FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

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Loki had always liked the atmosphere of the city.

Although he had grown up in a small village far away from there, his parents had taken him to Frostmoon every winter so he could learn about the business. Growing up in a family of merchants had given him more advantages than disadvantages, and one of those was that he could rapidly adapt to the fast and chaotic lifestyle of the city, no matter how much people pushed him and shouted at him, no matter how long he were wandering the streets, no matter how much times he thought to himself that he had lost again.

Because, in fact, Loki always got lost. And that day wasn't going to be an exception.

The young lynx snorted for the umpteenth time, as he slowly walked down the streets, as he thought what was he going to do now, how was he going to find any information in such a big city. When he had gone there with his parents, he hadn't moved from their stall. It was easy to get lost if he didn't know more than that, and the nearest surroundings.

But still he had a mission to do, a mission that could not wait to be fulfilled, a vital mission. And that task was in his claws.

Pressing against him the leather bag that hung from his shoulder, which contained the mainspring of that assignment, the lynx tried to think what he could do to find what he was looking for. <<A clue>> he thought, a bit desperate <<. All I need is a clue>>. He squeezed the tourmaline pendant that hung from his neck, trying to infuse some hope in his heart. Although, as much as he would have liked to stop, he would never dare to do it.

After a few hours of futile search, he finally found a bench and decided to be dropped on it, with a sigh of relief. Immediately, he glanced at his feet; he felt the fatigue pain in all the cells of his body and the truth was that he didn't want to continue his way. He just wanted to forget his mission and do as if he didn't know anything but... he knew he couldn't do something like that.

All he needed was a map. Loki sighed, and this time his sight was of resignation. His breath made a lock of hair lifted from his forehead. He was young, about nineteen years old, and he failed to match the typical person who would be destined to be a hero. He was short, slight, not charismatic and not very talkative, almost as shy as a toddler. And that was probably what he would have needed to get out of that situation: to be a little taller, or stronger, to have a more interesting personality or, maybe... maybe just not to be so hopelessly shy. He was painfully aware of his possibilities: the most positive thing that any other Beast would have thought about him was that he could be "cute", due to his slender body, his slanted eyes and his face, more youthful than it should to be. Although he had nineteen years, he seemed to be fourteen, maybe fifteen or even sixteen, but no more; and that was a great difficulty for anyone who wanted to be a hero. Nothing in his fur remembered the dark black, blood red, or snow white fur that heroes usually were told to have. He supposed that he was just... different. And that was the biggest obstacle in his mission right then.

The lynx shook his head, a little depressed. What had the Order's masters thought when they have entrusted his mission? What kind of stupid thought had made them think that he was the Beast who they had been looking for? <<Maybe they were searching someone that didn't attract attention>> he said to himself, trying to make himself feel a bit better <<. Someone that didn't seem to be a hero>>.

Whatever it was, his masters had trusted him, and he couldn't, he shouldn't disappoint them. After all, he had arrived to Frostmoon safe and sound... that was something. And if he didn't try it, he could never say that he had made his best to fulfill his mission.

Resigned, he stood up and started walking down Frostmoon's main street again; but he hadn't even taken three steps when he hit someone bigger than him. He lost balance and was about falling to the ground, but fortunately that didn't happen. Still a bit confused, he glanced apologetically at the Beast he had crashed with.

-Watch where you walk, boy -a big black wolf grunted, annoyed.

Loki thought that, of all the Order lynxes, he was the most luckless.

-I'm sorry... -he mumbled, a bit inhibited by the size of the other Beast -. I was distracted and...

-That is obvious -the black wolf replied, sharply, and them he seem to notice the pendant which hung from the neck of the lynx. Suddenly, his ears perked up and his expression softened a little -. By chance, do you belong to the Kara's Cubs Order?

Loki gulped.

-That's right, sir... I... -the phrase died in his muzzle. He didn't know exactly what to say.

