Authors notes:

hey there, so honestly i have to say that NON of the Chapters i have written about Sanrose, are in line with one another. there is just so much i think of about the idea but yet, i don't always have my handy dandy laptop with me. lol. so here is another chapter, but ignore the chapter number cause that is HIGHLY most likley to change at some point. well, hope you all enjoy it. cheers, ^.^

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Sanrose and Lania's exceptance

Sanrose journal entry 07 When it happened...

Lania and I sat on my bed, after a hard but fun day of work, thinking about the day we just had. First we went and played with the orphan kids in Jinassale. After that we had cut down trees for building projects of small huts for the village elders. I looked over to her and smiled, little beads of sweat still remained on my forehead from the work. She smiled back and said to me, "Is this what you usually do? Just do things for others before you fix even your own home?" "Just about" I replied, "but this day was a bit more that what I usually plan. And I have already vowed to fix that hole in the roof, and it will be done by this weekend." I told her. "Hmmm. Is that so?" she replied as she poked the side of my arm. "Yes. It is so." I said back as I poked her back on her side. When I did this, she giggled, revealing her most ticklish spot on her body. "Ode for joy, a tickle spot."

She quickly started wiggling, trying to escape my tickling wrath, but I just chuckled and tickle her even more. She grabbed my hand and pushed it away. I stopped tickling her, for now. I snuck my tail behind her and started to tickle her again. She rolled away and fell on the ground still laughing. So I shrugged and jumped down to her and grabbed her sides, tickling her relentlessly with both hands and my tail. She was laughing loudly, throwing her arms and legs all over from how much it tickled. I continued but then looked at her face, and saw how much joy she was having. I stopped tickling her then moved away, I placed my self a few feet away from her and sat there, looking away from her.

She got up from the floor, fixed her shirt and sat down on a fallen pillow, "I'm sooo not ticklish" she then said in a sarcastic tone. I looked at her, looked away and did a weak chuckled, "nope, not at all. Not one bit." Her ears perked up and she curled up into a ball on the pillow. She then grabbed a piece of blank paper off of my desk, crushed it into a ball and threw it at my face. I caught the ball of paper with one hand without looking towards it, looked down at it and thought for a moment and had a flashback of my younger years. Thinking about the girl that I first and last showed my love towards, thinking about the rejection and the heartbreak that came afterwards. But then I remembered the song that came on over the radio, which felt like a message from the Lord. Feeling in Love again. I then shook my head and tossed the paper back. It landed beside her and I rested my head on my hand, pondering of what to do.

Lania blinked at me before wrapping her tail around her face and body. Without looking at her, I said in a much more professional tone, "I am sorry, but I should not have been doing that. No need to cover yourself up you know." she blinked; peering out from behind her tail she replied "No need to be sorry, and I am just keeping myself warm." "Well I was going farther than I should go. So I just need to say it." I said back to her as I pulled a blanket off of my bed and handed it over to her. She tilted her head to the side with a puzzled look on her face, but she gladly took the blanket and snuggled into it to keep warm while saying "what would that be?" I turned to her and looked into her eyes for a second, then looked away toward the fireplace. Its flame was like a hypnotic gaze, looking at me and through my soul. I thought for a second and sighed. "Aaahhhh, I just started thinking that... well... I guess it is not easy." I sat up and took a deep breath. "I will just say that the last person that I made them laugh a lot like that, Became someone close to my heart for a while, but then suddenly ended abruptly, hurting me deeply. So that is why I am sorry." "Oh, I see..." she replied nodding her head understandingly.

She then yawned, bearing teeth as she did this while letting her tongue stick out as it usually does when she yawns. "Oh I am sorry, but I am just a little tired from all the work today." I raised my head and chuckled "it is no problem at all." I said as I turned my head toward her. I then forced a little yawn and smiled. "I am a little on the tired side as well." Lania curled up in the blanket, peeking out a little bit. "You are that cold?" I asked. "I stay cold a lot." She answered. "Do you need another blanket? Or do you want to go to bed now?" I asked her. "Nope, I am okay." She said as she shivered, revealing that she is actually quite cold. "Oh you are not that ok." I poked her in the arm. She reached through a hole in the blanket and quickly poked me back on my side. I giggled and squirmed a little then instantly stopped. I looked over to her to see if she noticed that I too, was very ticklish. She poked her head out of the blanket and a large smile spread across her face and she started moving towards me. "Ahhh, you're ticklish as well!" "Darn it, she figured me out."

