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The Two-sided Mirror - Chapter 1: Stranded

Time stood still. Or that is how it felt for John for a few moments before time seemed to reluctantly adhere to the cogs driving it again.

He was not even sure if wanted it to continue on again. He tried to grasp on to that feeling, the excitement, the vision, the insight, but it was slipping away. Instead it was replaced with a wave of dizziness and pain that barely allowed him to be scared. The last thing that he could remember before blacking out was him being pulled towards an open page of the comic book he had been reading.

Dizzy and numb he opened his eyes towards the ceiling. A blurry shape moved into view and eyes looked down at him. Trying to see clearer he moved his hands to rub his eyes, but they only barely did his wishes as if his limbs were not receiving instructions through his nerves properly. This would have caused him to worry otherwise, but something else now demanded his full attention.

The figure that was still looking down at him, apparently stunned and staring, was covered in fur and even looked familiar, even though he did not look exactly like he had pictured him.

"Tomas?" asked John.

The fox dropped his jaw and after a moment stuttered. At first John could not understand what he had uttered. This must have shown on Johns face because Tomas now repeated more slowly and firmly "What-... who are you? How do you know my name?"

Tomas spoke in a strange dialect he had not heard before, but with some hard attention and deciphering John managed to understand most words and the meaning behind the questions.

"Hard to explain. I'm not even sure I know."

Tomas seemed to have the same troubles with John's speech as well, but he managed more easily.

"You are Tomas from Hillard, aren't you?" asked John.

"Yes" said Tomas but sat back on his bed.

"I must be dreaming" he said, continuing, somewhat to himself.

"Or maybe I am." John replied. "But I have rarely had a dream like this, and dreaming up a dialect like you have? I would always have imagined you to speak just as any other American does..."

"American?" asked Tomas "What's that?"

"You don't know?"

"No."

"It's the name of the country you live in"

"No. It's called..."

But at that moment it knocked on the door.

"Tomas?" a concerned voice sounded. "Everything alright?" "I heard a loud thud."

"Did you?" Tomas replied. "Oh, that. I fell from my bed as I was sleeping. Nothing wrong with me. A little bruise at most."

"OK" answered the voice. "It sounded more than that, but if you're sure..."

"Yea, I'm sure."

"See ya tomorrow in class then..."

"Who was that?" asked John.

"A colleague of mine. He can't see you, who knows what would happen."

"Why?"

"You're a human, right?" responded Tomas with another question.

"Yes, of course. Oh.. I see what you mean, you don't have any here."

"We don't have any?" Tomas grinned after a moment "Yes, you could say that. You're a myth. Most would think you're an ape gone wrong"

"A myth? An ape?" asked John bewildered, and after a moment he continued "And why do you say most? You don't think so?"

"Well.. I believed so, until now."

"Wow. I had dreamed about scenarios like this, but that's not exactly what I imagined." mused John.

"Same with me... Hey, why don't you sit up?" He pointed to the foot of his bed.

"Yeah, it's getting awkward." said John.

"You tell me..." replied Tomas reviewing Johns features.

"Could you help me? I'm still a bit shaky from the ride."

"Oh. Yes." Tomas held out a paw. "What ride was that? And what's your name, anyway?"

"I don't know. I can only guess. My name's John"

"John? Don't you mean Jane or something?" wondered Tomas surprised.

"What?!" After having struggled to sit on the bed he looked down over himself and gasped. "I.. I guess.."

"You guess?" inquired Tomas.

"In my world I was male. Physically."

"In your...?" Tomas tried to catch up "Physically?"

"Well, yes, I figure I somehow got from my world to yours. And yes, physically. Cause I've always felt that part of me was female." John blushed somewhat and looked down, just to find herself blushing even more looking over her naked body. "My furry self is, at least. Don't ask me why I am female here." John could really only speculate on the why him.. herself.

"Bizarre. What's furry?" asked Tomas.

"Furry?" John sighed. "Oh... don't we have more important things to discuss?" "Yes. Lots, I guess. But I'm still curious..." Said Tomas, almost pressingly.

"There are some people in my world that call themselves Furry. They are hooked together to a community by the common interest in anthropomorphic animals... like you, actually.. and sometimes even the feeling to be an animal themselves. But it's actually more diverse and complex." explained John...

"Wow. And now you sit beside a real one." commented Tomas and paused. "If we go along that line, you could call me humanic.. or bareskin.

I'm part of a group of people who are intrigued by the myth and the idea of humans. We actually believe it's more than just a myth, and some are crazy about it in the way that they long to be one, to not have fur as most of us have."

John could only glare. "Crazy. Oh, it would be something like that to some of us furries. Just the opposite of us, in a way. Mirrored."

