqua Di Gio - Giorgio Armani?
Panther: *is still staring at Krystal as he pulls out one of his roses* Ahh my lovely Krystal, my crimson red rose will always pale in comparison to my precious vixen.
Krystal: Uh....
Fox: Are you literally hitting on my girl right the hell in front of me!?
Panther: Your girl? Please. She came to me after your furry ass made her step down.
Everyone but Fox: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!
Fox: Oh that is IT!
Alec: Krystal... you might wanna go now.
Krystal: Right.... I'll be in the Great Fox with Peppy and Slippy. *dashes back off-stage*
Panther: *purrs and follows her*
Fox: And I'll make sure he doesn't try anything. *stomps off the stage*
Alec: Why do you keep him around?
Wolf: He's a good pilot.
Alec: That's it? He's a stalker!
Leon: And I'm a murderer.
Alec: When did you get in here!?
Taiga: *throws his paws up* Okay, this interview no longer makes sense. I'm outta here.
Wolf: You're not going anywhere until this interview is done!
Taiga: .... You're lucky I'm getting paid for this.
Alec: Anyway, Wolf, why were you put in Super Smash Brothers Brawl anyway?
Wolf: You remember Andross?
Alec: Threat?
Wolf: Blackmail.
Kira: Gotta love that evil bastard.
Wolf: *relaxes on the couch and puts his feet up on the wooden table* Anyway, because of Andross, I was able to get on the game. And I pulled a few strings for Snake too.
Taiga: Virus?
Wolf: Reprogramming.
Alec: Amazing.
Taiga: *looks at the clock* We have another 10 minutes.
Alec: Okay, Wolf, tell us more yourself and why you helped Fox in some of his missions.
Wolf: To answer your second question, none of your business, if it helps me, then I'll do it.
Alec: Which... explains so much.
Wolf: And to answer your first, didn't you ask that already?
Alec: .... *walks off-stage for a while*
Wolf: ....
Alec: *walks back on-stage with a recording device* Nope. I didn't mention a thing.
Wolf: Crap.
Alec: You might as well, it get give us more ratings.
Wolf: Fine. I was born on Corneria and--
Kira: Is no one going to ask?!
Taiga: .... *looks away*
Alec: *looks away as well*
Kira: *sighs* Fine.... What the hell is with the eye patch!?
Wolf: *aims his blaster at Kira's head* I lost my eye in a fight okay!
Taiga: You're going to kill a hooker?
Wolf: .... *puts the blaster away and grumbles*
Alec: Okay, two more questions. Will you continue being rivals with Fox? And what shall you continue to do in life considering by the time this interview airs, you'll be long gone and the police force will have a real hell of a hard time tracking you down.
Wolf: Fox... yeah. I have respect for him, but after that damn loss of that bounty, I'm gonna make sure that I'm the one that shoots him out of the sky. And take his entire damn team down with him!
Kira: *purrs* And your life as a drug lord?
Wolf: Not really a drug load, but more of a crime lord. I'm better off being called either a thief or a space pirate. *makes a sinister grin* I'm surprised I didn't rob you.
Kira: That's because we paid you to do the interview.
Wolf: *stands up* Oh yeah. That's right.
Alec: *shuffles some papers* Anyway, thank you for doing the interview with us and.... *sniffs the air* Why do I smell smoke?
Wolf: *sniffs the air* Hey, me too.
Taiga: Is something burning in--
*AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*
Everyone: .... Pigma.
Alec: Okay, now why did--
*the room suddenly starts shaking like a mini-earthquake as Pigma runs right across the stage, screaming and panicking while his back is burned badly and still on fire*
Wolf: .... Is Leon trying to light him on fire again?
Leon: *runs into the room with a flamethrower* That is so not true! We're playing fire tag!
Wolf: *face palm*
Alec: Right.... Taiga, put down the shield.
Taiga: Forget it.
Alec: Why?
Taiga: Remember that broom closet from when your father tried to do an interview?
Alec: .... Oh no.
Leon: *blasts Pigma again* Come on Pigma! Stop running!
Pigma: AAHHHH!!! MAKE HIM STOP!!! *runs into the closet*
Leon: *kicks open the door* I got you now! *fires flames into the broom closet*
All but Leon: NOOOOOOO!
Me: You can pretty much guess what happened from there. The closet was full of bombs instead of brooms. The trio got away because of Taiga's magic. But so far, everyone else is in the hospital and Pigma is being used to feed the homeless. *picks up a plate of burned pork chops* Poor pig... they didn't have BBQ sauce to make him taste better.
Alec: *walks into the room* Let's hurry up with the copyrights.
Me: Right. Alec: Wait... where is Daichi and Luna?
Me: Don't know and don't care. *shuffles some papers* Alec the wolf, Taiga the dragon, and Kira the lioness all belong to Thrillseeker who is also known as Kunai994.
Alec: *snatches a paper* The entire StarFox team and StarWolf team belongs to Shigeru Miyamoto and Nintendo®.
Me: All of the jokes, gags, sick puns, and dumb ideas were all thought up right off the bat. If any of these look stolen, overused, negative to the company, or racist/sexist/etc in any way possible, it is completely by accident and thus should be reported to us so that it may be changed and/or deleted.
Alec: And remember, only below the neck will get a man erect!
Me: .... What?
Alec: Taiga said it.
Me: Ahh.
Alec: We hoped you enjoyed this interview and we hope that you will tune in soon for our next episode of....
Me & Alec: Looking To The Stars!
Alec: .... Please change that name.
Me: I know. I know.