FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Far too long since i got back to this! Sorry about the wait, I just need to go over the next few chaps and they'll be out in a more timely manner than the previous gap haha. Oh well, hope you like it!

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Another date...or meeting...or agreed upon time and location to talk; Marion wasn't quite sure what he was calling it. The only thing he knew was that he'd agreed to meet Ben once again for coffee, but at two o'clock instead of the awkward mid-afternoon. Oh, but it seemed Wednesday would come far too soon. Still, Wednesday was the best choice. By doing this, it assured them both at least two hours to speak--seeing as Chris had practice.

He couldn't deny that he was a bit excited about their upcoming meeting. Ben's company had been very pleasant on their first date/meeting/time-to-meet-and-talk. Truthfully the bear seemed like a well-rounded individual. OK, perhaps his sense of clothing was a bit odd for the city, but it still worked. It was just that the bear looked a bit like a lumberjack...and well, lumberjacks are hot, aren't they?

Marion's brow was furrowed and after a moment he nodded. Yes, lumberjacks were certainly attractive. Even if Ben didn't wear plaid of look like he should be chopping down a tree he was still easy on the eyes. Ben was strong looking, seemed well educated, talked very kindly--not ruling or under-contributing to the conversation, had nice eyes, and funny. What wasn't there to like?

Perhaps the fact that the bear was a secret drunkard? Or maybe Ben didn't like children? Or the bear might be expecting them to move fast? Would they move fast? Marion knew that if the drinking idea and the dislike of children were things he couldn't deal with, but the speed of their relationship had him befuddled.

From their small talk it seemed like Ben was interested in companionship also, and not something purely physical. Then again, weren't they both interested in each other in both manners. Marion was sure he wouldn't mind the feeling of Ben's paw in his own, or the feeling of having someone there for him.

Chris was there for him, and he loved the pup, but the pup couldn't replace a missing piece. Of course, the piece didn't have to exist, but Marion knew he'd could be happy having someone he could take solace in. It would be nice to have a friend of his own--someone who wasn't just a friend, but was someone he connected with on a deeper level.

Oh, I haven't even had a proper date...what am I thinking? We may not even make it past a real date. I mean...there's absolutely no reason to get my hopes up, or to worry about any of this yet? We may just meet a few times and then stop meeting...or......

"Just fall already!" Jason barked, followed by the sound of some sound effect from a video game.

Marion heard his son give a groan of displeasure and he guessed Chris was getting beaten at the game. He couldn't help a tiny grin, always finding it humorous to listen, and even more so to watch, his son and friends play on their games. At one point he had tried playing them, but after both his son and one of his friends spent four minutes explaining the concept that pressing the 'y' button followed by 'x over z with a left tilt on the d-pad' would help him to pull out a rope and cross a broken bridge, he decided it wasn't for him. Whatever happened to the good old days, where you pressed two buttons, 'a' and 'b' and then a d-pad for four directions of movement.

Still, he did admit one part was a bit nice to today's games. They certainly looked better than in his day, where there had been a pixel for an eye, and very little detail, but he didn't quite think that made them better. After all, he would forever have to say that--even if kid's today thought it too cartoony--jumping on top of walking turtles and mushrooms would always beat shooting at other furs.

The small thoughts about games only served, in the end, as a small break from his anxious thoughts about his date with Ben. Marion quickly shook his head at the idea, it wasn't a date! It was...a meeting. Yes, it was just a meeting. One in which he wouldn't have minded showing a form of closeness, perhaps to see how Ben's paw and his fit together. "Oh come-on!" Marion told himself with a scowl.

Why was it so much different now? Dating had been easier before, hadn't it? With Nick all he had done was went home with the fox. But, Marion also realized just how bad that example was too. Nick hadn't been a date; the fox was a culmination of what he didn't want Chris to be around. The fox hadn't been very kind--though Marion also couldn't deny he'd been a bit crass with him--nor did he seem to care about other's feelings, and otherwise seemed to be an unpleasant person.

A real date--what exactly did that encompass in today's society? Was he expected to do something in particular. Perhaps if he was Chris's age he could take Ben to a movie and just relax. I guess the real question is...how does a fur, like me, who hasn't dated in nearly two years, who now has a family, and has a very bad track record...date anyone? Marion thought with what he felt was a bit of despair.

