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So here is the second last chapter of Werewulf. If you read my last journal you know what i mean haha but if you didnt and you read this little topthing im only writing one mpore chapter of Werewulf but im continuing with theses characters in a different book at a latter date :) so enjoy! this one is a bit trippy, but i hope you all understand what im trying to get at! it was genuionly fun to write and i hope you guys enjoy it :)

Chapter 25

Hanging on to life itself by a cusp of neural activity was an experience beyond explanation. Kyle left his aquatic crypt and entered a place of pure existence. There was no need for words or thoughts, ideas themselves were the point here. An empty space of colour and lack thereof, pain and pleasure, sounds and tastes. Yet it was all the same, everything blended into his being as one. Here, in the ethereal, he tasted the finest sounds without a mouth or tongue, heard pain without skin or ears, felt colour, saw the iron like taste of blood; all of it without a sense of form or being.

Here he simply existed.

It was calm in the afterlife. Here he was not rushed or pressured. His experience with the one called Danny was a fleeting memory, the pain of the living, just as evanescent. Yet they were a part of him. Kyle was here as he was in the physical world; a collection of experiences. He recalled all his collective memories, felt all the feelings, watched them all simultaneously yet had a personal moment with each. He was with Quinn on the first day of school, his dad was driving them in, he was at his mother's side at his dad's funeral, he was running from Duke, he was a child again, he was failing a test, he was working on a paper, he was swinging a baseball bat and he was in the afterlife all at once and he was just as completely enthralled with each. There was nothing but his life to see instantaneously.

The thing with instant though, was the emptiness after. In that one moment he had done it all, seen it all, recalled everything. He had kissed Duke and felt the longing, but it was gone now. He had felt that and it was done. Now he was alone in darkness.

After another moment though even that solitude proved to be false. There was no one else there except him, but he was left with every part of himself; each part owning its own distinct voice in the shadows of death. They rattled off in no particular order one after another. This was not instantaneous and in this case he was not allowed to feel except what was 'speaking'.

When Fear 'spoke,' showing him images of his mother's condition and Duke chasing him through the woods, Kyle could not help but to be afraid as there was no other feeling offering itself to him in his mind. Courage was next, starting with a day spent in the ocean with his dad, he had been so afraid to jump in; and ending with his yelling at Duke in the park and Danny in the school. Looking back on the last two, courage seemed more like stupidity, but that thought didn't linger in this existence of experience. That thought, like every other, joined the great collection of ideas that span around waiting their turn to be presented in full.

But something wasn't right. The boy had no need for identity here, no need to separate himself from the rest because everything after death was all him, but something was off about it. Hidden in the storm of thoughts and feelings was an identity; a separate one. Layered beneath everything else was an essence all its own that Kyle could not, in all of his self-centred omnipotence, remember ever feeling. The moment he sensed this all of his curiosities separated from the mass. They showed him everything, most of the memories being of childhood wonderment, the string ending...here.

For the first time in the void Kyle had his own feeling that wasn't a relived one. With that realization Kyle felt himself, he felt separate and human. He achieved form. Kyle was now standing in the nothing, atop nothing with his body. He looked around with his eyes that now only took in sight to see darkness and a swirling mass that was his every thought in life. It spun in a shimmery mist above him resembling a school of fish in the sea that avoided hungry predators in numbers. There was a thin strand of the mist connecting him to the collection above his head, this way he still felt everything.

Kyle was amazed at how much control he had as he stretched and flexed his mind, and being outside his perceived self. There was a moment when every mist particle containing 'wonderment' flowed down the connection and into him. It was a feeling that didn't have a word, a purer sense of being complete that satiating hunger, and yet resembled a meeting with an old friend after a long time. Kyle felt more whole but the intensity was well beyond, yet far from...completion. He craved more.

With that craving came the completion of lust and pleasure. They flowed down and entered his core. He was becoming more of himself, but he wasn't quite there. There was still something deep in the cloud that wasn't supposed to be there, the trigger to this whole feeling of identity. He needed to find it.

Greed came next, then doubt when the cloud seemed no smaller than before. Rage with the difficulty and the elongated process of discovery was followed by calm and patience. Memories too flowed down, he recalled the seven deadly sin and the seven holy virtues, all of those soon massed together above and catapulted down in great force. He was becoming more human, but something wasn't right. He could see, but he couldn't quite...sense.

