Fondest Farewell
Fond Farewell
By ThirtyOne
_I close my eyes, and I can see,
The day we met, just one moment and I knew,
You're my best friend, do anything for you._
It was a quiet car journey to the station, the awkward silences filling up the majority of the drive. I would have liked to believe that in such company, that I didn't need words to express how I was feeling, but I didn't want to kid myself.
I'd spent my morning sitting in my bedroom wringing my paws. A rolled up A3 sheet sat besides me on my bed as I stared at the clock, the second hand seeing to echo out a thud across the room as it slowly orbited the face. I swung myself up onto my hindpaws, a slight uneasiness in my stomach. It was half an hour before I was meant to pick up my friend, a friend whom although I'd only known for a year had quickly become my best and closest friend. Sighing, I left my room clutching the paper close to me, knowing that I was setting off to say my last farewell to him. Climbing into my car, I started off towards the supermarket, pulling into buy an envelope large enough to conceal the sheet which I was carrying. The queue that day was horrific; I stood for 20 minutes waiting to buy a single envelope, the item being integral to my plan. My heart dropped, I was letting him down one final time, the one time that I had to make sure that everything went perfectly. Trembling, I pulled my cell-phone from my pants pocket, slowly scrolling down through my list of contacts until I finally came to 'WhitePaws'. My pawfinger hovered above the connect button, I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth and called.
"Hey dude!" came the cheery reply. "Is everything ok?"
"Everything's fine" I said as casually as I could muster. "I'm running a little late though.
I'll be there to collect you in 10 minutes"
"That's cool. We've still got plenty of time to get to the train on time."
"I'll see you in a little bit then."
"You too. See you!"
My eyes were screwed shut, I remember that clearly. A single tear rolled down my white cheek, glistening as it fell through the air before hitting the dusty ground. Rubbing my forearm across my face, I clambered back into the car, swiftly moving away from the only sign that the tear had existed at all.
_We've gone so far, and done so much,
And I feel, like we've always been together,
Right by my side, through thick and thin._
The car journey towards his shared flat had been a nightmare. I don't think I've ever seen traffic so bad in all my life. Shamefully, I broke several laws, undertaking, speeding and ignoring a few red-lights when the crossings had been deserted. I just couldn't miss the last favour that would be called of me, I wasn't going to miss this train, even if it meant losing my friend. Turning the last corner and seeing that I was in fact spot on the ten minutes that I had offered over the phone. Without a thought for locking the car, I bounded up the stairs to the apartments, typing in the numbers on the display and waiting for a response.
"I'll be right down; I've got a few cases" came the answer to the question that I didn't have chance to ask.
After about 5 minutes, the door swung open, standing behind it a tall, very handsome fox, his eartips, tailtip and all four paws white instead of the usual black, the reasoning behind his name obvious to all who met him. With a slight swish of his tail, he started dragging the first case down towards me. I shook my head to clear my mind, realising that I had been staring. Looking down, I ran past him, carrying the two remaining cases back down, plus a holdall that he had brought. Loading them into the car wasn't difficult, they all fit and weren't particularly heavy.
It was a quiet car journey to the station, the awkward silences filling up the majority of the drive. I would have liked to believe that in such company, that I didn't need words to express how I was feeling, but I didn't want to kid myself.
I stopped in a parking bay, opening the door to climb out and begin unloading the luggage. As I leaned to get out though, I felt his paw reach for mine.
"Here" I felt something being pressed into my palm. "I want you to have this."
I paused, sitting back down and inspecting the item. It was a small toy, some type of hamster. The poor thing looked very tatty, and was possibly one of the strangest things I'd ever seen.
"Thank you" I said, genuinely thankful of the thought, placing the toy in my pocket.
We exchanged smiles, before clambering out of the car and starting to unload suitcases.
Handing White the two lighter cases, I took the heaviest and the holdall. As he turned his back, I placed the envelope on the top of the holdall, quickly placing his coat on top and chasing after him.
You're the part of my life I'll always remember.
We sat for what seemed like hours at the station. Thankfully, there was a bench free by the platform that White's train would be departing from. I sat staring at the tracks, the fox staring at the roof of the station, both of us changing our views to look to the right, hearing the rumble of an approaching train. As the carriage ground to a halt, doors opening with a light hiss, we both stood up simultaneously. Solemnly, we marched the luggage onto the train, setting it down and then returning to barely a metre from the open door.
"White, I..." I started.
"shhh." He said softly, smiling to me. "Listen Marl, I'm really going to miss you. You've been a great friend to me over the past year, and I'm sure I'll never find anyone like you where I'm going."
I smiled half-heartedly, nodding.
"I..." I began yet again. My heart physically ached in my chest. My best friend, but more than that; the individual who had stolen my heart and I had fallen so madly in love with was leaving. Leaving to move in with his current boyfriend.
