FSE

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Chapter 13

Harvy stared at the eggs on her plate with a blank face before looking up at her smiling mother. "Um...I don't think I'm very hungry mom..." The older wolf rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you're THAT nervous honey?" Harvy gulped and nodded sheepishly. The older wolf wrapped her daughter in a quick loving hug. "Sweety, you'll be just fine! You and Gar are already as close as can be!" She paused as a lecherous grin slowly spread over her muzzle. "Well maybe not AS CLOSE as you can be..." She said with a suggestive tone. Harvy paled before face pawing with a groan. "Not...helping..." The older wolf smiled apologetically. "Cheer up sweety. It's a bright and shiny monday morning, a fresh start...now go grab that boy and make him YOURS!" She finished with a savage grin. Harvy stared through wide eyes before quickly standing and grabbing her bag. "Uh...thanks for the...wonderful...pep talk mom but I'm gonna' be late so uh...bye..." With that she bolted for the door. The older wolf smiled cheerfully. "Bye bye honey! Have a nice day! Oh and show some cleavage! Use what momma' gave you!" The younger wolf tripped and collided with the door. "MOM!"

Gar was unusually happy this particular monday morning. Namely because his favorite wolf would be returning to school today. His grin widened as he thought of Harvy. He could hardly believe he once survived in this desolate desert town without her. He truly couldn't imagine life without the cheerful, sweet young wolf now. As he reached Mr. Bright's room and casually lounged against the wall, the subject of his thoughts appeared before him...

Harvy gulped as she spotted Gar in front of Mr. Bright's room. Even something as mundane as greeting him had suddenly become unbearably nerve rackingly awkward now that she'd realized her feelings for him. Her eyes lingered on his well toned chest and stomach which pressed tightly against the form fitting black tank top he wore, before finally coming to a stop when they locked with his. Damn. She was caught in their spell again and she briefly feared she wouldn't be able to escape this time. A look of mild concern crossed Gar's face as he tilted his head in question. That did it. Harvy giggled at the cute display and Gar relaxed a bit. He stepped forward with a warm smile. "Good morning 'Dire Wolf.' Your presence was greatly missed." Harvy blushed as she struggled to answer. "Th-thanks...I uh...r-really missed you too Gar..." A brief look of puzzlement crossed his face but before he could speak the warning bell rang, ushering a wave of students into the classroom. He shrugged and followed suit.

Harvy groaned into her paws as she lay her head on her desk. Dammit Harvy! She thought bitterly. Just talk to him like you normally do! What's the big deal?! She glanced in Gar's direction and noticed him quietly observing her with a look of slight worry. Great! Now I've got him worried about me! He KNOWS something's up now! Gaea this is so frustrating! Why does this have to be so damn hard?! She ceased her mental battle and tried desperately to focus on the assignment before her. She was failing miserably. No matter how hard she tried, all she could think about was how to confess her feelings to Gar. The very thought made her heart beat faster and her stomach feel queasy. Dammit... She thought solemnly. This is going to be a LOT harder than I thought...

The day passed by at an agonizingly slow pace. Harvy marveled at how a single realization could suddenly throw her and Gar's realtionship completely off kilter. Throughout the day she tried and failed miserably to focus on her classwork again and again. It was a useless battle. Her thoughts inevitably always shifted to the bleached raven who had come to mean so very much to her. She had been so preocupied with coming to terms with the fact that she truly was in love with him, that she had completely forgotten about the fear of rejection. It finally came crashing down upon her at full force now that she found herself faced with the reality of the situation. She didn't doubt for a second that Gar cared for her deeply, but did he...love her? She thought she had witnessed a few hints that he might but she couldn't be sure. He was so hard to read... He had spent most of his life isolated from others after all, and endured great pain...she frowned sadly at the thought. Of course it would make sense for him to conceal his true thoughts and feelings given those circumstances.