All it took was that thought, like a trigger word for his other senses to descend into him. Touch, smell, taste and hearing entered him. He could smell something but he wasn't quite sure what it was, he just heard a muffed sound beyond a roar that cancelled all else but wasn't exactly loud, tasted dirt and felt a little pressure on his being.

Still the globe above him hung almost unaffected by his memories and feelings. He felt his tongue in his mouth and moved it around a bit experimentally "What are you?" he wondered aloud. There was still the vast majority of himself. If he wasn't mostly feelings and memories what was he?

Something broke free from the mass above, but this time it did not flow down the connection and into him. Scenery broke free and planted itself in the space. Kyle felt cold stones under his feet and the chill air of the night but was not really cold. He heard the sounds of the forest and took in fresh air. The space had been transformed to the pond where Danny had taken him, but no one was around and it was night time. Stars beamed down all too clearly for a town so close to a major city. It was too beautiful and unaffected by light pollution to be real. The cloud of himself never stopped floating, but when he desired to too see the sky the mass had become transparent, allowing him to see through.

Kyle looked down to the field where the mass that broke away hovered like a ghost just above the ground. The floating substance was foreign; Kyle could not feel it even though it too was still connected to the cloud above by a similar cord of mist. Kyle was curious, anxious and afraid again, the confidence he achieved in Death's all-knowing embrace was gone.

Then Kyle felt a bridge between the foreign entity and he. It was, like everything else, an extension of himself, here in the now filled void of death. But it was almost as if he had not opened the bridge to it, but it to him. The cloud was separate; it pried into his head with a strangely familiar touch. His kind felt invaded and he could not do a thing to stop it.

'Help,'

It was another voice absent of an accompanying memory. This was new, even after death this was new. How could that be? How could he be displaying something of himself he had no memory of; forgotten, repressed or otherwise? It simply did not make sense. "Who are you?" Kyle asked the mist, his voice seemed booming and distant all at once; a scream and a whisper voiced over and echoing in the spectral field of his imagination.

'Help,' the voice pressed again, 'Please.'

"I don't understand," Kyle began, but realizing that was less than unhelpful to one crying out for help he tried to think of more. "What do you need? I don't..." It was frustrating. What kind of help could a cloud need? He wasn't sure where to start a conversation with wisps of water vapour.

The foreign spectre seemed to understand the boy's confusion and an arm stretched out from the preciously formless mass. It did not startle Kyle nor make him afraid, truly what was there to fear after death? The single arm was accompanied soon by it's pair, then a head and body, the new form flopping unceremoniously into the grass. There was only the body, no more mist aside from the umbilical cord-esque tether to the collection above.

"Help," the form whimpered from the ground.

Kyle approached slowly, despite a lack of fear he was still apprehensive about the Other. His feet crunched the grass and he was bombarded with the smell of a fresh cut lawn. Instantaneous recollection was an interesting thing. No sooner did he encounter any reason to remember a lawn, than he was displayed everything having to do with it. It was like a broad search into Google that yielded a billion and a half results.

It was kind of cool witnessing the construction of memories. No sooner did Kyle note the form was without clothes, did more mist form and ascend into the greater mass. The naked form on the earth before him was also starved and weak; Kyle could easily count its ribs from a distance and see the effort put into each breath, "Help..." It tried again.

"I don't know how to help you, what's wrong with you?" Kyle asked again, a bit annoyed.

To his right a laughter broke out that cut through the silence like a knife. Kyle flinched and faced the source of the startlingly harsh sound. In the middle of the field was an enormous mirror. It's intricate gold outline glistened magnificently despite the lack of sun in the constructed realm; the out-of-place-ness of its majesty drew Kyle too it despite the Other on the ground. In the mirror, as one would expect, Kyle saw his reflection.

"Who's there?" Kyle called, a bit peeved that death could be so annoying and full of surprises; wasn't he just supposed to blink out or go to Heaven or Hell of something?

"I am..." the ghastly form behind him managed.

"So are you." A voice stated from behind the mirror, "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, that was just incredibly funny...Irony can be a bitch."

"What irony...can't you just let me die?" Kyle sighed.

"So quick to give up on life Kyle? I'd hoped you were stronger than that," the Voice chided.