Off to the side Marion could see it was nearing seven o'clock, which meant Jason only had another hour before he had to go home. Another fact was that he hadn't eaten, or fed the pups since their two o'clock lunch, when they had decided to wake up. Hunger was largely the last thing on his mind, but now he forced it to the front, so, at the very least to get his mind off his up coming meeting with Ben. He walked into the living room and couldn't help but feel happy to see Chris's character on the 'winning' side of the screen.

"Hey you two, why don't we go out and grab a bite?" Marion asked, smiling between the two pups. "I can drop you off afterwards Jason...your parents did say I have to have you home by eight, right?"

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Wednesday came far too quickly. Marion parked his car and let out a sigh before quickly pulling down his mirror and running over his reflection. Mary had practically squealed to hear he was going on a date with Ben, and he was quite sure a few of the other workers had heard her from the pitch she said it with. The happiness for him was only matched by his groan of annoyance at the fact he was wearing his work clothes to the date.

What had she expected? A suit? But according his nature the small idea grew far too quickly in Marion's mind. By his normal lunch time Marion wondered if he should drive back home and grab his suite. What if Ben wore a suit?

At a downtown restaurant? One that wasn't even dressy? No. No way. Marion thought as he ran his paw over his head fur once again. "Still...maybe I should've worn a dress up shirt...at least...."

Marion let out a sigh and tried his best to calm down his heart that was thumping roughly against his rib-cage. I'm going to have sweat stains before I get to the door! Marion thought with a growl of annoyance at his own body.

No such thing happened though. Marion walked through the door and the annoying and nagging question Mary had put in his mind was put to rest. There had been no reason for him to dress up, and he was glad he hadn't, because just twenty feet away sat Ben, in a flannel button up and jeans. The bear looked like he had gotten in from the woods, cutting trees.

Swallowing the lump in his throat Marion moved over to the bear. He couldn't help but give a last glance at his own reflection through one of the windows in the store, which hadn't changed at all in the past minute. Far too soon Marion found himself standing at the table, but Ben seemed to not notice him at all. He even bent down to make srue it was the bear, and Ben still sat there, looking off to the side and occasionally furrowing his brow in thought.

"Hey..." Marion stated, smiling at the bear and swallowing the lump in his throat that seemed content to stay exactly where it was.

"Marion!" Ben replied quickly. He knew he should've expected the wolf, but somehow his sudden appearance startled him. He stood up and smiled brightly as he extended a paw, "How are you?"

"Uhh, I'm good," Marion replied, feeling a bit strange to be shaking the bear's paw. He almost felt like he was going into an interview or that the bear was trying to be professional about something. Apparently Ben caught onto this, and the pawshake became much better--at least Marion felt so--when Ben gave a comforting squeeze before pulling back.

"Sorry...it's a habit of my job. Didn't mean to freak you out," Ben said, quickly taking his seat again and smiling at the wolf, "Well, I took the liberty of ordering us an appetizer,"

"Thanks...I'm actually really hungry," Marion admitted with a chuckle. He'd only had a piece of toast for breakfast and had skipped his usual lunch time knowing he was going to be meeting Ben anyway. He smiled once more at the bear, who, true to his nature so far, had on a plaid shirt that was tucked into his jeans. He couldn't help but note that Ben, when compared to most ursines he saw, didn't have as large a stomach, though it was still there. He quickly realized he was staring and looked back up at the bear, who--even if he had noticed--was being polite enough not to tell. "Uhh...you...look nice,"

Ben's ears twitched and he looked back at the wolf and then chuckled, "Thanks, you do too," he replied easily. For a few seconds he just smiled back at the wolf, expecting Marion to give him some sort of sign, but none ever came. "Nervous?"

Marion gave his best smile, though he was sure--true to his own nature--it looked nervous. "Pretty obvious, right?"

"Just a bit," Ben replied, acting like he was pinching something. He gave a small laugh and leaned back in his chair, "Well...umm, what would make you relax?"