Lania began to sneak over towards me. "Ummm. No. no I am not very ticklish..." I said trying to get her to not tickle me. She giggled and crept closer to me saying, "don't make have to find out for myself." That is when I quickly curled into myself into a ball and cover myself with my wings while wrapping myself with my tail. She moved over toward me, laughing a little and peeked in through a hole near the top of my wings. "Hello in there" she sarcastically asked. "Nobodies home!" I yelled out through my coverings. "Oh really now" She said as she forced her head through the hole between my wings and said to me. "Oh then I guess nobody wont mind if I do this then she said and licked my cheek with her tongue.

I blushed very red and hid deeper into myself until I couldn't squeeze in anymore. She giggled even more and reached in trying to tickle my feet. "Come out of there mister!" she said between laughs. I started giggling loudly, turning into a laugh. "No please don't! I am very ticklish!" I yelled between bursts of laughter as the mass of us started shaking due to it. She smiled while giggling out "then come on out of there then." I laughed even more. "Okay okay, I'm coming" I said as I unwrapped myself. As I folded my wings back, I accidentally knocked her down on top of me; I blushed a little more and hope that she doesn't tickle me anymore.

Lania giggled and wrapped her arms around me. "There we go, now you can't go into hiding anymore." My face had to have shown a bit of red from how much I was blushing "okay, I will not go back into hiding for now." She smiled and said. "Okay good." I looked with a sense of curiosity at her and chuckled, making us both shake as we lay on the floor. "Uuuhhh... hmmm..." I said, trying to think of something to say. She must have seen my cheeks because Lania started to blush as well after a short giggle. I could not think of anything to say, I just lied there, wings and arms open on the floor, with Lania on top of my chest, hugging me. I was trying to figure out what she had going on in that mind of hers. "Maybe she is the one. Maybe I will not be a loner no more. No, it can't be. My father would never accept her, she is not a Princess. Nor a Dutchess. And I do not feel that she will think of what I am pondering. But why do I feel that something is going to happen that isn't bad? I have not felt this feeling since when I showed my love to... oh dear"

Lania raised her head up just above mine. She then slipped her tongue out and licked my cheek. "Wow, was I just dearly proven wrong, or is she just very tiered." I thought to myself. I blushed redder than I ripe cherry though my blue scales. Lania giggled. I finally thought of something to say. "Are you still cold?" Lania then snuggled herself into my chest while giving a light mur. "Nope." "Okay then." I said to her. I pondered for a moment. I finally decided to find out if what I was thinking was true. I peeked at her eyes, and she looked to mine. We were very close. I gently raised my arms and placed them lightly on her back, unsure if she will accept it. Lania smiled and wrapped her tail around my tail. "That must have meant acceptance" I thought. "Why else would she go further than I did?" I gently brought a wing up and covered us with it, keeping her warm from the cold autumn breeze coming in though a open window. Lania snuggled deeper into my chest and murred a little louder. She then reached her head near my neck and licked it. I hugged her tightly to me and she hugged back. I decided I had to absolutely find out what she was meaning by all of this. That is when I looked into her dark, hazel eyes that had a hint of her light fur color in it. She looked back into mine. I got the courage and leaned in close to her. I closed my eyes, and kissed her tenderly on her lips. And did I have the surprise of my life on when she kissed me back even deeper than I did.

When we finished, she was blushing very red, and I must of had been too, because Lania, rubbed her finger around my cheeks in a circular outline. 'It was true. The feeling that I once had before came back. I believe that I am truly in love now.' That is what I thought, until she had to think it was something else. Lania lifted her head and looked down to me. "So, want to get back in bed with me?" she said as she rubbed a finger on my chest. That is when all my feelings disappeared. Except for one emotion, Anger. I was furious. "How could she even think that, that is what I wanted?" I thought. My face went back to its normal dark metallic blue and I became serious. I got up off of the floor and got her off of my, and I must quote she was a little stronger than I thought, body and set her on the desk near my bed. "What! Is that what you truly think I want?" I started to yell at her. "After living here for about five months, and seeing how many times I have said NO to that kind of behavior, you think I am just going to go and do it because I kiss you?" she started to look very scared, I looked down to the floor and noticed that my scales were not the norm. The usual blue had turned to a pinkish color, and then, to a light red.