"I'm already dead at the bottom of a pond, this is just my imagination," Kyle spat, "And who are you?" Kyle thought for a moment in the silence that followed. Who could there possibly be after life to talk down to him? "Certainly not Death... the Grim Reaper can't be real..." he growled a bit, "Stop hiding!"

Kyle watched his reflection burst into laughter and stumbled back. "Haha, I could never hide from you Kyle," the form stepped out of the mirror, "Not here, not anymore anyway." His doppelganger shrugged but smiled, "You have finally woken up."

The mirror disappeared but the copy still stood where It had paused.

"Help me..."

Kyle looked back to the other form on the ground, his head was spinning and he closed his eyes wishing it all away. Maybe like when the scenery formed wishing it all away would be enough to make it happen.

No such luck, he opened his eyes to the same crazy scenario.

"Help..."

"I don't know how!" Kyle yelled at the sad being in the grass, his outburst making it whimper more, "You!" he pointed at what once was a mere reflection, "What's going on?! Tell me!" As he was a few moments ago in life, Kyle was helpless again. He was at a disadvantage he hated being at: being unaware of the situation he was in.

The one being addressed shrugged, "Umm...well...hell where to start with this..." he pondered aloud, scratching his head, "Umm...well for starters you aren't really dead dead; at least not in the way you think."

Kyle waited as the reflection left that hanging. What was he supposed to get out of that? "What do you mean? You left that there like it was some big revelation. Am I dead or aren't I?"

The copycat Kyle shrugged, "Kinda both really." He did anything but clarify, "It's death but you aren't really gone." He stopped "Okay, let's try again," he sat down in a chair Kyle had not noticed. "You died but you were re-born. Is that better?"

Kyle scrunched up his face in some confusion, arms folded over his chest, "How does that happen?" he asked. This guy was not making any sense at all, "Why would any part of me carry a God complex? You saying I'm Jesus?"

The Copy laughed, "Oh no, nothing so grand and reverent. Don't worry about the bigger details just yet, do you understand the re-born thing?" His reflection asked. "That's key to this. No point in explaining a concept you don't fundamentally understand now is there?"

Kyle stood there a bit dumbfounded. He wasn't sure what to make of this at all. "I understand re-birth but...what am I being...like a past life kind of thing? Am I going to come or go or whatever back to earth as like a cat or a tree or something? Was Hinduism right after all this time?"

Other Kyle gave Kyle a look like he was completely retarded, "What? No! I mean...I don't know! Okay...you died but, in the same body and with the same everything, you will come back! Except this time I'm here with yah." He beamed. "I don't think you will understand until you wake up though. We have to discuss something very important though before that happens..." he interlocked his hands in front of his face, "I'm not completed."

Kyle needed to sit down, and just like that there was a chair. But the two who could manage more than a plea for help needed to talk, so they were now seated closer and at a table. The mind was a near place in the raw and imposing itself directly, "Okay...I still don't get the big concept..."

"Kyle. Okay just listen for a second," the Copy groaned, "You didn't die at the bottom of the pond okay? You died when Danny cut you and broke you." He sat up and motioned with his hands, "For the tiniest fraction of a second your heart ceased pumping and you died. That's when I came in and luckily for you did some serious healing." He poked Kyle in the chest, "But...you should have changed...There really isn't a good way of putting this to you Kyle but...well, you're a werewolf like Danny now."

Kyle swallowed and slowly looked down at his hands. That couldn't be true. Monsters and things like that didn't actually happen, they were just in movies and books...and nightmares. This had to be a nightmare, all of it after Danny made him loose so much blood! He was just hallucinating...that had to be it...an anaemia induced nightmare.

"That's not possible," Kyle shook his head, "He...he didn't bite me...he wasn't even real. Danny just got some of the guys together and beat me and killed me and now," he laughed, "I'm just dreaming." He held his arms up, "Shit like this or that doesn't happen you idiot!" He raised his voice at himself, "You are just making it all up!"

"Why so defensive? Are you just trying to hide?"

"You should know!" Kyle burst out, "If you are part of my head and me then you should know exactly what I'm doing! Thinking! All of it, you should know all of it!" The forest started to fragment away as Kyle stood from the table, "Please...just let me die...let all the pain go away..."

