They call me Toby
They call me Toby By Jackmink
I wanted to touch on the most common aspect of Macro's and possible put some perspective on it for the masses while also having my own twist to the subject. -Jackmink
"...No Carrel, I don't think the sun is...to high in the sky." And with that the news cast laughed that monotone laugh they always had for their bad puns and quirps. "Now on to a more recent, and large subject," he laughed touching heavily on the large part. "Our resident Macro - or as the world is beginning to know him as - Toby latest exploits have shed some light on the whole affair of these large, and possible misunderstood, creatures."
"He sure has, Richard." The female vixen fanned her overly long eyelashes as she turned back to the camera. "We even have a live interview with him later on."
"That's excellent, Carrel." The wolf next to her nodded.
"Toby, the most friendly badger you'll ever meet, has once again saved the day. A group of college kids had lost their traction during the recent snowy weather and ended up in the Central River, Bend. How ever before the police or firefighters could go in after them, Toby was on the seen." She turned to her side to the video that displayed on the screen. "As we can see here the large badger didn't even hesitate as he waded into the massive river." Muddy water rose as the badger, the size of a small skyscraper, slowly made his way into the water. Falling onto all fours he began to dogging paddle over to the car. "An in a rather unorthidox way," the badger lowered it's head opening it's maw wide as it took the car into it's muzzle, "Saved the day." With the car securely in it's muzzle it turned back. Paddling with all fours before crawling up onto the bank. Opening it's muzzle it lit the car slid out; ducking down to look inside and make sure it had gotten on the car's occupance.
"Now isn't that a bite...too much," they laughed again.
"Just like last week when the fire ranged near the old school for orphan nuns, our friendly neighborhood Macro came to the day." She turned again to the screen that lit up showing a large apartment complex on fire. In seconds the badger was there. Unsure of what to do at first it pulled down the black speedo's it wore and hosed the building off.
"Haha, now that's what I call a hose." The wolf laughed swaying it's head back and forth. The perfectly trimmed hair didn't even budge on his head, so saturated with hair spray and gel.
"I'm sure those nuns were shocked to see that when they looked out the window." Carrel joined in the laughter playfully swatting the wolfs arm.
"I wonder if they can still be called virgin's after that." The wolf laughed and a rather awkward silence followed as everyone in the studio seemed to bow their head in respect for those poor drenched piss covered nuns.
"Now then," he looked up beaming from ear to ear. "Some people have asked, what has our neighborhood hero been up too in his mean time. Carrel?" The wolf spun in his chair to look at her still grinning from ear to ear; it looked as fake as her breasts were.
"Well, Richard." She noted nodding towards him in their playful banter. "Toby has been rather busy. If we look over here." She turned back to the screen. "We can see our friendly badger working out the local construction of the new city hall. Hauling several metal beams in mere seconds that would've taken the construction crew all afternoon to move. In this clip," she was grinning from ear to ear like the wolf was. Her make up was so thick around her eyes that it clotted as her cheeks wrinkled in that smile. "We can see him helping out the lumberyard a few miles out of town. There was a landslide in the area that he was kind enough to stop by and assisted with."
"Now a lot of people have wondered if he was taking jobs away from family men and woman." The wolf spun back to face the camera. "But Toby has noted on this and wants to assure the populace that he has no attention of working full time in any of these jobs. He does it as a good samaratian. As we all know, everything is paid for for our Toby." With that he laughed slapping his leg as if it were the funniest thing in the world.
"Yes, Richard." She nodded turning back to the cameras. "Ever since he arrived two months ago it has been agreed on, by the mayor, that all his expenses are taken care of."
"Room. And board." The wolf said in two sentences as if that was required.
"He has taken residence up in the old local theater. The seats have been moved out and he dug himself a good little den from what I hear."
"Yes. That really is. The burrow." He laughed again.
She touched the clip on her ear turning her head away as she listened to the update. "Yes. I'm getting ward now that Toby is ready. Let's go over to our friendly badger." They both turned in on each other as a screen popped up on the video at home between the two.
The large badge was resting back in the quarry. His paws were up on the edges as his rump was in the center. He had his arms behind his head as he looked between his legs at the ledge where the news crew was standing. Several news reporters of several station had conglomerated. They were adjusting their microphones and checking to see if the signal was working. All of which was captured by the news helicopter flying over head.