I walked toward the door, grabbed my sword, sheathed it, and left the cabin. After I got outside I jumped into the air and flew to an area of the forest that I only knew to calm down. It was not long after that I looked again at my scales; they were a dark fiery red, with black stripes that ran from the back of my neck and down my back, and split at my legs, running to my feet. Pink spots appeared along my forearms and running on my back, down to the end of my tail. I felt so angry and just wanted to be alone. I flew to a stream and landed. I checked and made sure everything was clear around me. "Clear" So I walked upstream. As I walked I began to run. I could not hold it in, but I knew I had to, or the whole forest and even the village will hear. I came to a waterfall and checked again. "Clear" so I walked inside and through the water fall. The water steamed and sizzled as I walked through it. After the waterfall, came a long narrow cave, I took off in full stride. At the end of the cave, there was a green meadow, with large tall oak trees surrounding, bunched and so close which made travel beyond them impossible, and a small pond in the middle with clear blue water. Finally I am here, my sanctuary.

I got down on my knees, and placed my hands on my head. And then with a deep breath, I threw my arms down and looked to the heavens with a loud scream. The birds in the field all flew off in a flurry of feathers. The trees echoed my angry cry afterwards. "Why! Why has the world, in which you created Lord, come so much towards being stuck in the mind of such sinful things! Why must it be that many seek sex more than they seek true love! Why has it been such a trial to figure out if she could be the one, only to be ended with more heartbreak! WHY!" I grabbed my sword from its sheath and felt anger take over my body. I screamed into a rage that should always never come. I attacked the trees, making one by one fall to the ground, cutting down the protectors of the meadow. I yelled as I attacked one after the other, cutting and slicing them into large pieces. There were more trees after I cut down the first row, and after the second. My scales were burning red, and my body felt like fire. The last time I felt like this was when I fought my uncle and he was killed shortly after. I ran to another group of trees on the opposite side of the meadow, when it felt like a large rock tripped me, forcing me to fall into the pond in the middle. As I sat in the water, the water began to boil as was my blood.

I screamed again, and fell to a sad cry. I cried and cried. I just wanted it all to go away, to end all this suffering, to end the madness on this world. I wanted to destroy everything. I was about to get up when I felt something keep me down in the water, the feeling gave me peace, allowing me to calm down a little. That is when I remembered a Bible verse, from a picture of a cat, walking between two rows of vicious looking dogs. 'Yea as I walked through the valley of shadow and death, thou ar't with me.' I finally broke out in a mournful sob, sobbing with the comforting feeling on my back. It felt as if I was crying with God. I let it all out, And asked for forgiveness from him for destroying his sacred meadow I felt a cool but warm loving touch on my back and smiled, "you truly are the one that can forgive anything, are you not?" I did a light chuckle, and then turned into a laugh. I started laughing, as if I was being tickled. But I stopped when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. When I looked, it was Lania. "Why is she here?" I said in a sour voice. "How is she here? How did she know about this place?" I began thinking.

I looked at her face in the distance; she was crying and looked somewhat scared. I looked around; at the damage I had done to this wonderful place, and too started to cry. I put my head into my hands and mourned over what I had done. I do not think she noticed that I was here because she kept walking towards the pond, looking all over at the damage. She stopped at the pond and finally saw me. She looked frightened to see me here, and she spoke up. "How did you know about this place? And why did you destroy the forest?" "How did I know of it? How did you? I have been coming here to think ever since I first moved to this land. The reason I stayed near the village in this forest, is because of this place." I said back to her. "And... the reason was anger... I was so angry after you said that to me. Now I am not sure what love is anymore." I said as I slumped down and placed my left hand under my chin. "Love? Is that what that feeling was? Love? Is that why you were acting like that? Because, you loved me?" she asked. "It is never easy, is it?" I said to myself. I sighed and looked up to her, talking in a more gentle tone now. "Yes." I shook my head. "Yes, I thought I did, I thought you did. But now I don't know what to think." "I did not know what that feeling was. I thought it was just another one of those feeling you get when you want to get in bed with someone, but... that was love you say?" she asked in a unknowing tone.