"Help me!" The voice boomed now behind Kyle, a frosty wind erupting from the source and chilling Kyle to the bone. He turned to see that when he had looked away, the constructed pond had collapsed into a black space. The darkness crawled out from the void in angry tendrils, grabbing at what remained of the pond and dragging it in. Out in the middle of the darkness, holding an arm outstretched, was yet another Kyle.

"Help me help myself..."

Kyle soon realized that he was no longer cold, but blissfully numb. It was a strange comfort... He could sense nothing at all there, a simple line drawn where he stopped feeling.

"Kyle don't..." The one that came from the mirror stated. "You are stronger than that thing now. Better. You don't have to give up and die anymore!"

For some reason all that came from Kyle's mouth was the simple question, "Thing?"

He tried to focus. Something about the 'Thing' was making it hard to think about anything at all. It was like when he first thought he died and he just floated...peaceful and quiet... comfortably numb. He started letting the darkness seep in, the tendrils sapping all of the pain away; all the stress and worries. Kyle wanted peace...His life was too full of worries in such a small extent of time.

He wasn't thinking about his mother with the darkness. He wasn't thinking about Scott or the beatings. He wasn't thinking about Danny or monsters. He wasn't thinking about Duke. He wasn't thinking...and it was nice. Still something was wrong. Kyle couldn't shake the feeling that this was somehow bad, but then that dissipated. Fear took over and for a moment he tried to call the reflection for help. Then the numbness erased the fear and Kyle fell asleep, absent of a single care in the world.

