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The first day of school; There's nothing quite like it. I walked alone down the familiar crowded hallways, nodding to classmates and showing the odd smile when one was called for. I never stopped being amused by the stares of first years. I'm kind of an oddity, that being my great, great grandfather was a goat. Over the next few generations, those genes were blended into an otherwise pure fox bloodline. I ended up with a really... strange characteristic: I had horns. Since I'd hit puberty they'd grown to be about 8 inches long. I grew to love my unique appearance, but it still threw other people off.

I was never one for yelling and running to friends, but when I spotted Nate's silky black coat I couldn't help but barge through a group of first years to get to him. Not being the most graceful, I actually knocked one guy out of the way. After receiving a few not-so-carefully hidden scowls, and muttering some half-hearted appologies, I called out to my best friend.

Nate turned, and a toothy grin spread across his face, "Luka! Long time, eh?"

I gave him one of those awkward guy hugs, the type where you kind of punch each others' backs a few times, before saying, "Yeah! How was B.C?"

He smiled so wide I thought his face would split in two. "It is such an amazing place. Having the mountains practically in your backyard.. there's nothing quite like it."

Nate had been away on the other side of the country all summer. He had family out there, which meant every year, we spent summer vacation without seeing each other. The wolf continued his enthusiastic recollection the whole way to our school's atrium. This was one part of the day I could do without- fighting through a huge crowd to get to your schedule. They used to just hand them out, or mail them. Now, the entire student body had to collect at this little wall just to find out where homeroom was.

There was light yank on my tail, and I spun around expecting to see a group of snickering classmates. Instead, I was greeted by the lithe frame of a raccoon.

"Oh hey April, you caught up. I was just talking to Nate-"

I was cut off by a shriek as she pushed past me to barrage the poor guy with hugs, and questions. I didn't mind the brush off- we had arrived together, anyway. Having heard most of Nate's tales already, I focused on making my way to the wall. Avoiding a particular horse, I took a quick mental note of my room number, and April and Nate's as well. No sense in them going through this trauma. I turned and began to wedge my way back towards my friends.

**

First period was math- not the way I wanted to start my day. Being in our final year of highschool, Mr. Grout found it suiting to our age to jump right to review after handing out our full schedules. The rest of my day was equally uneventful, with only one thing worth mentioning.

I had two classes with Roy Manery, who had acted unexpectedly interested in me all day.

Of course this means nothing right now, so let me provide some background info. I've had a thing for Roy since I first met him in grade 9. This tiger was the worst type of crush, the "I could have him if I only knew he were gay" type.

Which of course he wasn't.

That didn't stop my sorry self from crushing over him for the next three years. I mean, he literally was the reason I knew I was gay. After a few months of helping Roy with english, I realized what I felt around him probably wasn't very heterosexual. I came to terms with that, and came out.

That was where things went wrong- Oh no, not with Roy. He still was (hopefully) oblivious to my feelings. I had grown distant when he got his first girlfriend, and now we didn't talk much. But that wasn't the only reason I disassociated myself from him. No, the true issue was with my parents.

Our school is Catholic, so it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that my family is too. When my mother found out, she didn't say anything. Really. I told her, and she silently just sat there, as if I hadn't even spoke. She must have told my father that night though, because the next day after school I was having a forced sleepover at April's.

I was allowed home the day after that. Only briefly. I walked into my room to find all my things packed. I balked, and after hours of crying and shouting, my parents still felt the same. Thankfully, April's family took me in without question. And so, for the past three years I'd been living with my best friend.

I didn't get through this unscarred. For the longest time I blamed myself. Why had I been so quick to accept those thoughts about that ridiculously handsome tiger? Why hadn't I tried to stay straight, to stay normal? Eventually, I found myself understanding how ridiculous that was, how there was nothing wrong with me. By then, however, it was too late to mend my friendship with Roy.

Enter Nathan Craw. The ink-black wolf had tranfered to our school near the end of grade 9. Ashlee Vale, already totally popular, threw an end-of-the-year bash. It was a pool party, and of course I had to make an offhand comment to an aquaintance about how incredibly hot I thought the new guy looked in his trunks. Slightly more perceptive (and largely due to my piers' insatiable gossip habits), Nate approached me at the end of the party. He introduced himself formally, and thanked me for the "flattering comment". I must have blushed up to my ears. I got he was trying to diffuse a potentially awkward situation, one that could come back to get me, so I just made a few sarcastic comments. We'd been friends ever since.

Back to Roy. Ever present in the back of my mind, he made a comeback in grade 10. That comment about Nate had done way more damage than I could have anticipated. Apparently I wasn't the type of guy one just assumed was gay, or even speculated for that matter. So when I had confirmed it, I guess that was hot news in our year. The only out gay guy in the school. It hadn't occured to me that people cared that much.

We had been on a school trip, or "retreat" as they put it. A day for your whole grade to go to the beach and have some quality time together. As if. Bruce Barns, an impossibly tall, chestnut horse, took it upon himself to call me out that day.

We were all sprawled across a stretch of beach, enjoying the cool breeze on an otherwise hot day. April and I were on towels, laying in the sun. Nate was off in the water with a few of his other guy friends. I had been telling April about a job I had just got at a candle store in the mall when a shadow halted our conversation.