My lips trembled, there was so much I wanted to say. I would have screamed 'I love you' from the rooftop, poured my heart and soul out and told him exactly how I felt, how I needed him more than anyone could understand. Feeling tears starting to well in my eyes, I forced myself to smile sadly, longingly. He shouldn't be with this other person, He should be with me! It was so unfair that he was going to be taken away, dragged from me to the other end of the country where I wouldn't see him again so that he could stay with that horrible creature. I was going to tell him right there and then, he had to know!
_The time has come,
It's for the best, I know it_
"White." I announced, confidence taking over and filling my eyes with determination.
He looked up, his mellow eyes gazing into my own.
"I..."
He half frowned, having heard me start the same sentence three times, yet never progress further.
"I'm really going to miss you, fox." I said, my voice shattering at the end.
His face relaxed, the goofy grin creeping back onto his features that I'd grown to know and love.
"I know you will" he said, ruffling my headfur lightly.
"It's not gonna be the same without you." I managed to stammer out.
"It'll all be ok. You'll see"
His voice drifted through my ears. He was happy. I wasn't going to stand in his way.
In a sorrowful sort of way, I was happy that he was. It's hard to explain to someone who's not experienced it, but I care more for his feelings than my own; and I wanted him to smile his smile, it brightens my world.
"Now get out of here!" I said, grinning falsely, "Let the south have to endure you, we've suffered enough"
He chuckled, leaning forwards and wrapping his paws around me tightly.
"Thank you Marl..." he whispered, as I clung tightly to him. I almost knew that he understood how I felt, but wasn't letting on.
"Any time, White" I replied, lightly pressing against.
I wanted the hug to last forever, and in those few seconds, I lived a lifetime. Letting go, he slowly turned and padded onto the train, sitting himself down and smiling at me.
_Who could have guessed that you and I,
Somehow, someway, we'd have to say goodbye?_
I'd found myself a nice spot to stand and watch, by a large pillar. Leaning against it, I smiled at the fox fussing over things inside the carriage. My heart skipped a beat, he had stumbled across the envelope ahead of plan. Quickly walking away, I headed towards the front of the train, standing clear out of sight by about one carriage length. I froze, my cell-phone ringing in my pocket. I slowly withdrew it, shakily answering.
"H...Hello?"
"You shouldn't have walked away."
"It just..."
"I wanted to thank you for the gift. It's fantastic."
I held my breath, listening intently to the phone.
"Thank you so much." Came the response after the silence. "I love this, I'll treasure it."
"It's nothing..." I said humbly, shuffling my feet, a grin spread wide from ear to ear.
"It is." He said assuringly.
With a load groan and a hiss, the idle train started up, slowly trundling along. I realised, that I had in fact run the wrong way and the train was driving the other way from the station.
"It's a shame you walked away..." he said over the phone.
I took off, sprinting down the platform. I can't run, but I was pushing speeds that would have made cheetahs envious.
"Look out the window" I panted down the phone, running level to his carriage and waving my free paw madly at him through the glass.
"Oh wow!" he exclaimed, grinning back at me with a chuckle.
"I wouldn't just leave you. I just didn't want to be around when you got that picture."
I smiled, tears starting to trickle backwards along my face as I ran, my headfur blown behind me wildly as I matched the train's speed exactly. I could see that clutched in his paw was the image that I'd had drawn, of myself and his other two best friends standing on a platform, waving to him as he leant out the window of a train, waving back.
"I'll never forget you White. Please don't forget me." I forced myself to say, seeing the end of the station rapidly approaching.
"I wont. I promise you. Bye Marl!"
"I wont say goodbye to you. It's not goodbye, but farewell."
I heard a slight chuckle on the phone.
"I suppose you're right. I'll see you soon."
"You'd better!" I shouted, slowing down and waving frantically, the train speeding up again, and myself metres from the end of the platform.
"I'll see you soon, WhitePaws!!"
The phone clicked off. Stopping and leaning against a pole, I watched the train slowly disappear, taking my friend, my secret love away from me forever. Dropping to my knees, I fell forward, my paws pressed to the ground and my face staring at the floor, large tears slowly dripping down my snout and off my nose, a small puddle forming on the floor beneath me. My pawfingers curled, forming fists as I sobbed, before throwing my head back and howling loudly, screaming to the sky and crying intensely.
He was gone.
Somehow today, we have to say goodbye~
**_Authors note: "This actually happened to me earlier in the year, and although the names are changed, the story is true. I still love Whitepaws to this day, even though it cannot be.
I cherish the hamster toy that he slipped me before he left. It is my closest, most treasured possesion. I hope you've enjoyed reading this. If there's anything to learn, it's that love hurts, but if you truely love someone, you will make the difficult decisions."_**