"I'm not really sure," Marion said honestly. He looked up and tried his best to smile at Ben, who smiled back at him. As much as it he felt it should've disconcerted him, Marion felt relief run through him when Ben smiled back; though why he felt relieved, or that he shouldn't be relieved, he didn't know. "I guess just talking is a good start, right?" he asked, with a chuckle.

"Yeah...it is," Ben replied with a chuckle.

Marion looked away for a second and tried to calm himself. He put his paws on the table to keep himself from fiddling about and let out a slow breath. Just relax. Try a method...just say whatever comes to mind...that can't be too bad, could it?

"So...how are you?" Ben asked after a moment.

"Nervous...really nervous," Marion replied quickly and then bit his tongue and looked away again. Moron! he thought, but relief once more flooded through him when Ben laughed. His ears flickered nervously as he looked back over at the bear.

Ben couldn't help but feel his attraction to Marion grow. Sure the wolf didn't mean to, but Marion was always so real and open about himself; even if the regret about it was so obvious a second later. He wanted to repay it to the wolf, to somehow let him know that he was nervous too, just hid it better. "Well...I'm nervous too,"

Once again Marion's ears flickered and he cocked his head, wondering if he'd heard the bear correctly.

Ben nodded and smiled at the wolf. It had seemed like a complicated action, but what was so hard about being honest with the wolf? All he had to do was say what he was thinking. "I may not show it quite as much as you do though," he said with a chuckle.

The smile that Ben gave him was encouraging and Marion felt his own nervousness once again slip away a bit. "Hehe...well...I guess...."

"So, I didn't say it before," Ben said and slowly moved his paws out and pressed them over the wolf's, "But you look nice too,"

Marion felt his heart take a jump with the touch and almost as soon as it had been there it was gone. He had to admit, it had been nice, but was glad the bear had pulled back after the short contact. It was only their second date/meeting/time-to-meet-and-talk after all. The compliment didn't go unnoticed, and Marion was sure the bear saw the red that was in his ears, though he tried his best to hide it, "So...umm, yeah, tell me about yourself; hobbies, favorite foods, that stuff," he said with a smile.

Finally...a subject; that wasn't so hard Marion thought with a sigh.

"Oh, well...umm, hobbies...I love reading. Some of my favorite books are fantasy, even today. I get a lot of weird looks when I say that though......like right now," Ben said, nodding at Marion who had his head cocked and was giving him an incredulous look.

Marion shook his face of the expression, and effectively making a few others in the restaurant more than likely fear he had fleas. He quickly smiled at the bear, "Well...I mean, umm, can I be honest?"

"I'd hope so," Ben said with a chuckle.

"It's just weird," Marion explained with a nervous chuckle. "Seeing a guy like you say he likes fiction. You've...well, you're big and strong,"

"Thanks,"

Marion felt his ears go red again, but he tried his best to ignore it, "And, you've kind of got a, well, I don't mean it rudely, but a lumberjack look going on," he said, "And that's not a bad thing, I mean, lumberjacks are hot," he sputtered quickly, hoping to not insult the bear.

Ben felt his ears flicker at that. Others had said he kind of had a lumberjack look before, but the later part was generally left out or not stated. He quickly smiled at the wolf though, knowing Marion was about to apologize and freak out again, "Well, thanks...I think,"

"Umm, well...you know...I think people just picture you at the gym and doing things like......."

"Like chopping trees?" Ben offered with a smile.

Marion couldn't help it, he laughed at the bear. He nodded and didn't know if it was funny or whether it had been too long since hanging out with anyone who wasn't his son. Still, he found himself beginning to really enjoy the bear's company. Ben didn't get insulted by anything he said, and Ben was encouraging enough to not condemn him for spitting out the first things that came to his mind. Before he could say anything else a basket of bread landed on their table along with a small bowl that had some fried vegetables; or so it looked. Before he could inspect it though the waiter asked Ben what he would like to eat, and he realized he hadn't even glanced at the menu. Instead of scrambling blindly to see what the restaurant offered he just smiled and told the waiter he'd have the same.

Marion didn't wait terribly long before grabbing a piece of bread and taking a chunk out of it, and was glad to see Ben take a chunk of bread too. After a few seconds he swallowed the portion and nodded at the bear, "Umm, so...like, what kind of ficition do you like?"