"Did it feel not like all the other feelings you have had before? Did it feel like it was just us and nothing else in the world could get us apart? Was it a feeling from the heart?" I asked her. "Yes. Yes and yes!" she replied eagerly. "Well that is the kind of way love feels for me. But it is different to others." "But that is what I felt! I felt Love! Weeee!!!" she sang as she started dancing. "Did feel love. But I do not anymore." She stopped dancing and looked down at me with a look of curiosity. "What do you mean 'did feel love?' do you not love me?" "Again" I told her, "I am not very sure if that is what love is anymore." "Well... can we start over?" she said in an uppity mood. I looked at her with a puzzled look on my face. I looked down and thought about it. "Why would she want too... wait, was she now asking me to be with her?" I looked back up to Lania and asked, "Why would you want to be with me?" "Well... she said as she pranced over to me. She sat in the water next to me very close and said. "Because you are the one who taught me to love and not mean it sexually." She then kissed my cheek after the sentence. I rubbed my cheek feeling where she kissed me. "Well..." I thought hard about it. I looked over to her and she had puppy dog eyes. "Please?" she asked in a whimper like tone with a hint of happiness. I chuckled at the face she made and finally said, "Alright. Why not."

I am not sure what happened. All I knew is that was closing my eyes and covering my ears when I heard a high pitched squeal. I looked over towards where Lania was sitting a moment ago, and now she was gone. I looked around, trying to figure out where she went, and finally saw her dancing around singing. I laughed and got up to join her, we started dancing together like a waltz, but at a much faster pace. We were hopping around together, around the stumps and the fallen trees, over the trees and under the half fallen. I could not take my eyes off of her. And I don't think she could have taken hers off of mine, because we both stared at each other laughing and dancing around. Not even looking to where we were dancing. Occasionally we would bump into a tree, but we just kept dancing. Lania jumped up on top of a stump and spun, so I twirled her and she jumped down on top of me. We landed on the ground and laughed. She came close to me, and I came close to her, and we kissed again. This time it was for real. This time, it will not go astray. This time, we are truly, in love.

We must have laid there for a while, hugging, laughing, giggling and kissing, because when we stopped the sun had already fully set. I looked up to her; she had the biggest smile I had ever seen with a pink blush. She giggled as I tried to get up. "You do know that it is getting quite late." I said to her. "Ya, so?" she replied back. I tried to push her off of me, but she was latched onto me. I shrugged. "Okay then, if you don't want to get off." I said as I got up. I stood there, Lania clutching onto me. She had large eyes, and looked around, amazed that I stood there with her still on me, and not even swaying to keep my balance. "Shall we go?" I said looking down to her and smiling, she snuggled into my chest and laughed, "Fine. I guess so." So I began walking back out of the wrecked meadow, climbing over many broken pieces of trees of different sizes, many as large as my home cabin. We got to the entrance to the tunnel and walked through it, occasionally lowering myself because of the lower ceiling stalactites. It was dark in the tunnel, but my eyes quickly turn to night sight, so I went on.

We exited the tunnel and the sun was gone, and darkness had filled the sky. I looked up to the sky, seeing a few shooting stars and motioned Lania to look upward as well. Her eyes got bright with a hint of amazement as she watched the sky. Hundreds of little streaks flew by in the atmosphere above. "It reminds me of a human new year's night, when they launch exploding rockets into the air to amaze themselves." Lania looked up to me perplexed. "Humans make those?" I chuckled, "No, no, no, of course not. Those are meteors, bouncing off of the atmosphere of the planet. I explained the story of how a shooting star comes about. We sat there for a little while, marveling the streams of light cross the sky. I sat down and watched them go by, with Lania still clinging onto me, but looked up with her mouth wide open, and her eyes filled with awe. "Its, beautiful" Lania said with other oohs and awes. I looked to her, raised my hand to her face and pushed a piece of hair away from it, back to the rear of her head. "You, my dear, are beautiful" I said to her