"Oh. Wow." was all Tomas could respond.

"So... how did you not notice you've changed to female?" continued Tomas.

"It must have been because my whole body felt so numb - it still does a bit. Maybe because of the transition to your world.. or even because of the gender change itself.. but I can only guess about that." contemplated John.

"Makes sense. How do you feel about it?" asked Tomas.

"Well... I'm dazed. I would feel scared and delighted at the same time. Well, I am.. but this whole thing... seeing you.. tops it. How do you feel about finding me in your room?"

"Scared and delighted seem to be a good description too. Scared of what will come of it... of me, of you.. and delighted because the theory, the belief I have and shared with others actually appears to be real." explained Tomas and continued "Actually... You have not answered my second question. How CAN you know my name? You're from another world.."

A smile came across John's face and she sighed.

"Usually I'd say it's hard to explain but..." John paused for a moment and then turned to point at the book on the bed. "Can you show me this book?" he asked.

Tomas looked confused but handed him the book. It was rather thin and actually a comic book, but with more than usual writing in it. John took a closer look and opened a page.

"Were you on this page before?" she asked, after having found what she had searched for.

"Yes..." answered Tomas, even more confused.

"It did not make sense to me before, seeing it drawn rather small before, but now it does." began John. "It's a story set in a bareskins world, isn't it?"

"Yes.." confirmed Tomas again, not having had the chance to lose his confused expression which was now starting to turn into astonishment.

"Before I came here I read a comic book as well. It was a usual book until yesterday, but it must have changed - or at least have shown its special properties. I can only speculate, really. That book was about you..."

"Me?!"

"Well, not you specifically, about Hillard, about some of the people here, for instance Daniel and Marcus and their relationship, about Daniel dealing with homosexuality. You're one of the characters in that story..." John paused a bit, thinking.. "You are not that far ahead of him finding out about yourself actually, aren't you?" asked John finally.

"Wow." Was all Tomas could say for a while.

"Is my impression right?" persisted John.

"Your impression on what?" asked Tomas. "My impression on you dealing with your... homosexuality.."

"It's a rather personal question,..." said Tomas, avoiding Johns eyes "But yes, I've only found out about myself rather recently." Tomas blushed, lowering his head for a moment but then continuing rather sternly "It wouldn't be much of a deal, really, if it wasn't for Hillard."

"What do you mean?" asked John calmly, having listened attentively.

"Well, I'm relieved you don't know everything" smiled Tomas. "Hillard is very conservative when you compare it to almost everywhere else. It's a good University - almost elite actually, with a good reputation, but probably because of that a bit strict and in a way old-fashioned. Well, there are some nice professors that make the exception but you have to be careful with the heads. I don't really understand how they can keep it up like this, I mean... we've even got some gays in the elder circle."

"Elder Circle?" asked John.. "Don't you have a president?"

"President? You mean as in single leader? That was given up centuries ago.." informed Tomas.

"Now that's interesting. How..." John wanted to ask about the nature of the 'Elder Circle' but he was interrupted by a sound at the door.

The door sprang open - John could actually feel the air forced towards her - and a ferret entered with a swing. "Guess what..." he began even while he was still in the motion, but he suddenly stopped frozen as he looked at John. His eyes grew large. "What the...?" he began...

Tomas tried to a make futile gesture to shush up and calm the ferret, but Julius was already on the run. Tomas sprang up in an attempt to follow him, and vanished out of the of the room. Half a minute later he returned, breathing heavily. "He was too fast for me. Met some others and appeared to tell them right away. I know him, he means trouble. We have to get out or it might be that we are cornered soon."

John was still somewhat dazed. She gulped. "What..." she started, looking around the room helplessly. Finally having caught herself she revised "Help me get up, I feel I might not do very well on my feet." She tried to get up, nonetheless, though clumsily but Tomas was already holding her on one arm.

Finally having gotten up, Tomas held her from the side aiding her forward. "Quick, there is a backdoor with a stairway down."

They went out into the hall. John started to shiver, but they continued hastily and somewhat limping. At a corner of the end of the hall Tomas opened a door. Just after they went through it to the stairway, the door closed and they continued into it. They heard many paws on the other side of the door.

Tomas turned his head to the door but nobody came through. "Let's get on, but silently, he whispered."

They went down in the stairway, but since Tomas had to almost carry John there - the stairs were simply too much for her - it went slowly. After having gotten one and a half levels down they heard a door above open and falling shut again. Thomas stopped and listened up for a moment but went on after hearing nothing more. "I have a car just around the corner." Tomas whispered, dragging her down the last of the steps and opened the door to the outside.