-In that case, I think you could help me -the wolf said, smiling faintly. Loki appreciated that wasn't a very usual gesture -. I was searching for someone like you, do you know?

Something inside Loki jumped joyfully. Maybe his self-esteem.

-Someone like me? -he repeated, tilting his head, what made a lock of hair slipped from his forehead to his temple -. Why?

-I'm told Kara's Cubs Order's members can't lie. That is forbidden for you, isn't it?

-Yes, it is. And if we did so, our punishment would be the silence -Loki murmured, shivering -. We would lose our tongue.

-Well... I think you are definitely the one I was searching for. But... I think I haven't even told you who I am -the wolf said, offering the lynx one of his huge paws -. My name is Rukj. Rukj Jirnagherr.

-Pleased to... to meet you -the smaller Beast mused, shaking paws with the other -. I'm Loki. Loki Farrin.

Rukj nodded in silence, and he gave him a long look, watching the lynx from head to toe. Loki felt strangely shamefaced, and he looked down, wishing the wolf wouldn't see the way he blushed. But after all, what could he do? He was terribly shy, and the wolf's size didn't exactly help.

-You're young -Rukj said. It didn't seem to be a critique, but an important fact -. Have you come to Frostmoon alone?

Loki nodded slowly, not daring to look up. There was something beyond shame that was making him act that way... but that was something that he wouldn't be able to admit... not at that moment, at least... Rukj misinterpreted his silence.

-Is it possible that I have scared you? -he questioned gently, trying not to rattle more the lynx.

-A bit, yes -Loki answered. He finally looked up and stared into the wolf's eyes, that were watching him with curiosity -. I'm sorry... I... I... am not used to...

-You don't have to apologize -Rukj smiled. Again, his smile seemed to be forced. He stood in an awkward silence, like if he didn't know what to say or what to do, until he finally asked-. What about going to a tavern and you telling me what you are looking for in this town? I could help you in exchange of your help.

-That sounds fair -the lynx replied, trying to sound determined in vain.

After all, he still felt a bit afraid. He? With a guy like that, in a tavern, talking about their problems and... drinking? That didn't seem to be a good idea, especially after he gave a new glance to the wolf and discovered for the first time what was making him to feel so inhibited and bashful.

He had to recognize apart from being intimidating... he was attractive.

_ _

Fire.

The fire was everywhere.

It was as if, suddenly, someone had thrown the world to a stake, and now it was burning like a log, carbonizing slowly in the flames. He could hear the fire roar, and the smoke was intoxicating him like a deadly drug, as he tried to escape from that horrible twisted nightmare that trapped him.

It was an odd sensation, to be consumed by fire. Reached a point when the burns didn't ache, and the pain stopped existing condemned to the darkest nooks of his mind...

The one thing that remained was the fear. Fear of flames, fear of all that devastation, fear of... of death, although he knew that death was better than a lonely life, a damned life, an outlaw life. But still fire was more terrifying than that, and in his nightmare he could just think he wanted to escape, to run away from the flames... and the fire laughed around him, creaking and roaring like an ogre, as its red radiance reflected in his desperate pupils...

After fire, the solitude.

And after the solitude...

...the awakening.

The wolf got up sharply, shaking like a leaf, his body drenched in cold sweat. After a few moments, he tried to order his thoughts and to calm down a bit. He also tried to breathe deeply, but his lungs didn't respond well and all he could do was let out a yelp of despair, as he sought the oxygen he needed. Finally, after an eternal seconds, his lungs were again his and he could calm down, breathing slowly and regularly.

After that, he buried his face in his hands and sobbed with anxiety, wondering when those stupid nightmares would let him alone, when the flames would be lost in oblivion... There was something worse than meet with the fire all nights, and it was the fact that he knew that it wasn't just a nightmare. A summer night, a month ago, the flames had broken into his life and had taken away all the people he had loved, leaving him alone in that cruel world...