"Can you hear me, Toby?" The wolf asked towards the screen. The badger nodded.
"Yes, I can hear you." He replied. The voice would be altered with computers to be more registerable. The massive size of a macro deepened the voice so greatly that it was a booming soundwave to smaller creatures in the vicinity.
"Thank you for having this interview for us."
"Anytime, Richard. I'm glad to be able to clarify and clear up a few things about us macros." The badger adjusted himself, scratching his back along the ridge behind him. His paws were larger than the news trucks next to them and one would have to stack several vans on top of each other to equal the size of them. Coarse pawpads, the same color as the quarry around them, faced open towards the news crew. The long nails on them several feet long and were as black as his fur was.
His belly fur was fully black as well were his arms and legs. His finger's looked like he had black fingerless gloves on that broke off into white fur as well were his toes. His back was several shades of gray, black and white that intermeshed with one another. He had the classic badger stripes on his face as he looked down at the news reporters who were now training their cameras up at him for the perfect shot.
"Now then we have several question for you, if you don't mind answering." The wolf adjusted the papers in front of him before making sure they were perfectly together once more.
"Not at all. I'm an open book. Ask away," Toby offered.
"Great!" He said far to enthusaistically. "First question. Have you ever rampaged before?"
"Who hasn't?" Toby laughed. It shook the area around him making several of the news reporters back up as his belly jiggled with the sound. "Don't get me wrong Richard. I love the people of the city. But when I was no more than a kit I was shunned and hated by most societies. I don't blaim 'em either," he slurred with a bit of a southern tongue. "You see most furs assume that macro's just rampage and kill, eat and fuck things up. And they'd be right. Half the time. A lot of us just want to let by gones be bygones. We don't want to crush and destroy. It's more of an accident if we do, trying to learn the ropes and all. You know how long it took for me to get used to walking through the city without stepping on anyone or thing? To make sure that my weight didn't break the cement? I have to walk around on all fours just to make sure I don't."
"Well we are ALL appreciative of that." The vixen replied. "You say that several of you don't want to rampage and yet day after day you can see around the world that it happens."
"Well a lot of the time those are the same macro's as before." Toby replied scratching his belly. "I've gone toe to toe against that big old cougar fell'a next state over. Made sure he didn't mess with my town." He scuffed wiping the end of his nose with a growl. "A lot of macros are what we like to think of as feral. They want nothing but food, sex and shelter. The most primative instincts of any of us. I can't blaim 'em either." He shook his belly with another laugh. "You know what its like to be hungry twenty four seven? It sucks. Let alone for being horny," he laughed adjusting himself. The cameras were kind enough to look away.
"That comes to our next question then. Gluttony and Lust. Several macros seem to exhibit both of these qualities."
"Well the whole hunger thing I think is obvious." With that he patted his large belly. "I eat cows like you guys eat popcorn. Or those little chicken bites from KFC. Its easier to just give in and go around wanting to eat everything to try and sate that hunger inside. Now with the whole Lust thing. I've been over it with my bud up in Canada. He has a huge problem with it," with that Toby winked. "With a good ol' homebodied badger like me all I need is what any guy needs." He squeezed his paws several times with a laugh. "Unlike a lot of macros they dont have entertainment, like I do. I mean I got a fricking theater screen that's hooked up to cable! I got the net hooked up to it and can watch anything I want, surf the net. Boredom can be worst than hunger I tell ya' wat!" He slurred again showing his heritage with that southern droll. "When your as big as we are you can kind of do what you want. One needs real discipline that a lot of macros weren't taught. My mum was a good ol' badger, rest her soul. She raised me right."
"I see...well then. Next question. Why did you come to this city? Why do you want to live here?"
"Watching over you guys gives me something too do." Toby shrugged. "I love this city. It was by chance that I came here really but I love it now. Folks are great. Far more understanding. They put up with me and tolerate my presence. And I keep a watch out for 'em like a good neighbor. That's what we do. We watch out for our family."
"So you consider us family?"
"I consider us good neighbors. And you watch out for your neighbors where I come from. I was raised this way and not about to change. Besides I'm a badger." He shrugged against casually, resting back and sliding his legs up onto the ridge. He looked at several of the news reporters. "This is killing my back, one sec."