"Oh, tons...some of my favorites are The Riftwar Saga, The Belgariad, and of course you have to have The Lord of the Rings," Ben said easily, looking like he could easily name many more books off the top of his head. He took one of the vegetables and quickly threw it in his muzzle, swallowing and then looking back at the wolf, "I like other types of genres too of course. Lots of fiction, not big on the whole non-fiction thing though,"

"Yeah...I get you, why read a story about what you're living anyway?"

Ben laughed a little and nodded, "Yeah, I guess you could say that,"

"Well, you do more than read books, right?" Marion asked with a chuckle.

"Of course....but," Ben said and winked at the wolf, "If you want to know more you'll have to tell me something about yourself,"

Marion struggled to swallow the fried vegetable; the wink having thrown him off. He quickly finished the morsel though and smiled back at the bear, "Oh...I'm really pretty boring I think. But one thing...well...umm, I like crime shows. Your turn,"

"I like to take walks,"

"I like sleeping in on weekends,"

"My favorite place to read is in bed,"

"My favorite movie is The Shawshank Redemption,"

And so it went. Marion found that the small game between them, though not entirely deep, was enough to make him like Ben more than before. The bear liked to watch TV occasionally, was an avid reader, liked walking in isolated woody areas, enjoyed hard candy more than chocolate, preferred to take trains over planes, and believed himself to be a romantic. Not all the facts were shallow though, he also learned that Ben's parents had passed away and that the bear had once before been in a serious relationship that he ended due to tensions at home.

It was comfortable to say the least. They had had a shaky start but Ben felt himself smiling naturally at the wolf as he bit into his medium well burger with chili, onions, green peppers, relish, and just about every other topping known to society. Marion had made a terrible mistake in ordering his same dish, as seen by the fact the wolf had stacked nearly half the toppings to the side. He now knew Marion as the wolf who liked to watch TV late at night, have a coffee and toast for breakfast, loved anything coffee flavored, slept in a king sized bed, and some deeper facts such as the fact the wolf considered himself a depressing guy sometimes.

Over the course of their meal they didn't speak terribly much, and never said anything that was note worthy to the other. Ben couldn't help but note that Marion had truly been hungry, because the wolf--after getting rid of what he considered the 'trash' on his burger--devoured it. To his surprise, the wolf paid for his meal and instead of sitting and talking Marion suggested they go for a walk.

Sadly though, he felt their time was quickly running out. Ben laughed as the wolf told him a story from his college years; about how he'd accidently thrown a halide solution down the drain, but instead of telling the instructor bit his tongue so he didn't lose points for the lab. He shook his head and let out a sigh, "Wow...that's so crazy....I would've told right of the bat,"

"Did you have to take a lot of chemistry?"

"Yeah," Ben said with a chuckle, "I actually majored in Bio-Chemistry with a minor in Analytical,"

Marion felt his ears twitch wildly and he looked back at the bear with renewed interest. He hadn't seen Ben as an idiot, but he'd never imagined the bear's school of study had been even slightly like his own. "Really?"

"Yeah...Hamilson is my alma mater,"

"That's a good school,"

"Yeah," Ben replied and looked down at his watch and then to the wolf, "Well...looks like I just caught your interest,"

"You had it before that..." Marion said with a smile, not wanting Ben to think he had been bored before.

Ben smiled warmly at the wolf and shrugged his shoulders, "Well...umm...at least I have something to tell you on our next date,"

"We...are going to have another, right?" Ben asked quickly, not sure why he felt the urge to ask so quckily.

"Y--Yeah," Marion replied after a second, more taken back by the bear's almost nervousness than anything else.

"Good..." Ben said with a sigh. He shook his head and looked back at the wolf, "Well...I need to go, but...it's been really nice Marion,"

"Yeah...it has been," Marion replied, extending his paw to the bear.

Ben slowly shook the paw, not acting half as business like in it as he had at the beginning, instead throwing in a kind squeeze. He also stayed with the shake for a few moments more than would've been normal, but he was more than glad to note Marion hardly seemed to mind. He pulled back and looked around, "So...Umm, I parked that way,"

Marion frowned when he saw Ben point away from his own car. With a frown he threw a paw behin himself, "I parked that way,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah,"

"Hehe...well, umm...I guess I'll call you later?"