Just as they were exiting the building and turning to the left to continue along the wall John had a last glance in. On the last steps of the staircase she saw a snow leopard, apparently just on the way down, but stopping as that creature stared at her and froze.

John inhaled sharply but was dragged on outside. As they went along the wall of the building she whispered "I've just seen a snow leopard in the staircase, not sure if we are being followed, she seemed pretty startled."

Tomas said nothing but quickened his pace, now already breathing heavily as they turned around another corner and went straight to a car on a parking space, almost empty except for a few separate cars.

Finally they reached it and got in. Tomas started the engine and they drove away.

As John took a look back when they turned into another street she saw a couple of 'furs' through a lit window of the dormitory building looking down at them and a separate shadow on the ground she though she recognized as the snow leopard, apparently looking after them, but she could not be sure since it was deep in the night here.

"Some of them might have seen us get a way. That snow leopard definitely did, I saw her standing beside the house, but alone. Do you think they'll follow us?" said John with a tone of fear in her voice.

"I don't know. Depends on whether they really believe Julius. That snow leopard must have been Micha - she's of the calm type and I doubt she will. We just might be lucky, Julius is known to gossip just to have something to say."

After a minute of driving John asked "Where are we going?"

"To my parent's place."

"What? Are you.."

"They are not at home" Tomas interrupted. "They are on holiday. I can park the car in the garage so people won't see right away that someone's in. Some know where they are though, so if they really..." Tomas paused, too frightened to continue.

"... hunt us down? Would they do that?" John asked.

"I don't know. I know it's not a perfect place but I don't know where else to go. It should be safe enough, and to try something more drastic feels a bit too crazy without knowing how much trouble we are really in."

"You must know. Is it far?"

"Well, it's about half an hour. That's another reason why I think it's the best bet for now."

John looked out of the window, watching the countryside fly by - or the bits of it that she could make out - in silence. As they went on in silence, she started to calm down, only to begin shivering. She looked down at herself and remembered she did not have anything on. "Do you have clothes for me? I'm freezing." she asked. Tomas glanced over at her. "I don't have an any in the car, but you can get my pullover and I'll turn on the heating." Thomas slowed to a halt and pulled the garment over his head to give it to her. "Thanx." John took the pullover and put it on. "I'd love to have fur, I wouldn't freeze then, and always feel so soft... Isn't it hot with fur, a t-shirt and a pullover?" "It is, but I'm having a slight cold, so I thought that would help me. There are times when all that fur gets on my nerves.. Drying it after a shower takes ages, and all the fluff on the floor. Sometimes I try to imagine how it'd be without it." explained Tomas. He turned on the heating system of the car and continued driving.

"It'll take a while until it gets warm in here" They drove on, but time seemed to stand still.

John sniffed the air and noticed the slight scent on the pullover. She could not help but pull it up to her nose, smell it and close her eyes, hoping Tomas would not notice. Tomas smiled to himself as he glanced at her and had to suppress a chuckle.

It was starting to feel awkward not to say anything though after a while, so John looked out of the rear window instead. After a long while she said "I don't think anyone is following us. Haven't seen any cars behind us. Who are these guys that saw us leave?"

"Oh, I don't know who it is exactly, I merely had a glance, but I think I've seen Timmy, and maybe Marcus."

"Oh. THE Timmy and Marcus?" asked John.

"What? What do you mean?" replied Tomas in an agitated tone.

"Are they both in the group of gays that you're part of?"

"Yes. If they are the only ones we might not have to fear, but I think there were more."

"Well let's see." Concluded John and they rode the rest of the way in silence again.

Finally, after less than half an hour - Tomas had been driving faster than he normally dared - they arrived. It was a small village, but it looked like the suburb of a larger village. Nice houses with small lawns in front of the street, perfectly lined up.

"My parents like it nice" said Tomas "...but it's a bit too nice for me. I'm used to shorter visits now, it's OK then, but I get restless when I stay here too long."

John just walked beside Tomas and listened to the surroundings as he headed to the door after the Garage door fell shut again. She managed to walk much easier now, but Tomas still lent her an arm.

"I'm still glad they let me keep my own keys for the house even though I'm not living here anymore. Comes in handy when you have to hide." He even managed a grin after unlocking and opening the door for John and letting her go in first.

"Just the hall straight ahead to the living room." Instructed Tomas.

John did as told, taking a look at everything, walking rather slow, almost careful. She felt like an explorer, somehow. The house was decorated in a style she could only faintly describe as modern, to a degree familiar but it definitively had a strange touch. Even though it appeared to be tidy, what struck her was the noticeable amount of shed hair lying on the ground that did not seem to fit into the scheme.