Trying not to think about it, he looked up and, for the first time since he had awakened, he noticed that something was wrong. He wasn't where he was supposed to be, but in some sort of hut, small and untidy, that didn't look like the filthy refuge where he had been living the last days. Some rough blankets, but strangely comforting, covered him to the waist. Under his back he could feel a hard mattress, but softer than anything he had felt in that last month of his life.

And... in one corner of the hut... an open fire's flames were dancing, as threatening as ever.

The wolf let out a grunt of frustration. Where the hell was he?

Suddenly, the hut's door opened with a crack and someone entered, shivering, and closing the door behind him without losing even a second. His body seemed to be covered by... white fur, maybe, but he couldn't see it better as he had his vision blurred... He tried to focus his eyes and, when he got it, he distinguished the strange features that characterized a race to which, by then, he already knew quite well... the Humans.

At that very moment, all the memories came back to his mind. Humans. The Trackers. The capture. The teasing. The torture. The pain. The unconsciousness.

And then... the rage.

Unable to contain himself, the wolf jumped of the bed towards that little Human that had just come into the hut, willing to kill him. The anger made his blood boil in his veins, and the irony of it all was that just blood could appease it. He really needed to kill that Human, who was the personification of all his misfortune... to recover what fate had robbed him.

However, his attempted murder wasn't very successful. Still weak, he tripped over his own feet and lost balance, and he would have fallen if not for that Human, who reached out just to avoid the wolf gave the greatest thud of his life. When the hairless hands of the Human grabbed him by his shoulder, something strange took place inside him... a completely unknown feeling, which flooded all his soul...

He couldn't think about it for more time.

The Human, unable to hold him longer, put him in the floor, the wolf's back leaning against a wall, and then he walked away slowly. The Beast was not looking at the Human, but he could have sworn that a sharp dagger was shining in his hand. Suddenly, he wanted to mourn, not knowing why. The simple fact of have failed in the only thing that could have given him his life back made it meaningless.

Raon observed him for a few instants, still a bit surprised, as he took off his white fur layer and let it to dry near the fire. Somehow, as he looked the wolf he had the strange impulse to approach him and giving him a hug, to try to comfort him, to tell him there was no reason why he should be afraid, because he was his friend, he was his brother, he was his...

He shook his head, confused.

What kind of thoughts were those? And where were they coming from?

-That was not a good idea -he said, instead of what he had been thinking to say -. You were too weak to try something like that.

-What do you care? -the wolf replied, with a worn voice that sounded like a bark.

Raon kept his eyes fixed on him, while the memory of what he had felt touching him fluttered in his mind. Finally, the Human buried that feeling deep inside of him and returned to his task of place the snow rat that he had just hunted in a crate. The wolf remained in the floor, curled up, not daring to look up.

-I care -Raon continued, trying his voice to sound as friendly as possible -, because if I'd have wanted to kill you, I would have done it while you were sleeping. Or better, I would have left you with the Trackers. They wanted you to became a torch, did you know?

-Go to hell -the wolf mumbled, so low that Raon barely heard him.

There was a tense silence of several minutes.

Opposite the fireplace, Raon tried to recover his body heat while the wolf was on the floor, too proud to mourn, but too weak to avoid it. The Human couldn't help but take a look at his new host from time to time, with that strange feeling of empathy and understanding for the Beast. As if he were the one who was suffering there, in the corner.

-Have you said... you saved me? -the wolf asked, breaking that cold silence.

-Yes -Raon answered, softly, approaching him a little and giving him a critical look -. No one... no one deserves to suffer like that.

The look of the young wolf rose rapidly, and Raon found himself looking at two fascinating emerald green colored eyes, in which shone the threat of tears that still had not been shed.

-No... one? -the wolf repeated, hoarsely -. Not even a Beast? Not even the enemy?

Raon shook his head, slightly disgusted.

-Beasts are not my enemies -he said, simply -. I don't know what makes you think that way.

-Common sense -the wolf replied, still with that beautiful look fixed in Raon's eyes -. The vast majority of Humans would want to see all Beasts burning in a pyre, do you know? But you... you look different.