"That would make me happy," Marion said, feeling his stomach flutter at the feeling. He was beginning ot think that Ben was like he was at the beginning of dates. They would have a great middle, but at the beginning he'd be nervous, and at the end the bear would be.

"Good," Ben replied with a smile. He turned around and began to walk off. He rounded the corner and let out a sigh. Oh...what just happened? We were having fun, and then I just kind of choked. I don't really get it. I really should look up some tips on dating when I get back home...though I don't know that would help......Crap! I forgot to say good bye he thought and quickly turned around. He rounded the corner and saw Marion walking away.

"Hey...umm, Marion?" Ben suddenly asked.

Marion stopped and quickly turned around. He'd been content with his date, and that was what he was now thinking of it as. Sure it wasn't anything grand, but he'd gotten to know the bear that was Ben over the two hours. And more importantly he found himself wanting to spend more time with him. His vision was composed of the bear's neck, and he quickly fixed it by looking up, but when he did he felt his eyes widen momentarily.

Oh man...why did I kiss him? I mean...I wanted to of course...but...well, it just sort of happened. All I'd meant to say was bye. I...I haven't even done that yet! Ben quickly pulled back and gave his best smile, "I hope that was OK....sorry...I know my breath probably smells......" he said, not sure why he didn't say bye and run away.

Marion stared at the bear and slowly felt himself nod.

Ben's smile increased and he gave a strong laugh--as if he'd just gotten some great accomplishment. He quickly calmed down though, and seemed to try and give his best poker-face, "OK...umm...well...bye,"

Marion watched as the bear walked away and without really thinking about it put his paw to his cheek. More so than Ben's act, what he felt startled him; tension. He was smiling; grinning actually. After a second he just rubbed over his cheek and gave a let out a huff. It had been nice of the bear for sure, and Marion hadn't even realized he'd begun to smile at the act. "Maybe...he's OK...." he said to himself as he stared at the corner the bear had disappeared behind.

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Marion let out a sigh as he looked down at Chris whose eyes were glued on the TV screen in front of them. He couldn't say he was enjoying it very much, but a large portion of that was surely do to the fact he was still thinking about the kiss. Oh it wasn't even on the lips!

That didn't help though. Marion had enjoyed it. It had been nearly three years since he'd been kissed, even on the cheek. Another sigh escaped him. He had greatly enjoyed it, that was sure, but another part of him was filled with fear and doubt again.

Here he sat, with Chris's head laying in his lap and he was thinking about a bear he was dating while his son didn't even know he was gay. He knew, before he became serious with Ben, that he had to tell the pup, but every fiber of his being seemed to be against the idea.

"You OK?" Chris asked, looking up at the larger wolf. His dad hadn't been very talkative today. Of course he'd still asked him about school and the usual, but their conversation seemed one sided. More times than not his father just seemed to end up staring at him, though not quite at him so much as through him. Still, whenever his dad was 'looking in the distance' his eyes were always on him. For a few minutes Chris had been scared the wolf somehow knew about the quiz he'd failed today, but it was very unlikely. One time he'd come in to see his dad staring at a mirror and running a paw over his face, though why he didn't know and didn't ask. As it was he startled his dad just by being behind him without knowing.

"Ye--Yeah...sorry Chris. I think I'm just tired," Marion lied, feeling guilt rise up in his stomach at the words. The pup deserved to know_. And hell if it won't make me feel better too...God...coming out to my parents wasn't hard...but...well...fathers...they aren't supposed to have to come out to their pups...they don't usually have pups. What am I going to do?_

Once again the wolf was staring him. Chris ignored it and looked back at the TV where a zebra was running from two detectives after having shot a criminal they were bringing down the steps of the courthouse. He already knew how it ended though, he'd seen it just three weeks ago and the ending wasn't really that good. He let out a yawn, and sat up, rubbing at his eyes.

"Going to bed?" Marion asked, looking over at the pup.

"Yeah...and...well, I guess you need to do the same," Chris said smiling at the wolf.

