My Little Mashup 3 - Tricks

Story by sozmioi on SoFurry

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#3 of My Little Mashup

With a bunch of demons prancing around Canterlot Palace, guess who got un-petrified?


An hour and three messages later, I was carrying a rope leader so a halyard could be set up, removing me as the choke point of communication. But as I approached, I heard laughter. Rushing faster, I found a bizarre creature standing over the princess - part antelope, goat, pony, lizard... It was a bit like Macidexia's demons, but much more so, and larger than either of us... and it turned to face me.

"My, my, my, what do we have here?"

I froze.

"It looks like you didn't run for the hills after all. Humans. So... deliciously... ah, but why should I give it all away? Who do you think I am?"

He seemed to actually be demanding an answer! I managed to get out, "Baphomet? No, wait. Baphomet had boobs. Umm.. 'Pantyhose' Taro?"

The chimera laughed. "Yes, as I was saying, delicious. I am Discord, and I do as I please. Chaos is what I like, and I'm good at making it. But what do I find after my little nap? More chaos than I really expected. A circle of demons around me, in the heart of Canterlot, breaking down my prison just by being themselves around each other! You're slipping, my dear. Want a hankie?" With a flash of light, he conjured one and offered it to her; she declined, and he tossed it over his shoulder, where it became a bat and flew away.

Discord waited for a fit to subside and went on, "You did catch me by surprise with those elements of harmony. And it didn't seem you used them up in the process, either. But... you could have broken them. Yes... I haven't seen any signs of your sister. Had a little tiff? Wisely kept it away from me, I see."

Celestia boasted, "We've come a long way in twelve hundred years, Discord. You will not find us so easily swayed."

Discord raised one eyebrow. "Is that so. Yet here you are. I barely have to do anything."

Celestia closed her eyes and thought, then opened, intent. "You really think so? A wager, then."

"Really. This is new. Go on! And stop sneezing. It's distracting."

He waved at her, and her sneezes halted. She did not acknowledge the favor. "For the next ten days, I do not alert anypony to your presence or issue orders that would interfere with you, or use any magic to stop you. At the same time, you limit yourself to affecting one earth or pegasus pony in Ponyville. Not one at a time - pick only one. Any work day in those ten days, if fewer than half of Ponyville attend work, and more than one in ten adult ponies in the town intentionally hurts somepony, you win. Otherwise, we do." What? I suppose, given what he is, he would have wanted to make ponies hurt each other anyway... but it still seems odd to aim him right at it.

"And what're the stakes?" He stroked his goat beard, intrigued.

"If we win, you will remain on Lonely mountain for ten years, and all of your magic is confined to that mountain. If you win, I will not use the elements of harmony against you for ten years."

"Ten years. Hmm. What's in this... for you? It almost sounds like you haven't got the elements of harmony at all."

"They are being prepared as we speak. I've been wondering what would happen to you if you had to sit on Lonely mountain all that time."

Discord frowned. "Ah. This is serious, then." He began thinking harder. "Your terms apply to him, too." He gestured insolently with his thumb-claw back at me.

Celestia cocked her head slightly as if he'd caught her. "Yes."

"And no declaring new holidays to keep me from winning. And no setting the sun early to cut a bad day short."

"There has always been a holiday on the fifth day, but the days after are open. I will keep day and night on schedule, if I am able."

Discord leaned close and sniffed. "Hmm. You are weak. Well, if you fall behind schedule it would just extend my mischief time anyway, wouldn't it? I think that covers it."

"Let's make this binding." She put forward a hoof, and her horn began glowing, just a little.

"Now, now, Celestia. You know how I feel about following the rules."

"I don't expect you to go by the spirit, just the letter."

"Oho, that's the spirit! You're on!" Discord took her hoof in his claw, then looked to me. "As I said, you too!"

I hesitated. Celestia said, "Omar."

Discord raised an eyebrow. "Omar! What an auspicious name."

Ignoring the comment, I put my hand on top. There was a sort of blink. Discord withdrew his claw, snapped his fingers, and vanished.

Celestia released her breath, and turned to me. "Now, Omar. Don't you think Ponyville could use some help?"

"Wait, what? Didn't you just say..."

"Only you don't see my wish as your command."

I figured out what she meant - she had just said the letter of the agreement was the only thing - I could choose to go or not. And to make that choice, I needed to understand. "But... what's the plan? Aren't a lot of ponies going to be hurt?"

She nodded. "Perhaps. Probably not. Being restricted to one pony, he will have to use indirect means. That will take time, and he will want to use most of it. Before then, Twilight Sparkle should be able to defeat him. Don't you think she could use some help with that?"

Ah. I guess that makes sense. "All right."

She seemed like she was about to say something further, but let out a sneeze was so powerful I regained consciousness a few feet from the ground, my fall arrested by two pegasus guards.

The captain approached me, concerned. "Is she all right?"

"Not worse. Just... tried something. It didn't work."

He could tell I wasn't being entirely truthful, which was unfortunate, because when I requested help going to Ponyville, I was denied - and indeed, all assistance from the guards dried up, except for getting directions.