Raon smiled shyly and looked away, unable to keep his eyes in that disturbing look.

-My name is Raon -he said, after a few moments -. I was raised by a wolf, Rukj Jirnagherr, and I've lived all my life with him. That's why I don't fear nor hate the Beasts.

The young wolf nodded, in silence.

-I'm Jarek -he introduced, finally -. I... I'm sorry for having attacked you that way... I think that I've precipitate.

-Oh, don't worry about that -Raon tried to excuse him -. Jarek... I think it's a beautiful name.

Immediately, he felt stupid for having said that silliness, and a slight blush covered his cheeks. He didn't knew what that was due to, because there was nothing wrong with telling someone his name was beautiful, right? Furthermore, why should he felt an ounce of shame? In any case, that shame disappeared when he heard what the wolf told him next, with a hint mockery in his voice:

-I know it is. Yours isn't.

-What?

-Never mind -the wolf responded, drawing on his face what seemed to be an attempt to smile -. Still, I'm glad I found you, Raon. I've always wanted to meet a deserter.

-Technically, I'm not a deserter, because I've never known that which I have given up to. Nobody gave me a choice -the Human theorized, frowning -. But yes, I suppose at least I'm not an ordinary Human.

Jarek gave him a long look, still smiling, and after that he crawled into his bunk, which he lay on after an instants of an insufferable effort and some grunts of fatigue. Raon wanted to help him, but he finally thought that it was better not to do anything, because the wolf seemed to be able to do it by himself. Perhaps the more appropriate would have been to help, but he still tried to disobey that stupid strange voice inside him, which told him to take care of the wolf.

-So, what now? -Jarek asked, finally, once he had recovered his breath -. I guess you won't let me stay here forever, will you?

-It depends.

-On what?

-On several things -Raon answered, tilting his head -. First, it depends on if you have a place to live in or not.

-I haven't -the wolf replied, squinting, while an expression of sadness came to his face like a cloud's shadow -. I had it, but now... I haven't.

Raon noticed his sadness and was about to ask, but he finally thought that probably it wasn't a good idea. <<You ask too much>> Rukj's voice said on his mind. He couldn't help but smile.

-And, second -the Human continued, trying to ignore the mysterious answer of the wolf and burying all the questions that it had awakened -, I will have to ask Rukj. After all, this is his hut.

Jarek looked up, with curiosity.

-And where is that Rukj, pray? -he growled, after a few seconds.

Raon didn't respond.

Silently, he sent a thought to where the wolf was, wishing him to come back soon. Perhaps his foster-father might help him to sort the strange feelings that clouded his soul.

They made him feel unknown to himself.

-It happened a couple of weeks ago -Loki started, looking down and lowering the tone of his voice, as if afraid that someone might be listening -. The news flew fast from neighborhood to neighborhood... I'm surprised you haven't heard about it.

And, said that, he looked hesitant to Rukj.

-I've not heard anything -the wolf responded, as he took the jug of mead that the landlord had just served him, shrugging -. I'm not the most... attentive Beast to news of the interior.

Loki tilted his head, but he didn't say anything. Despite of the timidity which still retained his words, the wolf had asked him for help, and he, as a member of the Kara's Cubs Order, couldn't refuse.

-I think it was... some kind of scandal. Someone discovered that a Human had been living for years in the house of a wealthy family -Loki noticed the sudden change in Rukj's face -. Yes. A concentration of Beasts gathered around the house. There was a lot of shouts, arguments and fights... Finally, the members of the aforementioned family tried to calm the crowd, while the Human entered again to the house. But all they did was in vain.

A shadow of sadness crossed Rukj's look.

-And what happened? -the wolf asked hoarsely, sensing the end of the story.