Death was kind. Death was a paradise eternal, a place of no conflict or worry.

~~~~

"Jump!" Duke's uncle called out, the younger wolf obeying and narrowly avoided being tackled from behind by the larger wolf. Uncle Tom took Danny to the ground at last, his superior strength pinning the rebellious and broken Beta to the earth. Still Danny struggled and after a battle lasting but a minute Danny was finally subdued.

Duke charged at the water's surface and leapt a solid twenty five yards into the already broken inky back mirror. Danny had put up a fight, but with his recent strains, and the stress of combat his lackeys had fled unceremoniously, one actually wet himself at the site of the three wolves. Danny had followed Duke into the pond and dragged him out as to keep Kyle under, but after a quick brawl on land it was apparent Danny refused to run with his plan already so far in, and he could not win against two superior werewolves.

The battle was quick, but Duke was in a panic. He swam down as fast as he could and slashed clean through the little human's binds. He was not releasing air bubbles like before but Duke sensed life, his mind was still intact; regardless it was not a sign that he had time to spare. He brought his soon to be Mate to land and immediately changed back into a human.

"Kyle!" he shouted as if the call would bring him back. Duke stripped the unconscious boy to the waist and tried what little he knew of CPR. He had to push on the lungs or something and ...not a real kiss but breaths and... "Damn it! Uncle Tom what do I do!"

'Take Danny, I'll save Kyle,'

_ _

"Just share the information! Like before! Hurry he doesn't have a lot of time!" Duke started to tear up. His human was so pale and cold.

'You know I can't open up like that to a human. Duke. Just calm down and think about it, I can do it and you can do this.' He referred to Danny, 'Just change back and get over here.'

Duke hated that his uncle was right, but he obeyed. He didn't want to waste time with thinking about it while Kyle was getting closer to death. In a flash he was on top of Danny, a low menacing growl leaving his maw.

'Duke...' _Danny tried, the aura of sadness emanating from him, _'Duke...please don't do this...I love you.'

'Shut up. You don't...' Duke sighed. This was his entire fault. If he wasn't such a rebel and had kept a lower profile, Danny might not have needed to be this way, 'Just shut up.'

'Duke please.'

'I said be quiet.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Shut up!'

'It's all my fault that you're so upset and it makes me sick.'

_'Stop talking!' _Duke tightened his grip on Danny's throat as if it would stop the mental communication. Then Duke heard a gagging sound and a splash behind him. His heart fluttered and he turned to see Kyle, still unconscious, flopped over his uncle's arm and heaving water into the grass.

_'So he lives anyway,' _Danny sighed, his entire being just giving up and falling limp in Duke's grip. The sensation was so completely and entirely depressing it drew Duke away from Kyle. His broken plaything sat there crying under his being.

'Danny...'

'Duke don't you pity me!' _Danny snarled in tears. '_You did this to me! Don't you fucking pity me!'

_ _

The aggression caught Duke off guard. Danny had never been cruel around Duke, not once in his entire life, human or wolf.

'I want you to look me in the eyes right now Duke. Look at me and kill me.'

Duke froze, he knew it had to be done of course, but for it to be demanded from the soon to be deceased was a bit off-putting.

'I don't want to be like this anymore Duke; always chasing you and trying to eliminate my competition, I'm sick of living like this.'

Duke's mind wondered for the first time if there was a way to reverse the effects of pheromones. Kyle had weaned off, so why was Danny still as addicted as ever?

'Duke don't think that way, I don't want to be saved.' _ Danny assured him with a sad grin, '_Do you have any idea what I would have to live with? I murdered my grandparents and all those people...the things I've done and seen... If you have any mercy please...use it.'

Danny transformed back into a human under Duke's paw. He was defenceless; naked in all meanings of the word.

'Duke I'll do it.' His uncle informed him, carrying Kyle over like a newborn. Duke looked up at the pity in his Uncle's eyes. He had been to war, those were the eyes of one who was guilty, but knew he could kill. It terrified Duke but...didn't he owe it to Danny?

"No!" the boy shrieked angrily at Uncle Tom, "I want him to do it you stupid shit! I want him to feel sorry for what he did! I want him to remember what the hell he did to me!" His tears streamed angry down his face, catching all of the dirt and running the black stains down his face, "What-what his fucking mistake made me do..."

'Duke?' His uncle questioned into his mind, beyond Danny' reach in human form, 'What do you want to do?'

Duke's mind was all a clutter, he wasn't even sure if he could manage to think straight enough to answer.

Duke heard what his uncle communicated next with Danny.

'Danny, Duke didn't do anything to you, it was all me.'

"Bullshit, you're just trying to cover it up! You don't want your precious Nephew to live with his mistake like you do you murderer! Stop trying to help him! He's a selfish, no good, immature asshole who doesn't think about how he fucks with others' lives! Dying and giving Kyle to you is worse than death for that kid! I was trying to save him and you ruined it! When will you figure it out!" Danny spat, and started sobbing.

'Any last words beyond that?' Duke's uncle asked.

"Take a message for me?" Danny asked, "Apologize to Kyle for me. Tell him I tried to slit his throat and end it quick."

Duke felt his uncle shove him off the human. It all happened so fast. Duke blinking in the moment cut off his view of the lightning fast, rock hard fist his uncle launched into Danny's frail human skull. A skull crushing death was the most instantaneous and terrifying death Duke had ever sensed. Danny was there, his aura was angry and sad and confused, and it populated the entire space. Then it was gone, poof, splat. He was there and then he wasn't. Duke had sensed death before, it was normally a slow and waning thing feeling the mind and soul eventually vanish. It was almost peaceful even with the most gruesome mauling's how the mind vanished.

Danny just suddenly and violently stopped.

Duke must have been staring at the mush at the end of Danny's neck because his uncle tilted his head upwards to make him look away.

'Hey, it was a kindness to make it quick. He was suffering.'

'Because of me though...' Duke thought, looking back and once more getting his head tilted away.

'I don't mean to be cold, but think about it later.' His Uncle's stare piercing into Duke 's own eyes, 'I'm not sure if you can feel it, but Kyle is fading.'

Duke turned to the little human body on the ground behind them. His human...his soon to be Mate and pack brother. A sudden terror swept over Duke. 'Uncle what if I break him too...?'

There was a sigh and a huff. 'You don't have time to think about that! He is dying and you are the only one who can save him. Is that real enough? You made a mistake and bad things happened but you can make good too Duke. You put this boy through a lot, you might as well give him a second chance. In the long run he will thank you and... Look. Duke, do you really love this boy?' His uncle questioned.

_'Of course.' _It didn't take Duke more than a moment to answer. Kyle was an incredibly special human being...Duke just hoped he was good enough for him. Duke knew in his heart no matter how much he bragged and talked and tried to be cool he would never deserve Kyle, but maybe Kyle would accept him...

'Than save your boy.'