Coming into the living room made her feel better. It was large, as opposed to the somewhat narrow hall, with a fireplace in the far side, the floor fully wooden except for the stone around the fireplace, two armchairs and a long sofa. What made her feel good though was that the entire side of the room she was facing was glass, opening up the view to a well cared garden. Part of the ceiling of that side of the room was glass as well, so she could see the moon shine.

"Have a seat" Tomas said, standing still behind her, one paw cradling the other over his tummy.

John looked around, wondering which place to choose. She decided on the far side of the sofa, which was facing the garden.

"Do you want something to drink?" Tomas asked.

"Just water." John replied.

Tomas went through a door she had not noticed before, which appeared to lead to the kitchen. She heard water running and then watched Tomas return with two glasses, one in each paw, which he placed onto a low table before the sofa.

"I hope it's OK that I turn off the lights again. I don't want to draw attention. You know, if anyone followed us, after all." Tomas said, with his paw already on the switch.

She heard the switch turn, the lights going out and saw the moon reflected dimly on the wooden floor as she sat on the sofa that remained in the dark part of the room. Tomas was coming closer to her as the claws of his paws were clicking against the hard wood. As he sat beside her, feeling his weight on the sofa just next to her she could already see him again as her eyes had adjusted to the darkness.

"I like it here." John said, watching, almost staring, out into the garden, not having touched the water yet. "Helps me relax again, after all this."

After a while of silence in which both took a sip of water, she continued.

"Was it really necessary to flee like this?"

"I hope so... uhm... I mean not... uh..." he paused, feeling himself blushing now. "You know what I mean" Tomas added, half as statement and question... "Well, actually, I don't really know. I was just afraid, and I guess that took over. I don't know what would have happened, but I was afraid of some rather nasty scenarios, so maybe I panicked a little."

"It all went a bit fast and I felt panicky myself. So I don't blame you." John took the glass up again, this time holding it in both hands after another sip. "Seeing this place though, I think it was worth it. Gives us more space and freedom to..." She went silent again, not knowing what best to say.

"Explore?" asked Tomas. "I noticed the way you slowly walked along the hall."

"Yes. Explore. I really felt like exploring." agreed John.

"It's surprising, I expected another world to be vastly different." continued

John "I mean, it is, but the way you build houses, the basics of interior decoration, it's quite similar, though I would call what I see here somewhat futuristic, even though I guess there is no real description of what that might mean. It's far more hairy though." she concluded, looking at the floor.

"Oh. I guess so..." Thomas said, following her gaze. "Some - obviously

only furred species - try to keep the floor fur-clean, but most don't bother with the effort as it requires cleaning once a day or more, in shedding season it's near impossible anyway."

John giggled. "I imagine. A friend I know has a husky as a pet, and his home reminds me a bit of here when it comes to this."

"As a pet?" Thomas inquired "I thought your world does not have... furs. And even then - having fellow people as a pet? Sounds sick."

"We don't have. I talk of an animal husky here." explained John.

"I don't understand." complained Thomas.

"Don't you have animals, here?" wondered John.

"We do, but most animals around here have no counterpart in people. The only somewhat direct counterparts live far off in preserves since they can react badly to us. They certainly won't work as pets, they're wild. Owning an animal as a pet is a rare thing and involves special training and work, and only very few species are allowed."

"Wow, that's interesting. And strange. Are there any direct animal counterparts to sentient species?" John wanted to know.

"No. I'm a red fox. I don't know of any animal red foxes. There are grey foxes though. This has actually been a topic which was, and partially still is, widely discussed. Some believe of gods that have elevated us sentients above normal animals after themselves. That is actually the most common explanation, also supported by the Elder Circle. Many of us don't believe so though, even though we couldn't completely agree on an alternate explanation. I favor the alien intervention theory though."

"Alien intervention?" John commented inquiringly.

"That aliens once visited this world and infused additional DNA into some animals, letting them evolve into sentient beings. I even think they used their own as a basis for that." Thomas explained.

"Ah, that's why others see you somewhat geeky. Aliens, science fiction,

computers..." said John, almost whispering the last words, grinning sheepishly.

"Hey! Not you too!" Thomas protested. "How do you know, anyway?"

After a short pause, looking at a bookshelf, he concluded "... Not that comic book, you mentioned, is it?"

"Exactly." she confirmed, laughing. "They called you geek in that hall meeting"

"How should I call you now? You did mention your name John, but that's a male name. Should I still go with that one?" asked Thomas, changing topic. He did not like to be reminded too much on how he was treated by many others, it made him feel as an outsider, and alone.

John turned to Thomas again, now looking him in the eyes, after having stared at the floor and the now seemingly bright reflection of the moon on it.

"Oh boy, I don't really know..."