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The weekend didn't last long. Not nearly long enough. Luke and I went out on Sunday and walked around town. We explored the woods near his home, and we walked down long back roads that wind throughout the countryside all covered in snow. We had a little picnic near a frozen over lake that overlooked the snowy mountaintops far in the distance. If anything I could say that we were on a date almost. As if Luke wanted to make it up to me for hitting me and making me leave. I don't care why though. All that matters is that we get to spend this time together, away from everything else. Away from the houses, and the cars, and all the people. Just me, him, and that beautiful nature.

I think I've gained a new appreciation for nature. I guess coming so close to meeting Death made me want to get closer to life. To all that IS life. All the plants cycling through mitosis to create more life. The push and pull of the sea caused by the glorious moon in orbit. The rise and fall of the life giving sun. I see every little detail of life now. Every knot in a tree, every dune of snow in a field, every rustle of limbs from the wind blowing through. It's almost spiritual I think. This connection to nature. I know it won't last. Like everything else, this spiritual connection will probably dwindle down to almost nothing, but for now it helps me. It keeps me happy almost. Nature and Luke both keep me happy now. For the most part. Nothing can keep me out of the pit of depression for too long. But it helps.

Anyway, as I was saying, the weekend didn't last nearly as long as I'd like. The peace and serenity can only last so long before reality flies in and smacks your muzzle into next week. That reality is school. As Luke and I approach the entrance to the school I grow apprehensive. Scared almost. My heart rate rises and my breathing quickens as that familiar feeling of panic starts setting in. It feels like I'm staring over the edge of a cliff into a deep abyss, so close to falling. It feels like that. The fear part. On top of that, parts of my skin get prickly. Almost as if a thousand needles are poking into my every pore. Up my back, on my arms, traveling across my neck in an almost painful wave. I've felt this all before. It's from my severe anxiety.

Soon we enter the school only to be greeted immediately by the principal. Mr. Ortiz. He's a pretty cool guy. He's a leopard, about 6' 3" in height, and he's got a beer gut starting. He'd stop by mine and Luke's lunch table while we're eating to talk for a while. He usually manages to make my day a little better. "Ahh, good morning, Tony! Luke! It's great to have you back, the both of you. I've missed our chats at lunch. Come, into my office. I'd like to discuss a few things with you two."

Mr. Ortiz leads us into his office and shuts the door. He sits behind his desk, while we stand in front of it.

"Now, boys. I have been informed of what happened to both of you over the weeks you were missing. But so has the whole school. Luke, for you this isn't very bad. Not as bad as it is for Tony. There's no way to sugar coat it. I've told the students to leave the both of you alone, and only friendly contact is allowed. Anything contradicting that will be met with immediate reprimanding. I know that many students here are good hearted, but there are still those bad eggs. If either of you hear so much as a whisper against you two, tell one of the staff. They will take care of it. Got that?"

"Clear as mud." Luke says. I stay silent, giving just a nod.

"Good. Now, we were planning on having an assembly for your safe return. However, I felt that putting the both of you on the spot like that would make you more uncomfortable than welcomed. So, we held the assembly last Friday and video taped a segment." Mr. Ortiz beckons us over to the other side of his desk as he brings up the video on YouTube. The first thing I noticed was the views. Over 100 million. That scared me. But not as much as having 200 million eyes on me in person.

The video plays. The bleachers in the gym have been pulled from the wall and occupied by the 500+ students in the school. They're separated by class. Freshman on the left, sophomores next to them, then juniors, then seniors. The freshman class held a banner saying, "Welcome back guys!"

We can hear Mr. Ortiz's voice from behind the camera. "One. Two. Three!" That is followed by a loud chorus of "Welcome back Tony and Luke!" and some cheering. The camera gets turned around after things die down just a bit so Mr. Ortiz can be seen. "Welcome back guys. You've been sorely missed."

I can't help but feel like that wasn't necessary. Most of those furs didn't even know my name before I left. It's just something they organized. It's a nice gesture, but I don't think it was needed. It doesn't matter though. Not anymore. What's done is done. No point dwelling on it.

"Well, there you have it boys. Now, one more thing. I've taken the liberty of changing your schedules so you two have every class together. You can sit wherever you want in your classes. Whatever makes you comfortable." The bell rings. "Right, the both of you need to scoot off to homeroom." He hands us each a piece of paper with our schedule on it. They're all the same classes, but they've been rearranged.

We say our thanks and leave Mr. Ortiz's office, proceeding to homeroom. Along the way we get stopped by furs welcoming us back. People we don't even know. I stay close to Luke, not saying many words. Walking through the crowded hallways and being stared at really makes me uncomfortable. My mind is screaming to have it be over with. None the less I do my best to keep a calm demeanor on the outside.

Before long we make it to homeroom. The teacher just nods to us as we come in. We stick by the door since homeroom doesn't last long. Soon the bell rings, and the morning announcements come on. The sound of Mr. Ortiz's voice echoes through the room, and our around the hallway.

"Good morning students, would you all please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance." Everyone stands in the room, but only two or three of the students hold their paws above their hearts. That's all that's expected of them. "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." The whole speech is only repeated by the few students with their paws above their hearts, and even then it is only mumbled. One of the students recites, "with liberty, and flapjacks, for all" which elects a few chuckles from around the classroom. Mr. Ortiz continues with the announcements.

"Okay, as many of you have already found out, we have both Luke and Tony back with us today. I ask that you all leave them be, unless they say otherwise. The whole school welcomes you two back." The room erupts into applause and cheering. It's easy to see that they're trying to be supportive. Cheering can also be heard down the hall from other homerooms. My ears go back. I can feel the eyes of all the students on me. I move behind Luke to block out the gazes and attention. Mr. Ortiz continues on with the regular announcements. Scholarship opportunities for seniors, community service for furs that don't have enough, names of furs that need to go to the office for some reason or another.