Marion rolled his eyes, it was odd to have his own son tell him he needed to go to bed. He playfully elbowed the pup and stood up, "I'm an adult; we don't listen to pups,"

Chris laughed and nodded. After a few moments he looked back at his father and cocked his head, "Well...are you OK? You've been acting tired for a few days,"

Marion felt his ears flicker nervously. Of course he knew the pup should know something was up, but he didn't think Chris would ever ask him about it. You can tell him...you can tell him now "I'm fine Son, don't worry. Just had a few people calling at work...they're trying to work out things with their insurance and...well...ugggh," he said, exaggerating a groan of displeasure as if there really was a customer having trouble.

Chris laughed and shook his head. Standing up and moving over he quickly wrapped his arms around the larger wolf's body, "Night Dad,"

"Good night Pup," Marion said, hugging his son and kissing him quickly on top of the head. He patted the pup's back gently. They both pulled back after a minute and he smiled at him, "I love you Chris,"

Chris's nose wrinkled but he smiled and nodded, "I love you too Dad," he replied before turning around and heading up the stairs. He looked back briefly at the wolf and wondered what his father was so nervous about still. It had been like this for nearly two weeks and he was beginning to worry. Still, his father had told him everything was fine, and he knew the wolf wouldn't lie to him.

Marion let out a sigh as he turned off the lights downstairs, feeling better in one respect yet worse in another; as seemed to be the cycle of things. Now that he'd reassured Chris he was worried he would lose Ben; just like when reassuring himself of Ben and himself he was worried about losing the pup. Of course Chris was the most important, he'd get over Ben if things went sour, but the relationship with his son was of critical importance.

As he got up to the second floor Marion could hear the piano from Chris's room; the pup didn't seem to be playing anything in particular, rather just improvising. A warm smile fell over Marion's features and for a minute he just enjoyed the pup's playing, it felt nice; as if the medley was encouraging him. Then that changed.

The pup hit a sour note, followed by another sour note, and then another. Marion winced at the sound and heard Chris silently mutter under his breath. That was the pup's problem with improvisation, once he made one mistake he tended to fall into making nothing but mistakes in the song. Still, for as long as it lasted, he had felt the music was very enjoyable.

Though perhaps far too thoughtful Marion felt more dread enter him after listening to his son's playing, as if it was an omen. Was that his life? A nice melody that, after hitting a sour note, cascaded into failure and unhappiness? The very idea of comparing his life to music seemed ludicrous, and yet despite such a comparison Marion couldn't shake himself of the idea.

The closer he got to Ben, the worse he let the situation become. He knew that he had to not just tell Chris, but to tell Ben also. It wasn't right to lead Ben on, nor was it right to lie to his son. Marion closed the door behind himself and rolled his eyes. It's certainly easier not telling though he thought with a grimace.

Of course....I can't not tell them. I mean...Chris would hate me I'm sure. I don't even know how he's going to react. I...I can't just tell him, can I? Maybe I should ask him some questions first, just to be safe, Marion thought as he brushed his teeth, some of the white suds making him seem feral and rabid, Yeah...how are you going to do that Marion?

Hey there Son, what do you think of gay furs? I can ask that... Well Geez Pop, I've never really thought about it...I guess they're swell! Swell? What? That sounds a bit weird? You asked me to begin with Dad!

Oh what am I doing? Marion thought with a growl at the failed inter-dialogue, accidentally swallowing some of the toothpaste and beginning to cough as he did so. The foamy substance spattered across his mirror and he fought to get some water into his muzzle, an odd fight between gurgling and clearing his throat. At the end of the minute Marion found himself frowning at his image in the mirror, covered in suds.

Maybe I'll just tell Ben first... he thought as he wiped the suds off his chin and rinsed his paws off in the water. Yeah...that's what I'll do

Marion swiftly grabbed his phone and began to type. He didn't give himself time to think about what he was saying, only to type. He quickly pressed the send button. There, now the bear would know he was a father and had a son he was living with and that he was completely terrified of losing his son.

NO NO NO NO! Marion thought hurriedly and nearly smashed his thumb against the 'clear' button. Thankfully the message was canceled. Marion let out a sigh of relief, followed by a groan of annoyance. Oh I'm such a coward........