She shook her head in frustration. She wasn't getting anywhere. She was wasting her time in pointless thought because she was too damn scared to tell him how she felt. Gaea...when did I become such a hopeless coward? She thought bitterly. She was so lost in her internal struggle that she failed to notice the time. She jumped in surprise as the bell rang...the lunch bell... She stared blankly at the clock in numb shock. Dear Gaea it's LUNCH... She thought. I'll be alone with Gar for the next hour... Her heart started to race and she took several deep breaths in an apparently futile effort to calm herself. This was it...now or never. She prayed to Gaea it would be NOW...

Gar glanced at the clock from his place beneath the tree in the courtyard. Slight confusion masked his features. Harvy was running late, far more so than was typical for her. Just as he began to worry he spotted her familiar lithe dark furred form slowly heading towards him. The raven stood with a warm smile on his face. Harvy gulped as she approached her dear friend, mentally willing her nerves to calm down...to no avail. Calm down Harvy... She thought desperaely to herself. This is GAR. He's your BEST friend....who you happen to want to make out with... She shook her head furiously. DAMMIT! Knock it off! Gar quirked a brow at the odd display before taking a step closer to the obviously distressed young wolf. "Harvy? Is all well?" Harvy 'eeped!' in panic as she realized Gar had witnessed her little freak out.

She struggled to sound casual. "O-oh...just f-fine Gar! I'm just a little stressed because of all the make up work I have to deal with that's all!" She trailed off with a nervous laugh and mentally face pawed when she realized just how unconvincing she sounded. Fortunately Gar didn't press it and instead nodded with a sweet smile. "Alright then. Feel free to request my assistance at any time." Harvy gulped, realizing that was most likely 'Gar code' for 'you can tell me what's REALLY wrong when you want to.' A truthful smile graced her features regardless. "Thanks Gar." He smiled sweetly back and Harvy fought off a blush. She quickly set down her bag and took a seat. Gar did the same and Harvy felt her breath catch as she watched his avian grace. She snapped herself out of the trance she'd fallen into, thankfully before the raven could catch her openly staring at him.

An awkward silence fell and Harvy quickly realized she had always been the one to initiate their lunch time conversations. In a slight panic she tried desperately to come up with something to say. She looked up in surprise when Gar spoke instead. "Your presence is a light I have greatly missed..." Her breath caught and a fierce blush quickly seized her. "...Th-thanks Gar...you too...I thought I was going to go crazy without you around..." She froze as panic took hold. CRAP! Had she said too much? Her frenzied thoughts ceased when she spotted Gar's warm smile which she quickly returned. This is the perfect moment! Harvy's thoughts screamed. Just tell him! She opened her muzzle to speak but no words came out. Sighing in frustration, she tried a different tactic. "Um...Gar?" He tilted his head, making her giggle lightly and relax a bit. "...Have you...ever been in love?" The raven stared blankly for a moment and Harvy shifted in discomfort.

Finally he took on a thoughtful expression and spoke. "...Looking back at my life until this point...I would say no...I have not." Harvy took a deep breath and took another bold step forward. "...And...at THIS point in your life?" Her heart raced as she studied the raven's face, desperately searching for a single hint of his feelings. Gar appeared to be in deep thought as if contemplating a life altering decision. Finally he answered. "...I'm not sure..." Her heart sank slightly and her head fell. "...Or..." She looked up with slight hope in her eyes. "...I'm afraid of the true answer..." Harvy nodded in understanding. Of COURSE he would be afraid. He had every right to be after all the pain he'd endured, both physically and emotionally. The brief discussian did little to strengthen Harvy's resolve and much to weaken it as she began to think now would not be the best time to tell Gar her true feelings.

She sighed in sadness and Gar leaned in closer making her heart beat faster. "Something is troubling you 'Dire Wolf'..." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. CRAP. He knows something's way off base now... She thought in a panic. She franticlly racked her brain for something to say. Gar studied her with worry evident on his face. Finally she met his eyes which stared into hers with such intensity she thought she might sucumb to her feelings and kiss him right there. Suppressing that urge she let out a frustrated sigh. "...I've just been...thinking a bit too much Gar...and I'm a little confused..." The worried look remained as he spoke. "Would you allow me to help you?" Harvy felt an ache in her heart as she saw just how much she was worrying him, but she didn't have the courage to tell him the truth...not yet. She looked away briefly. "...Ask me again sometime Gar...I just need to...sort a few things out first..." The raven's ethereal blue eyes lingered for a moment longer before he turned away with a sigh, slight hurt evident in his expression. Harvy's heart ached more, knowing she had done that to him.