-They rounded up the family, locked them inside the building and barred the door. Then they made a pyre in one of the walls... and they lit it -the young lynx told him, sorrowful -. The... the house burned down in just a few minutes. To our knowledge, no one survived. Although, who could tell? The fire leaves only ashes, and ashes are gone with the wind.

Rukj nodded grimly, trying to assimilate what he had just heard. Could it be that the wolf who he and Raon had taken in his hut had been raised by a family... like him? Defenders of the Humans? Traitors to their own race? Rukj decided not to think about that for no false hopes clouding his mind.

However, one thing was for sure: that Frostmoon had changed a lot in the fourteen years he had been away. Concerned about the possibility that someone recognized him as the one who years ago had given shelter to a Human, he tried to hide in the shadows of the corner they were situated. His black fur helped him to merge with the darkness.

-And what does the Kara's Cubs Order think about this? -he asked, after casting a look of distrust around, before directing the gaze of his deep amber colored eyes to the young lynx.

-Well... the Order isn't as powerful as it was in the past -Loki sighed, looking down -. We couldn't do anything about it. In fact, we can't do anything yet. The hate between Humans and Beasts is too ingrained in our hearts... we couldn't remove it even if he tried to.

-But you keep trying.

-Yes, of course... when the things run wild... like this time, for example. But we don't do great things: only a few timid speeches or some calls to pacifism... nothing striking enough.

Suddenly the lynx felt frustrated by how little his Order did to help to stop that conflict, which threatened to be endless. And it was assumed that this was the main purpose of the Order: to stop that senseless war between races. However, when he looked up he found Rukj's slight smile, which made him feel better.

-It's good that there are still people who care about this -the wolf mused, with a wave of his paw -. And the Order will reborn someday, sure.

-That's what many fear -Loki sighed. Then he looked again at the black wolf with surprise, perceiving what he hadn't seen due to his shyness -. You... you are not an ordinary wolf.

-What makes you think like that?

-You seem to uphold the Order's doctrines. Sadly, today that is something that only a few do -Loki explained.

Rukj's eyes shone mysteriously.

-Could be. But we are as normal as them, boy. Never think otherwise.

The lynx gave him a long look, with curiosity, but he didn't say anything. He began to sense that there was more behind the tough expression of that wolf than what he had originally seen. He could feel it in his bereaved face, which the wolf was trying to hide in vain. He could sense it in his tension, in the way he looked around second to second, as if he was afraid that someone could find him... There was something wrong... and the wolf, whatever the reason, didn't feel safe in that tavern.

-I hope what I told you to be helpful -he murmured, cautiously, without looking away from the wolf's face, who in that moment was taking another sip of his jug of mead -. It's not much, but I don't know more.

-You told me exactly what I needed to know -Rukj growled to reassure him -. So I suppose I owe you one. What was the help you needed?

Loki blushed, dam of a new wave of shyness. In theory, he shouldn't talk to anyone about his mission... it was too important to risk his success conversing with intriguing wolves, however attractive they were. But, after all, he was lost and hadn't got even a clue. If he wanted to go ahead, he needed to do something. So finally he took courage and, diverting his gaze into the shadows, he started to talk:

-The Order masters gave me... a mission.

-A mission? -Rukj repeated, interested -. That means that finally you decided to do more than a few timid speeches or some calls to pacifism, don't you think?

-Yeah... right... -Loki admitted, shaking his head -. But... I think my mission is not very impressive at all...

-Why?

-Well, because... because they requested the mission... to me -the lynx recognized, blushing again.

Rukj seemed not to understand what Loki meant; at least, for an instant. Finally, his eyes lit and some expression of understanding appeared in his wolfish face.

-C'mon, you shouldn't think that way -he said gently, giving him a pat on the back -. You should be proud your masters chose you, because if they did so... I mean that surely they knew what they were doing, don't you think?

-I hope so -Loki responded, appreciating the gesture of the wolf, while smiling shyly.

-And what is that mission, if I may ask? -Rukj asked, taking again his jug of mead.