After Mr. Ortiz gets done with the announcements there's usually a few minutes to wait until the bell, but our homeroom teacher lets me and Luke out early so we can beat the traffic. We both head off to period one. English with Ms. Lariat. She's a pretty nice teacher, but she can get a little... Too personal when it comes to writing assignments. Once she had everyone keep a journal, that we were supposed to write anything that makes us happy that happens during the day. She wanted to "know more about us" on an individual level. She expects us to all put a bit of ourselves in our writing assignments. I say, she can eat shit and die.

Luke and I take a seat in the back row of desks on the side of the room closest to the door. Ms. Lariat gives us a friendly 'hi' as we enter. I say nothing, Luke nods his head in recognition. A few moments later Ms. Lariat picks up two thick folders and sets them on our desks.

"This is everything you missed. If you have any questions just ask me. Have everything done and turned in before the end of the year. You can do it all at once, or space it out. I know you're going to have a lot of make up work from your other teachers, so I didn't want you to worry about a due date." She turns and goes back to her post at the front of the classroom. She has a wooden podium and a stool that she uses to teach behind, and she has a small table next to that with all her stuff. In the corner of the room, right next to us, is her desk. It's cluttered with papers. Books line the shelves on the walls. She separates all the books by those she's read, and those she hasn't. In other words, there's a small stack of books she has yet to read on a desk at the very very back of the room.

After a while, everyone is in and seated. I can feel the stares on me, and I can hear the faint whispers by a few of them. I put my hood up to help block the stares, and I scootch just a bit closer to Luke. Class goes off without a hitch. Ms. Lariat had us write a short paper about what we plan for the future. I didn't know what to put, so I just wrote about that. How I don't know what I want out of the future, and how I'm just going to have to wait and hope that my luck turns better than it has. For the rest of class Ms. Lariat has us read. She has Luke and I pick our book off of the many shelves in the room. I pick up a few, but decide on one that really caught my attention. "Deadline" by Chris Crutcher. On the cover there's a quote, "What if you had only one year to live... and you knew it?" I'm sure you can understand my interest. Living life without consequence must be pretty nice, right? The main character, Ben Wolf, finds out he's terminal, but he doesn't want treatment and he doesn't want anyone to know. He chooses to keep it a secret. To spend what's left of his life as normal as possible. It's quite interesting.

Second period is gym. Just what every growing boy needs. Come to think of it, I haven't had much exercise in quite a while. I could use it. Today, we happen to run the mile. Four grueling laps around the track. At the end of it I'm gulping in air while holding my chest. I might be nimble, and I might be fast, but my endurance sucks... The teacher, Coach, told me I could use more practice. He suggests going out for a team or something. Even taking little jogs at home on my own. I might just do that. It could come in handy if I have to run for my life.

Third period. Math. Nothing interesting happens. Ms. Reeves just gives Luke and me a bunch of homework. Same as Ms. Lariat. Except she wants it done within two months. When the bell rings we book it out of there to our next class. Science with Mr. Putnam. He's a pretty cool guy. He gives us our homework, but there isn't much of it. He just wants us to read over a few chapters that we missed and do a few worksheets that go with them. He doesn't even want notes. We leave that class a little happier, but our backpacks are getting pretty full.

Fifth period is lunch for us. The study hall aid lets us go to the front of the line to get our food. Then we eat at one of the tables lined up on the back wall. The one closest to the outside entrance. It gives us the quickest shortcut to our next class. History with Mr. Anderson. While Mr. Anderson is a pretty old guy, he's also pretty funny. That doesn't stop him from giving us enough homework to leave no more room in our backpacks. Either way, his class goes smoothly. We're watching Schindler's List. I have to look away a couple times. The brutality brings back a few memories I could do without.

The last two periods of our day are spent in a study hall. There, we do some of our homework. Luke points out that we should do the stuff with the soonest due date. I agree. So we get a small dent of our math homework done. Before long the bell comes to end the day. Luke offers to carry both our backpacks out the door, since mine weighs right about as much as me.

Outside we look around. Luke's mother sits in her car outside of the entrance. Mr. Ortiz is leaned into the passenger side window. We head over to the car.

"Thank you so much, Dave. I think you've made wonderful accommodations for the boys. I hope they did okay being back in school."

"It's not a problem Mrs. Nightclaw. I've kept an eye on them all day. They seem to be doing good. And the word in the teachers lounge seems to agree."

"Oh, hun. Please, call me Janet." She giggles and flips her hair back. Luke sticks his tongue out and makes a disgusted face as if to say "bleh". Luke makes a big show of opening the back door and plopping the backpacks in the seat.

"Well there you are boys! I hope you enjoyed your first day back." Janet says.

"Mum, our backpacks were empty when we got here. Now they can be used as anchors."

Janet chuckles. "Fair enough. Tony, your parents said you could spend the night if you'd like to." She smiles knowing full well that I'd like to spend the night. I just nod my head. "I've already got clothes for you in Luke's room."

Luke holds the door open for me to climb into the middle of the backseat, then he climbs in himself. Mr. Ortiz speaks up.

"You boys stay safe now. And do that homework. It's best not to procrastinate with it. Trust me. I've got enough experience procrastinating." He chuckles to himself then waves. "See you tomorrow."

Luke closes the door as Janet puts the car in drive. She waves in a flirty way to Mr. Ortiz which makes both Luke and me roll our eyes. Before long we speed off to Luke's house.