She looked up with sad eyes. "I'm sorry Gar...you know I trust you more than anyone...I'm just a little...conflicted...right now." He put on a warm smile and nodded in understanding. "I will always be there to help Harvy." She smiled lovingly back at him. "I know Gar...thank you..." Surrendering to the moment she embraced him in a warm, tender hug, breathing in the scent she loved so much as she absently nuzzled his neck, murring in pleasure as he gently stroked her head fur. The tense atmosphere lifted after that and they ate together in a comfortable silence until the bell sounded. Gar collected his things and stood before helping Harvy up as well. He turned to the wolf before heading off to class. "With a heart of stone one walks alone...With eyes downcast the stone sinks fast...Raise amber eyes to bluer skies...And release the pain with the coming rain..." With that he smiled lovingly, his otherworldly blue eyes locking with her amber. She felt her heart beat loudly within her chest. It beat for him and it always would. After an eternity, sealed within a few seconds, he looked away and headed inside.

Harvy stared after him, frozen in place as his haunting words sunk in. She was startled out of her reverie by a nervous, light feminine voice. "E-excuse me..." The wolf whirled around in surprise coming face to face with a petite looking bluejay girl who stared up at her in slight fear as she 'eeped!' Noticing this, Harvy quickly apologised. "Uh...s-sorry about that...you startled me..." The jay gulped and shook her head. "N-no that's okay...I didn't mean to sneak up on you." Harvy studied the small avian for a moment. "You're a freshman right?" The jay nodded. "Yes. My name is Corrie Trill." She held out a talon in friendly greeting. Staring in momentary confusion, Harvy shook it. The jay seemed to calm down and smiled sweetly. Wow. She's pretty cute. Harvy thought absently as she studied the shy little jay. "Um...Harvy Sellow..." She said in return. The jay quirked a brow at her unusual first name. "Short for Harvest..." The wolf clarified with a sigh.

The little jay nodded in understanding. "Um...sorry to bother you but...you know Edgar With right?" Harvy blinked. "Um...yeah." She eyed the jay warily, the encounter with the bunny girl coming to mind. The jay seemed timid as she continued. "...Not to pry but...um...are you his...mate?" Harvy's face went completely blank as she stared at the blue avian in total shock. Panic seized her as she struggled to respond. "W-what?! No! I mean uh...H-he's my best friend!" The little jay stared curiously through wide eyes before splitting into a wide grin. "...Really?" Harvy nodded. "Um...why do you ask?" The jay blushed and looked away sheepishly. "Oh...uh...you two just seem to be really close and uh...I was worried..." Harvy quirked a brow. "Worried?" The jay nodded. "Y-yeah...because...I think...I think i'm in love with him..." She finished with an intense blush as she nervously rubbed the back of her neck. Harvy blanked. All she could do was stare in shock.

The jay took this oppurtunity to explain herself further. "When I first started school...I heard these really scary rumors about him...they said he was dangerous...and crazy...but...he went out of his way to help me...and I realized just how kind he is...and..." She blushed and looked away again. "...how beautiful he is..." Harvy still stared in shock, almost unable to process this information. The jay stared back in slight worry before the wolf shook her head and forced a response. "I uh...I see..." Seemingly oblivious to the wolf's turmoil, the young jay smiled sweetly. "I wanted to confess to him...but I wanted to be sure you guys weren't...you know...mates or anything..." Harvy nodded dumbly before offering a melancholy response. "Well uh...it was nice to meet you Corrie...but I've got to go..." The jay smiled sweetly again. "Oh! Me too. Well thank you very much! It was nice meeting you Harvy!" With that the love struck bluejay skipped away happily, leaving Harvy in a state of numb shock. "You...too..." She said to the wind...

