FSE

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The days grew into weeks, and the weeks into months as the air chilled and the world outside froze. Some nights they would climb to the opening of their den and simply look out at the barren pale world and talk about their families. It helped to remember them. To share them with each other. True enough Jason had killed her second family, but she held her resentment of that fact in check. If had had not, other, less merciful Empire soldiers would have.

"Why did you join the Empire ranks?" she asked one night. He sighed and shifted behind her. He didn't want to talk about it really, but she had every right to know. It was the reason she lost her family. The reason she was with him then. He drew her closer to his chest and wrapped her tighter in the cloak, staring up at the bright stars and thinking of how to explain. "Sometimes I'm not so sure of that myself. I was fifteen and not the brightest kid around. I went to school but all I cared about was my daddy's farm. My mom passed away when I was pretty young so it was just me and him until the Empire came along. They came to my town, destroyed the city square and everyone in it. It was just a destroy and pillage until they found our farm. They killed my dad and all of our livestock before they realized they were standing on more minerals than their diminutive brains could comprehend. And they made me dig it up. I was thirteen at the time. They made me and the other town boys dig up everything we had planted and abused us whenever they could. Some of them weren't as straight and narrow as they'd have you believe..." Here he paused and remembered his almost assault. He'd never worried overmuch about being raped. The Empire didn't take women into their ranks, so it made sense that some might turn to the same sex, however strange it was to him.

"I mean, they never got to me, but the other boys weren't quite so lucky. Once they were done making us mine for them, they lined up the few of us that were still alive, maybe a dozen and a half. None of us were much older than twelve or thirteen. They lined us up, and gave us a choice. Join or die. And lucky me, I was last. They shot six young boys in the face, chest and stomach before anyone joined. And the coward I was, I said join. After they destroyed my home. After they made me mine my fathers farm for two years. After they shot down my friends and classmates in front of me, and I joined the monstrosity. Now though, I really wish I hadn't." he said.

She had listened quietly, as she was wont to do, and shifted so she could see his face through one eye. "Had you chosen die where would that leave me?" she asked. He shrugged and tore his eyes from the winter sky. "I honestly don't know. I don't know if they would have even seen your little village." He said. He scrubbed his hands across his face and rested his cheek on top of her head. "What about you? What did you do before you knew about the Empire?" he asked, jostling her a little. Her mind went back years and she saw herself in her favorite pale yellow dress with a daisy chain draped around her head. She remembered her mother too sweet lemonade, her fathers booming laughter. She could almost see her older brothers teasing smirk before it all faded away. She had been fourteen then. A young, carefree kit just on the verge of becoming a vixen. Still too playful to care about mating and too shy to care about males. "I was Cassie." She said softly.

He paused and tried to imagine it. Micha being Cassie all the time, and somehow he couldn't. He had grown used to her separate personalities, and even liked each of them. Though he was still on the rocks with Lila. She was too teasing and surprisingly cunning. But Cassie and Micha he liked very much. He'd come to the point where he didn't really think about a future without them. He had yet to meet Rage, and a big part of him as terrified to. The other parts of him simply didn't want to for self-preservation purposes.

"Tell me about then. What you used to do. You tell me a lot about your mother and father and brother, but never about you." He said. Suddenly it was her turn to look out at the stars and sigh. "Maybe another night." She said softly. She didn't think much about herself. Not then and certainly not now. She didn't dislike her old self, but she was glad she had grown out of it, or rather, split herself into so many pieces. It helped to organize things. "I'm not up for reminiscing right now." She admitted. He rubbed her shoulders before sitting her up to slid back down the tunnel. She followed soon after. It was a bitterly cold night and she missed their calm little fire already. They settled into the usual tangled position just before they went to sleep and listened to each other breath. Micha couldn't recall having simply listened to someone's heart pound against her ear before. He took deep soothing breaths and she hummed a soft lullaby using his heartbeat to keep time. He reached his hand up tentatively and ran one finger down her spine. She shivered but didn't protest, so he continued stroking his hand down her back.

"Where will we go once it's warm enough to leave?" she asked. She propped her muzzle up on his shoulder and stared at him. "Well. I'm not sure. We could go anywhere really." He said. She wrinkled her muzzle at him. "I thought you were the man with a plan." She groused. "I am. The plan right now is to wait out winter. I have at least two more months before I have to decide what to do after this." He said. She conceded and sighed. She didn't know what she was supposed to do once he did decide. He said he would get her to safety and then she was on her own. But a part of her hoped he wouldn't mind her following him around forever. But he would want a wife someday. And children. She couldn't just hang around for that. Because he had made it very clear that he didn't want her; Lila was still smarting from that rejection. But she had no idea where she would go; what she would do once he cut her loose. She wasn't particularly good at anything. Unless running and making daisy chains counted. She could kill in countless ways as Rage, but never Micha or Cassie. Lila was great with politics, and things of a passionate nature. Cassie was, well, Cassie. She had no real useful talents to speak of. She had never learned to cook or keep house. She had never farmed or built anything. The only "magics" she knew were the witchcraft she had been cursed with at birth. And she didn't know how that worked even.

She sighed and closed her eyes. Perhaps she'd take a leaf from Jason's book and decide what to do once the time came. She didn't have a lot of options, but maybe more would open up later. She found herself hoping so as she drifted off, the steady heavy thump of her companions' heart in her ear.