~~~~

It is only when you start to feel that you realize you that are numb. You need the comparison to prove it. Kyle was in the nothing, slowly falling into a deeper and deeper sleep. His mind was gone, his body was non-applicable and he was as content as a lobotomized vegetable.

But, there was a pesky fly.

In the nothing somehow, in his paradise of worry free sleep, he felt a speck on his shoulder. It was small at first but the comparison of feeling on the absence of feeling completely drew Kyle's attention. Instantly his mind re-formed and little by little he returned. It was a warm speck, and then a spot and an area and then his whole body was enveloped in the warmth. The radiance cut through the black nothing and woke him.

The entire experience was sudden and terrifying. He opened his eyes and saw the darkness fleeing a brilliant light that cradled him in the space. Death just wouldn't come. Before he knew it he was crying. He wanted so much to be worry free, to forget and be numb again.

Even with his eyes closed he saw everything in the omniscience of death. The reflection combatted the Thing in the darkness with Kyle himself slowly emerging from a shadowy cocoon. Words flew off their beings; the very ideas of their construction making themselves known.

In the darkness the thing leaked 'fear' 'weakness' 'rage' 'guilt' 'human' 'death' 'comfort' 'petty' and 'original'. 'KYLE' 'THING' 'HUMAN' 'DEAD'.

In a glowing bolt, the Reflection scattered the words around like fireflies. 'courage' 'strength' 'passion' 'calm' 'peace' 'nature' 'nurture' 'beast' 'universal' 'new'. 'DUKE' 'KYLE' 'WOLF' 'LIFE!'

The two opposites did not actually fight. Upon impact the words and forms got tangled like strings woven into a new fabric. The Darkness disappeared and Kyle was released from the cocoon of numbness.

He felt a hand take his and turn him about until he was in a solid embrace. "Last time I checked," the voice started and something hit Kyle's leg, "You hated being numb anyway."

In his tears Kyle managed a sad grin, "Yeah but that..."

"Shh...I know, I was just teasing," the New Being consoled, "And I can't promise things will be easy when you wake back up. But there is good news now, I'm finally complete," he showed Kyle a bloody and angry gash on his own arm. For some reason it did not seem out of place "You are finally not a piece and a half but two in one and all the same."

"I still don't know what you are talking about...You aren't a monster so it can't...you killed the numbness so I have to live."

"I didn't kill it." The New Being stated simply, "That would have killed you. The Thing was everything you used to be, the reflection was everything you were given by Duke's family...and I'm the new you. Two in one, get it yet?" He smiled. "Kyle I'm you. I've always been you. I'm just an addition. I'm not a monster," he laughed and pulled Kyle away so he could see, "I'm not even angry anymore like I was when I first got here. You calmed me down."

"I don't understand..."

"You will, trust me. Duke will take good care of us and we'll keep him out of trouble." The reflection laughed, "I really do hope you don't hate me." He got serious and started getting brighter. Like someone turned the brightness on a screen up.

"Aren't you me?"

"Yeah but you don't have to like everything about yourself!"

The world of Death started getting blindingly bright...Kyle held a hand over his eyes, "What's happening?!"

"Time to Get up! Welcome to the Pack!"

~~~~

Kyle was thrust into the world of the waking and was, again, bombarded with feeling. His head hurt, his throat was raw, his eyes strung, his chest felt like a brick had struck it and his ears were ringing. His nose burned and cancelled all smell, and his tongue was either inflated or dry.

More importantly his right arm was again on fire and what he saw was a large dark brown wolf gnawing on it. But before he could scream he felt something else. A sixth sense he had never stumbled upon before. IT was so new but so easy to access he wondered how he had ever over looked it. He felt connected with everything; his sight was clearer and his being over all more peaceful.

He recognized the wolf as Duke and that his Doctor was nearby for some reason. There were some birds in the outlying trees that had taken to higher branches with all the noise in case of a need to escape. They were afraid. The grass they had stepped over was hard at work rebuilding. Every ant, in the ground and the air... All nature, and not even just the biological. He felt the wind and how it...whispered? Could he hear it? Everything it touched and how it danced on each leaf. It worked like echolocation or what Kyle had imagined it would be like.

All of it, Kyle felt it all.

Then he screamed in terrible agony as he felt his bones move under his skin and his body change; all that as well as fear. His new best friend was a fucking werewolf...and now so was he...