The wolf numbly walked to her next class. Corrie was going to confess to Gar... So what? She thought angrily. This doesn't change anything! I made up my mind that I was going to tell Gar today...but still... She sighed sadly. Her old doubts were quickly returning. Was she really the best match for Gar or was she just being selfish? Maybe...Gar would be happier with someone like Corrie...someone so sweet and beautiful...someone far closer to his species...a CORVID even...just like him. She shook her head in frustration. Why am I doing this to myself?! She thought bitterly. I keep talking myself in circles! She was begining to doubt she'd ever be able to tell him how she felt... But she HAD to. She tried desperately to swallow her fear. If she didn't do this, she would regret it for the rest of her life. That she knew for certain. Alright. She decided. After school...I'll tell him then...

Harvy seriously thought she might suffer a panic attack as the day went on. She just COULD NOT seem to calm herself down. She was certain she didn't finish ANY of her work that day. Eventually she found herself sitting in last period, her eyes glued to the clock as the final minute counted down. This is it... She thought. ...Ten...Nine...Eight...Seven...Six...Five...Four...Three...Two...One... *RIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!* She felt relief and dread at the same time as she slowly stood on shaky legs. She focused on breathing deeply as she hastily gathered her things. With a final silent prayer she entered the hall and made her way to the front of the building to meet Gar...

Harvy reached the school entrence and took a deep breath before stepping out. She smiled when she spotted Gar leaning against the wall. Then she saw something that made her blood run cold as she froze where she stood... A familiar bluejay was speaking to him...with a wide smile on her face...and Gar was...smiling back... The jay leaned forward and whispered something to the white raven, who began to chuckle as he smiled warmly. Suddenly the world melted away and nothing mattered. Harvy felt moisture on her cheeks...and she ran...she ran without looking back. All she felt was pain...a pain unlike any she had EVER felt before. She ran until her legs failed her, and collapsed to the ground as her tears flowed freely... She should have known...Gaea she should have known! Of course she didn't deserve someone as beautiful as Gar... She couldn't compete with Corrie...she was dainty, cute, pretty, sweet, and an AVIAN... Of course she could never be Gar's...mate...

The world returned to her when she felt a familiar warmth envelop her... Looking up through tear stained eyes she was met by brilliant white plumage. Gar's ethereal blue eyes stared deeply into hers. His face was contorted in deep sadness as he stared pleadingly at her. Harvy looked away, unable to take the intensity of his gaze. She looked around and realized just how far she had ran. They were surrounded by dunes and familiar red stones. Harvy gasped at the memory of the sacred place they now resided. She was pulled from her thoughts by a very familiar light, husky voice in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "...Why did you run?" Her tears flowed once more and she buried her face in his chest. A gentle talon tenderly stroked her head fur as she wept. Finally she raised her head and met his eyes. "...Y-you belong with her..." Gar frowned deeply. "...Corrie?" She just nodded solemnly as her tears continued to flow. A white talon gently lifted her head, bringing her eyes level with his once more. "...She told me she had feelings for me and I told her I was honored..." The wolf shut her eyes tight and tried to look away. The firm but gentle talon held her in place. "...However...I could not return those feelings..."

Her eyes opened wide and she stared at Gar with hope radiating from them. "...Because...while I do fear my emotions...I cannot run away from them...the truth is...I AM in love..." The wolf's breath caught in her throat as the raven leaned in closer, the gap between them quickly vanishing. "...with a 'Dire Wolf'..." His marble white beak slowly parted as his avian tongue darted out to gently lick at the wolf's muzzle. It was soon met with her own, begining a heated and passionate dance. The wolf's heart soared and she briefly wondered if this were all a dream before realizing she truly didn't care. For this single moment all was right. She moaned into the kiss as he pulled her against his chest, magnificent white wings eveloping her trembling form. Eventually they parted, gasping for air as ethereal blue stared deeply into warm amber. "...I love you Harvy...more than I could ever think possible..." The wolf smiled warmly up at the enchanting raven, eyes now sparkling with tears of joy. "...I love you too Gar...I love you so damn much..." Words failed them as they surrendered to their hearts. She melted into his warm embrace as he recaptured her muzzle with his beak...