Toby got up and leaned over the news crew who nearly wet themselves as the sun was blocked out by the massive badger. He reached his paw down and plucked several of them up, holding them tenderly in his hand as he leaned back. Lazing out amongst the almost canyon sized hole with his legs dragged up onto the ledge. He set the news reporters down on his belly most of who scrambled about like ants after being displaced. Several clung to his fur tightly and one or two just sat back and continued their work having interviewed the large badger before. He always ended up getting far to close for comfort and there wasn't anything one could really do about it. As long as they were on the outside of the belly, they didn't care.
"Ok much better. Hehe, I love you little guys."
"On that note." The wolf cleared his throat as the vixen took over.
"It is rumored that your dating someone."
"Yes I am. Great guy. Real cute. 'N yes he's one of you small guys. And no I won't tell you who it is. We're taking things casual 'n it's working out great! I'm not about to ruin that for an interview, heh. Hey quit it. Above the waist line you naughty things," he chirred adjusting himself. One of the frantic news caster had rolled down his belly and was face first against the tight speedo he wore.
"So then is it true that you have a...thing for us smaller folk?" The wolf asked having to clear his throat several times and take a drink. It seemed to be a personal note for him.
"Eh, in a sense. Sure. I mean I am dating one of yah' so I got to have some interest. I don't get it. Just look at you little guys gets me all warm and fuzzy on the inside and I just want to gobble ya up and keep you safe and warm an' all to myself." With that he laughed at the possible joke. His chest shook and several more furs tumbled down to his groin though he didn't seem to mind. "It's a badger thing," he said again shrugging. It picked one of the furs up and brought him up to his muzzle to give him a lick. The fur squirmed before being set back on his belly.
"You do seem...affectionate." The vixen said, a line that wasn't in the script.
"I'm a big lover. What can I say?" He chuckled helping a stuggling cat out who seemed to have gotten stuck between his bulge and his leg. "Its a badger thing." He said once more.
"And what do you mean by that." The wolf asked reading word for word from teleprompter.
"Well us big guys are real big on natural instinct. Hunger. Lust. Et cetera, et cetera. In turn we do tend to display a lot more of our feral brethren mannerisms." He drolled out picking up another fur and placing it on the end of his muzzle. "I just can't get enough of you guys," he chirred.
"On a different note. You said you had friends. Will we be seeing them anytime soon?"
"Not likely. Macros tend to keep distance from one another unless their copulating." He picked up another fur and set it on his head. "I got more of you guys as friends than I do of us. Once more I'm a territorial species. I don't like it when others move in on my turf."
"And we are appreciative of that." She said once more. "After the last incident it's clear about your feelings on the matter."
The badger had rolled over and was fully in the holy now, giggiling as the smaller furs scampered around him like fleas. "Yeah, that cat wont' be coming back." Toby said not even really paying attention. He grabbed his toes and rocked back and forth his small tail wagging quickly. "Hehe, hey there watch that. I told you above the waist." He wiggled his ear as a fur looked inside.
"You really do seem to enjoy yourself." The wolf noted, raising an eyebrow at the teleprompter.
"Oh yes. Living life is great. I enjoy myself whenever I can." Toby said plucking a misplaced fur and putting it back on his belly.
"You don't think your boyfriend will get mad with you hanging out with others do you?" The wolf read as robotic as ever a slave to the prompter.
"Oh no, I'm sure he's watching right now." Toby noted looking at the camera with a sly grin. "Its fun making him jealous." The badger said as he began collecting the furs. He had a real nake for remember the amount he got, always making sure to get every single one. Grouping them together in both his paws he sat back up and placed them on the ledge. "Besides I may play with you little guys. But," he adjusted himself as he stood the large bulge in his pants noticeable larger. "This part here is for him and him alone." He added with a wink.
"An that's all the time we have. Thank you for joining us, Toby. We hope to see your exploits again and again. Tune in next time for..." The wolf droned on.
The vixen and him talked away as the ram for the sports joined them. The cameras slowly panned out and commercials began to role.
"Great show everyone," one of the directors said. "Though we seemed to have some malfunction with the teleprompter." He noted looked over at the stoat who was working with the electronics.
"Sorry about that," the small Mustela said popping his head up. "Seemed to have a little technical difficulties and had to free ball it. I just said what I figured his boyfriend would say." The stoat shrugged nowing more than he was letting on.