Marion stared at his phone, shaking his head and wondering why he couldn't even send a simple text message anymore. After sometime his attention was brought back into his room by the fact that the hall light had gone off. That meant he'd forgotten to turn it off in his thoughts, and that Chris was going to sleep. Marion thought for a few seconds of running over and telling his son everything. Was it so hard? No. Why couldn't he just, for a few moments, stop caring about what others would think?

I don't know...maybe it's because I'm a coward. But...what if this doesn't work with Ben? What if it falls apart and Chris hates me for being gay? Then...will I have opened up for nothing? But if we stay together...and I'm happy...then...I'll want to be with him, won't I? Marion thought quickly. And, well, it's not like Ben is going to get in the way of my time with Chris...but...I can't just keep them separate....

Marion stared at his phone for a minute more and then nodded surely. "I'll do it," he told himself and quickly opened up a message box for the bear.

"Ben we need to talk," Marion typed, his fingers feeling a bit jittery as he did so, making him have to correct more mistakes than usual as he typed. He sent the message and jammed his paws into the pockets of his pajama bottoms quickly, so that he wouldn't chicken out. Soon enough to check covered the screen and he knew it was done. With a sigh of fear and loathing about his inability to act, Marion put his phone down onto the nightstand. His shirt barely hit the floor before his phone began vibrating. He quickly picked it up and grimaced at the caller I.D.

Ben was calling? The bear was certainly quick to respond. With a bit of trepidation because of how near Chris was Marion picked up his phone, "Hello?"

"Hey," Ben said, knowing he wasn't entirely masking his nervousness. How could he not be nervous though? Just how often do 'we need to talk' messages end well? It was the kiss; he knew it. It had been far too sudden, he'd insulted the wolf. He swallowed the lump in his throat and gave a weak laugh, "So...umm, we need to talk?" he asked.

Marion felt his heart drop at the tone and realized his mistake. Just like usual, he was making things worse than they ever needed to be. "Ben, everything is fine...I didn't mean to scare you any," he said quickly, more kindness and reassurance in his tone than he'd meant to give, and yet knowing that as the words came out they were entirely true. "I just...I like you Ben, and before this gets any further, I feel like you need to know something about me. It's just...I want to pursue a relationship Ben--I really do, but I don't want to mislead you either,"

Ben felt relief flood through him, but not the best kind of relief--not total relief. Sure, now he could lie down and perhaps think about his kiss, or about the next move he could do to show Marion that he liked him, but the fact that the wolf was still nervous and jittery about something made him wonder what was wrong? In some ways it made him think the wolf was trying to not break up with him but worried he wouldn't have a choice. What could it be though? The worst scenario he could think of was that the wolf had truly grown to like him, yet was already in a relationship. Still, he doubted that for the fact that Marion didn't seem to be one to do such a thing. A moment passed, and when he realized the wolf was not going to speak he made the effort, "OK...what is it?"

Marion swallowed the lump in his own throat, and unlike Ben's he made a nervous gulping sound as he did, which only furthered his nervousness now that he knew the bear knew how nervous he was. He tried to tell himself that Ben wasn't going to judge him, and yet he couldn't help but wonder. What if Ben didn't like children? What if the bear was scared off? He did like Ben, and though he hated to admit it, if the bear was scared off by Chris, he would be sad. He mouthed the words for a few moments before coughing to clear his throat. "I...uhhh....Well, you see......"

"Marion," Ben said, after having heard the wolf stutter for nearly fifteen seconds. "Marion, don't worry. Just say what you want OK? You already told me you watna relationship with me, and you know that's what I want, so I don't think you can scare me off,"

"Y--Yeah," Marion replied dumbly, wetting his lips again. Scare the bear off? It was almost like Ben knew exactly what he was afraid of. And even though Marion was sure he was crazy, and perhaps stupid for, he felt like he could hear the bear smiling at him over the phone; as if to encourage him. The small act, even if it was in his imagination, was part of the reason he was growing to like the bear, and part of the reason this scared him so much. He swallowed--once again--the rapidly reappearing lump in his throat. "Ben...I'm a father,"

The other end of the phone was silent. And finally, after nearly ten seconds Marion heard the next sounds, "A what?"