Loki was about to answer when he saw, in the tavern's door, the portly figure of three bulls. They were wearing the imposing armors that the Guard members used to wear. And they were looking at them, for some reason. Just at them.

Rukj seemed to notice the lynx had detected something strange, because his paw closed tighter than usual around his jar.

-How many? -he asked, softly, giving another sip.

-Three, I see -Loki responded, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. However, he did his best to conceal that he was watching the guards.

-What are they?

-Bulls.

-Are you sure they come after us? Or are they just looking at here?

-They're coming right for us -the lynx answered, as who must be the leader nodded to the other two to follow him -. I don't know how much time they've been watching us. Maybe a while.

The wolf let out a muttered curse.

-Listen to me, boy. Maybe they come only after me. If they don't pay attention to you, ignore them and pretend you don't know me. Got it?

-But...

-Got it? -Rukj interrupted him, with some fierceness. Loki, intimidated, nodded slowly -. All right. If they're three, the only option I can think of is that someone has made them know I was in here. Who knows, perhaps the landlord.

-Likely -Loki corroborated, gulping.

-How do you know?

-One of the bulls has given the landlord a small sack... that will surely be full of gold.

Rukj let out a curse again, louder this time.

The bulls came quickly to the table, still incased in their magnificent armors. Loki couldn't help but look down when they arrived, but Rukj continued drinking from his mug naturally. The lynx still didn't know what kind of dark secret or crime the black wolf had committed, but he was pretty sure that this wasn't the first time he had to pretend for avoid being found.

-Rukj Jirnagherr? -one of the bulls asked, with a deep cavernous voice.

Loki stuck his little claws in the table's wood 'til it cracked.

-Yeah? -the big wolf replied, dispassionately.

-Sek Urunna, the Guard's Commissary, would like to talk with you in Frostmoon's Headquarters. Follow us.

Rukj weighed his options, balancing the jug lightly.

He couldn't face three bulls; that was something that even the crazy's craziest would have qualified as suicide. No, there was no way to defeat them, and, it seemed, also no way to escape. He had to admit that this time... they had caught him.

-Agreed -he responded, surprising Loki, who gave him an impressed glance -. Take me to commissary Sek, if that's what you want. I won't resist.

The bulls exchanged a brief glance and nodded in silence. Then the one who was supposed to be the leader pointed the young lynx, and said:

-He should also come with us.

Rukj stiffened.

-That can't be possible -he replied, trying to keep calm, although he let out a low growl -. He has nothing to do with me.

-It doesn't matter. Commissary Sek wants to talk to him too, because every Beast related to an outlaw is an outlaw too.

In that moment, the light grew in Loki's mind. Of course! Rukj Jirnagherr! How he hadn't noticed before? He should have remembered that name...! Although, of course, when that happened, he was too young to remember anything...

Rukj Jirnagherr. One of the first deserters in Beasts' side, tired of a war that nobody was going to win. Rukj, considered an outlaw in Frostmoon, city of which he had been expelled. Rukj, who as a teenager had killed hundreds of humans, but finally had decided to be their staunch defender. For any member of Kara's Cubs Order, Rukj was a role model. Loki felt a great wave of admiration, which added what he already felt before.

-Take me to Sek -Rukj said, a bit annoyed -, but let the lynx alone. He hasn't done anything wrong.

-You can't decide that, outlaw. You and your friend are coming with us. Now.

Loki, who had been following the wolf's moves, guessed what was going to happen even before it happened.

Rukj let out a roar of anger that seemed to come out from the depths of his chest, and he lunged for the nearest bull, hitting him in the head with his jug of mead. The jar was broken into pieces, and the tavern was filled with murmurs and whispers, but the bull just wobbled a bit, shocked. Then one of the bull's partners took an iron mace and tried to hit Rukj with it; the wolf ducked in time, but he forgot that the other bull's partner was behind him.

Immediately, another iron mace hit him hard in his head.

He had no time to feel the pain before a deep and dark unconsciousness swallowed him...