"Hey, Cross," Bruce said with a lopsided grin, his eyes flitting to his entourage for encouragement. My heart sank when I noticed Roy at the fringe of this happy parade. I knew that Bruce and Roy were friends, but I also knew what was coming. I had thought Roy was above this.

"Cross, I said hey," Bruce repeated. I knew he wouldn't leave without some sort of acknowledgement. April looked terrified; I knew she froze in these kinds of situations, and didn't hold it against her.

"Hi, Bruce. What's up?" I tried my best to sound aloof. That apparently just made him more cocky.

"Well, see, I was about to go take a dip, then I noticed you lying here. Figured 'Hey, why not bring the show to Cross, that way he won't have to strain his poor little eyes while we're all swimming.'" A few of his friends snickered, and he continued, "So here we are! Take it all in." He spread his arms and gestured to his bare chest, then to a few of his friends.

My rage boiled over at this point, and I snapped. "What makes you think I want to see that wreck?" He was built, but right now I was too angry to come up with anything less superficial.

Bruce didn't even skip a beat, "Just figured I'd indulge our fag's little fantasy."

I choked on whatever it was I was about to spit back at him. There were so many things about that statement that hurt, but what got me most was that he had gestured to Roy as he said "fantasy". I turned to April, crazed with fear, thinking he knew, but she was just as wide-eyed as me. Then the tiger in question stepped in.

"Dude, c'mon. Out of line. I told you not to do this, but now you're just going too far. Leave him alone, he hasn't even looked our way all day."

And my heart stopped. No one, literally no one, went against Bruce. I guess their long friendship had some power, though, because they left after that. Not before the damned horse gave me a mocking wink, though.

And just like that, Roy Manery was back in my sights. He had stood up for me, and not just against anyone. Against his best friend. So it came as no surprise when, later that night at mine and April's house, I mentioned the fortunate scheduling to my best friends.

April teased me lightly about being a stalker, and Nate just said, "Him again." They knew about my feelings towards Roy, and Nate was always trying to dissuade me from pursuing any further thought about him.

"You know he's straight, right?" Nate said flatly, for the hundredth time.

"Yeah, but again. Not like I can help it. I don't know, it's just... how I feel." And that was always my response. I tried to rationalize it, tell myself he was straight, there's no point in pursuing that. But I voiced my counterpoints aloud, again, trying to convince myself as well as my friends.

"He had one girlfriend, and they barely lasted 4 months. That doesn't mean anything!" I liked that argument the best. "Plus, he's stood up for me, he smiles at me in the halls, and..." I paused briefly, knowing how dumb it sounded, "He kept looking at me in class today. Like lingering looks. I caught his a eye a few times and he didn't look away."

April opened her mouth to say something, then decided not to. Nate jumped in instead, "Look, I'll admit, if he was looking at you, yeah that's weird. But the fact remains-"

"I never break you! Nate, you agreed with me about something Roy related!" This was unprecedented. The best part was I knew I was right. It was totally weird behaviour from my otherwise predictably straight crush. I hadn't seen him in a few months though, who knew what could have happened?

"I said if!" Nate exclaimed defensively, "Besides, even if you're right, what would you do about it?"

His words stuck with me well after he went home. April had long since went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. What would I do about it? It wasn't like I could just ask him what was up tomorrow; Even though he had been acting weird today, I think the awkwardness of mentioning my suspicions about his staring would far outstrip the benefits.

Still I couldn't sleep. I pulled up my laptop and started scrolling through various websites I frequented. Most were focused on clothes, a few about art. In the end I always ended up on Facebook. I was laughing at a post about the school's food not improving when a thought hit me. A perfect, perfect idea.

I scrolled to my messages and hit new. Addressing it to Roy Manery, my fingers flew as I typed:

Hey Roy,

_Noticed we have some classes together this year. It looked like you had something to say to me today, so just checking in to make sure everything was all right. _

I hit send, marveling at my genius. i could talk about it without all my terrible social quirks, at a nice slow pace. Then I had a heart attack when I got a response a few seconds later. He was online.

Hey Luka. Yeah, classes together, it should be just like the old times! Sorry about the staring, you just looked different for some reason lol.

I would have screamed if my room was soundproof. He had been staring at me, without a doubt. And his reason seemed incredibly promising. My heart was in my throat as I said back,

No, same old, same old. Not much has changed about this fox over the summer lol. You were looking pretty good yourself today.

Looking pretty good yourself today!? Oh my gosh, I had already hit send without thinking. If that was blatant flirtation I don't know what is. First day back to school and I already managed to mess up. I almost threw my laptop across the room until,

Haha, thanks. I'd been working in a warehouse all summer, got kind of built. Looks like it shows. You were looking fantastic as always.

I squeaked a little. What. What!? I read over that message for what felt like an hour. Someone had to be messing with me. No way, no way, no WAY had he written that. I rubbed my eyes. Maybe it was because I was over-tired? It was like, 2 AM. But no, the words stayed. What did I say to that? Being blunt seemed to work the first time, dare I be so bold again? Whatever, I went for it.

Thanks, Roy! That means a lot to me. So... I've been wondering something.

The response was instant

Yeah, sure. What is it?

I hesitated, then realized he couldn't see me shaking with anticipation. This was it.

Are you gay?

I waited for his response.

And waited.